AMC Transcript Tuesday 8/28/07

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 8/28/07


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Annie: We keep saying that we're all family. Why don't Ryan, Emma, and I move in with you? I mean, you have so much extra room in that beautiful house of yours and -- and that way, if you have to go to the hospital to see Ian, Ryan and I are already there to watch Spike.

Kendall: You would do that for me?

Annie: For us. You get extra help, Emma gets extra time with her brother, and most importantly, Spike gets to be with his mom and his dad. Everybody wins.

Zach: What do you think?

Ryan: No way in hell.

Aidan: You can keep walking, Greenlee, but I'm right behind you.

Greenlee: What part of "leave me alone" do you not get?

Aidan: How did you know I went to see Dr. Hilliard and I was at his office, huh?

Greenlee: I'm psychic.

Aidan: What is your connection with him?

Greenlee: Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it?

Aidan: You know what? It matters to me, because I'm supposed to be a private detective, remember?

Greenlee: Well, get a dog or a hobby, Aidan. Do something useful with your life.

Aidan: Listen -- you blew my cover, and I want to know why.

Greenlee: I was there, ok? I was in his office when you showed up. Kendall in the first place, and now, thanks to you, Dr. Hilliard is off the case. Now, because of you, Dr. Hilliard is not going to help Spike, so thank you very much!

Zach: So you think it's a bad idea?

Ryan: Spike is just as familiar with our place as he is with your place. Moving is not the answer.

Kendall: Ok, Ryan, it would only be temporary.

Ryan: Is that what you were thinking?

Annie: Of course.

Ryan: Well, then somebody has to define "temporary" for me because I, personally, don't see our situation changing any time soon.

Annie: I want to do this for Kendall, and for us.

Ryan: So you've said.

Annie: What, you don't believe me?

Ryan: Well, it's just that a little while ago, you were talking about kicking Spike out of the place.

Annie: No, but that's -- that's not how I said it, Ryan.

Ryan: And now, all of a sudden, you want to open up a commune?

Annie: You said yourself that Kendall's been going through a lot lately. If we can help take that weight off her shoulders, why shouldn't we?

Kendall: Ryan? It would mean so much to me.

Annie: We're a team, remember? We're a family -- that's what you've been saying. It's -- it's the four of us and our kids. We need to all be together, for Spike, for Ian.

Ryan: And, obviously, for you.

Annie: That's right -- for me, too.

Ryan: Why?

Annie: I've explained this.

Ryan: Why do I get the feeling that there's more to it, Annie?

Annie: There isn't.

Ryan: Ok -- teamwork, right? So, then why don't we all move in here?

Kendall: Ok, now you're being unreasonable. Come on.

Ryan: Well, does that work for you, Annie? Does it? I mean, if there's not enough room here, we could always buy the Chandler Mansion. Apparently, it's now available.

Annie: I was trying to do something positive, something good, and you're completely turning it upside down

Ryan: All right, ok. Ok. I just -- I just don't think this is the best idea in the world, that's all. All right? Look -- what about you, Zach? You've been awfully quiet. I can't imagine this idea works for you, either. Or am I wrong about that?

Lily: Hi, Jonathan.

Jonathan: Hi, lily. Where are Kendall and Spike?

Lily: Oh, Kendall's with Zach, and Spike went home with Ryan and Annie.

Jonathan: Well, that's some good news. What are you doing here?

Lily: I'm working.

Jonathan: In Kendall's room?

Lily: I'm transferring files from the server to Zach's laptop. He got 42 e-mails today alone, and I -- I read reports and write summaries, so he doesn't have to do as much work while Ian's sick.

Jonathan: He's very lucky to have you.

Lily: He's way behind. He hasn't been in the office since the accident. By the way, I'm really sorry about Ava.

Jonathan: Ava? What are you sorry about?

Lily: That she's a lesbian. I saw it on a local blog a minute ago. That means Amanda's a lesbian, too, huh?

Amanda: What the hell were you thinking? You want your career to be a joke, some sketchy smut show?

Ava: Are we done yet, Mom?

Amanda: You think this is cool?

Ava: Yeah, sure -- why not?

Amanda: Making out with random people, especially me, just to get attention?

Ava: Well, I got it, didn't I?

Amanda: Huh. Well, what's next, Ava -- the homemade sex tape? You're impossible!

Ava: No, I am successful, something that you wouldn't know much about.

Amanda: Listen to me, you stupid little bitch. You don't want to take advice from smart people who actually give a damn about you, fine.

J.R.: Let's not interrupt them.

Amanda: Ok, you can shave your head, lose your dog, go to rehab -- whatever. Pull whatever stunt you want, I don't care, ok? But you will not pull this crap with me.

[Country music plays]

J.R.: Hello, ladies!

Krystal: Well, hello there.

Colby: Hey.

J.R.: I'll take a tall glass of your finest aged club soda.

Colby: Oh.

Krystal: Aged club soda -- sounds delish.

Tad: I'll take something a little stronger.

Krystal: Ok. Hey, did Jamie's plane get off ok?

J.R.: Yeah, and next stop -- Africa.

Colby: That is awesome!

Krystal: How you doing, Tad?

Tad: Yeah, I'm fine.

Krystal: Uh-huh.

Tad: Yeah, come on. I mean, it's the chance of a lifetime, right? What father wouldn't be thrilled?

Krystal: Jamie will do you proud.

Tad: He always has.

J.R.: Well, Brooke says she wants to put him on the cover of "Tempo" next month.

Tad: Yeah, speaking of which, what -- what happened to your party?

Krystal: Oh, don't ask.

Tad: Uh -- I'm asking. I want to know if it got even more out of control after I left.

Krystal: Oh.

J.R.: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where was this party? Why wasn't I invited?

Colby: Yeah, I was too late for all the fun.

Krystal: Yeah, you're getting enough fun as it is, young lady. Don't even go there.

[Raspberry beeps]

[J.R. chuckles]

J.R.: Oh, yeah. Would you look at this.

Amanda: You know, keep this up, Ava. Six months from now, no one's going to want anything to do with you.

Ava: Oh, right -- you wish.

Amanda: I know. You'll be begging to be on some C-list reality show and you won't even get that. It's your life.

Ava: That's right, it's my life. It's going to be back in the news where it belongs.

Amanda: Good. Then keep the spotlight on you. Don't drag me into it by playing spin the bottle with the cameras. Do you ever think of anyone but yourself? Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to see your tongue down my throat when I go to eat breakfast tomorrow?

Ava: Ok, you are freaking out. You need to calm down, take it from, like, a 7, to, like, a 2.

Amanda: Do you want to see a 10?

Ava: They do have pills for that, you know.

J.R.: Looking good, ladies.

[J.R. chuckles]

J.R.: Looking real good.

Amanda: Not now, J.R.

J.R.: What? I'm just trying to get a good seat for the next show.

Amanda: You saw the picture, I take it?

J.R.: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let me ask you -- was it just a little experimentation or was it just for fun, or you guys rely having a little something-something going on? Hmm?

[J.R. chuckles]

Singer: Cheek to cheek and a heart-to-heart

Ryan: So what do you say, Zach? Are you ready for this? Are you ready for all of us to be living in one house?

Zach: Step into my office.

Ryan: Ok. Where's your office?

Zach: Man to man, let's sort it out. Come on.

Ryan: Don't pack your bags.

Kendall: Come on. Come on, sweetie. Thank you.

Annie: Don't thank me yet. You saw Ryan.

Kendall: Well, however it turns out, I just want you to know that I'm grateful. I know you're making a huge sacrifice.

Annie: It's ok, Kendall -- really. It's for all of us.

Ryan: All right, Zach.

Zach: Ahem.

Ryan: Man to man, I will not be part of some insane arrangement because Kendall wants it that way.

Zach: Annie suggested it.

Ryan: I think it's pretty clear how I feel about this.

Zach: Yeah -- no, I know. You don't want to do it. You know what? I don't want to play house with you, either.

Ryan: All right. Great, well, then what's the problem? I don't understand. We keep Spike here, like you two agreed already, and you guys visit him whenever you want.

Zach: Kendall needs this.

Ryan: I realize that. I know that she's been through hell, but all I'm saying is that Spike has been through hell, too, and the last thing he needs is a circus in his life right now.

Zach: I know. I got it. And we all love Spike, and we all love Kendall. And what she needs right now is to be with her two boys.

Ryan: And all of us under one roof?

Zach: Oh.

Ryan: For how long?

Zach: I can't answer that.

Ryan: I know you can't -- that's the point. She's not thinking clearly right now, Zach. She's so far gone, she's off the map, all right? I -- I bring up the cochlear implant, and what does she do? She runs off to some miracle doctor, and now she wants us all to live together? What's next?

Zach: I don't know. Just -- just try to give her a break.

Ryan: I'm trying. I know she's stressed, but I'm telling you right now, this is only enabling her. It's not going to help anybody.

Greenlee: And then, big, dumb you walks into Hilliard's office and here we are -- busted.

Aidan: Well, at least now it makes sense.

Greenlee: Oh, good. I'm glad it makes sense to someone. You know, I had this whole thing under control. I wrote the doc a big check, Spike was going to get help --

Aidan: It doesn't matter how many checks you write. You could write a million checks, Greenlee, and we'd still be right here.

Greenlee: Why don't you tell that to Spike? Oh, wait -- you can't. He's deaf.

Aidan: You can't carry on like this, Greenlee, all right? It has to stop, not just for them, but for your sake.

Greenlee: What do you know, Aidan? I mean, have you ever been responsible for anyone but yourself?

Aidan: This isn't about me, is it?

Greenlee: Spike had a chance with Hilliard.

Aidan: Maybe.

Greenlee: And I had a chance to help, so I took it.

Aidan: Why didn't you just send Kendall the doctor's information, or better still, you could call Ryan and give him Hilliard's CV.

Greenlee: No. If they knew that Hilliard came from me in any way, shape, or form, they would've blown it off. Kendall would've spit on me. Oh.

Aidan: Yeah, but, you -- you don't know that.

Greenlee: Yeah, I do. It doesn't matter now. It's -- it's over.

Aidan: You really wanted this, didn't you?

Greenlee: Have you heard anything I've said?

Aidan: I listen to everything you say.

Greenlee: Liar.

Aidan: No, not this time. I screwed up. Does that make you happy?

Greenlee: Yeah. What do you think -- do I look happy?

Aidan: I walked into a situation full of unknowns, and I got busted. I should've been way more prepared.

Greenlee: So this is about you, then?

Aidan: I made a mistake.

Greenlee: Right, I forgot -- perfect Aidan. Well, you should try my life. I make mistakes all the time.

Aidan: Whew. Oh.

Greenlee: What are you doing?

Aidan: I'm going to go for a swim, 10-ks. That's what I do when I screw up.

Greenlee: Me, I just grab a bottle of tequila and make an ass of myself.

Aidan: It's about 200 yards out there. That's when I'll remember.

Greenlee: Remember what?

Aidan: Not to make another mistake.

Greenlee: You're really serious about this. Care to share?

Aidan: No, not really.

Greenlee: Come on. I told you mine, you tell me yours.

Aidan: Ok. When I was in SAS training, I had this bastard of a captain, and he would take our worst fear, and he would punish us with it.

Greenlee: What was yours?

Aidan: Swimming in lakes.

Greenlee: Like Loch Ness Monster or something?

Aidan: Eels. I can't stand eels.

Greenlee: Oh, you're kidding. That's what you're afraid of?

Aidan: Listen, have you ever had a little sea snake swim up your shorts?

Greenlee: Oh --

Aidan: Yeah, because you didn't.

Greenlee: No. No, no, no. Ok, I got it, I got it. You're right, yes -- ooh.

Aidan: So whenever I screwed up, I had to swim 10-ks in the lake in the middle of the night.

Greenlee: So, I'm not the only one who punishes myself.

Aidan: Ever since then, if I want to remind myself of the price of making a mistake, I go for a long, hard swim -- minus the eels.

Greenlee: That's harsh.

Aidan: Yeah.

Greenlee: So --

Aidan: Hmm.

Greenlee: You really are one of those James Bond types.

Aidan: Something like that.

Greenlee: So what's the deal? You put a bullet in a man's head and throw on a tux, play some poker?

Aidan: We didn't always wear a tux.

Greenlee: Oh, that's a shame. You'd look stunning.

Aidan: Hmm.

Greenlee: Did you ever kill anyone?

Aidan: Let's just say this -- only the bad people got hurt unless one of us made a mistake.

Greenlee: Did you?

Aidan: You know what? Sod it -- I -- I screwed up today, but at least no one died. All right?

Ryan: Annie wants to help out any way that she can, but moving us all into your place?

Zach: It's not the worst idea out there. I mean, you got Annie -- she's friends with Kendall, and it'd be good for Spike.

Ryan: Yeah -- yeah, but it's your place, yours and Kendall's, and what -- what if I want to teach Spike sign language? Or what if Annie is trying to show Spike something that's going to help him -- what is she going to do -- is she going to flip out? Because I will not hold my son back.

Zach: And you shouldn't. Kendall is fragile right now, and I think you and I both know that she can't take care of Spike on her own, not yet.

Kendall: You think he knows something's going on?

Annie: Maybe. Are you all right?

Kendall: I just want Ryan to go for this. I want Spike back.

Annie: You really don't want him here, do you?

Kendall: I don't want him out of my sight ever again. I mean, being at the hospital and dealing with Ian, missing Spike -- I couldn't. It was like -- it was like I couldn't breathe. I don't know, I don't know. I can't think. I can't. Zach is worried that I am losing it. And, after what I did at the hospital, maybe I am.

Lily: This photo of Ava and Amanda kissing is all over the Internet. See, it's on this site -- oh, and this one, too.

Jonathan: Because two women are kissing does not mean they're lesbians.

Lily: But they're kissing like two people that want to have sex. This doesn't look like family kissing.

Jonathan: No, it doesn't.

Lily: But I thought Ava liked kissing you.

Jonathan: I thought so, too.

Lily: Does she like Amanda more than you?

Jonathan: This -- this has more to do with Ava getting famous.

Lily: So Ava's kissing Amanda because she's famous?

Jonathan: Some people think that you have to do these wild, crazy things in order to stay famous.

Lily: Then I could never be a star, because I don't like to kiss anybody.

Jonathan: Well, you never wanted to be a star.

Lily: That's right -- it would never make any sense.

Jonathan: No. Sometimes -- sometimes I wish that Ava had more of your common sense. Ava just -- she wanted to get her picture taken, so she did something that was obviously going to get into the press.

Lily: Like kissing another girl?

Jonathan: It's for the cameras. It's not because she's interested in Amanda.

Lily: I'm still confused.

Jonathan: Yeah, join the club.

Lily: So Ava's not a lesbian?

Jonathan: No, I'd bet -- no.

Lily: And Amanda is not a lesbian?

Jonathan: No, I don't think so.

Lily: Maybe Ava likes both men and women, or maybe she's not sure who she's attracted to. Maybe she's like ZoŽ.

Jonathan: I think that this was more about Ava wanting to get publicity.

Lily: I still don't understand what this means.

Jonathan: It means I need to have a chat with Ava.

Ava: Yeah, keep gawking at that picture, Chandler, because that's the closest you're going to get to me.

J.R.: Really? Because I was hoping for a little taste of "Girls Gone Wild."

Amanda: Leave it alone, J.R.

Ava: Oh, he can't because his 12-year-old brain won't let him.

J.R.: Are you getting mad? Oh, my God, that's so hot.

Amanda: J.R.

J.R.: Right, I got you. I'll leave you crazy kids alone.

[J.R. chuckles]

Ava: That is so gross. You could do so much better.

Amanda: Ha, coming from you, the new queen of Internet soft porn.

Ava: Oh, come on -- J.R. proved my point. I mean, I gave them something, they ate it up. The buzz is still there.

Amanda: You know what people are buzzing about you? "What the hell is that girl going to do now?" Wouldn't you rather people look at you and say, "I want to be just like her"?

Ava: Huh, just like every other minor, one-hit-wonder celebrity?

Amanda: You think this is all real? Right now, they love you, ok? You're the flavor of the month. The only reason they took that picture is because it might sell a couple of newspapers or get a few hits on a blog. At what price were those pictures taken? How much did you sell out? Ava, at this rate, you're going to be over, ok? Crash and burn.

Ava: Nope, you're wrong, not me. I'm just beginning and I haven't even lit my second stage.

Tad: You know, I wonder if the Martin charm works in Africa.

Krystal: Ah. One continent you haven't conquered yet, huh?

Tad: There's still time.

[Krystal chuckles]

Colby: Jamie won't have time for chicks.

Tad: No. I mean, yeah, you're right. He's going to be too busy saving lives.

Colby: Where, exactly, is Jamie going?

Tad: Uh -- Tanzania. He's going to be involved in a clinical trial with his Uncle Jake.

Krystal: Yep, making the Martin clan proud.

Tad: That, he does.

Krystal: You miss him already, don't you?

Tad: Absolutely. But, on the brighter side, I -- I get to spend more time with you two lovely ladies --

Colby: Aw.

Tad: And my princess, Jenny.

Colby: Well, we're glad to have you, too.

Tad: And it's good to be had. Still, nonetheless, you can't help but miss the ones that aren't there.

Kendall: So there's this woman clutching her baby, her newborn baby, wondering, "Who in the hell is this person and what is she doing in my hospital room asking to hold my child?"

Annie: You're not losing it, Kendall. You missed your boys, that's all.

Kendall: I just wanted to hold him. I wanted to touch his skin -- that baby smell, you know?

Annie: Yeah. I remember when I used to hold Emma up and just rub my nose against her little belly.

Kendall: I've never felt Ian's skin, never touched him, my son -- never. So I just -- I needed that, you know? I don't know. I mean, am I -- am I crazy? Am I -- am I delusional?

Annie: No, you're exhausted. You're worried. You're a mom. You were just looking out for your boys. And -- and Zach, he -- he loves you so much.

Kendall: Even though I go to doctor's offices behind his back and hold other people's babies?

Annie: He understands.

Kendall: Thank you. Thank you for being such a good friend.

Annie: Well, you've given me plenty in the friendship department.

Kendall: And maybe a little help, too.

Annie: Yeah, yeah --

Kendall: A little?

Annie: Maybe.

Kendall: You know, you -- you really are a remarkable woman, Annie Lavery.

Annie: I'm not remarkable.

Zach: Annie seems happy to move in and it's -- it's not a solution I would've thought of, but it's a good one.

Ryan: Yeah, she's been doing a lot of surprising things lately.

Zach: Is she all right?

Ryan: She -- she wanted to pack up and leave town for a little while when Spike got out of the hospital.

Zach: Are you guys going on a vacation or something?

Ryan: No, longer than that. And now all of a sudden, she wants to set up camp at your place?

Zach: I don't know -- a change of scenery's good sometimes, you know? That's why I got Kendall out of the hospital. You look at the same walls over and over again, after a while, it's going to drive you crazy. You just want to move on, I guess.

Ryan: Yeah, I'm sure that's all she's doing. She probably just wants us to move on.

Greenlee: Where'd you get those?

Aidan: Oh. I swam to the Yacht Club, went to the snack bar, and then I walked back.

Greenlee: Oh. That was fast.

Aidan: You got to be fast these days. You want one or not?

Greenlee: Um -- yeah, sure. Thank you.

Aidan: You're welcome.

Greenlee: So, when you were Mr. Secret Agent Man, how many people did you kill?

Aidan: Oh, we're still on that one, are we?

Greenlee: Well, it's not every day that you meet someone who's done that. Plus, it's the only thing I think that's interesting about you.

Aidan: You are so charming. Thank you.

Greenlee: You're welcome. So, how many?

Aidan: I was a soldier, and I did what I was trained to do.

Greenlee: And it didn't bother you?

Aidan: My country needed me. My conscience never bothered me with what was -- what was asked of me. But when the wrong people got hurt and the wrong people died, that's not so easy.

Greenlee: Kind of like crashing your car and making a little boy deaf. I mean, no one died, but Spike and Ian are just kids and now -- now they're struggling because of me. I mean, I know they're not soldiers -- they're just little children.

Aidan: You can't go back.

Greenlee: Yeah, but imagine if you could. I mean, I'd change so much. You?

Aidan: Maybe.

Greenlee: I really wanted to help Spike.

Aidan: Well, at least he still has a chance. Sometimes they don't, you know? Oh.


Greenlee: Do you want to talk about it?

Aidan: I'd rather not.

Greenlee: I mean, I -- I don't know what war is like. I've lost friends, but -- not like that.


Aidan: Who says they were friends?

Greenlee: Oh, I'm sorry. It just -- you seemed like you were responsible or -- a child? Do you -- do you blame yourself for the death of a child?

Aidan: You know what? I really don't want to talk about it. It was a long time ago.

Greenlee: Not so long. You -- you still remember.

Aidan: Well, how do you forget? What's the matter? You don't like processed meat?

Greenlee: Just because I haven't finished the whole thing yet doesn't mean I don't appreciate it.

Aidan: Did you ever hear about the -- the guy that competed for the world record in hotdog eating?

Greenlee: Huh.

Aidan: No, I'm serious.

Greenlee: No, I think I missed that one.

Aidan: This guy, he ended up getting arthritis in his jaw.

Greenlee: You're kidding. Like, a sports-related injury?

Aidan: Like a sports-related injury.

Greenlee: Like tennis elbow.

Aidan: His whole life revolved around shoving hotdogs down his throat, and he got to the point where, even when he stuck a pretzel in his gob, the guy was I pain.

Greenlee: "Gob"? Did I hear that right?

Aidan: Sure. You laugh at the man's pain. That's nice.

Greenlee: No, I just need a translator.

[Greenlee laughs]

Aidan: "Gob" means "mouth."

Greenlee: Ah -- no, no, no, I got that.

Aidan: Come here, you got something.

Greenlee: Thank you. Hey, I wanted to ask you something.

Aidan: Not another mercy sex offer? Please?

Greenlee: Ha, ha, funny. No. You know that -- um -- that nerve pinch thing you did to David that dropped him to the floor?

Aidan: You know the best thing about David Hayward? Is his face, to the curb.

Greenlee: Ok. Well, I was wondering if you could maybe teach me that move.

Aidan: Greenlee, that is a military secret. Besides, I don't want you using it on me.

Zach: Ian is jumping from one crisis to the next. Until that gets better, I want to be by his side.

Ryan: I know it's been rough.

Zach: And I think you and Annie being over there would make it easier. I know it's a lot, and -- I need your help.

Ryan: Ok. If I agree to this, it can't be for too long.

Zach: Wouldn't dream of it. When Ian was born, you said because I fought for your son to be in this world, you'd fight for mine. Did you mean that?

Kendall: You are a wonderful mother, you're a great wife, you're an amazing friend. I mean, what more could you ask for?

Annie: No one believes their own hype all the time.

Kendall: I do. I do.

Annie: I'm not perfect, Kendall.

Kendall: Annie, no one is perfect.

Annie: Our families have been through so much. I think we deserve some peace. Hopefully, together, we can all get it.

Kendall: Well?

Ryan: Pack your toothbrush.

Kendall: Thank you, Ryan. Thank you so much. This means so much to me. Thank you.

Annie: Thank you.

Ryan: Is this going to make it ok for you, too?

Annie: Yes, yes, it will, and I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this first.

Ryan: It's done. It's done, Annie. Let's go get Emma's stuff.

Annie: Ok.

Amanda: So, you're going to be the star that shines forever, huh?

Ava: That's right.

Amanda: Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse.

Ava: What?

Amanda: It's something they used to say about some people you probably never heard of.

Ava: Look, that photographer didn't want to take my picture at first. But look what I did. I made him want to. I did that.

Amanda: Great. You made yourself known as the girl who will make out with anyone she can grab.

Ava: Don't you understand? It's about power and control.

Amanda: And you think you have that?

Ava: I used them. Hello? The photographer took that picture on my terms. I know exactly what I'm doing, Amanda.

Amanda: Well, don't order your Oscar dress just yet.

Ava: This print stuff is fine for now. It's a stepping stone. But I'm going to be a huge freaking movie star, and you're not going to stop me. Nobody will.

Lily: You don't like Ava kissing other women, do you?

Jonathan: It's a little more complicated than that.

Lily: Is it better or worse than kissing other guys?

Jonathan: Ok, it's not about what she's doing, it's about why she's doing it. Ava is desperate for attention.

Lily: But she's the face of Fusion. Her face is everywhere.

Jonathan: I know. For a lot of people, that would be enough. But for Ava, it's like an addiction. Instead of feeding a drug habit, she feeds her ego. She needs other people to make her feel better about herself.

Lily: But she has me and you.

Jonathan: I know. And I would like to think that's enough, too. But if she's going to want more of this spotlight, more of these headlines, she's going to keep doing over-the-top stuff to get them.

Lily: Like things that she wouldn't usually do.

Jonathan: If Ava really wants this life, who knows where she's going to stop.

Lily: Oh, I think I understand. So the farther away she goes, the further from you she'll be, too, right?

Jonathan: No, I don't want Ava to leave us. But I do want her to be happy.

Lily: Well, being famous is what she talks about 80% of the time. If she wants to keep getting her picture taken, why should she stop?

Jonathan: Being famous is not the same as being happy.

Lily: But it is for her.

Jonathan: Maybe. Ok. Or maybe she just doesn't know any better. All this attention she's getting right now -- the agents, the managers, the deals -- a lot of this is fake and it's hype, and it can go away really fast. For instance, is this the Ava that you know and care about?

Lily: No. Because I remember what she looked like when she was kissing you, and I can tell the difference.

Ava: You know what? I get it, I shocked you. Ok. Even Britney and Madonna actually worked out their first kiss first, but -- I'm sorry.

Amanda: Don't do it again.

Ava: But you have to admit, it really was a good idea.

Amanda: Stop, Ava! Just stop it. You're still not getting it. You are not Britney, and I am not Madonna!

Ava: Well, you got it half right, at least.

J.R.: You got to hand it to Ava. She -- she does have some brass.

Colby: Don't even go there.

Tad: Oh, J.R., come on.

Krystal: There are no members of the Ava fan club here.

J.R.: But she does know how to get her face out there, though.

Colby: Yeah, for people to laugh at.

J.R.: Maybe, some people. She's going to make somebody a lot of money one day.

Krystal: Well, she needs to learn some manners first.

J.R.: What? What'd I miss? When I left, it was, like, fun in here.

Tad: You didn't miss anything that a good night's sleep wouldn't cure. Come on. Thank you for driving me here.

J.R.: Yeah, no problem, buddy.

Tad: Appreciate it.

J.R.: Yeah.

Tad: Good luck. You stay out of trouble.

[Colby chuckles]

Tad: See you back at that house.

Colby: Bye.

Krystal: Bye, Tad. Man. I mean, he is breaking my heart.

Colby: He looks so like -- not like Tad.

Krystal: Yeah. What was he like over the ride to the airport and back? How was he?

J.R.: He was fine. He was joking around with Jamie. But on the way back, he got a little quiet. I think it's hitting him harder than he's letting on.

Krystal: You know, he just always tries to be so damn strong, and there's just -- there's been so much loss.

J.R.: There's been too much.

Colby: Yeah, but, you guys, Jamie's going to be back. It's not like he's gone for good.

J.R.: Yeah, well, what can we do about it?

Krystal: I have an idea. You know what tomorrow is?

Colby: Hmm.

J.R.: Oh, my God -- it's Tad's birthday, right?

Colby: Oh, man. Talk about us rubbing some salt in it.

Krystal: No, no, not necessarily. If there's one thing a Martin enjoys, it's a "partay."

J.R.: No, I don't know if we're going to be able to get Tad excited for a party.

Krystal: That's why we're not going to tell him.

Amanda: This is so not working.

Ava: Oh, quit being a drama queen. That's my job.

Amanda: And my job is?

Ava: Oh, you're supposed to keep me grounded, out of trouble, keep me real and all that. I know.

Amanda: You really know that?

Ava: Hello? I do listen every once in a while.

Amanda: Then why don't you behave?

Ava: Look, I also know that you are a little jealous, and that's fine, that's fine. There's tons of room in my entourage, but just keep the green monster in control, ok?

[Amanda chuckles]

Amanda: That's it. I -- I am leaving before I kill you.

Ava: Oh, stop trying to out-drama me.

Amanda: It's over, Ava! Done, finished! I quit as your handler. You're on your own now.

Ava: Wow, you give someone a little constructive criticism, they just freak.

Amanda: Why don't you go try and make a bigger ass out of yourself? It's all on you now.

Jonathan: If Ava could think more clearly, she could have everything that she wants. You know, she could be --

Lily: A movie star, a supermodel.

Jonathan: And still have her life under control. I wish Ava were more like you in some ways.

Lily: But you can't put the best parts of two people together. It's impossible.

Greenlee: Please stop. No more Austin Powers.

Aidan: [As Austin Powers] What's the matter, babe? Do I make you horny, baby? Randy, do I?

[Aidan growls]

Greenlee: No, no, not with bun in your teeth.

Aidan: [Normal voice] That sounds a bit naughty.

Greenlee: How are you allowed to get away with saying "naughty"?

Aidan: Naughty, naughty. Very naughty.

[Greenlee gasps as she chokes on her hotdog]

Greenlee: Oh!

[Greenlee coughs after Adrian performs the Heimlich Maneuver on her]

Greenlee: Oh!

Kendall: Ok, ok, ok. Yeah, it is definitely time to get our little man to bed, right?

Ryan: Just to warn you, we're probably going to be bringing a lot of stuff.

Zach: Yeah? You want to call a moving company?

Ryan: Well --

Kendall: Ok, whatever -- whatever you guys need. You can stay as long as you want.

Ryan: All right. We'll be there in the morning.

Zach: Thank you.

Kendall: Ok.

[Spike fusses]

Kendall: Oh, oh --

Ryan: Come here.

Kendall: Say good-bye to Daddy.

Annie: Oh, he's tired.

Ryan: Good night. Good night.

Kendall: Ok, ok --

Annie: Bye, bye, bye.

Kendall: Thank you. Ok, we're going, we're going.

Annie: Bye.

Zach: Bye.

Annie: This is a really wonderful thing that you're doing.

Ryan: Yeah, I'm a real saint.

Annie: No, I -- I just meant that I --

Ryan: I would really love to know what this is about, Annie. I'm your husband, and I love you, but I know there is something else going on here. I don't know if you're afraid --

Annie: No, I'm --

Ryan: I don't --

Annie: I'm not afraid. There was a problem, and I came up with a solution. Can't we just leave it at that? Can't we?

Ryan: I guess we're going to have to.

Annie: See you upstairs.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Donovan (to Kendall): I'm no longer interested in your son's case.

Zach (to Josh): What is it? What's wrong?

Ryan: This box was delivered. Who knew we were moving here? Who's it from?

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