AMC Transcript Monday 11/6/06

All My Children Transcript Monday 11/6/06


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Kendall: I love this house, Zach. Come on, just give it a chance. You've been living in hotel rooms and condos way too long.

Zach: It's not going to work.

Kendall: Ok, so it didn't scream "Buy me" right away. Go upstairs, look -- look at the -- there's a cool media room --

Zach: Kendall --

Kendall: There's a beautiful bedroom --

Zach: Kendall -- I said, "We couldn't live here." What I meant was that I -- I can't live here. And I -- I can't be here. I -- I got to go.

Kendall: Wait, Zach -- Zach, wait! Zach?

Julia: Hey, Tad! Hi. How are you?

Tad: Hey. Oh, I've been better, I've been worse. What are you doing here? You look great.

Julia: I'm meeting friends. You?

Tad: Oh, I thought I'd raise a glass to Annie McDermott. God bless her, she agreed to the DNA test that we just finished with Emma, so --

Julia: Oh. That's so great. When are you going to find out?

Tad: Not soon enough. In any case, here's to Kate. She may be closer than we thought.

Julia: Well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and Dixie both.

Tad: It's still a long shot, but at least we'll know for sure.

Julia: What are the odds? You search the whole world over for your daughter, and she might be right here in Pine Valley.

Krystal: It's adorable.

Adam: Yeah.

Krystal: How did you get this for our little girl so fast?

Adam: Oh, I got it a couple of weeks ago.

Krystal: All this pink? That's a risky bet.

Adam: Oh, I knew it was going to be a daughter, even before the test results came. How can my beautiful wife not have a beautiful, healthy daughter?

Krystal: Hmm.

[Adam laughs]

Adam: Colby! Come on in. Come on in, help us celebrate. The baby's healthy, it's a girl, and we named her.

Colby: A girl? Hmm -- "Baby doll number two" is a good name. I'll go wring out my shirt with tears of joy.

Krystal: Oh, come on, Colby, you'll ruin your mascara.

Colby: Yeah, I just remembered I have a Geometry test to study --

Adam: Oh, come on. Come on, that can wait. Right-angle triangles aren't going anywhere.

Krystal: Colby, look at this cute little blanket that Adam got for Little Charlotte.

Colby: "Charlotte"?

Adam: Charlotte, as in the -- in your dearly departed Aunt Lottie.

Colby: Why wasn't I named after dear Aunt Lottie? You know -- no. Forget it. No time. Can't keep up the Chandler name if I flunk my Math. Unless someone lifted my books along with all the other missing things around here.

Krystal: Go ahead and study, Colby.

Colby: Thanks. I live for your permission.

[Krystal sighs]

Krystal: What are we going to do about that girl?

Adam: Colby will get used to having a sister. Meanwhile, I have plans of my own.

Krystal: Oh. You're going to get randy with me, huh?

[Adam laughs]

Adam: Well -- later. I have a meeting with Barry. I'm going to adjust my will. I'm going to create a trust to ensure Charlotte's future -- and somebody else. Oh -- her mother.

Krystal: You cancel that meeting, Adam. You are not dying on me.

Adam: Just in case something happens to me, I want to be --

Krystal: Don't even -- honey, I can't even think about raising our little girl without her daddy by my side.

Tad: You look great.

Julia: Thanks.

Tad: Oh, just in time. Have a seat. What would you like to drink?

Jamie: A beer, thanks. You planning on joining us?

Julia: Oh, no, no. Uh-uh. Girls' night out.

Jamie: Well, no worries. I was just asking.

Tad: No, no, listen. Hey, you know, when the world was still cooling, I used to love girls' night out.

Julia: Oh. Well, cool. You're in luck, T-rex.

Tad: No, I don't think so. I've already spent girls' night out with a couple of your friends -- not at the same time.

Simone: Tad, I love you! Julia, here.

Tad: See what I mean?

Julia: Well, excuse me. Estrogen calls.

Erin: Uh -- so, do come-ons have an expiration date?

Josh: A use-by or a sell-by date?

Erin: Ah, let me see, let me see, let me see. I tried to sell you one way too long ago.

Josh: Hasn't been that long. It's only been -- two months?

Erin: Yeah --

Josh: Hasn't gone bad yet.

Erin: No, I don't know. It might've been pretty stale to begin with.

Josh: I had a different brand loyalty.

Erin: You only had eyes for Babe.

Babe: I'm -- I'm so sorry. J.R., please, it only happened once with Josh, and it's over. I never even planned it. I just -- my God, what was I thinking? How could I be so blind? I just -- I -- I was feeling locked out, and I couldn't -- I couldn't get into your head and -- and into your heart, and I just -- something snapped, and I made -- I made a horrible mistake, a one-time, horrible mistake. I have hurt you so much, and I have kept -- when you look me in the eyes, I just -- I couldn't -- "No more lies, no more secrets --" that's what you said, right, because I believe that we can still --

J.R.: Stop. Just stop it, Babe. I've jerked you around a lot in the past. And you know what they say -- "Karma's a bitch." You're paying me back.

Babe: What? No. No, J.R., this has nothing to do with payback.

J.R.: No, Josh lied to me about having sex with you, and now you're standing by it. It's -- it's a trust thing. It's -- it's a "How much do you trust me?" So how am I doing here? Pass or fail?

Babe: I'm the one who's failed. I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Josh: You know, for some strange reason, it took me a while to process your mojo.

Erin: What? My mojo? Well, you know, I think that "strange reason" might be named Babe, and I think if you can't admit that, then there's a party with my name on it --


Erin: Right over there.

Simone: He used to blow in my ear like an air hose.

Di: No, he did not!

Simone: You know he did --

Di: He did not!

Danielle: He actually thought "Oh, I got to get me a piece of that" would work. Being underage in a bar sucks.

Di: Look at Erin -- looks like she's busy.

Danielle: Too busy working it, more like it.


Josh: I confess.

Erin: Mm-hmm. So I -- you think I got mojo?


Tad: You're killing me. Would you just go over there?

Jamie: I'm hanging out with you. We're toasting to maybe finding my little sister.

Tad: No, we're not. I'm toasting, you're sulking.

Jamie: It's girls' night. I wasn't invited.

Tad: And you call yourself a Martin?

Krystal: My baby girl's daddy is healthy and sound, ok? I don't need anything else.

Adam: Yeah. Ok, well, you say that now. What about when she's older? What about college?

Krystal: Well, you and I will be sitting in the front row for her graduation. Don't you even think about bailing on Charlotte or her mother.

Adam: Well, that's hardly my intention.

Krystal: Well, don't go making any just-in-case plans for an early departure, either.

Adam: Ok, ok. I swear to live to be 110, as long as you keep me fit with our strenuous, nightly -- um -- exertions.

Krystal: How in the world did I ever fall for you, you silver fox, you?

Adam: Yeah. Must've been my charm.

Krystal: You are so good to me. And you're going to be such a wonderful daddy. Little Charlotte is going to grow up to love you just as much as her mommy does. You know I loved raising my first little girl -- even with no money and no home and no man.

Adam: Hmm.

Krystal: But I am ten times as happy now. And not because of what you -- you give me, but because of the way you love me, the respect that you give me and the laughter that you fill me with. So if I have your heart, Adam Chandler, that's enough. And you'll have mine forever and ever. You know I never got married before, but I never -- I never felt this way before. And I would be just as happy if you were a truck driver or a cowpoke or a gas station attendant, because I don't care what you do or what you have.

Adam: You know, I would be less happy driving a big rig, or poking a cow. By the way, when you poke a cow, where do you poke it? But I digress. No, what makes -- what makes me happy is providing for the people I love, to give you and Charlotte everything you could ever need.

Krystal: Don't go messing with the finances, Adam. They are just fine and dandy the way you are. And maybe I'm a little bit superstitious, but don't tempt fate.

J.R.: Your mother knew. Colby overheard you tell her that you slept with Josh. Colby tried to warn me, but I chose not to believe a word that she said. I believed you.

Babe: Please, J.R. Mama -- she --

J.R.: Krystal, Colby, Josh, David, you. How many other people were in on this little secret, Babe?

Babe: No, J.R., it's not --

J.R.: Tell me, Babe!

Babe: It's not like that!

J.R.: It's not like what? It's not like -- like tossing your vows out with the trash? It's not like lying to -- to cover your ass? It's not like making me look like a fool? I mean, my God, Babe, my kid sister knew!

Colby: Hello? You know, what do we pay people around here for? I'm trying to study. It's hard to do geometric proofs when the kid's screaming bloody murder. Who do you have to kill for a babysitter, huh? You did the deed, you deal with the consequences.

Babe: Give him to me.

J.R.: I'll take him.

[Babe sighs as J.R. takes Little Adam from Colby.]

Josh: Babe is in love with her husband. Why? I have no idea. If you ask her, she'll say he's completely reformed. Sobriety has turned J.R. from deadly jerk to the patron saint of husbands. Of course, he did try to kill her -- that was before he sprouted wings. So, now it's my time to move on to happier times -- at least, less complicated.

Erin: Well, I think simple, happy -- complicated -- not so much.

Josh: Hmm. So you got it out of me. My complete confession -- does that buy me another drink with a sexy redhead?

[Erin giggles]

Erin: I have a confession of my own.

Josh: Shoot.

Erin: When I -- I approached you last summer --

Josh: Mm-hmm.

Erin: My motives were not completely pure.

Josh: Well, I hope not. Where's the fun in that?

[Erin laughs]

Erin: No, I mean, I -- I didn't -- I didn't --

Josh: Didn't what? Find me devastatingly attractive?

Erin: No -- I mean, yes, I do -- I did, I still do. Uh -- I was also doing someone a favor. I was keeping you away from Babe.

Josh: For J.R.?

Erin: Yes.

Josh: Another J.R. fan -- how the hell does he do it? I should be drinking cosmos with the ladies after all.

Erin: No, it's -- there's more.

Josh: What, more true confessions? I don't think I can handle any more.

Erin: No -- last summer I wasn't real big on the L word. But sex? I was looking for something a little more recreational.

Josh: I don't do any other kind. So, what is your current status on insignificant physical contact?

Erin: It's at an all-time high.

Zach: Ok, let's get a drink.

Kendall: Zach, it's a little loud in here, there's so many people. Why don't we go somewhere quiet, then maybe you can tell me why you flipped out back there?

Zach: I didn't flip out. I lost it a little bit, and I -- I think -- uh -- quiet is the last thing I need right now. It would put me over the top.

[Music plays]

Zach: You know, the house was screaming "Buy me" to you. Well, it was screaming "Get out" to me. So I wanted to come here with some people, some music, drinks -- anything.

Kendall: Zach, have you been at this house before? I don't -- why are we even talking about this here?

Zach: I tell you what -- why don't we grab our drinks, we'll mix it with some privacy, and I'll -- I'll try to explain it to you, ok?

Kendall: Ok. Deal.

Zach: All right.

Kendall: Let's go.

Erin: No, no --

Danielle: Nice job, lady.

Erin: Yeah, sorry for bailing on you guys.

Julia: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Di: Take one for the team.

Simone: Oh, you are wearing good underwear, aren't you?

Erin: Shut up.


Erin: Simone, please. Shut up. Hi. I would invite you back to my place, but it's kind of a dorm.

Josh: I know the perfect place. Come on.

Tad: You know, somewhere between all the daggers you're shooting at Josh and the sick-little-puppy thing you're doing with Julia, I missed a couple of chapters. You want to fill me in?

Singer: Anxious that's all

Jamie: I just -- excuse me for one second.

Tad: See if they got any nuts.

Del: So, Julia, what can I get you today?

Julia: Well, I'm not drinking, I'm on duty. So how about a sparkling water with lemon?

Jamie: Josh just left with Erin. It's no big deal?

Julia: Why should I care?

Jamie: So you and Josh -- that was just casual? No more serious than we ever were?

Julia: Where is this coming from, "me and Josh"?

Jamie: Well, I saw you two kissing on the beach. You know, a few weeks ago?

Julia: Oh. Oh, that was that night you were there with Linda -- the "don't get me wet or I might melt" blonde.

Jamie: Yeah, same day.

Julia: Well, I don't know why it would matter to you what I do or with whom. You're the big player.

Jamie: Right. Today, Pine Valley, tomorrow, who knows? I just kind of take it moment to moment.

Julia: So do I.

Tad: Well done.

Jamie: Shut up.

J.R.: Nightmares, huh? It's ok, Daddyís here. I won't let anything hurt you. Those monsters? Yeah. We all have scary dreams. But I won't let anyone hurt you.

Babe: Thank you, Colby, for bringing Little A down here, but I think we can handle it from here.

J.R.: I've got it covered.

Colby: Uh-uh. I'm not going anywhere until I know who dropped the bomb in here. Time to call for a body bag?

Josh: That's the good thing about the fall -- clear skies, real crisp.

Erin: Look at all those stars. Huh. I mean, you can see why people wish on them.

Josh: And why wishes don't come true.

Erin: Yeah, you know, all those stars -- those beautiful, beautiful stars are just really balls of burning gas. They can't hear wishes.

Josh: Well, even if they could, they wouldn't care.

Josh: You must be freezing.

Erin: I'm not cold at all.

[Erin and Josh engage in some passionate kissing.]

Josh: You know, you deserve a hell of a lot more than this. I have nothing to offer you.

Erin: I'm not stupid. I know who you are. I know that you aren't going to make any of my wishes come true -- not any more than, you know, the stars are. But you're a lot closer, and you're a lot easier to touch, and I want to be touched tonight.

Josh: So do I.

Colby: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Do you finally know who your wife is?

J.R.: Will you get out of here, Colby? Now.

Colby: Hmm. It's rough being right.

J.R.: I told Little Adam that nightmares go away when you wake up.

Babe: I wish it were all that easy.

J.R.: I told him that his mommy loves him. And I told him that his daddy loves him. And that's all he needs to be safe.

Adam: All right. Now, when do we start Lamaze classes? I take my role as coach very seriously.

Krystal: Oh. Well, you just knock yourself out, then.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Krystal: But there really are only two things to remember. Number 1, stay by my head.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Krystal: And number 2 -- and you repeat this -- "My wife needs the epidural now."

Colby: Whoo! One down, one to go!

Adam: Did we miss something?

Colby: Well, it's only fair to warn one happy couple that the other happy couple is about to bite the dust.

J.R.: Give your mommy a kiss good night, buddy.

Babe: Good night, peanut.

Winifred: Let's tuck you back in, ok? Oh, such a -- ok.

Babe: I love you, J.R. I never stopped loving you. You and Little A are permanently in my heart. I meant every word that I said at our wedding.

Babe's voice: I used to think that love, the -- the kind that I feel for you, had to be exclusive, that I could never share the man that I love with someone else -- well, except for our son. Huh.

Babe: We've been to hell and back together.

Babe's voice: First, you take care of the alcohol issue. Get yourself checked into a substance abuse program.

J.R.ís voice: What if I say no?

Babe: I go to the police. And you're on your own. I know that I've hurt you, deeply, terribly. You've hurt me, too, but we've always come back.

Babe's voice: This isn't a game, your honor. My husband is innocent. J.R. did not try to kill me. I made the whole thing up.

Babe: You pushed me away. You kept me out. You -- you made it hard for me to love you, but I did. I still do, and I always will.

Babe's voice: But right now we need to talk. We need to talk, yell, cry -- whatever it is.

Babe: Because I am right here. Don't shut me out. When Colby was missing, you were hurting, and you were -- you were scared and you wouldn't let me help you. I felt lonely and -- and lost. I felt like you didn't need me. God, J.R., I'm so sorry. Tell me what I can do.

J.R.ís voice: I don't need any babysitting. Dad's got Krystal. Why don't you go home? I'll call you if anything changes.

Babe: I slipped. I screwed up in the worst way. When you asked me straight out, I couldn't lie anymore. No more lies, no more secrets. I'm there, J.R. Can you forgive me? You tried to kill me. I forgave you -- or, at least I thought I did. Maybe I didn't all the way. Maybe this Josh thing is a hangover.

J.R.: We were in a new place. Things were different.

Babe: And I wanted them to be different, so badly. I did, but I don't know. Maybe I wasn't ready to move forward, that part of me wasn't, and I just -- I acted out. I don't know, but I do know that I love you. I love you with everything that is in me, and I want to still be your wife. I -- you are my best friend, my -- my husband, my life partner. Please, J.R., please, don't just stare. Please say something, anything to me. Scream at me -- anything. Just tell me what you're thinking.

J.R.: Josh told me that you said you love him. Is that true?

[While kissing Erin, Josh flashes back to being with Babe.]

Erin: Did I do something wrong? What --

Josh: I'm sorry, I can't do this.

Erin: You know, it's -- it's no big shock, really. I -- they run from me -- in droves, actually. So I must be some kind of troll or heinous.

Josh: No, look, you're a beautiful, amazing, sexy woman. I'm just -- I -- I'm stuck in one place. I can't move forward, I can't move back.

Erin: Back to Babe.

Babe: I love you. That's why I chose you over Josh.

J.R.: You didn't -- you didn't answer my question. Did you tell Josh that you love him or not?

Babe: No more lies, no more secrets. I didn't love Josh like I love you.

Babe's voice: I love you, J.R.

Babe: I love you.

Babe's voice: J.R., I love you.

Babeís voice: I love you, and I want to be happy with you and our children for the rest of our lives.

Babe: No, J.R., please don't go.

Colby: J.R. and Babe are on tilt. It's going down.

Krystal: Are you trying to pull something?

Adam: Colby, listen to me. I love you dearly. No one -- not Krystal, not Babe, or this new little baby sister. No one is going to replace you in this family.

Colby: Ok, Dad, whatever. You guys are about to see some ugly business.

Adam: You got to stop trying to wreak havoc. Everything will be fine.

Colby: Dad, I'm not making this up! I'm serious. Someone is going to get killed in there.

Babe: J.R., please -- please don't go. Please, I am so sorry! Please, I love you, J.R. --

Adam: There is no need for such dramatics.

Colby: Dad, things are not fine.

Babe: J.R., no. Please, please? J.R., don't go! Please, sweetheart, I promise you, no more lies. I am so sorry -- J.R. knows.

Adam: J.R., wait!

Babe: Please, please, you have to stop him.

[Car starts]

Babe: Don't let him do anything crazy.

[Tires screech as J.R.ís car speeds away from the mansion.]

[Erin sighs]

Josh: I didn't mean to lead you on or anything stupid like that.

Erin: You know, I thought men were supposed to get over relationships by throwing themselves into random, meaningless sex.

Josh: Yeah, well, it always worked for me before.

Erin: Oh. It's a shame.

Josh: Maybe you're not random enough.

Erin: Hmm. Or maybe you're not who you used to be.

Colby: Hey -- no -- hey, open up! I'm supposed to be part of the family!

Babe: Josh Maddenís room -- room, please.

Krystal: What in blazes are you doing?

Babe: I'm warning Josh, Mom.

Krystal: No. Honey, how did this happen? Did Josh tell J.R.?

Babe: Josh told J.R. about us, and he didn't believe him. He thought that he was full of it. It was me. I told him, Mama. I -- I couldn't lie anymore. I told him about Josh --

Krystal: You what?

Babe: He looked me in the eye, he asked me for the direct truth, and I couldn't lie to him, like you couldn't lie to Adam.

Krystal: Oh -- oh, Babe.

Babe: If J.R. goes after Josh and Josh fights back, they could get hurt, or worse, or -- I don't know. And if anything happens, it's my fault. Everything that happens --

Krystal: No.

Babe: It's my fault. Anything J.R. does tonight --

Krystal: Don't you say -- don't you say that, Babe.

Babe: Mama, it's the truth, and I'm not just going to stand here and do nothing!

Krystal: No, no -- Babe -- Babe, don't --

Colby: Hey -- no, no, let J.R. go!

Krystal: Honey, you could make it worse!

Zach: That place you took me to tonight wasn't just a house.

Kendall: It could be a home, Zach.

Zach: No, it couldn't be a home. It -- it was the spitting image of the house that I grew up in. Everything about it -- the entranceway and the -- the paint and the balcony -- it was just like the balcony I would sit and -- and wait for my dad to come home, and I dreaded it.

Kendall: Of course, ok. Well, no wonder you hated it. Of course, you hated it. I -- I'm sorry. I -- I thought maybe you had a little commitment phobia.

Zach: No, no, not at all. You -- you and Spike, you're my future.

Kendall: Just not in that house.

Zach: No. My dad took everything away from me. Everything, everyone I ever loved, he would take away from me. Now whenever I -- I feel like I'm losing someone that I care about, I'd see his face.

Kendall: I had no idea.

Zach: Yeah. So if you want a house, any house you want. Just not that one, ok? I'll build you one if you like, just not one with memories.

Kendall: Ok. As long as we can create new memories of our own.

Jamie: Dad, Julia doesn't give a crap about me.

Tad: I wonder if I can get a group rate on DNA tests. Because I swear, there are times that you are not my son. You can't read women.

Jamie: She made it pretty clear.

Tad: You know what your problem is? You're way too much like your mother -- you believe everything people tell you. There are times when the last thing a woman is going to want you to know is what she's thinking. It's a brilliant strategy.

Jamie: For what?

Tad: Keep you confused. Keep you off your game. And it works -- you're confused.

Jamie: Maybe.

Tad: Point made, point taken. Got any more money? I want some beer.

[Babe walks into ConFusion looking for Josh and/or J.R.]

Adam: Josh? Open this door. J.R.? Anyone in here?

[After Adam leaves Joshís Valley Inn room, J.R. walks out of the bathroom and spots the same shirt he saw on Fusionís terrace the night he found his wife in the kiddie pool.]

J.R.ís voice: Babe? Why are you naked?

[J.R. then helps himself to the little bottles of liquor in the minibar, one after another.]

Kendall: Let me see.

Zach: I'm not finished yet.

Kendall: Come on.

Zach: I'm drawing a present for my wife, ok?

Kendall: A present? All right. Well, I do like presents.

Zach: I know you do.

Kendall: Hmm.

Zach: Uh --

Kendall: What --

Zach: Hmm.

Kendall: Are you kidding me? This is gorgeous. What --

Zach: This is what I thought. Like, this would be the main living area in here, right?

Kendall: Uh-huh.

Zach: And then you say you want an office- for what, I don't know -- but I would put it up here.

Kendall: Thank you.

Zach: And then -- excuse me one second -- kitchen.

Kendall: Mm-hmm.

Zach: And here's where the cook would live, right? And then -- um -- the bay window lets in a little light for a nursery.

Kendall: Oh, but -- well, Spike will be way past a nursery when this is done.

Zach: Yeah, I know -- that's Spike's room over here.

Kendall: You mean for our baby?

Zach: Just a thought.

Kendall: It's a beautiful thought. Is that something that you would really want?

Zach: It terrifies me, you know, in an odd way, a compelling way, long -- long-term kind of way, but -- but yeah. If we're ready, I would -- I would like that.

Kendall: I think, in time, I think we will be.

Zach: To our future.

Kendall: To our family.

Danielle: So what had happened was --

Erin: Did what?


Simone: You know, and that's not -- Babe! Oh, my God, honey -- oh, my -- you need a drink. Come join us.

Babe: Please, I can't right now.

Simone: Oh, come on.

Danielle: You're not still working, are you?

Babe: Um -- no. I --

Erin: Uh -- there may be somebody waiting up on the roof for you. Then again, there may not be.

[While drowning his sorrows in alcohol, J.R. imagines Babe laughing as she frolics in bed with Josh.]

Babe: I love you, Josh.

[After squeezing his eyes closed, J.R. turns around and sees the bed empty.]

Babe: Thank God you're ok.

Josh: Well, why wouldn't I be?

Babe: You son of a bitch!

[Babe hauls off and slaps Josh on the face as he stands on Fusionís terrace.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Josh (to Babe): J.R. finally did buy it. You're scared out of your mind. This is where all of that ends and you and me start -- for real.

Bianca (to J.R.): I'm not afraid of you. I'll scream. They'll throw you in jail.

J.R. (to Bianca): What if it's too late?

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