All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/20/09
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Provided by Laurie R.
Proofread by Gisele
Opal: Tad, can you feel my hand?
Jake: You're going to be ok, pal. You just need to speak to us. Can you do that? Can you?
[Tad laughs then moans in pain]
Jake: He's going to live, I think.
Tad: Yeah. Is that all right with you? You look like you've been to a funeral. Am I supposed to be the body? Is that it?
Jesse: You came pretty damn close, Tad. You took a bullet to the brain.
Tad: Is it still in there?
Angie: No, sweetheart. They got it out.
Tad: Oh, they got that.
Angie: How do you feel?
Tad: I've got a mother of a headache, but considering, you know, I feel pretty good. Tell the truth. When they went in, did they find a brain in there?
David: Zach did an extraordinary thing tonight. Adam's payback was long overdue.
Kendall: You don't give a damn about Zach. You're just glad that you don't have to go down for murder. You and a long line of people wanted Adam gone.
David: That may very well be true, but it still doesn't explain why Zach turned himself in. He confessed.
Man: Your lawyer's here.
Zach: I didn't ask for a lawyer.
Liza: Well, I came anyway.
Zach: You're a gambler, and a lawyer, and you've got other stuff up your sleeve, but I really don't have time for your games right now.
Liza: I'm a lawyer. You can check with BAR association, if you'd like.
Zach: I can't. I don't know your name.
Liza: Right. I'm Liza -- Liza Colby.
Scott: What's this doing here?
Colby: What's in there?
Scott: It's one of my dad's sweaters, some pants, a shirt. This is all my dad's stuff. But why would he leave this here?
Annie: Ryan, it's me. I don't want you to worry about Emma. She's safe, and with me, but there's something going on.
[Gunshots and screams]
Ryan: They were still in that house.
[Ryan grabs a hold of Aidan]
Ryan: You son of a bitch! You helped Annie take my girl.
Aidan: Hey, Ryan, it wasn't like that.
Ryan: Where the hell is my daughter, Aidan?
Aidan: I've been trying to look for her.
Annie: Come on, we've got to get up. Ready? One-two-three -- big girl.
Emma: I'm sleepy.
Annie: I know, sweetie. We can take a nap when we get to where we're going, ok? Come on. Good girl.
Adam: Please, please, don't go. Don't leave me here alone.
J.R.: That's not my dad. Look, Erica.
Erica: Oh, my God. It's Stuart.
Dr. Steele: Who is the President of the United States?
Tad: Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
Dr. Steele: I need you to concentrate.
Tad: My God, if the bullet didn't kill me, you're going to kill me. Barack Obama. Wife, Michelle. Daughters, Malia, Sasha. And they got that messed up little dog with a white foot. Now can I have my pilot's license, please?
Dr. Steele: What year is it?
Tad: 2009. Speaking of which, I've got one for you. How many Wall Street executives does it take to change a light bulb?
Dr. Steele: How many?
Tad: Two. One to fire the company, the other to ask for a whole mess of bailout money from TARP.
Dr. Steele: You're a funny guy. Are you always this funny?
Tad: Are you?
Dr. Steele: I will leave you to your audience.
Tad: Y'all come back now. Bring some of them gloves. How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?
Jake: I don't know. How many?
Tad: One, but the bulb's really got to want to change. Hello, hello? Is this thing on, seriously?
Jake: Stop it, stop it.
Tad: Can you hear me?
Jesse: Tad, Tad, do you remember anything about what happened earlier tonight?
Tad: I don't know. Does it involve light bulbs?
Jesse: There was chaos over at the Chandler Mansion.
Tad: Yeah, there always is.
Jesse: Adam got shot. He didn't survive. The power was out. I thought you were the perp, and I'm responsible for the bullet in your head.
Tad: I need a judge's ruling on this one. My best friend put a bullet in my head?
Tad: Well, that's it, sugar, I'm never going hunting with you again.
Jesse: We don't hunt, Thaddeus.
Tad: Yeah, that's kind of the point.
Kendall: Ian is Zach's entire life. And when we thought Ian was gone, Zach's life was over. That's why he confessed.
David: Kind of like a suicide mission without the actual death.
Kendall: Zach doesn't belong in prison. He was out of his mind with grief.
David: It's obvious you're still emotionally attached.
Kendall: Zach is Ian's father, which means we're connected for life, and Zach sacrificed everything tonight for Ian, for me --
David: I'm sorry. I don't understand. What did Zach sacrifice for you?
Zach: Liza Colby. So you're the former Mrs. Adam Chandler?
Liza: Yeah, the ex before last.
Zach: And Colby's mother. I'm sorry -- she's got to be distraught right now, although I've got to say, you seem to be taking it quite well.
Liza: Well, that's because I've had the full Adam Chandler experience. That man's been dead to me for years.
Zach: I've heard some interesting things about you.
Liza: Interesting -- well, that's a kiss of death.
Zach: Or -- I don't know, intriguing. Full of surprises, like this little charade there. I'm sure there's a reason for it.
Liza: The usual reason.
Zach: Not the usual. No, because I was with you less than a month ago.
Liza: So, I heard about the murder. I heard about your arrest. I drove straight here.
Zach: Ok. Why are you really here, Liza Colby?
Liza: I'm your legal representation.
Zach: I don't want legal representation. I pled guilty. I've confessed.
Liza: Right, which means you not only need legal representation, but you need someone with amazing finesse.
Zach: Mm-hmm, I do. That's why I'm going to do it myself.
Liza: Or, I could plead you out on lesser charges and chop years off your sentence.
Zach: That's nice. Thank you for caring, or pretending to care, but I'm not concerned how long they're going to put me away for.
Liza: Which means you're just not thinking straight. You're so determined to just self-destruct, you're not thinking about your boys. How destroyed do you think they're going to be when you disappear forever?
Zach: My boys are going to be in loving hands.
Liza: Well, that's good, but it's not the full nine. Look, single motherhood is rough. Believe me, I know.
Zach: Well, their mother won't be single for long.
Liza: Oh, so Kendall found a new man, huh? Well, I saw her picture at your house, remember?
Zach: And who is she to you, and you to her? Are you friends, enemies, something in between -- what?
Liza: I've worked with Kendall long enough to make an educated guess. Let me guess -- she's gone back to her old flame, Ryan -- Ryan Lavery? Am I right?
Ryan: Tell me where Annie has taken Emma.
Aidan: I don't know.
Ryan: Tell me where they are, Aidan.
Aidan: Ryan, she was meant to stay in the Maldives, all right? Coming back here was not part of the plan. She just turned up by surprise.
Ryan: And you covered for Annie again, and you let her snatch my kid, Aidan.
Aidan: I thought I could keep her under control.
Ryan: Well, then you're as crazy as she is, maybe even more.
Aidan: Listen, she was hiding out in the cellar.
Ryan: The cellar? What are you talking about? In this building? Here?
Aidan: I tried to stop her from going after Emma. Things got heated. I fell down the stairs, and she tied me up.
Ryan: Do you see now how crazy she is? I hope you understand. Now where has she taken Emma?
Aidan: I tracked them to the Chandler's, but then I lost them. But she can't go far. She can't leave the country, because I've got her passport right here.
Ryan: She called here, and she left a voicemail from the Chandler's. Maybe she's still there with Emma. Maybe that's where she is.
Aidan: Ryan, all hell has broken loose over there.
Ryan: I know that. I understand that. I'm going there, and don't try and stop me.
Aidan: No, listen. You could do something stupid. You're in a rage.
Ryan: She's got my daughter. Do you understand? I will do whatever I have to do to protect her.
Adam: Where am I?
Annie: This is your attic. Haven't you been up here before?
Adam: Yes. Yeah, of course. I just -- why am I here? Why are you here?
Annie: Don't you remember?
Adam: I'm having some memory issues lately.
Annie: Sweetie -- oh, look, you left your stuffed animal. Why don't you go play with him for a second while I talk to Mr. Chandler, ok? Emma and Little Adam had a play date, and I came to pick Emma up. The power was out, and somebody fired a gun. I bumped into you downstairs. You seemed very out of it.
Adam: Yes, I vaguely remember the blast.
Annie: Well, it was dark, and it was scary, so I brought us all up here. You still seemed pretty out of it, so I gave you your pills, and you fell asleep. But after you fell asleep, there were more shots, and there were sirens. And police have been going in and out of the house, and two of them passed by underneath us, and I heard them say that somebody was killed.
Colby: Uncle Stuart leaves things here all the time.
Scott: My dad never called me back. He still doesn't know about Adam. It will destroy him.
Colby: Uncle Stuart's the only one in the world who totally gets -- got my father.
J.R.: Poor Uncle Stuart. He was the kindest, gentlest man in the world. He would never hurt a soul. Who would do such a sick thing?
Erica: No one. No one. This was a hideous mistake. Whoever did the shooting -- the killer -- the killer thought it was your father.
Adam: You have no idea who was killed?
Annie: No. Like I said, we stayed out of sight. Is anything coming back to you?
Adam: Well, people -- people yelling, people raging -- I just -- it's such a blur. I'm having the damnedest time just trying to -- got to wake up! I feel like I'm still in a fog.
Annie: Well, I'm sure you'll be fine, Adam. We really have to go.
Adam: Wait, I'm going with you.
Annie: Look, no. We really have to go, Adam.
Adam: Just let me gather my wits. I promise I won't slow you down.
Ryan: Hi. I'm Ryan Lavery.
Natalia: Yes, I know. Natalia Fowler.
Ryan: Yes, Jesse's daughter. I've seen you around. Look, is your father here?
Ryan: I need to search the house.
Natalia: This is a crime scene.
Ryan: More than one crime has happened here, ok? My ex-wife kidnapped my daughter, and I strongly believe that she's got her hidden here someplace.
Natalia: Ok, but the house has already been checked.
Ryan: Does Annie Lavery -- the name Annie Lavery ring a bell to you?
Natalia: I know the case, yes.
Ryan: Well, then you also know that she should be locked up in a hospital for the criminally insane, not dragging my daughter around a crime scene. I need to search the house. Please.
Natalia: Well, I need to check that with the chief.
Ryan: I don't have time for that, ok? I don't have time for you to go to your father right now. If Annie gets Emma out of the country, I will never see my daughter again, ever.
Natalia: All right, come on. We can start upstairs.
Ryan: All right, thank you.
Liza: Yeah, Kendall and Ryan -- those two have been on again, off again, but they were never really over.
Zach: Why don't we let them go for the time being? How about that?
Liza: Yeah. Let's not talk about them. Let's talk about my impending motherhood.
Zach: Mm-hmm? Now, I'm not a doctor, but I am no more pregnant than you are.
Liza: Right, so all I can do is ask for your discretion.
Zach: Who are you trying to con?
Liza: I am having a baby. I'm just not carrying it personally.
Zach: I think we've covered that. Why are you pretending?
Liza: To protect a child. Listen, you are obviously a father that will do anything to make sure that his children are safe, so this baby's future depends on whether or not you keep my secret.
Zach: What secret?
Liza: You're a good man, Zach Slater. So when you decide to fight for your future instead of throwing it away, then give me a call. I'll represent you gratis.
Zach: I don't need handouts.
Liza: It's not a handout. It's a gift of thanks. Or I'll bill you senseless -- whatever works for you. Just give me a call.
Zach: I doubt it.
Liza: Well, then, just keep the card just in case.
Zach: Colby lost her father tonight. I'm truly sorry about that.
Liza: Don't be. Adam was a miserable parent. But you, on the other hand -- I have a feeling you're irreplaceable.
David: I'm just confused, that's all. I just don't see what Zach sacrificed for you tonight.
Kendall: That's not what I said.
David: No, that's what you said.
Kendall: Ok. All right, David, why are you harassing me with these ridiculous questions? What difference does any of this make?
David: The truth can be very interesting -- even useful at times. For some reason you seem to be dancing around it. Now, I have to tell you, in all honesty, it just makes me wonder why.
Kendall: What do you want from me? I'm exhausted, and Adam's greed almost cost me my son. Adam deserved to be executed. No one should pay for killing that man.
Erica: And no one will.
David: You say that with such certainty. What do you know?
J.R.: Are you ok?
Colby: Sort of numb.
J.R.: Is Scott with you?
Colby: He went to the gatehouse to tell Stuart. I guess Stuart's taking it hard.
J.R.: Scott's not going to find Stuart at the gatehouse.
Colby: How do you know?
Tad: How many cavemen does it take to change a light bulb? None. Caves don't have electricity. My God, this is a tough room.
Jesse: Is it normal for him to be acting this weird?
Angie: There really is no such thing as the norm.
Tad: Yeah, there is. There's a Norm. Trust me. He's real. I know him. He's just been having a tough time with cutbacks, and so he canceled, and I'm all that's left.
Tad: Hey. There he is.
J.R.: You're awake. You seem happy.
Tad: Yeah, if I were you, I wouldn't stick around here too long. It's not exactly contagious.
Angie: J.R., I'm so sorry for your loss.
J.R.: Thank you. Can I speak with you for a minute?
Tad: Hey, come on. You just got here. What am I, chopped liver?
J.R.: I'll be back. You seem ok.
Tad: Ok? Just ok? Have you read my review? Knock, knock. Come on -- knock, knock.
J.R.: Who's there?
J.R.: Ask who?
Tad: Cover your nose when you sneeze.
Tad: See what I did there? Come on, you used to love that when you were little. You whip it out on a kid, you'll see. Oh, not exactly a fan of my act.
Jake: It's been a pretty tough night for J.R.
Opal: But just seeing you smile warms my heart. Just glad to know you still got it, even in all this mess.
Jesse: What do you mean that's not your father's body in the morgue? Who else could it -- oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[Phone rings at the police station]
Zach's voice: Dear Ian, I knew you were a champion the first time I held you and your heart beat next to mine. You were tiny and fragile, but I felt your courage. I promised I'd never leave you, that I'd see you through every stage. I'd cheer you on from the bleachers, take you to hockey games. I won't be able to keep that promise, and it pains me more than I can say. You are the world to me. You're strong and loving, and you'll grow to be a magnificent man. You've got to trust your mom. She loves you like mad, and now and then, she may make you crazy, but she'll fight for you like a tiger. She will always be by your side.
Kendall: It's Stuart. Poor, sweet Stuart.
Erica: I know.
David: If Adam isn't dead, where the hell is the son of a bitch?
Erica: What difference does it make to you, David? Do you plan to hunt him down and kill him properly?
Erica: Honey, someone's going to have to break this to Zach.
Kendall: This is a tragedy.
Erica: It absolutely is.
Tad: How many bats does it take to change a light bulb? None. They only see in the dark. Bats only see in the -- that's ok. We'll cover bats when I get home, honey. Just do me a favor, just brush your teeth before you get ready for bed, ok? I love you, Kathy. What happened to my -- oh, here they are -- my favorite pallbearers. Boy, you should -- you two should go on the road, because you're amazing. When you left here, you were ok, and now it's this again. It's like, who ran over your dog?
Angie: We have some very bad news.
Jake: The body in the morgue is not Adam's. It's Stuart. It's Stuart who was murdered.
Scott: Hey. Have you seen my dad? He's not picking up his cell. I can't find him anywhere.
Colby: Um, Scott --
Scott: Marian is out of the country, so he's not with her. I checked at the gallery. He's not there. Where could he be?
Colby: Scott, J.R. wants you to meet him at the hospital.
Colby: I'm just supposed to tell you to go.
Scott: Well, is he still at the morgue?
Colby: That's where he wants to meet.
Scott: J.R.'s at the morgue? You're sure?
Scott: Something's not right here.
Natalia: No sign of them.
Ryan: I've got nothing, either. Nothing in the West Wing at all. Nothing.
Natalia: Maybe your hunch was wrong.
Ryan: No, it's more than a hunch. This place is riddled with tunnels.
Natalia: Well, I'm pretty sure we checked them all out.
Ryan: Only the ones they can find.
Natalia: I can't believe nobody caught this.
Adam: As soon as the coast is clear, we'll make a break for the terrace doors.
Annie: Why are you running from your own estate, and why are you helping me?
Adam: You helped me when I was incapacitated. You saved my life, for all I know.
Adam's voice: Come on, do it. Shoot it. Shoot me.
Adam: Shoot me! Pull the trigger!
J.R.: One in the chamber, eight in the clip.
Adam: They wanted me dead.
Adam: My ex-wife and my son, and some others.
Ryan: What is that? That's Emma's this belongs to my daughter. I knew they were in here. This house is insane. It's got so many places to hide. Adam Chandler. Three pills, twice a day.
Natalia: Adam Chandler and your ex-wife were both up here? At the same time, you think?
Ryan: I have no idea. Anything is possible, though. They could still be in this house.
Annie: People were pointing guns at you, but here you are. You're fine. You're still alive.
Adam: Somebody died here. It's not my daughter, or my son. The outline is too large.
Emma: Mommy, this is scary. Can we go now?
Annie: Ok. The terrace looks clear. We're going to make a run for it.
Adam: No, no. You can't leave me now.
Annie: But we have to go, Adam.
Adam: No, I know why you're running. You're supposed to be locked in a facility somewhere. And your daughter's supposed to be with Ryan.
Annie: No, no, no, you have it all wrong.
Adam: No, one click of my fingers, and I can make it all go away. I'd give your life back, your freedom, and your daughter.
Annie: And what would I have to do for you?
Adam: All you have to do is let me go with you, wherever you're going. Please, I just need some time to get my mind clear again.
Annie: All right, come on. Come on, come on. Come.
Colby: Mom. Why are you here?
Liza: Well, I heard about my dad.
Colby: Nothing's changed. I didn't need you before. I still don't need you now.
Liza: Honey, listen, I think that you do.
Colby: You're pregnant?
Tad: I mean it. You're a great doctor, but a lousy comic. You really suck. That thing about Stuart? That tanked big time.
Jake: I think you just need to get some sleep.
Tad: Yeah, well, I think you need to get your older brother some pajamas.
Tad: Because the back of my front is just too happy about the current situation.
Jake: Why is that?
Tad: Because it's been about 20 years since I've mooned somebody. I'd like to keep it that way.
Jake: Well, we're all very grateful.
Colby: I can see I've been replaced.
Liza: No, Colby, nobody could ever replace you.
Colby: Who's the baby daddy?
Liza: I got it from a sperm bank.
Colby: Could've sent me a postcard. "Making you a sibling. Wish you were here."
Liza: I tried to reach out to you. You ran, Colby. I figured I was I was giving you your space. But I just was hoping you'd come back to me.
Colby: Right about the space, wrong about coming back.
Liza: I got a law degree, passed the BAR. I've been building a new life for us, Colby. A lovely new life for our family.
Colby: Just leave me out of your family. I'll stick with the family I've got.
Liza: Who do you mean? J.R.?
Colby: I still have my father. Yeah, my dad's still alive. You can put the confetti away. Uncle Stuart's the one who was shot.
Liza: Who would want to -- who would want to hurt Stuart? Oh, Mother. Oh, my God, does anybody know where she is?
Colby: Nobody can reach her. She's out of town. Stuart knew where, but --
Liza: She must be falling apart. I've got to find her. Colby, I will be back.
Colby: Do me the biggest favor ever and don't come back, ok?
[David punches away at a hospital tray]
Krystal: David, David, what -- what are you doing? You're going to crush your hands. What is wrong?
David: Adam, the undead Chandler.
Krystal: Honey, Adam is in the morgue.
Krystal: He's dead and gone.
David: The body in the morgue is Stuart's. Which means Adam is still out there, ready to destroy more lives. This is unbelievable. So many people want to kill him, and the bastard just won't die!
Zach: How's Tad?
Jesse: He'll be fine. So will Adam Chandler. The body in the morgue with the hole in the back? It's his brother, Stuart.
Zach: Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake!
Jesse: Yeah. You don't make stupid mistakes, Zach. Smart ones, maybe. Not stupid ones. Who are you protecting? Kendall?
Kendall: I still can't get over it. Why was Stuart wearing a jacket and a tie? He never wears a tie.
Erica: Honey, how did you know what he was wearing?
Kendall: I just assumed.
Erica: You were there. Kendall, you have to trust someone. And who can you trust if you don't trust me?
Kendall: Ok. I went to the Chandler Mansion to kill Adam. Because I -- I thought he murdered my baby boy.
Erica: I know.
Kendall: But then Zach showed up and took over. It never even occurred to us that it would be Stuart.
Erica: I know. And Zach confessed to doing the shooting himself to protect the woman he loves -- the love of his life.
Kendall: To protect Ian's family, Spike and me.
Erica: All right, listen to me. As painful and as horrible as this is, this could actually work for Zach. He could say that the gun went off accidentally.
Kendall: How would that work?
Erica: The power at the mansion was completely out. The place was teeming with people. So Zach heard a noise, and it startled him into pulling the trigger. I mean, Zach wasn't aiming through the parlor doors, or at anything.
Kendall: How do you know all of these details? You were there. You were at the mansion, too, weren't you, Mom? You saw every single thing that happened.
Liza: Tad. Hi.
Tad: You've got to be kidding me. Is it really you?
Liza: Yes, it is. I hear the news about Adam, and I come rushing for Colby. Now it's Stuart and you. I can hardly absorb all this chaos. What the hell is going on?
Tad: Slow down, slow down. Congratulations. Who's the father?
Liza: Donor 19876543.
Tad: Congratulations, anyway. I'm sure it was an excellent year.
Liza: Who would want to hurt Stuart? Why would anyone want to hurt that dear man?
Aidan: I thought you were dead.
Scott: Why -- why am I here? Where's -- where's my dad? What's happening?
J.R.: Scott, I don't know how this happened. One minute, I was standing over my father's body, and the next -- well, I guess I didn't see his face. I guess you didn't, either, or we wouldn't have made a mistake.
Scott: What are you saying?
J.R.: We didn't know that Uncle Stuart was in the house.
J.R.: And his clothes, they didn't look like his. We just didn't know. We didn't know.
Scott: Dad. Damn it, no. No! No!
Liza: I know you must just feel like roadkill right now, but you promised to tell me what was going on. I mean, if you know who killed Stuart?
Tad: Yeah, if you insist. But you're going to have to lean in. My throat's shot.
Tad: I'm hoarse.
Liza: Yeah, yeah, right here.
[Tad and Liza kiss]
Colby: You say these were in the attic?
Colby: I guess that's where my dad hid out during the shooting.
Ryan: Wait a minute. What?
Natalia: Your dad was the victim, wasn't he?
Colby: We thought so at first, but when they got to the morgue, the body turned out to be my Uncle Stuart's.
J.R.: I loved Uncle Stuart so much. Everybody did.
Scott: Everybody wanted your dad dead. It was no secret. He knew. So he used my dad as a decoy. He set him up to take the bullet for him.
J.R.: Give me a break, Scott. My dad's a jerk, but he loved his brother. He would never set him up.
Scott: Where is your father who loved mine so much? Why isn't he here?
J.R.: That's a good question.
Scott: I'm going to find Uncle Adam, and I'm going to make him pay.
Erica: I was in the dining room, and I heard the shot ring out, so I ran to the parlor doors, and I just stood there, frozen. I saw Zach standing over the body. When he reached out for the pulse, that's when I took off.
Kendall: Why did you run?
Erica: Because I didn't want, in any way, to possibly be able to incriminate Zach.
Jesse: You're protecting somebody, Zach Slater. I want you to tell me the truth.
Zach: The truth is, I killed Stuart Chandler. And if you want my advice, you keep me in jail before I go to prison. Because if I get out, Adam's dead.
David: Stuart takes a bullet, and Adam gets away clean.
Krystal: No. When Adam finds out Stuart is dead, Adam's life will be over, too.
Aidan: I saw your body. Your son and daughter were upset. An ambulance took your body away.
Adam: It wasn't my body. Can't you tell? It was somebody else. Somebody... Oh, my -- Stuart. Stuart. Oh!
[Adam clutches his left arm in pain]
Annie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Adam?
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