All My Children Transcript Tuesday 3/29/11
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Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele
Angie: Ok! Ok! What is this mystery gift?
Jesse: No. Come with me.
Angie: But can I have a hint?
Jesse: We're going back in time.
Angie: Ha ha!
Marissa: I can't believe that my car died. I just had it inspected.
J.R.: I didn't steal the spark plugs or anything. I swear.
Marissa: I believe you. What?
J.R.: I still can't believe you kicked the tire.
Marissa: Well, I was mad!
J.R.: What would you have done if I hadn't driven by?
Marissa: I don't know. I got lucky. Anyway, thanks for the ride.
J.R.: Yeah. It's really quiet around here. Is there anyone to help you out?
Marissa: I think I'll manage.
J.R.: At least let me help you upstairs.
Marissa: And put me to bed?
Colby: [Sings] The word is out all over town you've been messing around you walk in my door with the scent on your breath thinking I won't figure it out no more lies yeah, yeah, I'm tired of your thin alibis your words are tired you're a worthless liar, and I'm not listening no more lies no, no, no, no, no oh, yeah, ha! You're trying to be discreet while you're playing both sides of the street you take another lover undercover while you throw one over on me yeah, no more lies
Asher: Colby! Colby!
Asher: The walls -- they're shaking!
Colby: I know! That's the whole point! And I'm not listening no more lies no, no, no, no, no oh, yeah no, no, no more lies no more lies yeah oh!
Jack: I've missed you.
Erica: Thank you for coming.
Caleb: And I'm here because?
Erica: So we can talk, privately.
Caleb: Where's Jack?
Erica: Jack's not here.
Caleb: All this just for me?
Erica: For us.
J.R.: I'd hate to leave you downstairs here with a bum foot.
Marissa: I think I'll survive. I'll just walk it off.
J.R.: Ok. If you don't trust yourself alone in your bedroom with me --
Marissa: Oh, God, you are unbeliev -- you don't stop.
J.R.: You're just learning that about me?
Marissa: That's not always a good thing.
J.R.: It's not always a bad thing either.
Marissa: Is it really worth it?
Marissa: Me? Us? I mean, women throw themselves at you all the time.
Marissa: Oh, yes, they do. I've seen them. Waitresses write their numbers on the check before they give it to you.
J.R.: I'm not interested.
Marissa: No. Instead, you'd rather bang your head against the wall with me?
J.R.: Is that what I'm doing?
Marissa: Pretty much.
J.R.: All the banging with you means more to me than all the waitresses. That didn't exactly come out the way that I intended it to.
Marissa: Are you sure about that?
Marissa: Yeah? Um, I've got an early morning tomorrow, so --
J.R.: You want me gone?
J.R.: I got it. Ahem.
Marissa: And thank you for the ride.
J.R.: Yeah. Can I try to say what I really meant?
Marissa: How many lawyers does it take to get rid of one ex-husband?
J.R.: Just one. Hey. Oh, by the way, spring break is coming up. I was thinking about taking A.J. down at Disney World. You should come.
J.R.: What? We could get the Mickey ears and all that. It'll be great.
Marissa: Oh. Ahem. Hello? Yes, I will -- I see. I'll relay that to my client. Thank you. J.R., wait. I -- I really have to go see Bianca right now. Will you give me a ride?
J.R.: Let's go.
Colby: Ohh. Do you need ice or something?
Asher: No. I'm good.
Colby: I'm really, really sorry, Asher.
Asher: It's fine. So, um, what was all that about?
Colby: Oh. It's actually therapy. This girl -- she follows my blog. She sent me this song. She says it's really good for your anger after a breakup, so I thought I'd try it out.
Asher: Next time, I'll duck.
Colby: Ha! So, um, how does it feel to be up for auction?
Asher: You know about that?
Colby: Oh, yeah, I know about that. I volunteer at the hospital.
Colby: Yeah. So tell me who bought you.
Asher: I have no idea. No one's told me anything.
Colby: Oh. Maybe you got dumped. You could always, like, throw some punches or something.
Asher: I think I'd rather grab some food. Come on. Let's go raid the fridge.
Colby: I can't. I have a meeting with the I.T. boys down at Krystal's, so --
Asher: Right now?
Colby: Yep, right now. It's a part of my job.
Colby: But have fun with your sugar mama.
Asher: Heh heh! Will do.
Asher: Hello? Yeah, I'm ready. I could head over there right now. Hold on. Who exactly is my date? So I won't find out till I get there? No, no, I'm not scared at all.
Erica: Jim, straight up. It's your favorite, right?
Caleb: You want to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me, huh?
Erica: I want to get you to relax.
Caleb: Do I seem nervous?
Erica: Have a seat. The food will be out soon. I thought that if we had a great meal in a comfortable surrounding, that it would make it easier.
Caleb: "Make it easier"?
Erica: Caleb, I think that there have been some misunderstandings between us, and I'd like to address them and eliminate any confusion.
Caleb: I'm not confused. What about you?
Erica: Caleb, we are business partners, and so of course, we have spent a great deal of time together. And I think that that, coupled with our mutual devotion to Palmer, has created a bond between us.
Caleb: Oh, a bond? Is that what we have?
Erica: You have helped me with Kendall and you have confided in me. So I've tried to help you with Asher, your son, but that just -- it hasn't happened, and I think that that has left you with a lot of frustration.
Caleb: Ah. So I'm confused and frustrated.
Erica: Yes. I think that you have a lot of serious feelings about Asher, and I think that you've hit a roadblock with him. And so all of that emotion you've transferred on to me as if I'm the source of that, but that is simply not the case.
Caleb: That's your story and you're sticking to it.
Erica: Well, there's more.
Caleb: Well, there always is.
Erica: I'm getting married soon to Jack, and I think that has also left you with a great deal of anxiety.
Caleb: Anxious, confused, and frustrated -- sounds like a law firm.
Erica: I'm trying to be serious. I'm very flattered, Caleb, but I have to be very clear. What I feel for you does not, and never will, go beyond friendship.
Caleb: "Never" is a very long time.
Jack: I am so, so sorry.
Krystal: No, don't apologize. It was very dark out there.
Jack: I thought you were Erica.
Krystal: Obviously, yeah. What's with the lights?
Jack: There's a power outage on the dock. They're working on it. What are you doing all the way out here, anyway?
Krystal: Your briefs. The briefs that you wanted -- I brought them. They're organized just like you like them.
Jack: That's very thoughtful of you. Thanks.
Krystal: Sure. What are you doing here, anyway? Your assistant said you were working here. I thought you were gonna be out on the town. Didn't Erica fork out big bucks at that auction?
Jack: Yes, indeed, she did. We pushed our date back a couple of hours. She's with Caleb.
Jack: Yes, Caleb.
Krystal: As in "Caleb" Caleb?
Jack: Yeah. She's -- evidently, there's a little confusion on his part, so she's trying to straighten that out.
Krystal: Well. Glad to hear that.
Krystal: I guess I should get back to the restaurant.
Jack: Let me walk you to your car.
Krystal: No. I'm fine. No, no. Listen, I survived a trip to Africa with Erica. I think I can make my way to the parking lot.
Jack: Good for you. Thank you.
Krystal: Sure. Bye-bye. Aah!
Erica: Caleb, everything I said is true. You really need to accept it.
Caleb: Mixed messages are why I can't accept it. It's a good speech, though.
Erica: So you refuse to listen?
Caleb: I am listening. So what else?
Erica: Why are you doing this?
Caleb: Why am I doing what? You invited me here. You told me what's on your mind, and I'm telling you what I feel. Uh-oh. Did you hear that? I'm talking about my feelings. For 20 years I have shut myself off from the world, so I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings. And now here I am. I am not confused. I am not anxious. I am frustrated, but it's got nothing to do with my son. It's you.
Erica: Caleb, my plane crashed into your house. It was a coincidence.
Caleb: A coincidence? Coincidence, fate -- call it whatever you want, but it is what it is, and nothing has been the same since for either one of us. Dorothy, aliens could've landed on my front porch, and I wouldn't have batted an eye. Heh! But you crash into my mountain. You destroy my home. You scare my dog off. You start bossing me around, telling me to carry your luggage for you. And look where I am. Look where I am. I'm changed because of you. It's real. It's not going away.
Erica: Caleb, you have to stop this right now.
Caleb: You want me to stop because what I'm feeling, you're feeling, too.
Krystal: Oh, I am such a klutz! Ohh!
Jack: Listen, to be a little easier on yourself, I've misjudged that step myself before.
Krystal: Look at you. You are soaked to the bone. I am so sorry.
Jack: I always wanted to be a member of the Polar Bear Club, and now I am.
Krystal: Ha ha ha! And those dock workers -- all of you jumping in to pull me out. Thank you.
Jack: Yeah, I wouldn't feel too bad for those dock workers, though. Did you see the look on their face when they got you out? It wasn't torture for them. You got to be cold. Here.
Krystal: I'm all right.
Jack: No, no, no. Put this on.
Krystal: Oh, Jack, no.
Jack: Listen to me. You are not going to get hypothermia on my watch. Now go. Get those clothes off.
Angie: Where are we? You're bringing me to a hotel.
Jesse: Ha ha! Watch it. Stand right here. Be right back. Here is a clue.
Angie: Daffodils. Jesse, are we back at the house where we got married, twice?
Jesse: Bingo, bingo!
Angie: Baby, this is such a beautiful idea.
Jesse: Yeah. Things are gonna change, get pretty hectic with us, but things aren't gonna change with us. Right?
Angie: How do you know?
Jesse: Because -- the vows we took here both times, we still mean them. And the love we felt for each other here is stronger than ever.
Angie: Me, too. But, you know, it seems different somehow. It's cold in here, and there's an echo.
Angie: Is this place empty?
Jesse: Yeah. It's in foreclosure, unfortunately. I had to pull some strings to get us in here.
Angie: Oh, Jesse, that's sad.
Jesse: No, it's not sad, baby. Come on. We gonna bring this place back to life. Hmm?
Bianca: You talked to Reese's lawyer?
J.R.: Would you like me to leave? I'm her chauffeur for the night.
Bianca: No. That's ok. You had to do this in person?
Bianca: That must mean it's important.
Marissa: It is. I came here to ask for permission.
Bianca: Permission for what?
Marissa: Permission to take the gloves off.
Jesse: This is where we stood when we first took our vows.
Angie: I was so nervous.
Jesse: What else do you remember?
Jesse: Tell me.
Angie: I had just bought that shirt. It was my something new and something blue. And I was wearing my hair in braids. I had them pulled up with this pink ribbon.
Jesse: Yeah. And I remember the justice's wife.
Jesse: What the hell was she wearing, some old-lady getup?
Angie: Jesse, she was sweet.
Jesse: And the justice -- he was no joke, huh?
Angie: Yeah, Fred was so worried that we weren't serious. Remember he wanted to give us some time to be sure?
Fred's voice: The step you're about to take is a very serious one.
Jesse: Yeah, we know that.
Fred: You're both very young. I trust you've thought this over carefully?
Jesse: Yeah, we thought it over real carefully. Right?
Fred: All the same, I want to give you a few minutes before we go through with the ceremony.
Jesse: We don't need another few minutes because we're sure now.
Maude: What about you, dear?
Jesse: Then they turned it on you.
Fred: If you have any doubts, now is the time to speak.
Angie: Yes. Yes, I'm sure I want to marry him, more than anything.
Jesse: Think you made the right choice?
Angie: The best choice I ever made. You were so handsome, and I can still remember that green-gray shirt.
Jesse: I can still remember my heart racing a mile a minute.
Angie: I couldn't tell --
Angie: Even though your arm was so tight around me, it felt like you were squeezing the life out of me.
Jesse: I was clamped down so hard, all I could do was nod, right?
Angie: But then you put your mother's ring on my finger.
Jesse: With this ring, I thee wed -- I couldn't even repeat the damn vows.
Fred: I thee endow.
Jesse: And with all my -- my what?
Fred: Worldly goods, I thee endow.
Jesse: With all my worldly goods, I thee endow. Wow. What did I know from worldly goods? The only thing of value I had, I was about to marry.
Angie: Oh, baby, that's so sweet. Ohh.
Jesse: Hey, hey. What is it? You ok?
Angie: I think that was a contraction.
Asher: Where's the I.T. guy?
Colby: He never showed up.
Asher: May I?
Colby: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Asher: Ohh. I'm starving. Can we share some cheese fries or something?
Colby: Yeah. Sure. I'm actually kind of hungry after all that screaming I did.
Asher: That was some pretty good screaming. Seriously, you should front a band.
Colby: No. I don't think so. No.
Asher: Come on. You could call it "The Lungs."
Colby: Definitely not.
Asher: Ha ha ha! All right. How about "Punch"? Because then when you get famous, I can brag to all my friends that I was the inspiration to Colby Chandler's band.
Colby: You know that song that I was listening to earlier? I really understood what the singer meant. Even the girl that sent me the song, it was like the words connected us. I felt we were all -- I sound like the biggest dork right now. Huh!
Asher: You are a dork. Just kidding. But I get it. Your words connect people, too.
Colby: Well, I'm really happy you're here.
Asher: It's not like I have a choice.
Colby: What is that supposed to mean?
Asher: Come on, Colby. You have a meeting with the I.T. people?
Colby: You think I'm here for no reason?
Asher: You're here for our date. You're the one that bought me.
Erica: You're trying to ruin my life.
Caleb: Why would I want to ruin your life?
Erica: Look, I have a date with Jack later, and I made a mistake of postponing it for this.
Caleb: Seems to be a pattern, doesn't it? You make plans with him, you end up with me.
Erica: I have a life. I have a rich, wonderful life. I don't need another business to run. I don't need another hand to hold. Look, for the last time, I love Jack. I'm gonna marry Jackson. So you have to give up this fantasy.
Caleb: It's not a fantasy. I've waited a long time to feel alive again. I can wait for you.
Erica: You want to wait? Wait. But you'll only be wasting the next half of your life, while I will be blissfully happy with the man I love.
Caleb: I'm sure things will be fine for a while. But -- some night you're gonna be lying in bed looking up at the ceiling. And some morning you're gonna look in the mirror, and you're gonna say to yourself, "What have I done?" You call me.
Asher: Cara Castillo called me from the hospital. She told me to come here for my date, so I'm here.
Colby: Yeah, right after I told you I was going to Krystal's to meet the I.T. guy. You're very full of it, Mr. Asher.
Asher: I swear.
Colby: And I swear that I did not bid on you. I mean, what is all of this?
Asher: Well, someone tried to set us up.
Asher: Don't worry. I'll handle it. But since we're here, might as well roll with it, right? We could grab a couple burgers, maybe hit a movie up after this?
Colby: Um, no. I don't --
Colby: I just -- I really -- I have to go.
Asher: Have I done something wrong?
Colby: You're just not Damon.
Jesse: How you doing?
Angie: Much better. Whatever it was, it seems to have passed.
Jesse: We're not taking any chances. I'm calling a doctor.
Angie: Jesse, I'm ok.
Jesse: Baby, you just had a contraction.
Jesse: "Maybe" is good enough for me. We're taking you to the hospital, getting you checked out. Damn it!
Angie: What is it?
Jesse: No service out here in the middle of nowhere, naturally.
Angie: It's all right.
Jesse: You know what? We're gonna call on the way.
Angie: Wait a minute, Jesse. Listen. My water didn't break. I'm not in pain. If this was a contraction, then the baby's not gonna come right away.
Jesse: But she is coming, right?
Angie: Look, labor could go on for a while. Half the time we send women back home, and I don't want to sit at a hospital all night.
Jesse: It couldn't hurt to give the doctor a little heads-up.
Angie: All right, baby, listen. Why don't we just wait, and if another one comes, then we'll deal with it. Baby, take some deep breaths.
Jesse: Wait a minute. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be telling you?
Angie: No. You're supposed to be taking me for your wedded wife.
Jesse: We ain't got time for all that! Baby, we're having a baby! We're having a baby.
Angie: Listen, I know what labor is, ok, and I am not ready to go. Now repeat after me: "I, Jesse, take you, Angela, to be my wife."
Marissa: Just when I thought Reese's lawyer couldn't get any lower --
Bianca: What did he do?
Marissa: He's pulling out the big guns. He's attacking your character and your family, digging up tabloid stories about your mother.
J.R.: Yeah, these things get ugly fast.
Bianca: What are you asking to do?
Marissa: I'm asking to fight back. I've got plenty of ammo myself. I can use Reese's history to prove that she's an unfit parent.
Bianca: But she's not an unfit parent.
Marissa: She went after your sister's husband, kissed him the night before your wedding. Sorry, but stuff like that just does not play well in court, or help your career.
Bianca: No. No. Escalating the fight -- I think that's wrong.
J.R.: Things have already escalated. Let Marissa defend you.
Bianca: Last person I want to hear from on this subject.
Marissa: Ok, look. I don't like this any more than you do, but, look, you are vulnerable here. Your children are vulnerable. Reese sent her lawyer here to take your girls back to Paris with her. She ambushed you, but we stopped it. I can win this for you, and I can protect your children, but you have to let me.
J.R.: You got yourself a damn good lawyer.
Bianca: Do what you have to do.
Jack: Of course, I guess if I had walked you to your car, we both would've been wet anyway.
Krystal: I know! I don't know what happened! I just walked out there, and then just -- splash!
Jack: I think you probably hit the cleat on the dock there, but I'm sure it was a very graceful splash.
Krystal: Really? No, I -- it was more like a belly flop, but it was a 10! It was a 10.
Erica: What's going on here?
Jack: Hey, sweetheart.
Krystal: Oh, hi. I came by to see Jack, and I fell head over heels. Right?
Marissa: I am gonna make a couple of calls. It is time to be a killer.
Bianca: Do I want to know?
Marissa: Just trust me.
Bianca: I do. But there's just one thing.
Marissa: What's that?
Bianca: That's not really the face of a killer.
Marissa: Oh. Grr! How's that?
Bianca: It's better.
J.R.: You're terrifying. Ahem. You know, Babe would be happy that you guys are becoming friends.
Bianca: What do you want, J.R.?
Bianca: You only pull out the Babe card when you want something.
J.R.: I want Marissa to trust me again. I want to put my family back together.
Bianca: Me convincing someone to trust you -- that's a lot to ask.
J.R.: I know. But when it comes down to it, we want the same thing. We want our kids happy. I can help you with that. Marissa helps you watch your girls, you help her watch A.J.
Bianca: And you suck Marissa back in?
J.R.: Look, being sucked into a happy family situation -- that's such a bad thing? I got to get home. I got to check on A.J.
Bianca: I'll give you a ride.
J.R.: Great. I'll get the check.
Marissa: Thanks. Did he just say something to you? I got a weird vibe.
Bianca: He wants you to trust him.
Marissa: He won't give up.
Bianca: Do you really want him to?
Angie: I haven't felt anything for almost a half-hour. Must've been a false alarm.
Jesse: Wow. Think how far we've come since the first time we walked into this place, huh?
Angie: Promise me that we'll never go too far, because I like where we are right here.
Jesse: I tell you what. We will continue to come back to this very spot to repeat our vows, even if they turn this place into a strip mall. How's that?
Angie: That was definitely a contraction. Jesse, this could be it.
Caleb: How's it going?
Asher: Do you mean how was my date?
Caleb: You had a date?
Asher: Come on, don't play dumb. What was I even thinking, talking to you about Colby?
Caleb: Colby? Where is she?
Asher: Gone. Took off after I found out that you tried to set us up.
Caleb: I don't know what you're talking about.
Asher: I'm talking about you trying to control my life.
Caleb: Oh, come on. Please. I'm not trying to control you or anybody else.
Jack: It was a bit harrowing, but between the dock workers and myself, we managed to get Krystal back on dry land.
Krystal: Yeah, and into some dry clothes. Thank you.
Erica: How lucky the fleet was in.
Krystal: I guess I better hit the road.
Erica: Well, you still haven't mentioned what brought you by to see Jack.
Krystal: Well, I came by to give him some papers that he needed and to thank him for helping me out with something.
Jack: Hey, that's a client of mine. I need to take this. Excuse me. Hello?
Erica: So you came here on business?
Krystal: Yeah. Jack needed some briefs.
Erica: Ha! Yeah, men and their briefs -- you should know.
Krystal: Ha ha! You know me, Erica. I just always try to be nice.
Erica: I think you made up an excuse to see my fiancÚ. He didn't bite, so you threw yourself overboard.
Krystal: I slipped.
Erica: Right out of your skirt.
Krystal: You have a lot of nerve throwing around accusations, considering what you're doing with Caleb.
Erica: Caleb and I are business partners, nothing more.
Krystal: Anyone with eyeballs knows that's not true.
Erica: No, you've convinced yourself that I'm going after Caleb, so you can try to get your claws into Jack.
Krystal: You are way off base!
Erica: No, I'm not. Here you are, half naked, reeking of desperation -- and seaweed.
Krystal: You know what? You can just think what you want.
Erica: I think on your way out, you need to grab a hairbrush and what scraps of your dignity you can find.
Krystal: I'm not gonna do this.
Erica: I know the little theory you have cooked up in that very airhead of yours. You think that if you wait long enough, eventually I'll break up with Jack. Well, you are just wasting your time. Adios. Ohh!
Marissa: I want to be a good mother to my son.
Bianca: What do you want for yourself?
Marissa: A big piece of chocolate cake?
Bianca: Yeah, me, too, but let's think bigger picture.
Marissa: I honestly don't know. I haven't stopped long enough to figure it out. But I think I just did. I want time to myself, without the distraction of a relationship.
Bianca: I hear that.
Marissa: Yeah. I am so sick of people -- of waiting around for people to change so that I can move on with my life: My father, and then J.R. You put your faith in them --
Bianca: And then it's out of your control. I keep doing that, too. I keep building up these huge, like, probably unrealistic expectations, and then --
Marissa: Right. Right. So we have to un-pfft. Ha ha ha!
Bianca: Are you scared, though, of starting over?
Marissa: Yeah. Yeah, I am a little bit, but we have to try.
Bianca: The split with Reese is gonna be really tough on the girls. But maybe if they see me cool and strong and ok, maybe that'll be good for them.
Marissa: Yeah. And we can help each other through it.
Bianca: So if I randomly propose to some woman, you'll stop me?
Marissa: Yeah. Only if you stop me from randomly proposing to some guy -- or even worse, moving back in with J.R.
Bianca: Deal. Thank you for taking my case and helping me hold on to my girls.
Marissa: Just doing my job.
Bianca: You're more than just a good lawyer. You're a really good friend. Now, where is that chocolate cake?
J.R.: What are you doing, buddy?
A.J.: I miss Mommy.
J.R.: So do I. But she's gonna come back, and we're gonna be a family again -- you, me, and Mommy. And that's a promise, my friend.
Colby: Before I sign off, "Sucky in Seattle," I got your e-mail, and that totally, totally, totally, totally sucks. But you know that, and we all know that. Every single one of us has been on the other side of a breakup, so, guys, what do we do? Do we cry? Do we scream? Do we throw things? Well, we could do that, but it will only help for a few minutes. Because when you've been hurt the way that we have, the pain -- it never really goes away. So protect yourself and protect your heart, and there's only one way to do that. Lock it up for good, because whoever he or she is, it's just not worth the risk.
Caleb: You might find this hard to believe, but matchmaking is not my thing.
Asher: Yeah. Whatever.
Caleb: Hey, I'm sorry you had a bad night, but it's not my fault.
Asher: I shouldn't have went off on you like that.
Caleb: Thank you. So how was the date?
Asher: It lasted five minutes, but it was good. Actually, really good.
Jack: Erica, you know there's nothing going on between Krystal and me. So I can only assume that Caleb did something to upset you?
Erica: I don't want to talk about Caleb, or Krystal. I want to get married, tonight.
Jesse: We're gonna be at the hospital in no time, ok?
Angie: Baby, it still could be a while before the baby comes. Ohh, my back!
Jesse: What? What? Is it another contraction? Baby, what is it?
Angie: I don't know. Oh, God. Jesse, something is wrong! Aah!
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