AMC Transcript Thursday 2/8/07

All My Children Transcript Thursday 2/8/07

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J.R.: All right. Now, you see, the thing about girls --

Little Adam: My shoe fell off.

J.R.: Oh, your shoe fell off? Let's get it on. Look, they can be a lot of fun, right? They're definitely easy on the eyes. But you can't trust them as much as you trust boys.

Little Adam: I can't trust boys.

J.R.: Yeah, well -- scratch that, actually. They can mess with your head just as much, too.

Little Adam: Trust men.

J.R.: Yeah, that's right. But 9 out of 10 times, it always comes down to a girl.

Krystal: Why, Adam, when I told you not to?

Adam: Ah. It's signed and sealed.

Krystal: But I begged you, ok? I begged you not to do this.

Adam: I couldn't resist.

Krystal: Oh.

Adam: Come on. Let it go, my lovely wife.

Krystal: You happen to be one of the most stubborn people I've ever known in my whole life.

J.R.: What did you do, Dad? Show Krystal who wears the pants in the family?

Krystal: Oh -- Adam created a trust fund for Charlotte. This little nugget hasn't even seen the light of day, and she's a millionaire.

J.R.: Well, nothing is too good for Adam Chandler's child.

Adam: Ah.

Erica: Ok, I need you two to stop arguing about J.R. and Babe Chandler. I have a family announcement to make, and it takes your full and undivided attention.

Bianca: You and Uncle Jack are getting back together again?

Erica: I said a "family" announcement.

Bianca: I got news for you, Mom. Even if you two divorce, he'll still be my uncle.

Erica: Could we just get back to us? I need you two to make up before we go on the cruise.

Bianca: Cruise?

Josh: What cruise?

Erica: The one we're all going to take as a family! All of us. You, too. And Kendall, Miranda, Spike, and I. Don't give me that look. This has got to happen. This is the only way. Because you are both in danger, and this is the only way to save Kendall's life.

Kendall: Where's Spike?

Annie: He's in the other room sleeping, but when you say came for Spike --

Kendall: It pretty much speaks for itself. Spike is my son. I'm taking him home with me.

Emma: Ryan is my daddy, and my brother, Spike, has to stay with us.

Zach: What did you just say to me?

Jenkins: If anyone killed Amelia, it was your father.

Jenkins: Alex -- take it easy, Alex. Alex!

[Zach goes nuts, throwing around furniture, then grabs the older man by the collar and starts to throttle him.]

Jenkins: Alex! Help!

Ryan: Look, before you and I go in there, and our every sound is tapped, I want to make sure that we're on the same page, you know, in case this Jenkins isn't our man.

Tad: Well, he didn't know anything about V-tach when we nailed him, and he didn't have any gardenias or ribbons, so --

Ryan: Right, which means the real killer is probably still out there waiting to make his next move.

Tad: I hate to say it, but you are the only person he's reached out to so far.

Ryan: And I'm going to be the one to reach back.

Babe: Is everything ok? It -- you must be freezing. You know, there's this great restaurant across the street. It's warm, and they make a pretty mean Mac, if I do say so myself. It's on me, if I could just find my cash. I'm sorry, I'm a mess. Give me a second. I promise it's worth the wait.

[The homeless person in front of Babe reaches for a syringe]

Josh: No, I think you have it backwards, Erica. The four of us go on a cruise, lives won't be saved. We'll all kill each other.

Erica: No, no, no. This is a win-win situation. This is a chance for all of us to have a little fun together, and grow together, and at the same time, keep Bianca and Kendall from being murdered.

Bianca: You actually think that you're going to get Kendall to leave her husband behind, now?

Erica: Well, your sister is impossible, so I think that you two could convince her that this is for the best.

Josh: I've already tried, Erica, and I think Bianca is right -- nothing is going to keep Kendall away from Zach. And sorry to deflate your dinghy, but I'm not leaving Pine Valley.

Erica: Not even to protect your sisters?

Bianca: We're not the only women in town that Josh feels compelled to protect.

Erica: Josh, I am sure that Mama doll will do everything in her power to protect baby doll. I mean, God knows, she has enough money at her disposal, now that she has gold-dug her way into Adam Chandler's bed.

Josh: What about you? What about Maggie?

Bianca: Maggie is on her way back to Paris.

Erica: Perfect! Then you're free to come along.

Bianca: I'm not exactly in a cruising mood right now, Mom.

Erica: Ok, listen to me, both of you. I know that there are people in Pine Valley who you are both drawn to, people who are keeping you here. But trust me, they're going to be here when you get back. And besides, why would you ever want to get drawn into something that you'll only live to regret?

Bianca: Who said anything about -- Kendall -- huh. You already pitched this little getaway to Kendall. And she turned you down, didn't she, and sicced you on us to get you off her case. Kendall's life isn't the only one you think needs saving, is it, Mom?

Josh: Who, us?

Bianca: Yeah, totally, us. She's here to get me away from a certain transgender rock star, and you away from Babe.

Babe: You know, another good thing they serve over there you might want is -- they make this killer chocolate chip malt thing. But you know, I guess it is a little cold for that. Here you go -- maybe a hot cider or a hot cocoa.

Zoe: Babe --

Officer Hannity: Can I help you?

Babe: It -- I just was giving him some money for a warm meal. Here you go. Have a good day.

Officer Hannity: All right, you got what you wanted, buddy. Now beat it.

Babe: He really wasn't bothering me.

Officer Hannity: That was nice of you, Mrs. Chandler, but you shouldn't take any chances these days. Especially since you don't have any backup.

Zoe: Oh, I told officer Hannity about the drama with the previous bodyguards. Reporting back to J.R. and all that. I hope you don't mind.

Officer Hannity: I know a cop who moonlights as a guard. I could get him over here right away.

Babe: That would be great, thank you.

Officer Hannity: Yeah.

Zoe: Bob, would you mind? Just a few more things, in private. Any better?

Babe: Oh, I'm just sick to my stomach. J.R. is waiting on my decision. Either I sign over custody of our son, or I watch him destroy my mama's entire world. It's a great choice.

Zoe: Oh, there must be something shady he's hiding, something we can use to cut him off at the knees.

Babe: That's the thing. There isn't anything. And Mama -- if she knew about this, she would tell me to take J.R. to court. She would sacrifice everything to keep me and Little A together. I know she would, and I can't let her do that, because there's not even a guarantee that I would win.

Zoe: Oh -- didn't J.R. get blotto and try to kill you? That's got to have some impact with the judge.

Babe: Yeah, you would think. But if I take him to court, he is just going to pull out the thing that he's holding over me, and I can't let him do that.

Zoe: There's more? This isn't about your affair, is it? If copping to that is all that it takes to get your son from that sadistic cretin, then by all means, go for it.

Babe: I don't care if J.R. broadcasts my affair with Josh. Practically everyone knows about it, anyway.

Zoe: Then there's nothing you should worry about.

Babe: J.R. has something meaner he can use.

J.R.: Dad, I know -- I know that you're excited about having another child, but trust funds and will changes -- it just seems so premature.

Adam: Well, this doesn't affect your inheritance, if that's what you're worried about. No, no, no, no. You and your sisters are very well provided for.

J.R.: Well, of course, that's not what I'm talking about.

Adam: Well, good. Then think of this as a gesture to welcome our baby daughter into the Chandler fold. I'm sure you'd want that for your sister.

J.R.: Oh, yeah. You bet.

Little Adam: I'm stuck! Stuck.

Annie: Let me know when you finish coloring the ballerina, and I will help you get started on the clown, ok? Good girl.

Kendall: Wow. You could not wait to tell her Ryan is her daddy. What was -- what was the next thing you came up with, Spike is your brother? He's staying here forever?

Annie: I'm calling Ryan. If you're here for Spike, you should talk to him about it first.

Kendall: Don't bother. I'm taking Spike with me no matter what Ryan wants. You let me worry about Spike. Your time would be better spent consoling your daughter. I mean, this fantasy that Spike is going to be in her family…

Annie: Kendall, don't do this --

Kendall: Or you don't have to tell her. I don't care. I mean, you can let her go on living her life thinking that she'll have something that she'll never have. She'll spend her entire adult life on a psychiatrist's couch, but that's not my problem, now, is it?

Annie: Does someone still want you dead?

Jack: Get off him, get off him. No, Zach! No, you're done! What, are you nuts? Stop it! Stop it!

Derek: What did I tell you? You touch him, I book you.

Jack: That's exactly why I didn't want you in this room. If you jeopardized this case in any way, it's going to be you and me in this room with the door locked, you got me?

Derek: What the hell got into you? What set you off?

Jack: Go on, get out of here. Turn around and go.

Ryan: I don't know if this guy wants an audience, an accomplice -- what -- I have no idea, but I'm hoping that this is our best chance to figure that out.

Tad: But even if Fusion is still bugged, there's no guarantee he's listening. This place has been deserted for a while now.

Ryan: But if he is monitoring, we could trick him into showing us his hand.

Tad: Well, it's certainly worth a shot. Let's do it.

Ryan: I'm telling you, Tad, Zach is the reason my sister's gone. He's the reason Dixie's gone. And if we do not stop him, he could be the reason why Spike grows up without a mother.

Tad: I'm the last person in the world who's going to defend Zach, but it's not like he wanted to see anybody get killed.

Ryan: Ah, he didn't personally administer the V-tach himself, but he pushed somebody else to do it. I mean, Zach even admitted that the killings are all about torturing him --

Tad: And he doesn't know why.

Ryan: Look, I know what it feels like to hate Zach and to want to make him suffer. So, in a way, I know what this guy feels right now. And personally I will do anything -- anything to protect Kendall.

Tad: Meaning?

Ryan: Meaning maybe the best way to end all of this is to get Zach out of the picture. Like, permanently.

Kendall: Are you dying to get out of here? I know I am. I definitely am.

Annie: Kendall, don't do this. You're angry at me. Don't make Spike suffer for it.

Kendall: Suffer?

Annie: Ok, that came out wrong.

Kendall: I'm his mother. He belongs with me.

Annie: Of course, he does, but if your life is in danger --

Kendall: It's not. Ok? They got the crazy man who's after me. He's in jail. We're fine.

Annie: Yeah, if that's the right guy.

Kendall: It is. And if, by some crazy chance, it's not, the casino has tons of guards everywhere.

Annie: I just don't want anything happening to that baby.

Kendall: It's not "that baby." It's my baby, mine. Not yours, not Emma's, mine. It's a good thing I came when I did. She'll have you believing that she's your mom in a few days, huh? Ok, we're going to get out of here now. I'll send for his things. Come on, bubba. Let's go, my sweet. Let's get out of here.

Ryan: Kendall will not be next. I won't let it happen. She will not die.

Tad: Yeah, but when you say you want Zach out of the picture permanently --

Ryan: Yeah, that surprises you? I mean -- I mean, come on. I've been talking about getting Zach out of our lives for years now. And don't tell me that you don't feel the same way, not after he hid Dixie from you and the kids.

Tad: I wouldn't start crying if he decided to leave town. But I think you're talking about a one-way ticket underground.

Ryan: No, what I'm talking about is if the killer wanted to target Zach and only Zach, I wouldn't lift a finger to save this SOB's life.

Tad: So you'd just stand back and watch Kendall's husband die?

Ryan: And the problem with that is?

Alexander's voice: We loved her very much, didn't we? And we miss her very much. But we'll get through this together. I'll never leave you, son. I'll never let you forget your mother.

Zoe: Whatever J.R. has on you, you can tell me.

Babe: Hmm.

Zoe: What else is he threatening, other than your mother's entire future happiness?

Babe: Would you please let it go?

Zoe: Am I the ammunition he's threatening to use against you to take Little Adam?

Babe: Oh -- ok. Remember the night that you crashed in my room, and we slept in the same bed?

Zoe: Mm-hmm.

Babe: Well, J.R. came in on us and apparently took some pictures before we woke up.

Zoe: Agh! Ugh! That manipulative schemer. Oh, Babe, I feel horrible.

Babe: No, no, please -- please. No, this is so not your fault.

Zoe: Oh, but that's silly.

Babe: No --

Zoe: A shot of you in bed with the sexually confused -- oh, God --

Babe: Hmm.

Zoe: Satin Slayer suspect -- sadly, that's the smartest thing J.R. could have done. You get a close-minded judge to oversee the custody hearings, and that picture could seal Little Adam's fate forever.

Babe: And then the Chandlers already own every judge in town.

Zoe: Oh, but this can't be completely futile. Everyone has secrets. We'll just find out J.R.'s, and we will use it against him before you even get to the court hearing.

Babe: Well, the world already knows that he's an alcoholic wannabe murderer. What's worse than that?

Zoe: Hmm. I know something that J.R. would think was worse. If his secrets are already out there, we'll just have to give him a nice, big, juicy one that he'll beg to keep under wraps.

Babe: No -- oh -- oh, my God -- I love you for thinking of this, but no. No, no, I can't -- I can't let you do it.

Zoe: I want to.

Babe: Are you sure? No, you'll humiliate yourself, no.

Zoe: Oh, please. A chance to help the one person who stood by my side when everyone else called me a freak. To the first true friend that Zoe's ever had. That's not humiliating. That's an honor.

Babe: Are you sure?

Zoe: I would do anything for you, Babe. We're best girlfriends, remember?

Babe: Hmm.

Zoe: Officer dainty!

Krystal: Yes, you did.

Adam: Oh.

Krystal: Oh.

Adam: Don't do that again.

Krystal: That's not good.

J.R.: Can you guys take this to your room?

Krystal: Oh, God.

Adam: Oh, no.

Krystal: Oh, come on, Adam. I think all this smooching is grossing your son out.

Adam: No, no, no, no, no. You can't go, not yet.

Krystal: Oh? Why? What are you up to, Adam Chandler?

Adam: Just one more tiny surprise.

Krystal: Ok. Another surprise? Hmm. Well, give me a hint.

[Phone rings]

Krystal: Oh, come on. Give me a hint.

Adam: No, no. I can't.

Krystal: You're terrible.

J.R.: Yeah.

Babe: I need to see you.

Krystal: Please, let's not --

J.R.: Well, you know where to find me.

Babe: Someplace private. Can we meet at your office?

J.R.: Finally came to your senses?

Babe: Yeah, I finally have.

J.R.: All right. Meet me in 10 minutes.

Krystal: How did you know that's what I wanted?

J.R.: All right, good news. You guys can have the house to yourselves. I'm going into the office.

Krystal: Oh.

Adam: Oh. Without a nurse?

J.R.: I'll take the wheelchair, just in case.

Adam: No, no, no, I'll -- I'll have the driver put it into the car for you.

Krystal: J.R., it's really great that you're feeling well enough to get back to work.

J.R.: Well, it's not an all-day thing. I'm just going to take care of something very important.

Krystal: I -- I know, I know. You've been impressing me so much lately.  You're a changed man, and I think that you have a real shot at being happy with Babe, and because of that, Little A will never have to be without one of his parents again. I am so proud to call you my son-in-law.

J.R.: Yeah.

Erica: Why do you two always do that? Try to make me seem like some sort of a -- a meddling monster?

Josh: Fair assessment?

Bianca: If you're going to be prejudiced, Mom, you can just go.

Erica: Prejudiced? Prejudiced? Where is that coming from? And ok, you want a fair assessment? Why are you calling me names just because I want what's best for my children?

Bianca: Oh, yeah, your definition of "best."

Erica: Ok. Why don't I define "worst," which is what I am currently witnessing? One of my daughters is a murder target. And my son is in love with another murder target -- a very married murder target, who also is a total tart. And my other daughter is in love with a -- a transgender lesbian rock star murder suspect.

Bianca: I'm not in love with her.

Erica: "Her"? Zarf the musician is now a "her"?

Bianca: Yes, she is. Her name is Zoe. And no, I'm not in love with her.

Erica: "Her"? "Zoe"? Ok -- huh. You know what this sounds like to me? This sounds like nothing but a big, fat juicy ploy to spend the rest of "its" life in women's lockup, instead of a gritty men's prison.

Josh: The cops have bigger suspects than Zoe, Erica. And How long are you going to pretend you're not into her?

Bianca: I'm not pretending anything.

Josh: Well, you're with her every day.

Erica: You're with her every day?

Bianca: He's the one who invited her to live in the same building as I do.

Erica: She's living here? Where? Not with you. No. Here, in Jack’s old loft? Are you kidding me? Did Jack sign off on this?

Bianca: Oh -- why do you care, Mom? You and Jack aren't together anymore, remember?

Josh: When are you going to admit you're attracted to her?

Bianca: Would you quit putting words in my mouth?

Tad: So you don't give a rat's hairy ass if Zach buys the farm -- I get it. Point taken. Why did you bring me down here to say that?

Ryan: Private. Been abandoned for weeks.

Tad: And?

Ryan: And you've made it very clear that you're not a fan of Zach's, and that you wouldn't lose any sleep if he fell off the face of the earth tomorrow.

Tad: Where are you going with this, Ryan?

Ryan: Just maybe we can work together to make that happen. Let's just say Zach has a little bit of an accident. Chances are that the Satin Slayer would take the fall for it, right? We get what we want, the killer gets what he wants, and no more innocent lives are taken.

Tad: Whatever my feelings are concerning vigilante justice for a serial killer, you're taking this thing to a level I'm just not comfortable with. So I'm going to do you a favor. I'm going to forget this conversation ever happened.

Ryan: You're turning me down?

Tad: Turning what down? This meeting never took place.

[Ryan leaves but Tad stays in Fusion's office with a loaded gun.]

Zach: What's he doing here?

Kendall: Spike's going to stay with us again, where he belongs.

Zach: You're taking him back to the penthouse right now.

Kendall: I'm not going anywhere. The cops have Jenkins. It's over. We are safe.

Zach: We don't know that. We don't have any evidence against the guy, and until we do, he should be with Ryan.

Kendall: No, Zach, absolutely not. There's no way I'm letting Annie play mother to my Spikey. No way.

Zach: Is that what this is all about?

Kendall: You -- she is using Spike to get to Ryan. I mean, you should have seen her. It was pathetic, the way she was coaching Emma. She actually got her to call him "Daddy."

Zach: Ryan is her daddy.

Kendall: No, he is a sperm donor.

Zach: Oh --

Kendall: Big difference. Right?

Zach: So you're willing to put Spike at risk, because you are jealous of Annie?

Annie: Oh, thank God. I couldn't get through to your voicemail. Did you get my text?

Ryan: Why? What's wrong?

Emma: Hi, Daddy!

Ryan: Hi. Hi. Oh. Oh. Wow, yeah. I -- I am your daddy, which I happen to think is one of the greatest things in the entire -- entire world. How about you? Are you ok with that? Did -- did your mommy tell you how I got to be your daddy?

Emma: Yeah. Yeah, my brother's gone.

Ryan: Your brother? Spike?

Annie: Sweetheart, why don't you go finish that clown picture you were making for Ryan, huh? Good girl. Those damn Kane women were here all day.

Josh: But you did talk to Babe?

Zoe: I did.

Josh: And is she ok? Did -- did she ask to speak to me?

Zoe: Yes, yes, Josh, she's fine. And no, she didn't ask for you. I'm sorry.

Erica: Bianca, this is definitely a man.

Josh: Look, I know how tough Babe can be. I know her. But she can't get through this alone. She needs me.

Zoe: Trust me, Josh, Babe needs no man to help her now. Ms. Kane, you have no idea how long I've waited for this moment.

Erica: No, I couldn't imagine.

Zoe: Oh -- oh, forgive me. Oh, I know what it's like to have fans pestering you and showering you with unwanted attention. And I swore I'd never be that person. Yet here I am -- in awe because -- um -- well, you're the you. Oh, God -- you've always carried yourself with such style and dignity. And the way you treat your fans -- the epitome of not too close, yet not too far away. I'll never be like you, but I try.

Erica: Well, I -- I think it's very nice that you try. But you and I are very, very different.

Zoe: No, no, not so different, in many ways. The fame, the celebrity, the attention. I'm sure you have throngs of handsome men throwing themselves at you and showering you with attention. Well, I've had my fair share of groupies at the stage door.

Erica: Female groupies?

Zoe: Yes. How to deal with all that temptation. I remember what you wrote in "Having It All," chapter 5.

Erica: Chapter 5 -- my romance chapter.

Zoe: Oh, I would love to spend more time talking with you, Ms. Kane.

Erica: Oh, no, please -- no, call me Erica.

Zoe: Erica. Well, I really have something rather urgent that I need to attend to, so if you'll excuse me --

Erica: Yes, of course. Bianca, that is most decidedly a man.

Bianca: Not for long.

Erica: You know, maybe I have misjudged her -- um -- what's her name?

Bianca: Zoe.

Erica: Zoe -- I think I may have judged Zoe too quickly. Why don't we all just step back and reassess the situation?

Josh: What situation?

Erica: Bianca is attracted to a man.

Bianca: Oh, my God -- stop, right there. Stop, Mom, or else, I -- I can't be responsible for --

Erica: No, no, honey, I just want you to stop and ask yourself, what does this mean? Because -- well, this -- this man who's been standing here talking to me, kissing me -- I mean, this is a man. And despite all your protests, you are drawn to him.

Bianca: If she starts to say that this means I'm not gay --

Erica: Did I say that? Would I say that? I didn't say that. But before Zoe runs off to have any surgery, could I make one small suggestion?

Babe: That was fast.

J.R.: New boyfriend?

Babe: Actually, no, he's a policeman. And he's my bodyguard, and he's not for sale, so don't try to buy him.

J.R.: Well, I got everything I needed from your last guard, thanks. So, shall we get down to business? Have you considered my offer?

Babe: You mean your threat? Just for the record, I'm not cheating on you, and I haven't been cheating on you, and when I said that I wanted things to work with us, I meant every word.

J.R.: Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Babe: But -- I am through begging for another chance, through sucking it up when you treat me like trash. A man that can blackmail me with an unborn child and our own son is a man that I can't love. So yeah. Let's do it. Let's get that divorce.

J.R.: Get prepared. It's about to get real ugly.

Babe: Look, J.R., I know that you want to hurt me. But please don't make Little Adam suffer, too. It's going to kill him to be apart from either one of us. Why don't we just right now agree on joint custody, and we can negotiate everything after that. I'll even give you back the Chandler shares.

J.R.: Give it up, Babe. You're trapped. I don't have to negotiate a damn thing with you.

Simone: Wait, you said your name was Thaddeus the honest.

Tad: That, I lied about.

[Laughter]

Tad: So kill me. But -- but I did get you to have a better time, didn't I?

Simone: Yes, you did. And I'm sorry that I drenched you earlier.

Tad: No sweat. Anytime you ever want to waste a drink, I'm your man. Ladies, here's to letting off stress.

Simone: I'll drink to that.

J.R.: Your Honor, those shares of Chandler Enterprises were stolen from me. I was under duress when I signed them over to my wife. She threatened to have me thrown into prison for trying to kill her if I didn't. That's also how she coerced me into signing over full custody of my only son.

Babe: You gave me those shares out of guilt. You tried to kill me. Are you for real right now? You -- you tried to kill me, and you hated yourself for it.

J.R.: Oh, she's right, Your Honor. I feel incredibly guilty -- for drinking too much. That's how those building materials fell. I got drunk and I stumbled into them. It was a terrible accident, one that I will always regret. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Especially my wife.

Babe: You are such a jackass.

J.R.: And you're desperate. You think you can bribe me into sharing my son with you?

Babe: How did we even get back here, J.R.? I actually thought that we had been through the worst of the worst and nothing could ever break us up again.

J.R.: I had a momentary lapse. Forgot I was married to a whore. My bad.

Babe: You may despise me for sleeping with Josh. Hate the world for your mama, fine. But what about your father? Don't ruin his life. He doesn't deserve that.

J.R.: Oh, would you give it up, Babe? First you play the Little A card. Now it's don't hurt my dad? Give it up, lady! Give me what I want, and no one will get hurt. Not my daddy, not your mama, not our son.

Babe: I am giving you one last chance to do the right thing before you seriously end up regretting it.

Krystal: I love a good surprise. And I love a good excuse to lie down. But you throw in a Lamaze coach? And you know, suddenly, I'm not so happy.

Adam: I thought you'd -- you'd appreciate a private coach. So you don't have to lie down on those filthy public mats, surrounded in a room full of sweaty, heavy breathers.

Coach: Focus, people. Let's bring you back to your breathing, now, shall we?

Adam: Yeah, back to the breathing. Practice -- practice breathing. Come on, look at me. You stopped, all right? You stopped.

Krystal: Wait -- Adam, I just -- I don't need this, ok? All I had to do to get Babe out was sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall."

Coach: Not all deliveries are alike, Mrs. Chandler. Just as not all pregnancies are alike. Geriatric pregnancies can be especially difficult.

Krystal: Geri-what? Did you -- did you just call me old?

Coach: It's a technical term for mothers of advanced years.

Krystal: You have two minutes to get this broad out of my house.

Erica: Bianca, you've misunderstood. I completely support your -- your exploring with Zoe.

Bianca: Mom, why don't you just say what you really want? You want Zoe to turn back into Zarf, and you want him to turn me straight.

Erica: Bianca, please, I know you're a lesbian.

Josh: Good start.

Bianca: Don't worry, she'll ruin it.

Erica: I know you're gay. Ok? I accept that. But I was just thinking that there are plenty of people who happily go both ways.

Bianca: See? What did I tell you?

Erica: Look, when you go out with -- with her -- I mean, no one would know that she's a lesbian. All they're going to see is this successful musician out with a gorgeous young -- woman.

Bianca: Zoe, you look absolutely beautiful.

Erica: Well, I -- I hope you didn't go to this trouble on my behalf.

Zoe: No, no, no, actually. I'm on a mission.

Bianca: You're going out? In public? You sure you're ready?

Zoe: Ready or not, I have to do this.

Josh: Does this have something to do with Babe?

Zoe: Not to worry, Josh. It's all under control.

Bianca: Good. You got to meet her. That's the Zoe I really like.

Kendall: I don't get it, Zach. You swore up and down the casino was safe. You -- you had tons of security, hidden cameras -- everything. And now you're telling me that Spike and I aren't safe here?

Zach: Just take him to the penthouse, please.

Kendall: What -- what happened? I mean, we got Jenkins. You thought that he was the one. He was the R in your mother's love letters. You were convinced that it was him.

Zach: Yeah, I was convinced and then I talked to him. I pushed every button. I told him that I killed my mother. Nothing. No reaction. He loved my mother so much that he wants to take care of me. He wants to take care of her kid.

Kendall: Zach, he's psychotic, all right? He's playing you. He's trying to convince you that he's a good guy, when he's really a maniac.

Zach: Yeah, maybe.

Kendall: I don't care what you do. Quadruple my security. Have 100 men follow me -- it doesn't matter. But there's no way I'm letting anyone else take care of my son.

Annie: First, Erica barges in here looking for you, treats me like salmonella. Then Kendall comes over demanding that I give her Spike back, warning me to -- to stop trying to replace her in his life.

Ryan: I'm sorry about that.

Annie: No -- I mean, I'm sorry. Oh. I tried to talk Kendall out of taking Spike, but I had no right to stop her.

Ryan: Kendall was just exercising her legal right to be a horse's ass.

Annie: This is the last thing you need right now.

Ryan: Don't worry about me. I'm going to take care of Kendall.

[At Fusion, Tad gets a faxed message saying, "Man, meet me at the pump house at nightfall.]

Zach: Yeah? It's ok. Let him in.

Kendall: Let who in?

Zach: Ryan.

Kendall: What? No. No, Zach. He's going to try to take Spike. I won't let him.

Ryan: You give me back my son, Kendall, or I am taking you to court.

Erica: Ok. Well, I came here with the best of intentions, but it seems that my children make bad choices on purpose, just to drive me crazy.

Josh: Erica, have I ever forced you to be with Jeff? Interfered in your romantic life? Told you the person you love is a total zero? No, because it's none of my business, and my life isn't yours.

Erica: Well, I just want you to be happy, that's all.

Josh: Well, who cares what you just want? I'll do everything I can to make Babe mine. And if and when I do marry her, you'll suck it up and be nice to her.

Erica: I will do everything I can to stay in your life. But you do not give me orders. My children have all lost their minds.

Bianca: She's probably right.

Josh: Whatever.

Bianca: Ugh -- don't tell me you're going to go find Babe now.

Josh: Well, she and Zoe are up to something, and it can only be trouble.

Babe: Isn't there anything that I can offer to stop you from destroying so many lives?

J.R.: Um -- no.

[Knock on door]

J.R.: See who it is.

Babe: Huh. See for yourself. I'm not your secretary.

J.R.: What the –-

[While Babe snaps pictures with her camera phone, Zoe walks in and pulls J.R. into a passionate kiss.]

>> On the next "All My Children" –

Janet (to Amanda): Have you really finally come?

Jamie: Janet, we need a favor. That's why we're here.

Zoe: Did you get it?

Babe: Uh-huh. Oh, no, no.

Zoe (to J.R.): No, no, no -- I still have enough testosterone to take you.

Tad (to Ryan and Kendall): The killer wants a face-to-face with Ryan.

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