AMC Transcript Tuesday 5/29/07

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 5/29/07

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Juliet: Well, if you're still a little groggy this morning, our next guests will probably do more for you than a double shot of espresso.

[Laughter]

Juliet: Please welcome Erica Kane and her husband for now, Jackson Montgomery. Hi, guys.

Mike: Erica, Jack, welcome to "The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet."

Jack: Hi, Mike. Hi, Juliet. Thanks for having us.

Juliet: Well, what can we say except I guess bad marriages equal great ratings? America is hooked on your show "The New Divorce."

Jack: Seems like it.

Mike: But is this divorce going to happen?

Jack: Oh, well, I would have to say probably not.

Juliet: Um, is it true that somebody actually pledged a million dollars to the Miranda Montgomery Center if the divorce is finalized?

Erica: Yes, yes --very generous, right?

Juliet: Yeah, and very flattering.

Mike: Well, sure, but no clue to his identity?

Erica: No, no. He hasn't revealed it yet.

Jack: Or she hasn't. Could be a she. I mean, my fans have sent me photos, I got a bikini -- at least, I think it's a bikini, I'm not quite sure. It has a -- anyway, and -- and marriage proposals. Can you come in just a little bit closer, please? Thanks. I just want to say thank you to all the people who have e-mailed and written and called for your kind words and some really interesting and attractive offers.

J.R.: You know, I never got the turn-on factor from this rooftop.

Babe: Don't, ok? I'm not in the mood.

J.R.: Who messed with you? Was it my father?

Babe: No, actually, for once, it wasn't Adam.

Jamie: It was Greenlee.

Babe: She took advantage of a clause in the stock transfer. If Fusion hit a financial low, she could take back her shares. We have and she did, so basically I have gone from a partner to an intern.

J.R.: Well, you're not alone, Babe. Whatever you need, consider it done.

Singer: I believe in you though I don't say it

Zach: Hey. It looks like the same wavelength. Spike's really going to clean up tomorrow, isn't he?

Ryan: Why did you give Greenlee the whole blackout story, Zach?

Zach: You kind of had to be there.

Ryan: Did you think for one second what that information might do to her?

Zach: I was more concerned with protecting my wife.

Di: Hey. Hey, Annie -- Annie is in the ladies' room.

Kendall: Uh -- I'm not looking for Annie.

Di: Yeah, but she's locked in there with Greenlee, Kendall. She's been waiting to get Greenlee alone.

Kendall: Oh. I don't hear any screaming.

Di: Ok, you find that comforting?

Kendall: Don't look at me. Whoever makes it out first alive wins.

Greenlee: Ooh, an ambush, and me without my brass knuckles.

Annie: Let's talk.

Greenlee: Could've done that outside.

Annie: I thought I'd give you some privacy to let this sink in. Up on the roof, that is the last time you will ever kiss my husband.

Greenlee: Well, you'll just have to take that up with Ryan.

Annie: When Ryan told me everything that's happened between you two --

Greenlee: "Everything"? I doubt it.

Annie: I know enough.

Greenlee: You know, it's funny that Ryan felt the need to confess the kiss to you. I wouldn't have bothered.

Annie: Oh, yeah. I bet.

Greenlee: I was upset. Ryan was being his normal sweet self -- you know how he is.

Annie: Yeah. I know my husband really well.

Greenlee: Well, then you also know you have nothing to worry about. I would never have mentioned that little, nothing kiss to Ryan ever again -- unless -- do you think he feels guilty about it? Maybe the kiss meant more to him than I thought.

Annie: Hmm. It doesn't. And just in case you're planning on using it, you will be wasting your time and your energy, because I will never, never in this lifetime let you have Ryan. He is mine, and he is Emma's, and that is how it's going to stay. Got it?

Zach: I cut the power to the clinic, destroyed Greenlee's eggs, and forced Kendall into doing something that she probably wouldn't have done. Why wouldn't I want to talk about that?

Ryan: You should've thought it through, Zach. You should've figured out way to get Greenlee to back off of Kendall.

Zach: Mm-hmm -- you protect your wife, I'll protect mine.

Ryan: Wait a minute -- you think you're actually protecting Kendall by throwing gasoline all over Greenlee and striking a match?

Zach: What's going on here? You're not over Greenlee, are you?

Greenlee: Oh, relax, Annie. Are you always so paranoid?

Annie: You think I don't know you? You have no idea how much Ryan's told me, or the way he talks about you to me, because you're right -- Ryan is kind, and he will be as nice as he possibly can be no matter how he really feels.

Greenlee: Yeah, I know Ryan as well if not better than you.

Annie: Ok. And now you know who I am, too.

Greenlee: This has been fascinating. So unless we're now going to wrestle, I got to get back to work.

Annie: We're on a roll. Why don't we move on to something else? Like how I am going to help you salvage your company.

Kendall: Come on, Di -- help me, please.

Di: I -- I can't concentrate.

Kendall: Ok. Which one of these is Mr. Right?

Di: They're -- they're all clowns.

Kendall: All right. Uh -- Blammo?

Di: Mm-hmm.

Kendall: Or we have Whamdoodle. Or -- ooh, I like this one -- Sockittome.

Di: Huh.

Kendall: So, which one?

Di: I hate clowns.

Kendall: But -- but, why? No, they're funny, they make balloon animals, and they ride in cars and they beep horns.

Di: And they -- and they eat children, Kendall.

Kendall: What?

Di: Have you read Stephen King? They eat children, they live in the sewer and he crawls up, and he eats the children.

Kendall: Thank you! That's a lovely visual, nice image for my child's first birthday party. Thank you so much.

Di: In the neighborhood. Sorry. Ok, limbs attached. Everyone's ok.

Kendall: Oh, ok. Um -- don't tell Greenlee about the party, ok?

Di: Hmm.

Kendall: So, uh, what's new?

Annie: We need to have an emergency meeting.

Di: Oh, God, I knew it.

Kendall: All right, and the reason for this meeting?

Annie: Greenlee's brilliant plan to put Fusion firmly back in the black.

Babe: Fusion is in a slump, because we were in limbo for a while. We couldn't even work out of our offices.

J.R.: Well, that's not your fault. It was in Greenlee's contract.

Babe: It's just that I never even dreamed -- you know, it's done.

J.R.: The question is, where do we go from here?

Jamie: Uh, you don't have to worry about finances, Babe.

J.R.: She knows money's not the problem.

Jamie: As long as I have it, you have it.

Babe: That's very sweet of you, Jamie, thank you. But even if I was that bad off, I'm not taking charity.

J.R.: What we need is a strategy. What do you want, how do we get there?

Jamie: And what's in it for you?

J.R.: I can ask you the same question.

Jamie: I care about Babe.

J.R.: Ditto. And I'm also the father of her son, which means I will always care about her and her mother. I just want them to have a good life. Is that ok with you?

Jamie: Yeah. It's very decent of you, J.R., very human.

J.R.: What's going on with you Carey women, anyway, and stocks? Greenlee grabs hers back, your mother throws shares of Chandler back in my father's face?

Jamie: Good for her.

J.R.: Yeah? You both got a lot of guts.

Tad: Hey, baby.

Krystal: Ooh.

Tad: Hello, baby!

Krystal: Hey!

Tad: Come to Papa. Ooh, you're such a little munchee-chee!

Krystal: Huh.

Tad: So, what, you called me because she needs changing, right?

Krystal: Well, could be. No, actually, I asked you over here for a financial question.

Tad: Huh. [Irish accent] Don't look now, but I think she's hitting us up for cash.

Krystal: No, Tad. I -- I want to get rid of this.

Tad: [Normal voice] Huh -- ok. Well, you know, as far as I'm concerned, it's about time, I guess.

Krystal: Well, it's not just the wedding ring I want to get rid of. It's all these trinkets, too, you know -- all the jewelry that Adam gave me.

Tad: Whoa, whoa, hang on, baby. If you need money, you know I'm your go-to guy.

Krystal: No, no, no. Look, I -- I'm not hurting, ok? Adam and I are going to work out our finances eventually, but in the meantime, I mean, why let all this stuff collect dust when I need a big chunk of cash right now?

Tad: For what?

Krystal: Just something I need. Now, I don't want to jinx it, ok, until it's a done deal. Meanwhile, I -- I need to unload all this hardware.

Tad: Ok, ok. Well, come here for a second. I think I know somebody who might be able to give you a -- a good price.

Krystal: Oh, I knew you would.

Tad: Uh-huh. You sure about this?

Krystal: Yes. Hey, Jenny. You think Mama's going to make her dream come true?

Jack: I wouldn't say there isn't another man out there who wouldn't put up a million dollars to get Erica back in the dating pool.

Erica: Oh.

Jack: I mean, I think a million dollars is a -- a bargain to have a chance with her.

Mike: Man, this is one amazingly amicable divorce.

Juliet: Really.

Jack: Well, I must say I -- I value Erica as much as I ever have -- her strength, her intelligence. And as far as I'm concerned, she is the sexiest and most desirable woman who ever drew a breath and that doesn't hurt one least little bit, now, does it?

Mike: Oh, wow.

Juliet: Why can't I find a guy like that?

Mike: I mean, so she's pretty close to perfect?

Erica: Oh.

Jack: Yes.

Juliet: Well, then, what, Erica, is he crazy?

Erica: No, no.

Juliet: Is he an undercover creep?

Erica: No, definitely not.

Juliet: Well, here's the deal. Has Jackson done something so heinous and so hideous that you can't tell us on national television?

Erica: No, no -- Jack is -- is -- he's a wonderful man. Jack is very --

Juliet: Very --

Erica: Generous and kind and supportive.

Juliet: Most women probably wouldn't kick a guy like that to the curb.

[Laughter and applause]

Erica: You know, the whole point of Jack's initial appearance on "New Beginnings" --

Mike: The "divorce, Erica style" episode?

Erica: Well, we didn't call it that.

Juliet: Well, everybody else did.

Erica: Well, the whole point of Jack's initial appearance on "New Beginnings" was to show everyone that a divorce can survive with mutual respect and -- and friendship and -- and we don't have to be battling animals.

Jack: No.

Erica: I mean, we can -- we can keep our heads and we can just keep our sense of humor and that's how we can -- we can go through with our divorce and --

Juliet: So why divorce at all with all this love and respect going on? Why not just go to couples' therapy?

Mike: Yeah, I agree -- I mean, can't the marriage be saved? In fact, we're going to roll a piece of tape here from your own show to help you decide. Look at this.

Jack: Well, it also helps when you still love the person you're divorcing and that, frankly, is the secret of our divorce. Erica and I are still very much in love with each other.

[Cheers and applause]

Juliet: I smell reconciliation. Why are you going to fight it?

Erica: I never said that --

Mike: Oh, come on. You kids are in love.

Erica: Well, Jack said we were in love.

Jack: Yes, and I stand by that statement. I'm still in love with you.

[Cheers]

Jack: And she's still in love with me.

Babe: Mama's no fool -- she didn't hand the store back to Adam. She's held on to plenty.

J.R.: I came here to talk to you about Little Adam. I saw my father working him this morning. I don't think we should allow him access to our son. I don't want our son looking up to him like he's some hero.

Babe: He won't. We will teach him real, solid values.

J.R.: I cannot allow Little Adam to make the same mistakes that I made.

Babe: J.R., he won't. Mama and I don't even need to see Adam ever again.

J.R.: I think it's smart that your mother's dumping her stock. But you better prepare yourself, because my father's going to focus his eye on your Chandler shares.

Jamie: Adam can't take your stocks the way Greenlee did.

J.R.: My father is great at using any small wedge. We can disarm him and protect ourselves at the same time.

Babe: How?

J.R.: You sell me your Chandler shares. You get a big injection of cash, and my father can't use it as any kind of a takeover attempt.

Jamie: Finally -- what's in it for you. You know, for a second, I thought you either got struck by lightning or you found religion.

J.R.: Shouldn't your nose be in a medical book? I will pay you what the shares are worth, and you could take the money and invest it in anything that's Adam-free. It's a smart move, Babe and it's a great way to protect Little Adam. Are you interested?

Erica: What part of "divorce" don't you understand?

Jack: Well, sweetheart, in all the years we've been in love with each other, how many times have you changed your mind?

Erica: Well, but this is not lawn furniture. I mean, this is not a whim.

Mike: But, Erica, why wouldn't you admit that you're wrong?

Erica: I'm not.

Juliet: Has this simply become a matter of your pride?

Mike: A contest of wills?

Erica: Is this the 1800s? I mean, technically Jack is my husband, so does that mean he gets to speak for me?

[Audience reacts]

Erica: No matter what I say, Jack's word is law? Are any of you going through this out there? Do you have husbands who have this warped sense of entitlement? I mean, someone asks you both a question, and who answers? Who answers for himself and for you, as if you have no voice and no mind and no free will? Your husband. See, this is symptomatic of everything that is wrong with our marriage. And I know you understand, because you've been there --

[Applause]

Erica: And I've been there, too, only I said "No more."

Mike: But if anyone knows how to get a divorce, it's you, Erica Kane. I mean, how many times is it now?

Juliet: This is 10, by my count.

Erica: Well, I don't count the ceremonies -- I count the men. Seven.

Mike: So your full name would be?

Erica: Erica Kane Martin Brent Cudahy Chandler Montgomery Montgomery Chandler Marick Marick Montgomery.

Mike: Wow.

Juliet: Mind-boggling.

Erica: Well --

Mike: But he's special.

Erica: Yes. He -- he was special and he's still special. I just can't stay married to him.

Mike: You thought marriage to Jackson Montgomery was going to last forever, though, right?

Erica: Absolutely, I did. It just -- it just didn't turn out to be true.

Krystal: This one was in honor of our wedding night.

Tad: A couple of jugs?

Krystal: Oh. Of moonshine, Tad.

Tad: Oh.

Krystal: Those Xs, those are -- those are sapphires.

Tad: Yeah. How romantic.

Krystal: And then -- then this, this topaz deer? That was -- for that deer that I had hanging on the wall there, remember?

Tad: A barrel of monkeys.

Krystal: Huh. And then this diamond snowman for my Frosty.

Tad: You got a thing for cartoon characters?

Krystal: Tad, that was Adam's nickname our first Christmas.

[Tad chuckles]

Tad: Yeah, well, that's almost interesting. I hope my lunch stays in place. Listen, baby, are you absolutely sure you want to get rid of all this stuff? I mean, this is a lot of gelt.

Krystal: I'm positive, Tad. I'm ready to move on.

Tad: Ok. As long as you're sure.

Woman: Only for you, Tad Martin, would I drop everything.

Tad: Yep, that's what they all say. How are you, gorgeous? Good to see you.

Woman: Oh.

Tad: I want you to meet a really good friend of mine. This here is Susan Pritchard.

Krystal: Hi.

Susan: Hi.

Krystal: Krystal Carey. Nice to meet you.

Susan: You, too.

Tad: Oh, how do I -- how do I do this decorously, huh? Uh -- me and Susan did some business a few years back.

Susan: Tad proved that my erstwhile husband was a cheating bum.

Tad: Yeah. Go figure. The moron.

Susan: So I owe him.

Tad: Huh -- if only. Don't hit -- why always the hit?

Susan: And who is this?

Krystal: That's Jenny.

Tad: This is the latest addition to our sort of overall family. This here is Jenny Colby -- Carey Colby, care Colby? Carey Martin?

Krystal: Jenny Colby Carey.

Tad: She's got more names than a phone book.

Susan: We have a lot of catching up to do.

Tad: Well, obviously.

Susan: But, first, let's take care of business.

Tad: Amen. Ok, there, Mama-san. Don't just sit there -- show her your booty.

Babe: It's only stock.

J.R.: I remember when I first gave them to you. But things change -- even when we don't want them to.

Babe: Well, all we can do is move on and try to be happy.

J.R.: And right now, that means protecting Little Adam.

Babe: I know what this deal means to you, J.R., and it's ok. I'll sell you my shares in Chandler. Might as well make a clean break.

J.R.: I will always, always be here for you, Babe.

Babe: I better get back to work.

J.R.: Show's over, jefe.

Jamie: Oh, I know. Do you?

J.R.: What's going on between you two?

Jamie: Babe's part of my family now. My dad, her mom, our sister.

J.R.: Ooh. Yeah, like I'd forget.

Jamie: You do realize that you just severed a major Chandler-Carey bond?

J.R.: Yes, James. I did.

Zach: You're not the only one who was close to Greenlee. Look at all Kendall did -- she was willing to give up her son for her. Do you know what I think? If you'd been in my shoes and Greenlee had attacked Annie, you would've done the same thing.

Ryan: Well, you were lucky that you missed Greenlee's little rant at ConFusion.

Zach: It was a good one, rough?

Ryan: Yeah, it was rough, on everyone. At least I know Annie can handle it.

Annie: So, a lot of our products are already natural and organic, but that's not enough anymore. Global cooling is where it's at. We can't keep using so much energy -- we have to be greener than green.

Greenlee: Right, encompassing our packaging.

Annie: We already have a lot of biodegradable cardboard, but we have to come up with some program that recycles all of our plastics, and then we reuse it ourselves.

Kendall: Ok, I'm sorry, but this isn't exactly earth-shattering.

Annie: Well, it's all part of our earth-saving Fusion green line.

Greenlee: Mm-hmm.

Annie: We -- we take our natural ingredients, and we make them more natural. We take blends that don't require as much -- as much mixing, as much heating, totally environmentally friendly.

Kendall: Sort of sounds like something that we talked about over my kitchen stove. All right, you know what? I'm onboard. I'm in.

Di: Ok, so do we call R&D, the chemists?

Greenlee: Well, we need the best.

Kendall: Yes, agreed.

Greenlee and Kendall: Boyd.

Kendall: Whoa. Yeah.

Di: Who's Boyd?

Kendall: Ok, he's only the -- the top, most amazing chemist --

Greenlee: Genius.

Kendall: Yes, yes. No one can touch him.

Greenlee: Well, except Kendall. She touched him -- ruined him.

Kendall: No, no, no. Don't even start that now.

Greenlee: He's not going to come here after what you did to him. I mean, you led him on and broke his heart.

Kendall: No, that, that -- the whole thing was your idea. You bribed us, you -- you used me and Boyd both.

Greenlee: Oh, that is so revisionist.

Kendall: All right, stop. This is it, this is immaterial. Let's just stop. We need a good chemist, and we'll get one.

Annie: And we could get an ad campaign as soon as we can to amp up, you know, interest in the product.

Kendall: Yeah, start tantalizing the market, people.

Greenlee: Yes, get everyone clamoring for the launch.

Kendall: Yes, are people hungry for the new products. This is good. All right. And where have you been?

Greenlee: Oh -- well, probably bribing the GED board.

Kendall: That's uncalled for.

Greenlee: You know, Fusion's not a playground. Employees can't just wander off if their feelings are a little bit hurt.

Kendall: Babe, it's cool. Don't worry about it.

Greenlee: No, it's not cool. This isn't slacker land. We work, we strive, we --

Babe: You suck. I'm sorry, girls -- Fusion is just not worth her hassle. I quit.

Kendall: You haven't got a clue what Babe has done for Fusion.

Greenlee: I didn't fire her, she quit!

Kendall: No, you cut her off at the knees with that stock reversal.

Greenlee: Ok, that was the original agreement.

Kendall: Greenlee, you could have done it differently. You didn't have to humiliate her and embarrass her and talk down to her.

Greenlee: Well, maybe you're just not familiar with basic management styles.

Kendall: You walked out on Fusion. Babe walked in, she took over, and she did great. She is the real deal, Greenlee -- like you used to be.

Greenlee: "Used to"? Fusion Green is mine! This global cooling concept -- it's mine!

Kendall: Ok, Babe had a lock on every single one of Zoe's artists. Every tune, every song, every lyric, free to use however we wanted to.

Greenlee: Well, great. We'll send her a fruit basket.

Kendall: You think this is funny? We haven't even inked the agreement yet.

Di: It was all Babe.

Greenlee: Babe repped Fusion, Fusion will close the deal.

Annie: Babe and Zoe are really close, you know. Like sisters.

Greenlee: Well, sisters don't always stay close.

Kendall: Babe can call Zoe, Zoe can have her label drop us, and then our marketing campaign is kaput -- that's it. You should have appreciated Babe and respected all the work that she did for you when you were hiding.

J.R.: Wow. The planets must be all jumbled. Kendall sticking up for Babe. Did Nostradamus predict that?

Greenlee: Hey, get out of here!

J.R.: I'm not talking to you.

Greenlee: Hmm. Well, Kendall has nothing to say to you, you homicidal maniac. You almost tried to kill her.

Kendall: Wow. It actually sounds like you're on my side.

Greenlee: Well, I'm not on his.

Kendall: Ok. J.R. and I know where we stand.

Greenlee: Oh, well, then excuse me for giving a damn.

Kendall: You waiting for me to thank you?

Greenlee: No. I don't need your validation, thanks.

Kendall: Good -- then let's not get off the point, ok? Let's focus. What we're talking about here is Babe and Fusion.

Greenlee: You know, if you would have stayed focused, then Fusion wouldn't be slipping and on its last leg.

Kendall: This is not my fault.

Greenlee: Ok, well, then let's give Zach the credit. I mean, he destroys everything. He's such a pro at it.

Kendall: Would you forget this, please?

Greenlee: How can I?

Kendall: It's in the past, Greenlee. We have to move on.

Greenlee: Yeah. Well, that's easy for you. You're in love with him, you have Spike.

Kendall: Oh, my God -- would you stop with this? What do you want me to do? You want me to just stop living my life -- would you be happy --

Annie: All right, all right. Enough, enough! Please, truce -- while there is still a Fusion to fight about.

Greenlee: It's my idea. I will go outline it to the staff chemists.

Di: I guess you and I need to figure out everything that Babe was doing.

Kendall: Yeah.

Di: Yeah.

J.R.: That fire's still there.

Kendall: And you're still here. Why?

J.R.: Well, memories -- see you get all hot and angry -- it's --

Kendall: Yes, yes, yes. Anger is just so sexy. And -- and you almost killing me and killing my child? That -- that was pretty hot, too. That was a turn-on.

J.R.: That was a tragic mistake. It didn't change how I felt about you.

Kendall: Yeah? Well, it means everything about the way I feel about you. So why don't you just slither the hell out of here, J.R.?

J.R.: Have a nice day.

Krystal: I had no idea we were talking that kind of money.

Susan: It's rare to find as many quality pieces in a local collection. The designs are quirky, but the gems are flawless.

Krystal: Oh.

Susan: Your ex had amazing taste.

Tad: Only in some things.

Susan: Thanks for calling me.

Tad: Ah.

Susan: And congratulations on your latest jewel.

Tad: Yeah.

Susan: She's gorgeous.

Tad: She is that, ain't you?

Krystal: She is priceless. Thank you.

Tad: Yeah, whatever.

Krystal: Oh, whoa. Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho. Oh-ho! This is it, this is it! I can float the whole kit and caboodle.

Tad: Translation, please?

[Krystal sighs]

Krystal: No, no, look -- yeah, I'll tell you soon, but until it's a done deal, this is top secret.

Zach: I hope Greenlee doesn't know about Spike's party.

Ryan: What? No, no. Are you kidding me? After what she pulled, who would possibly tell her out that?

Zach: Good point.

Ryan: Yeah. Hey, what did you -- what did you get him?

Zach: There was this fire department that was set up in the window. It's cool. It's got the little fire trucks and the --

Ryan: With the men and the helmets and the whole deal?

Mike: Hard to believe, but time's up.

Juliet: Have we made any headway at all? Won't you even consider reconsidering this divorce?

Erica: No, I really -- I -- I won't, because I have to stay true to myself. I have to stay true to my needs.

Mike: Jack, man, I don't know how you think she's still in love with you.

Jack: Well, I'll tell you, Mike, it's a matter of the heart knowing what the heart knows.

Mike: You really think this divorce may not happen?

Jack: To that, I would have to say stay tuned.

Juliet: Well, Mike and I will --

Mike: Yeah.

Juliet: To "The New Divorce."

Jack: Listen, do we have just a couple seconds?

Mike: Just real quickly.

Jack: I just want to say I know I've made a lot of mistakes in this marriage. As a matter of fact, just last week, I totally forgot to give my wife an anniversary gift, and I'd like to do that now.

[Jack presents Erica with a pair of amethyst earrings]

Mike and Juliet: Oh!

Juliet: Without my sunglasses!

Mike: Hello! Well, I guess only time will tell if Jack's little present there will melt Erica's heart.

[Applause]

Juliet: We got to go. Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.

Erica: Oh -- um -- just -- just a minute. Um --

Mike: Erica --

Erica: I was just startled.

Mike: We're actually done. We're already off. Sorry, but --

Erica: Oh, there was something I wanted to say.

Mike: Good to see you.

Jack: The pleasure was mine.

Juliet: It was really good meeting you, come back anytime.

Erica: I just want to say a quick hello to Lily. Good night. That's a wrap.

Jack: Oh, no, sweetheart, this is a gift.

Erica: This was the worst form of manipulation.

Jack: No, it wasn't. It --

Erica: This was a blatant attempt to blindside me in front of America.

Jack: No, it wasn't, and I'll tell you why. Because I meant everything I said up there.

Erica: You meant that you want me to come back to you? Well, you know what? You don't get any points by trying to make a fool out of me in front of America. You're as bad as the tabloids. Turn that damn thing off!

Pam: Keep taping.

Jack: What, you're afraid that America might side with me, Erica?

Erica: I said off -- off!

Pam: Conflict fuels the ratings.

Erica: I don't care about ratings!

Jack: Oh, honey, you know that's just not true.

Erica: Oh! Pull the plug now!

Jack: You know, you're starting to look a little like a sore loser in all this.

Erica: And you are looking like -- you're delusional! The audience was on my side. They saw you for the -- the egotistical, domineering male you are!

Greenlee: Jack, I need to talk for a minute. Alone.

Kendall: This was in our bedroom?

Rachael: Spike was about to pick it up.

Kendall: Oh. Well, thank you so much. If -- if he had, that would not have been good.

Rachael: No.

Kendall: Thanks.

Zach: So here's a funny story. Well, not funny. But I ran into Ryan at BJ's, and he --

Kendall: Hannah's earring, isn't it? She was in our bedroom.

Zach: Yeah, she was.

Greenlee: Company. Crowd.

Erica: If you do anything to hurt Kendall, I swear --

Greenlee: Oh, please, the Teflon diva? Why would I try and hurt her?

Erica: Well, let me think. What did you scream at ConFusion?

Greenlee: Kendall has the perfect life. She's just wallowing in her happily-ever-after.

Erica: And I intend to see that she stays wallowing.

Greenlee: I don't give a flying --

Jack: All right -- easy.

Greenlee: Why are you accusing me of wrecking her life? Wasn't it you who was all anti-Zach?

Erica: And with good reason, which is far more than you could ever possibly comprehend.

Greenlee: Well, you've lost your touch, Erica. Zach ended up with Kendall, after you pushed her towards Ryan. Ryan winds up with Annie, and now, you and Jack --

Jack: Greenlee, didn't you --

Erica: No, no, no.

Jack: Come here to talk to me?

Erica: This is about you and Ryan, isn't it?

Greenlee: And how could you care about a woman who casts you on her reality TV freak show as the jilted lover? It's very tacky.

Erica: Oh, and I can get so much tackier.

Jack: Oh, will you just stop it, both of you, right now.

Erica: All right, I'll see you at the party tomorrow.

Jack: Greenlee, what do you need?

Greenlee: Legal advice. Yes, it does involve Kendall.

[Amanda sighs]

Amanda: Say something, why don't you? You know, if you'd been right behind me, I would have --

J.R.: You would have KOd me?

Amanda: You think I can't?

J.R.: I enjoyed boxing with you the other day at the gym.

Amanda: Are you stalking me?

J.R.: If following you from ConFusion to here is stalking, then yes.

Amanda: What are you after?

J.R.: A rematch.

Krystal: Hey, what are you doing? I see you out here pacing like a duck in a shooting gallery.

Babe: I am so damn mad right now, you have no idea. Greenlee -- she -- she took back the Fusion stock!

Krystal: Oh, sweetheart, I --

Babe: It -- I -- I -- finally, I found something that -- that I really liked, that I could contribute to. I came up with these solid product ideas. I -- I really did, and I loved it there, and now, it's --

Krystal: Oh, sweetheart -- well, look, so you're not a partner. You're still very, very important to the company.

Babe: Yeah, except I quit.

Krystal: Honey, you love Fusion.

Babe: But I didn't love being treated like dirt by that little -- by her. Ugh!

Krystal: Oh -- oh, God. Don't worry.

Babe: Well, don't worry about me. I've got plenty of money. I -- I sold back my shares of Chandler to J.R., so now we're both rid of that mess.

Krystal: Well, we both know there's more to life than the almighty dollar.

Babe: We both have our babies.

Krystal: And I just got us something that we can both share and take a lot of pride in.

Babe: What?

Krystal: You want me to show you?

Babe: Yeah!

Tad: Well done.

Susan: I was just following orders.

Palmer: Very nice job. Well, it's always a pleasure to help Krystal, but stick it to Adam at the same time -- ha, ha. Well, what could be better than that?

Zach: She crossed the line. She grabbed the keys to our apartment and came in here.

Kendall: That's crazy.

Zach: So I accepted her resignation. She left Pine Valley. It's about time.

Kendall: Yeah, I'd say past time. Why didn't you just tell me when you found her?

Zach: Because I think you have enough to deal with, with Greenlee and everything. I didn't want to add to that load.

Kendall: Well, I still don't understand what Hannah wanted.

Zach: I don't know. Whatever it was, she didn't find it here. Maybe a closeness to Ethan, or insight -- I don't know.

Kendall: You have to stop feeling guilty about this.

Zach: Have I told you lately that you, Spike, and company mean everything to me?

Kendall: No, you haven't. Could you tell me?

[Kendall giggles]

Zach: Have I told you lately that you, Spike, and company mean everything to me?

Kendall: Yeah, I like that. Oh. Poor Hannah. Hopefully, someday, she'll have another child. Let's hope.

Ryan: Oh, yeah! There's a lingerie store.

Annie: This is not for you.

Ryan: You got me a present. What?

Annie: Well, I guess it is for you, huh?

Ryan: Yeah, it is for me, as long as you're wearing it, it's for me.

Annie: Hmm.

Ryan: Mm-hmm. Oh, hey -- how did it go with Greenlee?

Annie: It went. Greenlee knows that I'm fine, that we're fine, and that she better get used to it.

Ryan: So wait a minute -- you spoke, and Greenlee actually accepted what you had to say?

Annie: Well, you know, Greenlee steamed. She blew up at Babe -- pretty much forced her to quit.

Ryan: That's great.

Annie: I know. But hopefully, Greenlee got it out of her system, and she will not bother us anymore.

Ryan: Ok.

Annie: Well -- come on. Come on, come on.

[Annie giggles as she and Ryan run up the stairs]

Jack: It's going to be a legal nightmare like you cannot imagine.

Greenlee: Well, then let me worry about it.

Jack: Well, you're going to worry about it yourself, because I am not going to help you with this. I'm not.

Greenlee: Ok.

Jack: Oh, gosh. What the hell is this for?

Greenlee: For and attorney/client privilege. Mum's the word.

[Greenlee spots Spike's birthday invitation on Jack's table]

Jack: Greenlee, listen to me. Don't rush into this.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Colby: What are you doing?

Sean: I'm going skinny-dipping in your pool.

J.R. (to Amanda): Get into bed with me, and you could be looking at a huge payoff.

Babe (to Krystal): We have turned something ugly into something new and beautiful.

[As Tad stands in front of the bar, a piece of the plaster ceiling falls on top of him]

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