All My Children Transcript Thursday 3/8/07
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Provided By Glynis
Proofread by Gisele
Zoe: Is it possible to dream for something and to dread it at the same time?
Bianca: Joe Martin says that Dr. Massey's very good.
Zoe: Thank you -- for coming with me.
Bianca: Starting transition is a huge step. If there is anything I can do to help --
Kendall: Any better this morning?
Zach: Sorry I came in late. I didn't want to wake you up.
Kendall: Were you at the cemetery?
Zach: I'm here now.
Kendall: You know, I do have a little experience in fathers/monsters.
Zach: What's your plan for the day?
Kendall: There's life past this. I'll help you find it. I promise.
Myrtle: Do I get to say "I told you so"?
Jack: I'll have the task force report to you before the night is over, all complete with all the statements. Very good.
Jack: Hello, Erica.
Erica: You told me that Kendall would come home safe. Thank you. Thank you for helping to save her.
Jack: She's my daughter, too.
Erica: Now, what about this mess you created with Josh?
Josh: Good morning. Breakfast has arrived. How'd you sleep?
Babe: How do you think?
Josh: Good point. Why don't we take a quick blood pressure check?
Babe: How can you be so calm about this? Don't you want to ask what I've decided? Do I stay and fight J.R., or am I going to run with Little Adam and you?
J.R.: Little Adam isn't very good at keeping secrets.
Krystal: Excuse me?
J.R.: He saw his mother last night. Why don't you take me to see his mother, too?
Krystal: Little Adam didn't see anybody last night, J.R. Not with me. I -- I don't know where he got that idea.
J.R.: Where did you take my son after you told me I couldn't tell him about Babe?
Krystal: I -- I know you couldn't tell him. Nobody wants to break his heart.
J.R.: But Winifred saw you putting him in the car. You went somewhere with him.
Krystal: I -- I wanted to spend some quality time with my grandson.
J.R.: Well, where did you go? You know, on second thought, why don't you take me where you took my son last night?
Babe: No suggestions on where to go, how to leave?
Josh: It's your life, your decision.
Babe: Ok, you -- you didn't mind giving me your opinion yesterday.
Josh: You make up your mind, let me know. Have some juice.
Babe: All I can think about is holding my son. I -- I can't lose him.
Josh: Then take him with you. We get out of here away from J.R.
Babe: I will never be away from J.R. He'll do whatever he can to find us. And even if I stay and if I tell him that it's over -- really, truly over -- he'll do whatever he can to take Little Adam in the divorce.
Josh: Like you said last night, you could lose your son completely.
Babe: And Mama could lose the love of her life. There's no right way out of this. Either way, it could end in disaster, and Mama's secret will come out when it hits.
Krystal: You think I took him to the cemetery?
J.R.: Well, you sneaked him out somewhere.
Krystal: You think I took my 3-year-old grandson on a late-night field trip? Never mind the dark, or -- or the big scary cemetery. "That's what your daddy's been trying to tell you, Little A. That's where your mommy is -- underground, and she's never coming home. " You really think I could do that?
J.R.: No. You're right, Krystal. I'm sorry. But why would he say that he saw his mother?
Krystal: He misses her, J.R. He's not the only one.
J.R.: So he just makes up some secret visit?
Krystal: You don't think he senses that there's something huge going on here? Yeah, he may be a toddler, but he's lived here long enough to -- to feel a change. I mean, the grief is as thick as fog.
J.R.: I know. I know. I have done everything I can to make it feel like it's normal here, like nothing's going wrong.
Krystal: I know. But when I went in to check on him last night, the poor thing was wide awake. I just -- I wanted to take him for a drive, that's all.
J.R.: He loves car trips. Did he fall asleep? Are you sure he didn't say anything?
Krystal: No. No, I don't know why he would say something like that, J.R. I mean, maybe he had a dream about his mama.
J.R.: I'm sorry, Krystal.
Krystal: It's ok. We're all a little bit high-strung lately.
J.R.: I just need to figure out a way to tell him -- somehow.
Krystal: Give it time. No, it's better to wait and do it right.
J.R.: Yeah. I've got a meeting I have to get to.
Erica: The killer has been caught, but Babe is still lying. She's still pretending that she's dead. And she's doing it with help from you, because you helped to falsify those legal documents, Jack. What is going on?
Jack: Honestly, Erica, I don't know. I've been kind of busy with the catching-the-killer part.
Erica: Well, Josh is insisting --
Jack: Take a walk, please.
Erica: Josh is insisting that I keep this insane secret. People deserve to know that she's alive.
Jack: Look, if Babe wants to take a little time to decide what to do with her life, and her death, I'm not going to get in the way, or Josh's.
Erica: Because he's my son, and not yours?
Jack: No, because when did our meddling ever help anybody, Erica?
Erica: Meddling? You really think I'm meddling, because I don't want to see my son throw his life away? I don't want to see him lose his -- his license to practice medicine. And you know there is no going back from that. And I don't want to see him lose his heart to a -- a woman who's married and makes no move at all to get unmarried.
Jack: We made a promise to each other. You remember it? We weren't going to interfere in our children's lives.
Erica: You don't see that this -- this is critical?
Jack: It was part of the foundation of our marriage.
Erica: You sure played by different rules when it was your daughter Lily involved with Jonathan.
Jack: Yes, I did, and I see now that that was probably a mistake. And ever since that day, I've been trying to do everything I can to uphold this promise. I have been honoring the terms of our marriage. How about you?
Erica: I came here to ask you to help me with Josh. And you decide to hurt him, instead, as some sort of payback to Jeff and me? Wow, that is some bonus.
Jack: No, Erica, I reserve my payback for things that actually make sense for me to be passionate about. Like putting psychotic killers behind bars.
Erica: Nut cases make you feel passionate these days? That makes a lot of sense to me. Do give Barbara my regards.
Kendall: You kids have fun. Behave yourselves. I will see you.
Kendall: I'll miss you. Bye. Huh.
Myrtle: You know, I should have bet on you two. I'd have won a fortune.
Zach: And I would have paid you half of it.
Myrtle: You saved her life. Oh, God, it must have been hell.
Bianca: You don't have to do this today.
Zoe: I do. It's time.
Bianca: But if you're not ready, we can reschedule. You can come back tomorrow.
Zoe: Oh, well, then tomorrow turns into the day after, and then that turns into a week and then a month. And all the while, I'm losing precious time being me, feeling what I know I should feel. I wanted this my whole life, even before I realized it.
Bianca: I just want you to be sure.
Zoe: I'm sure. Doesn't make it any less frightening.
Bianca: What scares you the most?
Zoe: Oh, I could say physical this or internal that, or -- but truly, I'm afraid I'll go through all of this and still be lost. That I'll be in some hormonal limbo and -- and know even less about myself. And I won't have any groupies or leather pants or auras or anything to hide behind.
Bianca: Nobody's got a stopwatch on you. You can set your own pace.
Zoe: Oh. What I need is a pit stop.
Bianca: Well, then we raise the caution flag.
Zoe: I don't even fully know Zoe.
Bianca: I know, but you will. And for now, just listen. Just listen to what the doctor has to say. I brought a tape recorder. I'm going to record it, and then we can remember everything.
Zoe: No doubt about it. You are perfect.
Bianca: And then, you can take all the time in the world that you need to figure out what comes next.
Babe: J.R. still has control of my life, even when I'm finally sure that I want out of it.
Josh: Well, you know where I stand. If it were up to me, we'd be on the next plane out of here. But it's all on you.
Babe: Yeah, and time -- time is running out.
Josh: Listen, if you want to stay and fight J.R. in court, I'll help you win, no matter what. You want to stay dead, I will make sure no one ever finds --
[Kendall walks in and greets Babe with a smile and a warm hug.]
J.R.: I didn't expect to see you two here.
Bianca: Don't, J.R. If you're about to make some kind of an ugly comment, just keep it to yourself.
J.R.: I'm sorry.
Zoe: I'm confused. Was that directed towards me?
J.R.: I'm sorry for the way that I treated you. It was ignorant and cruel, and you didn't deserve it. And just because I don't understand her doesn't give me the right to treat her less than human.
Erica: Bianca, I -- listen, could I have a moment? I really need to speak with you.
Nurse: The doctor's ready for you now.
Zoe: You can stay out here.
Bianca: Oh, no, no. No, of course not. Mom, I'm sorry. I don't have time right now. Later, ok? Love you.
Josh: Thank God you're safe.
Kendall: I am glad to be home.
Babe: We heard -- about what happened in Vegas.
Kendall: Can that just stay in Vegas?
Babe: How are you really holding up?
Kendall: I'm numb. Relieved. Relieved it's over.
Babe: Well, he can't hurt us again. We both beat him.
Kendall: In my head I know that.
Babe: It just doesn't stop the pit in your stomach.
Josh: You're both safe. That's all that matters.
Babe: And how about Zach? How's he?
Kendall: He's dealing. Sometimes good, sometimes not so much.
Babe: Just give him some time.
Kendall: Yeah. I wish it were that simple. Now I know why never heard about you rising from the dead.
Josh: She's taking some time, too.
Kendall: You don't really think you can keep this a secret, do you?
Babe: Maybe just long enough to give me some time to disappear with my son.
Kendall: With my brother along for the ride?
Josh: That's up to Babe.
Kendall: Do you guys know what you're doing?
Josh: We'll be ok.
Kendall: Right. Ok, that's what you thought last time, too.
Babe: Nothing is decided. I know -- I know how risky this can be, and I know what J.R. can do, but stay or go -- either way, I am done with him.
Kendall: Well, if you decide to bail, I won't tell anyone.
Babe: Thank you.
Kendall: I don't want to see you guys leave, but whatever you do, do it quickly.
Babe: We will.
Kendall: I'm glad that you made it.
Babe: You, too. And how about Dani ? Have you heard from her?
Josh: I -- I talked to her. She's doing much better.
Kendall: Yeah, well, Hawaii will do that for you.
Josh: Yeah. She's staying to go to school there.
Babe: I can't blame her for not wanting to come back.
Kendall: At least she survived.
Babe: So did we.
Kendall: I can't say that for everyone. Oh --
Josh: Are you all right?
Myrtle: Zach, you are not your father. Nothing you have done in this lifetime has created that monster. And there are ways -- there are ways that you can get rid of him. Look, just love and -- and forgive yourself. Be happy. You and your wife -- you can have a family, and friends. You can have a wonderful life. Zach -- Zach, darling, you deserve a wonderful life.
Zach: I don't deserve you.
Myrtle: Well, now, that's different. But -- well, you're very easy on the eyes. So I just pass it up.
Zach: Hmm. I'll let my wife know.
Myrtle: No one expects you to pay for that man's sins. Not even the women who died would ask that from you.
Zach: Drink your coffee.
Zach: Then I'll take you home.
Bianca: Do you mind if I record this?
Dr. Massey: Oh, no, no, go ahead.
Bianca: Thank you.
Dr. Massey: So, you're here to begin hormone administration?
Dr. Massey: Yes. Well, my first job as an endocrinologist is to make sure you understand all the benefits and risks involved in this treatment.
Bianca: There -- there are risks?
Dr. Massey: Oh, quite a few.
Zoe: Oh, I've seen all the research. I'm an -- I'm an Internet MD by now.
Dr. Massey: From a reputable medical source?
Zoe: Oh, you name it, I've seen it. Too many sleepless nights.
Dr. Massey: Hmm. Why don't you tell me what you've learned?
Zoe: Some of the results from the hormones can be seen and felt fairly quickly.
Bianca: How quickly is fairly?
Dr. Massey: Oh, a couple of months. I mean, in as little as six, some of the changes are irreversible.
Zoe: Things like skin softening and breasts and fat redistribution -- they take place over a gradual period of time.
Bianca: Fat redistribution?
Dr. Massey: Mm-hmm. It's part of what gives women their shape versus the traditional triangle of a man. Now, you never had any estrogen prior to this, right? According to your chart --
Zoe: No, no. Major chicken.
Dr. Massey: Smart. Hormone therapy is highly customized to your blood type and your body type. If you had taken estrogen from the street, you could have incurred potentially fatal side effects.
Bianca: But that's just street drugs, right? I mean, what you prescribe will be completely safe?
Dr. Massey: Hormones are the commands of the body. They tell us to breathe, to eat, to sleep.
Bianca: Yeah, but I didn't realize that --
Zoe: Uh-uh. What else do I need to know, Doctor?
Dr. Massey: Of course, we'll know more after some blood work.
Bianca: Ok, but -- I'm sorry, can you just tell me more about these risks?
Dr. Massey: There's also the possibility of circulatory or organ problems. Plus high blood pressure, liver damage, tumors, and blood clots.
Bianca: How big are the chances of these side effects?
Dr. Massey: Well, some are more common than others. I mean, blood clots are less common, but can lead to aneurysms, DVT -- deep vein thrombosis -- and pulmonary embolisms.
Bianca: But an embolism can be --
Dr. Massey: Fatal, yes.
Zoe: Oh -- this is the part where you try to scare me, right?
Dr. Massey: This is the part where I lay out all the potential dangers. You can't make an informed decision about this process if you don't have all the facts.
Nurse: Doctor, that call you're expecting -- it's on line four.
Dr. Massey: Excuse me. Try to think if you have some questions for me.
Bianca: You don't have to do this. You don't have to do any of it. You are who you are. Anybody can see that.
J.R.: I'm J.R. I'm an alcoholic.
All: Hello, J.R.
Krystal: Amanda? Honey, are you ok? Come on in.
Amanda: I'm -- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come.
Krystal: No, no, no, it's ok. How can I help you?
Amanda: I just needed to talk to somebody. Somebody who misses Babe.
Krystal: Sure. Come on in. It is -- it's hard to deal with. I know.
Amanda: But I shouldn't have to. Babe should be here. And I can't get her out of my head. I -- I can't sleep. I keep having these dreams. And Babe's laughing, and she's giving me advice on the club, and I'm giving her advice about J.R. Not that she'd listen.
Krystal: She always did what she felt was best.
Amanda: So what do I do? I keep waiting for Babe to bust through ConFusion's doors with the next drink idea. And all I can do is put flowers on her grave. What do we do?
J.R.: I just lost my wife. That's where the bottom is. I've wanted so bad to pick up a drink and just kill the pain and the guilt and the anger, and just chug away my feelings in a bottle of Scotch. But instead of drinking, I've just been pissed off at everyone. I wouldn't take responsibility for my own actions. I mean, I'd say that I would, but every time there was a crack, I'd just slide right on through. And I became so suspicious of the people that I was supposed to trust in my life. I mean, the woman that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with -- her faith, her trust -- I'd spit on them. She'd make mistakes, and I wouldn't forgive. Look, I'm not saying that I want to be some sort of prince, but if I can't learn to deal with my problems, I'm never going to be sober. You know, I've been reading this book a lot lately. Especially step eight. Write down all the names of everyone you've hurt. It's a big list. What if the person that you need to make amends to the most isn't there anymore? How do you -- how do you make amends if she's dead?
Kendall: I'm fine. I'm fine, ok? I -- I stood up too fast, that's all. If you recall, I had a couple of rough days.
Josh: All right, you need to get checked out. Did you eat anything today?
Kendall: No, I left without breakfast.
Josh: All right, stay right here. I'll be right back.
Babe: Hmm. Could be something else, you know. Is it possible? Count back.
Kendall: Well, I -- I can count.
Babe: It is, isn't it?
Kendall: I'm just, I -- you know what? I'm exhausted.
Kendall: I'm exhausted, that's all.
Babe: Yeah -- and that goes away in a few months.
Kendall: You're funny. You're very funny. Now, you have a major decision to make.
Kendall: So, what are you going to do?
Babe: I don't know.
Kendall: Well, decide, fast.
Babe: Thank you for caring.
Kendall: I'd actually miss you at Fusion if you decide to go.
Babe: I'd actually miss you, too.
J.R.: I don't know if you can make amends through prayer if someone's dead, but I'm willing to try. Heck, I'm willing to try anything at this point, because how will I ever know if what I've done is enough?
Man: Please stand.
All: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Man: Thank you.
Erica: Was that for real?
J.R.: What? Yeah, of course.
Erica: All you want is a chance to make amends to Babe?
J.R.: God, yes.
Erica: And what about my son? Do you blame Josh for this?
J.R.: I'm trying not to blame anybody. I thought that's what these meetings were about.
Kendall: I really hope this is not the last time I see you.
Babe: When I know, you'll know.
J.R.: Erica, anything that Babe did, I helped create. I pushed her to it and I forgive it. Instead of looking at myself for things that were wrong, I look at other people to blame.
Erica: Like Josh?
J.R.: Yeah, numero uno. And don't get me wrong, I -- I don't like the guy. But I'm doing my damnedest not to make my problems about Josh. I got things I got to take care of.
Amanda: Thanks. Babe loved Fusion. And they had their fights, but she really loved the women there.
Krystal: There's nothing easy about any of this.
Krystal: Oh, come here. Thank you for loving Babe.
Amanda: I did. And I'm sorry.
Krystal: It's ok. It really helps to know how people felt about her.
Zach: Where do I sign this thing?
Derek: Please read it thoroughly first. I want to make sure this statement is absolutely correct. And I'm sorry to have to make you go through all this again.
Zach: Just anything to get it behind us.
Derek: Well, the sooner the DA has this, the sooner we can start proceeding, so --
Zach: Don't worry about it.
Alexander's voice: I cannot let Kendall go. If you're to learn your lesson, it has to cost you as much as it has cost me.
Zoe: This is right. You don't have to worry about me.
Bianca: Oh, come on. How can you say that? You could get sick or die. There's a lot of people out there living their life as their true gender without any kind of medical transition -- no surgery, no hormones, no risks.
Zoe: Yes, but that was right for them, not me. This is something I've been looking for, inside, my whole life. Imagine a piece of me abandoned and tarnished. Just a little bit of polish, and it could be reborn -- beautiful.
Bianca: You don't need breasts to be beautiful.
Zoe: And as Zarf, I know I spouted all that blah-blah about bodies being separate from souls, empty vessels, but that was because I was so uncomfortable in my own. I just want the chance to be happy in my own skin -- my new, soft skin.
Bianca: Oh. Ok, well, if you want to go for it, then we go for it.
Zoe: I've just been in darkness for so long. It's like someone has switched on the light and handed me a map. The day I met you, I said that you were pure light. And here is my cartographer.
Dr. Massey: I apologize again for the interruption.
Zoe: Oh, I appreciate all of the information, Dr. Massey.
Dr. Massey: Do you have any questions for me?
Zoe: I would like to begin hormone administration -- right now.
Dr. Massey: I'm sorry, Zoe. I can't do that.
Zoe: You don't want to treat me.
Dr. Massey: Oh, not at all. But there's a protocol we have to follow. Harry Benjamin's standard of care.
Zoe: "Care. "
Bianca: I'm sure that it's for your protection.
Zoe: They say that at banks, too.
Dr. Massey: It's there to make sure that you and I agree on a course of action.
Zoe: Oh -- I see. You have to have a letter from a shrink.
Dr. Massey: Well, a psychiatric evaluation is part of the protocol.
Zoe: I know I'm a woman.
Dr. Massey: You are, Zoe. I believe you. But this is part of the educational process I told you about. You and I and, if you decide to, your surgeon must all agree what's right for you.
Bianca: It's just a little bit longer. You've waited this long.
Zoe: Ok. We'll do it your way.
Dr. Massey: In the meantime, there are some transgender folk I want you to talk to, hear their experiences, get their thoughts. There's a group meeting in just a little bit. Are you up for it?
Zoe: Here? In Pine Valley?
Dr. Massey: Not all transgender people are in the cities. Some are right here in this very hospital.
Kendall: Oh. Hey. Oh, my goodness -- what is that I see? Are you wearing your breakfast? Is that what you doing -- you're saving it for later there?
Rachael: Oh, I'm sorry I missed it.
Kendall: No, that's ok, no worries. I got it.
Rachael: Can I take an hour or so? I have a couple of errands.
Kendall: Yeah, yeah, go for it. Take all the time you need. The big man and I -- we have some very important business.
Kendall: Don't we? I know -- we do.
[After the nanny leaves, Kendall pulls out a pregnancy test]
Kendall: Here goes nothing. What do you think, Spikey? Mama's got a magic wand.
Zoe: This seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bianca: It -- It is.
Kendall: Almost ready. Hmm. So what do you think? You think Mama's wand will have some magic in it, huh? Oh, who am I kidding? You'd chew on this thing if I'd let you. Ok, baby doll. You think you'd like to have a little brother or a little sister?
[Kendall stares at the pregnancy test stick]
[At the police station, Zach faces his father in an orange prison jumpsuit]
J.R.: Can I be your son?
Babe: How do I know what's best?
Josh: Is there anything I can say to help?
Babe: Don't think so. Oh.
Josh: Found this downstairs.
Babe: Oh, my --
Josh: Maybe this will help.
Babe: Gosh, I haven't seen one of these since I was a kid.
Josh: Go ahead, ask it something.
Babe: Should I run? "Reply hazy, try again." That's not so good. I don't even want to run. If I stay, will I keep my son? "Outlook not so good."
Josh: Ok, that wasn't such a good idea.
Babe: Well, I know what it'll say if I ask it if I stay, what will J.R. do? He'll tell Mama's secret and her life will be ruined.
Josh: Hey, stop thinking about your mom. I know you love her, but you have to start thinking about your son.
[Erica sneaks up to Babe's door to eavesdrop]
Josh: We'll disappear quickly. I'll make sure it works this time.
Babe: How can you guarantee that?
Josh: They may find out you're still alive, but it won't matter. We'll be long gone by then. No one will ever find us again.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Zach (to Kendall): You're all smiley. What's going on?
Kendall: Have a cigar.
Babe (to Krystal): The only way that I will ever be free of J.R. is to disappear. This is good-bye.
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