All My Children Transcript Wednesday 10/25/06
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
Amanda: I cut back on the maraschinos, but I doubled up on the jalapeŮo-stuffed green olives. Salsatinis are selling like crazy.
Jonathan: Hmm. Well, everyone likes the hot --
Amanda: Hot --
Jonathan: Hot and --
Amanda: Are you with me?
Jonathan: Yes, with you, 100%. Olives, cherries -- whatever. No, I'm not. I can't concentrate at all when you're wearing this -- this clingy little sweater thing.
[Standing in front of his desk, Amanda slowly removes her little sweater and flings it aside.]
Jonathan: Now you're just torturing me.
Sean: School is school -- boring classes, boring teachers, too much homework, and too many tests.
Bianca: What about friends? Do you have any of those?
Sean: Total lock on prom king. Well, better hit it. Don't want to be late.
Bianca: Well, too nosy?
Jack: No, Seanís not exactly a big one for sharing.
Bianca: Well, what about you?
Jack: Me? I have to go make some pancakes, because Lily had a very early therapy session this morning, didn't she; and she didn't have a chance to eat, and I have to get her some pancakes.
Bianca: Uncle Jack, really. I mean it. Mom is camped out in that hotel room preparing for her big sweeps party, and how does it feel being back in your bachelor mode?
Jack: Honestly, Bianca? I hate it.
Erica: I -- I hate it. No, no, no. No. Absolutely not.
Woman: We have options.
Erica: Well, I don't want options. I told you what I want, and it's not here. I mean, where am I? Where is "New Beginnings"? These -- these are ideas for generic people. Do I look generic to you?
Woman: Of course not, Ms. Kane.
Erica: Well, then I just don't understand how you could bring this to -- Josh, Josh, please come here. I know you're the one who can help me.
[Sitting alone in the study, Babe dreamily recalls working close to Josh at Fusion, while J.R. walks by.]
Babe: J.R., hey. I didn't hear you.
J.R.: Wherever you just were, can you take me? Or better yet, let me take you?
David: Krystal. To what do I owe this pleasure?
Krystal: If you're planning on blasting my family to Hades, I'm here to stop you.
David: Where did that come from?
Krystal: Last night, I had a horrible dream -- starring you.
David: You're afraid of me. Well, better to be feared than dismissed. Tell me about it.
Krystal: Yeah. Is this where you laugh your head off and make fun of me? Toss off jokes about the bogeyman and crashing planes and falling into infinity?
David: No. You're terrified -- I can see it in your eyes. There's nothing funny about terror.
Krystal: In my dream, I heard this horrible hissing sound right in my ear, like a -- like a snake coiled and ready to strike. I woke up in my dream, and I looked outside, and you were standing there, in the dark and in the shadows. You were holding this blowtorch. And then you saw me in the window, and you looked straight in my eyes, and you started moving toward the house, and I -- and I yelled at you to go away as loud as I could. But you just gave a smile, and you kept coming and coming and coming. You were going to burn me and my family to kingdom come.
David: Do you have any idea what it means?
Krystal: Oh, yeah. And I couldn't stop you in my dream, but I will now. What kind of hell are you planning to raise?
David: People create all kinds of hell, Krystal -- custom-made, one-of-a-kind. Well, maybe you' created your own hell by deciding to raise a Chandler heir. Or maybe your piece of hell comes from the fact that you let Babe choose to be with homicidal J.R. instead of a man who truly loves her.
Josh: When Erica says "flowers," she doesn't mean carnations and roses. Think rare, exotic, sensuous. Go with orange and yellow lilies.
Erica: Oh, I love lilies and orchids.
Josh: Punch it up with some irises, some freesia, purple orchids, and no stiff, choked little arrangements. Go with big, wild, lush.
Erica: Yes, oh, yes, yes, exactly. Why aren't you taking notes?
Josh: Go with purple as the primary color, accent it with gold, pick up the colors of the floral arrangements.
Erica: Yes, that's exactly the palette I had in mind.
Josh: And gift bags -- purple velvet, gold braid? Gift bags need gifts -- have you chosen them?
Erica: Oh, I want to hear your ideas.
Josh: Well, charms are big. How about a "New Beginnings" charm?
Erica: Oh, yes, exactly -- perfect. I mean, I can just see how it would look. Actually, how about a whole bracelet?
Josh: Great idea, and throw in some hot-selling Fusion cosmetics, and some designer chocolate -- not milk, dark -- Ericaís favorite.
[From the sidelines, Jeff looks on admiringly at mother and son working together so symbiotically.
Babe: This is your idea of a new spin on our travel plans?
J.R.: Well, that's just part of the adventure. Wherever your finger lands, that's where we're going to go.
Babe: Ok. There. We could go there.
Babe: I thought we already decided that same villa, the antique shops, the sunset?
J.R.: Well, where's the adventure?
Babe: Hmm. You know, maybe we should wait till after the holidays -- I mean, for the spring and that way, everything will be settled with Kate. She'll be home.
J.R.: Well, Tadís already found the McDermotts. I mean, we'll know if Emmaís Kate by the time we get back. If we don't go now, when are we going to have another chance to mutilate a foreign language or eat food that keeps us up all night? Or make love under a whole new set of stars?
Babe: Well, when you put it that way ---
J.R.: The northern tip of Greenland?
Babe: Well, at least that way, Little A can drop off his letter to Santa in person.
J.R.: Fine, fine. Then it's first-class all the way -- igloos with room service and cable TV.
Babe: No, better idea.
Babe: Your turn.
J.R.: Oh --
[J.R. chuckles as he spins the globe and points his finger.]
Josh: You're clear on what Erica wants?
Woman: Very. I'll get right on it.
Erica: Yes, please do. Oh, Josh, you were a lifesaver. Every idea -- perfect. I mean, we're perfectly in sync, perfectly on the same page, just like the old days.
Josh: What, before I drugged you?
Erica: You helped me get "New Beginnings" off the ground. You know me, you know the show. Would you consider planning my sweeps party? I mean, I know you're busy. I know you've got your job at Fusion, but I mean, even part-time, even as a consultant, you are better than a dozen party platters.
Josh: Well, time isn't a problem. I'm unemployed. Fusion is history -- translation, so is Babe. Are you happy?
Erica: Well, no. I mean, sometimes these things do work out for the best.
Josh: Best for whom?
Erica: I -- I'm sorry you're disappointed.
Josh: Haven't you lied to me enough? One more, and I'm done.
Bianca: You miss Mom.
Jack: Yeah, I do. You know, it's ironic -- when I was a bachelor, I had this big thing about my personal space, and now that I'm married to your mother, I find my space requirements have changed considerably.
Bianca: Sleeping in the middle of the bed ain't what it's cracked up to be.
Jack: No, it ainít. You know, I'd rather be awakened by Ericaís cold little toes in the middle of the night, wake up in the morning and find her scent on the pillow next to me. Look, I miss walking into a steamed-up bathroom finding her soaking in a tub, surrounded by candles.
Bianca: Have you told her this?
Jack: Your mother knows how much I love her.
Bianca: No. Uncle Jack, tell her. And then tell her to come home. She's been gone long enough.
Jack: Bianca, you know that nobody tells Erica anything.
Bianca: True. Well, you could ask her.
Jack: I think I'll ask you instead -- what do you know that I don't?
Erica: I wouldn't lie to you ever again. I'm sorry that you're -- you're hurting.
Josh: You know, I got to give you ops for not offering me a new beginning on the spot, but drop the sympathy play. You hate Babe. You hate everything about her. You can't even say her name without it showing on your face.
Erica: I don't like her. But there's no victory in it for me if one of my children is upset.
Josh: I am not one of your children. And for the record, I'm not an extension of your ego, either. I'm not the designated Erica Kane style consultant, so find someone else to plan your party. And while you're at it, take care of your own life. Leave me out of it.
Jeff: Josh. Don't ever speak to your mother like that.
Josh: Or what? You'll send me to my room?
Jeff: Sit down.
Josh: You got to be kidding me.
Jeff: Sit down now.
J.R.: Look, I've got some brochures in my briefcase of places we might actually like to go.
Babe: With beautiful sunsets?
J.R.: And room service.
Babe: Hmm. Bring it on, baby.
J.R.: I'll be right back.
Babe: Ok. No. Egypt.
Colby: The resident ho, rocking the world and my poor brother. You really think you have it made, don't you?
Babe: A family I love and who loves me right back? Yeah. You know, you have the same thing, Colby.
Colby: Don't start with "we are family" thing. This is my family, not yours, and I will not let you hurt my family. No matter how long it takes, I am going to bring you and your trashy mama down.
Bianca: Miranda was asleep before I even left the room.
Jack: Really? Now who's avoiding?
Bianca: No, I'm not.
Bianca: Uncle Jack, how long was this separation thing supposed to last?
Jack: "Sepa --" whoa. Nobody's separated. Your mother and I aren't separated. Was that the word she used? Did she --
Bianca: No, no --
Jack: Described it as "separated"?
Bianca: She did not.
Jack: But you think there's more to it than she's letting on, right?
Bianca: Who am I to talk? I'm here, Maggie is in Paris. I think that you guys have been through a really rough time, but Mom is dealing with it the way she needs to deal with it. It doesn't mean that she's bailing, it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. But maybe she just needs to hear it from you. Show her.
Jack: Well, I believe it does mean that there's more to this little sabbatical than she's told me.
Jeff: Erica, I need to speak to our son.
Erica: Jeff, thank you. Thank you for helping.
Jeff: I'm waiting. You can sit down, and we can discuss this civilly, or you could make a run for it, but I'll guarantee you I'll be right behind you.
Josh: All right, fine. Let's get this lecture started so I can get some breakfast.
Jeff: You know, Josh, you're very -- very accomplished. Television, medicine, business -- a real Renaissance man, but there's one thing that you're completely clueless about and that's Erica Kane.
Josh: I know what kind of tea she wants, what she likes in it, the temperature of the flippin' water. I know her favorite colors, foods, designers, hotels -- didn't you hear? We're on the same wavelength, so if you and I are done here --
Jeff: She doesn't need her ego pumped up. It's strong enough.
Josh: You got that right.
Jeff: Well, she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone, including you. Now, if she reaches out to you, it's because she cares about you, not to win points or because it looks good for the camera. She's better than that. Ask her daughters -- they adore her.
Josh: What, so you want me to join in the happy family picture?
Jeff: You know, Josh, I'm not going to ask you to do anything you don't want to do. But if you can't return her affection, at least show her some respect.
Amanda: Oh. Ok, ok, Jonathan, we have got to get this done, or I'm not going to get the order in on time.
Amanda: No one will get their salsatinis.
Jonathan: Oh. Ok, well, fine. Then you're at least going to have to play fair.
Jonathan: You know, if I were the manager, I would have to fire myself for sexual harassment.
Amanda: Well, you should be the manager. You're an Ivy-League whiz kid.
Amanda: I've got -- ahem -- less than a quarter's worth of classes at PVU.
Jonathan: Hmm. I didn't finish, either.
Jonathan: And you are a phenomenal problem solver, you're tactful, and you think quick on your feet -- that is, unless you'd rather get off of them.
Man: We have a serious problem -- and I'm seeing it firsthand.
Amanda: Harvey. What -- what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting a delivery today. Our linen count is fine.
Harvey: Hard to stay on top of business when you're on top of an employee.
Jonathan: And what did you want exactly, Harvey, be--
Amanda: I got this.
Amanda: Harvey, what can I do for you?
Harvey: You owe me. Your check -- way short of what you owe me. You only paid me for two deliveries. I made three.
Amanda: You charged us for more deliveries than you made. Here are the dates, the orders, and the order numbers. You picked up from us on this day, but you didn't make a delivery. Can't charge us for that.
Harvey: Hmm. My files say otherwise.
Amanda: Your files are wrong.
Harvey: Well, this is bogus. You don't pay me, I'll sue you.
Amanda: Go ahead. Our records are solid. Actually, if anyone's owed anything, it's your wife.
Harvey: What the hell does Margo have to do with this?
Amanda: Someone found this on the loading dock. Fell out of your pocket.
Harvey: Oh, thanks for finding it.
Amanda: Ah. Not so fast. Let's see here. "Dawn, you light up my life. Love, Harvey." Now, when did your wife change her name to Dawn? Is that a nickname? You know, it's ok. I'll just ask her when I return it.
Harvey: Uh -- sorry. My mistake. Sorry I went off. New bookkeeper. He's making a mess of the accounts.
Harvey: Uh -- did I mention that there's a new 10% discount for special customers?
Amanda: Really? Now, Harvey, if you make that 25%, I'll feel very special.
[Erica walks into her hotel room and finds a beautiful bouquet of flowers. When Jack walks in behind her, she flies into his arms.]
Jack: So, how do you like them?
Jeff: You were way out of line with Erica.
Josh: She's not sorry it's over with Babe. I just called her on being a hypocrite.
Jeff: She has her own opinions. She cares about you. She doesn't want to see you hurt. You can't fault her for that. Hey, Josh, if you want to be mad at someone, take your best shot. I'm the one who advised you to fight.
Josh: What the hell are you talking about?
Jeff: The mystery woman. The mystery married woman? I knew it was Babe.
Babe: Give it up, Colby. You're slamming around the house, throwing down threats. It's not going to work. J.R. and I are solid, and you and I could be if you'd just give us a chance.
Colby: Do you know what? Don't even. I know what you are. I heard it from your own skanky lips -- a slut who doesn't deserve to be married to my brother.
Babe: What is it with you? What is it that you want, because I'm so sick of having you up in my face 24/7.
Colby: You know what I want -- you gone. You know, and it was so close, it was there. You were ready to spill your cheesy sex with Josh, and J.R. had to ruin everything. You know, if he would've waited just five more seconds, just five seconds, you would've busted your sleazeball affair wide open to save Josh from going to prison.
Babe: You are about to find out just how far you can push me before I push back.
Krystal: Babe makes her own decisions. I didn't push her one way or the other. She loves J.R., and she's sticking with him.
David: She listens to you, Krystal. You could've told her that staying married to a man who tried to kill her was a really bad idea, maybe even fatal. But you didn't do that.
Krystal: Like I said, Babeís decision --
David: Oh, right, but one that works to your advantage, right? Is that it, Krystal? You love rolling in Adamís money so much you don't give a damn about the danger it puts our daughter in every second she's with J.R.?
Krystal: I love Adam, not his money --
David: Oh, yeah --
Krystal: And if you weren't so filled with hate for J.R., you would see that he's in a better place. He's making a huge effort.
David: Oh, please.
Krystal: He and Babe have never been so happy.
David: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. You know, but that doesn't explain why she's spending so much quality time with Josh.
Krystal: We have done this, David. I told you, Babe told you, J.R. told you. You can't believe a word out of Colbyís mouth. It's just spit, but you'd rather choose to believe the messed-up queen of teenage issues, because it fits your plan.
David: All right, fine, fine. Look, go ahead. Keep burying your head in Adamís bankroll. Believe what you want.
Krystal: You know, every hair on my neck says that you are planning something so foul that it will take down the Chandlers for good, and our daughter is smack in the middle of it all.
Babe: Get a life, Colby. I am lucky, the luckiest woman alive. I have a beautiful son, a husband I adore, and he makes me feel more loved every single day.
Colby: Oh, yeah? Well, don't think your luck's going to last forever.
J.R.: No, the real luck would be you out of Babeís life. And I'm about ready to make that happen. What about you, Babe? You want to watch me make Colby disappear?
Colby: You know, you don't scare me. You can't get rid of me -- Daddy loves me.
J.R.: Hmm. You ever notice she calls him "Daddy" when she wants something?
Babe: You know, you're right.
Colby: You know, you are such a jerk. I try to help you, and you're taking her side.
J.R.: Get out of here.
Colby: You know, this is my house, too.
Colby: You know, I don't want to -- oh! I don't want -- how do I help you --
Babe: Way to bluff, and she totally fell for it.
J.R.: It was no bluff. Colby's been on your back for way too long. It was time to take some action.
David: What are you really frightened about, Krystal? Hmm? It can't really be me -- I'm zero part of your life. So what is it? Is it this baby? You having second thoughts?
Krystal: I want this child very much. And so does Adam.
David: Well, then, you're living the dream -- happy marriage, baby on the way. Your daughter's just as happy. So what's with all the nightmares, the doom, the fear?
Krystal: Your eyes. There used to be a light. Now, you caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people, but still there was a light. Now it's gone. It's as if you've gone all dark inside.
David: What if I have? What is there to be happy about? I'm not deceiving myself that the good times are ahead, love is right around the corner. Dark is fine with me.
Krystal: That is a sad, sad way to live, David. Where is it? The lab? All those potions and crazy concoctions?
David: I'm also done with all that.
Krystal: Oh, well, now I know something's wrong.
Sean: Uncle Jack, you here?
[Sean whips his cell phone out of his pocket and calls his friend.]
Sean: Yo, Mikey? Got the place to myself, coast is clear. Come on over.
Bianca: Coast isn't quite as clear as you thought.
Colby: Talk louder.
[When she canít hear them clearly through the closed door, Colby stops eavesdropping for a moment and goes to get a glass.]
J.R.: You know, when I first brought you here, I was so worried about being worthy as a Chandler. You know, I wanted to get respect, you know, from my father and -- and from the whole world. But here under this roof, I don't have to prove that to my father anymore. I prove that to him every single day. I know what I want, I know who I am. Now, I realize that you love living under this roof, and you like being close to your mother. But I was wondering if you'd maybe like to find a home of our own.
Babe: Yeah, yes of --
J.R.: Yeah -- yes?
Babe: Yes, yes!
Babe: Oh, honey. Oh, yes! Oh, my gosh. Oh, you're the best. Oh.
Sean: I am glad you are here. That's -- that's why I came back. I -- I could use your advice.
Bianca: How to forge a note? "Dear Principal Bullard, Sean came down with a terrible case of lying on Wednesday."
Sean: No, no, no. Come on, Bianca. Look, help me out. Hey -- women, girls, female people -- we're both into them, right?
Bianca: You want my advice on love?
Sean: Whoa, whoa, hey. Back up. Not love -- women, girls.
Bianca: Female people. I got it.
Sean: Yeah. Look, the other night with Colby -- amazing. Ok? Never heard "no," never heard "stop," because I would have. Look, it was her idea. And if I had had a clue it was her first time, I would've put on the brakes, you know? I mean, there's no way I'm going to blow it again -- not with Colby or anyone else, so come on. Clue me in.
Bianca: You want the lesbian's guide to girls?
Bianca: Ok. Ok. If her eyebrows go up like this, it means she's really into you. Oh -- tucks her hair behind her ear? She's getting turned on. If she touches your arm a lot -- clinger -- watch out. Oh -- and if she laughs with her mouth closed, she's a virgin. But if you see her molars, it means she's really been around.
Sean: Are you serious?
Bianca: If you find a handbook like that, pick me up a copy.
Babe: We could have a kitchen with a cozy place to eat breakfast with Little A every morning, and dinner in the dining room every night. And a garden -- we could do a garden, and I'll plant vegetables, and I'll plant flowers, and I'll actually be there to watch them grow. Would you like that?
J.R.: Like that? I'd -- I'd love that.
Babe: Our own home -- oh, my gosh. It'll be the best ever, and I'll take the best care of it, J.R. It'll always be clean -- ok, well, most of the time it'll be clean, but it'll be perfect, and it'll be the best place for you to come home after a long day of work.
J.R.: Well, wherever you and Little A are, I'm already there.
Babe: And fires in the fireplaces all winter, you have to promise, and then barbecues in the back yard all summer. I love you so much.
[Babe squeals and kisses J.R.]
Babe: You know, though, this is kind of a big step. Maybe we should take it slow and maybe -- I don't --
J.R.: Well, I wonder -- we can -- we can have cottages or a bungalow or a mansion, a small staff, big staff. We could live next door, we could live across town. We could live in a whole nother county.
J.R.: And if we don't find a house that you like, we'll design just the right place for you.
Josh: Guess it was obvious it was Babe.
Jeff: I could see it on your face, your voice when you said her name.
Josh: In all the craziness, she was the only thing that made sense. J.R.ís such an idiot -- I don't see how she can be happy with him.
Jeff: Well, Josh, you fought for her. You did -- did the best you could.
Josh: No, I could've done more. I could've told J.R. that me and Babe were having an affair.
Jeff: Oh. And how do you think Babe would take it?
Josh: She'd beg me not to.
Jeff: And you love her enough to let her make the decision? Look, Josh, I -- I know it hurts. Babe made her decision. You have to live with that.
Jack: I miss you, Erica, so much. That house is so empty without you there.
Erica: Well, the rest of the family may not agree.
Jack: You're the heart of that house, and you're my heart. Without you there, I just --
Erica: Well, I'm just a phone call away, Jack.
Jack: It's not the same. I want to share every part of your life with you. I want to help you, hold you. Anything you want, anything you need, I want to give it to you. Isn't that what marriage is all about?
Erica: Yes, it is. Of course, it is.
Jack: Well, what's the real problem, then, Erica? Is it our marriage?
J.R.: Price is no object, Marian.
Babe: Don't be crazy, J.R.
J.R.: It has to have room for a garden, and my wife has to love it. Can you show us some places today?
Babe: Are you sure it's no problem to squeeze us in -- you're the best.
J.R.: Just give us a time and a place, and we'll meet you there.
Colby: Thanks a whole lot for nothing.
[Finally giving up, Colby leaves.]
Sean: You've given me nothing.
Bianca: Well, here's something -- female people are not generic. If you want to know how to read a girl, you got to really get know her, preferably when she's sober, preferably when you are, too. I know that must sound really lame.
Erica: There's nothing wrong with our marriage, Jack.
Jack: But you still need time, alone, not around me.
Erica: I love you, Jack. I miss you every day. But our life has just become so -- so chaotic lately. I -- I just need to get away from the noise, you know, just for a little while, just so I can focus and -- and concentrate and -- and do what I do best.
Jack: Be Erica Kane?
Erica: A lot of people are counting on me, Jack. I mean, this -- this party is absolutely crucial to "New Beginningís'" new season.
Jack: So this is all about business? Yeah. We're fine?
Erica: We're much more than fine.
Jonathan: Poor Harvey. He's never going to be the same. Hmm, hmm, hmm. You know, that kind of savvy that you had right there, that is why you deserve to be the manager.
Amanda: Oh, come on. There was nothing savvy about it. It was blackmail.
Jonathan: Hmm. Well, ok, you just learned one of the most important lessons in the shark-infested waters of commerce -- sometimes it takes a little blackmail to do business.
[Amanda chuckles as she and Jonathan start kissing.]
Del: Whoa. I guess I should've knocked.
Amanda: Hey. Your shift doesn't start for hours. Why are you here?
Del: I -- I wanted to talk to you about something.
Jonathan: And I guess I have to stock the bar.
Amanda: So, what was so important it got you out of bed before noon?
Del: You, actually. Come on, Amanda. Lavery is a loser. You deserve much better than that, and you know it. Get rid of this guy. At least give me a chance.
Erica: Thank you. Thank you for understanding.
Jack: It's not going to be easy.
Erica: Not for either one of us. Listen, I'll be home before we know it.
Jack: I'm going to hold you to that.
[After leaving Ericaís room, Jack bumps into Jeff as he goes into his room directly opposite Ericaís, and the truth dawns on him.]
Jeff: Hey, Jack.
Jack: How you doing, Jeff?
[In the bar downstairs, Josh sits having a drink alone when J.R. and Babe walk in hand-in-hand.]
David: How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a threat. I'm not out to hurt you or Babe or Adam or J.R. or even Tad.
Krystal: What does Tad have to do with any of this?
David: Well, his child, for one thing. I did everything within my power to help Tad and Dixie find their little girl, so they can be as happy as you and Adam.
Krystal: Do you think that little girl is Kate?
David: DNA says she is, but Tad refuses to believe. He'd rather hold on to his hatred for me than open his arms to his own little girl.
[Fax machine beeps]
David: You're looking pale. You really should get home and get some rest.
Krystal: I'm fine.
David: No. As a doctor, I'm telling you, anxiety is not good for your child.
Krystal: I'll be watching you.
David: You do that.
[As soon as he hustles Krystal out of his cabin, David reads the fax from Pine Valley Memorial Hospital proving that Baby Chandler and Tad Martin are genetically a match.]
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Kendall: I want to be comfortable around you, Zach, but I'm not. It's like we're two strangers on a really bad first date.
Josh (to J.R.): I've gotten out of your face, I'd appreciate it if you got out of mine.
J.R. (to Josh): I'd like to offer you a job.
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