AMC Transcript Tuesday 11/28/06

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 11/28/06


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J.R.: I can't eat the turkey. I can't crack the wishbone. Although, I did a hell of a job cracking my pelvic bone. You see, the point is, Dad, if I have to collect bedsores during the holiday, I'd like to do it with some "thanks" action.

Adam: We have a lot to be thankful for, J.R. A lot -- you're alive, and you're on the mend.

J.R.: Because of Mom and Tad. But I was this close to -- to walking to the light -- until I heard Tad calling for me, telling me to come back. My mom needs me. I need her, too, Dad. It's because of Tad and my mom that I'm spending another Thanksgiving. I mean, come on, I've already lost Babe. Don't trash the rest of my family.

Jamie: You need us, you got us.

Colby: Winifred, that turkey smells delicious. What can I do to help -- check the potatoes or smash the cranberries? No -- how about I set the table?

Winifred: Uh -- well, I don't know.

Sydney: What are you up to now? You lend a helping hand, and then tell your dad my aunt's a slacker? Do you think if you get her fired, I'll go with her?

Winifred: Sydney, stop. I think Miss Colby genuinely wants to help.

Colby: You know, would it kill you to be cool to me for one day? My brother almost died.

Sydney: I know -- thanks to you and your big mouth. You just had to narc on Babe, didn't you?

Winifred: Sydney, stop now.

Colby: You know, Sydney, if you're going to take her side, you can just get the hell out of my house!

Babe: There's no way you're invited to Thanksgiving dinner. And whoever did that to you, I'm pretty sure you probably deserved it. So I really need you to turn around and go, because we don't need any more trouble here -- what are you --

David: Let me do this, Babe, please. This is the last time I'm going to see you. It's the last time I get to hold you. I've come to say good-bye.

Bianca: Just so you know, I'm very grateful that you decided to make an appearance at the Kane family follies.

Josh: Well, it's more than just an appearance. I'm just waiting for the tryptophan to kick in.

Bianca: Really? So you're not going to go looking for Babe?

Josh: Well, on the list of things she has to be thankful for, she made it very clear to me I've been crossed off.

Erica: Jack? Jack, you don't mind, do you, that I invited Jeff and our son to join us for this family gathering? I mean, I thought that since you invited Brooke, I assumed that anybody could come.

Jack: It doesn't bother me the least little bit. As a matter of fact, Erica, I half expected it from you -- Erica Kaneís idea of a big, happy family. Fun times. Ooh.

[Staring at Ryan with Emma, Kendall recalls Davidís words.]

David's voice: I will swear on my daughter's grave -- Annie McDermottís Emma is Ryanís daughter. I never said a word to Ryan. I'm going to leave that entirely up to you.

Zach: It's nice of Ryan to bring Annie and Emma.

Kendall: Yeah, it's just super.

Ryan: Where's Mommy?

Zach: I see a two-foot beauty that's checking you out. Let's go work your magic. Excuse us.

Kendall: Well, look who's here.

Annie: Kendall. Hey. I -- I hope this is cool by you.

Kendall: Oh, well, Ryan hates to see anyone spend a holiday alone.

Annie: Hmm. Well, we're celebrating. Oh, didn't he tell you? The DNA results prove who Emma really is.

Kendall: You mean you know?

Annie: Well, I've always known Emma was my daughter. I just never had proof until now. But the DNA results confirmed it -- she's mine biologically and in every other way.

Kendall: That's great, Annie. Congratulations.

Annie: Thank you. But I really owe it all to Ryan -- and Dr. Martin.

Jeff: Admit it, Erica. You only invited me here to stick it to your husband.

Erica: Would you hold it against me if that were true?

Jeff: Being with you is the highlight of my day. I wouldn't think of being anywhere else. Now, as for ticking off your husband -- the more you push him away, the closer I get to you.

Sean: Hey, Uncle Jack.

Jack: Hey.

Sean: Hey, I clocked in, shook some hands, did the whole respectable-nephew thing. You don't mind if I clock out early and go catch the end of the game?

Jack: Yeah, Sean, I do mind. We haven't even eaten yet.

Sean: Well, I'm not really hungry. There's not really anything here --

Jack: Oh, come on --

Amanda: Hey.

Sean: Hey -- if you insist, yeah.

Amanda: I -- I hope it's ok I came -- Lily invited me.

Lily: Sean told me to.

Jack: Yes, of course, it is. We're happy to have you, and I'm sure Brooke will be thrilled -- and here she comes right now.

Amanda: Oh.

Brooke: Hey, sweetie.

Amanda: Hey.

Brooke: How are you?

Amanda: Good.

Brooke: I'm so glad you changed your mind about the turkey thing.

Amanda: Yeah.

Brooke: Good, good.

Sean: Hey, Brooke gets to see you all the time, though. Me and Lily want you to hang with us today. So, won't you sit with me?

Amanda: Ok.

Erica: Happy Thanksgiving.

Ryan: Happy Thanksgiving.

Erica: Oh, it just wouldn't be a celebration without you here.

Ryan: Oh, thank you.

Erica: And you are?

Ryan: Oh, you remember Annie -- you met at my office a few months ago. You remember that?

Erica: Oh, of course. Of course, I do. And -- and you actually have a family of your own?

Annie: Yeah -- well, not as big of a family as you have, Ms. Kane.

Erica: Well --

Annie: Tell me, just how many of your husbands did you invite to this party?

[Annie chuckles]

Zach: Come here. You don't want to be at the big table, the grown-up table. You know why? The little kids' table is a lot more fun. These guys will just talk about golf and finance and all kinds of stuff. You want to go with Rachael. When you go to the kids' table, you're never going to want to leave.

Emma: What will we talk about in there?

Zach: I -- do you like hockey?

Emma: Baseball!

Zach: Base -- you can talk about baseball, or other -- I don't know what little girls talk about. You do? Kendall? What do little girls talk about?


Emma: Wee!

Annie: Great! Oh --

[Annie laughs]

Emma: Mommy, can I go to the kids' playroom, please?

Annie: Oh, ok. I'm going to come check in on you a lot.

Ryan: Ok.

Annie: All right.

Ryan: See ya. Here we go. Here we go.

Kendall: Um -- hey, I'll be right back.

Jamie: What'd I miss?

J.R.: Nothing yet. But if my dad doesn't back off --

Adam: Well, maybe you're right. Maybe you need your mother more than I've been willing to admit. If she has helped you recover -- Dixie, would you consider moving in with us while J.R. recuperates?

J.R.: I wasn't expecting that.

Jamie: Wow. When your dad sucks it up, he doesn't mess around.

Dixie: Huh -- I would love to spend more time with J.R. and Little Adam. Thank you.

J.R.: Yeah, Dad. Thank you.

Tad: Well, I think that's our cue to let the patient get some rest. I hear the cafeteria has a halfway decent turkey burger. Any takers?

Adam: Oh, what the heck -- come to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. We can toast to J.R. and make some arrangements for Dixieís stay.

Dixie: We accept.


Jamie: Actually, I'm going to pass. I want to hang out with J.R. until Stuart shows up. You know, he's going to drop by when he's done volunteering at the shelter.

Adam: Thank you, Jamie. Have a good night, son.

Tad: You're not Adam -- where's the pod? Don't keep him up too late.

Jamie: Ok, big brother, now that we're alone Ė

[J.R. falls asleep.]

Krystal: Listen, you want to blame somebody for your brother being in the hospital on Turkey Day, then blame J.R., ok? Not Babe, and not Colby -- J.R.

Colby: You know, who's ever to blame, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off on you like that. I'm just still a little aggravated. I haven't had Thanksgiving here since I was a kid, and now that J.R. canít be with us -- you know, whatever. The point is I was just trying to be nice. I'm sorry.

Krystal: Wow. In the spirit of the day, it would be nice if you accepted her apology.

Sydney: Fine. Just be careful, Krystal. I'd hate for you to be carving the turkey and end up with the knife stuck in your back.

Colby: Sydney, you know, you're not a threat to me anymore. Now I know no one cares about you. It -- it doesn't matter whether you're here or not. My father and brother are all about me now -- especially now that Babeís gone.

Krystal: Oh, no. Wait -- wait a minute, now. Babe's not going anywhere.

Colby: She's still living here?

Krystal: Yes, she is, and she's not planning on leaving. Ok? It's going to be a rough road, but she loves J.R. and Little Adam with everything inside her, and she is determined to keep this family afloat without any meddling from you, Colby. Is that clear?

Colby: But J.R. canít take that. Babe is supposed to be history.

Babe: Well, if you expect me to say "I miss you" --

David: No. No, you've made it very clear how you feel about me. I know you wish you had a different daddy, Babe. But I don't think it was an accident that I turned out to be the lucky guy. You're one amazing young woman, Babe. Anyone who says otherwise just --

Babe: No, please -- please don't. Don't try to talk me into leaving my husband again.

David: I don't have to. Because when Krystal leaves, you will follow. And I will finally be able to rest easy.

Babe: Ok, now you really are delusional, because Mamaís not going anywhere.

David: Not yet. Now, I know this doesn't mean anything to you right now. But someday when you think back on me, on our relationship -- and you will, Babe -- just know that despite appearances to the contrary, your father loved you very, very much.

Kendall: My mom's a regular welcome wagon, isn't she?

Annie: Hmm. You caught that?

Kendall: Yeah. Well, you know, at least you won't have to deal with it next year. I mean, now that your problems with Emma are solved, you won't have to be so dependent on the kindness of strangers.

Annie: Itís funny -- I don't really think of you as strangers anymore.

Kendall: No, I guess not. But Tad and Dixie, on the other hand, I -- they're a whole different story. I mean, I never got how they could have ever thought that Emma was theirs. I mean, even if she didn't have your DNA, she had to have had your ex's, right?

Annie: Well -- ahem -- Terry wasn't Emmaís biological father. We used an anonymous sperm donor.

Kendall: Uh -- from New York?

Annie: I was impregnated in New York, yeah, but the clinic we used was part of a chain, so the donor could be from anywhere. Anyway -- well, this is about as good as it's going to get.

[Annie laughs]

Annie: I'll see you out there.

Kendall: Ok.

Erica: Jack, since you're the host, you sit at the head of the table, here. And since I'm the hostess, I'll sit at the other end of the table, way over here. Uh -- Jeff, would you please sit to my left, and, Josh, would you please sit here on my right? Bianca, honey, please come sit next to Myrtle. And, Kendall, you sit right there --

Kendall: Ok.

Erica: And of course, Ryan will sit next to Kendall.

Kendall: Mother --

Zach: It's ok. It gives me a chance to canoodle with the other woman in my life. Myrtle, can I sit with you?

Myrtle: It's all my pleasure.

Zach: Nice.

[Myrtle chuckles]

Zach: Give me some loving.

Jack: Brooke, why don't you come sit right here by me? Lily, would you join us here?

Brooke: Thank you.

Lily: This is so confusing. The couples aren't even paired off or anything -- it's not even boy-girl-boy-girl.

Sean: Uh -- well, we can remedy that on part of the table. Now, look, I'll sit between you and Amanda. See -- girl-boy -- girl.

Amanda: Ahem.

Maitre d': You promised we would not have a repeat of last year's disaster. You didn't bribe me enough for a party this large.

Zach: I told you I'd take care of you, all right?

Myrtle: So you're the one responsible for this beatnik gathering?

Zach: No, I tried to talk Kendall out of it. All I wanted was a nice day with my wife, my son, and the second-most-beautiful woman in Pine Valley.

Myrtle: A flatterer.

Zach: Thank you.

Myrtle: Yeah, well, don't stop.

Zach: I wonít.

Jack: Excuse me, everybody. What do you say we all join hands and say grace?

Lily: Amanda, can I borrow your napkin?

Amanda: Oh -- here.

[Lily uses a napkin in each hand to hold on to the people on either side of her.]

Jack: Dear Lord --

Erica: Actually, Jack, since Jeff has been doing Godís work in Africa, I thought it would be so nice for him to say grace.

Myrtle: Dear Lord, thank you for bringing us all together today. Thank you for our good health, and thank you for the eats. Amen.

All: Amen.

Krystal: Honey, what's the matter? Did anything happen with J.R.?

Babe: David was here.

Krystal: Ugh. He wasn't looking for me?

Babe: No, but he did say something about you leaving this place soon, that I'd be coming with you. What is he talking about? I --

[Krystal sighs]

Babe: He doesn't know about the baby being Tadís?

Krystal: Actually, he did take a stab at that one, but -- I mean, who's going to actually take his word for anything now, huh? I just don't want him stirring up any trouble.

Babe: I don't think you need to do anything. He came here to say good-bye. He's leaving Pine Valley --

[Krystal chuckles]

Babe: Forever. I'm serious.

Krystal: I'll believe that when I see it.

Babe: No, really, Mama, he meant it -- the way -- the way that he hugged me, and the things that he said.

Krystal: Well, I guess if that's true, then we have a little bit more to be thankful about today, don't we?

Babe: Hmm.

Krystal: Hmm.

Krystal: Tad. What are you doing here?

Tad: Well, I'm here because of Dixie.

Krystal: What'd she tell you?

Adam: Well, sweetheart, I hope you don't mind. Um -- J.R. hated seeing us at each other's throats, so I invited them for Thanksgiving dinner.

Krystal: "Them"?

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Dixie: Oh. Happy Thanksgiving, Krystal.

Adam: Well, I can tell by the look on your face, you weren't expecting this.

Krystal: Oh -- huh. Yeah, well, you did catch me off-guard, that's for sure.

Adam: And another thing you should know -- I've invited Dixie to come live with us for a while -- until J.R. recovers. He needs both of his parents right now. I'm sure you can understand that, sweetheart.

Krystal: I'll -- I'll get Winnie to set some more places.

Adam: Well, after you.

Colby: Daddy?

Adam: Yes?

Colby: Krystal said that Babeís staying here and that you're not kicking her out. She's wrong, right? You're not going to let her --

Adam: Sweetheart, yes.

Colby: Go on living in this house?

Adam: For a while, yes. Yes, for a while.

[Colby sighs]

Adam: She'll be staying here, that's true. Babe will be living with us.

Colby: Dad -- ugh!

J.R.: So, are you making good on your threat? You rooting for Josh now?


Ryan: Somebody? Vince? What is it?

Kendall: No, come on.


Ryan: Think it over. I'm sorry. Oh, that's it.

Josh: It seems pretty tame so far.

Ryan: Uh-huh.

Bianca: What are you trying to do, jinx it?

Jack: Hey, waiter? Waiter?

All: Ooh.

Ryan: Here we go.

Erica: Oh -- oh, excuse me, would you bring the turkey over here, please? My ex-husband is a surgeon, and so there's no better carver at the table.

Josh: I take it back.

Bianca: Oh, yeah -- too late now, jinx.

Annie: Well, Emma keeps asking when her next sleepover with Spike is going to be.

Ryan: Does she really?

Annie: Yes.

Ryan: It's crazy how well they get along, isn't it?

Annie: Best friends, no doubt about it.

Ryan: Yep. Absolutely.

Kendall: Well, hopefully Emma will be able to adjust once you two move and start your new life. I mean, Spike won't be around as much.

Ryan: Oh, not true. Actually, I invited Annie and Emma to stay in the penthouse indefinitely, so they're going to be seeing tons of Spike.

Kendall: Oh.

Amanda: Annie, can you pass the rolls, please?

Ryan: Oh -- do you want to --

Kendall: Um -- you know, Ryan, I would rethink that if I were you. Zach and I are getting our own house now, so we're moving out of the condo, which means you probably would want the penthouse back for yourself.

Ryan: Come with me. Come on.

Erica: Brooke, I would pass you the gravy, but you don't want the gravy, do you? You don't want any extra calories?

Brooke: Oh, thanks, but you know a girl can only stomach so much garbage.

Bianca: Um -- I have never been to Africa, and I'm very curious about it. Why don't you tell us all -- all about your travels there?

Jeff: Well, it's a -- it's a beautiful, amazing place. You see things you never thought you would've.

Jack: It sounds a lot like Pine Valley.

Erica: What things, Jeff?

Jeff: Well, if you ever see a lion make a kill, shortly thereafter the hyenas, jackals, and vultures -- they descend on the carcass, and then minutes later there's nothing left. It's --

Jack: So I ask again, how is that different from Pine Valley? I mean, we have our own predators and scavengers here, don't we? As a matter of fact, I know of a father-son duo who prey on married women.

Zach: Stuffing?

Myrtle: Uh --

Josh: If that crack was supposed to be about me and my father, we can take this outside right now.

Babe: So J.R. is ok?

Tad: Um -- he's tired for the most part.

Dixie: But he's in good spirits.

Krystal: Oh. That's -- that's good news.

Babe: I'm glad.

Colby: I found this out front.

Adam: Toss it over there.

Colby: Well, it says "Urgent -- Open Immediately."

Adam: Oh, I see. Hold on.

Jack: Come on, Josh. Why so appalled? Is there anything I'm saying that's untrue? I mean, didn't you just make a very public push to obliterate Babe Chandlerís marriage?

Erica: My son tried to save that deluded woman from a husband who would kill her, and he could've been killed himself.

Bianca: Mom, not -- not now.

Jeff: Just let it go, Josh.

Josh: No, no, no way. Listen, you can say all you want about me, but leave my dad out of this. He didn't do a damn thing.

Jack: So what are you telling me, Josh? That I'm just imagining your father making moves on my wife?

Erica: Jeff, don't even try to dignify that with a response.

Jeff: Jack, why wouldn't I go after Erica when she's obviously so unhappy with you?

Sean: All right, you know what? My Uncle Jack does not deserve to lose everybody --

Jack: No, Sean, it's ok.

Sean: No, no, no, no, no. Listen, what do you expect? Huh? For him to spend every waking minute worshiping her? To hell with that. You don't deserve this, Uncle Jack. You are a jackass! Yo, I have news for you -- she'll leave you, too.

Jack: Sean -- thank you, Jeff, so much for your timely confirmation.

Jeff: Hey, hey, hey, don't bring me into this. You threw the first stone.

Brooke: Glad to hand it to you, Erica -- you certainly know how to sap the fun out of any event.

Erica: You're here, Brooke -- fun never had a chance.

Amanda: Are you ok?

Lily: Yeah, this is my third Thanksgiving, I came prepared.

[Lily inserts plugs in her ears.]

Zach: I'll race you to the bar.

Myrtle: And miss the show? Have the drinks delivered right here.

Bianca: Powder room, now.

Ryan: Why are you so hell-bent on running Annie and Emma out of town?

Kendall: Who's hell-bent? I just -- I just don't understand why you're the one who has to sacrifice everything for them.

Ryan: We've become friends.

Kendall: Just friends? Nothing more?

Ryan: Why do you care?

Bianca: Mom, I am begging you. Go back out there, apologize, just work it out. I -- I can't bear to see another couple split up.

Erica: Honey, if it were that easy --

Bianca: But I don't understand why it's not. I mean, I don't -- I don't really understand what happened. And -- and don't give me that line about needing space, because Uncle Jack has never tied you down. So tell me the truth. Why is it so hard for you to go home?

Jamie: There's no way I could root for Josh. The guy's a jerk.

J.R.: I got to say that I'm relieved. I couldn't stand you siding with that dirtball for -- for anything.

Jamie: Well, you and Josh need to stay away from Babe. I mean, look at you. What the hell were you thinking?

J.R.: I wasnít.

Jamie: So you just blindly broke through a window four stories up?

J.R.: I couldn't stand being in that room anymore -- Josh's room. I mean, the thoughts -- thoughts that were going through my head -- I just -- I swear, I thought it was a door. I forgot how high up I was.

[J.R. groans]

J.R.: I just had to get out. I had to get out of there, Jamie.

Adam: If that was so bloody urgent, why was it left on the front step? Why didn't the messenger ring the doorbell?

[Colby sighs as she paces in the hall. When her phone chimes, and she receives a text message from Sean (desperate here 2, boathouse in 15) Colby takes off.]

Babe: It's a holiday. Nothing could be that urgent. Why don't we just eat?

Adam: I know. I'm curious.

Babe: Please, I'm starving.

Krystal: Who's it from?

Adam: There's no return address. Um -- could it be a sequel to last year's entertainment -- "Diís pole-dancing classics"?

Tad: Why don't you put it in, see who sent it?

Adam: Aha.

Babe: Maybe this is the real reason that David stopped by.

David: Hello, everyone. I'm not sure who's watching this right now, but this is Dr. David Hayward bidding you all a fond farewell. It's been a real slice, but now it's time to leave. Tad, if you're there watching this --

Krystal: You know, I'm not going to let David ruin our holidays. Come on, now. Dinner -- dinner's ready.

David: I'm already well on my way to parts unknown.

Adam: What happened to his face?

Tad: Me.

Adam: Good.

Tad: You know, Krystal, if it's all the same to you, I'd kind of like to watch the rest of this video.

Krystal: Why, Tad? Come on, it's probably just more lies. Hasn't he hurt you and Dixie enough?

Babe: I agree with Mama. I mean, I hate what he's put you through, and why even let him get a last parting shot? He's gone. Let's just forget about him, and I'll -- you know, I'm going to take this as my inheritance, and I'll dump it in the trash where it belongs.

Tad: No, I disagree. I mean it's perfectly obvious he's speaking to all of us, so I think the rest of us have a right to hear what he has to say. And if you don't want to hear it -- and maybe it is a bunch of lies -- it's probably chockfull of them -- but who cares? If he really is gone, his lies can't hurt us anymore, so I'd like to hear the rest of what he has to say.

David: Hello, my precious angel. I've done everything I set out to do. They're all going to pay for what they did to you. Took some time, but it was very much worth it. You didn't have to die, Leora. You should be with me right here, right now. But don't you worry. Your dad made sure that justice was done. They're all getting exactly what they deserve. It's my gift, from me to you. The way they all went on about baby Kate -- huh. At least their child is probably still alive. Nobody gives a damn about you except me -- and I'm sure your mother.

[David sighs]

David: I did try to save you, Leora. I swear I did. I also tried to save my other daughter, your sister, Babe, but she's written me off. Well, I'm sure someday she'll be sorry about that, too. What else can I do, huh? I'm leaving now. The only reason I stayed this long was to make things right for you. Oh, wow. Huh. No one in this town knows anything about love, what it truly means. But you do, darling. And I don't want you ever to forget that your father loves you very, very much, and he always will. This is not me saying good-bye, my sweet angel. I will take you everywhere I go. Oh.

Jamie: J.R., I refuse to be the guy explaining to Little Adam 10 years from now why his dad died young, so get it together. You're messing up more lives than just your own.

J.R.: You think I don't know that? Look, I don't want to touch another drink as long as I live.

Jamie: Don't just talk about it, do it.

J.R.: Look, what kind of painkillers do they got me on? What is it?

Jamie: High-powered morphine derivative.

J.R.: Is that addictive?

Jamie: Can be. The doctors will wean you off when it's time.

J.R.: Cut me off, James. Now.

Sean: Crappy Thanksgiving.

Colby: Huh. You got that right.

Sean: What happened at your place?

Colby: Um -- basically, I tried to be nice and not stir things up for a change. I hate it there.

Sean: Come on, break it down for me.

Colby: Sean, be real, ok? What's your take when a girl cheats on you?

Sean: Well, it depends on who you hooked up with.

Colby: No, not me.

Sean: I know -- that was a joke. We're not together.

Colby: Funny. No, listen -- ok, you're really into a girl. Like, you pathetically are in love with her, and she hit it with another guy. Would you take her back?

Sean: Truthfully? I have no idea what it's like to care about somebody that much.

Colby: Seriously?

Sean: Yeah. Not only don't I know how love works, I never want to find out.

Kendall: If you and Annie are a couple -- great. Fine, have at it. It's none of my business.

Ryan: We're not. We're friends. But may I ask, if you don't care, then why are you asking?

Kendall: For Spike.

Ryan: Oh, Kendall. Spike will always come first with me. I mean, I plan my life around that kid. When you were touching up your lipstick earlier with Annie, I was eating strained yams with him, telling him turkey jokes, loving every second of it. He's my only child, Kendall. He's my life. No kid can compete with that.

Kendall: Good. Well, let's keep it that way.

Jeff: You didn't have to do that -- defend me. I can handle Jack.

Josh: Yeah, well, he was getting on my nerves.

Jeff: You know that's the first time you referred to me as "Dad"?

Josh: Yeah, well, do you think it was a smart idea to let everyone know how you feel about Erica? I know you two were married once, but do you know what you're doing?

Jeff: Did you know with Babe?

Bianca: No me fighting tonight, please? Let's just -- let's just get through this meal. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me -- and Kendall and Miranda, and Josh, and Lily. Let's just eat our pumpkin pie, say our good nights, and I guarantee that Brooke will be going home tonight. Tomorrow you can iron out everything with Uncle Jack in private.

Erica: I said I'd stay for dinner.

Bianca: Ok.

Erica: Ok.

Kendall: Ok, what did I miss?

Bianca: You don't want to know.

Lily: You were right, Dad. You and Erica don't belong together.

Colby: Who doesn't want to fall in love someday?

Sean: Me. And you wouldn't think it was weird if you lived my life. Look, Erica is this close to bailing on a really good guy. You know, I've seen it before -- people getting dissed, people left with nothing but their heart slammed in the door. My perfect "happily ever after" would be spending every day for the rest of my life fishing with my dad. Falling in love has zero appeal to me.

Colby: So this is all because you lost your dad?

Sean: It's not about what I lost, it's about what I did. See, my -- my dad wanted one thing more than anything in life, and because of me, he didn't get it. I gypped my dad out of the one woman he ever really loved.

Erica: I'd love to hear your reasoning, Jack. Why don't we belong together?

Jack: Clearly, we have a great deal to discuss, but not here, not now.

Bianca: Mom, let's just sit down. Let's just finish dinner.

Kendall: Yeah, yeah, Mom, she's -- she's right. You can do this later.

Ryan: Too many gatecrashers here?

Jack: Oh, you want to talk about gatecrashers?

Erica: Jeff is the father of my son. Therefore, Jeff is family. You know, I might've expected this kind of behavior from Zach, but he's been on surprisingly good behavior today. Yes, you could actually learn something from him.

Jack: Zach Slater is all of a sudden a role model?

Erica: It's possible.

[Jack chuckles]

Erica: Just as it's possible that you're right, Jack. Maybe we don't belong together. Maybe we should get a divorce.

Jamie: For the last time, forget it. I am not cutting you off your meds. You broke some ribs and your pelvis. I mean, you think you're hurting now? J.R., you can die from that kind of pain.

J.R.: But I'll never know until -- until I'm off of it. Look, all my life, every time things got ugly, I tried to numb the pain with drugs --

[J.R. groans]

J.R.: And scotch. Look, if I can learn to handle the pain without using anything, I can get through anything in life. Just cut the damn drugs, James.

Adam: I think Tad has a good point. Hayward sent this message to all of us. And frankly, I am a little curious. And the sooner we watch this, the sooner we can start eating.

David: Babe, you know I want you out of that house. I have tried a million different ways to make that happen. The time has finally come. You may not like it, but you're going to have to leave J.R. and get out of there. Because when Krystal leaves, you will follow, Babe. Are you there, Dixie? You know what I'm talking about, don't you? You have the ammunition to get the ball rolling. But in case you don't have the guts to use it, allow me.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Annie (to Ryan): You're asking me out?

Kendall (to Josh): Love it or hate it, it's official --

Bianca (to Josh): You're one of us.

Kendall (to Bianca and Josh): Mm-hmm.

Babe (to Adam, Tad, and Dixie): David Hayward is evil, and that means that I am evil, too, and you should hate me! You hate me -- stop pretending that you like me!

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