AMC Transcript Tuesday 6/29/10

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 6/29/10


Episode #10405

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Jackson: [On the phone] God only knows what's in this box, but Palmer's instructions were very specific. I wasn't even so much as to look at the will before the reading.

Krystal: If Erica can carry that box through a plane crash and the hills of West Virginia without taking a peek, I think you can wait a few more minutes.

Jackson: You're absolutely right. All right, listen, you. I'll see you soon?

Krystal: Bye, Jackson.

Jackson: Bye. Palmer, Palmer, Palmer. You always did have to have the last word.

[Erica dreaming that she hugs Caleb]

Caleb: Hello, Dorothy.

Erica: Caleb. [Gasps]

Bianca: Good morning.

Erica: Good morning. How long have you been here?

Bianca: Let's talk about Caleb and why you're whispering his name in your sleep.

Scott: This can't be good.

Annie: What is it?

Scott: From Jackson Montgomery. I've been summoned to the reading of Palmer's will.

Annie: Oh. Ok, well, maybe that's not a bad thing.

Scott: No. No, unless he wrote something about the nanotech project I stole from him. Why else would he request that I be at the reading?

Annie: Well, you two were close at the end. Maybe he left you some cuff links. Ok, or worst case scenario, if he does mention the nanotech project, you cover. You say that Palmer was delusional at the end.

Scott: It won't work, Annie. If that project is in his will, I lose everything.

Annie: No. That won't happen because I will be there to back you up.

J.R.: We want those contracts signed by today or the deal's off. Sorry about that. Couldn't wait.

Marissa: Your Uncle Palmer's will reading is today. You said you'd focus on family. No business. No distractions. Remember?

J.R.: From now on, just family today. I promise. It's crazy -- how time changes everything. Palmer Cortlandt and Adam Chandler were two mega forces in this town. Now Uncle Palmer's gone. My father's off living the easy life with Brooke. Uncle Stuart's dead. My mother's gone. The Cooneys will be all but forgotten. All the battles and the power and the drama -- just something -- legends of the past.

Marissa: Well, maybe it's good to have all those battles be in the past. From what I've heard, the Chandlers and the Cortlandts did a lot of damage to each other.

J.R.: Those battles made my father. He created this company. It's who we are.

Krystal: You look lovely.

Opal: Oh. Well. Palmer always liked me in white. What do you think? Hat or no hat?

Krystal: Um -- no hat.

Opal: All right. I just want to look my best for him today.

Krystal: You do.

Opal: So strange -- I was just dreaming about him all night long. I kept hearing his voice just as loud and clear as if he was standing right next to the bed.

Krystal: What did he say?

Opal: He said, "I'm coming back."

Bianca: So this Caleb guy -- you were dreaming about him. What's up with that?

Erica: Oh, more like a nightmare. I mean, no electricity, no running water, no heat except for a fireplace, and I had to chop the wood.

Bianca: You chopped wood? You mean like kindling? Twigs?

Erica: No, I mean, like, big tree-trunk-sized logs.

Bianca: I'm trying to picture it.

Erica: Well, when you get that image, would you please picture me chic and sporty and clean?

Bianca: Ha. There's the mother I know and love. Ha.

Erica: Well, I mean, just because I don't like to rough it doesn't mean that I can't. I even hauled water from the river, and I actually had to fight to sleep on the couch.

Bianca: So this Caleb guy, he made you fight for your rescue. I want to hear more about him.

Erica: You know, I really want to focus on the present, honey. I mean, I'm being released today. I get to go back to my real life.

Bianca: Are you changing the subject?

Erica: Of course not. Caleb was just one of those grumpy loner types. He thinks he's right about everything and everybody else is wrong.

Bianca: That must have been interesting.

Erica: Just arrogant. The pounding on his chest all the time, judging everybody else -- as if it takes courage to running away from real life. I mean, nothing to respect there.

Bianca: So -- that was it?

Erica: Yeah. That was it. All ready.

Bianca: Yeah, I have a flight back to Paris after Palmer's will is read.

Erica: Well, I certainly know how much you -- you miss your two beautiful, little girls and -- and Reese.

Bianca: That loose tooth of Miranda's -- I think I might have a date with the tooth fairy. But if there was a wedding in the immediate future -- have you set a date?

Erica: Oh, well, Jack, I mean, Jack is so impatient. He'd get married today if we could.

Bianca: And you?

Erica: Coming back to the mess at Fusion and after what David and greenlee did -- I feel like I need a moment or two just to decompress a bit.

Bianca: Well, now that David's confessed to setting you up for embezzlement, you can relax. The hard part's over.

Erica: I can relax and enjoy every moment of the engagement.

Caleb: "This to inform you -- that your refusal of Erica Kane's offer to compensate you for the loss of your home absolves Ms. Kane of any and all responsibility insofar as the damage to your house, property, and personal effects are concerned. Sincerely, Jackson Montgomery." Blah, blah, blah. You're absolved, Ms. Kane. [Crumbles paper and throws it into his fireplace]

Krystal: I don't want to intrude. I just thought Jack might be here.

Erica: Uh, no, Jack already at the club. We're on our way over there now.

Krystal: Um, would you mind letting us have a word?

Bianca: I'll -- I'll bring the car around to the front.

Erica: Ok.

Krystal: Thank you. [Sighs]

Erica: Well, what's this about?

Krystal: Well, first of all, you're looking well.

Erica: Thank you. I'm feeling even better.

Krystal: Good. I was, um -- I was with Jack when he went searching for you.

Erica: I know you were. How could I forget?

Krystal: Yeah, well, I mean, before we found you -- Jack and I spent a lot of time in those woods. He had that ring with him the whole time. He was so afraid. As afraid as he was for you, he wouldn't give up until you heard his proposal to become his wife.

Erica: And I did hear it, and I will become his wife. So if there's nothing else --

Krystal: We were in the middle of nowhere. We didn't know if we would ever find you. But Jack's love for you is just so -- so pure and so bright that I really believe that it led us to you. [Sighs] He is putting his whole heart on the line for you.

Erica: And my heart's on the line for him. I hope you're not presuming to know my fiancÚ better than I do.

Krystal: No. No, of course not.

Erica: Because no one's closer to Jack than I am. No one understands him better than I do. And our life together, our future will be perfect.

Krystal: I'm glad to hear that. I really am, because I mean, I would really hate for you to go through with this wedding if you're not 100%. I really don't think Jack could take losing you again.

Erica: Well, Jack's not going to lose me. Because I have never been so sure of anything in my life. Look, just so we're clear -- you may straighten Jack's files and straighten Jack's books, but I tie his ties. And whatever happens outside that office is really none of your business.

J.R.: What do you wear to a will reading, anyway?

Marissa: I don't know. Definitely not this. I'll be right back.

J.R.: Do you want me to get one of the maids to move your stuff into our room? You said you were ready.

Marissa: Yeah, I'll get to it.

J.R.: All right. Where are you going?

Annie: The reading of Palmer's will.

Marissa: You're invited?

Scott: No. I was.

J.R.: So you're taking a date to a will reading?

Annie: I'm going for moral support. Too much?

Marissa: Definitely.

Annie: Then it's perfect.

Marissa: I'll be right back.

J.R.: Why were you invited to Uncle Palmer's will reading?

Annie: Scott spent a lot of time with Palmer before he died.

J.R.: Why were you meeting with him at all? Was it business?

Annie: Do you know Palmer had become delusional?

J.R.: Well, you're the expert on that. But how would you know?

Annie: Scott told me. Isn't that right, Scott?

Scott: Palmer wasn't always on top of his game.

J.R.: That's funny, because Jake was his physician and he never mentioned it.

Annie: Anyone can seem with it when they're talking about the weather. When it came to business, Palmer kind of started not making sense. It was really sad, wasn't it? Yeah. But Scott's such a nice person, he wanted to, you know, spend time with him. Isn't that correct? You softie.

Scott: It's in the past.

Annie: Yes. That's right. I know, you're so nice you don't like talking ill will about the dead.

J.R.: But you do.

[Cell phone rings]

Scott: It's the office. Pardon me. Yeah, Jerry, hi. Where are we on the nanotech release?

J.R.: You don't belong at the will reading.

Annie: Don't worry. I won't slap you again, at least not in public.

J.R.: You got a pass on that. So let's forget it.

Annie: What are you gonna do -- try to slap me back? Or try to kiss me again?

J.R.: What happened in the park was a mistake. It's not gonna happen again. I was thinking about a friend of mine who died, how he's never gonna see his son. And that hit me hard.

Annie: And you came to me. You reached out to me like a real person.

J.R.: And that's never gonna happen again, either.

Opal: [Sighs] I just wish Petey could've gotten here after all, but -- I didn't expect to be the first. Is the family coming?

Jackson: Well, Palmer wrote letters to a lot of them, you know -- Daisy, Nina, Bobby, Michael, Ross, Laney -- with bequests. And like Petey's, they've already gotten to those folks. Now, this reading of Palmer's will here, this was specifically for the good people of Pine Valley.

Opal: I can feel his mischief already.

Jackson: I think you're probably right.

Opal: Oh! Oh --

Krystal: Sorry. Sorry. Oh, I didn't mean to scare you.

Opal: That's all right.

Krystal: Uh, the thing that I checked on is -- is all good.

Jackson: Oh, good. Good, good. I was afraid the thing wouldn't be ready.

Opal: What thing? What wouldn't be ready on time? What are you talking about?

Jackson: Go ahead. Please.

Krystal: Uh, well, I didn't want to say anything until I was sure that it was done, but -- well, Palmer was such a force in this town that Jackson and I decided to honor him. We had a memorial commissioned.

Opal: Of -- of Palmer?

Krystal: Yeah.

Opal: Of Palmer.

Annie: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Scott: What happened to all that moral support you were gonna give me?

Annie: You still have it. But maybe it's better if I gave you moral support from a distance. I'm not exactly everybody's favorite party crasher. And I don't want to make things worse for you.

Scott: Yeah. Ok. Ok. Ah, I'll tell you what -- you wait here. I'll go check with Jackson and if it's ok with him, I'll text you, and you can join me, ok? Mwah.

Annie: That's why I love you so much. You have a solution for everything.

Scott: Yeah.

Annie: Hey. Everything's going to work out just fine.


Annie: [Sighs] I know you're supposed to tiptoe around the dead and be respectful and all, so I'm gonna say this as nicely as can. You better not have done something to screw things up for Scott.

Marissa: Talking to yourself? That's not a good sign, especially for you with your history.

J.R.: Tell me this means you got smart and left Annie at home.

Scott: Nope. She's on her way.

J.R.: You're making a mistake.

Scott: Leave Annie alone, will ya?

J.R.: I mean Chandler Enterprises.

Scott: Can't this wait?

J.R: I just spoke to our accounting people. Apparently, you're investing every cent of Chandler money into that nanotech project. What if you're wrong, Scott? What if it's not viable?

Scott: It's going to revolutionize the way people live.

J.R.: And if it doesn't?

Scott: Ok. I appreciate your input, but as majority shareholder, I am quite comfortable with the decisions I have made, so I suggest you shut up and get onboard.

J.R.: While you tank the family company.

Scott: You know the nanotech project is gold, and the only reason you're against it is because it's my idea.

J.R.: That revolutionary heart valve was your idea, too. But it nearly killed Kendall's son. So I have plenty of reasons to worry what surprise disaster is about to hit when you're involved.

Annie: What are you doing here?

Marissa: What do you think I'm doing here? I just dropped A.J. off at a play date.

Annie: How is he doing? Bee stings can be nasty.

Marissa: You know about that?

Annie: I was with J.R. when you called. Oh, there goes your mind, spinning the worst possible conclusion. You have to stop being so paranoid. I am not trying to steal your husband.

Marissa: Oh, no, you're too busy using Scott.

Annie: I'm not using Scott.

Marissa: What, you love him like you loved Adam? Who couldn't wait to dump you for Brooke. And and look, here you are. You're still playing the lady of the house, inviting yourself to a private event that no one wants you at.

Annie: Scott wants me there, and that's good enough for me.

Marissa: The way you lead me on, hanging all over him, pretending like you even give a damn.

Annie: I do give a damn.

Marissa: You are so transparent, you know that? You want money, status, a nice house, so you just jump into the next available bed. You don't really care who it is, if it's J.R. or Adam or Scott, as long as it gets you what you want, right?

Annie: You can't stand the fact that men want me, can you?

Annie: You throw yourself at them.

Annie: Is that what you've convinced yourself? I hate to be the one to break it to you, but J.R. Came on to me. J.R. Kissed me. He started it.

Marissa: Yeah, to show his father the kind of woman that you really are.

Annie: And then what? Then he just got carried away? No. It is so much easier for you to put the hate on me, but really, you're just not being honest with yourself. When the reality is the real person to blame for J.R. sleeping with me is you. If you weren't such a boring little mouse, J.R. never would've had sex with me. I can understand why you feel threatened. Pink flannel wife or hot, sexy, and exciting?

Marissa: What is so exciting about you? The way you lie and cheat? Is it sexy to be with a woman who murders, or who kidnaps her own child? Yeah, sex with a crazy person might be kind of fun, but in the end, that's all it is -- sex. Just ask Adam. He left you for a better woman the first chance he got, and Scott's gonna do the exact same thing as soon as he realizes that you'll just bring him down.

Annie: That won't happen. And don't underestimate sex. People can talk about wanting to marry their best friend. Well, what if that best friend isn't good in the sack, there is no chance at wedded bliss. I should know -- it happened with Adam. The second he stopped sleeping with me, I knew we were done.

Marissa: Oh, so you slept with my husband to save your marriage?

Annie: And you're not sleeping with him to save yours. Tell me, how is that working out for you?

Marissa: Stay out of our marriage.

Annie: You are the one who is playing games here. What you're doing to J.R. -- withholding sex from him until he can prove something to you? Prove that he's a loyal, faithful, obedient husband? Prove that he is worthy of you, worthy of your extra-special pink flannel love. He is not a dog. He is a man. He's a sexy, passionate, amazing man. So you know what? Continue carpooling to all of your play dates, but you will never be a match for him.

[Cell phone ringing]

Annie: Oh, look at that. I've been invited to the reading. Excuse me.

Marissa: Oh, another one of your lies?

Annie: Really, Marissa, get a life.

Marissa: Let me see it.

Annie: Get off me!

Marissa: I want to read it.

Annie: Get off my -- oh! Oh!

[Palmer's plaque falls and breaks]

Marissa: [Gasps] Look what you've done.

Annie: Me? You started this.

Marissa: Oh, my God. We've gotta fix this.

Annie: Oh, my God, we have to get out of here before somebody sees us.

Marissa: Oh, that is so you. The man died. What have you got? Glue? Gum?

Annie: It's hopeless.

Marissa: We can't just leave it like that.

Annie: Fine. Uh -- oh. Oh. Nail glue. No, I'll do it.

J.R.: That you're in control of a company the size of Chandler Enterprises with no previous business experience is laughable.

Scott: You were born to it, so you're the better choice?

J.R.: Yes.

Scott: Except you messed up so many times. Not just the company but your marriage, your father's marriage.

J.R.: Maybe I've made mistakes, but -- you're still making them.

Scott: The nanotech project isn't a mistake.

J.R: But Annie sure the hell is.

Bianca: I'm gonna go say hi to J.R. and Scott.

Erica: Ok. Or send them to their corners.

J.R.: You need to get rid of Annie.

Scott: Why don't you focus on what's left of your marriage?

Bianca: I didn't expect to see you here.

Scott: Mwah. Good to see you.

J.R.: You're not the only one.

Krystal: Listen, about what I said earlier --

Erica: Incredibly presumptuous, completely out of line, but you made me think. What were you doing up on that mountain with Jack at all?

Krystal: Helping him.

Erica: Comforting him?

Krystal: As a friend.

Erica: You've been alone a long time, Krystal. Made a mess of your marriage to Tad. David. It's only natural that -- you'd reach out. You're lonely. You'd reach out even to a man who is in love with someone else.

Krystal: Jackson and I are strictly friends.

Erica: Well, of course, you are. You're his employee. And you're not his type.

Marissa: Since you're here, try not to embarrass Scott.

Annie: I have just as much of a right to be here as you do

J.R.: Hi.

Scott: Something we ought to know about?

Annie: Absolutely not.

Marissa: No, it's just Annie being Annie.

Annie: What's that supposed to mean?

J.R.: I think it's pretty obvious.

Erica: I just don't know how you find the time to serve up all those grits and get so involved in Jack's business.

Krystal: Trust me, I can serve up more than just grits, Erica.

Erica: Well, remind me not to ask you about your specials next time I'm in.

Bianca: This is Palmer's day.

J.R.: Exactly. So let's clear everyone out of here who didn't mean anything to him.

Scott: Get off Annie's case.

Marissa: Get off J.R.'s case.

[Violin playing]

Jackson: Ahem. Folks, take a seat and we'll get started.

Opal: Oh, I can't believe it. That old coot even organized the music. This was one of Palmer's favorites. Always brought a smile to his face.

J.R.: So everything ok?

Marissa: Yeah. I'm fine.

Scott: Now you want to tell me what happened? Hmm?

Annie: Let's just say Marissa has an evil side. The quiet ones always do.

Jackson: Thank you all for honoring Palmer's memory by being present at the reading of -- presumably, his last will and testament. Per his request, this newest version of the will will be read now for the very first time. If I could have that box, please. In Palmer's words. "Welcome to my swan song. I'm sure you want to get back to being at each other's throats, but for now the floor is mine. I know each and every one of you in this room -- your strengths, your weaknesses, your secrets. I may be gone, but you'll feel my presence for years to come, because I plan to bring big change to Pine Valley and to each one of your lives." Those residing outside of Pine Valley will be receiving private letters from me regarding their inheritances. To my son Peter, I leave my lasting love and faith and pride and a trust to fund his dreams. To my dear, cherished Opal. Yes, woman, I'm talking about you." Those are -- those are Palmer's words, not mine.

Opal: Keep reading. Keep reading.

Jackson: "I didn't always make your life easy, but hopefully the money I've left you will make the rest of your days far easier. I found a sign a while back from the Glamorama, which I've arranged to have delivered to you. "Don't forget your roots."


Jackson: "You made me realize the importance of honoring those roots. And my last wishes will continue to do so because even though I spent most of my life avoiding the past, it's remembering where we've come from that gives us strength." Oh, uh -- Palmer wanted you to have this as well.

Opal: Oh, my. [Reading a note] Opal: I was right. He wanted me back.

Women: Aww.

Opal: He was gonna propose again, that old rascal.

[Erica and Opal laugh]

Opal: Oh, my goodness. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. My engagement ring.

Erica: Oh, isn't that incredible?

Opal: We had a terrible fight the last fight. I -- I took it off, I threw it in here. Guess you really were mine, huh? And I really am yours. Ahh! [Hugs Erica]

Jackson: "To my darling Bianca, I was proud to help launch your sister Kendall's business. I was just as proud to be a part of the lives of her children and yours. That's why I leave you the puppets -- from the puppet shows I put on for Miranda. So that your children and their children will always remember their Uncle Palmer. And so you'll always remember that through our children, we see the best of ourselves. Whatever wealth I made -- and lost -- and made again, my children are my real treasure, the legacy that matters most." Palmer -- left this for you.

Bianca: He says even though you're Erica Kane, you're my mother first. And I should never forget that you need me -- even though you'll never admit it. Maybe I rushed it a bit about flying back home today. Maybe I should make it a round trip and bring the girls over for a visit.

Erica: You would do that?

Bianca: How would you like someone to help plan your wedding?

Erica: Oh -- I think Palmer would like that. So would I.

Jackson: "I hope the next generation of Chandlers and Cortlandts will be wiser than in my day. Our feuds and never-ending hostility left nothing but destruction in their wake. I hope that in some small way, the actions I've taken will help make that change happen. To J.R., my beloved Dixie's son, you've had scant communication from me over the years due to the animosity between your father and myself, yet never did that enmity lessen my affection for my beloved niece -- your mother Dixie. When financial reversals befell your father years ago, leaving Chandler Enterprises in ruins, despite the bad blood between us, I agreed to finance the Chandler recovery with one requirement: Dixie was to be given a few shares of the company. When told of this, your precious mother refused to accept them. I actually forgot about their existence. I'm sure your father has by now, too. I am turning the shares over to you to do as you see fit. Never forget -- whatever Chandler is in you, there's Cooney as well." Here you go, J.R.

J.R.: Thank you.

Jackson: Uh-huh.

J.R.: Well, aren't you gonna congratulate me? We're 50/50 partners. Thank you, Uncle Palmer. [Looking skyward] Thank you.

Jackson: Here you go.

J.R.: Thank you.

Jackson: You're welcome.

J.R.: If you don't mind, I'd like to read this alone.

Marissa: Of course.

Jackson: Palmer mentioned you as well, Scott. "Two Chandlers named in my will. Who would have predicted that? Scott Chandler, you should never hold on to what doesn't belong to you. I did it too many times in my life, and it always led to trouble, even ruin. I've also learned it's never too late to return what's been taken."

Scott: I'd like to say something.

Annie: Let Jack finish.

Jackson: "I bought a picture your father painted of a creek in Pigeon Hollow. I'd look at it every day and be reminded of home, where I came from. It's yours now, Scott. Maybe you've never been to Pigeon Hollow, but, as Stuart's son, the best of Pigeon Hollow is in you. I never had much use for Chandlers, but Stuart was a man of integrity and heart. He took you in as a child and raised you to be a man as good and kind and noble as he was.

J.R.: "Dear nephew, I trust you will rely on your heart as well as your head to use your Chandler shares wisely, to be a far better man than your father. You're at a crossroads, J.R. Choose your next steps wisely. These keys belong to a beach cottage your mother loved. I hope you'll use this cottage as she did -- to get away when you feel like you're losing touch with what really matters. Your uncle, Palmer Cortlandt."

Scott: Is that -- gum?

Opal: Yeah.

Scott: Pardon me. This wouldn't have anything to do with you and Marissa and --

Annie: I --

Scott: I don't wanna know, do I?

Annie: I have to use the ladies room. Excuse me.

Erica: Palmer was such a powerful man. I mean, anyone who got in his way bled. But the truth is, nothing meant more to Palmer than family. That's something we very, very much have in common. And now that I am a free woman, there's nothing I would love more than to look forward to my new life.

Jackson: Mm. You're talking about the one where we're married?

Erica: Oh, Jack. I just -- I can't wait. Let's just get married just as soon as we possibly can. Ok?

J.R.: What do you want?

Annie: I lost a lipstick. Thought I might've dropped it here. So -- you read the letter?

J.R.: Yeah.

Annie: Anything interesting?

J.R.: Doesn't concern you.

Annie: Ooh. What's this for? I know, I know, it doesn't concern me.

J.R.: It's to a beach cottage my mother loved.

Annie: Palmer left it for you?

J.R.: Yeah. Figured it would be a great place for me to escape: When I needed to be alone.

Annie: Then why are there two keys?

J.R.: Hey. I was just about to head home. What do you say we hang out with A.J.? We'll go pick him up.

Marissa: Jackson hasn't finished reading the will yet.

J.R.: I'd rather spend more time with you. Tell you what else Palmer left me.

Marissa: I can't wait to hear.

J.R.: And don't feel like you have to rush home --

[Annie remembers kissing J.R. in the park]

Scott: Annie.

Annie: Hey.

Scott: Hey, sweetie.

Annie: Ohh. I am so sorry. This is terrible. J.R. getting those shares? You two being equal partners? I mean, it's bad enough that you have to deal with him at home, but now you have to battle it out with him in the board room?

Scott: It's all right.

Annie: You're ok with this?

Scott: Yeah. Yeah, actually, I am. I don't know -- maybe it's a sign.

Annie: What kind of sign?

Scott: Palmer leaving those shares to J.R., and my father's painting to me. Telling me how much I remind him of my father. Maybe it's all going to be ok now. The nanotech project. I can do it right now. I can build the business the way it should be built, without guilt, without looking over my shoulder.

Annie: If J.R. is your partner, you will always be looking over your shoulder.

Scott: Yeah, but I can deal, as long as I have you by my side.

Jackson: "My fortune has had its ups and downs in recent years, but Cortlandt Electronics -- and all its subsidiaries -- is still a force. I may be gone, but it's my hope that Cortlandt Electronics continues to make its mark on the world. That's why I'm entrusting Cortlandt Electronics to the two people who most embody the spirit that breathed life into my dreams and my company. The first is a woman who grew up in Pine Valley and made herself a household name around the world -- Erica Kane. The woman is my kindred spirit in so many ways, there's no one I'd rather have at the helm. But since she has many other business interests and won't be able to devote herself completely to the company, I leave full ownership of Cortlandt Electronics to the one remaining member of my family, whom I trust completely, my nephew Caleb Cooney."

Caleb: Get out of my way! I told you I've got an invitation to this thing. You touch me again, you're gonna lose your hand.

Erica: Caleb?

Caleb: Dorothy? You've got to be kidding me. You've got to be kidding me.

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