AMC Transcript Tuesday 6/24/08

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 6/24/08

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Proofread by Gisele

Aidan: Hey. Got your message. It's a bit early for a pint, isn't it?

Greenlee: No, don't worry. I had something else in mind. Here. It tastes way better than my champagne and stout combo. It's good for you, too. Well, aren't you going to try it?

Aidan: What are we doing, Greenlee? What is this?

Greenlee: A peace offering?

Tad: What's the matter, sweetie? Not hungry? Come on, just -- just a couple mouthfuls, all right? Hey, listen -- if you don't eat, how are you going to have energy to play with that -- that new dollhouse that Colby gave you, huh?

[Kathy sighs]

Tad: Come on, baby, just -- here, take a little nibble of this. Come on.

Jake: Can I join in?

Tad: Hey, hey! As long as you promise to behave. Have a seat. You got to watch this guy like a hawk. You know why? Because he steals bacon for a living.

Jake: Lucky for you, I've already eaten.

Singer: For years I could only dream this through tears of joy I've seen this heaven's not too far away

Dré: Colby said 9:30, right?

Cassandra: That's what I thought.

Dré: She's late. Typical.

Cassandra: You want me to text her?

Dré: No, no, no, I just did. I mean, yeah, she said "B.J.'s."

Cassandra: Yep, B.J.'s

Dré: Weird. Colby set this up, so where is she?

J.R.: All right, then, just give me a call when you get those figures. All right. What are you guys doing here?

Adam: Well, I see you need a refresher. See this? "The Chandler"? That's me.

J.R.: Oh. Where does Colby fit in?

Colby: Good question, J.R.

Adam: Your sister needs her own parking spot.

J.R.: Ok.

Adam: And a sign that says "Reserved for Colby Chandler."

Colby: That's why you dragged me down here? To show me some lame parking space?

Adam: Well, I thought you might want to know what you're going to be parking there.

Colby: No way!

Adam: Go take a peek, sweetheart. I think you'll enjoy the view.

Colby: Oh, my God, Daddy, are you serious? That car is sick!

Adam: "Sick"? Uh, good -- I think. Because it's all yours.

Jack: Hi. How do you do it?

Erica: Well, I told you about Rochelle, didn't I? I mean, she's a great seamstress. She takes in all my jumpsuits.

Jack: Does a fantastic job, too, I might add. But that's not what I was talking about. I meant, how do you stay so confident?

Erica: About what?

Jack: Everything. Carmen, for instance. You're absolutely positive you're going to be able to get her out of here.

Erica: Jack, I have no choice. I promised Carmen a retrial.

Jack: So, therefore, that's what's going to happen?

Erica: Well, have you ever known me to break a promise?

Jack: Hmm. Just the one you made me on our wedding day.

Erica: Jackson Montgomery, you know that's not true.

Jack: Yes, I do.

Erica: So, you trying to pick a fight with me?

Jack: I know better than that.

Erica: Because if you think about it, that -- our broken wedding day promise was really a favor. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in prison.

Jack: I've noticed.

Erica: So, then, you know that if we were married right now, it would be awful.

Jack: Oh, I don't know that it would be awful.

Erica: We'd be reduced to letters, brief visits, monitored phone calls. All intimacy stripped away. Is that what you want?

Jack: No, that's not at all what I want.

Erica: So, should we get back to business?

Jack: Yeah, I guess we should. So, where's that lucky cellmate of yours, huh?

Carmen: Right here, Jackie. Miss me?

Jack: Always.

Carmen: So, what's going on? You get me a gig yet? Am I getting sprung?

Jack: Actually, I'm afraid I've run into a little roadblock in that regard. The judge won't sign off on you working for me or Erica or anybody that's related to us.

Carmen: But I need a job and a place to live, to get out on bail before my retrial, right?

Jack: That's right. But, believe me, I haven't given up yet.

Carmen: Well, maybe you should. I mean, you really think a total stranger is going to take in a convicted felon? You're good, Jackie, but even you can't make miracles.

Erica: But, lucky for you, I can.

Colby: Thank you so much, Daddy. I can't believe it! A new car!

Adam: The one I bought you for your Sweet 16 is so totally yesterday's news.

J.R.: Oh, yeah. It's so 2006.

Adam: [Laughs] You deserve it, sweetheart.

J.R.: Why, exactly? I'm just asking.

Adam: Well, she's turning 18. That's an adult. It requires quite a bit of responsibility and some privileges. Hmm. Hmm.

Colby: Are those to the car?

Adam: Yes, this one is.

Colby: There's more?

J.R.: Yeah, there's more?

Adam: And this one is to the lodge at the lake.

Colby: I can go there whenever I want?

Adam: Whenever you want. And take whoever you please. You and your sorority sisters can have a slumber party.

Colby: I'm not in a sorority yet. And we don't call them "slumber parties" anymore, Dad.

J.R.: No, I think they just call them "keggers," right?

Colby: Shut up, J.R. Shoot, I don't know what else to say.

Adam: Well, I think, "thank you" and a hug would suffice.

Colby: Thank you. But, dad, this doesn't make what you did to Tad and J.R. Ok.

Adam: I know, I know. But can't a father give his daughter a gift and have it just be that -- a gift?

Colby: I'm just saying -- you've got a long ways to go before I forgive you for hiding Kate.

Adam: Yes. But I feel I'm holding you up. Why don't you go have some fun? Go, go, go!

Adam: Spit it out, already.

J.R.: Ok. What the hell was that all about?

Singer: I was rocking upon the edge

Jake: Thank you. What are you drawing?

Kathy: That's me and that's my daddy.

Jake: Really? Well, you're very good, actually. And you're very kind. That picture of your daddy looks 10 years younger.

Tad: You're no help. It's a fabulous likeness. It just so happens, among other things, my daughter is a tremendous artiste. Huh? Hey, you know who this guy is, besides being very silly? He's my brother. That means he's your uncle.

Jake: Yeah, for better or for worse.

Tad: Definitely for better. You remember your Grandma Ruth and your Grandpa Joe? Well, he's their son, just like me. We're family, hmm? And you are a great, big, beautiful part of that. Isn't she?

Jake: I know what he's doing. I know what you're doing.

Kathy: What's he doing?

Jake: Your dad's being very sneaky. He's trying to get me to stay in Pine Valley.

Kathy: You don't live here?

Tad: No. Sadly, your Uncle Jake lives far, far away.

Kathy: From his mommy and daddy?

Tad: Uh-huh.

Kathy: Why?

Tad: Yeah, Jake. Why?

Aidan: A peace offering?

Greenlee: Yeah. I was hoping we could start over. I know you said you could never be just my friend, but we should find a way to make the "friends" thing work.

Aidan: Is this because I kissed you?

Greenlee: No. Yeah, sort of.

Aidan: Oh, well, I'm glad we figured that out.

Greenlee: I spent yesterday afternoon with Ryan.

Aidan: Of course.

Greenlee: Not like that. We were on a boat. Not a romantic boat, a platonic boat.

Aidan: I didn't realize they had those.

Greenlee: Yeah, they do. And we had a great time just talking, listening, doing nothing, really.

Aidan: Greenlee, why are you telling me this?

Greenlee: Because Ryan and I are in a good place. And with Kendall -- we're not best friends again, but at least I've controlled the urge to kill her.

Aidan: So?

Greenlee: So that just leaves you. If I can get past everything with Ryan and Kendall --

Aidan: Well, you can get past it with me, too.

Greenlee: Yeah.

Aidan: So we're back to this -- this "friends" thing, are we?

Greenlee: Yeah. Like "Oh, no, my toilet's clogged. I better call my friend Aidan."

Aidan: Yeah. Feel free to call your super on that one.

Greenlee: Fine. Or, "Hmm, I'm bored. We can go to the movies." Friends totally do that.

Aidan: Yeah, they do.

Greenlee: Yeah. We could eat popcorn.

Aidan: What happens if I reach over and get some popcorn and I accidentally do this? We still feel like friends then? Ooh, what's this?

Greenlee: You're missing the point. Friends don't touch each other like that.

Aidan: Like what?

Greenlee: Like that! All gentle and whispery.

Aidan: Ok, so, what do friends do? Hmm?

Greenlee: They high-five, give knuckles. Chest-bump.

Aidan: You and Kendall chest-bump?

Greenlee: All the time.

Aidan: And you and Ryan?

Greenlee: We're like the king and queen of high-fiving.

Aidan: Because you're friends?

Greenlee: Yes.

Aidan: Even though you used to be in love?

Greenlee: Exactly.

Aidan: And you're trying with Kendall?

Greenlee: Even though I used to hate her. Ok, now, see, you're getting it.

Aidan: You're not getting it, Greenlee. Our situation is completely different.

Greenlee: How?

Aidan: Well, Ryan and Kendall aren't madly in love with you like I am. They don't want to marry you, and I hope they don't want to make love to you.

Greenlee: Apparently, I've got my work cut out for me.

[Aidan sighs]

Greenlee: All right, come on.

Aidan: What are you doing?

Greenlee: Friendship 101. Come on, give me a fist. Ok, see, now, and blow it up. Just -- yes! Nice!

Aidan: This means we're friends now, does it?

Greenlee: It's a start.

Dré: So, how's it going living with your mom?

Cassandra: It's going.

Dré: You and Frankie seem pretty tight.

Cassandra: Oh, yeah, we are. That part's cool.

Dré: But the rest of it?

Cassandra: I -- I mean, don't get me wrong, I love -- love my family, but, I don't know, sometimes it just gets --

Dré: Complicated?

Cassandra: Yeah. Complicated.

Singer: Everything got twisted around and bent right out of shape

Colby: Sorry, sorry. I know. I was with my dad and J.R.

Cassandra: Oh, how's your dad? Is he still acting all crazy?

Colby: Uh, define "crazy." He bought me a new car and gave me keys to our lodge.

Dré: Whoa! Wait, wait, why'd he do that?

Colby: He says it's because I'm turning 18 and I deserve it.

Cassandra: And you say?

Colby: And I say it's because I'm turning 18 and get shares and a vote in Chandler Enterprises now.

Dré: The dude's bribing you?

Colby: And I totally saw I coming.

Cassandra: Wow. Well, at least you're working it.

Colby: Tell me about it. Ugh. Family. Why does it have to be so --

Cassandra and Dré: Complicated?

[Cassandra and Dré laugh]

J.R.: This is priceless, Dad. What did you do, buy Colby a pony, too?

Adam: What, are you jealous?

J.R.: No, no it just doesn't surprise me, either. You're trying to get her vote. Colby gets Chandler shares for her 18th birthday.

Adam: Oh, nonsense.

J.R.: You know, it's really sad when you have to throw money at your children just to get them on your side.

Adam: Well, apparently not for you. You're here because -- well, because -- why are you here, J.R.?

J.R.: Because I give a damn about this company. It's my legacy. It's my son's legacy.

Adam: Of course. But we won't be needing your services any longer. I can take it from here.

J.R.: Oh, is that so?

Adam: Yeah, you go right on back to doing whatever it is you were doing.

J.R.: Yeah, well, you know, it's funny that you mention it, because I actually do have something in the works.

Adam: Oh, really?

J.R.: Oh, yeah. Remember that online network I was getting ready to launch?

Adam: Oh, yes, yes -- the one that depended on that drug-addled bimbo to -- that you wanted to sleep with. How could I forget?

J.R.: Yeah, well, it turns out the project's not dead in the water after all. I just got off the phone with my contact at Q&B distribution.

Adam: Did you, now?

J.R.: Mm-hmm. He says it's got a real shot this time, even without Ava.

Adam: Did he say he thinks Britney's going to run for president?

J.R.: What the hell are you talking about?

Adam: Fusion has an exclusive lock on Q&B. Everybody knows that. You should've -- you should've come to me a good deal sooner, saved yourself a lot of time. And a lot of embarrassment.

Colby: Hey, Kathy. You want to come sit with the cool kids for a little while?

Tad: Go ahead, it's all right. Go be cool.

Colby: Come on.

Jake: Your napkin.

Tad: You still haven't answered her question yet.

Jake: We're not going to get back into all that, are we?

Tad: We never left. How can you look at her face and not know how important you are?

Jake: Don't, don't do that. This is not about you guys.

Tad: Well, that's comforting.

Jake: There are so many people in Africa that need my help, Tad. They need me.

Tad: And we don't?

Jake: You're kidding right now, right?

Tad: No. If you hadn't been on that roof a while back, I wouldn't be here. You saved my life, remember?

Jake: I had help.

Tad: Jake, if you hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here. It's a fact. I was a dead man, and you know it.

Jake: Well, then, put up a statue for me. Or don't. Actually, you shouldn't because I don't quite deserve one.

Tad: Ok, you know what, enough is enough. I'm sick of this. Once and for all, what the hell is eating at you?

Jake: I don't know if I have it anymore.

Tad: What are you talking about? Did something happen?

Jake: I messed up a patient, and I -- I didn't have their full history, and I could have cost them their life.

Tad: Sweetheart, you made a mistake, so what? You telling me with all the casualties you had to deal with over there, nobody makes a mistake in Africa?

Jake: As far as Africa goes, people just live or die. They don't have hope. There's no time for hope. Hope does not exist.

Tad: Well, if you really believe that, maybe that's your problem right there.

Greenlee: Oh, this isn't happening, is it?

Aidan: What? I thought I did the knuckle thing perfect, no?

Greenlee: No, not that. The whole friend fantasy.

Aidan: Fantasy, huh?

Greenlee: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Devane. You know what, forget I said anything. Forget it. We'll just -- we'll keep our distance. I'll do my thing, you do yours.

Aidan: That's not what I want, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Oh, I'm clear on what you want. I'm just not going to give it to you.

Aidan: Fine. You know what? Let's just agree to be best mates. How's that?

Greenlee: Well, let's just start with "mate," ok, and then we can work our way up.

Aidan: "Mate" it is.

Greenlee: Seriously? You said you couldn't.

Aidan: I don't really have a choice, do I? It's either be your friend or live without you, and I don't like the last one.

Greenlee: So, wow. You're really cool with just hanging out?

Aidan: I have to be, Greens. I want to be close to you. I want to be so close that I hear that wicked laugh of yours.

Greenlee: It's pretty wicked, isn't it?

Aidan: Looks like we only have one order of business we have to deal with.

Greenlee: What?

Aidan: Alphonso. I know he was looking forward to wearing his tux at the wedding.

Greenlee: I think he'll get over it.

J.R.: Hey. What are you doing here?

Babe: I'm bringing you breakfast.

J.R.: Aren't you supposed to be at Fusion?

Babe: Yeah, I'm on the way there.

J.R.: Uh, Babe, Chandler's not on the way to Fusion.

Babe: Ok, things have been pretty tense at the office lately, and I just needed a time-out.

J.R.: Yeah. I need one of those, too. Here. So, who's all got you riled up? Is it Kendall or Greenlee?

Babe: Uh, it's a little of everything -- the way they're running the company, how little control I have. I mean, I used to own half of Fusion. It's like everybody's forgotten that.

J.R.: Mm-hmm. There's been a lot of selective memory around here, too.

Babe: Yeah. Well, anyway, I thought if I stopped by here and had a little breakfast, maybe I could go into the office without my head exploding. What?

J.R.: I like that. You know, I'm the guy that keeps you from your head exploding.

Babe: Oh, oh, how do you know it's not the bagels?

J.R.: Ooh.

Babe: So, what's going on here?

J.R.: You don't want to know.

Babe: Yeah, I do. I'm in desperate need of distraction.

J.R.: Well, you just missed my father and Colby.

Babe: Colby? Since when does she hang out at the office?

J.R.: Uh, since never. Dad bought her a new car and brought her here to collect.

Babe: Wow, another car. I'm guessing for her birthday.

J.R.: Her 18th birthday.

Babe: Colby Chandler officially becomes an adult.

J.R.: Yes, and officially a shareholder.

Babe: So, what, you think Adam's trying to buy her votes?

J.R.: Why does that surprise you?

Babe: Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess after everything that's happened with Kathy and Tad, I'd think that maybe he'd take a breather from messing with people?

J.R.: No, no, it's just business as usual around here, and I'm beyond sick of it.

Babe: Well, then just leave, J.R.

J.R.: And let my dad win? I'm not going to let him use his company the way he used my little sister. I'm not going to let Little A be groomed for this company with that as an example.

Babe: So, then what are you going to do?

J.R.: I'm going to become CEO. I'm going to take Chandler Enterprises. All of it.

Carmen: Hey, isn't that that rich guy who went bananas?

Jack: Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Carmen: [Speaks Spanish] If I want out of here, I got to work for him?

Erica: Hello, Adam. Please, have a seat.

Adam: Your -- ahem -- your "go get your children back" pep talk hasn't worked yet, so I'm not in the mood for cheerleading.

Erica: Well, look around you, Adam. I'm hardly in the position to wave pompoms.

Adam: Well, that's true. You -- you are stuck in the slammer.

Erica: And you were stuck in a mental institution.

Adam: Hmm.

Erica: Well, let's not get bogged down in details. So, you are a public disgrace.

Adam: I don't have to listen to this!

Erica: No I was, too, until I did something about it.

Adam: Yeah, I saw your behind -- the behind-the-bars special the other day.

Erica: Ok, and?

Adam: Well, despite your neon jumpsuit, you looked like you hadn't missed a beat.

Erica: And why do you think that is, Adam? Because when it comes to image, I am a genius.

Adam: Hooray for you. Yes, hooray for you. Now, would you tell me what the hell I have to do with all this?

Erica: You want to go from lunatic to hero? I can take you there, Adam. Today.

J.R.: Well, say something, Babe.

Babe: What do you want me to say? I don't think it's a good idea.

J.R.: Why not? I ran Chandler Enterprises while my father was at Oak Haven, and everybody was impressed.

Babe: I know that, I know that. But what is this really about, J.R.?

J.R.: What do you mean, "What is it about?" It's about me, it's about being the best man for the job.

Babe: Are you sure it's not about you sticking it to Adam?

J.R.: I'm done with that, ok? I know that there was a tug of war between us before, but that's not what I'm about this time.

Babe: Ok, then what is it about?

J.R.: Well, it's about running Chandler Enterprises the best way that I know how. I want Little A to be excited about becoming a part of this company when he's ready to.

Babe: If -- if he wants to.

J.R.: Yeah, well, of course, if he wants to.

Babe: Ok, but I -- I really don't think that Adam's going to go quietly on this.

J.R.: Yeah, tell me about it. But I can handle him. What? What is with the worried look?

Babe: Because, J.R., I don't know what's worse -- you fighting Adam or becoming him.

Jack: You know, Carmen, this could take a while. You might want to wait back in your room.

Carmen: "Cell," Jackie.

Jack: Cell, cell.

Carmen: Yeah, but, oh, what I wouldn't do for a real room -- some curtains, shag carpet, lava lamp.

Erica: You need to do more than prove your sanity, Adam. You need to prove to the world that you are a good and compassionate man.

Adam: Ah. Fine. What charity and how much?

Erica: Oh, Adam, put your checkbook away. I don't want your money.

Adam: Well, how else are you going to exploit my philanthropic instincts?

Erica: You said you watched my show the other day?

Adam: Yes, I saw your moony-eyed interview with Samuel Woods. Oh, yes.

Erica: Well, it also featured my cellmate and dear friend, Carmen Morales.

Adam: You mean the one that kidnapped you and ran you all over the country?

Erica: I mean the one who was unfairly prosecuted and was put into jail for no reason at all.

Adam: Do you intend to get to the point any time soon?

Erica: In order for Carmen to be released before her retrial, she needs a job, Adam, and a place to live.

Adam: You're not suggesting -- now you're the one who's lost your mind.

Tad: Since when are you a guy that doesn't believe in hope?

Jake: You just don't -- you just don't get it.

Tad: No, maybe not, but I get you. At least I used to.

Jake: What was that? Guilt trip.

Tad: No, no, no, it's not. I'm not being funny, I'm stating the obvious. Look, you know I love you -- no matter what, I love you -- but I've got to be honest. Lately, there's not a whole lot about you that I recognize anymore.

Jake: Well, Tad, that's life. People change.

Tad: Yeah. People grow. They evolve. This is different. I'm worried for you. It's like somebody sucked the life right out of you.

Jake: Really? What am I supposed to do with that?

Tad: Get it back. Stay.

Jake: Oh, because Pine Valley has all the answers?

Tad: No, I didn't say that. One thing we do have a lot of is hope, and I should know. Look at me and Kathy. We're living proof. Hey. Did you have fun?

Kathy: I was scared you left.

Tad: Nah. I was right here the entire time. I'm not going anywhere, sunshine.

Jake: Yeah, me either. For a while. So, are you going to eat this or what? I mean --

Tad: No, but I am.

Jake: Well, I --

Tad: No, I got it.

Colby: Jesse took a job at PVU?

Cassandra: Mm-hmm.

Dré: So, if you move to Pine Valley, then --

Cassandra: Yeah. If I stay here, that's where I'll be going to school in the fall. I know. I mean, who wants their stepdad checking up on them all the time?

Dré: Well, at least he checks up on you. I mean, my dad's too busy making out with Erica Kane.

Colby: They did not make out.

Dré: Close enough. I mean, there he was on TV acting all generous and gracious. Meanwhile, he's only putting in extra face time because his numbers are slipping.

Colby: Yeah, well, be thankful your dad didn't try to buy you off.

Cassandra: Ok, he's got to know you're on to him.

Colby: Trust me, he doesn't have a clue.

Dré: Wait, so these votes your dad wants -- what are they about?

Colby: All I know is the only ones that matter are the ones he and J.R. disagree on. So that means I have to be stuck in the middle of it. Do I look psyched or what?

Dré: That sucks.

Colby: Tell me about it.

Cassandra: You know, sometimes I just wish I could just get away from the whole family thing -- I mean, just for a little while.

Colby: I might be able to help you out with that. You guys have plans for Fourth of July?

Dré: Nope.

Cassandra: Not yet.

Colby: You do now.

Aidan: So, friend, what's on the agenda for today?

Greenlee: You actually want to start hanging out, like, now?

Aidan: Well, yeah. Why not? Unless you've got a better offer.

Greenlee: No, actually, I don't.

Aidan: So, you got me here. What do you plan to do with me?

Greenlee: Um, I plan to put you to work. I've got to clean up this mess.

Aidan: Fine, I'll help you.

Greenlee: Ok.

Aidan: Oops.

Greenlee: Sorry.

Aidan: Sorry.

Greenlee: Oh.

Aidan: Uh, where -- where should these go?

Greenlee: Right over there. Oh, ugh.

Aidan: You all right? What happened?

Greenlee: Nothing. I got this --

Aidan: Come here.

Greenlee: What? Give it to me.

Aidan: I think you've got yogurt on your face.

Greenlee: Yeah. Yeah. I got to go.

Aidan: I thought you said you had nothing to do for the rest of the day. Friend?

J.R.: I won't turn into my father, Babe.

Babe: How can you know that?

J.R.: Because I know what I want, I know who I am, and it doesn't involve being miserable or all alone.

Babe: Yeah, but what if you can't help it, J.R.? I mean, you grew up with Adam. That's all you know.

J.R.: Yeah, and you grew up in a trailer park. It doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't have to.

Babe: But how do we get away from that? It just feels like no matter what I do, I'm always going to be seen as that girl.

J.R.: Not by me. Not by a lot of people. You've changed, Babe, and believe it or not, so have I.

Babe: I know that. I know that now, but, I mean, you taking over Chandler and taking Adam's place?

J.R.: I'm not trying to take his place. I'm just trying to make it mine.

Babe: Are you sure that you can do that?

J.R.: Yes. I'm going to run work better, my love life.

Babe: Well, you make it sound really easy.

J.R.: Yeah, well, that's because it is. It's very easy. If we could just get past all this bull, we could live our lives the way that we want to live it.

Babe: J.R., you've got it all figured out, don't you?

J.R.: Yeah, I do. Now I do. But now I just need you on my side. I can't conquer the world without my partner, can I?

Babe: I guess we do make a good team, huh?

J.R.: Yeah, we do. We always did. Well, maybe not always, but things are different this time.

Babe: So, you really think we can have it all?

J.R.: Yeah. I just need you to believe it, too.

Carmen: [Sighs] This is useless. I'm never getting out of here.

Jack: Oh, I don't know about that, Carmen. Erica's got that look in her eye.

Carmen: What look?

Jack: The one she gets when she's about to win.

Carmen: Oh, that. That's always there. Superstar's magic. If only I could borrow some.

Adam: You want me to open my home to a deranged criminal?

Erica: Carmen is no such thing, Adam. And besides, she wouldn't just be living there, Adam. She'd be working. She'd be helping out around the use.

Adam: While she's stealing the silver.

Erica: Adam, I know that since your episode, most of your staff has left you. It's a win-win, Adam.

Adam: All right, all right. If I say this and do this -- and that's a big "if" -- you're going to owe me big time.

Erica: Oh, no, I won't. I stopped owing you after the second time you tricked me into marrying you. Besides, if anyone's doing anyone a favor around here, it's me.

Adam: In what demented universe?

Erica: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Adam -- demented. You have a severely tarnished image.

Adam: And you want me to provide a home for your severely damaged friend.

Erica: Well, I just hate to think what might happen if you don't do this, Adam.

Adam: Oh, that sounds a little like a threat.

Erica: No, I'm just saying. I'm going to get out of here soon, and I'm going back to a very successful, influential talk show.

Adam: So what?

Erica: So, you could just find yourself the subject of a weekly feature, and not a flattering one.

Adam: That's blackmail. That's -- that's extortion.

Erica: Those are concepts you're extremely familiar with. So, tell me something, Adam. Do we have a deal?

Kathy: Hey.

Jake: Hey! Oh!

[Tad imitates Japanese]

Jake: I'm going to see if the bar is open.

Bartender: Can I bring you something else?

Jake: I'd just love to have a coffee to go. Thank you.

Greenlee: We're friends, right?

Jake: Yeah.

Greenlee: Touch me.

Jake: What? Why?

Greenlee: Just -- just do it. Ok, now, what do you feel?

Jake: Uh, confused?

Greenlee: No, seriously. Are you all tingly, goosebumpy, desperate to kiss me?

Jake: Well, if I say no, do I get slapped?

Greenlee: Oh, thank you. This is good. See? I can be friends. With you.

Colby: So, what do you guys think? Chilling out in the sun, swimming in the lake, and most important --

All: No parents.

Cassandra: Oh, my God, I am so in.

Colby: Dré?

Dré: Oh, without a doubt.

Colby: Sweet. We're going to have the best weekend ever.

Cassandra: Whoo!

Colby: Yeah.

Tad: We're going to be just fine. You'll see. We're going to do just fine, kiddo.

Jake: Ah, thank you. As long as it's got the -- no.

Greenlee: So, you're staying here in Pine Valley.

Jake: Yeah, for a little while.

Greenlee: Where, your Mom and Dad's place?

Jake: No, no. I mean, I love them, but --

Greenlee: Ah, say no more.

Jake: Mm-hmm.

Greenlee: What about Tad and Krystal's?

Jake: Tad and Krystal's?

Greenlee: Yeah.

Jake: I'm not really into changing diapers, you know?

Greenlee: Hmm, good point.

Jake: I'd be on diaper patrol.

Greenlee: Good point.

Jake: I'm just going to stay in a motel -- hotel -- well, motel. Cheaper.

Greenlee: I have an idea. Move in with me.

J.R.: Yeah, ok. All right, all right. Right. Thank you for breakfast.

Babe: Thank you for the pep talk. You know, I'm really proud of you, J.R.

J.R.: Proud enough to marry me again?

Babe: Um, let's just take things one step at a time, ok?

J.R.: Right, one step at a time. First step, Richie's arraignment. Do you want to go?

Babe: Oh, my God, I hadn't realized it had gotten so late.

J.R.: I think he deserves to see that his scams only made us closer. Don't you?

Babe: Well, I think Richie deserves much worse.

Adam: You must be her.

Carmen: Carmen Morales at your service. You're cuter than I thought. So, we shacking up or what?

Adam: I loathe you for this.

Erica: Back at you, Adam. Thanks for stopping by.

Jack: You -- I don't know how you did it, but you did it.

Carmen: Are those --

Jack: These, Carmen, are your release papers.

Erica: This is it, Carmen. You're going to walk through those doors, and you're never coming back.

>> On the next  All My Children" --

Greenlee: I won't charge you rent, won't eat your food, and, best of all, I won't nag you. Come on, Jake, you know you want to.

Judge: Do you have legal representation?

Richie: I choose to represent myself. The defense calls Annie Lavery to the stand.

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