All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/22/13
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Little girl: [Distorted singing] He's always right behind you. [Echoing] Right behind you. [Spooky old man suddenly appears behind Celia]
Pete: Hey. Hey, hey, hey. You're fine. Just a bad dream. You're totally safe. You're in the Big not-so-bad Apple with me.
Opal: All right, all right! I'm dancing as fast as I can here! Oh, hello. What -- what are you --
Evelyn: Where's Celia?
Opal: H-how should I know? She's gone missing on you?
Evelyn: She has run off with your son.
Opal: Oh, horsefeathers! Petey... just left early.
Evelyn: We were on our way to Europe last night when your son shows up impersonating a chauffer and they ran off together.
Opal: Oh, my Lord.
Evelyn: Mm-hmm. She texted me a short while later and asked me not to worry. I'd like to know exactly what I'm supposed to do when it's quite obvious that she's been taken advantage of.
Opal: Wait. Excuse me. But if there's anybody being taken advantage of here, it is my Petey. Since the day that that little vixen wagged her plaid-clad caboose in his direction, she has been luring him in like a trapdoor spider.
Evelyn: Mrs. Cortlandt... Celia is a complete innocent in every way. Your son has convinced her to stay out all night with the obvious intention of seducing her.
Brooke: Oh, I love you, too, Adam. Oh, God, do I miss you. And please, do not worry about JR. If you really think that he's lying about not remembering what happened that night, I will find out soon enough. And, yes, I will make sure that AJ is protected, too. Hurry home!
Miranda: Hey. I didn't know if you still wanted to -- I mean, I hope it's okay that I --
Miranda: You still want to take the bus together, right?
AJ: Uh, how else are we supposed to get to school?
AJ: So, um, you ready for today?
Miranda: Can't wait! "Look who's back in school -- 'Moron-Da' Montgomery, Lesbo Princess.'"
AJ: I expect you to walk in like you're hot shit and own the place.
Miranda: [Sighs] This day's gonna suck.
AJ: So, let's get it over with.
Miranda: AJ, wait. Just so things aren't super-awkward between us... About last night...
AJ: You mean the kiss.
Miranda: It -- it was way too -- I mean, things are complicated enough, what with my mom and your dad. And you and I, since we were born, we're practically family. You're my best friend. I don't want to screw that up.
AJ: It's cool.
Miranda: Is it? I want to make sure we're on the same page on this.
AJ: Yeah. No worries. It's cool.
Vlad: Get that one cleaned up. She made impression on client last night. He wants her all night tonight.
Jesse: Hey, hey.
Angie: Any -- any news?
Jesse: Well... [Sighs] We were chasing down a lead. Turned out to be a dead end, for now, but when we were out there... the craziest thing happened. I still can't believe it.
Jesse: I came face-to-face with a ghost.
[Knock on door]
Jesse: What the hell are you doing here?!
Jesse: Angela, this --
Angie: Oh, God. How could this be?!
Jesse: This is who I was talking about.
Billy Clyde: May I say you are still a stunningly beautiful woman.
Angie: You took her, didn't you? Where is she? What have you done with my daughter?!
Uri: [Slams down his cell phone]
Cara: Whoa. Are you okay?
Cara: Stop it, all right? You're not gonna be beating yourself up.
JR: It's so frustrating. I'm not getting any better.
Cara: You are -- getting better. You're just not getting there as fast as you'd like.
JR: Well, there's a meeting of Chandler shareholders today. You know, I want to walk in there confident, not like some weakling hobbling on a cane. It's pathetic.
Cara: Then you're setting yourself up for disaster, because you are not there, all right? Not yet. Let's go. Up, up, up, up, up, up.
Cara: Come on. But you will be, all right? I will make sure of it. Stop being so damn impatient.
[Cell phone chimes]
Pete: Let me guess -- Evelyn, the human chastity belt.
Pete: I swear to God she has my mother's sixth sense. Don't ask. She's persistent, though. I'll give her that.
Celia: Oh, my God, Pete! Look at all these texts. There's like 50! She must have been up all night. She's definitely freaking out that I did not go to Europe and that I ran off with the chauffer.
Pete: Well, I'll give you a ride if you want.
Celia: No. I don't want to go back. I am having fun with you here in New York. [Scoffs] It is way past time that I have fun for a change.
Tia: Do you see what I mean now? About needing the pills. They help you get through it.
Cassandra: I don't want to get through it. I want to fight back, and I will.
Tia: Yeah, expect Superman to come flying through that window any moment now.
Cassandra: He will be. My dad was expecting me the night they took me. He's the chief of police of Pine Valley, and I guarantee every law organization is out looking for me by now.
Jesse: Angela. Angela! Let go.
Billy Clyde: I think we have a misunderstanding of the situation.
Angie: You better tell me where my daughter is!
Jesse: Angela, calm down.
Angie: I can't calm down! He has my daughter, and I know it!
Jesse: I-I thought the same thing, too. But now I don't. I think he might be able to help us find her.
Brooke: Oh! Hey! Don't you look great.
JR: Oh, thanks. I don't think it looks too bad. I certainly don't recommend the diet I was on. [Chuckles]
Brooke: Where are you off to?
JR: Well, isn't the board meeting today?
Brooke: Oh. Yes.
JR: What's wrong, Brooke?
Brooke: JR, I'm fairly certain that your father doesn't want you at the meeting today.
JR: [Clears throat]
Brooke: The company is at a critical place. Adam has, uh, a lot of ambitious ideas, and I have a lot of strong-arming to do with some of the board members. I think if you are there, and he isn't...
JR: Yeah, it's gonna remind them of my reign of terror as CEO. They'll think I'm planning another palace coup.
Brooke: JR, I'm -- I'm really sorry.
JR: No. Don't be. No one to blame but myself. [Sighs]
Brooke: Well, I think this is something that you should, uh, work out with your father. Just give it some time.
[Door opens, closes]
AJ: Whoa. What do you want?
Hunter: Easy, boy wonder. Nothing to do with you. I came to apologize. Things kind of got out of hand.
AJ: Listen -- I know you're up to something. What -- are your boys around the corner ready to jump us or something?
Hunter: You're paranoid, Chandler. I'm being real.
AJ: What do you want?
Hunter: Yo, you want a piece of me again? Let's do this! I'm ready for you this time.
Miranda: Can you just leave us alone, please?
Hunter: I apologize, and this is what I get? Whatever. Looks like your loser BFF hasn't learned his lesson yet. Hey, make sure he stays away from me, or his attitude's gonna get his ass kicked. Score him a one-way ticket out of school for good. [Scoffs]
Miranda: [Sighs] I want to go home! [Groans]
AJ: Stop! Don't let that asshole get to you, okay? Look, the worst part's over. Come on. We're gonna have fun while we do it, okay? Cheer up! Let me see you smile!
Angie: I assume you're still a pimp.
Billy Clyde: Oh, that be some crass terms, my lady.
Angie: Do you or do you not still arrange for women to sell their bodies for your profit?
Billy Clyde: Uh, well, I-I-I tithe a full 10% of all my income to the good Lord. And yes, I am -- I am the protectorate of these damsels. Yes, I-I look after them. I am -- I am their shepherd. I show them the way. Yes, I keep them safe and happy throughout the many curvatures of life.
Jesse: Listen. If he can help us find her, I think he might be worth listening to.
Billy Clyde: Yes. Allow me to get in touch with one of my associates, and she will confirm the veracity of my assertions here. Is that agreed, hmm? And thence, I shall get back in touch with you, and I'm sure all will be fine, my lady.
Vlad: Wear this. The client wants to play games. Here. [Hands out pills to all 4 women]
Tia: I have some information for Uri.
Vlad: You know... I think I play game with you right now. Come.
Eileen: Go on. Take them. It won't be as bad if you do.
Cassandra: I'm not gonna give in. I'm gonna fight, until it kills me, or I kill them.
Kyle: Coach was pretty hard on you. I thought you were off the team for a minute.
AJ: Nah, I should be good, man. As long as I don't get into it with Hunter again. I just hope it didn't screw up my chances for starting pitcher.
Kyle: Get real. Rick's got starting locked. You missed the last three practices, and his fastball topped 80 yesterday.
AJ: What? Wait, you're shitting me, right? I mean, he could barely top 60 last month. Where'd this Superman arm come from?
Kyle: Duh. He's been juicing way longer than the rest of us have.
AJ: What? The whole team's using steroids?
Kyle: You're not?
AJ: No, man. Why should I?
Kyle: To be first string. Why else does anybody do it, dude? Look, you need to catch up fast, or else your ass is gonna be on that bench the rest of your life. Take this. 250 milligrams test "E," twice a week to start. Inject it into your ass muscle. See how it feels for the first week. You may need to double up to catch up to the rest of us. You can pay me later.
Billy Clyde: Now remember, my darling, we are going to go with the script that we rehearsed, huh?
Ruby Marie: Right. The script -- where we get the chief to shut down the strip club that's been taking away all of your business.
Billy Clyde: [Chuckles] Right.
Ruby Marie: How come you don't shut down the club on your own?
Billy Clyde: What and expose to the world my operations -- my beeswax operations? Oh, please. The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. But the Lord will especially taketh away if you do not keep your mind on your best assets.
Ruby Marie: Oh!
Billy Clyde: Here they come. Remember now -- stick with the script.
Ruby Marie: Mm-hmm.
Billy Clyde: Dr. Hubbard. Mm. Chief Hubbard. Allow me to produce Miss Ruby Marie... Delight.
Ruby Marie: [Chuckles]
Angie: Have you seen my daughter? Do you know where she is?
Ruby Marie: Do I?
Billy Clyde: [Scoffs] No, you do not know where she is. [Chuckles] Well, she's a little nervous. Why don't I simply summarize all the information that she's given me with regard to the men she believes responsible for this --
Jesse: I have a better idea. You stay here, and I'll take Miss... Delight right over here for a little chat.
Billy Clyde: Well, I think our proximity --
Jesse: Shut up! Stay put. You.
Angie: If I ever... ever find out that you had anything to do with Cassandra's disappearance, I will pay someone to throw you back in the river, and make sure that this time, you never make it out!
Uri: But you have something special to tell me now?
Tia: Yeah. The new girl, Cassandra -- she told me her father's the chief of police in Pine Valley.
Uri: What you say?
Tia: She said it. Her stepdad -- he's the top guy with the PVPD. And she also said he'll have every law enforcement agency out looking for her.
[Uri slaps Vlad]
Uri: You told me she was French.
Vlad: I watched her go through customs. She had French passport!
Uri: You stupid idiot! Do you know what danger you have put us in?
Opal: Listen, Petey. It's me. I want you to call me pronto. I want to know that you're okay! Uh, Ms. Johnson, the, uh, the headmistress of Bramwell Hall, says you and Celia ran off together. Well, where the devil did you go? Now, come on. Call me! I want to know that you're all right. Call me, damn it.
Evelyn: Well, this isn't Celia's, so I wonder where she got this.
Opal: Beats me.
Pete: Hello, Celia Fitzgerald. It's Pete Cortlandt. We met the other day when you dropped your bag. Ever since then, we've pretty much been missing each other, so I figured I would take the initiative to reintroduce myself.
Opal: Well, like I said, the boy has been bewitched!
Celia: [Sighs] Oh, what a morning! I feel like I'm on cultural overload.
Pete: And that was just the East Village. It's pretty cool, though, right?
Celia: Uh, the coolest! I've never had coffee in an underground speakeasy. And that mural -- it was, like, exploding off the wall.
Pete: John Matos is the man when it comes to mind-blowing art.
Celia: I've never been to that part of Manhattan before. Evelyn has a rule -- "Never go South of Rockefeller Plaza."
Pete: Well, definitely don't text Evelyn with those reality-show dudes around.
Celia: Oh, God, no! She'd strip search me to make sure I didn't have one. And she's never gonna believe that you're not trying to corrupt me.
Pete: Well, maybe I am.
Celia: You can't corrupt the willing. [Chuckles]
AJ: Hey, what's going on?
Miranda: Well, Study Hall sucks. A couple of girls moved 'cause they didn't want Hunter to see them sitting with me. But most of them told me what an asshole they thought he was for what he did, so it hasn't been total hell. How about you? Staying out of trouble?
AJ: Uh, I mean, I got reamed by Coach for getting suspended, but -- and he did say I'd get kicked off the team if I pulled, like, that stunt again, but --
Miranda: Damn it, Ace. I'm sorry. It's -- it's all my fault.
AJ: No, it's not, okay? And I'd do it again! I'd do it again for you.
Miranda: You're still up for starting pitcher, right?
AJ: Yeah, I am. Um... me and Rick.
AJ: We'll see.
Miranda: Well, um, I got to go, but I'll see you after last period?
Pete: Will you promise to remember that when we get back to Pine Valley and Evelyn starts in on you for ditching her -- will you just hold on to who you were when you were here, with me in this moment? Because in this moment, I really, really want to do something, and I don't want you to think about anything else.
Celia: Okay. What do you want to do?
Evelyn: Your ignorance in the face of this evidence is absolutely astounding! Your son is the troublemaker here, and he has no idea just how serious that trouble might be!
JR: Leaving already?
Cara: What are you doing here? I thought you had a board meeting to get to.
JR: I was uninvited. Seems I'm an ugly reminder of the company's darker days.
Cara: [Sighs] I'm sorry.
JR: God, if one more person says that or tells me to take some more time, I swear to -- You know, I guess a bullet to the head and five years of my life wasn't enough for them. You know, if David Hayward wasn't such a bad shot, I think everybody might be better off.
Cara: Okay. You know what? You got to cut the self-pity crap. It is so unattractive.
JR: Well, what am I supposed to do? Plot my revenge on everybody that keeps spitting on me?
Cara: That's a choice, or... You could set up some priorities, you know. Get your body back in shape, and then try to convince everybody that you are a changed man.
JR: Well, do you think I am... a changed man?
Cara: Look. I, um -- I told you before, I didn't really know you then. But I am all for second chances, and I believe that you are sincere in wanting one.
JR: Well, you're one of the few. I appreciate that. Okay, well... priorities it is. All right. First, body, and then business. Yeah? But you know what? Before either one, I've got to eat, so... Uh, look -- why don't I buy us lunch, and then, we'll jump into an afternoon session?
Angie: I'm sure Dixie wouldn't buy this "saved by the blood of Jesus" act any more than I do, not after you kidnapped and almost raped her!
Billy Clyde: In Philippians, Paul reminds us to let the past be in the past and --
Angie: Just stop spouting all those Bible verses at me, after all the hell that you put on the people of this town!
Billy Clyde: "Vengeance is mine," says the Lord.
Jesse: Come here.
Billy Clyde: Once in a while, judgment day comes before it's expected.
Ruby Marie: Your husband's a real peach.
Jesse: Our daughter is still out there somewhere in the hands of these perverts, and you have the nerve to take advantage of our grief to get me to shut down your competition?! I swear to God.
Billy Clyde: Well, I think, mayhap, the young lady said something and was not understood.
Jesse: You know what? Shut up. Until you have hard, cold proof about who took my daughter... you keep your ugly ass away from Pine Valley. I don't want to see you around here? Is that understood? Am I clear?
Billy Clyde: Crystally.
Uri: The daughter of the chief of police.
Vlad: I swear, her passport --
Uri: It does not matter now! She is liability. We have to get rid of her...immediately.
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