AMC Transcript Tuesday 12/22/09

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 12/22/09


Episode #10276

Provided by Suzanne
Proofread by Gisele

Tad: Huh. Ahh.

[Cell phone rings]

Tad: Ha ha. Hey. What's with the gift basket?

Liza: Hey. I just wanted to make sure that you save the yummy stuff for the kids.

Tad: I would never give junk food like this to my kids. It's too yummy. Why'd you send it, anyway?

Liza: Well, you know, it was a little gratitude for helping me do the right thing with those compromising photos of Willis.

Tad: Hey, hey, hey. Come on, now. You burned those photos on your own. That wasn't my call.

Liza: No, but it was thanks to you. So thank you.

Tad: Well, in that case, you're welcome. And, Liza, I meant what I said. You can take that job from Willis fair and square anyway.

Liza: Ok, I got to run. I got to go see a client.

Tad: You do that. Go, I'm gonna go back to making sure all this stuff is kid-friendly.

Opal: Holy moley! Would you get a gander at that gift basket? How do you rate? Liza, huh? That's my boy.

Erica: Hi. Come on in. Just put the tree over there on the other side of the room, ok? Just be careful of all the nutcrackers. Actually, yes. Perfect in the corner. Lovely. Great idea.

[Knock on door]

Erica: Hi!

Ryan: Hey.

Erica: Hi.

Ryan: Oh, is that Christmas cheer I smell or is it just pine air freshener?

Erica: No. I heard from Kendall and Zach. They're coming home. They're finally home, yes!

Ryan: So they're ok?

Erica: They are, yes. And Aidan has been arrested.

Ryan: I still can't believe he snapped like that.

Erica: Oh, I know. But thank God that Zach found Kendall in the nick of time, really. And as if that wasn't enough good news for one day, Madison North's father -- there's a warrant out for his arrest.

Ryan: So when do Zach and Kendall get here?

Erica: They get here this evening. So there's enough time to transform this entire place and give them a really magical homecoming. Come on. Let's do it together.

Ryan: Erica, hold on. I'm thrilled for you, and I'm thrilled for Kendall, but we both know that I don't belong here.

Angie: Madison North is sleeping in our guest room, right? I'm not dreaming it?

Jesse: No, you're not dreaming it. It's hard to believe she's been asleep for over 16 hours.

Angie: Yeah, well, it's understandable. You know, it's probably the first time in her life she's felt safe.

Jesse: In the home of the people that she tried like hell to destroy. I can't believe we're letting her stay here.

Angie: I know, baby. But, you know, that poor damaged girl -- she needed someone to help her. And that's who we are: The Hubbards, right? Saviors of everyone in Pine Valley?

[Phone rings]

Jesse: I heard that. Hubbard.

Natalia: Hey. We got him.

Jesse: Beardsley?

Natalia: Yep. The APB paid off. State police just picked him up.

Jesse: Well, hold him there. I'll be right down.

Madison: My father's been arrested?

Jesse: Yeah.

Madison: So that means I'm gonna have to face him, then.

Angie: Well, not right away.

Madison: Well, I'll have to get up on a witness stand and tell a jury what he did to me, right?

Jesse: Well, that's gonna be the best way to get free of him.

Angie: You think you can handle it?

Madison: I don't know.

Liza: Hey. So I got a call for legal counsel for James Beardsley.

Natalia: Interrogation.

Liza: Ahem. Hello, Mr. Beardsley. We haven't met. I'm Liza Colby.

James: Nice to meet you, Ms. Colby.

Liza: So I'm just wondering. How did you get my number?

James: I read about your exploits defending Adam Chandler. So I thought if you can get that universally despised man off for murder, you're my girl.

Zach: Does this belong to you? 'Tis the season.

Kendall: To be getting things back.

Zach: In just a few hours, you'll be home giving ornaments to your own kids.

Kendall: Home.

Zach: In just a few hours. What?

Kendall: Well, are we gonna keep talking about the past like -- like it's over, everything is fine? But it's not, not yet.

Zach: Is this about me doubting you?

Kendall: No, Zach. I told you. I knew you would come for me, and you did.

Zach: Then what is it?

Kendall: Well, Aidan used our -- our history against us. He used our past against us. And the fact that I've actually given you a reason to doubt me.

Zach: We're beyond that now, right?

Kendall: Well, we're together now. But what's done is done.

Zach: Right. And it's made us who we are. And since I love who you are, I'm ok with it.

Kendall: I just need to know that when this plane touches down, something new begins today.

Zach: Not today. Yesterday. When I put that ring back on your finger, we promised each other a lifetime together. It's what you're gonna have. Come here. Whoa.

[Fasten seat belt tone sounds]

Ryan: Thank you, guys.

Man: Merry Christmas.

Ryan: Ok. Merry Christmas. All right.

[Door closes]

Erica: Ryan, don't do this. Of course, you're supposed to be here for Kendall's return-home celebration.

Ryan: Zach and I aren't at each other's throats right now, but, I mean, why push it? I'm the last guy he wants to see, Erica. We both know that, especially tonight.

Erica: Well, the world doesn't revolve around him.

Ryan: I'm not saying that it does.

Erica: Well, I'm just saying that he has a lot to be thankful for -- to you.

Ryan: And I'm just saying that tonight isn't the night to make him say it.

Erica: But you have done so much for Kendall.

Ryan: Ok, fine. I will help set up. Then I got to go. All right.

Opal: Well, I don't know. I'm just thinking that now that Krystal has taken a shine to that architect fellow, I'm just really glad that you are making a few moves of your own.

Tad: Once again, you have completely missed the mark. Ok? That gift basket has nothing to do with me. Ok? It is a gift of Liza to the entire family. It's just her way of saying "Merry Christmas and to all a good night."

Opal: I don't know. Looks a little more like "meet you under the mistletoe," if you ask me.

Tad: I didn't ask you. Personally, I'm just thrilled you can say Liza's name these days without making that little gacking noise at the back of your throat.

Opal: Liza has come a long way. I've noticed that. And obviously you have, too.

Tad: Mama, I'm telling you, ok? For the last time, it has nothing to do with me. Liza's just a friend. She had a little trouble, and I gave her a hand. That's it. That's the end of the story.

Opal: I don't get it. Why is it that when somebody's interested in somebody, they always deny it, you know? I mean, is that, like, outright lunacy or are you just hedging your bets in case it doesn't work out?

Tad: What if I am hedging my bets? Why can't you just go along for once, you know, just for five minutes? Is that so much to ask? What?

Opal: No. No. It isn't so much to ask.

Tad: Get away from me.

Opal: Oh, come on. Come on. Let me give you a hug, come on.

Liza: So I don't know anything about your case.

James: Well, I know very little myself. I just talked to the officer out there. She told me I was being booked for assault.

Liza: Ok. So who is the alleged victim?

James: Actually, my daughter.

Liza: Well, with a charge like that hanging over you, you're an awfully cool customer.

James: That's because I'm innocent.

Liza: Of course. Everyone who gets arrested is innocent.

James: And I will be innocent after I'm released, too. As a matter of fact, I assure you that that should be happening rather quickly.

Jesse: Madison, you swore out a statement, which is what we needed to arrest him. Solid first step.

Angie: If you really want to help break the cycle of violence, then you got to make a stand. And that means testifying against your --

Madison: I know. Against my father.

Angie: Jesse, shouldn't you be getting down to the station?

Jesse: Uh, yeah. You're right. I got to set up the arraignment. I'll keep you posted.

Angie: This is the hard part. But you've made it this far, and I have a strong feeling that you're gonna be tough enough to get through it.

Madison: I don't know.

Angie: You know, I see a lot of young women down at the hospital, same situation as you. But they just don't have that inner strength. They keep falling back into that same trap again, again, and again. So much suffering. But then some of them really are ready to say enough is enough. But most of the time, that is just too hard to do alone. But you're lucky because you got us.

Madison: That's just the thing: I have you. And you know it. Your husband knows it. We all know it. If we go after my father, he's gonna destroy your whole family.

["It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" plays]

Erica: Try it right here. Let's have a look at that, ok?

Ryan: Wow.

Erica: No, no. That's all wrong. Um, how about the door. Just put it on the door right there.

Ryan: Absolutely. There. How's this, your highness?

Erica: No. No. Uh, oh, right here. How about right here?

Ryan: Perfect. That's the spot. Absolutely. Now all I need you to do is just hold it here so I can tack it up, please.

Erica: Well, I have to stand back so I can see if it's centered. I can't see if it's centered unless I stand back. And I'm not sure. I'm not sure that's right at all.

Ryan: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm beginning to think all that talk about Christmas being ruined if I didn't stick around was just a way for you to get a manservant in the house.

Erica: Manservants are good.

Ryan: Yeah? Come here and help this manservant. Come over here for a second. Please?

Erica: Ok.

Ryan: Thank you.

Erica: Just don't take all day.

Ryan: No. Ahem.

Erica: What -- what are you doing?

Ryan: I'm putting you in the winner's circle.

Erica: Are you the prize?

Opal: Merry Christmas!

Erica: Ohh!

Opal: Oops.

Ryan: Merry Christmas.

Zach: I got you.

Kendall: Ok. Ohh. God, if I didn't know any better, I'd think the big guy upstairs was trying to send us a message.

Zach: Oh, I doubt that, not after everything we've been through.

Captain: This is your captain. I apologize for the rough ride, but we hit a doozie of a storm front, and ground control informs me we can't go through it or around it. For everyone's safety, we're being diverted to the nearest airport.

Zach: Oh, come on.

Captain: So I'm afraid we won't be making it to Pennsylvania tonight. Sorry, folks, but it looks like mother nature is ditching your holiday plans.

Kendall: Oh, come on.

Zach: I can't believe it. That can't be right.

Angie: You're being a bit overreactive, don't you think?

Madison: No. I'm not. Any lawyer that my father hires is gonna put me on the stand and question me about killing my husband.

Angie: Well, you can always claim self-defense.

Madison: Because Henry wouldn't defend me against my father's abuse? It's not exactly a clear-cut case. And he knows what Jesse and Randi did to cover it up. My father will make sure it comes out.

Angie: Yeah, you know, Jesse and I stayed up all night talking about this. And, yes, there is a risk. But what's our choice?

Madison: Send me back to my father?

Angie: Oh, no. That is absolutely not an option. The man is evil pure and simple, and he's got to be punished for what he did to you. Let the chips fall where they may.

Liza: And what makes you so certain that you're gonna get off so easily?

James: You know all you need to know for the time being, namely, that I am an innocent man.

Liza: Well, um, if you want me to mount a credible defense, you are gonna have to tell me more than that.

Jesse: Well. I see you've hired a very talented lawyer. Good for you. You're gonna need her.

James: Do we really have to do this dance?

Jesse: Sure looks that way.

James: My daughter is a sick woman. I have expert doctors that will swear to that.

Jesse: Well, your daughter seems to swear that you're the sick one.

James: She blames me because she feels she's a victim of her life. The truth is I love her, and I would do anything to protect her.

Jesse: Including beat her senseless if she tries to leave?

James: Chief, a trial could get ugly. Very ugly. We both know that.

Jesse: Yeah, we do.

Liza: Ok, you know what? This -- enough of this playground talk. Gentlemen, I'm gonna need to see a statement from the alleged victim.

James: Give me a minute alone with the chief first?

Liza: I don't think that's a very good idea.

James: I know what I'm doing. Leave us.

[Door closes]

James: You like your job, Chief?

Jesse: Oh, yeah. Especially when I get to bring down people like you who think they're above the law.

James: Enjoy it while you can. Because before you know it, you'll be out of a job before you can say "obstruction of justice."

Natalia: Yes. All right. Right away.

Liza: Hey, I'm gonna need to see Madison's statement in the alleged charges -- what -- what's going on? What's wrong?

Natalia: Uh, it's the D.A. They just found him.

Liza: What do you mean, found him? Where?

Natalia: His car crashed into a barrier. He's dead.

Opal: Well, I got the little guys settled in for a long winter's nap. So sorry we interrupted whatever you were up to.

Erica: Don't be silly, Opal.

Ryan: All we were up to was hanging a wreath. That's all.

Opal: Well, to tell the truth, I couldn't have kept them away for another second: So excited they were to get home.

Erica: Of course, they are. They're so excited their mommy's coming home for Christmas.

Opal: Yeah. And, you know, I know I can't take all the credit for her coming back. But it was my premonitions about Kendall that got that rescue rolling. And now she is on her way back home.

[Cell phone rings]

Erica: Excuse me. Well, this is Zach's number. I thought they were supposed to be, you know, in flight right now. Zach? Hello?

Kendall: Mom. Hey. It's me.

Erica: Oh, honey. Hi! Are you here? Did your plane come in early?

Kendall: Uh, sort of. We're in Ohio. We had a forced landing because of the storm.

Erica: Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Kendall: We're fine. We're fine. We're good. It's just a little hectic right now.

Erica: Well, honey, the boys are here, and they're so excited that you're coming home for Christmas. Or are you saying that you're not gonna get home in time for Christmas?

Zach: I'll get her home. I promise you.

Erica: Oh, Zach. Hi. Are you sure?

Zach: Yeah. We're gonna rent a car and drive the rest of the way. Don't worry.

Erica: Well, listen. Don't -- don't take any unnecessary chances or anything.

Zach: Ok, whatever. I'll talk to you later.

Kendall: Mom, don't wait up for us.

Erica: Well, now, honey, don't be silly. I am gonna wait up for you. I'm gonna be here for as long as that drive takes.

Kendall: Ok. Well, kiss the boys for me. I love you. Bye.

Opal: They're not getting in a car, are they?

Erica: Well, they don't have any choice, Opal. Their plane --

Opal: You got to call them back. Tell them they can't drive.

Erica: Opal, please don't --

Opal: No, I mean it. I mean it. I have a very bad feeling about Kendall in a car.

Ryan: Why? What -- what is it?

Opal: Well, all I know is that you go tell them they cannot drive here.

[Phone rings]

Liza: Come on, come on, come on. Pick up.

Tad: If this is the gift basket lady, I want to place another order.

Liza: Willis is dead.

Tad: What the hell are you talking about?

Liza: The D.A. went through some barrier, and he died in the wreck.

Tad: Oh, my God.

Liza: Tad, what if it's not an accident?

Tad: What do you mean, if it wasn't an accident? What else could it be?

Liza: It could be a lot of things.

Tad: Liza, where are you right now?

Liza: I'm at the police station.

Tad: Ok. All right. You just sit tight, all right? I'll be right there. And, Liza, don't say a word to anybody about anything.

Jesse: You might know a few things about me I wish you didn't. But I seem to remember you gave me all the incriminating evidence.

James: You don't think I'd be fool enough to give you all the copies? I can make them public at any time.

Jesse: Recordings can be doctored. And the D.A. trusts the job I've been doing.

James: Trust has nothing to do with it. You'll have no choice. I'll hold a press conference on the courthouse steps. If you try anything further, if you go down this path, any evidence you bring against me will be tainted by your corruption, and my case will be over before it begins.

Jesse: You beat your own daughter. You drugged her. You locked her away in some God forsaken --

James: If I kept her in protective facilities, it was to protect her and to protect my good name.

Jesse: I'm gonna make it my life's work to bring you down, along with your good name.

James: You'll regret that decision.

Jesse: You know what I think? I think you're bluffing about the tapes. I think if you had those tapes, you'd use them by now.

James: You don't play your best card till all the money's in the pot, Chief. But then, of course, only successful people would know that.

Jesse: Well, I know this. One thing I learned being a cop is how to read the lie in a man's heart.

James: Hell of a risk if you're wrong, isn't it?

Kendall: Hi. What's the matter? Is there anything I can do?

Woman: That's very kind, but, no. I'm his aunt. I was just bringing him home to see his mom for Christmas.

Kendall: Yeah, I guess this storm kind of put a crimp in all of our holiday plans.

Woman: She's been in Iraq. She just got deployed home. But we can't get a car without a credit card, and mine's just been declined.

Kendall: Zach? Zach? There's -- excuse me. There's a woman over there with her nephew, and they're both trying to get home for a family reunion just like we are.

Zach: Pretty much anyone here is gonna want that.

Kendall: No, Zach, we have to help them, please. Can we please help them?

Rental Agent: Next?

Opal: Listen. You got to listen to me here. I had this strange, weird, really scary kind of dream. And the main character, I guess you'd say, in it was a car. But I woke up feeling so upset, and now I'm thinking maybe, you know, that is a warning about Kendall. I just wish that you would call her and ask her to find another way home.

Erica: Another way? What other way?

Opal: A train maybe or a bus.

Erica: Opal, it's Christmas Eve. I'm sure that everything's already booked or snowed in.

Opal: But could you just try for me, please?

Ryan: Opal, maybe you knew somehow that the plane wasn't gonna make it all the way back to Pine Valley, and you knew that a car was the only way for them to get home. You know, so the bad part of the dream, the bad feeling, was the fact that the plane was gonna be forced to land, and the good part was that they had to take a car.

Opal: Well, I guess. You know, that could make sense. You could be right. But I have been reading my dreams for a very long time, and I know what I feel is what I feel. And I just wish that you would call her and at least tell them to be extra, extra careful. Would you do that?

Erica: Sure. Ok. Yeah. There's no harm in being careful.

Opal: No!

[As Erica tries to call Zach, his phone flashes a warning that the battery is low]

Jesse: We could do this all night. Bottom line is you are going down for assault, false imprisonment. I bet you I could even get my hands on Madison's old medical records to prove child abuse.

James: You want to play rough? I'll show you rough.

Jesse: I'm gonna go get your lawyer. You're gonna need her. You need to get your client ready. I'm gonna have the D.A. arraign him.

Liza: Uh, you're gonna have a little trouble arranging that.

Angie: I called that Thai place down the block, and they'll put together a pretty good dinner for the two of us.

Madison: What about Jesse?

Angie: Well, he'll probably be at the station for hours. Which gives us lots of time to eat and talk everything out.

Madison: Ok.

Angie: Ok. They're fast. I'll be back in ten minutes. Ow!

Rental Agent: There's your key. Slot number 32. And there's your credit card, sir.

Zach: Ok.

Woman: This is unbelievably kind of you. I don't know what to say.

Zach: Don't worry about it. We're all just trying to get home.

Kendall: That's right. Ok, give me a hug. All right. Have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas. Now you get to go home and see your mom, just like I'm gonna go home and see my little boys. And think that's the best Christmas gift we can ever get. Have fun.

Zach: Bye.

Kendall: Bye. Ok, that was amazingly generous of you.

Zach: It was your idea. All right. We're next. A car, one-way trip to Pine Valley, Pennsylvania, please.

Rental Agent: Ouch.

Kendall: What? What? Don't tell me there's no more cars?

Rental Agent: Just about. Only one left on the lot, but 's not outfitted for snow. No 4-wheel drive, no chains, no studs.

Zach: I've driven in the snow before. We'll take it.

Rental Agent: Got to go over the mountains to get where you're going. I don't think you'll have the traction.

Zach: Well, I got to try. Got to get this lady home for Christmas. So --

Liza: A little advice from your lawyer? Don't kick me out during an interrogation.

James: It wasn't an interrogation, really. It was more like two team captains finding out where we stood.

Liza: You know, I don't think that I like you.

James: You'll like my checks, I'm sure. When will I be arraigned? I'm anxious to leave.

Liza: Yeah, well, uh, there's been a little situation over at the D.A.'s office. Things are in disarray.

James: What does that mean?

Liza: Well, the earliest I think I can have you arraigned is sometime after the holidays.

James: I don't like the idea of spending Christmas Eve in jail.

Liza: Well, I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do about that this year.

James: This is outrageous.

Liza: Well, listen. I will do my very best. But it seems like the next step is transferring you to a cell. Excuse me.

Tad: Are you ok?

Liza: I don't think we need to talk about this here. Let's go.

Jesse: Hey. Something smells good.

Angie: This is for me and Madison. Ha ha! But you're lucky I share. How'd it go do at the station?

Jesse: Beardsley's trying to play hardball.

Angie: Well, then so will we.

Angie: Madison?

[Jesse sniffs the food]

Jesse: Mm!

Angie: Madison?

[Madison arrives at the police station]

Kendall: How much further, do you think?

Zach: A couple of hours. Why don't you close your eyes? I'll wake you up when we get there.

Kendall: No, no. I'll stay up and keep you company. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna call Mom and see how the boys are doing. Great. Of course. The battery's dead.

Zach: Let me see that thing.

[Tires screech]

Kendall: Watch out!

Zach: Hold on!

Angie: She's not here.

Jesse: You think she might've freaked out and ran?

Angie: Well, actually, she was more worried about us than herself. God. I just hope she doesn't try anything.

Jesse: Crazy.

Natalia: Thanks. Hey. What are you doing here?

Madison: I was just talking to your father.

Natalia: Um, well, your dad's inside, so you might want to make yourself scarce. Ok?

Madison: Well, I just came to tell you that Jesse said he wanted to see you down in the holding cell. Something about making room.

Natalia: All right. Thanks. Well, there's a break room around the corner if you'd like some coffee or doughnuts or anything.

Madison: Thank you.

Natalia: All right.

James: This is a surprise.

Madison: You are not going to hurt those people.

James: Don't be childish.

Madison: You're gonna plead guilty to the abuse, and you will not say one word in your defense.

James: Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

Madison: My demon father.

James: You expect me just to walk into prison?

Madison: I expect you to let your lawyer do all of your talking, cut the best deal that she can, and you're going to leave the Hubbards out of this.

James: Or what?

Madison: Or so help me God, I will take everything that I know about you -- a lifetime of dirty deals -- and expose them to the world.

James: So this is a negotiation?

Madison: No. It's an ultimatum.

Liza: I just can't believe it.

Tad: Listen to me, all right? It was a freak accident.

Liza: Ok, but why am I feeling so guilty here?

Tad: I don't know. Honestly. Have a seat. One thing I'm sure of is Willis' death was in no way your fault.

Liza: Ohh. Yesterday, I show him pictures of him having sex with a judge. Today, he's dead. You're gonna tell me, what, that's just a coincidence?

Tad: I -- I'm not sure. Look, I'll give you this much. Maybe what he'd done was eating at him, he got distracted while he was driving, and he went off the road.

Liza: You're telling me that what, me shoving pictures in his face had absolutely nothing to do with it?

Tad: Yes. You're not responsible for another man's guilty conscience.

Liza: What about my conscience? Tad, I was seriously considering using those pictures to leverage my career.

Tad: You didn't. You did the right thing, remember?

[Phone rings]

Liza: Liza Colby. Yes. All right. Thank you.

Tad: Well, don't just sit there and leave me in the dark. What's going on? What fresh hell is this?

Liza: That was the mayor, and he wants me to run for D.A.

Emma: Are you sure these are Santa's favorite kind of cookies?

Ryan: Yes. I'm absolutely positive they are, as a matter of fact.

Emma: Really? They're your favorite, too, Daddy.

Ryan: Amazing, right?

[Phone rings]

Ryan: Oh, hey. Zach and Kendall there yet?

Erica: Uh, no, not yet. How's Emma?

Ryan: She's amazing. Having a little daddy/daughter time waiting for Santa to show up. By the way, she loves the Dora Link doll you got her.

Erica: Oh. I'm so glad. I do wish you were here.

Ryan: I am.

Erica: Well, Merry Christmas, Ryan.

Ryan: To you, too.

[Opal sighs]

[Erica sighs]

Erica: What is it?

Opal: I just can't shake this feeling. I'm sorry. Was that them you were talking to?

Erica: No. I think that the battery in their phone must've died. And they're probably in the mountains or something, and then that's a dead zone.

Opal: A dead -- don't say that word, please!

Erica: Look, Opal, if it makes you feel any better, I'll call the highway patrol. I'll have them, you know, watch out for them.

Opal: Would you? Would you? Because I'm afraid if I did it, I just wouldn't be able to keep myself from sounding like a crazy woman. They'd probably send a car over here to pick me up.

Erica: No. I'll -- I'll do it now.

Opal: Good. Good. Because, you know, when I went up to get my jacket, I caught a minute of the news on TV. And that storm in Ohio? It's a doozie.

Zach: Well, the road is deserted. And without chains, we're not coming out of this ditch.

Kendall: Well, at least we're not hurt. Thank God for that. Oh, Zach. I mean, Christmas Eve is almost over. We're never gonna make it home in time now.

Zach: We'll just see it through till morning.

Kendall: And then what?

Zach: And then we're gonna flag somebody down.

Kendall: On Christmas Day? Who's gonna be out driving?

Zach: Snowplows, hopefully.

Kendall: Ok. So what do we do now?

Zach: Try to stay warm. Come on. We'll think of something.

Kendall: All right. Ha ha.

Zach: This is good. Ahh.

Kendall: Hey, tell me a Christmas story.

Zach: Ok.

Kendall: Yeah.

Zach: There once was a beautiful princess who wanted nothing more for Christmas than to be with her boys. Well, she saw another woman in need, and she decided to give that woman the only car that was left that had 4-wheel drive.

Kendall: Hmm. Did the princess make it back in time to her boys for Christmas?

Zach: Yes, she did. Best Christmas ever. Close your eyes.

[Father Clarence approaches Zach and Kendall's snow-covered car]

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