All My Children Transcript Wednesday 4/4/07
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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Gisele
Babe: So what's it going to be? Agree on the divorce and joint custody, or do we have to go for round 15?
J.R.: You don't want to do this.
Babe: I have to protect my family, and right now that's Little A, Mama, and my soon-to-be-born little sister.
J.R.: I'm not your family anymore?
Babe: J.R., please, I don't want to fight, but I will if you make me. So what's it going to be? Are you going to make this easy, or does it have to get ugly?
[While Josh eavesdrops from the hall, J.R. ambles over to the bar and pours himself a stiff one.]
Krystal: Where are you, Adam, what are you up to?
[Adam's cell phone rings]
Tad: Oh, sorry. Adam can't come to the phone right now, he's indisposed.
Jamie: Please leave a message after the beep.
Tad: Hmm -- it's Krystal.
[Phone stops ringing]
Tad: It's a cheap phone for a billionaire. I didn't hear anything, did you?
Jamie: No. I've been on the Chandler grounds a million times, and I've never seen that door before.
Tad: Me, neither. So, what's behind it, and what were you doing in there?
[Janet hums as she paints a hideous portrait of her daughter]
Janet: Move over, Pablo Picasso. My beauteous Amanda. Ooh-la-bop.
Amanda: Hey, uh, you sure you don't want a table, because I have a great booth in the back.
Zoe: No, no, I'm fine here at the bar. I'm among my people -- the hoi polloi.
Amanda: Well, can I get you anything else?
Zoe: No, just keep the champagne flowing. I feel like celebrating.
Mrs. Luper: Freddie, is that you? I'm so sorry --
Bianca: Hi. Um -- Mrs. Luper, we really didn't get a chance to meet before. I'm Bianca Montgomery. I'm a very good friend --
Mrs. Luper: Friend of my son's. You went after him when he ran from me.
Bianca: Yes, I did. I was -- I was worried.
Mrs. Luper: Did you find him? Did you calm him down? How is my Freddie?
Zoe: Ah. Nothing like a fine champagne so smooth on the palate.
Amanda: What are you celebrating?
Zoe: Myself. My own virtues. My very uniqueness. A very special gift. A toast to my many blessings. Come on, darling, pull up a chair. Pull up a chair and have a seat, and we'll have a toast -- we'll toast to your blessings, too.
Amanda: I'm sorry, I have to cover the bar.
Zoe: Well, then I'll help you!
[Zoe laughs maniacally]
Zoe: How about a nice girlie drink? You want a sex on the beach or-- a cosmo? What about you? I bet you're a draft beer kind of guy. Me, I could go either way -- at the same time, even. The choices are endless -- that's what so bloody brilliant about being Zoe. Ah, autograph! How do I make this out? "Good luck in love. Zarf. " "Have it all. Zoe. "
Del: Zoe, can I snag one of those, actually?
Zoe: More, more, more, more. Here I am!
Zoe: Famous rock star! Famous stud! Infamous woman wannabe -- the choices are endless.
Amanda: Ok, have a seat. Why don't you just try and be yourself, ok?
Zoe: To Amanda, a toast. Since you can't toast, to all the gifts she takes for granted. Not only were you born with the soul of a woman, but you have a woman's body to match -- and a splendid body at that! Any mother would be proud.
Amanda: Well, you have so many wonderful things --
Zoe: And as lucky as I am to have a woman's soul, I don't have -- I'd love to have the matching accoutrements.
Amanda: Hey, listen, it just makes you more special, ok?
Zoe: To Amanda. To your one-gender life, Amanda, and to my gender smorgasbord. I don't know who's luckier -- the woman who debuts as a baby girl, or me, the creature who freaks out her own mother.
Mrs. Luper: May I order you some tea, Miss Montgomery?
Bianca: Oh, no, thank you, I'm fine, and please call me Bianca.
Mrs. Luper: How did you meet Freddie?
Bianca: Mrs. Luper, are you leaving?
Mrs. Luper: Please, Marjie. I have packed and unpacked over and over again. Maybe I should leave.
Bianca: You can't leave now, you just got here.
Marjie: Huh. I brought this with me -- it's Freddie's baby blanket. I can't forget how he smelled as a little boy. He was such a beautiful little boy. I came to Pine Valley to reach out to my son. All I did was drive him away.
Bianca: Zoe hasn't gone anywhere.
Marjie: Is this all I'll have left of my little boy -- things, clothes, pictures, school papers? I came here to help him, but I haven't, I can't.
Bianca: Yes, you can. You can help Zoe more than anyone.
Marjie: What do I do? Give him more time, more space, or push him further and further from me? I mean, you're Freddie's friend. What does he need?
Bianca: Zoe just needs you to love her.
J.R.: You know how bad I want this? Do you know how easy it would be just to toss it back and just forget about everything? Yeah, you know about that?
Babe: J.R., please, don't do it.
J.R.: I stopped. I'm sober. And if I can do that, I can do anything. So tell me -- tell me how I can change your mind about this divorce. We could go to counseling, group therapy, family -- I cannot lose you.
Babe: J.R., you've already lost me.
J.R.: You still love me.
Babe: Love has never been our problem. Faith, trust, hope -- we don't have that, not anymore.
J.R.: I do, I have that!
Babe: And I did, too, at one time, J.R. Look, you can hang on all that you want, but it's never going to be the same. We can never get that back.
J.R.: I don't believe that.
Babe: We would just make ourselves miserable, we would hurt our child -- neither one of us want that.
J.R.: No, what our child wants is both of his parents together. That's what he would like to have.
Babe: He can either have two happy, stable parents separated, being mature, or he can have anger. You don't think that he can sense when we're at each other's throats? All we would end up with is one very messed-up little boy.
J.R.: Our son loves you more than every toy in the entire world. And I love you more.
Babe: We'll always have our little boy -- the best part of both of us, a reminder that at one time we were happy. A reminder that we did do something right. But, please, let's not ruin him. Let's stop now, please? Please, I am begging you. Do not make me fight.
J.R.: I'll tell my lawyer to expect a call from your lawyer.
Babe: Thank you. I totally want to do joint custody all the way, and -- and I'm going to give you back your shares of Chandler. You --
J.R.: Why don't we let the lawyer deal with that?
Krystal: Pick up the damn phone, Adam!
Adam's voice: You've reached the voicemail of Adam Chandler. I'm unable to take your call. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message after the tone.
Tad: Well, there are four flights, and a door at the top that's locked.
Jamie: Oh, maybe this second key will help.
Tad: Why didn't you give me that before I went up there? Never mind. We're lucky this little beauty will lead us to some place we can stash him before he can cause more damage.
Jamie: Well, it's a good thing he left us a present, then.
Tad: Yeah. You want to check for a third key, so I don't have to do this again? Never mind. If this work, we'll just jimmy the lock.
Jamie: Or we'll -- I'll knock down the door. So I take it you're not going to help?
Tad: For God's sake, will you stop whining? Honestly, what's the point in hiding a door? That's mature.
[Janet hears footsteps ascending the stairs and hides]
Tad: Ok, here we go.
Jamie: What are the chances that there's a beer in there?
Tad: We do hope you enjoy your stay. What do we have here?
Krystal: Honey, have you seen Adam? He's not answering his cell phone.
Babe: No. I'm sorry, he's not downstairs. But how about you lie down and take a nap? Come on.
Krystal: Honey, I -- my feet are swollen, my back hurts, my mind is racing -- how can I sleep?
Babe: Just get into bed. You need to take advantage of the lack of chaos right now.
Krystal: I would just feel so much better if I knew where my husband was.
Babe: Into bed, you. Come on. Can I get you something? You want milk, cookies?
Krystal: You could get me my husband.
Babe: Oh -- how about a back rub instead?
Babe: You need to be taking care of you right now.
Krystal: Listen -- this house is never this quiet.
Babe: Exactly why you should take advantage.
Krystal: No, it's -- it's way too calm, honey. Something is not right.
Tad: It's not exactly the Ritz. I don't think he should expect any chocolates on his pillow.
Jamie: I hate you. What did he use this place for?
Tad: Supporting the arts?
Jamie: Interrogating hostages?
Jamie: Check this out.
Tad: Wow. It's fully stocked.
Jamie: What do you know -- no beer. This'll work.
Tad: Hey, you know what? Maybe this is where he stashed Stuart when he first came to town.
Jamie: Well, who does he plan to stash this time?
Tad: What, are you kidding? Take your pick -- you, me, Krystal.
Krystal: Think about it, honey. Adam should be tearing down all the Chandler family portraits and scheduling his photo session with Josh.
Babe: Adam is a big boy. Here.
Krystal: Oh, yeah -- with the teeth of an attack dog. He should be eating J.R. alive right now.
Babe: Well, J.R.'s been chewed up enough. He agreed to the divorce. It's finally over -- at least it will be, soon.
Krystal: Well, honey, should I be offering my congrats or my sympathies?
Babe: It is what it is.
Krystal: Yeah, but it doesn't make it any less sad.
Babe: Endings are sad. Even when you see them coming, even when things are so broke that -- that they need to happen.
Krystal: Oh, wait a minute. You -- you are not preaching to me about broken relationship.
Babe: Mama, I just don't see how you -- how can you not see what is right in front of you?
Krystal: I stood by you when you wanted to fight for your marriage. I pushed to J.R. when you wanted him, and I caught you when he tossed you back. You couldn't give up on your husband until you were ready.
Babe: But the decision has been made for you.
Krystal: No. Look, I -- you are ready to let it go. That's great. I tell you, I can't be happier for you that you're moving on. And I want you to grab as much of the joy that you can. But I am nowhere near ready to give up on my husband and don't expect me to be anytime soon.
Adam: Oh -- what
Janet: Tad and Jamie happened.
Janet: You know, you were right about those two.
Adam: Where am I?
Janet: Not only have they turned against you, they have completely lost their minds.
Jamie: Putting him in a room full of food isn't exactly payback for burning down your house
Tad: Jamie, this isn't payback. I just want Krystal's baby to be born safe -- my baby, ok? Now, Adam's going be all right in there. He's got everything he needs. The last thing we need is blood on our hands, just let it go.
Adam: What -- where the hell is my cell phone?
Janet: They're gone. Oh --
Adam: Look, I have to get out of here.
Janet: No, what you need to do is lie back down. A head injury is nothing to play around with.
Adam: Get out of my way!
Janet: You need to relax!
Janet: Just let me take care of you.
Adam: Oh, my God! I don't have a phone! And there's one way out, right?
Janet: Brilliant powers of deduction, Adam. Cookie -- a cookie. It's very important we keep our blood sugar up.
Adam: Nobody knows we're here.
Janet: Amanda does. She'll be back -- you brought her here.
Adam: Only if she has thermal GPS!
Janet: That's right -- you blindfolded her. I did think that was overkill.
[Music plays at ConFusion]
Amanda: I'm sorry your mom doesn't get it.
Zoe: No, it was silly for me to think that she would -- a little girl clutching at a naive dream.
Amanda: Little girls just want their moms to be heroes.
Zoe: When I saw her standing there, my heart leapt into my throat. Suddenly I was 9 years old again, and I wanted to beg her to, I don't know, take me to the zoo or something. I wanted to clutch her and -- and gush and maybe call her "Mommy" a few hundred times. Have her stroke my hair -- and for one minute she did.
Amanda: My mom used to brush my hair every night before we went to bed. That's when I would tell her everything.
Zoe: You have no idea how lucky you are. My mother always used to wear the same perfume, lilacs -- she still does. Actually, one time when we went shopping -- I'm the one that picked it out -- she said, "Freddie, go out and pick me something nice." She's the one --
Singer: So far from me
Zoe: I'm sorry. Forgive me for being self-absorbed again. Here I am, going on and on about my mother, and your mother's missing. How are you?
Amanda: As well as can be expected -- but ask the friendly officer over there. There's one at my home and one here ever since they found out my mom's missing.
Zoe: Have they heard anything yet?
Amanda: The cops think that she'll try to contact me.
Zoe: Do you think they're right?
Amanda: Mom isn't well. She needs 24/7 care and meds four times a day. And if she doesn't stay on her medication, she's going to get worse psychologically, so I'm terrified for her.
Zoe: What can I do?
Amanda: Honestly, talk about anything but mother.
Zoe: Ok, gladly.
Amanda: Ok. The food.
Marjie: This Zoe person you keep talking about, this -- this woman -- I don't know her.
Bianca: You know, she's not all that different from the child you raised.
Marjie: I raised a boy, a man.
Bianca: Was he smart and funny and kind and generous?
Marjie: All of that. He was so creative as a child -- loved playing the piano.
Bianca: And -- and did he have a huge imagination?
Marjie: Oh, the stories he would write.
Bianca: And that laugh --
Marjie: Like a foghorn --
Marjie: Loud and -- and clear, straight from the heart.
Bianca: What was his favorite food?
Marjie: Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.
Bianca: Nothing has changed. Zoe is that person. If you look at her, if you -- if you really look at her, you will know the person that you see.
Tad: You look pretty ragged.
J.R.: Babe and I are going to divorce. Why don't you throw a party, huh?
Tad: I'm sorry, J.R. I can't say I'm surprised.
J.R.: Yeah, well, you know, I get to play Daddy on the weekends, maybe every other holiday.
Tad: Well, I'm not happy about it.
J.R.: Well, karma can bite you in the ass. I mess up your family, I lose mine -- that's -- that's how it goes, you know?
Tad: I'm in no position to pass judgment on anyone.
J.R.: Well, you must think that it's poetic justice, yeah? Hmm?
Tad: No. Justice implies something that's fair, and there's nothing about this that's fair for anybody. I don't understand it -- or you. I don't understand you anymore, J.R. Here you are, killing yourself to do what's right for your son, and it was so easy for you to hand my child off.
J.R.: "It was easy for me"? Are you kidding me?
Tad: You were going to give my daughter to Adam to raise. That's not you. Where's the little boy I loved, the little boy I raised? What happened to him?
J.R.: I grew up.
Tad: Did you? Who are you, J.R.? Sometimes I don't think you know.
Babe: Close your eyes and just think when you wake up, you are going to be that much closer to holding your new little girl.
Krystal: Will you please just let me know the minute Adam walks through that door?
Babe: You love Adam. I get it -- you want to fight for him. Fine. You fight away. But for the next 60 minutes, you are sleeping.
Krystal: I just can't shake this feeling that something is not right.
Babe: Yeah, you want to know what it is? It's your little girl saying "Hello, Mama, I am tired and so are you.
Krystal: Oh, I have felt better.
Babe: You have a big day coming up. You really do need to get your rest.
Krystal: Yes, ma'am. Will you just please tell me when --
Babe: "Tell me when Adam gets back."
Singer: But it's ok
Zoe: So before I knew it, there were about 65 gel shots lined up in front of me --
Zoe: And I said to the man -- I said -- I said, "Officer, I have no idea who consumed such copious amounts of sugar."
Amanda: Never mind vodka.
Zoe: Oh, well, that's a given.
Man: Excuse me.
Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Zoe: Only if you'll share one with me. Fill 'er up.
Amanda: All right. There you go.
Zoe: What should we toast to, my good man?
Singer: Never so far from me
Man: You're a sick freak. Ah. I mean, this place used to be great -- fun, tons of hot chicks. Don't turn it into a zoo. We don't want to feed the animals.
Del: That's enough, buddy.
Amanda: Get out!
Man: Hey -- leave her alone, man.
Second man: What? Are you saying you like to see this -- this thing here?
Del: All right, get out before I escort you out by your face.
Zoe: No, no, let me handle this. To you, sir. To men. To manly men. To normal men. To men as God intended.
Amanda: That's bull.
Zoe: To fine, strapping men who preserve the natural order of things. To men who show the rest of us our place in this world. Without men like you, this -- this world would be chaos, mayhem. The sun would set and never rise. We are so "lucky" to have men like you in our midst.
Zoe: And such a mastery of the English language! I am in awe. Your parents must be very proud -- I know mine would be.
Amanda: Don't, Zoe.
Zoe: Don't what, state the obvious? Mommies and daddies everywhere hope for a son like you. I know somewhere in the fantasy of my parents' burnt-out dreams, there's a grown-up me who's every bit the stallion you are. Huh -- a man that -- a -- a man that even you would approve of, and go to the game with and -- and go drinking with.
Man: Not a chance.
Zoe: Of course not. Because that me doesn't exist. It's only what might've been. But my -- he still lives in my parents' dreams. They would've loved you -- every arrogant, bigoted part of you. To parents. To you, sir. To normalcy. God bless everyone!
Del: Did you get all that, buddy? Let's go.
Marjie: This is Freddie before his first chorus solo.
Marjie: He always had such a voice.
Bianca: I like this one -- with his Hawaiian shirt.
Marjie: He never let anyone pick his clothes. Ah. This is Little League -- Bill was his coach, he was so proud of him. Now he won't even talk about Freddie.
Bianca: How do you handle that?
Marjie: We don't. At night when Bill thinks I'm asleep, he cries. This Zoe person breaks both our hearts. You -- you can't understand.
Bianca: I'm a mother. And it kills me to see my daughter teased or -- or hurt. There was a time when an older kid made some comment about how Miranda's mommy wasn't normal. Of course, she didn't understand, but she just cried -- and I cried even harder for her.
Marjie: How do I do it? How do I help my son?
Bianca: Zoe may never fit in. There are always going to be people who stare. Some people will be cruel, some people will hate her just because. It hurts, and it is scary.
Marjie: I only want my child to be happy.
Bianca: We can't put a bubble around our children -- even if we wanted to. There is no magic protection for them, no shield. There is only love.
Janet: Adam, you -- you've worked yourself up! Here -- have a drink. Calm down.
Adam: Get -- get the hell out of my way!
Janet: You know -- ahem -- deep breaths. In my yoga class, I always found that the sun salutation was really the most effective.
Adam: Deep breathing isn't going to change the fact that Tad Martin impregnated my wife! Not going to -- not going to change the facts. Your deep breathing isn't going to change the fact that my -- my wife is carrying his child! And she swears it was mine!
Tad: You bellowed?
Krystal: What did you do with my husband?
Tad: Oh, Lord, what does he accuse me of this time? Do I need a lawyer?
Krystal: I -- I wish I knew. He's nowhere to be found, Tad, and something is wrong. It's just not like Adam to slink off like this.
Tad: I don't know about that. I, for one, think he does rather well slinking.
Krystal: Oh --
Tad: Well, you know, fine. Maybe he just needed some privacy, you know, to celebrate burning me out of house and home.
Krystal: Where is he?
Tad: I -- was it my job to look for him? Oh, let me run over to Marian's and Stuart's. Maybe I could, like, trod over to the Valley Inn for you.
Krystal: This isn't "Where's Waldo? " Now, what did you do with Adam?
Tad: Oh -- I love this. I love this. Quizzes -- this is good. Wait -- um -- ok, what were my options again? Don't tell me, I got it. I could -- hmm -- press charges? Nope, can't do that, because I don't have any evidence. I could shoot him in the head, but that'd be like overkill. Maybe I could burn down this house, but that would be a little too much collateral damage. I got it, I remember -- I could beat the snot out of him. That would --
Krystal: Would you just stop with the sarcasm, Tad, and quit tap-dancing around this subject?
Tad: What do you want from me?
Krystal: The truth.
Tad: The truth? You know what? Coming from you, that's very ironic.
Krystal: This is not about me.
Tad: Oh, the hell it isn't. Come on. What is it going to take for you to see reality, darling? Maybe he just got sick of living under the same roof with people he can't stand. He's run dry, he's drawing a blank, he's run out of scenarios to get rid of us, so he figured he'd be the one to leave. Maybe he just -- left you.
Krystal: Oh, I get it. You lost the love of your life, and now you want me to lose mine.
Babe: I really don't have the energy tonight, Josh.
Josh: You still take my breath away.
Babe: Please don't.
Josh: Look, I know you have more than your dose of drama going on right now. I'm not going to add to it.
Babe: Good, because you've done enough.
Josh: I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss away every bad thought in your head.
Babe: Don't even think about it.
Josh: Ok, fine. Look, I don't want to push. I just --
Babe: Look --
Josh: I just want to tell you something.
Babe: I know. I just -- I can't -- I really can't listen to any more.
Josh: You'll like this, I promise.
[Zoe arrives home and collapses on the couch, then looks at herself in her compact's mirror and hurries to the bedroom.]
Josh: I couldn't resist the opportunity to stick it to J.R.
Babe: No kidding.
Josh: I just wanted to be close to you.
Babe: You didn't have to have so much fun doing it.
Josh: Look, you're a smart, grown woman. If you say you're going to be fine, then you're going to be fine.
Babe: I have it under control.
Josh: And you're sure you're not going to be in any danger with J.R. and Adam in this house?
Babe: I can handle J.R.
Josh: What about Adam? He's out for blood.
Babe: Under control.
Josh: All right, then. Then I'm only a phone call away if you need anything. I don't belong here. I'm leaving.
Adam: I don't want your sympathy.
Janet: Betrayal is a bitter pill. Adam, the secret is to take it and tuck it under your tongue until you need it.
Adam: I'm going to shove it down Tad Martin's throat.
Janet: Trevor betrayed me. He was the love of my life, and he gave up on us. I didn't take that very well.
Adam: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't need a freezer, thank you.
Janet: Well, yes, that was unfortunate. I overreacted, but you should learn from my mistakes. And if it is any consolation, you know, there was something always so cheap about Krystal, so tawdry. She just oozed --
Adam: Shut your crazy mouth about her! You don't know anything about Krystal.
Krystal: I'm -- I'm sorry, Tad. I shouldn't have said that.
Tad: You know something? Every morning I wake up, and it physically hurts when I remember I'm never going to see her again. And I wouldn't wish that on anybody, least of all the mother of my child.
Krystal: I know, I know.
Tad: At the same time, I haven't exactly been a Boy Scout in this situation. I've put a lot of pressure on you, said an awful lot of things that were out of line. So, I'm sorry.
Krystal: Does this mean that you're ready to accept the fact that Adam is going to be in this child's life?
Tad: You're just like a little heat-seeking missile.
Tad: Why can't we just -- I'll tell you what? No, wait. Can we not talk about Adam for five minutes? I have a really, really god idea. You know what? For the next few days, let's just worry about the baby.
Krystal: Oh, are you kidding? That's all I can think about. This baby's way too feisty already.
Tad: This baby's gonna be fantastic -- I mean, do the math. Have you taken a good look at me lately, huh? And rumor has it you're not so bad either, so --
Krystal: "Rumor has it"?
Tad: She's going to be amazing. And I would never do anything to hurt you --
Krystal: Well --
Tad: Or try to take her away from you.
Krystal: Well, I'd like to see you try.
Tad: Ok, fine. I went in the wrong direction. Let's just turn back into -- over here. I tell you what. If we are going to be parents -- which, obviously, we are -- I think we're going to have to be a team. That's just how parenting works. So what do you say, amigo? You want to declare a truce?
[Looking into a mirror, Zoe applies make-up to one side of her face only, then she answers a knock at the door and sadly stares at her mother and Bianca.]
Marjie: I'm so sorry. I -- I'm so sorry for all the things I said.
Zoe: Oh, no, it's all right. You're honest. Honesty is refreshing -- it's all that one could ask for.
Bianca: Zoe, could you just listen to your --
Zoe: Go back to Elkhart, Marjie. You'll never see this woman again.
Marjie: That's not what I want.
Zoe: If you'll excuse me.
[When Marjie turns to leave, Zoe runs into her arms.]
Zoe: Oh, Mom -- Mom, don't go, don't go. I need you. Oh, God.
Zoe: Don't go, don't leave me.
Marjie: Oh --
Singer: Why can't you look at me? Tell me what I've done wrong
J.R.: You look -- you're amazing.
Singer: Baby, you know this all we have is in jeopardy
J.R.: Yeah, hi, this is J.R. Chandler.
Singer: And I
J.R.: My wife and I have agreed to proceed with this divorce. You should be expecting a phone call from her attorney. Give her what she wants --
Singer: I kept you in the shadows
J.R.: But stall this divorce as long as you can.
Adam: We're through talking about Krystal.
Janet: No, betrayal's very hard to recover from. It erodes your self-esteem, and it feels as if someone just reached right into your chest and ripped out your heart.
Singer: The innocence is broken and the feeling that it shares. If we try and catch a beautiful faith. To fight they can't breathe well, they need room to grow. They need room to grow
[Tad smiles when Krystal shows him the baby's sonogram then beams as she places his hand on her belly, and he feels the baby move.]
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Kendall: You and Ryan are getting married -- yay.
Annie: You're yaying, which can only mean one thing -- I must be sicker than I thought.
Aidan (to Ava): I'm here because I know someone who wants to meet you.
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