AMC Transcript Wednesday 5/19/10

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/19/10

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Episode #10378

Provided by Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Liza: What are you doing here?

Tad: I just thought it would be a really good idea if you and I finished the conversation that we started.

Liza: What? The one that I made a complete idiot out of myself? The one that you made very clear that we were very over. I think we finished the conversation.

Tad: Liza, that's not what happened.

Liza: Excuse me, please? Can I get a dirty martini?

Tad: Look, I meant what I said, ok? I meant everything I said. It's not you. It's me. It's not some kind of line. It's the truth. This whole thing with Damon -- you know, finding out who he is, getting to know him, trying to figure him out, trying to be a father to him -- it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Now, starting a relationship on top of that is --

Liza: It's too much for you. Because Krystal, on the other hand -- you seem to have no problem having a relationship.

Tad: Krystal? Krystal's got nothing to do with it.

Liza: Then what? Tad, what do you want from me?

Ryan: Hey. Look at you, right on time.

Madison: Just trying to impress the boss.

Ryan: You've already done that.

Madison: I hope this is enough. It's only $50, but I won't stop until you get all of the back rent you paid for me, with interest.

Ryan: I'm not taking it. Keep it.

Madison: Please let me.

Ryan: Ohh. All right, I'll take it on one condition: You have a little lunch with me later after I'm finished checking up on some stuff.

Madison: I'd love to.

Ryan: Ok.

Angie: Welcome back. Welcome back, Janet. You're in Pine Valley Hospital. You had a small CVA -- minor stroke -- but you're gonna be all right.

Janet: My dau -- my daughter Amanda. I need Amanda.

Amanda: Aren't you late for your shift?

Jake: I thought maybe I would take a little quality time-out, spend it with my beautiful wife and my son.

Amanda: Or maybe you're afraid to leave me alone with him again?

Jake: Man, please don't talk that way, ok? That's just --

Amanda: Crazy?

Jake: Listen to me. You are the greatest mom in the world, and Trevor agrees. We had a little talk about it. In fact, we decided that you were the perfect mom for the job to handle both of us. We think we're the luckiest guys in the world.

[Trevor cries]

Jake: It's ok. Go ahead. You're gonna be fine.

[Phone rings]

Jake: Hello?

Janet: Amanda. I need to speak to Amanda.

Jake: Janet, this is not a good time.

Janet: She is my daughter.

Jake: I can't have you call here, ok? And we don't want you calling here in the future. Thank you very much.

Janet: But --

Amanda: Who was that?

Jake: That's just one of those telemarketer people. You know, they call at the worst time and it's -- you know, how do they get your number? I don't know.

Amanda: Well, whatever they were selling, they got you upset.

Jake: No, it's -- you know how it is. How's Trevor?

Amanda: Oh, he's fine. He went right back to sleep.

Jake: Did he? Good. That's good.

Amanda: Why are you looking at me like that?

Jake: I'm not looking at you like anything. Like what?

Amanda: Like I'm one of your patients.

Colby: Forget Bailey. Forget what she pulled with Stuart. Let me make you feel better.

Tad: Ok, look at what happened today, all right? That's a perfect example. I finally get Damon to a place where he's dealing with me, and boom -- Bailey refuses to let him see his baby. It's like another hit he's got to deal with out of the blue, and my heart bleeds for him. That kid has been hurt enough already.

Liza: There's a lot of that going around.

Tad: Oh, here. Let me.

Liza: No. It's not necessary.

Tad: I insist. What about you? Hmm? What about you?

Liza: What about me?

Tad: Oh, Stuart being a no-show. That's got to hurt you just as much as anybody, and don't tell me it doesn't. I know. I was there with you on the night he was "born." You love him more than anybody. It gutted you to give him back to Bailey.

Liza: Yeah. And now Colby thinks that I'm the one to blame for Bailey's decision. God, when did I become the bad guy here?

Tad: You're not. Not to me. Anything but. But the fact is that every single time I put out some fire for or with or to help Damon, another one crops up. And I want to help him through it. I've got to. It's my job description, right -- I'm his father -- but I don't know how.

Liza: Look, nobody knows better than I do that making the right decision as a parent is not always an easy thing.

Tad: Do I stay or go? Do I stay, or do I do the same thing all over again and run off to Chandlers' trying to help him? Ok. I thought so. I'm gone.

Liza: I'm going with you. I want to make sure that Colby knows that Bailey's decision wasn't my fault.

Tad: Let's do it.

Jake: Can we just sit down and talk, please? Let's sit down.

Amanda: Standing is fine.

[Phone rings]

Amanda: Jake, you gonna answer it?

Jake: No. They'll go away.

Amanda: Jake --

Jake: Please don't answer it.

Amanda: Why not?

[Phone stops ringing]

Jake: Ok? There. You see?

Amanda: All right, what's going on?

Jake: Nothing is going on. Listen, can we just talk? I just want to talk to you.

Amanda: It wasn't a salesperson on the phone, was it? Who called, Jake?

Janet: The great Dr. Jake martin just hung up on me. I am back from the abyss, and he doesn't want what I'm selling!

Angie: Janet, why don't you put the phone down?

Janet: No. I have every right to speak to my daughter!

Angie: Janet, let go of the phone.

Frankie: Of course, you do, and you will, but right now the stress isn't good for you.

Angie: Listen, we can get you something to help relax you.

Janet: Ha ha ha! Something to cork me out of my mind -- isn't that what you really mean? And keep me in la-la land so you can keep me away from my daughter and from my grandbaby?!

Frankie: A tranquilizer will help you feel better, and that'll aid your recovery.

Janet: Doctors -- I curse the day my daughter ever married one of you!

Amanda: Just tell me what's going on and be honest. You have to be honest.

Jake: I am honest. I don't -- and I will be 100% honest right now. [Sighs]

Amanda: Jake?

Jake: What? I'm just trying to figure out a way to say it the right way, you know?

Amanda: Is this about Trevor? He really is ok, right?

Jake: No, it's not about Trevor. Trevor's fine. Trevor's perfect.

Amanda: Is it about my job? Did Erica fire me?

Jake: No, it's nothing like that.

Amanda: Then what?

[Phone rings]

Amanda: Hello?

Janet: Amanda, baby. Mommy -- Mommy's alive. Mommy's back, so everything's gonna be ok.

Amanda: Mom. You're really ok?

Janet: Baby, I'm gonna be ok. But I need you to come here as soon as you can. I'm surrounded by doctors, and you know how they are. Please, Amanda. Please, Mandy, baby, tell me that you'll come here right now.

Amanda: Yeah. I'll be right there, ok? You hung up on my mom. She was in a coma. She could've died! Why did you keep that from me?

[Damon and Colby kiss on her bed]

Damon: I can't do this.

Colby: Well, if it's about protection, I --

Damon: No, this is what I always do. Something goes wrong and I run straight into even more trouble -- not that you're trouble. I want this, I do, but not like this. I -- it's not about you. It's not about how I feel about you. It's just --

Colby: It's about Stuart, right?

Damon: And Bailey thinking I'm a loser, yeah.

Colby: Damon, you are not a loser.

Damon: But that's got to be the reason she doesn't want me to see my kid, so I have to prove her wrong. I have to, like, start being smart, like get a job and keep it -- 2 or 3 jobs if I have to. Get my GED, start, like making plans. I have to grow the hell up.

Colby: Stuart's an amazing kid. And I'll do whatever I can to help.

Tad: Listen, thanks for understanding about Damon.

Liza: Ok, I don't want Damon anywhere near Colby. But he does deserve to be in your life.

Tad: He's a good kid. I swear to you, all right, underneath all the drama, all the attitude, he's got a good heart.

Liza: Can we go find them, please?

Damon: If things go the way I hope, I plan to have a lot more Stuart time in the future. You think you can handle us both?

Colby: I can't wait.

[Door opens]

Tad: This isn't good.

Liza: I knew this was gonna happen.

Tad: Way to go, kid.

Damon: It's not what you think.

Liza: Oh, right. That's why I found you naked on top of my daughter?

Colby: No, we weren't naked, Mom!

Liza: Get dressed!

Damon: Nothing happened.

Tad: Don't help.

Liza: He's a good kid, huh? Right? You tell me to trust him? Like father, like son. You get the hell out of here.

Tad: Ok, all right. We're on our way.

Colby: Mom, could you have embarrassed me any more?!

Liza: Embarrassed you? Embarrassed you? My God, Colby! You keep telling me "trust me, trust me, he's just my friend." And then I find you like this.

Colby: Yes, Mom! He was upset about Stuart!

Liza: Oh, great so it's mercy sex? That's just great. He's not very original, is he?

Colby: For the last time, Mom, nothing happened! But I wanted it to.

Tad: You are unbelievable. You know, you have a real talent. There I am on the other side of the door talking you up to Liza, telling her how you can be trusted, and then boom.

Damon: Then how about you trust me when I tell you that nothing happened between us, ok? It was going to, but I stopped it.

Tad: Ha ha ha! You stopped it?

Damon: Is that so hard to believe?

Tad: Are you kidding? With your history? You already got one kid. Restraint isn't exactly your long suit.

Damon: Maybe I'm getting smarter, ok? Maybe I realized -- never mind.

Tad: What?

Damon: Nothing.

Tad: I want to hear this.

Damon: That it would've been for all the wrong reasons, ok?

Tad: I understand. You know, I get it. I mean, what the hell. You're brokenhearted, Bailey drops the bomb on you about not bringing Stuart, and then there's Colby, right? Let's face it, she's cute. You know, you like each other, you're attracted to each other, and -- whatever. You did the right thing, and I want you to know I'm proud of you.

Damon: Whatever, man. You busted me now, so you can go.

Tad: Oh, jinkies. Can I? You mind if I stick around and help you out a little first?

Damon: It's ok. I can deal with dragon lady on my own.

Tad: I'm not talking about Liza. I'm talking about what you want to do about Stuart.

Damon: Oh, man, there's nothing anyone can do about that.

Tad: That's not true. That's not true. Just because you think you haven't got any options doesn't mean that you don't have any options.

Damon: If somebody had told me that I would feel this way about some toothless little kid who drools all over me, I'd say they were crazy.

Tad: It's called being a father. Welcome to the club.

Damon: I'm missing everything.

Tad: Try missing 18 years.

Damon: Well, Bailey's calling the shots. She's the mom. There's not much I can do.

Tad: Wrong. Look, you're the father, ok, which means you have rights. You have the right to watch that kid take his first steps. You have the right to teach him how to play ball, how to climb a tree, how to flirt with a woman. Although, I'd probably pass on the last one -- we Martin men are pretty good to begin with.

Damon: Dude, I want to sign up for all of it, but how do I make that happen?

Randi: Hey. Mind if I join you?

Madison: Why not?

Randi: You working through lunch?

Madison: Something like that.

Randi: That's all over with, right -- David's whole seduction plan? Good. Let me buy you lunch?

Madison: You don't have to do that.

Randi: Look, you were willing to go to the extreme to protect my family. A BLT is the least that I can do.

Madison: Actually, Ryan invited me to have lunch with him.

Randi: Really?

Madison: It's just lunch. Would you like some iced tea until he joins me?

Randi: I could probably use something a little harder with this whole Greenlee/Erica feud that's going on, but sure. Tea -- why not? Thanks.

Madison: You know it'll be over soon.

Randi: Yeah, well, I'm not letting any secrets out when I say that Erica is more than confident that she is gonna win this thing. She's already walking around like the deal's done.

Madison: Mm-hmm. That's great.

Randi: Doesn't that worry you? Hello?

Madison: I'm listening.

Randi: You've hardly taken your eyes off him.

Madison: Ryan is a good guy. He's a great boss. I'm just grateful.

Randi: That look before had a lot more than "grateful" written all over it.

Madison: Well, no one asked you.

Randi: I'm teasing anyway. I mean, I know I've been giving you a hard time with this whole Ryan thing the last few weeks, but I actually think you guys would make a really cute couple.

Angie: How is she?

Frankie: Quiet, for now.

Angie: All right. We'll just keep her on the tranquilizers until she's more stable.

Frankie: Works for me.

Angie: Well, I hear congratulations are in order. This morning -- the hepatic lobectomy? I hear that we were brilliant.

Frankie: You know, it was pretty routine.

Angie: Oh, come on. Don't be so modest.

Frankie: It was kind of, you know -- I don't know -- brilliant.

Angie: Heh heh heh heh! You know that you have overcome so much and worked so hard on overcoming the injuries to your hand. And now here we are: The great surgeon I knew you'd be.

Frankie: Well, you have to say that because you're my mother.

Angie: No, I'm saying it because I'm your boss -- yes, and your mom.

Frankie: Hmm. Well, I couldn't have done it without my family. I mean, I can't imagine what it must've been like for Amanda to have a mother like that. As much as I've screwed up, you've always been there for me. Even when I thought I was a lost cause, you never gave up.

Angie: Oh, sweetheart, I'm so proud of you, and I thank God every day that you're safe and strong and happy.

Frankie: Oh.

[Hug]

Amanda: How hard is it to say "It's your mom, she's out of her coma"?

Jake: It was a couple of rough days, Babe. I was trying to protect you. That's what I was doing here.

Amanda: Because you think I'm fragile? Or maybe I'll hurt Trevor.

Jake: You didn't hurt Trevor. Trevor had a double ear infection. It happens all the time.

Amanda: But if I paid attention -- wait a minute. Is that why you stayed home? That's why you're here, right? To make sure I'm normal?

Jake: Honey, please stop. I stayed because I want to spend a little quality time with my wife and my child. That is it, ok, especially after all the crap that Janet has pulled recently. I didn't want to just hand the phone over to you and just catapult you back into her universe without giving you some kind of warning. That's what I'm guilty of, ok?

Amanda: See, I can't figure out if you're trying to protect me from my mother or protect me from becoming her.

Jake: You are not your mom. You're not your mom.

Amanda: But that's what I would tell someone if I were trying to reassure them, so you can't be sure. I'm going to the hospital.

Jake: Honey, honey.

Amanda: She's my mom.

Liza: Colby, honey, he's just trouble.

Colby: Just because Tad hurt you doesn't me all of a sudden Damon is gonna hurt me.

Liza: Wow.

Colby: I'm sorry, Mom.

Liza: You know, this is not about me and Tad. This is about me looking out for you.

Colby: I'm not a little girl anymore, Mom.

Liza: I know that. I know that, honey. But it doesn't mean that I don't stop protecting you and keeping you safe. Honey, there are so many guys out there. So many good guys -- guys in school, guys with jobs, guys that actually care about being with you.

Colby: Yeah -- guys who are not Tad's son, guys who don't have ADHD, guys who don't have a kid.

Liza: Yes, frankly. Yes. He's a mess, Colby. He does not have his life together.

Colby: He's made mistakes, Mom, I get that. He's got problems. I get that! But I see what is good in him. I see how hard he is trying, mom, and I am not walking away.

Damon: The last thing I want to do is walk away from my kid.

Tad: So don't. Look, you're the father, you got rights, so we get a lawyer, right? We work out some kind of schedule: Maybe weekends, certain holidays. You know, we'll just have to make it up as we go along.

Damon: What judge would say that I deserve ten minutes with Stuart, man? I'm an unemployed high school dropout who's on probation.

Tad: Damon, you're the screw-up -- I'm sorry -- but that doesn't mean a kid doesn't deserve his father, so all we're gonna do is make damn sure that your kid gets to know his.

Damon: You really think there's a shot?

Tad: We're not gonna know unless we get started.

Damon: You want to help me out with this?

Tad: Yeah. Sure. Look at it this way -- I never got to teach you how to take your first steps or climb a tree. Flirting with women you got in the bag, but maybe, just maybe, I can help you spend a little time with your kid.

Amanda: Hey. How's my mom?

Frankie: She was a little worked up. We had to sedate her. She's resting.

Amanda: There's no damage from the stroke?

Frankie: Preliminary tests are good. Looks like she might make a full recovery.

Amanda: Ohh. Can I see her?

Frankie: Sure.

Amanda: Hi. It's me again. Well, I guess this is where I say I'm glad that you're gonna get better. Wouldn't it have been so great if we'd had a normal life and a normal family? You know, I used to always think that everyone's moms talked to mirrors and saw things that weren't there. And when -- when I found out that you were different, I still loved you. But when you killed Dad -- I don't love you anymore. Because I have Jake and Trevor now, and I love them so much. And I really hope that we could have a normal life. I mean, I really think that's gonna happen. We didn't even have a normal wedding. There was no dad to walk me down the aisle, but we did the best we could. And I may not have had the perfect wedding, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that my husband and my son have the perfectly normal life that I never had. And I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Madison: So if I were interested in Ryan -- and I'm not saying that I am -- but if I were, any idea how to figure out if he's interested in me?

Randi: You're joking, right?

Madison: I went from debutante to wife. There wasn't a whole lot of dating in between, so any advice would be great.

Randi: I hear you, but you're definitely talking to the wrong girl. My dates paid by the hour.

Madison: Yeah, but you ended up with an amazing husband and a great marriage. Everyone at Fusion would love to have what you have.

Randi: I had help. Frankie wouldn't give up on me, even though I was a smart ass with an answer for everything. I was a hooker, Madison. He got me out of that life. He taught me what real love was.

Madison: Well, maybe real love doesn't happen for women who kill their husbands.

Randi: Abusive husband. Look, if I can have a happy ending, so can you.

Ryan: I am so sorry about that. I got a little busy up there. You got to be starving.

Madison: Uh, no. No, no. A little.

Ryan: Heh heh heh!

Randi: You know what? I'm gonna let you guys get to your lunch.

Madison: You don't have to leave.

Randi: Oh, I've got a ton of things that I need to do at Fusion. I'll see you guys later.

Ryan: Ok, see you later. So what looks good? I feel like a Cobb salad.

Madison: You don't look like a Cobb salad.

Ryan: Excuse me?

Madison: Nothing. I mean, the Cobb salad sounds good. Ahem.

Ryan: Are you ok?

Madison: Me? No, no, I'm good. I'm good. Everything's good.

Tad: Are we good?

Liza: Depends on your definition of "good." I thought you'd be gone by now.

Colby: Mom, he lives here. Deal with it.

Damon: We might have a roommate soon. Tad's trying to talk to Bailey, ask her to bring Stuart over.

Colby: That's great. So why don't we go back and make sure the decorations are still up and no one's eaten that crazy cake and see if Stuart's on his way.

Damon: I think maybe I should stay.

Tad: No. No, no, no, go ahead. Seriously, go. I'll give her a call and give you a full report later on.

Damon: All right. Thanks.

Liza: Wait, Colby --

Colby: Good-bye, Mom.

Liza: Great. That's great. Maybe they're gonna go have sex at your house now.

Tad: No, no. Or maybe they'll help each other through this thing. How about that?

Liza: Yeah, well, I've seen the way Damon deals with things, and I usually need to bail him out.

Tad: Speaking of which, I may have a legal question with Bailey, and I could really use your help.

Liza: Five minutes.

Tad: Great. It's ringing. Hey, Bailey? Hi, hi. It's Tad Martin. Yeah, yeah, that's right. No, I'm fine. I'm great, actually. How's about you? Terrific. I'm glad to hear it. Listen -- actually, there's a reason for this phone call. I was kind of hoping that I could talk you into letting Damon spend a little more time with Stuart, you know? It really is important. I know. I understand it's -- yeah. Yeah, she's -- no, she's right here. Ok. Fine. Just a second. That's strange. She wants to talk to you.

Amanda: I'm glad you're gonna be ok. You really scared me there.

Janet: Me waving a gun around in your home -- that scared you. And the things I told you right here in this very room -- that scared you. But me lying here unconscious, silent? That didn't scare you. You were relieved.

Amanda: That's not true.

Janet: Jake tells you things about me. They are lies. He's trying to keep us apart. I am free to see what's true, the truth behind the words, behind the fake smiles. I see the lies. Why? Because I'm vigilant, and you need to be, too, Amanda.

Amanda: Jake doesn't lie to me.

Janet: Why? Because he loves you? The ones who love you the most can be the most dangerous. Because they will tell you that you need help and that they are going to do what's best for you. And they will. They will help you in devious, clever ways -- right out of their lives and into the cracker house. Don't trust them, Amanda. Don't trust anyone.

Angie: So, listen, Janet was so agitated, we had no choice but to sedate her.

Jake: Well, I got to tell you it's probably my fault, because I didn't let Amanda talk to her mother.

Angie: Oh, Jake, come on. You know you can't take responsibility for Janet's emotional roller coaster rides.

Jake: Amanda is a mess. She's a mess. She's actually thinking that she is turning into her mother somehow. And she's doubting herself and every single one of her decisions, and I need to do something because it's breaking my heart. So I need to do this, and I'm actually gonna ask for your help.

Angie: Sweetie, anything. What do you need me to do?

Jake: Well, it's drastic, but considering the way she's behaving herself, it has to be done. And I can do this. It just would be a lot easier if I know I can count on you.

Madison: I should be the one buying you lunch.

Ryan: No offense, but I don't think you can afford it. I'm sorry.

Madison: Well, how can I take offense when you paid off all my back rent for me? And then when you busted me sleeping in rooms upstairs, instead of firing me you offered me a free room. Who does that? And all the David stuff, of course.

Ryan: Shutting Hayward down was pure pleasure, ok? So --

Madison: The idea of even thinking that I could seduce you -- you know, going along with such a horrible plan. I feel like all I've done is mess up with you. I certainly haven't given you any reason to trust me.

Ryan: Hey, do me a favor. Don't be so hard on yourself, ok?

Liza: Yes, Bailey, I know you have custody, but Damon has rights, too.

Tad: Wait. Just tell her that we're interested in, like, weekends, holidays, something like a -- anything.

Liza: Wait. What do you mean? You have proof? Well, obviously, we're gonna need more than that. Yeah, we're gonna need some independent confirmation. Yeah. All right, we'll be in touch.

Tad: What was that? What did she say? Why do you look like that?

Liza: You are not gonna like this.

Madison: Now you must think I am really crazy.

Ryan: No, I don't. Not at all.

Madison: It's just my history.

Ryan: Yes, I know. I understand.

Madison: And nerves.

Ryan: Nerves? Why would you be nervous with me?

Madison: I haven't really been out with someone in a long time, and this whole thing -- inviting me to lunch.

Ryan: As your boss.

Madison: Of course, as my boss.

Ryan: Ok. Good. I just -- because, you know, you're an incredible woman. Huh. It's just that being where I am in my life and my track record -- dating and all that, commitment -- I haven't really done so well. So I'm kind of taking a break, that's all. That's what I was trying.

Madison: Oh. Huh! I'm so there. I'm up to here with drama. I just want to live my life, be free, do what I want to do when I want to do it.

Jake: Hey, buddy! How are you? Having a bite with the beautiful Madison. Can I borrow this guy for a sec? Would that be ok? Just for a -- you know, I don't --

Madison: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I have other work I need to do anyway.

Ryan: Are you sure? You good?

Madison: Yeah. Yeah. Good. Perfect. Thank you for lunch.

Ryan: All right. No problem. Well, see you later.

Jake: Could you get -- all right.

Ryan: No, no. Thanks. Ok.

Angie: Amanda. Hi. How you doing?

Amanda: Hi. I'm good.

Angie: Do you have some time? I would love to buy you a cup of coffee.

Amanda: Oh, I really should get back to the house with Trevor.

Angie: Oh, I'm sure the babysitter won't mind. And I could use a mocha latte myself.

Amanda: Really, I'm good.

Angie: My treat? That nice little cafe next door? Great cupcakes.

Amanda: No. I said no. I have to go.

Angie: Amanda? Amanda?

Damon: Hey. You're just in time to give me a hand with this.

Tad: Damon, why don't you forget about the sign for a second?

Colby: Hi. Did you follow me here to make sure we weren't having sex?

Liza: No, honey, that is not why I'm here. Come here.

Damon: Did you call Bailey? What did she say? Are they on their way or --

Tad: Bailey is not bringing Stuart.

Damon: Ok, but what about the custody thing? Did she agree to letting me see him at all?

Tad: I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna -- I'm just gonna say it. Bailey claims that you're not Stuart's father.

Damon: That's crazy. I was the first guy she was ever with. We were together.

Tad: Well, apparently there was another "first guy." I'm sorry.

Damon: I don't believe it.

Tad: Liza talked to her. We told her we would look for our own confirmation, we'd get our own test.

Damon: Huh. Why would Bailey lie to me? All this time? All these months?

Tad: Because she loved you. She wanted to be with you, and she thought Stuart was a way to make that happen. When she realized it wasn't, she decided to tell the truth.

Damon: Well, she's lying. You know that, right?

Tad: I'm telling you, we'll get our own test, ok? We'll make sure.

Damon: No, I can't do this.

Colby: You ok?

Damon: It's not true. Huh. It can't be. Stuart is my kid.

Colby: Damon, we'll fight Bailey. We'll get --

Damon: I am so tired of fighting. I'm always fighting. I'm fighting all the time to be mature, be responsible, do the right freaking thing.

Colby: I'm so sorry.

Damon: You know what? Don't be. Don't be. This is my independence day: No kid, no family, no responsibility.

Colby: That doesn't mean you just give up, though.

Damon: I'm not giving up, but now I can have some fun again!

Colby: Wait. You're on probation. You can't --

Damon: Who cares? Screw it. Come on. Let's go celebrate.

Liza: Slipping out the back, huh? You got to be faster than that to outrun this.

Tad: What if Damon's right? What if Bailey is lying about Stuart not being his kid?

Liza: Honey, I know you don't want to lose him. None of us do.

Tad: I just don't understand how it could possibly hurt so much to lose something that you never had in the first place.

Liza: Come here. You still have me.

Tad: What?

Liza: Everything's gonna be all right. [Hugs Tad]

Frankie: Hey. Have you seen Randi?

Madison: She's gone.

Frankie: Oh, man. I was hoping I'd catch her.

Madison: I guess you're stuck with me.

Frankie: Oh. You ok?

Madison: Fabulous. Except that I just made a complete fool of myself at lunch with a guy that I would like to date. But I don't know anything about dating, so I just babbled and made an idiot of myself. And then he ran so fast that I will probably never see him again.

Frankie: Look, relax. Just -- you know, you're a great catch, so loosen up and just focus on what you want.

Madison: What I really want is just someone I can talk to.

Frankie: You have it.

Amanda: Ohh. Hey. I know it's been kind of crazy here lately -- God, I hate that word -- but I'm gonna be just fine. Between you and me, I think your dad's worried about me, because I heard him talking to another doctor. I think they're gonna try and trick me into doing something that I don't want to do.

Jake: So listen to me. Are you listening?

Ryan: Yes.

Jake: So I want to propose, and this time I just want to do it the right way, you know? Because she's always going around saying that every party's got a pooper, and I'm the pooper. Anyway, so the first time I did it I had plastic wedding rings, and David was tied up like a turkey in a chair. Did you ever hear about that? So I want the party to be, like, a Martin gala thing and I want you there, and I would love that. I want her to have that moment that a woman needs, that, you know, she knows she's the most fantastical thing in the world.

Ryan: Yes, I'm there. Count me in, 100%.

Jake: I just can't, you know, wait to see the look on her face when I propose.

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