AMC Transcript Monday 9/10/07

All My Children Transcript Monday 9/10/07

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Aidan: Hey. What's the emergency this time, Greenlee?

Greenlee: You told him, didn't you?

Aidan: Told what to who?

Greenlee: You blabbed to Jack all about Hilliard, told him all about the doctor I got to help Spike. Well, thanks to you, Erica now knows, which means you might as well have told the whole damn world.

Erica: This is your office?

Donovan: Erica, please do come in. It is so lovely to see you. Is there something wrong?

Erica: You're Donovan Hilliard?

Donovan: Yes, of course.

Erica: Oh -- strange.

Donovan: Well, not at all, when you think about it. Where we first met, last names were more or less irrelevant, weren't they? Huh.

Erica: I just can't believe it's you, that's all.

Donovan: Relax, Erica. I'm the same guy you used to know, and if I'm not mistaken, you still like -- at least, a little bit?

Erica: No, Don, what you are is a fake.

[Spike fusses]

Kendall: Zach, this is real, this is real, this is real. He heard that lamp. Spike heard that lamp. That's right. That's right, we have to call. Call -- call Dr. Hilliard.

Zach: Spike? Spike?

Kendall: Well, of course, he's not going to respond to you, honey, he's got to calm down. He's got to calm down.

[Spike fusses]

Kendall: It's ok, baby. You're ok, you're ok, my sweet.

Zach: I'm calling Dr. Norton.

Kendall: You're ok, honey. Ok, ok, you're ok. You're ok, baby.

[Spike cries]

Ryan: Is he ok? What happened?

Kendall: I told you. I -- I told everybody, but no one would -- would believe me, Ryan. Spike -- Spike can hear. He can hear.

[J.R. laughs]

J.R.: It's too early for Halloween.

Stuart: Uh -- I can explain.

J.R.: So that leaves us with what, Dad? Nice overalls, by the way.

Adam: Shut up.

Stuart: This was my idea.

J.R.: You don't have to cover for him, Uncle Stuart.

Stuart: No, I'm not, I'm not. I asked him to pretend to be -- to be Stuart.

Adam: Stuart, that's enough.

Stuart: It's all right, it's a good thing. His heart's in the right place.

J.R.: This is going to blow up in your faces -- you know that, right? It does every time.

Stuart: Well, but this is different. Adam is trying to --

Adam: Quiet!

Stuart: But --

Adam: Not another word, please.

J.R.: So, who is it this time, Dad? Who you trying to con into believing that you're a good guy, hmm?

[Music plays]

Babe: Hey, Wes.

Wes: "Hey" back. Where's Krystal?

Babe: She's actually taking the night off to hang with Jenny.

Wes: Yeah? You got some top-secret government papers there?

Babe: Yeah, right.

Wes: Well, you're holding on to them like they're something -- they must be something.

Babe: It's nothing really. It's some -- well, maybe it is to me. It's just, um -- I -- um -- I got my high school diploma. See? That's me -- Arabella Carey. I passed my GED. It's just -- I know it's not earth-shattering, it's just I was really excited to show Mama. What?

Wes: Huh?

Babe: You're kind of staring at me.

Wes: Oh. I'm sorry. It's just -- huh -- you know, you're this big person up at the cosmetic place and a part owner of this bar. I just figured you were an MBA, a Ph.D maybe.

Babe: Oh. I'm flattered, thank you.

Wes: Yeah, you're pretty amazing. Oh, yeah, I know -- "Shut up, Wes." I tend to talk too much, so next time, just go ahead and give me a smack. It'll be ok.

Babe: I don't think that'll be necessary.

Wes: No?

Singer: Wish I could just run along with you

Jonathan: So, you know what you want?

Ava: Yeah -- sex on the beach.

Wes: Hey, guys, what can I get for you? Hey, I know you. You're that model I've seen on TV.

Ava: Yeah? That's right, that's me -- face of Fusion.

Wes: Yeah, I saw you at that surprise party -- I was working the other night.

Ava: Oh, really? Well, why didn't you say hi or anything?

Wes: Well, I didn't want to bother you.

Ava: Oh, God, it's no bother at all.

Wes: Ahem -- so, what do you guys want to drink?

Greenlee: Spilled my secret -- at least have the guts to admit to it.

[Aidan sighs]

Aidan: I didn't say anything to Jack about Hilliard.

Greenlee: All those lectures, Aidan, about owning up, taking responsibility for my actions -- blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. You are a hypocrite. I don't know why I tell you anything.

Aidan: Because you love me?

Greenlee: Not in this lifetime.

Aidan: But, really, I didn't say anything to Jack, you are the one that did.

Greenlee: Right, ok, don't even go there.

Aidan: What, you don't believe me? You were in the hospital with that broken rib, remember?

Greenlee: Did you two agree to this cover-up story, because Jack tried to blame me, too.

Aidan: Really?

Greenlee: Mm-hmm.

Aidan: Well, did Jack, you know, fill you in on how much pain medication you were on? I'm talking loads of it. You were so stoned that every thought that you had that came to your mind just came spewing out of your mouth.

Greenlee: Yeah, I'm sure.

Aidan: No, really, you were so doped up that I actually liked you.

Greenlee: What, you don't normally like me?

Aidan: What do you think?

Greenlee: I asked you first.

Aidan: Well, I know you like me.

Greenlee: Ha!

Aidan: No, when you were high, you said that I was hot.

Greenlee: Ok, now you're the one who's high.

Aidan: In fact, you -- um -- you said a few other things, too.

Greenlee: Like what?

Aidan: You said loads of things, Greenlee, all right, but they were all good. I mean, you were actually quite funny, and you were a bit emotional. I liked you. In fact, I'm just going to come out and say it. I do like you.

Ryan: Spike can -- can hear? What do you -- what happened?

Kendall: Listen, listen, Zach and I were out here, and -- and a lamp hit the floor. Spike started to cry, and he heard it. He heard the lamp, Ryan, I know he heard it.

Ryan: Kendall --

Kendall: He did.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: No, listen -- listen to me. Do you know what this means?

Ryan: Well, we don't know anything yet, Kendall.

Kendall: Well, I do, I do, I do. This means that he's cured. I knew that he would be cured all along, I knew it.

Ryan: Ok, Kendall, slow down. Just slow down, all right, because Spike could've started crying for another reason.

Zach: Dr. Norton's on his way.

Kendall: It's ok, honey, listen to Mama.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: Come on. Old MacDonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o and on that farm he had a come on, Spikey.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: Come on, what did he have? I don't want Dr. Norton. I want Dr. Hilliard. Please, Zach. Come on, Spike.

Donovan: Where is this coming from, Erica? You and I were good friends once. We always treated each other with respect.

Erica: That was before I found out that you're the phony who's -- who's trying to take advantage of my daughter.

Donovan: Your daughter?

Erica: Kendall Slater and her little boy Spike?

Donovan: I see.

Erica: No, I doubt that very much.

Donovan: Well, Spike is a wonderful little boy.

Erica: Yes, Spike is a wonderful little boy -- and I plan to do everything I possibly can to keep you away from him.

Donovan: Oh, Erica.

Erica: You know something, Don, I really did have sympathy for you at one point when we were together in betty ford. You addicted to painkillers -- you admitted that, you -- you did that with such complete honesty and -- and courage. And I really admired your strength, your determination to try to kick that habit and rebuild your life -- even after your medical license was -- was suspended.

Donovan: Well, my license has been reinstated, and I'm still a doctor.

Erica: No, you're not. You're somebody who's peddling false hope to people who are desperate and people who are vulnerable.

Donovan: It is not false hope, Erica. I believe very strongly in the work that I do.

Erica: Oh. Wow. You are just shameless.

Donovan: I went into rehab to get clean. I came out a changed man.

Erica: A con man.

Donovan: Treatment isn't just about kicking drugs -- you know that. It's about spiritual awakening, and for me, that meant opening my eyes and seeing the alternatives. I still wanted to heal people, but in a new way, a more enlightened way.

Erica: Oh, cut the bull. You're a fraud, Don, and I have the power, the ability, the desire, and the television show to bring you down.

[Music plays]

Wes: Ok, beer for the gentleman, soda for the lady, and an order of chili fries.

Ava: I got to pee.

Jonathan: I didn't order those.

Wes: Yeah, well, they're on me. It's sort of my way of saying I'm sorry if you thought I was hitting on your girl. It's the first thing they teach you, you know, as a bartender.

Jonathan: Right -- to be friendly. You make more tips that way. I know, I used to pour.

Wes: Well, look, this is a new gig for me, I'm just trying to meet the customers.

Jonathan: Don't worry about it. Ava -- she's -- she's new to the whole fame thing, so if anybody recognizes her, she gets excited.

Wes: Well, I'm Wes, by the way.

Jonathan: Jonathan.

Wes: So, we cool, Jonathan?

Jonathan: Yeah.

Wes: I don't know what it is about this town, but there are certainly some good-looking women here.

Singer: No matter what they say

Greenlee: So you like me stoned? I guess that's a compliment.

Aidan: Not just stoned.

Greenlee: Thank you. I mean, you're all right, too -- when you're not pissing me off.

Aidan: That's a good one. Yeah, we could put that in a greeting card.

Greenlee: So, did I really blab to Jack all about Hilliard?

Aidan: Yeah.

Greenlee: Oh -- great. Just great. I am such an idiot. How could I? Oh.

Aidan: Listen, it's not the worst thing in the world, all right?

Greenlee: I told Jack. Jack told Erica. I need a drink.

[Spike cries]

Zach: Let Norton look at him, and then we'll go to Hilliard. All right?

Ryan: Huh -- Spike's in his playpen.

Zach: Thanks for coming so quickly.

Dr. Norton: Mrs. Slater, your husband filled me in over the phone.

Zach: Let him do his job, come on.

Dr. Norton: Hey, Spike, buddy. How you feeling today, huh?

Kendall: No -- I have to.

Donovan: Well, take your best shot, Erica.

Erica: Oh, I plan to.

Donovan: You're not the first person to try to shut me down.

Erica: By the time I'm through, you will never practice medicine again.

Donovan: I have nothing to hide. The facts are irrefutable. The information is published.

Erica: You're a phony -- that is the only fact.

Donovan: If that were true, don't you think they would've shut me down long ago?

Erica: Absolutely not. I think when people are in pain and they're afraid, they're very easy to prey on. You can sell them all sorts of empty promises, and, apparently, you are very adept at finding those people.

Donovan: You know, when you were in rehab, you were so receptive, so open-minded. What happened?

Erica: When I see a scam artist preying on my vulnerable daughter and her suffering for his own selfish purposes, you know what -- I'm no longer open-minded. I watched Kendall become a mother twice, and each time she went through hell, and she is still going through hell. So I will not allow you or anyone else to take advantage of her. Does that answer your question?

Donovan: You have made your position very clear.

Erica: Well, thank God my daughter Kendall has also made her position very clear. I am so glad that she had the good common sense not to get involved with you and allow you to start treating Spike.

[Phone rings]

Donovan: Excuse me. Hello? Kendall. No, now is a -- a perfect time.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: We did it, Dr. Hilliard. Spike can hear.

Donovan: Are you sure? We aren't scheduled to start actual treatments for a couple of days.

Kendall: Yes, listen, we -- we knocked a lamp over and -- and it made a loud, crashing sound, and Spike started crying. It woke him up.

Donovan: Well, that's very promising news.

Kendall: I know it's late, but do you mind coming over and taking a look at him now, please?

Donovan: Of course. I'll be right there.

Erica: You're treating Spike?

Donovan: Well, we've only just started, but it looks like we're already getting some results.

Erica: What kind of results?

Donovan: Your daughter said Spike might've regained his hearing. Come to Kendall's with me, see for yourself -- I'm no fraud.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: So what do you think?

Dr. Norton: How long has he had this rash on his belly?

Kendall and Zach: What rash?

Kendall: Yeah, no, I -- this is the first I've seen of it. What does a rash have to do with Spike reacting to a noise?

Dr. Norton: Well, I don't think he was reacting to --

[Crying stops]

Kendall: What happened? What just happened? What -- what's wrong with him? What happened?

Ryan: He's not -- he's not breathing, do something!

Kendall: Doctor, help him!

Kendall: Spikey, come on, baby. Come on, baby, breathe!

Ryan: Do something, he's not breathing!

Kendall: Come on, honey, breathe, Spikey. Come on -- what is that? What is that? Ok, what are you doing?

Zach: Let him do his job.

Kendall: What are you doing? What's going on?

Ryan: Come on, come on, come on.

Kendall: Is he ok?

Dr. Norton: Spike is having an anaphylactic reaction.

Ryan: Is -- is he breathing?

Kendall: Oh, my God, help him! Please help him! Please, Spikey --

Ryan: What does that mean? What is --

Kendall: I don't know.

Ryan: Is he --

Dr. Norton: Come on, breathe, Spike.

Ryan: Come on, Spike, come on.

Kendall: Come on, baby.

Dr. Norton: Breathe.

Ryan: Come on, come on!

Kendall: Come on, baby! Come on, my baby, breathe.

[Spike cries]

Ryan: Ah --

Zach: Oh --

Kendall: Ok, ok, come on, baby. Come on -- come on, my baby, come on, my sweet prince. Ok. You're ok.

Ryan: Oh, thank God.

[Crying stops]

Ryan: Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God.

Kendall: Ok, baby. You're ok. Thank God. My baby -- ok, baby.

Adam: Thanks for stopping by. Ahem.

[J.R. chuckles]

Stuart: I can help you talk to J.R.

Adam: I can handle it, Stuart.

Stuart: Tell him the truth -- you're doing this, because you love your family. He's -- he's family. He'll understand.

Adam: Goodbye, Stuart.

Stuart: Uh -- bye.

Adam: Now, tell me what you want, or get out.

J.R.: I have a business proposition for you. I mean, but if you're late to your masquerade party --

[J.R. laughs]

Adam: I got the joke the first time around, J.R.

J.R.: Sorry, it's just -- you know --

Adam: You have a business proposition -- what is it?

J.R.: Yeah, ok -- ahem. All right -- ahem -- all women want to look prettier, right? They want to be younger, sexier, more stylish. Imagine this, Dad -- imagine an online network where women could go any time to stay on top of their game, hmm?

Adam: What do you know about women's fashions?

J.R.: Not a damn thing. But I do know women, and I know they would eat this sort of thing up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I was figuring we could use Ava as a centerpiece -- I mean, just at the start --

Adam: Wait -- Ava?

J.R.: Yeah, yeah, you know -- Ava?

Adam: You have a business proposition that involves that trollop? Count me out.

[Music plays]

Ava: Oh.

Babe: You all right?

Ava: Uh -- yeah, I'm fine. Just my stomach hurts. Probably should've passed on those chili fries, huh?

Babe: Might not be a bad idea to pass on a few other things, as well.

Ava: Ok, yeah, if you lecture me right now, I really am going to puke everywhere.

Babe: All I'm saying is take it easy. I -- you don't have to go to every party, and just try to get a good night's sleep every once in a while.

Ava: Ok, I got it, Ma, thanks.

Babe: No offense, but you look awful.

Ava: Ok, well, my fans don't agree. So you can take your opinions and your advice -- oh --

Singer: When I was young I wasn't all that cool

Greenlee: If paranoia is thinking the whole world is out to get you, what is it when you think you're out to get yourself?

Aidan: Solophrenia. Freud coined the term in 1922.

Greenlee: Wow. For real?

Aidan: No. No, I made it up, but it sounded good, though, didn't it?

Greenlee: No. I hate you.

Aidan: No -- you think I'm hot.

Greenlee: Oh --

Aidan: What is that?

Greenlee: Oh, it's a -- it's a locket, I found it on the beach. There's a broken watch on one side and an inscription on the other.

Aidan: Wow. "Forever." I guess not.

Greenlee: What does that mean?

Aidan: Well, the poor sucker that bought this obviously got it all wrong -- probably wants his money back.

Greenlee: No, it's romantic! I mean, haven't you ever read "The Gift of the Magi"?

Aidan: I must've missed that one -- no.

Greenlee: Ok, there is this young couple -- they're totally broke, but they are madly, "madly" in love, and the wife for Christmas decides that she's going to buy her husband a chain for his beloved pocket watch. So, to pay for it, she cuts off all of her long, beautiful hair and sells it.

Aidan: And the husband takes one look at her and asked for -- for a divorce.

Greenlee: No -- the husband sells his watch to buy his wife some combs for her long, beautiful hair, only, of course, he doesn't know that she's cut it all off.

Aidan: So they both lost, then?

Greenlee: No -- everyone wins. I mean, love wins! Even after everything --

Aidan: Ahem.

Greenlee: Their love is as strong as ever. I bet you that there's some couple out there searching desperately for this symbol of their eternal devotion.

Aidan: See, I see it like this -- I think that the guy caught the girl having it off with a cabin boy on his yacht. So he clubs them both to death, throws them overboard, and just tosses the watch in the ocean.

Greenlee: Yeah. Exactly, Aidan. That is exactly what happened. You are such a guy.

Kendall: Tell me that Spike is ok.

Dr. Norton: Well, he gave us a little scare, but he's going to be all right.

Ryan: Hello.

Joe: Thank you for calling me. Anaphylaxis?

Dr. Norton: Yeah.

Joe: Yeah. Well, thank heaven you got Dr. Norton over here as quickly as you did. Without that epinephrine shot, Spike could've died.

Dr. Norton: You're going to need to keep an extra dose of that around in case this happens again.

Ryan: Uh, what was it that happened, exactly?

Joe: Well, the rash and the fever indicate an allergic reaction.

Zach: To what?

Joe: We don't know that yet. Children's allergies are a very tricky thing, so, unfortunately, we can't even be aware that they exist and investigate the cause until the reaction actually takes place.

Ryan: But it happened so incredibly quickly. I mean, he turned blue in a second.

Joe: Yeah, well, if the allergy is severe enough, you know, it can provoke anaphylaxis, as it did here. You know, in fact, can happen in a matter of seconds.

Zach: Can you narrow it down?

Annie: When Emma was younger, I thought she might be allergic to nuts. The doctor did a skin test. Turned out she was fine.

Joe: Mm-hmm. Have you made any recent changes in Spike's diet?

Ryan: Not that I know of. Kendall, anything?

Kendall: Just -- just some vitamins, that -- that's it.

Ryan: Hmm.

Kendall: Does this mean that Spike can't hear? I -- I was so sure that he was crying because the lamp broke.

Joe: Yeah, yeah. I know what you're hoping for, Kendall. We will test Spike again.

Kendall: But when? How soon?

Joe: Well, when he's ready. But you have to understand there are going to be incidents like this again, you know, whether it's wishful thinking, coincidence, whatnot -- I think that's what it was in this case.

Kendall: No, you -- you don't know that for sure, Joe.

Joe: I know. But the thing is whenever Spike has a reaction that you can't explain, you're going to be jumping to thinking he can hear. That's -- that's what you want -- it's perfectly understandable.

Kendall: Yeah, but I -- I know that something happened. I -- I know -- I'm -- Zach, tell him I'm not making this up.

Zach: That's not what he's saying.

Joe: Now, you do have to understand that Spike has all his other senses. So he will be responding to sights and smells, even though he can't hear anything.

Ryan: Is -- is it true that -- you know, what they say, that the other senses are enhanced to make up for the loss of hearing?

Annie: It happened with my father.

Ryan: Yeah.

Kendall: An allergy? That's all this is? This is -- this is just an allergy -- that -- that's it?

Zach: Kendall, come on.

Kendall: No, I -- I need an answer, please. Is there hope for my son?

Zach: There's always hope.

Joe: Why don't you tell me about these vitamins that you've been giving him.

Kendall: Um -- just -- I put a few drops in his milk, that's it.

Joe: Well, if the vitamins are the only change you've made in Spike's diet, they may well be what brought on the reaction. May I see them, please?

Ryan: Are these the vitamins that you got straight from Hilliard?

Joe: There are no -- no ingredients listed. We have to know what's in here before we can isolate the allergen.

Donovan: Kendall, what's going on?

Ryan: What the hell did you do to my son? What's in the vitamins you gave Spike?

Donovan: Uh -- nothing unusual.

Ryan: What is in them?

Donovan: I've been using that formula for years.

Ryan: My son almost died.

Erica: What? Oh, my God!

Zach: Spike had an allergic reaction.

Annie: He's ok now.

Joe: There are no ingredients listed.

Donovan: Well, it's a -- a blend of B-complex, antioxidants, and essential fatty acids -- I'll give you a detailed list.

Joe: Oh, please do, and as soon as possible.

Donovan: I gather this means that Spike has not regained his hearing?

Ryan: That's right -- your potion didn't cure him, it almost killed him.

Zach: Ok.

Donovan: Well, Kendall gave me Spike's medical records, and I went over them very carefully. There was no mention of allergies.

Ryan: Mm-hmm.

Erica: Maybe that's because no one has ever given Spike snake oil before.

Joe: It may not be the vitamins.

Ryan: Come on, Joe.

Joe: No, no, no, I'm serious. Children are susceptible to a whole wide range of allergies, and we won't know that this is what brought on the reaction until we run some tests.

Donovan: Well, I'll write you down a complete list of ingredients right now. I never claimed that my program was a -- a magic cure, just an alternative.

Erica: I know this man. Listen to me, don't believe a word that he says.

Kendall: Oh, my God. I did. I did believe him -- and it almost cost me my son.

J.R.: You haven't even heard my idea, and you're already shooting it down.

Adam: Well, I have a policy against doing business with drug addicts.

J.R.: You did business with me -- I'm an addict.

Adam: Well, then let me clarify -- trashy, two-timing, nonrecovering drug addicts.

J.R.: Which, if I'm not mistaken, you hired to plant drugs on Sean. Guess you found God since then, huh, Dad?

Adam: This conversation is over.

J.R.: Look -- ok, Ava is a lot to deal with, she'd be a handful, but we can make millions on her. It's like discovering Michael Jordan in grade school.

Adam: Ha! You laughed at me earlier for -- for being ridiculous. This is inspired lunacy.

J.R.: We have a chance to grab Ava before anyone else sees how big she's going to get.

Adam: Do you have a thing for this girl?

J.R.: What? Of course not.

Adam: Hmm? You don't have to build a corporation to get Ava into bed. Just buy her a pack of gum.

[Adam laughs]

J.R.: That is not what this is about. If you'd just shut up and listen for once.

Adam: Hmm.

J.R.: I don't know what it is about Ava, but people can't seem to take their eyes off of her.

Adam: Yeah, well, it's kind of like a train wreck.

J.R.: Like a magnet.

Adam: For trouble.

J.R.: Publicity. It's not about who Ava is. It's about what she can sell. Ok. When Babe and Krystal and Colby were living in the house, every closet and drawer was jam-packed with things to make them prettier.

Adam: Yeah, don't remind me.

J.R.: So picture every Babe, Colby, and Krystal going to one destination -- an online network where they can hear, talk, see, spend money on beauty. Ava can bring us the customers, we take the cash. I'm giving you the opportunity to get in on the ground floor with me.

Adam: Thanks, but I'll still pass. I'd like to make you a counteroffer.

J.R.: If this is about Chandler --

Adam: It is about Chandler, but it's big, it's very big.

J.R.: Ok, well, that's -- that's your deal, not mine.

Adam: I have a plan in the works to get back everything that Slater stole from us.

J.R.: That's great. That's great. But once again, I am not part of the company!

Adam: Well, you -- you've been away too long. It's time for you to come back and join us again.

J.R.: Oh, yeah, yeah -- so I can fall in line and remember who the boss is?

Adam: I'm offering you a genuine partnership.

J.R.: Oh, come on, Dad. We both know there's only one Chandler who will ever run Chandler Enterprises -- and that's never going to be me.

Greenlee: You always such a downer?

Aidan: I'm just, you know, speaking from experience.

Greenlee: What, "life sucks, all relationships are doomed"?

Aidan: Oh, I don't know. Let me think -- there was -- yeah, pretty much.

Greenlee: Well, Mr. Cynical, I disagree. I think this locket is connected to a beautiful love story -- one that may not even be over yet.

Aidan: See, I think it's connected to something evil.

Greenlee: Ok. You're on. What are the stakes?

Aidan: Oh, stakes?

Greenlee: Uh-huh.

Aidan: You -- um, something leather, some whipped cream.

Greenlee: No.

Aidan: No?

Greenlee: The loser has to watch the winner's favorite movie. If I win -- "Steel Magnolias."

Aidan: I've never heard of it.

Greenlee: Oh, my gosh, you cry and cry, and just when you think you have no tears left, you cry some more -- it's fabulous. If you win, we're going to watch some whatever spy flick.

Aidan: "Spy flick"?

Greenlee: Mm-hmm.

Aidan: Oh, because I'm -- because I'm a guy? How about horror?

Greenlee: Oh, right.

Aidan: "Hostel" or "saw" --

Greenlee: Because you're not a guy?

Aidan: Something really scary?

[Greenlee laughs]

Greenlee: Fine. Whatever. So, how do we find out the mystery behind this locket?

Babe: So how are you and Jonathan?

Ava: We're good. But we're not shopping for a wedding dress or anything, if that's what you're thinking.

Babe: Are you guys -- um --

Ava: Are we what?

Babe: Are you having sex?

Ava: Private. Jeez.

Babe: I don't want the details, believe me, I just -- I'm just wondering if you're being safe. Look, I'm not judging you, Ava, I'm just asking. Is it possible that you could be pregnant?

Adam: I want you back on my team.

J.R.: You're not listening to me, Dad -- as usual. I'm done with Chandler.

Adam: All right, all right, let's talk incentives. What if I -- how about if I paid off that yacht you bought?

J.R.: How did you know about that?

Adam: Huh. Well, when you spend a lot of money on something and use only the Chandler name and no cash, people make phone calls. Um -- I thought it was identity theft, but we found out that you really bought that boat.

J.R.: It was a mistake --

Adam: Well --

J.R.: Coming here tonight. Letting you in on my idea -- it was a huge mistake! You know, six months from now, a year from now, every CEO is going to be kicking himself for not coming up with this idea first.

Adam: Huh.

J.R.: You're going to remember our little conversation, and you're going to be kicking yourself even harder.

Adam: That girl is a disaster. Only a fool would -- would invest in her.

J.R.: It would take work, I know that, but I'm willing to do it, because I know that it will pay off.

Adam: Impossible.

[J.R. sighs]

J.R.: Oh -- you know, when I was a kid, you used to have me take a look around this place, see what you built from nothing, nothing but your own belief in yourself. How could a dirt-poor coal miner's son from Pigeon Hollow amount to anything? "Impossible" -- that's what everyone said. But you had a bigger and better dream, and you were out to prove everyone wrong, and you did it. Well, guess what -- I have the same dream, and I'm going to make it happen, just like you did.

Joe: I've known a number of practitioners like Hilliard over the years.

Ryan: So this guy's a fake?

Joe: Well, technically, Hilliard hasn't broken any laws. I mean, his kind are very careful about that, because some of them are very sincere about what they're doing. They really believe they can help. Others, though, take advantage of people like Kendall, you know, who are desperate for a miracle.

Ryan: Well, that ends now.

Donovan: Here is a list of ingredients.

Joe: Mm-hmm.

Donovan: I'm glad that Spike's ok.

Ryan: If you come anywhere near my son again anywhere --

Donovan: I understand. I'm very sorry that it turned out this way. I only wanted to help.

Kendall: I'm sorry, baby.

Annie: It's not your fault.

Erica: No, honey, everything's going to be ok, yes.

Kendall: I just -- I just thought that they were vitamins. I thought that they would help him. I don't understand this.

Erica: Oh, you will, honey, you will, just as soon as you find out how Dr. Hilliard knew about Spike in the first place.

Adam: You'll never do what I did.

J.R.: Oh, here we go.

Adam: Mm-hmm. You don't have the slightest clue what it means to really work for something.

J.R.: Oh, I've worked.

Adam: Oh, you mean that year-long vacation you took on that tramp steamer? That was a -- that was a lark, son, that was a rich boy's dalliance. I was in a coal mine. And I was picking and scratching, working all day, breathing in that black dirt into my lungs, went home at night filthy, exhausted. Got up the next morning, did it again -- and again and again and again. I didn't have a mansion to come back to when I got a little bored with it. I didn't have a trust fund, I didn't have a daddy to bail me out.

J.R.: I gave you back your stock, and I moved out of your house.

Adam: Huh -- what a sacrifice. Are you -- you've never known the feeling of hunger, have you? No. You got the brains maybe, but you don't have the drive.

J.R.: You're wrong.

Adam: After the hell you just put me through, I'm offering you another chance. Where is your damn gratitude?

J.R.: I don't need you. I don't need you. I'm going to end up making this work my way. And when I do, you're going to be the one "begging me" for another chance.

[Music plays]

Ava: So what, I feel like puking? It doesn't mean that I'm so much of an idiot that I get knocked up.

Babe: You don't have to be an idiot to make a mistake.

Ava: Look, I -- I know what I'm doing, ok? I -- it's just a stomach bug, and it'll pass. Just back off. Hey -- hey, are you ready? Let's go. Let's just get going.

Jonathan: What's wrong?

Ava: Uh -- nothing, but can we go by the pharmacy and get some stomach stuff? I just -- I don't feel good.

Jonathan: Are you ok?

Ava: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go.

Singer: First, I tell her then I show her all the things I can do it always seems so right

Babe: What?

Singer: To walk away

Wes: For your GED.

Babe: Oh! "Congrats" -- oh, my gosh!

Greenlee: I've got it.

Aidan: What's that?

Greenlee: I'll hire you to figure out the mystery -- I mean, you're a detective.

Aidan: Private investigator, actually.

Greenlee: Well, Mr. Private Investigator --

[Aidan whistles]

Greenlee: Investigate. You're officially on the case. Find out everything there is to know about that locket.

Erica: That man may have been a decent doctor at one point -- maybe, but not anymore.

Ryan: You know Hilliard?

Erica: We met at the Betty Ford Center. We were both in rehab together. He lost his medical license because he prescribed painkillers to himself.

Zach: So how did he find us?

Erica: Someone told him about Spike, and that same person paid him to contact Kendall.

Ryan: Who?

Erica: Greenlee.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

J.R. (to Jonathan): I can help you help Ava make all of her dreams come true.

Ava (to Babe): Are you trying to fire me or lecture me?

Kendall (to Zach): Am I supposed to pretend that this didn't happen. That Spike didn't almost die?

Ryan (to Greenlee): I am going to tell you what your life is going to be like from now on, and it's not pretty.

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