AMC Transcript Tuesday 10/30/07

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 10/30/07

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Zach: Yeah. Hey, how are you --

[Ian fusses and cries]

Zach: What are you doing to him?

Kendall: I -- I -- I'm measuring.

Zach: I know, she's crazy.

Kendall: Yes, and please, yeah. I'm measuring him because when he was first born, his foot came up to here, and now it comes all the way up to here.

Zach: Ah.

Kendall: It's very impressive.

Zach: Yeah. You're tickling your sweet little mom.

Kendall: Oh, you -- you just keep on growing. You just keep on going, ok? What?

Zach: What, I'm happy he's coming home. It makes me smile. Right, little boy?

Kendall: Me, too. Me, too.

Zach: Yeah.

Kendall: And I can't wait to get you out of here. You can smell the fresh air, see the sunlight, the blue sky. Hmm -- you like that.

Zach: Yeah, and we'll go to Detroit and watch a game and drink some beer.

Kendall: Well --

Zach: You want to do that?

Kendall: Yeah, I'm sure someday.

Zach: Mm-hmm. Someday soon -- the season started -- good boy. Yeah.

Kendall: Hi.

Julia: Well --

Zach: Hey.

Julia: It is true what they say -- there's nothing sexier than a man with a baby, huh?

Kendall: All right, there. Easy there, lady.

Zach: This is Ian's lucky day. You don't usually work up here.

Julia: Oh, no, no, no. My shift is over. Dr. Joe just asked me to stop by and send you to his office.

Kendall: What is it about?

Julia: Spike.

Ryan: Aha, read my mind.

Annie: Ok. I should warn you, it's a little strong. But it's good, I swear. Really, it's just a little, um, beefy.

Ryan: Beefy coffee?

[Doorbell rings]

Ryan: It's good.

Annie: I told you. I told you. Jonathan. You're just in time to witness a miracle.

Annie: I finally mastered the coffee machine. You want some?

Jonathan: No. No, I'm good. Thank you, though.

Ryan: No, no, it -- it is. It's really good.

Jonathan: No, I'm sure it's lovely, but I'm all right. Thanks.

Annie: Ok, fine. Then do you want some waffles or something?

Jonathan: Ah -- no, no, I don't. I'm good, thanks.

Ryan: So, what's going on? Come by to carpool?

Jonathan: No, I came by to catch up. What's going on here? It's been a while.

Annie: I know. I'm sorry. That's our fault, not yours.

Ryan: Yeah, it's been a little bit crazy lately. Have you heard the latest with Richie? He's claiming he has leukemia.

Jonathan: What's wrong with that guy?

Ryan: We're trying to figure that out. You ok?

Jonathan: I need to talk to you about Ava.

[J.R. chuckles]

J.R.: I couldn't be happier, Roger, with the test site, the feedback, the traffic so far.

Roger: I have to admit, man, I have never seen a beta site perform this well, and we've already guaranteed you first-page placement on all the search engines, so it's -- ooh, that's her.

J.R.: Yes, America's next obsession in the flesh.

Ava: I need to talk to you.

J.R.: I want you to meet my good friend Roger Davies. He's designing the website, and he's doing one hell of a job.

Roger: It's great to meet you, Ms. Benton.

Ava: Hi.

Roger: Wow. You're even more gorgeous in person.

Ava: Thank you.

J.R.: Yeah, that's my Ava.

Ava: Well, how long do you think you guys will be?

J.R.: Uh, well, we're finished. Right, Rog?

Roger: Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll just -- I'll just get in contact with you when the rest of the content's up. Uh -- again, it's -- it's a pleasure.

Ava: Ok, hands off, Mr. Groper. I told you I'm engaged -- remember?

J.R.: Oh, I remember -- I just don't care.

Ava: Could you be any more of an ass?

J.R.: Yeah, don't get me started.

Ava: That's not funny.

J.R.: Oh, come on, Ava. Smile, relax. Life is good and today's only going to get better.

Ava: Oh, really? Why today?

J.R.: Because I'm this close to getting what I want. Can't you just -- feel it?

Aidan: Good morning, morning, morning. I heard you get up hours ago.

Greenlee: Hmm. Yeah, I was afraid all my tossing and turning was keeping you awake.

Aidan: Well, you know what? Thanks to your generosity, I now have a well-rested ear that is available for bending if you care to give it a twist.

Greenlee: Ok. Well, um, you know how you said to stay away from J.R. and let you figure out if he's telling the truth about my embryos existing?

Aidan: You know what? I have to stop being surprised when you don't listen to me.

Greenlee: Ok, I couldn't wait. I -- I went to J.R. and I asked him if he knew where they are.

Aidan: And let me guess -- J.R. said, "Of course I do, Greenlee?"

Greenlee: Yes.

Aidan: Yeah?

Greenlee: Yes, and I believe him, Aidan, I do. I mean, he would never have the nerve to ask for so much if he was making it .

Aidan: So what did he ask for?

Greenlee: My shares of Fusion --

Aidan: You're kidding me?

Greenlee: All of them.

Aidan: You're kidding me?

Greenlee: No. He gave me till the end of the day to decide. And what's scaring the hell out of me is I'm considering it.

[Music plays at The Comeback]

Tad: [Irish accent] Top of the morning to you. Can I trouble you for a cup of Joe?

Krystal: No trouble at all.

Tad: [Normal voice] You have a paper?

Krystal: Yeah. There's one --

Tad: And you know, come to think of it, you think Julio could, you know, whip me up some pancakes, sausage?

Krystal: Yeah.

Tad: Well, hello, again.

Hannah: Hello, again to you.

Tad: Beautiful morning.

Hannah: Hmm. Isn't it?

Tad: Hmm.

Hannah: May I get some of that?

Krystal: Sure. Sure. Coming right up.

Hannah: Ok.

Krystal: So, is work keeping you busy?

Tad: Not particularly.

Krystal: Huh. You kind of look like you didn't get much sleep last night.

Tad: Huh, I didn't. I'm sorry -- I keep you awake?

Krystal: No, not -- not me.

Tad: Good because, you know, I wouldn't want to worry.

Krystal: Guzzle your coffee, Tad. You seem a little bit foggy.

Tad: No, no, nope. My eyes might look tired, but trust me, the rest of me is just wide awake. Mmm. Hey, beautiful.

Julia: Hey, you. Come sit.

Tad: Aha. On my way. Would you excuse me?

Hannah: Yeah, of course.

Krystal: Sorry for the wait. You want some cream?

Hannah: Oh, no, thank you. Popular guy.

Krystal: Yeah, yeah. Tad does have a way with the ladies. But let me tell you something -- deep down, he's just a big old softy.

Hannah: Hmm. Well, don't worry, Krystal. I have no intention of hurting him.

Singer: Come right through I'll light on

Julia: Well, I'm waiting.

Tad: For what?

Julia: I sent you two SOS text messages last night. Kathy wanted to have Uncle Tad over for dinner before my shift. She set a special place at the table for you, and she even made a little paper crown for you to wear.

Tad: I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you, darling. I didn't have my phone on last night.

Julia: Oh. Why not? Were you on a stakeout or something?

Tad: "Or something."

[Tad chuckles]

Julia: Oh -- ooh. Don't tell me -- Tad Martin was getting some action, huh?

Tad: Getting "busy"! Try not to sound so surprised. Oh, I got to tell you -- last night was the most fun I have had in a long, long time.

Ryan: Oh, I see -- "now" you decide to tell me. After your engagement is plastered on every cover of every gossip rag in the entire country --

Jonathan: Hmm.

Ryan: You decide to show up and tell your very own brother?

Jonathan: Hmm, yeah. Yeah, what -- what can I say? I'm just considerate that way?

Annie: Don't let him get to you. He didn't exactly call you right away to say "congratulations."

Ryan: What? I was holding out to see how long it would take Jonathan to come and tell me about it.

Jonathan: Right, right. No, I'm sorry that it's been -- that it's taken me so long to tell you. It's just I don't -- you've been dealing with a lot, and it was weird for me to walk up and say, "Hey, I know that your life blows right now, but I -- Ava and I are getting married."

Ryan: Wow. There might have been another way to say "your life blows right now," but --

Annie: You're family, Jonathan. We're thrilled for you.

Ryan: That is, if you're thrilled for you.

Jonathan: Yeah, I am.

Ryan: But?

Jonathan: Honest? Do you think I'm throwing my life away by marrying this girl?

Ava: Look, I don't care whatever jackpot you think you're going to hit, I said paws off, and I mean it.

J.R.: Really, because wasn't it you that had her lips and her hands all over me in an alley --

Ava: Hey, that was different. It was different.

J.R.: How?

Ava: Ok, I'm not getting into this with you right now.

J.R.: Ok, ok, I'm sorry I touched you. Can we move on to the next subject?

Ava: Yeah, please.

J.R.: The website -- can we say "massive success"?

Ava: What? I -- I didn't know it was up and running already.

J.R.: It's not only up and running, it's taken off. It's only been up for 48 hours. Ok, it's only on a test basis at this point, but it's getting more hits than some of the more well-established powerhouses get in the entire week.

Ava: Seriously?

J.R.: You know what's bringing them there? You, that face. Sorry. I forgot -- I can't touch you. Anyway, we can't sell anything until we get you out of that Fusion contract, but from judging how many hits we've been generating, I think we're going to be able to recoup the initial investment as soon as we're up and running for real.

Ava: Wow. Sounds huge. I didn't think it would be this big, but --

J.R.: You're hot, Ava. America can't get enough of you. Which reminds me, there's this German investor who is crazy about you. Huh -- can you blame him? Anyway, he wants to give a lot of money if you'd just take the time to meet him. So I said we'll meet with him next week in New York.

Ava: Wait, what? You said what?

J.R.: Yeah, I've already got the flights booked. I'm just trying to figure out which hotel will have more paparazzi camped outside.

Ava: Ok, no -- no.

J.R.: It's not going to be a problem -- I'll be invisible as soon as the flash bulbs go off.

Ava: No, no! I -- I -- I can't work with you. I quit.

Jonathan: Yeah, I know that Ava's a little out there sometimes.

Annie: Yeah, we -- we saw the new hairdo.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Annie: Emma thought it was cool, and Babe said that it scored some extra, you know, press for Fusion.

Jonathan: What'd you think?

Ryan: I thought it was insane --

Annie: Hmm.

Ryan: And brave and actually kind of cool.

Jonathan: No, she -- she does her own thing.

Ryan: Nothing wrong with that.

Jonathan: I don't think so.

Ryan: Jonathan, if you think I'm going to object to your marriage because your wife, or your fiancée -- excuse me -- got a Mohawk, I mean, come on.

Jonathan: No, no, no, no, it's not just that. It's -- ok. I mean, she does look a little bit like my last wife.

Ryan: Yeah, and we've talked about Lily. It's not like that hasn't come up before.

Annie: How does she feel about all this?

Jonathan: Lily?

Annie: Yeah.

Jonathan: She loves Ava.

Ryan: And that's what counts, right? Do you love Ava?

Jonathan: Yes.

Ryan: Well, then I am happy for you, my little brother. Get over here.

Jonathan: Oh. Ha-ha! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Annie: That's great.

Jonathan: All right.

Annie: I should warn Ava what a crazy family she's marrying into.

Jonathan: Oh, I've tried to warn her -- no luck.

Ryan: I know that she spent a lot of good quality time with Spike.

Jonathan: Oh, yeah. No, Ava has a good heart. She's just -- she's not used to people caring about her, the whole family unit kind of thing?

Annie: Yeah. Well, thanks to my brother, Richie, the whole idea of family has gotten a little distorted lately. It's perfect timing.

Jonathan: Yeah. Well, anyway, thank you -- both of you, thank you. It means a lot to me.

[Doorbell rings]

Ryan: You expecting anybody?

Annie: No.

Ryan: No? Ahem.

Ryan: Hey.

Kendall: Hi.

Ryan: Come on in.

Kendall: We just came back from the hospital.

Zach: We've got some news about Spike.

Greenlee: Which baby do I choose, Aidan? That's -- that's basically what it comes down to. I mean, J.R. wants me to decide between those embryos, my potential children, and the company that I gave birth to more than four years ago.

Aidan: Greenlee, don't let it do your head in, all right? J.R. wants you to think that he holds all the cards.

Greenlee: He does hold all the cards!

Aidan: No, but if what he's telling you is true. But I'm not convinced.

Greenlee: If he is making it up, then he sure knows where to hit where it's going to hurt the worst.

Aidan: Yeah, but you can't -- you can't let him do that to you, all right?

Greenlee: When I think of -- of holding my own baby, hearing someone that I love and adore call me "Mommy," I mean, nothing compares to that. But Fusion -- it nearly killed me when I walked away before. I -- I don't think I could do it again.

Aidan: Well, don't give it up yet.

Greenlee: You know, and the worst part is that no matter what I choose, I still risk hurting Kendall. Damn Zach for putting me in this position in the first place, and damn J.R. for making me choose!

Aidan: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen, listen. Well, then don't choose. All right? Maybe I can give you what you want.

Zach: It turns out getting up every four hours to give him his medicine was worth it.

Kendall: Because the infection is gone, and the fluid is out of his ears.

Ryan: What?

Annie: Oh!

Kendall: Yes, yes, yes.

Zach: He's back on the books for a cochlear implant surgery.

Kendall: Yes!

Jonathan: Congratulations!

Ryan: Thank God, thank God. Oh, my God. Oh, thank God.

Annie: Come here. That's amazing.

Kendall: I know, it's so awesome.

Ryan: Are you kidding me?

Kendall: No, I'm not kidding you. I'm not kidding you.

Ryan: Get over here.

[Ryan sighs]

Ryan: As much as this means to me -- and it means everything to me -- I know it means more to you.

Greenlee: When you say you can give me what I want, you --

Aidan: The embryos. Oh, you didn't think I was talking about --

Greenlee: No, I just -- I -- I wasn't sure.

Aidan: Listen, come here. I just want you to give me a little bit more time to see if I can locate them on my own, all right? I'm sure I can find a way past Zach's roadblocks. And if J.R.'s inside man can stumble across the cryo tank, well, then, I tell you what -- I sure as hell can, too.

Greenlee: No, see, I love that you want to help me, Aidan. I do, and if you get me out of this decision, I'm doing cartwheels across this room. No -- you just -- you've been so great to me. But cutting J.R. out of the equation, it's -- it's not an option. He made that real clear.

Aidan: I'm not scared of J.R., Greenlee.

Greenlee: No, it's not that. It's -- it's the second that J.R. finds out that I'm not playing ball with him, he's going to tip off Zach. And once Zach knows that we're on to him, those -- those embryos, they're going to disappear into thin air, just like all my dreams.

J.R.: You know what your problem is? You're scared.

Ava: Huh. I'm not scared.

J.R.: You're scared you're going to fail. But I'm telling you, Ava, you will not because I have your back, and it takes both of us to make this work.

Ava: I don't need you, J.R. What? If I have this many fans, if your website is getting as many hits, don't you think I can take success with me wherever I go?

J.R.: Do you know how many people have said that and never worked again? So what are you freaked out about -- is it your hair? Because the wig looks great.

Ava: It's not my hair.

J.R.: Then what is it? It's got to be something if you're looking for the next big thing when you already have it.

Ava: Look, I'm still the face of Fusion and that doesn't exactly suck.

J.R.: Fusion is nowhere near as huge as what I've got going. And once we get you out of that contract --

Ava: Look, you're not getting me out of any contract, ok? And I'm done with you, J.R. -- I'm done playing your bad girl. I'm sticking it out with Fusion, and I'm marrying the man I love.

J.R.: If you stop playing the bad girl, your career will be over. So why don't we get down to the bottom of what's really making you run scared? You've got it bad for me.

[Music plays]

Tad: Let's just say I had a terrific time with a terrific woman whose company I enjoy a lot, so much so that -- how do I put it? I opted not to leave when my carriage turned into a pumpkin.

Julia: And today?

Tad: What about it? I got no regrets. I had a great time. I mean, I -- I think I've made that pretty clear, right? I've made that clear?

Julia: Yeah, ok.

Tad: Because, you know --

Julia: I'm just making sure.

Tad: Well, if you don't believe me, I mean, I can -- I can get graphic, because she was really bendy.

Julia: No, that's ok. Thank you. You do realize that there is a difference between what Krystal did and what you did, right?

Tad: Yeah. I slept with somebody my own species.

Julia: Krystal had sex because, like it or not, she's love with Adam. You had sex to prove a point.

Hannah: Life would be so much easier if Tad was the one you wanted, don't you think?

Krystal: Let me tell you something, Hannah -- there is a lot you don't know.

Hannah: Well, I know if I had to choose between Tad Martin and Adam Chandler, there would be no contest.

Singer: Love innocent, beautiful

J.R.: You're afraid if we work together that we'll start sleeping together, and you're going to have to admit how little Jon Boy does for you and how much I make you crazy.

Ava: Shut up, J.R., ok?

J.R.: It's all right. I used to be afraid to admit it. But now it's just so overpowering, you can't ignore it.

Singer: It's in your eyes

Ava: There's no "it."

J.R.: Admit that you want me.

Ava: I don't want you, J.R.

J.R.: Would you be honest? At nighttime, do you fantasize about that make-out session we had in the alley? Because when I close my eyes, sometimes I could really get into it, and I can still feel your lips sliding all over mine.

Ava: Give it up already.

J.R.: No. I can remember how your hands felt on my body, how your body felt slammed against mine. Except when I imagine that kiss in the alley ending, it doesn't stop there. No, that kiss doesn't stop until we're completely naked, completely soaked, and completely spent.

Ava: Huh. Why are you doing this?

J.R.: That I'm sick of imagining it, aren't you? We both know it's going to happen eventually, so stop making us wait. Come on, let's go to my yacht right now.

Singer: Feels like forever

Ava: I can't.

J.R.: No, come on. I know you do -- you want it, and I want it. And we both always get what we want.

Singer: Feels like feels like forever

Aidan: So you're really going to do this, huh?

Greenlee: I -- I don't know.

Aidan: Listen, I understand how much this means to you, and I'm already starting to realize how much you want to be a mum someday. But if you're really serious about doing this, I think you should talk to Ryan, all right, because his names were on those test tubes, too.

Greenlee: Aidan, we talked about this. I'm not ready to go to Ryan. I don't know if I ever will be. All I know right now is that those embryos are mine. I want them back in my possession. After that, I -- I can't say.

Aidan: And you're really willing to give up Fusion for embryos that you may never use? Hmm?

Greenlee: Maybe I can't help fantasizing about holding my baby for the first time. I know it's -- it's crazy and impossible and --

Aidan: Which is why I'm saying it might be helpful to talk to Ryan.

Greenlee: Whether Ryan's name is on those vials or not, they're still mine. He has no legal claim to them. He gave up that right when he made the anonymous donation.

Aidan: Listen, I'm not talking about legal rights, all right? I'm talking about doing the right thing by the child and the child's father, all right? Before you make such a huge sacrifice and before you give up Fusion for a giant "maybe," at least tell Ryan what you're considering. That's all I'm saying.

Kendall: Ok, and not only will Spike hear all of our very obnoxious voices, but -- tell them.

Zach: Why don't you --

Kendall: You tell -- tell them!

Annie: Tell us what?

Ryan: What is it? What, you have more good news?

Zach: He's going to hear another obnoxious voice, that of Ian.

Kendall: Yes. Ian is coming home.

Annie: What?

Ryan: When?

Jonathan: Well, that's -- that's incredible. When?

Kendall: Thank you, thank you. Probably a couple of weeks.

Zach: Well, Joe said probably during the holidays. I mean, that's what he promised.

Annie: Oh, that's great news.

Ryan: I know -- it's about time, it is, and you know what? We deserve it.

Aidan: Look, I know you think telling Ryan the truth could end up in a big disaster, but you know what? He might actually surprise you.

Greenlee: Maybe.

J.R.: All right, we're all paid up. Let's get out of here -- and into my bed. Come on.

Ava: Look, J.R. -- look, I can't.

J.R.: Yeah, you can.

Ava: No, I can't. I'm in love with Jonathan. We're getting married.

J.R.: So? I'm pretty into Amanda, she's into me, but this has nothing to do with them.

Ava: No, you -- you can't honestly be that much of a pig, can you?

J.R.: I'm not being a pig, I'm just being honest. We have to get this out of our system.

Ava: No, we don't. I need to respect my fiancé. That is what I need to do.

J.R.: I'm not asking you to dump the guy. Ok? Things don't have to change with you and psycho boy.

Ava: Look, I told you to stop calling him that, ok? His name is Jonathan.

J.R.: All right, all right. You know what, marry Jonathan. Have a gazillion kids with Jonathan. Get buried next to Jonathan. But if we don't deal with our out-of-control chemistry, Jonathan is just going to be a substitute.

Ava: No. Because I love him. I do.

J.R.: Mm-hmm. Jonathan might be the guy you want to ride off into the sunset with. But I'm the guy you want crawling all over you.

Ryan: Texting Ava? Telling her to come by and join the party?

Jonathan: Party? No, she -- she has a pretty full schedule, but I am going to tell her the good news about Spike.

Ryan: Great.

Kendall: We heard about the wedding, Jonathan. Congratulations.

Jonathan: Thanks.

Zach: Not too late to change your mind.

Jonathan: Oh?

Ryan: He's right, you know. There is something to be said for bachelorhood.

Annie: Oh, really? Well, you're welcome to go back to it anytime.

Kendall: You're not.

Zach: "You're not."

Kendall: You're not.

Zach: I wouldn't dream of it. Come on.

Jonathan: Do it now.

Kendall: Ok, listen -- Ryan, I know that it's your turn to pick up Spike, but would you mind if I did? I want him to see my smiling face.

Ryan: I think he would like that. I'll drop by later.

Kendall: Ok. God, you know, I still -- I still can't believe that this is actually happening. I -- I thought that he would never hear again.

Annie: Well, you know what they say. God works one miracle at a time.

Kendall: And you're next in line. I -- I know that you've been going through a lot with your brother, but it will get better. And I would have never said that a week ago, but now, I believe it.

Ryan: This news really does change everything, doesn't it?

Zach: That, it does.

Greenlee: I just -- I finally felt like I could move on, and then hearing about these embryos -- it's like I have to rethink my whole life.

Aidan: I know what you mean. I really -- I -- I get it, believe me, all right? It's not easy for me to suggest to you to go to Ryan, for many reasons.

Greenlee: I know.

Aidan: It's a tough decision, and I'm not going to try and make it tougher. All right? But Ryan is a really good mate of mine, and I don't want to keep something like this from -- you know, from a friend.

Greenlee: So, you're saying that if I don't tell him, you will?

Aidan: I'm saying if you don't tell him, let me know, and I'll put some -- some distance between him and I.

Greenlee: You would stay away from your friend and -- and keep this secret for me?

Aidan: It's not my decision, Greenlee, it's yours. It's up to you, all right? I know how much this decision is -- is eating you up inside. I do. And I do not want to do anything that's going to make you feel any worse than you do now.

Greenlee: Wow. God, I just -- I -- I love -- what I meant to say is just that I'm -- I'm so grateful to you. That -- that's -- that's what I was trying to say. You've just -- you've -- you've been so great to me.

Aidan: Well, you make it easy.

Greenlee: Really, Aidan, these -- these past few weeks have just been a total hell, so having you to talk to, to whine to --

Aidan: I'm sorry, you, whine? No.

Greenlee: I don't want to freak you out. But I've grown dependent on you, Detective Devane. I mean, not in a -- a clingy, annoying sort of way. In -- in -- in a "I hope you're not going anywhere anytime soon" sort of way.

Aidan: Well, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Come here.

Greenlee: I'll do what's right where Ryan's concerned. I'll do what's best for everyone.

Ryan: So, Jonathan, when is the big day?

Jonathan: That is a good question.

Annie: You guys haven't set a date yet?

Jonathan: No, we haven't. It's going to work around Ava's schedule.

Annie: Ah.

Zach: I'm in good with her boss if you need someone to run interference.

Kendall: Oh, don't -- don't listen to him, because I know Ava's boss, and she's, like, totally badass, so good luck with that one.

Annie: Hey, maybe we can throw you guys an engagement party.

Jonathan: We're trying to do a combination kind of party with Ava's birthday.

Ryan: Wait a minute. Whose job is it to throw the engagement party, anyway? Isn't it the best man's job?

Annie: Subtle, Ryan, really.

Ryan: What -- what do you mean? I'm just asking. I don't --

Jonathan: No, it was very subtle. Uh -- no -- hey, you know you don't have to fish about who my best man's going to be.

Zach: I've already accepted.

[Laughter]

Jonathan: It's Zach. He looks great in a tux.

Ryan: Yeah, you guys are both very funny.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Ryan: Comedians.

Jonathan: We're funny guys. Come on. You know I wouldn't have anybody else do it but you. You'll do it?

Ryan: No. And by "no," I mean of course, I will --

Jonathan: You better do it or --

Ryan: Come here.

Jonathan: I'll kill you.

Ryan: I'd be absolutely honored. Thanks for asking.

[Music plays]

J.R.: Look at me.

Ava: No.

J.R.: Look at me. Let me kiss you.

Ava: I can't do that.

J.R.: Yes, you can. Let me help you.

Singer: Autumn sky waiting for the angels and guide them

J.R.: Let's get out of here.

Ava: No, I can't. J.R.

Ava: Look, this is so wrong.

J.R.: It's not wrong.

Ava: Look, no --

J.R.: It's what we want.

Ava: No, it's not what we want. It's not what I want. What I want is for you to back off. Ok, just back off, because this is never going to happen. I'm not going to sleep with you, and I'm not going to do business with you. And if you don't let me walk out of here alone, I'm going to throw the biggest scene I've ever had in my entire life. Do you want me to do that?

Singer: I see the stars collide and the light from the sky shines down

Krystal: Everything ok, Julia?

Julia: Well, it looks delicious, Krystal.

Krystal: Tad, how about some more coffee, huh?

Tad: Nope.

Julia: Oh.

Tad: What? What's with the evil? I had enough coffee to last till New Year's.

Julia: You're still mad at her.

Tad: I am not.

Julia: Well, you just totally froze her out.

Tad: You know what? You are reading way too much into this, ok? Fact -- I care a lot about Krystal. She's one of my dearest friends, ever. And while I don't want to sit back and watch her ruin her life -- and sleeping with Adam happens to be a crime against nature -- it's not like I intend to torture her about it.

Julia: Mm-hmm, which is why you had revenge sex?

Tad: Ok, a little.

Julia: Mm-hmm, ok. So, if you're not mad at her, then why did you do it? Because you're jealous?

Tad: I did it because I could. Because as you so thoroughly outlined the other day, I'm a red-blooded American male in desperate need of attention. I saw a chance last night, and I took it. And I loved it. Ok? But this morning, I wake up, sun shining -- you know what? It was what it was, and -- well, let's face it, the world hasn't stopped turning.

Julia: So what's next?

Tad: Outfits.

[Phone rings]

Kendall: No, no, absolutely no. Ryan, Spike is not going to be McLovin for Halloween.

Jonathan: Hey, hey. Get my text?

Ava: No. I'm -- I'm sorry.

Jonathan: What's wrong?

Ava: Nothing, nothing. Um, I just -- I want to see you. I have something to tell you.

Jonathan: Yes. Yes, of course. Do you -- do you want to meet at the house?

Ava: Ok, Jonathan?

Jonathan: Yeah?

Ava: Hurry.

Hannah: Does it bother you? Tad with that woman?

Krystal: Julia?

Hannah: Yeah.

Krystal: No, no. They're -- they're old friends.

Hannah: Oh. Well, what if it was more than that?

Krystal: Huh. If you're trying to figure out whether or not I'd go ballistic if you see Tad again, the answer is no. He's a great guy, and I want him to be happy.

Hannah: Yeah, me, too.

Tad: Krystal and I are grownups. We may not always act like it, but we are. We matter to each other. We're going to get past this. We'll get back in our groove, you'll see -- for Jenny's sake, if for nothing else. Now, if this little impromptu therapy session is over, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell Kathy to hang on to that paper crown, because King Thaddeus is going to take her out for an ice cream date, ok?

Julia: Will do.

Tad: Too much. So, what do I owe you?

Krystal: Well, I would settle for a smile.

Tad: Don't.

Krystal: Oh.

Hannah: Huh? Woof. I had a really nice time last night.

Tad: I had a better time.

Hannah: Yeah?

Tad: Mm-hmm.

Hannah: Maybe we should do it again, soon.

Tad: I think so. As long as we're clear on one thing. It happened because we were both angry, and we were both looking for an outlet.

Hannah: Oh. Ok, I get it. Um -- it's fine. Mm-hmm.

Tad: Wait.

Hannah: Yeah.

Tad: It's early. The coffee hasn't kicked in yet. I apologize. I didn't mean it like that. So let me make it up to you. Please, let me buy you dinner.

Hannah: Huh.

Jonathan: Ava? Hey. I got here as fast as I could. What's going on? What's the matter? What?

Ava: I --

Jonathan: Oh --

Ava: I just want to set a date. I want to set a date.

Jonathan: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, that was the big emergency?

Ava: Yeah, I just -- I just want to get married as soon as possible.

Jonathan: Ok.

Ava: Yeah?

Jonathan: Yes, yes, that works for me.

Ava: Ok, good.

Jonathan: I'm going to go -- come here. I'm going to go grab a calendar right now.

Ava: No, wait, wait, wait.

Jonathan: What, what?

J.R.: Of course, everything's still going as planned. It's just a small delay, that's all. Yeah, I'll keep you posted. Ok. Can I help you?

Aidan: Yeah, well, you just hold still.

[Adrian punches J.R.]

J.R.: Oh --

Ryan: So, give Spike a kiss for me.

Kendall: I -- definitely.

Annie: Oh, wait. Emma drew him a picture.

Zach: Another picture? We're adding a whole wing just for artwork.

Annie: I know, I know.

Zach: This is nice.

Annie: Isn't that nice?

Zach: What is it? Oh, it's a pumpkin.

[Doorbell rings]

Greenlee: Ryan, I am so glad I caught you. We need to -- talk.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Richie (to Annie): What if I'm dying? What better way to go than to take you with me?

Aidan (to J.R.): You tell me where that cryo tank is.

Greenlee (to Ryan): So you're saying you would accept our baby?

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