AMC Transcript Thursday 5/31/07

All My Children Transcript Thursday 5/31/07


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Greenlee: Yeah, that's what I like to see -- an office full of employees working hard to get Fusion out of Chapter 11. So, what'd I miss -- mass coffee break, world's quietest fire alarm? Where's our posse?

Di: Oh -- hey, I'm not sure.

Greenlee: Well, it's unlike Kendall to take the day off without checking in, and Annie -- I mean, you speak to her 12 times a day. Do you know where she is?

Di: Uh-uh, I haven't spoken to either one of them today.

Greenlee: Hmm. Ever feel like the whole world's throwing a party, and you haven't been invited?


Clown: Oh, there you go -- spinning, spinning.

Ryan: That clown better get out of here before the cake is served. I'm not sure he can handle those two on a sugar high.

Annie: Only Kendall would hire a clown for a party with three kids.

Kendall: Oh, yeah, work it. Come on, come on. Show me those teeth, all eight of them.

Zach: Can you stop taking pictures? You're blinding everybody.

Kendall: What? I'm sorry, I just -- I just want for Bianca and Miranda to see how my Spikey loves his first birthday present.

Zach: I'll tell you what -- I'll rush Mom, you grab the camera.

Kendall: Oh.

Zach: Go get it.

Kendall: Wait -- can I help it if I'm proud? I'm proud, I am, I'm excited. Oh, and you, you, you -- oh, my honey, my honey. See? He seems a little excited, too. I mean, you sketched this place from -- from your imagination and it's almost finished, Zach.

Zach: Yeah -- you like it?

Kendall: I love it! I love it. I just can't wait to start making new, happy memories here.

Zach: It's a new start for us. We deserve it.

Kendall: Yeah, in a place where nothing bad has ever happened and nothing bad ever will.

Jack: Hey, you.

Greenlee: Perfect timing. What do you know about lip-gloss?

Jack: Ooh, let's see, what do I know? Enough to do this -- on the cheek. Why?

Greenlee: Oh, look around you -- fresh out of staff.

Jack: Yeah, so I see. So tell me -- what can I do to help?

Greenlee: Oh, well, what you really want to know is if I went through with my plan.

Jack: You're so perceptive. So did you?

Greenlee: No, but I will, so if you've come here to change my mind, you're wasting your time. Those useless, selfish friends of mine -- they got some surprise coming.

Colby: Ok, I so got you on that last race.

Sean: Oh, keep it down. Shh.

Colby: How come?

Sean: Because your dad will hear.

Colby: So what? We're not doing anything wrong. Look it -- the sun's out, it's a beautiful day. We have our swimsuits on. It's not like my dad can get mad at me for having a friend over to use the pool.

Sean: Yeah, well, let's not find out, ok?

Colby: Look, even if he did, it's not like he's going to find you're sleeping on my floor, and we're definitely not going to tell him. So, how could he find out?

Sean: I guess he couldn't.

[Ava continues her spying from the bushes]

J.R.: Don't rush off on my account.

Amanda: "Rush off" -- that's funny. You've talked me out of leaving five times already.

J.R.: Hmm. I didn't think it was my talking that convinced you.

Amanda: Hmm. Oh, come on, J.R. We had a great night -- and morning -- but you know how we like it. It's back to reality -- you rip on me, I cut you down.

J.R.: I do like that, and I promise that I'll start ragging on you in about an hour.

Amanda: Hmm.

J.R.: Or two.

Adam: Ah -- ahem. Chandler Enterprises must be doing better than I thought if you can take a whole day off for --

J.R.: Oh.

Adam: This.

J.R.: Chandler's doing great. And so am I, as you can see, so you can scrub off any delusions of a takeover.

Adam: You blinked.

Amanda: I'm not into swordfights.

J.R.: No, no, hang on. Don't let him scare you off. It was a hard, fast fall. He doesn't have anyone or anything to make miserable, so he just shuffles around this mausoleum trying to cause trouble.

Adam: Maybe all you need is a really good, strong cocktail -- drink to forget. Oh, I forgot -- pills are the preferred Dillon elixir. How is your mother anyway?

Amanda: I wouldn't be so smug if I were you. You may never serve time for trying to sell Krystal and Tad's baby or getting my mom to help, but what goes around comes around.

Adam: You're beginning to sound like Janet. I'd be worried if I were you. Hmm? Yeah, but, you know, lunacy is hereditary.

Amanda: Good-bye, J.R.

J.R.: Hey -- I'll stop by ConFusion later.

Amanda: I'm not going to be there. I'm leaving there early to check out the Comeback. It used to be the Roadside -- Krystal and Babe bought it. Bye.

[Music plays]


Krystal: Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! Whoo! Liquor license, come to Mama. I am so ready to fill these seats with warm bodies, let me tell you.

Babe: Oh.

Tad: Don't look now, old boy, but I think we've been dissed.

Krystal: Hey, Del, perfect timing! Come on in.

Opal: Oh, my goodness!

Tad: Now I know we have.

Opal: Time for fun!

Del: Oh, I wish, darling. I'm here to work, actually.

Krystal: All right.

Babe: Amanda gave you time off to help us out? That's cool of her.

Del: Yes, indeed. I'm at your disposal, ladies. Use me, abuse me -- no need to be gentle.

Opal: Oh, well --

Jamie: That's good to know.

Opal: Now that you asked --

Jamie: But Dad and I are delegating clean-up duty.

Tad: Broom?

Del: Right.

Opal: Get that thing out of here!

Del: How about a pick-me-up before we all get our hands dirty? I can mix up a batch of my famous Del Lightnin'.

Krystal: Sounds Del-lightful.

Tad: Last time I had a cup of that, I tried to take my pants off.

Jamie: Whoa, come on, Derek. They're not even open yet.

Derek: That doesn't mean I can't come in and have --

Tad: Come on, give her a break.

Babe: Hey, I promise that we're filing all the paperwork. Everything's going to be legit.

Krystal: Derek, I am not going to hang that "Open for Business" sign in the window until all the Ts are crossed, I promise.

Derek: My, do you plan on interrogating every person that comes in for a good time?

Krystal: All right!

Jamie: Hee-haw!

Opal: All right!

Babe: What can we get you, baby?

Clown: Hey, hey! You guys like the balloons?

Annie: I don't get the whole clown thing. I don't think they're that funny. I think they're actually kind of creepy.

Erica: So do I. I think they're vile.

Ryan: Wow -- really?

Annie: Yeah.

Ryan: I don't know -- I've been around some amusing ones.

Annie: I haven't.

Ryan: Come on. There's got to be a clown out there someplace that can make you laugh.

Annie: Doubt it.

Ryan: Huh. I'll be right back.

Annie: Ok.

Erica: It's really strange weather, isn't it? I mean, the clouds are out, but it's warm. It's almost muggy.

Julia: Yeah.

Erica: Are you ok, Julia? You seem a little down.

Julia: Oh, no, I'm -- I'm just tired.

Ryan: Ok, clown hater.

Annie: Give it your best shot -- oh!

Ryan: It won't stay on, so I decided to hold it.

Annie: Oh!

Ryan: Here you go.

Annie: That's my girl. Oop!

Kendall: Oh, come on, Spikey! Ok --

Zach: No more pictures -- you're making him cry.

Kendall: Wait, no -- I'm sorry! I just -- I -- I know there's people waiting, but he's only going to have a first birthday once his entire life, so I don't want to miss a moment. I don't!

Zach: All right, I'll do it, I'll do it. I'll tell your mom about the present you got her, we'll give it to her now. Don't get upset -- we'll give it to her.

Kendall: Oh, what -- what do you mean? Wait -- see? A present for me?

Zach: Uh-huh.

Kendall: No, this is Spike's day, honey. It's his day.

Zach: You did what? I know, we'll do -- we'll do it right now. Here you go.

Kendall: Wait -- what?

Zach: This is from Spike.

Kendall: From --

Zach: Oh.

Kendall: Zach, what did you do?

Zach: I didn't do anything.

Kendall: What did you do?

Zach: Spike is celebrating hitting mom lotto, and he wanted you to know about it, that's all.

Kendall: Oh, my God. You guys. Hey.

Zach: Look.

[Zach gasps]

Zach: Hmm!

Kendall: Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Zach --

Zach: Wow. What did you do?

Kendall: Wait -- what? Oh --

Zach: The green one is for Spike.

Kendall: Yes, yes. It's -- it's emerald, it's his birthstone. It's beautiful.

Zach: Uh-huh. Just put it on.

Kendall: I'll put it on -- will you help me? Thank you -- oh, honey!

Zach: And then the blue one -- see the blue one?

Kendall: Ok, wait, let me see this -- oh --

Zach: Oh, good.

Kendall: The blue, yes -- it's the topaz!

[Spike fusses]

Kendall: Oh, come on -- you like topaz! You picked it out, I'm sure. This is for November.

Zach: Yeah. So don't do December, all right? November is the day. Don't screw it up for your big brother.

Kendall: This is amazing, and then there's a third one, too. Look. You guys --

Zach: Well, he just wanted to do something, he wanted to show you how much he cared about you and how much you're adored by this one, that one, and this one.

Kendall: I love it. It's amazing. It's amazing. You're the best.

Zach: We broke his piggy bank, yeah.

Kendall: I'm sorry. Hmm, and I love you, my honey. I love you, my honey.

[Zach growls]

Greenlee: Kendall's had it rough? Please, Jack -- spare me.

Jack: Well, I know you don't want to hear it, Greenlee, but it happens to be true. While you were away, Kendall went through hell -- so did Ryan and Zach, for that matter.

Greenlee: Well, if I don't look all broken up, it's because I'm not.

Jack: Yeah. Listen, a year ago, Kendall was in the ICU fighting for her life, Ryan and Zach were battling over who to save -- her or Spike.

Greenlee: Well, what a difference a year makes. I mean, now she's married with kids, deeply in love. The world's her oyster. Me? No life, no friends, still lonely. Time to level the playing field.

Sean: You think it's going to rain?

Colby: Uh -- yeah. Do you know what? You better head to the pool house. I'll go make sure the coast is clear.

Sean: Cool, you got it.

Jack: Listen, I know this hasn't been easy for you, but -- sit down a second. I want to talk to you about this plan of yours.

Greenlee: Does that mean -- are you going to help?

Jack: No. I will support you, but not if you're going to tear other people down -- I'm not going to do that. What I suggest you do is try to patch things up between you and Ryan and Kendall.

Greenlee: Oh, you're joking, right?

Jack: No.

Greenlee: No, those days are over.

Jack: Greenlee --

Greenlee: There's no going back.

Jack: I think if you really believed that, you wouldn't still be here. I think you want Kendall and Ryan in your life. I think it's important to you. But if you go ahead with this plan of yours, this attack of yours, you're going to make it impossible, ok, so here's what I suggest to you -- give it some time, think about it very carefully. Before you do anything -- I mean, anything at all -- you come and you talk to me, ok? Please?

Greenlee: Yes, all right.

Jack: Good, thank you. Ok.

Greenlee: You're very welcome.

Jack: Good -- now, I don't expect miracles because --

Greenlee: No, we're done talking about me. Let's talk about you. I mean, I'm getting all my divorce scoop from Larry Longan --

Jack: Oh.

Greenlee: So, what's the buzz, Daddy? What's the status with you and Erica?

Annie: Pretty good, Daddy.

Ryan: Come here. Come here --

Annie: Ooh! Come over -- yes.

Ryan: Ok.

Pam: Erica? Hello.

Erica: Pam, what on earth are you doing here?

Pam: Oh, honey, don't. How many days have you been trailed by a camera? It's all fair game.

Erica: Spike's birthday party is not. Some events are sacred, and this is one of them.

Jack: Well, to be honest, I don't know when exactly Erica and I went from happy to not so happy. Things started to happen. She found out Josh was her son, Sean showed up at my doorstep and moved in, and Lily and Jonathan broke up. It was just one thing after the other and I got to tell you, I think -- I think stress had a lot to do with it.

Greenlee: Well, all marriages suffer stress.

Jack: Yeah.

Greenlee: They don't all break up because of it.

Jack: No. You know, one morning we were waking up together, still blissfully in love, and then the next thing I knew, Erica was walking out the door going to find herself.

Erica: Ok, so what on earth are you still doing here? I told you, this is a camera-free zone.

Pam: Is Jackson or is Jackson not coming to this little shindig?

Erica: Yeah, of course, he's coming.

Pam: Then why are you all up in my face about this? Spike's party is the perfect place to showcase to the world how smooth you and Jack are -- divorced yet able to co-exist, divorced yet able to jointly celebrate a family milestone.

Erica: Divorced yet able to throw my very pushy producer out on her camera. Good-bye, Pam.

Myrtle: You told them who's boss.

Erica: Well. Sometimes they just go too far.

Myrtle: Look, they can't just use anything for "The New Divorce." Even a fan's saying that -- that's me.

Erica: Oh, well, thank you, Myrtle. I'm very glad to know you're watching.

Myrtle: I'm more than watching. Every night, I call Larry Longan's hotline and I cast my vote and say "Reconciliation." Now, when are you and Jack going to get together again?

Erica: Myrtle, we're -- we're not getting together again.

Myrtle: Darling, darling, you can't take the most painful, the most horrible period of your life and turn it into something like a -- a reality show, not if you want your marriage back.

Greenlee: I think you're better off without Erica.

Jack: Hmm.

Greenlee: I mean, she is one of the most spoiled, selfish, narcissistic people I know, and her daughter is just like her.

Jack: And she's also kind and caring and beautiful --

Greenlee: Ok, plenty. Thank you, enough. But, I mean, if you think she's this fabulous, why aren't you still with her?

Jack: Because she is stubborn and controlling and manipulative, and she won't admit that she let this thing go too far. And I am sick and tired of being the peacemaker, the one that always gives in, and if Erica wants to help me save what's left of this marriage, she's going to have to come to me.

Erica: Ok, fine. There was a time when I hoped that Jack and I would find our way back to each other.

Myrtle: And?

Erica: And that's probably partly why I asked Jack to appear on my show in the first place. Ok, it is why.

Myrtle: But was that so difficult?

Erica: But Jack has taken things too far.

Myrtle: Honey, he said that you both still love each other very much. What is so bad about that? Nothing -- I don't think anything is bad about it.

Ryan: They bring your play -- there he is! There's my birthday boy!

Annie: Hello!

Ryan: Hey!

Kendall: Hi, you guys. I am so, so sorry we're late.

Zach: Well, if you think you missed anything, there's a whole photo montage that I'm sure Kendall would like to share.

Kathy: Cool!

Kendall: Yeah!

Zach: Yeah.

Kendall: Well, you guys, thank you so much, all of you, for coming to Spike's very first birthday party on this --


Kendall: Beautiful, perfect day.

Greenlee: Well, now that we've established that I'm an ungrateful bitch, and you're a stubborn mule --

Jack: Yeah.

Greenlee: Let's bag this personal talk and help me weigh in on this ad design.

Jack: Oh, gosh. You know, as much as I'd like to do that, I'm no good at it, and I have someplace to be. Come here, you.

Greenlee: Hmm.

Jack: Call you later.

Greenlee: Ok.

Di: Hey. Did I miss a call from Aidan? He's just -- he's been on my case, and I haven't -- I haven't really heard from him.

Greenlee: Hmm, not that I know of. Listen, I'm taking off for the day.

Di: Going anyplace special?

Greenlee: Spike's birthday party. Yeah, I may not be on top of the guest list, but I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[Music plays]

Babe: Del Lightnings! Oh, my skills. I cannot believe that this is the same grimy pit that I used to make minimum wage in.

Opal: Oh, I'll take one.

Babe: Anyone?

Krystal: Yeah, well, it does clean up good, doesn't it?

Babe: It does -- come here. Oh! So exciting.

Del: Let me be the first to hug congratulations.

Tad: Oh, absolutely. Come here, you big stuffed squirrel.

Opal: Oh, get off of him!


Babe: Oh, my gosh! I cannot believe that the Roadside is really ours.

Krystal: I know.

Babe: It's crazy.

Krystal: And once I get the liquor license, and I get some real customers in here --

Derek: Hey!

Babe: Oh, uh --

Tad: She's been doing that all day.

Krystal: No, I'm saying you are my guests.

Jamie: Whoa -- nice save.

Babe: Yeah!

Krystal: No, really, and until I'm officially open for business, it's just not going to feel like a real Carey production.

Babe: Which is why we've got to get to work and get those doors open ASAP.

Tad: I still say you should get a structural engineer here to give the place a once-over before you open up.

Krystal: Ugh! Naysayer.

Opal: Oh, come on.

Babe: Boo.

Opal: You old fuddy-duddy. No, these guys don't have time for bureaucratic baloney. They're making a statement.

Jamie: Which is?

Opal: The statement is that strong women bounce back.

Babe: Thank you!

Palmer: Hey, hear, hear, hear!

Babe: Hi!

Palmer: Congratulations. The place looks great and so do you, yes, indeed. You deserve everything you get, especially dumping monster man -- thank you.

Babe: Here -- cheers to that.

Derek: I couldn't have said that better myself. Another shot of this Del Lightnin' and I may try.

Babe: Cheers, everyone.

Palmer: Cheers.

Babe: Come on, Mama. Get it on it, let's go. Cheers!

Adam: You know, a real man would be running his company right now or at least trying to get full custody of his son. He wouldn't be wasting his time sleeping with a tart like Amanda Dillon. Not only is she Babe's best friend, but given her pedigree, she might just stuff you in a food freezer if you so much as look cross-eyed at her.

J.R.: You're the one who's lecturing me on bad decisions? Why don't you take a look around this place? It's empty -- yeah, yeah. You're the one for bad choices.

Adam: Ah. No matter how many corporate coups you stage, you're always going to be sub-par, boy. J.R. is always going to stand for "Junior," the son of a giant, the son who never measured up.

Ava: You're not avoiding me, are you, Sean?

Sean: What -- what are you doing here, Ava?

Ava: Well, I sent you about a million texts, so I never got a response, thought you might be a little worried.


Sean: Yeah, I got your text, ok? I -- I can't help you out. My uncle doesn't own that boat anymore, ok? It belongs to the Chandlers now.

Ava: I don't care who owns the freakin' boat. I want to go for a ride, and you said you'd take me.

Sean: Look, well, now I'm saying I can't take you, ok? It's going to pour.

Ava: Oh -- well, I wonder what Colby's daddy is going to think about you sleeping on his little angel's floor? So we're going on that boat, Sean. Who's going to drive -- you or me?

Zach: So what's going on here? The only time I ever get to see you is at parties.

Myrtle: I'm a social butterfly, and my calendar is full. As a matter of fact, this afternoon, I'm going to a wedding and the bride is 90 and the groom is 75.

Zach: Really? There's hope for us yet. Come on, I'll walk you out.

Myrtle: Yeah, well, tell Kendall.

Zach: I'll tell her.

Kendall: Ok, I -- I mean rain? Who said anything about rain today?

Erica: Kendall, will you stop worrying?

Jack: Kendall, you know your mother's right. I mean, as long as Spike is here, this is the perfect party.

Kendall: True.

Ryan: Yeah, well, wait till you see what your old man got you, Spike.

[Ryan chuckles]

Zach: Can't have too many toy fire departments.

Ryan: Exactly.

Josh: Are you ok? You don't look so cool.

Julia: Huh -- yep, doc. Just a little tired.

Josh: All right.

Kendall: Ok, there you go.

Erica: Kendall, is that new?

[Annie gasps]

Kendall: Oh.

Annie: That is gorgeous.

Kendall: Thank you --

[Jack whistles]

Kendall: Yes.

Erica: Ah.

Kendall: Actually, it's from Spike.

Lily: But Spike's too young to buy jewelry.

Kendall: Well --

[Doorbell rings]

Erica: Ok, I'll get it.

Annie: Oh, it's so pretty.

Kendall: Thank you. I think, cake, cake. Zach, do you want to get the cake now?

Zach: Cake, yes. Cake.

Annie: Yes. Um --

Erica: Come in, teddy bear.

Greenlee: Surprise!

Lily: Hi, Greenlee.

Greenlee: Hi, Lily. Everyone.

Jack: Greenlee. I thought we had an agreement.

Greenlee: You said I should give everyone a chance to see the error of their ways. I'm being nice! This bear cost $200.

Jack: Ok, you know that that's not what I meant, right?


Greenlee: I'm reaching out, Jack. Let's see if anyone reaches back.

Colby: Sean? Sean?

[Colby finds Sean's phone and starts peaking at his messages]

[Music plays]

Krystal: Hey, hey, hey, Amanda!

Babe: Hi!

Krystal: Come on in, girlfriend! Pull up a stool.

Amanda: Hey, everybody. The place looks great.

Tad: Well, sure it looks great. The only problem is it might collapse around our ears at any moment.

Derek: Hey, buzz kill.

Opal: Why did I ever teach him to talk?

Jamie: I have often wondered that myself.

Opal: Yeah.

Palmer: I wonder who taught you.

Opal: Oh.

Tad: Ooh!

Jamie: Come on!

Babe: Hey! Oh.

Amanda: Hey. How are you?

Babe: So good to see you.

Amanda: Oh, you, too. Can I talk to you alone for a minute?

Babe: Oh, yeah, totally. Let me grab these glasses for Mama real fast, ok?

Amanda: Ok.

Babe: What's up?

Amanda: Hey, I'm -- I'm sorry. I have something to tell you.

Babe: Is your -- your mom, is she ok?

Amanda: No, um -

J.R.: Well, there she is.

Babe: Oh, hi.

J.R.: Congratulations -- the entrepreneur. Can you believe this?

Babe: Thanks.

Krystal: No, really, there was this bar in Crow Hollow, and every week, they would have these moonshine drinking contests and the person who could drink the most moonshine and still be standing at the end of the night was the supreme ruler of the bar.

Tad: And win a free squirrel.


Derek: Are you planning on having Del Lightnin' drink-offs here?

Krystal: Uh -- no, no. No, I like the idea of the contest, but I just don't want to be responsible for people getting that loaded on a weekly basis, you know what I mean?

Derek: Hmm, smart woman.

Opal: No, I think a Del Lightnin' drink-off sounds like a blast. I say we start one right now.

Palmer: Uh-oh, uh-oh. That's my cue to leave, yeah. Well, she gets a little frisky when she drinks, and I get forgetful. The last thing I want is to wake up in the morning with a hangover and find that in my bed.

Opal: Oh -- well, you better watch your tongue, mister, or you're going to wake up with a horse head on your pillow.

Palmer: Same difference.

Opal: Oh!

Tad: Oh, we have a winner!

Zach: You all right?

Kendall: No, Zach -- stop, stop. If she wants to stand over there and be completely ignored, fine. Let her. Let's get some cake.

Emma: Maybe I'll -- maybe I'll win the --

Josh: Are you sure you want to be here?

Greenlee: Yeah. Why not?

Josh: Well, this party isn't exactly the funnest thing I've ever been to, and to tell you the truth, that clown is kind of freaking me out. Maybe you want to go get something to eat.

Greenlee: No, um, it's ok, but thank you. I heard there's going to be cake soon.

Josh: Hmm.

Erica: Uh, Josh? Will you give me a hand with something?

Josh: Sure.

Julia: Where did you get this bear? I want to get one for Kathy.

Jack: Ryan, believe it or not, this is Greenlee's idea of mending fences -- I know. But if you and Kendall could consider meeting her halfway --

Ryan: I don't want to blow her off, Jack, obviously, but I also don't want to lead her on.


Jonathan: Hi. Blue punch. Was that your idea?

Lily: No. Zach and Kendall know not to have red in their color palette if I'm a guest.

Jonathan: What's Ava up to today?

Lily: I don't know. But I wouldn't tell you even if I did, because you don't like my half sister.

Kendall: So, maybe she's just trying to be nice.

Erica: Greenlee, nice? Are you kidding? Greenlee's jealous -- she told me, and as well she should be. I mean, look at your life, look how far you've come in a year. Now, Greenlee can take all the cheap shots she wants. She's never going to have it as good as you.

Julia: I was fine before Kathy, but now it's -- it's just different. I never knew that having a kid would be so great. I know that she didn't come from me, but I love her just the same.

Greenlee: It's ok, Julia. Everyone knows that I can't carry a child, so you can just stop with these pro-adoption pep talks.

Julia: Is that how you took that? Oh, hey, there you are. You know what, baby? It's -- it's time for us to go.

Jonathan: Time to go?

Julia: Yeah.

Jonathan: Uh-oh. Come here. Uncle Jon's going to give you a walk out.

Lily: Hey, Greenlee, why doesn't anyone want you here today? What did you do?

Greenlee: That's a good question, Lily. Maybe you should ask them.

Emma: I like the bear your bought.

Greenlee: Thank you.


Ryan: Emma, this is Greenlee. Greenlee is a -- she's an old friend of mine.

Greenlee: You have your daddy's eyes, Emma.

Emma: You have a little girl, too?

Ryan: You know what? I am going to get you a piece of cake before we run out. How about that?

Zach: Kendall is pregnant. She doesn't need this stress.

Erica: Kendall, honey -- I'm so sorry that I have to go now, I really am. I have an editing session in about half an hour, ok?

Kendall: Ok, that's -- that's ok, Mom.

Erica: Oh. Hey, you're not still feeling sorry for her, are you? I mean, Greenlee's a piranha. Watch your back.

Zach: You made your point. You accomplished what you came here for.

Greenlee: How do you know what I came here for?

Zach: Why don't you just go home?

Greenlee: Because I'm not ready to, unless you're going to physically throw me out. Excuse me. Hey, Spike -- hi! Do you remember me? Well, we met before, but we weren't formally introduced. I'm your Auntie Greenlee. I knew you before you were even born. Can I hold him?

Kendall: Oh. I was just going to go change him.

[Music plays]

Jamie: Hey, I found your twin. Del Lightning giving you rotgut?

Tad: If you think I'd come within 10 feet of anything the redneck mixes up, you're out of your mind. I'm sipping beer, thank you very much.

Jamie: Well, then why are you so sad?

Tad: Same old same old. I was thinking about Kate. Five years old in a couple of days.

Jamie: Yeah, I know.

Tad: It means if I'm lucky, she's, what, learning to ride a bike? Maybe losing some baby teeth, getting ready for kindergarten?

Jamie: You haven't given up looking for her?

Tad: Well, unless I know where to start, it's all wasted -- hey!

Julia: Hey.

Tad: What's up, gorgeous?

Julia: Ah! So, you guys working hard?

Jamie: Hardly working.

Julia: Yeah.

Jamie: How was Spike's party?

Julia: Uh -- action-packed.

Tad: Hey, where's your pint-sized partner in crime?

Julia: Kathy? Oh, she -- she went back to Wildwind with Jonathan. I would've brought her along, but I -- I couldn't find her fake ID.

Tad: If you show me your fake ID, I might just buy you a drink.

Julia: Well, do you need a fake ID for sparkling water? I think a real drink might put me right out.

Tad: Want lemon in it?

Julia: Yeah.

Tad: One lemon Jacuzzi coming right up. Squirrel?

Julia: Hey.

Jamie: Ah, I can't apologize enough for him. Are you ok?

Julia: Yeah. I must look really horrible -- you're the third person that's asked me that today.

Jamie: You're -- you look fine. You just -- you look fried.

Julia: Yeah, I know. I can't believe I only have a few days to work up to Kathy's fifth birthday party.

Jamie: Hmm.

Derek: What is Del Lightning anyway?

Krystal: Oh --

Derek: Strictly off the record.

Opal: Don't you tell him.

Krystal: Well -- ha-ha -- let's put it this way. I made sure that Del's version is completely legal before you walked in the door.

Opal: Oh, boring!

[Krystal laughs]

Derek: Well, whatever it is, keep them coming.

Krystal: You know, maybe you better back off just a little bit, Chief. Those things will hit you hard, especially your first time.

Derek: Have I ever told you I've always liked you?

Krystal: Never once.

Derek: I've always liked you.

Krystal: I'm blushing.

Derek: Don't.

Babe: Hey, I'm so sorry we keep getting interrupted. I -- what is it that you wanted to tell me? Is it bad, because I could really use a break from bad news for a while.

Amanda: No, I just wanted to tell you how excited I am for you.

Babe: Oh.

Amanda: And this place is fantastic, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your mom.

Babe: I'm so excited, thank you. Oh, you're such a good friend. Thanks for coming down.

Greenlee: I wonder what's taking them so long. Do you think Kendall put Spike down for a nap? I mean, there's no furniture or --


Greenlee: Emma, you're so good with that doll.

Emma: I'm practicing when my mommy has a baby.

Greenlee: Oh. You're going to have a little brother or sister soon? When?

Emma: When, Mommy?

Annie: I don't -- I don't know, sweetheart. Whenever it happens. Uh, Mommy and Daddy have to -- have to make the baby first. Em, why don't we go check out the rest of this house, huh? Do you want to? That'll be fun. Come on, baby.

Greenlee: Thank you for a great party.

Zach: She's gone.

[Kendall emerges from the back carrying Spike]

Ava: Ok, if this is, like, a gazillion-dollar yacht, then why is it such a pain to get rolling?

Sean: Oh, look, the weather's starting to get really bad, ok, so we can't take it out long. We'll just have to turn around and come right back.

Ava: Wait, what fun? We haven't even had that much fun yet. I know I can change that.

[Colby spies on Ava and Sean kissing]

Del: Oh, come on, Jules. I'll do double duty at Wildwind if you let me move back in -- no more guns, no more cheating at poker, no more boxers on the bathroom floor. Come on.

Jamie: Well, the problem is we already have all that, and the pleasure of not having to look at you, so --

[Julia chuckles]

Del: Oh, wow, James, you're a real crack-up.

Tad: Yeah, I taught him everything he knows.

Julia: Del, can we just talk about this later? I'm -- I'm just too tired.

Derek: I wasn't any luckier at marriage than you, but I got a great daughter out of it.

Krystal: Hmm.

Derek: And I survived.


Krystal: Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what -- here is to surviving cruddy marriages and living to tell the tale.

Derek: Hmm.

[Krystal giggles]

Krystal: Hmm. Huh.

[Derek leans in and kisses Krystal while Adam watches aghast]

Ryan: What do you say, Emma? Does Spike's party get a thumbs up or a thumbs down? What do you think, hmm?


Ryan: Hey -- oh.

Emma: Mommy!

Annie: It's ok, sweetie. It's ok.

Ryan: Yeah, it's ok, it's ok. The power just went out. It's all right.

Kendall: Do we have a flashlight anywhere?

Zach: I got one in the car.

Kendall: Ok. Oh.

Greenlee: The road is -- it's all washed out.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Sean (to Colby): I care about you.

Colby: So much that you had to run off and have sex with someone else.

Amanda (to J.R.): You didn't tell Babe that you and I --

J.R.: Are you ashamed of me?

Kendall  (to Greenlee): I love you! You were my sister -- we can be us again -- I know we can, ok?

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