AMC Transcript Friday 11/3/06

All My Children Transcript Friday 11/3/06


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Babe: Josh really said that? Did he really?

J.R.: Well, according to Josh, you two were having an affair.

Babe: Did you believe him?

Ryan: How lucky are you, little Spike-man? You get to be in a sleep-over with Emma, lucky guy.

Annie: Sweetie, you want to go read that story to Spike? Yeah.

Ryan: Right there. Yeah, come on over and read the story. Ok, Spike. You stay there. This is a good story. Youíre going to really like this one, I think. All right, you sit right there, and you can read to Spike, and you can just tell him the story. Is it Ė I think itís the book of the Blue Angels, is that right? Whatís that story? No, whatís this one about? This oneís about a princess. You read him the princess story. Iíll be right back. Ok? Hey, you donít have to worry, ok? Because this is going to be a good thing.

Annie: Why canít they just, you know, run the swab through some machine and give you the results while you wait?

Ryan: Well, I think a DNA test is a little bit more complicated than blood typing, that's all.

Annie: She's my baby. Why can't I prove it? Why doesn't our DNA match?

Ryan: The answer's out there, and I'm going to find it. I promise you that.

[Knock on door]

Erica: Oh, good. Jeff can help me decide. Oh, just in time --

Jack: Well, I sure am glad to hear that.

J.R.: Would you like some water or anything?

Babe: You must've had some reaction when Josh said that we slept together.

J.R.: You seem pretty upset by it.

Babe: Aren't you?

Josh: An endless evening of forced small talk with people I don't care about and don't want to know.

Bianca: You're a fun date.

Josh: What am I doing here?

Bianca: You're pleasing our mother.

Josh: Another piece of window dressing -- "the son I only recently discovered."

Bianca: It's not bamboo shoots under your fingernails.

Josh: It's close enough.

Bianca: Come on, please? Just don't make me go stag-ette. Make an appearance -- for me.

Kendall: And me.

Josh: Nobody told me he was going to be here.

Zach: Were they supposed to?

Josh: You think I'm going to party with the man who got away with killing Greg Madden?

J.R.: Josh has been after you for a long time now. I've gotten pretty used to that. But when he made that announcement to me -- something else.

Babe: I'm so sorry. I hate this so much.

J.R.: Well, it must hurt you. I mean, you tried to help Josh. I mean, you've -- you've done everything you could for him, and he -- he runs to me and stabs you in the back.

Babe: You -- you didn't believe him? You didn't even consider it? Not -- not for a minute?

J.R.: As much as Colby and David. Look, we've talked about this, Babe. I believe you and only you. You wasted your loyalty on Josh. I mean, do you get it now? Do you see who this guy is?

Josh: He tortured another human being. "Welcome back to the family"?

Kendall: Zach was acquitted.

Josh: But he wasn't innocent, were you? Your fingerprint was found inside the coffin. I'll never forget that, and you shouldn't, either. Getting around the law doesn't mean a damn thing. You're guilty. You are subhuman.

Bianca: Josh, take it easy.

Kendall: Ok, and -- and Greg Maddenís suddenly a prince? Never mind that his baby switch is still ruining lives, and Emma McDermott might actually be Kate Martin.

Emma: Can we stay in the tent all night?

Annie: All night? Uh -- well, until you fall asleep, maybe.

Ryan: Yeah. Come on in here, little man. Ok, into the tent, you sweet, sweet boy.

Annie: Sleep tight. Don't let the Heffalumps bite.

Ryan: Oh. Do Heffalumps bite while you're sleeping?

Annie: No.

Emma: No.

Ryan: No, I didn't think so. Let me -- all tucked in. Ok, have fun.

Annie: Oh.

Ryan: Ok, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes.

Annie: Close. Hey, thanks for not -- for not pushing the DNA test.

Ryan: Oh, that was your decision to make. And you were kind of under enough pressure already.

Annie: Yeah. Look at them -- so innocent. If only they could stay this way.

Ryan: Hmm. Oh -- and safe, too. Safe. Of course, Spike had a 103 fever, and I wasn't there.

Annie: Yeah, that was my fault, though. But if you want to beat yourself up, I'll -- I'll get you a frying pan. Spike's lucky. You're the kind of dad a kid should have.

Ryan: Hmm. Shh. They're asleep.

Annie: Oh, oh, oh.

Ryan: Yeah. Honestly, if I could be half the parent that you are, I'd be very happy.

Jack: Here you go.

Erica: Oh.

Jack: Let's see. Perfect. Boy, can I pick 'em, or can I pick 'em, huh?

Erica: Oh, it's gorgeous!

Jack: Actually, I was talking about you. Come here.

Erica: Oh. How did this happen?

Jack: Well, I couldn't very well let my best girl fly solo through her big night, so I rearranged Lilyís appointment in New York and got Sean to stay home to look after her.

Sean: Hey. Cheese? Crackers --

Lily: You don't have to baby-sit me.

Sean: I don't baby-sit.

Lily: I'm not hungry. I'm sorry you have to stay here with me.

Sean: This is for Uncle Jack and Erica, though.

Lily: Because they want you to watch over me.

Sean: Uh -- actually, it's probably more like Uncle Jack wants you to watch me. Whatever. It's worth it to save the marriage.

Lily: My father's marriage?

Sean: Have you seen Erica around here lately?

Lily: No, she's staying at the Valley Inn. It's just business.

Sean: Uh -- she's staying because living here would drive her up the wall.

Lily: Which wall?

Sean: Uh -- she -- she couldn't take it, so she left.

Lily: But her absence is only temporary.

Sean: I wouldn't hold your breath -- figuratively or literally.

Lily: Well, I won't live in this house forever. I'll go away to MIT and then Erica can be alone with my father, and I won't get in their way anymore.

Sean: Hey, hey, hey, no, no. You're not the reason Erica left.

Lily: But I'm not like Kendall and Bianca. Kendall's fun to be with, and now that Biancaís back in town, I'm just in the way.

Sean: Whoa, no, no, no. Look, I'm the reason Erica left. Ok?

Erica: Darling, are you sure that Sean is up to this job?

Jack: Yeah, I'm sure. I told him how important it was to me. And believe me, it wouldn't kill that kid to stay home for one night. And besides, what kind of husband would let his beloved wife go to one of the biggest nights of her career all alone?

Erica: You know what? Actually -- uh -- that brings me to my Plan B. I had actually arranged --

[Knock on door]

Jack: I got this. Hold that thought.

Erica: Mm-hmm. Plan B.

Jack: Well, Jeff, my wife has decided to go back to Plan A -- her husband. You don't mind giving me my wife back, do you?

Josh: Well, it's too bad Gregís not around to sort out who's who, but you have your husband to thank for that.

Bianca: Josh, can we talk about this another time?

Josh: What, and act like nothing happened? We're one big, happy family?

Kendall: Yeah, it might take some effort, but yes.

Josh: But Erica can't be onboard with this. You enjoy ticking her off, or are you so delusional you think you can change him?

Kendall: Zach doesn't need changing.

Josh: Oh, you're into torture?

Kendall: Zach is a perfect, kind, and loving man.

Bianca: You guys, there's -- there's press here.

Josh: His crimes don't matter to you? Or he's just so good in bed, you don't give a damn?

Zach: Hey, Joshua? That's it. Back off. Your mom doesn't need bloodshed at her party.

Josh: Not unless the cameras are rolling.

Kendall: Ok, Zach is not leaving. If you can't handle it, then go.

Josh: And leave my brand-new family unprotected with a killer?

Bianca: Here, why -- why don't we -- uh -- check out who's in the other room?

Josh: You know, you Kane women think you're so strong? You're suckers.

Zach: Do you want me to throw him out?

Kendall: No, no, Bianca and I have it covered.

Josh: Or maybe you can't admit when you're wrong. Your sister takes him back. God knows who or what this Maggie is doing, but if she walked in the door right now, you'd be on your knees thanking her.

Kendall: You and Maggie are having problems?

Bianca: That -- that's not the point.

Josh: You know, everyone thinks I'm dirt?

Zach: That's a popular theory, yes.

Josh: Hell of a lot better than these suckers you keep around.

Kendall: We keep around, or Babe keeps around? This is about -- this is about J.R. and Babe. You have the nerve to sit here and criticize my taste in men when your taste in women sucks.

Babe: It never should've come to this.

J.R.: How could Josh resist?

Babe: It was a cruel thing to do.

J.R.: He wants you any way he can get you.

Babe: He understands that my future is with you and Little A. What was he thinking?

J.R.: Well, he thought that I'd believe him, and I'd trash our relationship.

Babe: Well, he can't possibly think that I'll ever forgive him for this.

J.R.: Or maybe he doesn't care. Yeah, you didn't choose him, so the hell with you.

Babe: No, he understood how I felt about you and our marriage.

J.R.: Yeah, well, Babe, talk is cheap.

Babe: He -- he respected how I felt, he knew that I couldn't be with him, he knew that it was over.

J.R.: That what was over?

Babe: What was over? The -- Josh's crazy idea that he wanted me to leave you. Every time the -- when he had said that he wanted me to leave you, I was very clear with him -- that you were wonderful, and you'd been very strong, and I love you very much.

J.R.: And that he decided to say something that I wouldn't like to hear.

Babe: So did this just come out of the blue?

J.R.: I told Josh that he was lucky he didn't hook up with you.

Babe: "Lucky"? I don't understand.

J.R.: Because if he had, I'd have to smack him down permanently.

Babe: So you rubbed his face in it?

J.R.: No, I simply pointed out to him that I could've gone another direction --

Babe: And you threatened him?

J.R.: I wanted to make it clear where we stood.

Babe: What, that you're the big winner, and he was --

J.R.: A gigantic loser, that's right.

Babe: You shouldn't have goaded him.

J.R.: Look, Josh -- Josh has been trying to screw over my marriage. I can't draw the line? If this were last year, I would've put him in a wheelchair with his jaw wired shut. But I didn't, because I trust you, and I believe you. And I felt that you handled him hitting on you the right way.

Babe: You made him want to hit back.

J.R.: So he claimed you, and he went at it. Well, now he's unemployed. Let him go somewhere else, let him cause trouble there.

Babe: Yeah, but who knows what Josh will do? All bets are off now. He -- he didn't keep his word.

J.R.: His word about what?

Babe: Mama. Hey, what is it?

Krystal: Ah. Well, we're just about as perfect as a test can guarantee.

Adam: You're about to have a completely healthy little sister.

Babe: Aw.

Krystal: And Adam is so proud, because he called it right --

Adam: Well --

Krystal: Another little girl.

J.R.: Well, congratulations. That's wonderful. Well, here's to one big, happy family.

Josh: Don't you drag Babe into this.

Kendall: You are so transparent. Babe prefers J.R., and you can't stand it.

Josh: It's you, it's Bianca. You -- you think your choice isn't self-destructive?

Bianca: You guys, can we -- can we just stop?

Kendall: Ok, Zach clearly isn't J.R. So why don't you just let it go?

Josh: Right, J.R. is only a wannabe killer, but close enough.

Kendall: Ok, do you remember? You poisoned our mother. She could have died. Now, what is the difference between those crimes? How about Greg Madden was a madman?

Josh: Oh, so he deserved it?

Kendall: No --

Josh: He was right to kill him?

Bianca: Hurting another human being is never all right.

Zach: No, sometimes it's necessary.

Kendall: Zach is a good and strong and loving man. Now, if you want to badmouth him, fine, but don't do it around me. I will not put up with it. You said if you had to choose between me and Babe, you'd choose Babe? Well, if I had to choose between you and Zach, I'm sorry, brother. It's Zach all the way.

Ryan: You know, it's kind of funny. For a second there, I thought Emma had that story memorized the way she was reading it to Spike.

Annie: Oh, I read it to her every night, and that story is never the same twice.

Ryan: Really? Why? You get bored?

Annie: Oh, you really are new at this. Because you need to -- you need to tailor their favorites to get them to sleep. You know, so you cut out certain sections or your use, like, a hypnotic voice to get them to bed faster?

Ryan: Very tricky.

Annie: Hmm. Mm-hmm. That is just a taste of the parents' survival guide. Kids are bundles of pure energy. We need every defense we can get.

Ryan: And I guess just, you know, cheating is fine? It's ok?

Annie: Oh, oh! You know what? Wait until Spike's favorite bedtime story is 90 pages long. You will be wishing that it was back in the day when you were reading thin books about pigs and pancakes.

Ryan: Yeah, what if he wants the classics?

Annie: Well, then you learn the endings, and you give him the trailer version. The trailer -- like, you know, when you go to the movies and the previews? You stick to the highlights, and then when you notice Spike starting to nod off, you flip to the last page.

Ryan: Oh, nice.

Annie: I know. It works -- till they catch on.

Ryan: See, this is the kind of training that I need.

Annie: Well, I am here all night.

Ryan: Yeah? Well, anything you have to give, I want.

Sean: Look, when I -- when I busted in here, I brought my mother with me -- and my dad. Ok, I'm -- I'm a walking mess of memories Erica wants to forget. You understand?

Lily: I think so.

Sean: Ok, it's just been a lot for Erica to take, so she needs some space -- away from me, not you.

Lily: Ok, well, for how long, and how much space does she need?

Sean: I can't answer that.

Lily: Well, do you think she misses us?

Sean: I can't answer that, either. I'm not inside her head -- big relief.

Lily: "Inside of her head"?

Sean: I -- I don't know what Ericaís thinking.

Lily: Well, I know my dad misses her.

Sean: Ahem.

Lily: But if she doesn't miss him to the same degree, then she might never return, and the relationship will be over. You have to be very much alike to be in a successful relationship. When Jonathan and I weren't alike anymore, it was over.

Sean: That guy's no loss.

Lily: You didn't like him?

Sean: He's a freak. He busted one while I hit on Amanda.

Lily: What did he bust? And did he hurt you, because you were hitting Amanda, because you shouldn't hit her.

Sean: Oh, we so have a communications gap. No, I was -- I was being nice to Amanda. I -- I wanted to be nicer to Amanda -- a lot nicer. But all I did was put my arm around her, and he flipped out.

[Doorbell rings]

Sean: Hold that thought.

[Sean opens the door and lets Amanda in.]

Sean: Ah, perfect. Come on. Look, all I did was go like this.

Erica: Won't this be fun?

Josh: You Kane women can't hold on to your partners, because your choices are idiotic.

Jeff: Would you keep it down, Josh?

Jack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Or at least take it outside, huh?

Josh: Yeah, bring it. Who wants to be first?

Jack: What's going on here?

Zach: I came for a party.

Josh: Yeah -- to celebrate getting away with murder.

Erica: Can we put that behind us for tonight?

Bianca: Yeah, can we, please?

Kendall: Josh can't, obviously, not for one night.

Jeff: Just take it easy, all right?

Josh: He tortured and killed a man.

Bianca: Kendall is not defending that.

Kendall: Don't talk for me. Our brother could use a lesson in family and loyalty.

Zach: And a lesson in learning how to shut up.

Josh: Ok, that's it -- you're first.

Jack: Just -- just --

Jeff: Can't we just agree to separate?

Erica: No, please, if you can't behave, just go home!

Kendall: Got that?

Zach: You want to settle it, let's settle it.

Jack: Not now!

Jeff: It won't settle it. What happened, happened.

Kendall: But why does no one care that Zach was acquitted?

Erica: Please, not now. Not here!

Bianca: Right. Josh, let's get out of here. Let's go any other place --

Erica: Please, this cannot continue.

Donny: Erica?

Erica: Hi.

Donny: No one said I needed body armor for this gig. Osmond family reunions are nothing like this.

J.R.: Well, Babe and I have a happy announcement, too.

Adam: You're pregnant?

Babe: No, that's not it.

Krystal: Oh.

J.R.: Josh Maddenís out of our lives. I fired him.

Krystal: Oh, thank God. That is fantastic news.

Adam: You never should've hired him.

J.R.: You had a problem with Josh, too? What did he do to you?

Krystal: Well -- we all did -- with him messing with your happiness. Babe's on your side, I'm on your side. No one needs that kind of poison floating around.

Adam: Yeah, it's time for you to get some sleep, my darling.

Krystal: Yeah.

Adam: Yeah. Good night, all.

Krystal: Good night. Sweet dreams.

Babe: They are so happy.

J.R.: What's Josh's number?

Babe: Why? He's out of our lives.

J.R.: But wouldn't you feel better if you put an exclamation mark on it? Look, after all you did for him, he treated you like dirt. Get him on the phone, call him off once and for all.

Josh: See you later.

Erica: Oh, Donny? This is my marvelous son. This is Josh Madden.

Donny: Josh, nice to meet you.

Josh: Nice to meet you, too.

Erica: And this is -- this is Jeff Martin.

Donny: Jeff.

Jeff: Hi.

Donny: Martin -- wasn't he a husband?

Erica: This is my current husband. This is -- this is Jack Montgomery.

Donny: Oh -- sorry, Jack.

Jack: No, no, no, Donny. Pleasure to meet you.

Donny: Nice to meet you, too.

Erica: And these are my two beautiful daughters. This is Kendall and Bianca.

Kendall: Hi, nice to meet you.

Donny: Bianca, nice to meet you.

Bianca: Hi, nice to meet you. I can't wait to see you on Momís show.

Donny: Well, thank you very much.

Kendall: Yeah, maybe you and Marie can give my brother a little advice on how to get along with your siblings.

Donny: Ooh. So you're the little bit country, and he's a little bit rock 'n' roll? I get it.

Josh: More like Kendallís a little bit crazy.

Erica: Uh -- they just love to kid around all the time.

Donny: How many shows can you do about this family? I mean, I'm talking series or a reality show or something.

Erica: How sweet.

Donny: You guys sing?

Erica: Oh -- well, before we roll in the piano, would you like to go and -- and join your guests?

Donny: Absolutely.

Erica: Yes, ready to mingle?

Donny: Absolutely.

Zach: I'm going to have a cocktail.

Kendall: Yeah, I'm going to join him. Ok.

Jack: All right, well, your party awaits. Shall we?

Donny: Sure. Have you ever thought about conquering Broadway next, Erica?

Ryan: We'll never finish.

Annie: Why did you take your hand off?

Ryan: It was the only move I could make.

Annie: Watch and learn.

Ryan: Ooh -- what --

[Annie laughs]

Ryan: No -- there's no -- there's no spaces. You can't -- that's -- that's --

Annie: Cheating? No. Wrong. When the sun is down, and it is time for bed, that is a legal move -- for them or for you. It is not whether you win or lose. The object is to end the game while you still have your sanity.

Ryan: You're good at this.

Annie: I know. Why aren't you and Kendall figuring out these tricks together? Or isn't there a "together" anymore?

Kendall: Buy you a drink? I owe you one for restraining yourself.

Zach: I wanted to pound him through the floor.

Kendall: But you didnít.

Zach: No. And what you said to Josh -- the man you think I am -- did you mean that?

Lily: Sean likes you.

Amanda: You think so?

Lily: Yes. He's very odd, but I'm learning to read his actions in his face.

Sean: She's right. This is my "I like you" face.

Lily: But Jonathan doesn't like that. Do you?

Amanda: Just between you and me, Lily, I think Sean likes Sean best.

Sean: Well, I'm pretty amazing.

Lily: No, I mean, do you and Jonathan feel the same way about Sean liking you?

Amanda: Look, Lily, Sean was just fooling around -- that's what upset Jonathan. But we're all ok, it's no big deal.

Lily: It might be a bigger deal than you think.

Sean: Yeah, what's up with this guy? I mean, I made a simple pass at you, and he flips out. It's pretty sad. Are you his?

Amanda: Sean means --

Lily: I know. Are you?

Amanda: Jonathan and I going out is not an option.

Lily: Why? You don't want him?

Amanda: Thanks a lot.

Sean: We're both waiting for an answer.

Amanda: It's not what I want that matters right now. Jonathan still wants you, Lily. Why don't you just give him another chance?

Lily: It can't work anymore.

Amanda: He's never stopped loving you.

Lily: You and Jonathan are alike. Maybe you belong together.

Amanda: Jonathan doesn't agree.

Lily: Well, I'm not like that anymore, I'm different. I can't be with Jonathan.

Amanda: But you were before.

Lily: Alikes match, they fit. And I can't even work at the front room at ConFusion, because the music is so loud.

Amanda: Lily, different is not bad.

Lily: But you can. The music doesn't bother you. It doesn't pulse in your head and in your chest. I hate touching. And I don't want to have sex with him, and I might never be able to, and I can't even touch him, but you can! You can do anything!

Sean: Lily, your hand Ė

[Lily is so agitated that she cuts her hand while slicing cheese.]

Lily: No. Red. Red.

Sean: We have to stop the bleeding.

Lily: No, no touching! No touching!

Amanda: Sean -- Sean, don't --

Sean: If I apply pressure, it'll stop the bleeding.

Amanda: Ok, Lily, look, I'm not going to touch you. We won't touch you, I swear.

Lily: Red, red, red.

Amanda: If you take the napkins and press them on the cut --

Lily: Red, red, red --

Amanda: It will stop, and you won't have to see red anymore.

Sean: Do you want to drive to the ER? That cut needs stitches.

Lily: No, no stitches! I won't go!

Sean: Lily, look, you have to.

Lily: No, no, no!

Amanda: Lily, listen, the doctors can understand and decide what you need without touching, ok?

Lily: No, no, no!

Amanda: They understand your disorder, Lily.

Sean: Lily, come on -- look, I'm begging you. I'm begging you, ok?

Lily: No, no, no.

Sean: If I don't get you to the hospital, Uncle Jack could deport me or -- or lock me up forever.

Lily: It's red, red -- no.

Amanda: Lily, youíre going to be all right. You're going to be ok.

[Music plays]

Kendall: Don't you believe me when I tell you that I love you and think you're wonderful? And that you're the perfect stepfather for Spike? Because I do.

Zach: That's good to hear.

Kendall: I mean, I defended you on reflex, but I meant every word I said. And how can I expect Josh to get past it if I can't?

Zach: The past is the past?

Kendall: Yes, and the future is whatever we want it to be, starting now -- starting with our new home. I knew the second I walked in there, there was no way I was going to let Babe and J.R. get that house. I knew it was ours. It was like the second I walked in, I knew exactly where we were going to put the Christmas tree. And I imagined you and Spike and decorating it with the tinsel, and you lifting him up like the manly man you are and helping him put the angel on top, making S'mores by the fireplace. Then I pictured -- I pictured you guys in the pond, swimming -- you were teaching him to swim. And then, of course, when it got colder and it froze over, you were teaching him to play hockey. I don't know. It's as if we've already had a history there, and continuing it was the right and natural thing to do.

Singer: Don't bother waiting

Kendall: I don't know. I felt like suddenly all of my dreams were right in front of me.

Singer: Some things will never change

Kendall: We can still live them.

Singer: What you do

Kendall: Hmm -- let's ditch this party. Let's go home right now and -- and see our new place.

Singer: Other things you really understand sometimes you gotta

[Kendall giggles]

Singer: Find a way

Annie: Never mind about Kendall. I didn't mean to pry.

Ryan: Oh, you're not -- you're not prying. I mean, I thought maybe Kendall and I might get back together, but I was wrong.

Annie: And you're ok with that?

Ryan: I have Spike. Couldn't ask for anything more.

Annie: Well, you could, but --

Ryan: But I don't need anything else.

Annie: You're sure about that?

Ryan: Ahem. Kendall and I, we've tried, you know, before, and -- uh -- it just didn't really work out.

Annie: It wasn't meant to be?

Ryan: No. No, it wasn't, not in the long haul. Honestly, this time around when things got a little heated up, I guess I got a little carried away, and -- uh -- you just can't ask someone to sign on your fantasy.

Annie: Sometimes I think it can work.

Ryan: Not with Kendall.


[Music plays]

Erica: I am so thrilled to share this very important, very exciting evening with all of you. And I promise you that during this sweeps period, "New Beginnings" is going to be even more inspiring and more fun --


Erica: And give even more hope to our audience than ever before.

Donny: Yes, and I can vouch for that, too.


Erica: Yes. Because my good friend Donny Osmond has agreed to be the lead guest on our brand-new show --

Donny: That's right.

Erica: And he's going to take us through all of his highs and lows during his new beginning on Broadway --

Donny: That's right.

Erica: In "Beauty and the Beast."

Donny: Yes, I will. And with a beauty like Erica on "New Beginnings," I guess that makes me the beast, huh?


Erica: No way are you the beast, Donny Osmond --

Donny: Thanks.

Erica: And I'm sure that's why they cast you as Gaston.

Donny: [As Gaston] Yeah, baby.


Donny: That's me.

Erica: Well, I just hope that all of you will have a wonderful, wonderful evening. Enjoy the rest of your evening, and thank you so much for being here tonight, and don't forget to tune in "New Beginnings."

Donny: [Normal voice] Yeah!


[Music plays]

Donny: You are such a pro. It's amazing.

Erica: Well, thank you. No, you are very savvy yourself, Mr. Osmond.

Donny: I appreciate that. By the way, Erica, I'm going to have to leave if I'm going to get home before dawn, so --

Erica: Of course, you do. I thank you for being here, and you know what? If this is any indication, they are going to love us together on camera.

Donny: Really?

Erica: Absolutely.

Donny: I think so, too.

Erica: Why don't you bring the rest of your family next time.

Donny: Well, I don't know if you have enough room.

[Erica laughs]

Donny: By the way, where -- where did all of your husbands go?

Erica: Well -- uh -- Jeff --

Donny: Yeah.

Erica: My ex-husband, is with our son --

Donny: Oh.

Erica: And Jackson had to take a phone call.

Donny: Oh. That's impressive juggling.

[Donny chuckles]

Erica: "Juggling"? Oh, you mean my ex-husband and my husband?

Donny: Yes.

Erica: No -- I mean, this is no slight of hand. I am happily married, and Jack and Jeff both know where they stand.

Donny: Good.

Jeff: Well, Erica pulls it off again.

Josh: So Dadís aiming for an encore with Mom?

Jeff: Where did that come from?

Josh: Every time you look at her. I remember you said it was cool to make a play for a married woman if her marriage was unhappy. You want me to follow in your footsteps.

Jeff: I haven't done anything like that.

Josh: Yeah. Then run while you can. You survived and escaped Erica once. Be happy.

Jeff: Do me a favor -- let Erica enjoy tonight. I don't need any more trouble from you.

Josh: But this is my greatest talent -- causing trouble, and busting up lives. Just ask --

Jeff: Who? Babe?

Josh: Haven't you heard? I told J.R. about me and Babe. I thought I could protect her.

Jeff: What? How did he take it? How did -- how did Babe take it?

Josh: J.R. doesnít believe me, so my plan's a wash.

Jeff: Oh, dear God --

Josh: I was hoping they'd be history. It doesn't matter if she'd hate me, just as long as she'd be away from him -- and she'd be safe. Now, as soon as he tells her what I told him, I'm going to get the anger, and she's not going to get her freedom.

Jeff: I'm sorry, Josh.

Josh: You know, I never cared how much people liked me or approved of me. All I can do now is imagine -- imagine Babe sitting there looking at me with the anger and the disappointment on her face -- it's like a knife in my gut.

Babe: I don't want to go there.

J.R.: Josh keeps dragging you back. You're angry at him.

Babe: Of course, I am.

J.R.: So put the anger where it belongs -- on him. You don't like what he did, do you?

Babe: Uh -- no.

J.R.: And you never want to see him again. You don't, do you? He's out of our lives, right?

Babe: When are you going to let this go?

J.R.: I want you to let it go.

Babe: I have.

J.R.: Then why not tell Josh that it's dead in the water? After everything he's done, what he told me -- why don't you want to get him on the phone and tell him to go to hell?

Babe: Are you testing me?

J.R.: Should I?

Kendall: See? Look. Look at this! Look at the dock, it's amazing. You and Spike, you guys will fish there -- of course, you'll teach him to dive. This is perfect. This whole entire place is so amazingly us -- every room in the house, every inch of the grounds. See? Now you know why I had to have it.

Zach: We can't live here, Kendall.

Annie: Now, see, bedtime is always your biggest challenge. I don't care if it has been the most perfect day you guys have ever shared together. The pivotal moment is when you try to get your child to bed, and he or she refuses.

Ryan: I mean, Spike's not going to refuse, because I'm just going to -- I'll just explain it to him. I'll say "the sooner you get to bed, the sooner you get to wake up and start the day -- you know, more fun stuff."

Annie: Ok -- um -- you be you, and I'll be Spike.

Ryan: Oh.

Annie: Come on, come on, big talker. Get me into bed.

Ryan: Ok, Spike, it's time for bed. We got to go to bed, because we have a really big day tomorrow.

Annie: "Uh -- why? What are we going to do?"

Ryan: All sorts of fun stuff.

Annie: "Are we going to be in an airplane, because I want to be in an airplane."

Ryan: Well, I don't know. Tomorrow when we wake up, we'll see.

Annie: "Well, I want to be in a plane because the clouds are like cotton, and I want to be in the plane, and I want to hit them and knock them out of the way."

Ryan: No, it doesn't really work exactly --

Annie: "Why? Why doesn't it work like that? Why -- why does it not? I don't understand."

Ryan: Well, you know -- tomorrow, you know, we'll see. I'll explain it all to you tomorrow after we sleep. Right now it's time to get to sleep, all right?

Annie: "Well, I can't go to sleep. There's a monster in my room."

Ryan: Oh, no, no, no, there's no monster --

Annie: "Yes, there is a monster in my room, and he's green, and he's big, and he's loud, and he's going to grab me --"

Ryan: No, the only monster that is going to grab you is going to be me. All right, man, you'll go to bed whether you like it or you don't.

Annie: "All right, all right, all right, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender."

Ryan: Really? Did I win? Oh.

Annie: You win. And it's late, and I am tired, so -- good night.

Ryan: Yeah, good night.

Erica: Jack, what is it?

Jack: Sean had to take Lily to the emergency room.

Erica: Oh, my God!

Jack: No, it's -- she's all right.

Erica: Well, we have to go.

Jack: No, sweetheart, you stay right here, ok? She got a cut, maybe needed a few stitches, but that's it, ok?

Erica: Well, then she's going to need us.

Jack: I'll take care of this. Really, you're needed here, ok?

Erica: Ok. All right. Tell -- tell Lily, though, that I love her.

Jack: I will. I love you. See you in a bit. Excuse me.

Jeff: Well. Looks like I'm your number one escort after all.

Josh: "Dear Diary"?

Erin: Huh. Yeah, not hardly.

Josh: Remember when you hit on me after Babe told you to go for it?

Erin: Yeah, I do. Do you have to remind me?

Josh: Want to try it again?

Babe: I thought that we were way past tests.

J.R.: How did this become about you trusting me? Look, I stood by you. My sister accused, and I wrote it off. Your father played the same card, and I knew better. And now Josh is screaming "affair"? But I know you, Babe. Yeah, I know the woman that I love, the woman I trust. "No more secrets, no more lies" -- you swore that to me, so I don't have anything to worry about. If there was any kind of trouble, you'd tell me. We got that kind of bond that guarantees a good marriage -- complete faith in each other.

Babe: I better go check on Little A. If I don't tuck him in --

J.R.: No, no, no, you know what? No more sweet dreams. You can go up there in a minute. You know, I still haven't asked you flat out about this affair. Maybe that was a mistake. Should I ask? Did you sleep with Josh, Babe?

Babe: Yes. Yes, I did.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Zach (to Kendall): I said, "We couldn't live here." What I meant was that I can't live here.

Erin (to Josh): I want to be touched tonight.

Josh (to Erin): So do I.

J.R. (to Babe): Josh told me you said you love him -- is that true?

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