AMC Transcript Friday 10/6/06

All My Children Transcript Friday 10/6/06

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Proofread by Gisele

Adam: You didn't eat much of your dinner, Krystal. Are you nauseous? Or did you take your prenatal vitamins? Oh, come on, here, you must be tired, sit down.

Krystal: Oh, come on. Are you always this bossy?

Adam: You're growing a new Chandler in there. What about your feet? Are they swollen? Hmm? Heartburn? What about bloating?

Colby: Ew. Are you kidding me? Do we have to hear this?

Adam: What's the problem? It's the miracle of life, sweetheart. The body adapts, the hormones surge.

Colby: Ew, gross. Stop. Stop right there.

Adam: What got into her?

TV Announcer: Broke out overnight between rival factions along the --

[Sean changes channels]

Sean: Uncle Jack, can you grab me a soda? I'm cashed.

Jack: Is something wrong with your legs?

Sean: You're already up. I'm in the middle of something.

Jack: Yes, something so important, you've barely moved off the couch since breakfast.

[Sean turns TV off]

Sean: You have a better option?

Jack: Huh.

Sean: Hey, how about you and me hit some clubs? Huh? Toss back a few, shot for shot. You can be my wingman.

Jack: Yeah, I can even buy, huh?

Sean: No, don't -- don't think of it as picking up the check, think of it as providing me with a valuable social experience.

Jack: Oh. Oh, well, in that case, I only see two problems. One, you're under 21, and, two, you're still grounded for life.

Sean: Well, if I'm under keen adult supervision, what -- what could go wrong?

Jack: Where would you like me to start, Sean?

Sean: Look, you could use a night out after Erica bolted out of here with a small family's worth of luggage. I didn't tank your marriage, did I?

Jack: No, Sean, you only tanked my boat, thank God. Look, Erica’s a professional person, unlike some people in this house. She needs some time and space to concentrate on the things that are important to her.

Erica: Jeff? What are you doing here?

Jeff: Well, I could ask you the same question.

Erica: Did you call me the girl next door?

Jeff: Hello, neighbor. Oh, great minds -- they think alike. You're here to be near Josh, too, right?

Erica: Oh, I should have known. But, no.

[When the bellhop unlocks her door, Erica looks inside aghast.]

Erica: Oh, my God.

Babe: What do you mean, you're going to fight for me?

Josh: I'm not letting you go. And I don't think you want me to, either.

Babe: What are you going to do?

Josh: Whatever it takes to get you away from J.R.

Babe: You swore to me that you wouldn't tell him. You said you wouldn't ruin my marriage.

Josh: And I'm just supposed to stand by and watch, knowing that J.R. doesn’t make you happy? Knowing you deserve so much more?

Babe: You know that that isn't the way to get me. Blowing up my marriage is just going to push me away. Is that what you want?

Josh: I wanted to give you what you need, Babe. I want you to know you have a real choice.

Babe: And it's my choice to make. Swear you won't tell J.R. Swear to me.

Amanda: Well, welcome to temptation.

J.R.: You don't tempt me. Never could.

Amanda: You know maybe if I was underneath a car.

J.R.: Get out of my way, Amanda.

Amanda: You know, I have a lovely, nonalcoholic beer that I could recommend. Or maybe a Shirley Temple for the man who shouldn't be near the bar.

J.R.: What is your problem?

Amanda: It's tough love, honey. You spend way too much time in the bar.

J.R.: I'm looking for my wife.

Babe: J.R. is here. Please, if you love me, promise you won't say anything about us. Hey, well, what's -- what are you doing here?

J.R.: I'm looking for you.

Babe: Well, I'm right here. You found me. I just stopped by to check on things, say hi to Amanda. What's up?

Josh: How you doing, J.R.?

J.R.: What are you doing here? Drowning your sorrows?

Josh: No, not exactly. I got some great news, actually. And you'll want to be the first to hear it.

Jeff: One club soda for the lady.

Erica: Thank you.

Jeff: Thanks for joining me. There is nothing worse than drinking alone in an empty bar.

Erica: Oh. Imagine, checking me in without cleaning first.

Jeff: Well, this beats waiting upstairs in the hallway while they make up your room, right? Cheers.

Erica: Cheers. Well, so much for my plans to try to shut out my life.

Jeff: So, why are you here, Erica?

Erica: Oh, I have a huge launch party to plan for for "New Beginnings," and sweeps is right around the corner, and I am so far behind.

Jeff: Well, that accounts for the truckload of luggage, huh?

Erica: Well, things have just been so hard lately, and so I -- I needed a space where I could just focus. You know, no distractions. Just me and my ideas and my plans and no outside issues.

Jeff: What about the office or home?

Erica: A change of scenery's good for creativity.

Jeff: You alone?

Erica: Well, Jack is -- is staying home, because Lily needs him. It's very complicated.

Jeff: Erica, once upon a time, you and I were married. Try me.

Erica: I simply needed to get some work done.

Jeff: I'm not buying it.

Erica: There's a lot of commotion at home.

Jeff: That's it? Things ok with Jack?

Erica: Look, there's nothing wrong with my marriage, it's just me. Forget it, please. I really should go and check on my room now.

Jeff: No, Erica, please don't go. Talk to me.

Jack: So why don't you join the rest of us in the real world, you know? Sean, there's laid back, and then there's just plain lazy.

Sean: Which one's bad again? Ok, ok. Look, you're not going to go all lame on me and start telling me to clean my room and stupid crud like that, are you?

Jack: I don't think a few rules would hurt you.

Sean: Well, just -- just take care of Lily, ok? I'm -- I'm all good. Honest.

Jack: I want you to listen to me. Lily never coasted a day in her life. I want you to think about that. And while you're in this house, I want you to knock off this attitude. Maybe Barbara let you get away with whatever you wanted to do, but here, you're part of a family, Sean. You pull your weight. Nobody here gets a free ride.

Sean: I got it. I'm sorry we crashed your boat.

Jack: Oh, listen, crashing my boat, I think, was only the tip of the iceberg.

Sean: I know how to throw an awesome party.

Jack: Yes. Complete with underage drinking and God knows what other illicit activities.

Sean: Illicit activities? God, come on, Uncle Jack, we're -- we're teenagers. We're supposed to engage in a few illicit activities. Ok, in fact, pushing boundaries is an important part of growing up.

Jack: Tell me something, Sean, how much growing up did you guys do on my boat? I mean, was there sex at this awesome party that you threw? If there was, I hope to God you had the good sense to use protection, and not flush your life down the drain.

[Knock on door]

Colby: Go away.

Sydney: What's up, foxy mama? What are you wearing to school? I'm thinking this one.

[Colby sighs]

Sydney: So you cannot wear your denim mini, ok?

Colby: You know, wear whatever. Who cares about school?

Sydney: Hello? School, guys, football games, football players. Anything?

Colby: They can go punt. My end zone's closed.

Sydney: Oh. Does that mean I get Sean?

Colby: Ugh -- my life is over.

Sydney: Ok, what's your problem, Colby?

Colby: Oh. Problem? Bad hair is a problem. This is a disaster.

Sydney: My God, are you going to prison after all?

Colby: Worse. I think I'm pregnant.

Krystal: Colby's fine, anyway. She probably just got a little bit more reality than she bargained for.

Adam: Ok. How are you? What can I do for you?

Krystal: You know, you are being very sweet. What is up, huh? You feeling guilty about something?

Adam: Me feeling guilty? Oh, certainly not. I'm much too happy.

Krystal: Oh, well, happy doesn't always mean innocent.

Adam: Oh. Hmm. I've been thinking.

Krystal: Uh-oh.

Adam: Yeah, well, last night, I was lying in bed. I was -- I realized how much different an experience this will be than your first time around. Lying all alone in that trailer, eating -- eating ketchup soup.

Krystal: Hmm.

Adam: Wondering if Hayward’s kid would have horns and a tail?

Krystal: Yeah, well, she turned out pretty good, tail and all.

Adam: Yeah. Well, you're going to have the best of everything this time. If you managed to make Babe with a mongrel like David Hayward -- ooh, imagine the child we'll have.

Krystal: Aw. Well, fine, then you just spoil me all you want if it makes you feel better. But I cannot guarantee that there won't be little horns somewhere. Chandlers are little devils.

Adam: I've been trying to figure out just when we conceived this little one. When was it?

Sydney: Pregnant? God, Colby, how did that happen?

Colby: Wait, don't make me spell it out for you, idiot.

Sydney: Well, how drunk were you?

Colby: Pretty drunk.

Sydney: So drunk you forgot to use protection?

Colby: No, we used it.

Sydney: Ok, well, isn't there some type of, like, month-after pill, or whatever?

Colby: No, a month is too late. Oh, God. What am I going to do? What am I going to say to my dad? God, this is such a mistake. I -- I can't handle this.

Sydney: Come here.

Krystal: You know, I'm not quite sure when this little peanut stopped being just a gleam in your eye and became the heir apparent. When do you think it was?

Adam: Could have been the night I trapped you in the bath.

Krystal: No, guess again.

Adam: Or -- or the morning we pretended to sleep in.

Krystal: You mean the day that Winifred almost walked in on us? Yeah, that was a nice one.

Adam: Oh -- well, how about the -- the night I --

Krystal: No. You know what?

Adam: What?

Krystal: My bet -- it was on the night [whispering] -- remember that?

Adam: It only takes once. Oh. Do you realize this will be the first time I've ever had a child while I was still happily married to its mother? You have no idea what that means to me. Hayley was -- was a complete surprise. I didn't know she existed, and J.R. and Colby -- huh -- I broke both laws and vows to bring them into the world. Who would have thought at the time that I least expected it, I'd be a father, the right way? This isn't about me, it's about -- it's about us. And our love. And our future. You were right. It was meant to be. This child will be a testament to our love that will never end.

Sydney: Ok, according to this, condoms are only 85% effective on average, and that's because they're not always used correctly. Did he put it on right?

Colby: I don't know. I wasn't looking.

Sydney: Ok, I'm just asking.

Colby: It was one time, my first time, and my life is ruined.

Sydney: It only takes one time. What are you going to do?

Colby: I don't know. My dad is going to hate me. He'll send me away. And Daddy and Krystal will have their baby, the one that he wants. And my baby's just going to ruin the family, and he'll wish that I was just locked up in the tunnels!

Sydney: Colby, calm down. It's ok. We're going to figure something out.

Colby: Oh. I can kiss my mini skirts good-bye. And skinny jeans? Pregnant girls are not skinny. And how am I going to go to school being pregnant? No guys are going to want to look at me. I'm going to have stretch marks all over my body and spit up everywhere. Look, I'm finished, and I haven't even gotten started.

Sydney: I'm sorry, Colby. How long have you known?

Colby: I just had morning sickness.

Sydney: But it's night.

Colby: No -- well, check the website. It can happen at any time.

Sydney: Ok. But you've peed on a stick, right?

Colby: No, I don't even want to think about that, ok?

Sydney: Whoa, Nelly. Ok, before you freak out anymore, at least go find out for sure.

Adam: You are an incredible woman. I've always known that, but, you know, the glow they always talk about -- you have it.

Krystal: Thank you. But you know, maybe you ought to pay a little less attention to me right now, and a little bit more to your daughter.

Adam: Why? She's not the one carrying the newest member of the Chandler family.

Krystal: Colby just got her daddy back, ok? And she went over the top to do it. Now she's looking at losing him all over again to a surprise sibling currently the size of a chickpea.

Adam: No, she's not going to lose me. She knows that.

Krystal: Does she? She's more than a wee bit uncomfortable around all this baby talk.

Adam: That's absurd! Come on, she's 16. She knows better. Did -- did I not give her the most ridiculous birthday party ever?

Krystal: Yeah.

Adam: Did I not cash in all of my favors to try to get her out of trouble?

Krystal: Yeah, and what did she do? She -- she's still clamoring for attention.

Adam: I would die for Colby tomorrow.

Krystal: I know that. But you know, maybe it just -- it wouldn't hurt to tell her again, reassure her. I mean, she just -- she just got her daddy back. And now, she has to share?

Adam: Well, most children have to share their parents.

Krystal: Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, but Colby is not so great at sharing.

Colby: I -- I cannot believe this is happening.

Sydney: You know, Colby, it is. So I want you to go to the drugstore and get a test.

Colby: I can't. My pictures are all over the paper, and everyone will know, and my dad will find out.

Sydney: Put on some sunglasses and a hoody, and you will be fine.

Colby: You're not famous. You go. No one cares about you.

Sydney: Wow. When you put it like that --

Colby: Ok, please, I -- I'm going to lose my mind. Please.

Sydney: If I do this for you, what's in it for me?

Colby: My gratitude?

Sydney: Oh, nice try.

Colby: Ok, fine. How about I'll give you the new outfit that I bought for school the other day? It won't fit me anymore. I'll be too fat.

Sydney: Ok, deal.

Colby: Don't get caught.

Jack: If you don't think you're ready to take on the responsibilities of adult behavior --

Sean: Ok, ok. Put on a raincoat. Problem solved.

Jack: Listen to me. Having a child is a responsibility that you're going to carry around with you for the rest of your life.

Sean: Ok, we're not going to have "the talk," are we?

Jack: Not at all. Do we need to?

Sean: Give me some credit, ok? I know about pregnancy, STDs. I'm not 12.

Jack: Your dad died before you were 12. So I doubt very much he had the chance to have this talk with you.

Sean: Don't bring my dad into this.

Jack: I wasn't trying to upset you.

Sean: Look, if you want me gone, I'll go.

Jack: No, you won’t.

Sean: You can't stop me.

Jack: Actually, Sean, I can.

Erica: Between Kendall’s problems and finding Josh, and helping Jack with Lily -- I mean, sometimes I just -- I hear all their voices in my head, but I don't hear mine. I just -- I can't even really hear myself think.

Jeff: Well, I always thought of you as someone who always knew exactly what she wanted.

Erica: And I was.

Jeff: But you didn't have so many people relying on you.

Erica: This might sound terrible, Jeff, but I really got good at living alone. I just don't think that I realized how valuable that was.

Jeff: Yeah, but think about all you have now.

Erica: Oh, I know. I mean -- believe me, I know. And I am so grateful for my family. I love my family. I'm madly in love with -- with Jack. I've loved Jack for 20 years, but it's just a whole other thing to actually live with a person. To -- to hold on to the "me" when we're just so busy working on "us." And -- and I just think that maybe when I'm in that situation, I just don't define myself very well. I lose Erica Kane. And I'm just not really good at it. And sometimes I think maybe I'm not even cut out for marriage.

Babe: J.R., she is just trying to work you up.

Amanda: No one cares what you have to say, Josh.

Josh: Actually, Babe, you ought to hear this, too. The truth is, J.R., I'll be staying at Fusion.

Babe: What? No -- no, you're not.

J.R.: My wife fired you.

Josh: Then Simone rehired me.

Amanda: She can't do that.

Josh: Well, she can, and she did, so I'll still be part of the family.

Babe: Ok, nobody told me about this.

Josh: She made an executive decision.

Amanda: Without consulting her partners?

J.R.: Look, my wife still has a say-so in who she works with, and it won't be you.

Josh: Sorry, man. I'll still be working under your wife. Whatever she needs me to do.

J.R.: Look, you don't have to put up with that guy's pathetic crap. Lay down the law.

Babe: It's not that easy.

J.R.: Come on. Let's go tell Simone right now that you want Josh out.

Babe: Wait, I -- I can’t. I wish that I could fire Josh, but I -- I can’t.

J.R.: Why not? You're part owner in Fusion.

Babe: I'm just starting to get some respect there, and Simone’s actually talking to me like I have something to offer.

J.R.: That's because you're smarter than all of them. They know that.

Babe: Ok, look, after ramming Amanda down everyone's throats here at the club, I can't turn around and rail on Simone for doing the exact same thing.

J.R.: Look, Josh wants you. He doesn't want to work with you -- he wants to get you.

Babe: And I can handle Josh. Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but he is good at his job.

J.R.: I can hire a dozen people who can do his job better.

Babe: And if Simone knows that he drives me crazy, she's just going to keep him on longer to upset me.

J.R.: What happened to you guys getting along?

Babe: Baby steps, not miracles, and Josh is Kendall’s brother. All Simone has to do is rope Kendall in on her side and then they outvote me.

J.R.: Then you raise hell.

Babe: It's a battle that I can't win. It's just going to make my life worse. It's not worth fighting it.

J.R.: Fine, fine. Look, maybe you can trade off with Simone -- you fire Amanda, she fires Josh.

Babe: No. No, I -- I won't do that and -- no. Amanda is good at her job, and she's a friend. Absolutely not.

J.R.: Did you see how she greeted me at the door? You know, if she does that with everyone, you guys are going to be in some serious trouble.

Babe: You also ran her down with your car.

J.R.: Well, it's not like she didn't deserve it.

Jonathan: Back off, J.R.

J.R.: Were we talking to you, Jon Boy?

Jonathan: You're going to lay off Amanda, or you're going to deal with me.

Erica: All right, you got me. After 10 marriages, I should be an expert by now.

Jeff: Well, maybe it's a work in progress?

Erica: Oh. Well, I could write a book. Chapter 1 -- "Do not keep your pregnancy from your husband."

[Jeff laughs]

Erica: Chapter 2 -- "If you misplace your father, do not find him." Chapter 3 -- "If you're both stars, who takes out the garbage?" Oh, the answer to that one, by the way, is hire someone.

Jeff: Well, I would expect nothing less.

Erica: Chapter 4 -- "Be very careful about those prescription drugs and hide all the liquor bottles."

Jeff: You're joking, right?

Erica: No. No, actually, I'm not. No, I -- I've had quite a life since you left. So it's good-bye, champagne, and it's hello, club soda. And it's something that I still deal with. I deal with it every day, one day at a time.

Jeff: Well, it -- it sounds like you've got yourself figured out.

Erica: One thing that hasn't changed about me, Jeff, is that I am still very ambitious. I think I'm more ambitious than I ever was. I find myself just pushing harder and harder. I just want to come out better and better all the time. And family life is -- is difficult for someone who's not content to be ordinary.

Jeff: Oh, please. That is one thing you'll never be. No matter who you're with or how many children you have, you will never be ordinary.

Erica: Thank you, Jeff. I honestly can't even imagine not being married to Jack.

Jack: I've spoken to your mother. You do remember Barbara, right? Dark hair, blue eyes, always running to catch a plane?

Sean: Sounds familiar. She heading home?

Jack: We talked, and since I'm not going anywhere, and she always is --

Sean: You're shipping me off to Europe, aren't you?

Jack: No, Sean -- actually, just the opposite. I suggested that she appoint me your guardian, and she thought that was best.

Sean: You mean best for her.

Jack: I've already filed the papers.

Sean: What the heck is this? Huh? I come here for the summer, and you trap me here?

Jack: No, Sean, Sean, you're not a prisoner here. I'm your family. I've loved you since the day you were born.

Sean: Spare me the family-bonding BS. Ok, you just want to punish me, because I trashed your boat.

Jack: You know, you might really enjoy your year here in Pine Valley, maybe you’ll want to stay until you graduate. Then we can talk. I mean, you -- you may actually enjoy it. Sean, when you decide what you want to do, come to me. I may actually be of some use to you, ok?

Sean: Thanks, Mr. Guardian. Why should I trust you?

Jack: Well, let's see. I fed you, I put a roof over your head, and, oh, yeah, kept you from going to jail. Now, what have you done? You broke into my house, you threw a party, you almost got my daughter molested, and you helped crash my boat. Now, who would be the untrustworthy one here, huh?

Sean: Fair enough. So let me go.

Jack: Sean, it seems to me that you've been let go most of your life. You still miss your dad, don't you? I know you do. I do, too. I miss Travis every day. I hope you know that he did not see you just as the brother that saved his own sister's life. You were his pride and joy, Sean. You were his son. And when you lost him, we started to lose you. I mean, you became this good-time kid, the boy with low expectations, your grades started to fall, you started to skip school, get in trouble here and there. And your mother -- she just gave up on you.

Sean: You don't know what you're talking about. My mom just has a lot of boyfriends.

Jack: And who do you have, Sean?

[Music plays]

J.R.: Oh, don't tell me -- young love, or are you just getting a piece?

Jonathan: You better watch your mouth, J.R.

J.R.: Amanda work her magic on you? Let me ask you something -- do you feel like a real hero instead of a busboy?

Babe: Stop it, J.R.

J.R.: She teach you that trick that I taught her?

Babe: What are you doing?

Jonathan: That's nice. That's nice talk in front of your wife.

Amanda: Look, Jonathan, it's not worth it. Just leave it alone.

J.R.: Why don't you go back to slinging drinks?

Jonathan: Instead of slinging them back? You know what I'm sick of, J.R.? You talking down Amanda every chance that you get. Why don't you lay off?

Babe: I'm going to grab my stuff, and we're going.

J.R.: I'm supposed to be moved by your little spiel?

Singers: ¯ It's getting hotter, it's getting hotter ¯

Babe: Thank you for not saying anything to J.R.

Josh: Yeah, well, it doesn't mean I'm done. We're not done. I meant what I said.

J.R.: Let me ask you -- are you that desperate or are you just so used to psychos you can't help yourself?

Jonathan: That's it. Come here -- you're done.

J.R.: What are you going to do, huh? Are you going to cut the bad out of me?

Jonathan: That's good. That's good. You -- you taunted me for months when you thought that I wasn't all there. But I was. And now I'm recovered, and I remember every word that you said.

J.R.: Oh, yeah. Do you want a prize for that?

Jonathan: You ha no idea how smart I can be. See, the last person that messed with me and the people that I care about -- he ended up dead. Don't push me.

Babe: So, what'd I miss?

Jonathan: J.R. was just learning some manners.

Colby: Fork it over. Where's the test?

Sydney: Nice manners.

[Colby sighs]

Colby: No time for manners.

Adam: Hi. Krystal's in the kitchen making some cocoa. Would either of you like some?

Colby: Uh -- thanks, Daddy.

Sydney: I'm -- I'm good. Thank you, though.

Adam: Could I -- could I speak to you for just a moment, Colby?

Sydney: I'll meet you upstairs.

Adam: Yeah. Here, why don't we sit down?

Colby: Is this going to take long?

Adam: Uh -- no. Colby, Krystal having a baby doesn't make any difference between you and me. You're still my little girl. Now, maybe sometimes I don't like your behavior. Sometimes I get furious, but I still love you. And you're not going to have to grow up and move on for a long, long time.

Colby: Is that it?

Adam: Huh. Well, promise me no more unpleasant surprises?

Colby: Sure, Daddy.

Adam: And no more Sean Montgomery. He's trouble.

Colby: You got it. Babies, good, boys, bad. Daddy loves me.

Adam: Yes.

Colby: Thanks.

[On her way out of the living room, Colby drops the information leaflet out of the one-step pregnancy test.]

Amanda: Hey, can I get you another?

Man: How about I get your phone number?

Amanda: I'll get you another drink. Hey. Vodka rocks.

Jonathan: What was wrong with that one?

Amanda: Oh -- nothing. Nothing special, either. He just came right out and asked me for my number. Who does that?

Jonathan: He should've worked up to it first, I guess.

Amanda: Where's the effort?

Jonathan: Do you ever think about falling in love?

Amanda: Yeah. Who doesn't?

Jonathan: Well, what do you think when you think about those things?

Amanda: Oh -- I don't know. The perfect guy? He's strong -- a guy's guy, you know, but he doesn't fly off the handle. He's calm. And you feel safe with him like he could protect you from anything. And he's totally secure enough to be generous. He gives everything of himself, but he's not afraid to let you give back -- a guy who puts the woman he loves first, a guy who would give you anything you want and everything you need.

[Jonathan whistles]

Jonathan: Wow. Does that guy even exist?

Amanda: Yeah -- he's you.

Krystal: How was your chat with Colby

Adam: Short -- and Colby didn't seem very interested. I -- I'm not sure you're right about her and the baby.

Krystal: Hmm. She's probably putting up a front -- you know teenagers. But stick with it. I'm sure she'll open up. And don't worry about me -- I can share you better than she can.

Adam: How did you get so wise?

Krystal: Oh, I don't know -- probably all that ketchup soup.

Colby: Where the heck are the directions?

Krystal: Hmm.

Adam: What's this? Instructions for a pregnancy test. I assume this is yours.

[Music plays]

Amanda: Look, what I meant was, is how you were with Lily. You totally loved her, and you still do. You'd do anything to protect her. You killed a man for her. And you two had a love that every girl wants -- that's what I meant.

Jonathan: You're going to find that, too. You're going to find that when -- when you're not even looking for it.

Amanda: Maybe, but I'm definitely not looking right now.

Jonathan: This little -- this little arrangement that we have, it's -- it's not keeping you from finding that real thing, is it?

Amanda: We're having fun, no worries.

Jonathan: Well, what if that once-in-a-lifetime --

[Imitates a fanfare]

Jonathan: Guy -- what if that guy is -- is here tonight?

Amanda: Ooh.

Jonathan: I don't know.

Amanda: Maybe he is, but not really shopping right now.

Jonathan: Well, if you do see him come in --

[Amanda giggles]

Jonathan: You're going to let me know, right?

Amanda: I'll let you know.

Jonathan: All right.

Singer: ¯ Baby, I only want to see you most ¯

Erica: Well, it's time for me to turn into a pumpkin.

Jeff: Well --

Erica: I have a launch to plan.

Jeff: Jack is one lucky man to be able to take you to that party.

Erica: Oh, uh -- Jack won't be there, actually. He's taking Lily to a specialist in New York -- kind of an irony, isn't it? I mean, here I am all famous and everything, and I'm going to my party alone.

Jeff: Well, I -- I don't want to cut in front of all the other husbands, but I'd be happy to take you. Besides, I'm in the same house.

Erica: Well, thank you, Jeff. Thank you. That's -- that's very gracious of you, really. Thank you. I would look forward to it.

Jeff: Well, good.

Erica: Ok.

Jeff: And, if you need anything, just -- just tap on the wall.

Erica: Oh.

Jack: You don't really have anyone but yourself, do you, Sean? And it's been that way for a while. Well, now you got this family, you've got me. And I'm not going to give up on you. I am going to set a condition, though, and that's that you meet me halfway. You think you can do that?

Sean: I promise I won't steal any more boats. The rest, we'll see.

Jack: Fair enough. That's a good start.

Sean: Hey, we can still go drink on that. Worth a shot.

Colby: Where are they? They were in the bag! Do you see them?

Sydney: Um -- they're not under the bed.

Colby: They have to be here somewhere! Oh, God. Oh -- oh, no. This is not good.

Sydney: What?

Colby: I think I dropped them downstairs when I was talking to my dad.

Krystal: Don't look at me – I didn't take a home pregnancy test. I went straight to the doctor.

Adam: Oh, come on. Who else would it be -- Winifred? No. It must be Babe’s.

Krystal: News to me.

Adam: Oh, come on. Come on, cat's out now. Fess up -- am I getting a new baby and a new grandchild?

Krystal: Babe hasn't said a word to me.

Adam: Wouldn't it be wonderful? Both Chandler women pregnant.

[Door closes]

Adam: Oh. Ahem -- um, excuse me. Do you by any chance have any good news for me?

Babe: Excuse me?

Adam: Are you pregnant?

J.R.: Pregnant?

Babe: What?

Krystal: Ease up, Grandpa.

Babe: Ok, back that truck up. Where did you get that idea?

Adam: Well -- from this. I -- I assumed it was yours.

Babe: Don't think so.

Adam: Oh, come on. Who else in this house would have a pregnancy –

[Everyone stares at Colby as she comes bounding into the room.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

David (to Dixie): Would you like to see a picture of your little girl? I saw her, live and in person. I also tested her against Tad’s DNA.

Adam: Colby, who did this to you?

Colby: It was Josh Madden.

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