AMC Transcript Thursday 9/7/06

All My Children Transcript Thursday 9/7/06


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Josh: Oh, well, that's hot. That's a well-placed baby-barf stain. You know, you should think about marketing that to frazzled young women everywhere -- hip to be haggard.

Kendall: Go to hell, Josh.

Josh: Well, it looks like you beat me to it. So, who gets the credit for that? Is that the result of an all-nighter with a screaming infant, or does personal hygiene take a hit when you realize that you're married to a murderer?

Di: All your bad press doesn't seem like it's hurting business too bad. I guess the gamblers aren't really scared off by murder charges.

Zach: Guess not.

Di: Think you can beat this?

Zach: Don't know.

Di: Well, Zach, if you don't see a way out of this mess, what the hell are you still doing here?

Adam: Happy birthday, little princess. Hmm. Today's your big day. Winifred? Ahem. Today --

[Colby giggles]

Adam: Daddy's little angel turns Sweet 16.

Colby: Whoo-hoo! You got me a car?

Adam: Oh --

Colby: Oh, my gosh, where is it? Oh, my gosh, Daddy! Oh, my gosh! Oh, it's so hot! Oh, my gosh, Daddy!

Adam: Oh!

Colby: You totally rock! Thank you!

Adam: Oh.

Colby: I -- no, seriously, my carjacking days are over!

Adam: Oh. Well --

Colby: I promise! Yes!

Adam: Well, that's -- that's good.

Colby: Thank you so much.

Adam: I love you, sweetheart.

Colby: I love you, too, Dad.

Winifred: Happy birthday, Miss Colby!

Colby: Thank you, Winifred. And, what's up, people? I am so excited because today is my birthday, and it is going to be the best, the coolest, and funnest day and night of my entire life, and it's all thanks to him -- my daddy. Thank you.

Adam: Oh, sweetheart --

[Colby squeals]

Adam: All right, all right. What would -- what would you like to do first? You want to go take a spin in your new car, or perhaps --

[Colby squeals]

Adam: Breakfast in bed?

Winifred: Lucretia made all your favorites.

Colby: Ooh.

Adam: Oh, you have this huge pack of presents still downstairs.

Colby: Yes!

Adam: But Krystal told me about the long list of beauty treatments that you and Sydney --

Colby: Mm-hmm.

Adam: Have planned in preparation for tonight's big party.

Colby: Mm-hmm. Yes, to all of it. But first, I want to try on my new dress!

Adam: Oh.

Krystal: And lucky for you, it just arrived.

Colby: Ooh, I can't wait!

Krystal: Ok, Daddy, that's your cue.

Adam: Oh. Yes.

Krystal: Go. Go, go, go.

Adam: I'm gone. Yes, of course.

Colby: Thank you, Daddy! Ah -- happy birthday to me. Whoo!

[Lily sits at her computer and enters a private chat room.]

Lily's voice: [Autism Girl] "Are we still going 2 try 2 meet today?" [Asperger Boy] "Yes, I looked at the map u sent me, and I think your private tree in the forest is a great place to meet. It seems very quiet and secluded, which is really important to me." [Autism Girl] "Me, too." [Asperger Boy] "What time do u want 2 meet?"

Jack: Lily?

[Knock on door]

Lily: Yeah?

Jack: Sweetheart, have you seen Sean yet this morning?

Lily: Um -- no, but he did once tell me that the words "Sean" and "morning" don't belong in the same sentence.

[Jack chuckles]

Lily: I think that means he likes to sleep late.

Jack: Yeah, I think you're right. I've noticed that, too. Listen, when you see him, tell him to come find me. I want to have a word with him about moderation before he goes to Colby Chandler’s birthday party, ok?

Lily: Ok.

Jack: Thanks, honey.

[Lily returns to her live chat.]

Lily: [Asperger Boy] "What time do u want 2 meet?" [Autism Girl] "I'm not sure what time exactly, but the sooner the better." [Asperger Boy] "C U soon."

J.R.: Hmm. Is it just me, or has it been too long?

Babe: Since we did this?

J.R.: Mm-hmm.

Babe: Woke up like this? Loved each other like this? It's not just you.

J.R.: Feels pretty good, huh?

Babe: Reminds me how much I love you. I want every morning to be like this for the rest of our lives.

J.R.: You're so beautiful.

[J.R. groans]

Babe: Hmm?

J.R.: There is one thing that could kill this buzz. It's Colby’s Sweet-16 birthday party.

Babe: Oh, no. You know what? I -- I'm not going to let that happen. I am not going to let Colby bust this high. I -- I want this. I want to be here in your arms, and that's what I want, even if it means holding my tongue while your spoiled little sister struts around like a holy terror all day.

J.R.: I don't even want to wait around for that.

[Babe giggles]

Babe: I want what you want.

[Colby screams]

Babe: What --

Colby: Would you be caught dead in a dress that ugly?

Krystal: Colby, I thought it was what you wanted.

Colby: You thought I wanted to wear a tent? God -- ugh, the thing is hideous, Krystal! It's stupid. I'm going to look like a cow! I hate it!

J.R.: Again, Colby, it is a dress.

Colby: It's my entire reputation!

J.R.: Well, don't you think you're taking this a little too far? When you started screaming, I thought somebody was being killed in here.

Colby: Oh, you would know what that sounds like, wouldn't you? She's doing this on purpose. You're trying to ruin my life!

Krystal: I --

Adam: Colby -- no, no, no, don't -- don't do that. Don't --

[Colby shrieks]

Babe: Ok, maybe we could get you another dress, ok?

Colby: As if there's time for that!

Adam: Colby, Colby --

Babe: When I said I wanted to be anywhere you wanted to be --

Adam: This is your party.

J.R.: You meant somewhere other than this?

Babe: Mm-hmm.

Adam: Calm down --

[Colby shrieks]

Krystal: Stop -- stop it. Now, I can fix the dress.

Colby: Oh, I don't think you make ugly cute, Krystal!

Krystal: No, I'll take it in at the waist, form it to your figure. You know, I can make it look smokin'.

Adam: Not too smokin'.

Krystal: Well --

Babe: No, really, Mama’s right. She can make a potato sack look couture.

Colby: Ok, well, I need a slit up to here, and at least a neckline down to here.

Krystal: Oh.

Colby: Well, how else are people going to know that I'm all grown up?

J.R.: Wait a minute a second, I'm confused. Do you want to look all grown up, or do you want to look like a Las Vegas hooker?

Colby: Hmm.

Kendall: Aw. Did you bring Babe a bagel? That's -- that's nice. Did you get her the cinnamon-swirly kind? That is her favorite, right?

Josh: Have you seen her?

Kendall: No. Only in that little cartoon bubble above your head -- the one that follows you everywhere you go. It's got the little Xs and Os and little hearts above her name.

[Kendall giggles]

Josh: You're really cracking yourself up, aren't you? You don't have a clue. Do you realize Babe totally saved you? You know something, Kendall? I was this close to going to the cops, and she talked me out of it. I'm beginning to rethink my decision.

Kendall: Ok, since when is it a crime to rag on lovesick losers?

Josh: Well, then why don't I give it to you in Spike-speak -- "See Kendall. See Zach. See Kendall and Zach kissing on the Fusion rooftop. Hear Zach say his alibi is phony. See Zach get away with murder --" or not. I go to Chief Frye, tell him what I saw and what I heard, and it's over.

Kendall: Ok. What you saw was a parting gift. That's all.

Josh: Well, it looked more like the grand prize to me. You know, go on pretending you're the scorned wife. I don't care. But you want me to keep my mouth shut about what I saw, you'll lay off Babe.

[Kendall chuckles]

Kendall: You are so out of the loop it's actually embarrassing. I'm not pretending to be done with Zach. I am done with him. It's over. I'm divorcing him.

Zach: How many you got there?

Di: 10.

Zach: 10 what, 50s?

[Knock on door]

Di: Yeah.

Del: Hey.

Zach: We're not hiring.

Del: Did you talk to him yet?

Di: Ahem. Zach, we're worried about Dixie. Now that Tad is being forced to testify against you two --

Del: We tried to stop him.

Zach: Mm-hmm. How'd that work for you?

Di: You know once Tad takes the stand and testifies that he saw you and our sister with a body the night that Madden disappeared, it could all be over. And you have a way to prove he's lying, right?

Zach: Who says he is lying?

Del: Tad is definitely lying. Dixie could not be involved in something this twisted. There's no way we're going to let Tad take away what little happiness she has left. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep this jerk from talking. You cover me, I'll take him out, Tad won't be a problem to anyone anymore.

Zach: Do me a favor. Go downstairs and send up whatever security we have left. Take your brother with you.

Adam: I trust I'll see you both at the Yacht Club tonight?

J.R.: Uh -- about that --

Babe: He'll be there. We both will.

Adam: Good. Thank you, Babe. J.R., I know you haven't really been getting along with Colby. I'm asking you to be on your best behavior tonight. Ask her to dance. "Show her some love," as the kids say.

Colby: Daddy! 911 emergency.

J.R.: Colby, I'm sorry I ripped your dress.

Colby: Whatever. Daddy, 911 over here.

J.R.: I mean it. I didn't realize that it was going to cause a fashion meltdown.

Adam: Yeah. Well, Colby, now, isn't that nice? J.R.’s apologizing.

Colby: He doesn't mean it. He doesn't love me the way you do. Ok, so, anyways, about my emergency --

J.R.: I did my part.

Krystal: Well, at least you gave it a try.

Colby: Ok, we talked about my grand entrance, right? It's, like, the most crucial part of my entire party. It could either make me or break me socially.

Babe: Somehow I doubt people are going to mind if you don't walk down a red carpet, Colby.

Colby: "Red carpet"? Snore.

Krystal: Ok, how do you plan on arriving?

Colby: Ok, since my party is at the Yacht Club, I'd figure I'd roll up on a royal barge -- like Cleopatra.

Krystal: You rented her a boat?

Adam: Um --

Colby: But I can't just walk off the barge like I'm some commoner! I have to be carried in, on a divan, by four hunky guys from the hunk squad, and these are the ones I want -- Lance, Thor, Chris, and Robbie. Ok, not Ben, he's way too short. And Vince, he's so juiced, it's disgusting. I mean, it's one thing to be buff, but, "Hi, I'm a whore for steroids"? Ew, that is just disgusting!

Adam: Hmm.

Colby: So, do you think you can get these for me?

Adam: Um -- Krystal?

Krystal: Don't look at me.

Babe: You know, I'm late. I got to run.

Adam: Uh -- Krystal, please? Do you think maybe you could just put in a call?

Krystal: I'll see what I can do.

Colby: Yes!

Adam: Thank you.

Colby: It's the one with the lipstick kisses on their faces, ok?

Adam: Well, now, that's solved.

Colby: Well, there's one more teensy little emergency. Ok, as you know, I had the perfect dress all picked out and ready to go -- until J.R. thrashed it, because he totally hates me. So now I'm stuck with this runner-up rag, which needs some major bling in order for it to even look remotely ok.

[Sydney eavesdrops from the foyer.]

J.R.: You've already got a custom black convertible outside. Dad's dropping 20 Gs on this party. Enough is enough!

Colby: I thought we were up to 50 grand!

J.R.: All right, that's it. Stop being such a spoiled brat. Drop the boat and the naked pallbearers, take your car, and drive yourself to your own entrance of your party.

Colby: You're not helping! Oh, talk to Krystal. Thanks.

Adam: Don't -- don't forget what I said -- no boys in that car. I've hired security guards to make sure no one gets frisky.

Colby: Daddy, you're so silly. I would never.

J.R.: She's got you wrapped around her finger.

Adam: Yeah, maybe so, but it's my finger and not Liza’s. I can work with that.

J.R.: She's walking all over you. You're ok with that?

Adam: Yeah, I'm ok with that. Just this once, yes, I can get past it. For this one time, I would like the world to know that Colby is the apple of her father's eye. That I can do.

J.R.: You don't need to break the bank to do that.

Adam: I love her, J.R. And it's been far too many years when I was without her, and there's no way that I can possibly ever make up for that lost time. And so I am going to -- um – kick off any time we have remaining to us with a bang. The money doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. All that matters is the look on her face and -- and the smile in her eye. You know we don't have a perfect family, and Colby does have a lot of work to do before she can fit in. But this one night, let's just indulge her, let her know that we're happy to have her back home with us. She's my baby, J.R. You know what that is, you know what it means. You want your child to have the world. Well, share the fantasy. Just for tonight, ok?

Lily: Dad?

Jack: Yeah, what is it, sweetheart?

Lily: Um -- I'm going to be leaving the house for a little while. I'm -- I'm going to that store in the mall in the southwest corner that sells dresses, because I want to buy a new dress.

Jack: Well, I'm thrilled to hear you want to leave the house. I'll -- I'll be happy to take you shopping, my treat.

Lily: Uh -- no, I didn't mean for you to come. This store only sells women's clothing. I can go by myself.

Jack: I see. Um -- I'm afraid, in that case, I -- I can't let you do that. I'm sorry.

Lily: Why not?

Jack: I just don't think it would be a very good idea for right now. I -- I know that's not the answer you want to hear, but you're going to have to trust me on this. I just don't think you should be, you know, out there on your own.

Lily: No, no, you think I'm going to see Jonathan, but I'm not. He made me feel stupid, he tricked me, and I don't want to see him.

Jack: Well, I'm relieved to hear that, but I'm afraid that doesn't change my answer. Look, if you want to go shopping, I'll be happy to take you. But I'm afraid if you want to do it any other way, you're going to have to stay home.

Lily: Are you going to go with me everywhere always?

[Jack chuckles]

Jack: Not always, honey, just -- for now, until I'm more comfortable on you being on your own, I guess, yes, I'll be going with you everywhere.

[While Krystal tries to work on Colby’s dress and Winifred shoots videotape, Colby and Sydney bop around the bedroom getting their nails, make-up, and hair done.]

Singer: ¯If you're sittin' down time to get up you're sippin' on somethin' drink it up hit the floor and rock your body wil' out 'cause it's a party hey¯

Singers: ¯If you're sittin' down time to get up you're sippin' on somethin' drink it up hit the floor and rock your body wil' out 'cause it's a party hey¯

Singer: ¯And now I know I'm lookin' good ain't no need to frontin' all eyes on me I must be working somethin' about to hit the floor so tell me, who want it? You lookin' at me so won't you come and get it?¯

Singers: ¯Playas what's crackin'?¯

Singer: ¯I'm askin' who's dancin' with me tonight? Oh, DJ, don't stop playin' my song¯

Singers: ¯If you're sittin' down time to get up you're sippin' on somethin' drink it up hit the floor and rock your body wil' out 'cause it's a party hey if you're sittin' down time to get up you're sippin' on somethin' drink it up¯

[Knock on door]

Di: Security come up?

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Di: Ahem. You know, I think -- I think Dixie should leave. Like, leave the country. I think she should get out while she still can.

Zach: Why you telling me? Tell your sister.

Di: I did. She said she wouldn't leave. She -- she's afraid that if she leaves, you'll look guilty. Zach, she's willing to risk prison time in order not to hurt you. Now, I've got a problem with that.

Zach: Of course you do, she's your sister.

Di: She's got some pretty strong feelings for you.

Zach: Hmm.

Di: Now, does she have a chance with you, or are you still in love with Kendall?

Zach: It doesn't really matter how I feel about Kendall. She's done with me.

Babe: Good afternoon, people.

Kendall: Not anymore.

Josh: Babe, I saw Jeff corner you at ConFusion last night. Did he give you any trouble?

Babe: No, no, no, he was cool -- a little flipped out, maybe.

Josh: Yeah. Did he say anything about seeing the coffin in my room?

Babe: Hmm -- not something you see every day.

Josh: Yeah, well, I took it apart when I got home last night. I'm not sorry I got a glimpse of what my -- what Greg went through, but I just don't want to keep reliving it.

Babe: But it helped you, didn't it? I mean, trapping yourself in there, putting yourself in his place?

Josh: Yeah. Yeah, it made me deal with some stuff I didn't want to face. And, I mean, I think it's a good thing that I broke down, because I've been sitting on a lot of negativity for a long time. And -- I don't know. In way, it just -- it feels a lot lighter now, thanks to you.

[Knock on door]

Colby: What's the password?

J.R.: "Sixteen"?

Colby: Nope.

J.R.: Uh -- "klepto"?

Colby: Ha-ha, you're funny.

J.R.: "Prettiest birthday girl in Pine Valley"?

Colby: Fine. You can come in.

J.R.: Where's your buddy?

Colby: Sydney is not my buddy, and neither are you. So stop trying to play nice, it's so obviously forced.

J.R.: I tried apologizing.

Colby: Fake.

J.R.: What's with you?

Colby: What's with you? You know, I know that you're out to kill half the town, but do you have to be mean to your own sister?

J.R.: I'm mean?

Colby: Are you kidding me? You think I'm crashing my own family. Daddy's my father, too.

J.R.: I never said that he wasn’t.

Colby: You know, I remember how it was before, J.R. You used to fight with Daddy all the time. Yeah, I may have been little, but I could tell how much you hated him. You even went off on that steamer to get away from him.

J.R.: That was a long time ago.

Colby: Yeah, and you have had plenty of time since to make up for it. But it doesn't even seem like you appreciate it. I wish I had half as much time with him as you've had. God, you have no idea how much I missed Dad.

J.R.: You really mean that.

Colby: Duh. You think? He's my father. I love him. And what he's about to do for me today is -- you know, forget it. I know you hate me.

J.R.: I don't hate you.

Colby: And you think my party is stupid. But it's not stupid to me, ok? I don't have a lot of friends here. Actually, I don't have a lot of friends anywhere.

J.R.: Colby, you don't need to throw a party to make friends.

Colby: You should've seen the girls I grew up with. They all had their dads to hang out with and do things with. God, but they were such brats. They didn't appreciate anything they had. And I swore to myself if I ever got lucky enough to see my dad again, I'd let him know how happy I was to have him in my life. That's why this party is so important to me. I want people to know I'm a Chandler. You know, that may not be important to you, but it's everything to me.

Sean: New dress?

Lily: Yes.

Sean: Cool.

Lily: Oh, wait, Sean. My dad wanted to talk to you about moderation before you go to Colby Chandler’s party tonight.

Sean: Right on.

Lily: My father also told me that I'm not allowed to leave the house by myself, even though he used to let me go out all the time. Do you know why he would change his mind?

Sean: He did? Hmm. Weird. Hey, I better go see what he wants.

[Once alone, Lily enters a private chat room on her computer as Autism Girl to talk with Asperger Boy.]

Lily's voice: "My father won't let me go out alone. Is it ok if I bring him with me when we meet? I'll ask him to wait by the path so he won't bother us." "No. I don't do well with strangers. It's going to be hard enough meeting you. I wish I could think of another plan, but I'm not very good at that." "Well, I'm excellent at coming up with plans. Don't worry, I'll find a way to leave the house alone. You just be at the tree 2night." "2night."

Kendall: So, what's up with you talking Josh out of narcing on Zach’s alibi? Is it all about protecting your freaky husband, or are you out for something more?

Babe: What do you care? How about you take the handout and be grateful?

Kendall: Uh-uh. No, no, no, no. Hmm, I don't trust you. No one is as noble as Josh wants to believe you are. So what's really going on? Do you like messing with my brother's head?

Babe: Um -- maybe I'm trying to protect Josh. You ever think of that one?

Kendall: That doesn't make any sense.

Babe: Ok. He may tell you to kiss off to your face. But it actually means something to him knowing that he has sisters, and I think that one day, the two of you could actually learn to like each other -- but not if he costs you your husband. I know you well enough to know you'd never forgive him for that.

Kendall: You don't know a damn thing about me.

Babe: But I do know Josh, and he's lost enough people in his life that he doesn't need to risk losing any more, so I asked him not to take the chance. And lucky for you, he listened.

Kendall: Why do you have such a hold on Josh? What is really going on between you two?

Josh: Anybody up for working late tonight? My schedule's clear.

Babe: I can't. I actually have a family commitment. But I hope you two get a lot of work in. I'll see you later.

Josh: Yeah.

Colby: I am going to be so mind-blowing tonight, and you are one of the lucky few who get to witness my genius up close and personal.

Krystal: Have you seen Sydney lately, "genius"?

Colby: Who cares about Sydney?

[Sydney screams]

Sydney: Oh, my God! Oh. Look what she did to me!

Colby: Ha-ha. Smile for the camera, pretty girl.

Sydney: Oh, shut that --

[Colby laughs]

Sydney: You know what? This is the most important night of my life, and you made me look like some sausage freak.

Colby: It's not that hard, trust me.

Winifred: I am sorry, Sydney. This is how I wore my hair to the prom, and I thought it was a classic style.

Colby: Oh, it's a classic, all right.

Sydney: Shut up. You know what? I'm not even going.

Winifred: Oh, no, Sydney, do not say that.

Krystal: No, Sydney, come on. You don't really mean that.

Sydney: I do.

Colby: Oh, no, no, no, no! Don't try to talk her out of it. This is the way the party should've been all along -- all about me.

Sean: I'll be on my best behavior, Uncle Jack, I swear.

Lily: You're talking about the party tonight? Can I come?

Sean: Sure. I guess.

Jack: Oh, honey, this -- this is going to be a huge party -- big crowd, lots of loud music. I'm sure some people will be wearing red.

Lily: It's ok. I did work at ConFusion, and there's lots of red there -- and some loud noises. Besides, how will I get used to being in crowds if I don't have any practice being in them? Besides, I want to make friends. Don't you think this is a good way? Do you think Colby would be mad if I come to her party uninvited?

Sean: You're not uninvited. I can bring a friend. And you picked a good night to practice, too. This party is going to be off the hook. It's going to be fun.

Lily: Oh.

Jack: "Oh," indeed. So this is why you wanted the new dress, huh? Ok, sweetheart, you can go to the party. Tell you what -- I'll drive you to the club, and then I'll just wait at the bar, so I don't cramp your style, you know. Ok?

Sean: Uncle Jack?

Jack: What?

Sean: Are you trying to waste the girl's reputation? Look, if you want Lily to make friends --

Jack: Then I probably shouldn't go as chaperone. Ok, point taken. Well, I'm not going to say yes yet, but I'll see what I can do, ok? Ok.

Jack: Listen, I need to know where the man is who's stalking Lily. I need to know if he's still in Ireland. No, Aidan, "last night" is not good enough. I need to know where this guy is right now.

Di: Rumor has it that the bosses are getting divorced.

Zach: Not just a rumor. You want some coffee?

Di: So not only is Tad blowing your alibi to hell, but Kendall’s turning against you --

Zach: Let it go.

Di: I mean, you love that woman to death, don't you?

Zach: I do.

Di: So Dixie doesn't have a chance? Ok, you need to tell her that, Zach. You need to tell her you -- she needs to just jump bail and leave the country. Now, don't let her keep wishing for something that's not going to happen. Don't let her risk her freedom for a -- a pipe dream. Tell her to run.

Zach: Your sister knows where she stands with me.

[Di sighs]

Zach: She's welcomed to leave if she wants to.

Di: Yeah, but she's not going to unless you insist on it. Ok, why are you being so difficult?

Zach: Because you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you.

Di: You're a real jerk.

Zach: I know that. Everybody knows that, so why are you so surprised? It's the only thing I do well.

Adam: Colby? Could you come down here?

Colby: Yes, Daddy?

Adam: Um -- I thought perhaps this might --

[Colby gasps]

Adam: Fancy up your outfit.

Colby: No freaking way! Oh, this is incredible! I could cry right now!

Krystal: You're not going to actually let her wear those, are you? I mean, we're talking about a girl who loses three pairs of sunglasses a week.

J.R.: Yeah.

Colby: Don't listen to her, Dad, she's just jealous.

Adam: Yes.

Colby: Oh, this is incredible, Dad. Thank you so much.

Adam: Yeah, and I'm glad you like them. But Krystal has a point. I'm letting you wear them tonight, then they go in the safe-deposit box until you're 25.

Colby: Ok, Daddy.

Adam: Ok.

Colby: Ooh!

J.R.: Well, I hope you hired extra security to keep an eye on those rocks.

Zach: Take these to the vault, please.

Di: On my way.

[Once alone in his office, Zach removes a couple of wads of cash out of his safe and stuffs them in his coat pocket.]

Kendall: Does the offer to stay late still stand, or was that just for Babe?

Josh: I work for Fusion, not Babe. If you need something, just ask.

Kendall: Ok, how about a straight answer? What is really going on between you two? Why -- why are you always looking out for each other?

Josh: You can't grasp the concept of friends, can you?

Kendall: Not in this case. Not by a long shot.

Babe: Colby sure got a production planned, huh?

Sydney: Yeah.

Babe: How about you? You have anything in the works?

Sydney: As if I could compete with a convertible, a boat, male models, and millions of dollars in bling.

Babe: I've been where you're at -- a small-town Cinderella trying to fit in at the rich girls' ball.

Sydney: Honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing here, because I'm never going to fit in. I'll just look like a big jerk, a nobody trying to be a somebody.

Babe: Well, if you go in with that attitude --

Sydney: How am I supposed to feel? There's nothing I can do when Colby has all the spotlights trained on her. I'd do anything to come up with an entrance even close to "Miss Spoiled Little Diva's," but that's never going to happen.

Babe: That's what you think. What you need is a surprise, and I may have one for you right here on my cell phone.

Adam: What are they doing up there? We're going to be late.

Krystal: I -- they'll be down in a minute. Just calm down.

J.R.: Colby, Sydney, let's go!

Babe: Ok, who's riding with whom?

Adam: We have two limousines. I was going to ride with Colby.

Krystal: Winifred and Sydney could ride with us, too.

J.R.: That's -- Babe and I will drive ourselves.

Adam: Nonsense. The chauffeurs are already booked.

[Looking gorgeous in various shades of blue, Colby and Sydney descend the staircase.]

Jack: Yeah, I'd say that's very good news indeed. Thank you very much. Ok, bye-bye. Lily, I've decided to let you go to this party -- without me -- ok?

Lily: Oh, thank you so much, Dad.

Jack: Ok, you're welcome.

Lily: Hey, Sean, my dad said that I could go to the party without him. Isn't that great news?

Jack: I'm not so sure I like the sound of that.

Sean: Excellent. Hey -- I got you these. The earmuffs are cool, but these are a little more discreet.

Lily: Earplugs. Thank you so much, Sean.

Jack: Yeah, thank you, Sean. That was -- that was very thoughtful. Well, I'm sure you'll both have a great time at this party, but, Lily -- and you -- don't have too much fun.

Lily: Ok. What is "too much fun"? Like, what happens? Is it, like, too much cake or too much ice cream? Do you get sick? Have you ever had too much fun?

[Kendall walks into her apartment and is surprised to find Zach gently holding her baby.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Adam: Ready to celebrate?

Colby: Let's do it!

Jordan: I'm Jordan Pruitt. Give it up for the birthday queen, Sydney!

Colby: Oh, my gosh, he's here! He's here! He's here!

Jesse: Happy birthday, Colby.

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