AMC Transcript Friday 5/4/07

All My Children Transcript Friday 5/4/07


Provided By Boo
Proofread By Gisele

Erica: Just more trash.

Woman: I'll buy every copy, and wipe it off the Internet, too -- leave me plenty of time to produce your show.

Erica: Where's the segment list for next week?

Woman: It's on its way. I have something you should see.

Erica: If that's more bad press about my marriage --

Woman: It's the security disc of the studio from a few nights ago. I asked to take a look at it. One of the security guys mentioned how hot your stepdaughter Lily is on camera.

Erica: Lily hasn't been here. Let me see that.

Woman: You're not going to like this.

Erica: And who made you the authority on what I like?

Woman: You did.

Erica: That's not Lily.

Ava: Hmm, hmm.

Sean: Oh -- uh -- my bad. Hey, didn't know you were --

Ava: No worries.

Sean: Uh -- I'll leave you. Well, sorry.

Ava: Not a problem.

Sean: Sorry.

Ava: Hmm. Not a problem at all.

Adam: Will you get these cuffs off of me?

Tad: Why should I? I'm having fun being shackled to you.

Adam: I'm going to get Derek Frye on you so fast, buddy.

Tad: Oh, will you? Call him, please. You want me to get the phone, huh?

Adam: Unlock me.

Tad: Not a chance. Sooner or later, Janet Dillon is going to come to you for help, just like you helped her when you got her out of that loony bin, and I'm going to be right here when she calls about my baby girl.

Adam: Yeah, for the last time, I don't know where your baby girl is.

Tad: Hmm.

J.R.: Nice work, Tad. Wish I'd thought of it.

Adam: Get -- call a locksmith.

J.R.: A locksmith -- me? Aren't I dead to you or something? If you need a break, I'll hop in for you.

Adam: My head is killing me.

Tad: It's funny -- your mouth is killing me.

Adam: Water. I feel -- I --

Tad: Oh, bravo. Author, author.

J.R.: Isn't this convenient?

Tad: You know what? Should we step over him or just, you know, call an ambulance?

Adam: I need my pills.

Tad: My God, you got to give him an a for effort.

J.R.: Have you been practicing a fake mini-stroke, Dad?

Tad: Undoubtedly. I kind of like him better this way.

Adam: Ow! Ez -- damn you, Martin.

Tad: It's a miracle. He's been cured. Demons, come out.

Krystal: It's no use. I can't sleep with my baby missing.

Babe: Mama, you really need to lie down. You need to get some rest.

Krystal: Hmm -- good luck.

Babe: Going to be home and she's going to need her mama.

Krystal: I can't just drift off to dreamland. Every time I close my eyes, I see Jenny crying. And then there's -- there's Janet. I mean, snoozing is not an option.

Babe: You are going to have plenty of sleepless nights when she gets home, believe me.

Krystal: I love you for saying that, but we both know how crazy Janet is.

Babe: We are going to find them.

Krystal: I may never see my baby again. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

Babe: When I was in the cabin with Janet, she was nothing but gentle with Little A.

Krystal: Was that before or after she put you and her husband in the freezer?

Babe: She would never hurt a child. You are exhausted, and you're letting this get to you. You need to rest.

Krystal: Where is she? Where is my baby?

Babe: Mama, please, we will find her. You need to lie down.

Krystal: I can go back in that bedroom and hide from life all I want, but that does not change the truth. The longer Jenny stays with Janet, the less likely she is of ever bringing her back.

Babe: And we have a lot of people looking for them. We have the cops, we have FBI. Tad -- Tad will find Jenny.

Krystal: Or I may have just lost him another daughter.

Babe: I will listen for the phone. Come on. You need to lie down.

Amanda: Mom, please come back.

[Approaching Amanda from behind, Janet knocks her unconscious with a tennis racket to the back of the head]

Erica: Come in.

Lily: Thanks. I -- I have 28 minutes to get to Cambias, and it's only 11 minutes away. It's good to see you, though.

Erica: It's great to see you. We don't get nearly enough time to talk anymore.

Lily: I know -- I miss you. I wish that your divorce with my dad wasn't being finalized.

Erica: Lily, tell me something. How is your new sister, Ava? How are you getting along?

Lily: Well, she -- she's not exactly my new sister. She's been my half sister my whole life, but I just didn't know it. And I might -- not never have known it if I wasn't my own personal detective.

Erica: I -- I know that Jonathan and Aidan disappointed you. I'm sorry about that. I know that they made some mistakes.

Lily: They didn't tell me about my sister.

Erica: Well, they were just trying to protect you, honey, from being hurt.

Lily: But I don't need protection from my own sister.

Erica: Lily, you are such a special girl. And everyone knows that you have -- you have very specific boundaries, but Ava -- Ava doesn't seem to have any boundaries whatsoever.

Lily: How do you know that? You don't know Ava very well. And Ava wants to be a movie star, and boundaries hold you in and movie stars aren't supposed to be held in. They have to go after what they want.

[Ava removes her robe and steps into the shower with Sean]

Ava: Hey, don't mind me. I'm just, um, grabbing my face scrub.

Sean: Don't mind at all.

Ava: Thanks, baby. You might want to turn it to cold.

Erica: Lily, did you see what Ava was wearing? Those things were all stolen from my set that night.

Lily: I'll pay for them.

Erica: Oh, Lily, honey, I don't want your money. That's not the point.

Lily: Money isn't the point when you have it. When you don't, it usually is.

Erica: Well, yes, honey, that's true. But not everyone who doesn't have money takes things that don't belong to them. I mean, Ava is stealing things that don't belong to her.

Lily: But Ava doesn't have money, because she doesn't have a job. Maybe you could give her a job here at your show. She's very smart. I have to go.

Adam: Oh.

Tad: Good morning there, sleepyhead.

Adam: On a good morning, you'd be gone.

Tad: You just keep dreaming there, bucko.

Adam: Will you get this off my wrist! Oh -- oh.

Tad: Oh, please don't fake another attack.

Adam: I'm not faking. It's -- it's probably heartburn.

Tad: No, it's probably your soul roasting in hell.

Adam: I need something bland to eat.

Tad: Yeah, so do I. Otherwise, I'd let you starve.

Adam: I need some breakfast.

Tad: Well, stop winjing. Get Lucretia in here, get us some omelets and some fruit.

Adam: It's been eight hours, and you haven't heard from Janet and you're not going to hear from Janet for another eight days or weeks or months.

Tad: Then you better get real good at doing things with one hand.

Adam: So you're going to persist in this madness?

Tad: You bet your bottom billion.

Adam: Oh, gee -- yes. I need a shower.

Tad: Come to think of it, so do I. What do you say we jump in the old stall together and do a couple of choruses of "Alcatraz, the Musical"? Otherwise, we're going to have to get used to each others' sweat.

Adam: That's disgusting.

Tad: So is your personality.

Adam: Yeah. How -- how am I supposed to relieve myself?

Tad: Don't expect a hand from me.

Adam: No?

Tad: Mm-hmm.

Adam: That's -- no, this is inhumane.

Tad: No, no --

Adam: It is disgusting, it's illegal!

Tad: If I were inhumane, I would've chained your gnarly butt to a fire hydrant, because that's exactly what you deserve for stealing my daughter and trying to fob her off on perfect strangers.

Adam: Yeah, how about Krystal? That faithless tart tried to peddle your bastard brat to me.

Krystal: I can't eat.

Babe: Colby, you should probably go. You're going to be late for school.

Colby: Uh-uh. I don't want to -- I want to stay here and help Krystal.

Krystal: Help me what, honey? Pace the floor and wait for the phone to ring? You'd be helping me if you make something out of your day.

Colby: Who cares about school? Our baby is missing.

Krystal: Look, we've all got Jenny on the brain, ok? But if you're distracted by class or by a friend's conversation for just five minutes, you'll be helping me out.

Colby: Will you let me know if you hear anything?

Babe: Of course, I will. I will call you right away.

Colby: Ok.

Krystal: You want some money for lunch?

Colby: No. I'm ok -- thank you

Krystal: You sure?

Colby: Yeah.

Winifred: It is time for this little man to have his bath.

Babe: Ooh! Tons of bubbles! Play with the ducky for me -- thank you.

Krystal: This is Adam's TIA prescription. He needs this.

Colby: Well, here, I'll take care of it.

Krystal: He should've started that dosage weeks ago. But then with all the chaos -- oh. Listen to me -- do I care?

Babe: Of course you do, Mama.

Colby: Yeah, I'll just take it over to the house and give to J.R. No, actually, I'll just fill it myself and then I'll take it to him.

Krystal: Thank you.

Colby: Mm-hmm.

Jamie: Hey.

Colby: Did you find her?

Jamie: Not yet. Hey, um -- Amanda said she was going to head over here. Have you guys seen her?

Krystal: No.

Babe: Actually, she was here, Mama.

Krystal: Well, that's news to me.

Jamie: How long was she here?

Babe: Um -- I don't know. She came over, we went outside, we talked for a bit, and then I came back inside to take care of Mama -- not long.

Jamie: Do you have any idea where she went?

Babe: No, I'm sorry -- she didn't say.

Krystal: What's going on?

Jamie: Oh -- Tad and Aidan put a trace on her cell.

Babe: Did Janet call again?

Jamie: Amanda's cell hasn't been used since last night.

Krystal: And nobody's seen her?

Jamie: She's not at Wildwind or at ConFusion. She didn't come back to my dad's office.

Babe: Well, I hope she's ok. She really wasn't doing well last night.

Jamie: I just hope she didn't drop out of sight to help her mom get away.

[Somewhere Amanda lies unconscious on the floor]

Woman: "real people, real obsession."

Erica: Hmm -- been there, done that -- depressing.

Woman: What about women who want to start their own business?

Erica: Maybe another time. Look, we need something with punch.

Woman: It's hard to match your punch.

Erica: I think you're brilliant.

Woman: If it's -- if you read it in there, it must be true.

Erica: I want to deal with this. Want to deal with this head-on.

Woman: Not ignore it like you always do?

Erica: Not this time.

Woman: Will this get us arrested or canceled?

Erica: Oh. I'm thinking nontraditional, I'm thinking bold, I'm thinking proactive.

Woman: What will your bold plan accomplish?

Erica: My goals are what they always have been. My goals are to heighten general consciousness and to take care of the public well-being.

Woman: Hmm -- not even touching that. How does Jack fit into your selfless act of public service?

Erica: Well, don't you worry about Jack, because Jack will be just fine.

Sean: Hey, Colby, what's up?

Colby: Oh -- Krystal made me promise to go to school, but how can I sit in some lame History class when Jenny's still missing?

Sean: Yeah, so ditch.

Colby: And do what, Sean? Krystal's a mess, and I can't go home and my dad is --


Colby: Oh.

Ava: Are you Colby?

Colby: Yeah.

Ava: I'm Lily's big sister, Ava.

Colby: Holy -- wow.

Sean: Yeah. Uh -- Ava's going to be staying with us for a while.

Ava: Yeah. Didn't Sean tell you all about me?

Colby: Um -- yeah -- Sean said you were some crazy clone of Lily, but, God, um -- you're nothing like her at all.

Amanda: Oh.

[Jenny fusses as Amanda wakes up in the doll factory]

Amanda: It's ok, it's ok.

Adam: You're a bottom-feeding parasite dressed up in a clown it.

Tad: And you are a babynapping reptile without one shred of human decency.

Adam: Pathetic, wife-bedding joke still feeding off my leftovers.

Tad: After they go run screaming from you, you betcha.

Adam: Well, congratulations -- you got yourself another hostage situation tacked on to your resume.

Tad: Well, why don't you add "blowhard" to yours? Because at this rate, I'm not going anywhere.

Adam: It's -- the weight on my chest.

Tad: Oh, for God's sake -- it's probably your conscience because your ex wants her baby back!

J.R.: Well, good morning, Dad.

Adam: I can't -- I can't breathe.

Tad: How stupid do you think I am?

Adam: I can't breathe. I have trouble breathing.

Tad: I need a judge's ruling on this one -- is he for real?

J.R.: I'll have to give him an eight. It's pretty good -- for a faker. I mean, first a stroke, now a heart attack. What's next -- Ebola? Ah.

Tad: Yeah.

J.R.: I'm hungry. Can I get something for you, Tad?

Tad: No, just get your father a nice, tall glass of shut the hell up.

J.R.: I'm on it.

Adam: Oh.

Tad: Ah, yes -- note the pain in the left arm, another classic symptom of the heart attack.

Adam: God.

Tad: Boy, are you good.

[Phone rings]

Tad: I'm thinking about nominating you for an award -- most ridiculous performance by a grown man.

Adam: Hello?

Janet: You lying, filthy snake.

Adam: Wrong number.

Tad: Give me that.

Janet: Like hell. You played me for a fool! I offered to help you. We were going to start a life together -- now, what happened to that life? I need the truth, so I'm flying on maternal instinct. I'm going to the source.

[Line disconnects]

Tad: Hmm. You can knock it off, Adam. Now that she just dropped a major clue, I'll be leaving.

Adam: Will you call someone?

Tad: Why don't you call them? As far as I'm concerned, you're free as a bird -- at least until they arrest you for kidnapping, which should be any minute. Now, come on, let's go. Let's get the key. Come on.

Adam: Oh -- ah.

Tad: Hey, that hurt. Would you knock it off?

Janet's voice: "Dear darling, sorry about the bump on the head. I hope it doesn't hurt too badly. Please take care of Maura for me. I've left some formula and snacks for you both -- those cookies you like so much. Love, Mom. P.S. -- Back soon."

Amanda: Mom, what are you doing? Ok, it's ok, little Jenny. We are going to get you home -- ok. Oh. Ok, come on -- here we go. Where is my phone? Damn it, Mom.

[Jenny fusses]

Amanda: Ok -- no, it's ok. Look here -- we're going to -- we're going to get out of here right now. Yes, we are. We're going to go, ok? It's ok. Ok, just one second, one second. There you --


Amanda: I know. I'm going to come right back, we're going to get out of here. There you go, sweetie. Ok. Oh -- oh.

Krystal: Amanda came over here to cry on your shoulder before she sneaks off to help her mother?

Babe: No. Amanda wants to find Jenny as much as we do, Mama -- I promise.

Winifred: Well, well! We are off to the zoo.

Babe: Ooh!


Babe: Ooh, are you going to see the elephants? Or the monkeys? Hmm -- I love you.

Krystal: Bye, sweetheart.

Winifred: Come on.

Babe: Have fun.

[Winifred imitates a monkey]

Babe: Say hi to the monkeys.

Jamie: If Amanda contacts you, Babe, just get as much information as you can and keep her on the line?

Babe: Maybe something happened to her. Amanda wouldn't just ditch us like that -- I know it.

Krystal: I think it's a little late to talk about what Amanda wouldn't do. I'm going to lie down.

Babe: I would rather throw down with her than watch her give up like that.

Jamie: Where is the Krystal that stood up to Adam?

Babe: I don't know, I don't know. Maybe she's in there deep down or maybe she's just all cried out -- who knows? At first, I thought it was just shock, but now, I -- can't even stand to look at her like this.

Jamie: She doesn't think we'll get Jenny back.

Babe: She's torn to pieces. And I have tried to put the pieces back together, but there is -- there's just too many.

Jamie: J.R. must've suffered like that -- when we took Little A away?

Babe: I've thought about that, too.

Jamie: What were we thinking?

Babe: We were thinking about Little A's safety, and he was safe with us.

Jamie: Are you sure we weren't thinking about us?

Babe: Maybe. But we're not Janet -- we didn't want to hurt anyone.

Jamie: We let J.R. think his son was dead.

Babe: And I have apologized to him so many times about that.

Jamie: Huh. I have not once said I was sorry to J.R. -- not once. Now, looking at Krystal, I kind of wish I had.

Babe: It's not too late -- to apologize. You could go see your brother right now. We could go together.

Jamie: Oh, what about Krystal?

Babe: Hold on.

[While Babe goes to check on her mom, Jamie looks at a picture of J.R., Babe, and Little Adam]

Babe: She's all set. Let's go.

[Janet Knocks on Krystal's door]

Krystal: Where's my baby? What have you done with my baby? Where is she? What did you do? Did you hurt her? Do you even know where she is?

Janet: Relax. I've taken care of your little girl.

Amanda: Ok, come on, little Jenny, let's wake up, it's time to eat. Here you go. This bottle's all here for you. Come on, sweet -- oh, here we go. Come on, you can do it. Come on, here we go. What's wrong, sweetie? Oh. Hey -- no wonder you're not hungry, you have a fever. Oh, God -- ok. Ok, it's ok. We -- ok, ok.

Krystal: Who is with Jenny right now?

Janet: I would prefer you call her Maura.

Krystal: My daughter's name is Jenny.

Janet: Maura would prefer you call her that, too.

Krystal: Who is taking care of my little girl?

Janet: Her caretaker -- Maura's caretaker -- is really none of your business.

Krystal: None of my business? It's my daughter we're talking --

Janet: You know, she's with somebody very kind, very thoughtful -- that's really all you need to know.

Krystal: All right, you -- you take me to her right now.

Janet: You're not very gracious, are you? You haven't even invited me in.

Krystal: I don't want to chitchat, I want my daughter!

Janet: There was a time when people dressed to visit. And they would offer a card. I wonder what my card would say. "Janet Dillon, angel of the week," or "Janet Dillon, mother to all."

Krystal: "Janet Dillon, murderer, kidnapper, soon to be beaten to a pulp, Janet Dillon"!

Janet: Maybe it was a mistake for me to come. I guess I'd better go.

Krystal: Oh, no. Wait -- wait a minute. I -- I'm sorry. Um -- come on in.

Janet: Hmm. Do you have any ice tea?

Krystal: I -- I -- I can -- I can make some. Come -- come on in.

Adam: I need a doctor!

Tad: Adam, nobody's buying this ridiculous act. Now get off your butt so I can get the key!

J.R.: Ooh, ooh, nice touch, Dad.

Tad: He's being ridiculous. Would you get the key? I stashed it in the drawer in the foyer.

Adam: Son -- son, help me!

Tad: Shut up.

Adam: J.R. --

[Knock on door]

J.R.: Hey, good morning, guys. You want some breakfast? Maybe a sunrise heart attack?

Babe: We're actually here to see you.

Jamie: Can I talk to you --

Adam: Call 911!

Tad: Don't humor him.

Jamie: What the hell is going on?

J.R.: Well, we could be having a crisis. Then again, maybe not.

Tad: He says he's having a heart attack.

Babe: What?

Jamie: He looks pale. Adam, are you ok?

Adam: I need an ambulance.

J.R.: He faked a stroke last night.

Tad: Yeah, and now that Janet's about to spill the beans on everything, he doesn't want me to nail him for kidnapping.

Babe: You just get more and more disgusting every day.

Tad: Would you give me the key? I'm out of here. Listen, Jamie, did you get anything on Amanda's phone trace?

Jamie: No. No calls made or received.

Tad: Well, you better stay on it, because Janet called from somebody's phone.

Babe: Do you know where she is? Did she say anything?

Tad: No, but I got a hunch.

Jamie: His lips are cyanotic. He's skipping about eight beats per minute.

J.R.: What does that mean?

Jamie: It means this isn't a scam. He's having cardiac distress.

Tad: Well, son of a gun --

Adam: I can't breathe. I can't --

Jamie: Come on, he needs an aspirin.

J.R.: You know, I'll call 911.

Babe: Or maybe not. Hold on. Stop, Jamie. Adam, what -- what do you think that we should do? I mean, if it were up to you, we would just walk right out on you, just like you did to Mama, leave it to fate whether you live or die.

Ava: Modeling is ok, you know. It pays the bills, it gets you into the business, it gives you some contacts. But I don't want to be known as just some model that wants to be an actress. So I'll probably just do some TV stuff and -- and then I'll do the major-studio stuff. No stupid indies that only, like, 20 people see. That's dumb. You can't be a star without distribution. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm, like, totally hogging the conversation. Why don't you guys just go to school?

Sean: You know, school is optional for us today.

Colby: So you've done modeling already?

Ava: Yeah. I've got some photog friends.

Colby: Really? Tell me everything. This is the first time in forever anything's taken my mind off my crazy life.

Ava: Well, once I get to LA, I -- you know, I know some people that --

[Phone rings]

Ava: Could hook me up.

Colby: Ok, excuse me. Um -- hello?

Babe: Colby, it's me.

Colby: Yeah, did you guys find Jenny?

Babe: Look, you need to get to the mansion right away.

Colby: Why? Did something happen?

Babe: Just get here as fast as you can.

Jack: Good morning, Erica.

Erica: Jack -- thank you so much for coming by on such short notice.

Jack: Sure. You said it was important. Is this -- is this about Ava?

Erica: Well, Ava is definitely a concern of mine, and I certainly do want to speak to you about her at another time. But no, that's not why I asked you to come over here now.

Jack: Ok. What? The suspense is killing me. What?

Erica: I've been thinking about us. We have such a history. We have children who think of us as family. Our kind of bond just doesn't dissolve overnight. In fact, we could be connected for the rest of our lives, and we should.

Jack: Well, I'm with you so far. What -- what's your point?

Erica: I would be devastated if I lost you, and so I won't.

Jack: Isn't it a little bit late for us to be having the "I can't lose you" discussion?

Erica: Not at all. I have no intention of letting you go, unless you absolutely insist.

Jack: Erica, our divorce is just about final.

Erica: Jack, I want you in my life even after our divorce.

Jack: Do tell. In what part of your life do you see me, just exactly?

Erica: Jack, this is the 21st century. Divorced couples don't have to be enemies. They can spend time together regularly and see each other and spend time with their children and vacation together.

Jack: How very progressive of you.

Erica: Well, they could -- they could also share confidences. They can even go on double dates.

Jack: You want to double date?

Erica: Well, I would very much like to maintain a very close relationship with you. And I'm not alone, because many, many former spouses maintain their intimate ties.

Jack: Yes, Erica, but you're not like anyone else.

Erica: Exactly. We can be like those couples, only we can do it better. Jack, I believe in this so much that I want you to join me in a "New Beginning" show. "The New Divorce."

Ava: Don't worry. I won't tell your uncle.

Sean: Tell my uncle what?

Ava: That you're ditching school. You're not going, right?

Sean: I told you already, I've missed a few days of school.

Ava: Well, that's ok. I'm good at keeping secrets. And I won't tell your girlfriend, either.

Sean: Colby's not my girlfriend.

Ava: Even better.

Sean: Um -- yeah, Colby's got enough problems. She's not sweating about me.

Ava: Well, she would totally sweat if she knew what was happening with us.

Sean: What's happening?

Ava: This.

[Ava kisses Sean]

[Jenny fusses]

Amanda: Come on, it's ok, little Jenny. Come on, you got to drink something, ok? Here you go. You want to try? Ok, you know, we've got to cool you down.

[Jenny cries]

Amanda: You're -- you're too hot. You have a fever. It's ok. I'm going to cool you down. Here we go. Please -- ok, there we go. You are way too little to be this hot. Oh. I know. I know, I know. It's ok, it's ok.

Janet: This isn't very cold. Do you have any ice?

Krystal: Uh --

Janet: Not much of a hostess, are you?

Krystal: Yeah, I left my white gloves and pearls in the trailer.

Janet: You know, we have all lost gracious living, haven't we? Did anyone offer you a casserole or baked goods when you moved in? I think we've lost all the social niceties. Whatever happened to gloves? Or heels? Or -- or hats? I love a good hat with flowers, or -- or ostrich feathers, or -- I realize some people prefer peacock feathers, but I just find peacocks to be such terrible creatures -- as are people who try to make cell phone calls -- in the middle of an important discussion. Why don't you put it down?

Krystal: Where is my daughter? What have you done with my baby girl?

Janet: Babe is your firstborn daughter, is that right? The two of you are very close?

Krystal: Where are you going with this, Janet?

Janet: Well, you see, my mother really preferred Natalie, the firstborn, and she could do nothing wrong. I, second born, could do nothing right.

Krystal: Jenny -- could we talk about Jenny, please?

Janet: I told you to call her Maura. Competition -- it can be fierce between sisters. Now, I realize that competition is the basis of a free market. A penny earned is a penny saved, and -- who said that? Was that Benjamin Franklin? Those new florescent lights -- do you think that they really save energy? What was I talking about?

Krystal: Competition. My -- my daughter

Janet: Competition can be brutal between sisters, especially when a mother loves and adores one daughter and cruelly rejects the other daughter.

Krystal: I love both my daughters fiercely. I -- I would do anything for both of them.

Janet: Of course, you would. You see, any mother would say that -- I bet you Wilma would even say that -- but I was the daughter that grew up rejected, and I will not let that happen to Maura.

[Door opens and Tad walks in]

Janet: Maura will grow up loved. Maura is going to grow up --

[Ava and Sean make out in the shower]

Jack: "The New Divorce," huh?

Erica: Oh, well, that's just the working title. I mean, we wouldn't have to even call it that. The important thing is the message -- that divorce doesn't have to be the end. It can be the beginning.

Jack: A new chapter, so to speak.

Erica: We'd be forging a new path for ourselves, as well as helping others. Please sit down.

Jack: Erica, all this trailblazing and self-help -- what -- what does it entail?

Erica: One simple show. Maybe an expert or two. Well, you know how I work. And the camera would love you.

[Jack chuckles]

Jack: Well --

Erica: Really, it would be a whole new important step for us, Jack.

Jack: Televised for the masses? Kind of a shot back at those nasty tabloids?

Erica: Yep.

Jack: Mm-hmm.

Erica: And it would help our audience at the same time, everyone out there who is dealing with a divorce. Well, I mean, you can take your time and think about it, Jack --

Jack: No, Erica, actually I don't need any time to think about this. I can give you your answer right now if you'd like.

Erica: You hate it?

Jack: I love it. I can't wait. Let's do it.

Jamie: Amanda's cell's been traced to a two-mile radius somewhere between Highway 23 and Hunnicut.

Colby: Why is an ambulance here?

J.R.: She could have been calling from the road.

Jamie: Well, let's hope not.

Colby: What's wrong? Dad --

Babe: Sweetie --

Colby: Dad, what happened?

Babe: He's going to be fine.

Tad: What the hell is this?

Janet: We're having a little visit.

Krystal: Janet was just telling me from personal experience how a mother could destroy her daughter.

Tad: Where's my child?

Janet: It's an important parental caution.

Krystal: I would never, ever behave like your mother, Janet.

Janet: So you say.

Krystal: Please, it is safe to bring Jenny home.

Tad: Ok, just tell us where she is. We'll go get her.

Janet: I have no intention of letting you anywhere near Maura until I am convinced that you are competent parents.

Krystal: We are!

Janet: People should have to get a license before they're allowed to have children. So just consider me the DMFV, hmm? The Department of Mother and Father verification. My process is lengthy, so you might as well just have a seat.

Amanda: Come on, Mom, Jenny needs a doctor. Ok. It's ok, little girl. You are going to be just fine. I just need to cool you down. Yes. Come on, Mom. Jenny doesn't have much time.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Hannah (to Josh): Just the man I'm looking for.

Janet (to Tad and Krystal): When is the wedding?

Greenlee: You know, I named this color. Rhapsody in red, all me.

[From the other room, Kendall overhears Greenlee talking to a spa employee]

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