AMC Transcript Thursday 8/31/06

All My Children Transcript Thursday 8/31/06


Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele

Zach: We confiscated these last night. Sevens and 11s every time. See, cheaters always think they can beat the house. This right here, best part of my day, seeing you. You ok? All right, I'll lock the door -- be private. This is a private meeting.

Kendall: Oh, she's with me. Liz Bliss, Zach Slater.

Zach: Hi.

Liz: Mr. Slater.

Kendall: She's a lawyer. My lawyer. I'm filing for divorce.

Colby: Lights will go low. No, out! Completely out, and there will be at least three spotlights on me and some paparazzi action going on. Total Paris Hilton kind of entrance.

Sydney: Totally lame. It's so wannabe.

Colby: It beats never-will-be, wannabe.

Krystal: Colby. You posed for an ice sculpture?

Colby: I wore a bikini.

Krystal: Do you have any idea how much that hunk of frozen water costs?

Colby: Yeah, duh. That's why I posed for one instead of four.

Babe: Yes, this is Mrs. Babe Chandler. My husband didn't come home last night. His name's -- what? For what?

Krystal: Where is he?

Babe: Arrested.

Krystal: What did he do this time?

Colby: Oh, my gosh! J.R. is going to ruin everything.

[Colby sighs]

Colby: If his arrest gets more coverage than my party, I am going to kill him.

J.R.: You can't hold us here forever.

Derek: I get my answers, you can leave. So let's hit it again. You sneaked into my office and took a tape. Where is the tape?

Jamie: Like I told you the last time you asked me, I don't know. Do you?

J.R.: Uh -- can I use one of my lifelines?

Derek: If you think you're getting out of here without giving me back Tadís eyewitness account, you're wrong. Like it or not, he saw Slater and your mother with Maddenís body. Now, Daddy and that tape are bringing him down.

Dixie: Hey, Tad, it's me. If you're there, would you please pick up? Listen, um -- I know -- I heard that you're the prosecution's chief witness. Listen, I don't want to hassle you, but you -- you may want to stay away from Zach. Listen, you hate me, I know that. I lied to you, and I've hurt you too many times. But I really don't want to believe that this is payback, so just call me, ok, and talk to me? Just -- let's just talk it out, ok? And, Derek, if you're listening, Zach and I are still not guilty.

Derek: You have lives. You must want to get back to them. Now, tell me what you did with the tape.

J.R.: Oh. When do we get our three hots and a cot?

Derek: At this point, you're just being detained.

Jamie: And starved. Isn't there a law against that?

J.R.: Yeah, and this whole no-lawyer-present thing. It makes me really uncomfortable. You?

Jamie: Definitely.

Derek: You cooperate, chances are a lot better you won't do time for stealing police evidence.

J.R.: You can't charge us for something we didn't do.

Derek: That tape was my only copy of Tadís eyewitness account.

Jamie: Then talk to my dad.

Derek: I tried. He never made it home last night. Any idea where the hell he is?

Tad: Ugh.

[Tad wakes up in an underground enclosure.]

Colby: You know, if J.R.ís going to go around killing people, he can at least try not to get caught. What kind of doofus gets caught --

Krystal: Would you mind your mouth? He's your brother. And he didn't get arrested for murdering anybody.

Colby: You know, this party is the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, and I don't want people staring at me like I'm some freak, because I'm a sister of a killer.

Sydney: You're already a freak.

Krystal: If anybody's going to commit murder, it's going to be me.

Adam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, this sounds serious. What's it going to be, the giant shrimp shooter or the flying zucchini boat?

Krystal: I'm glad you're here, honey.

Colby: Daddy, I made some teensy changes to my party, but I know you wouldn't mind, because they're going to make it even better.

Adam: Oh, let me guess. You want to come in on a polka dot elephant --

Colby: Daddy --

Adam: Escorted by the entire Penn State football team. Oh, and, best of all, a skywriter.

Colby: Ooh.

Adam: Ooh.

Colby: A skywriter. Not bad.

Krystal: The party can wait.

Colby: You always say that.

Krystal: J.R. is in jail.

Adam: What? What did he do?

Krystal: I don't know the details. Babe left for the police station as soon as she found out.

Adam: Damn!

Colby: Daddy! I needed him!

Krystal: You know what? I think J.R. has the edge on this one.

Colby: You know, it would've taken two seconds, Krystal. You could've waited, but no, you had to blab on about J.R.

Krystal: Ok, why don't we just take a little trip off of Planet Colby, population 1.

Colby: This is what I need -- a lecture.

Krystal: You've had your own trouble with the law, sugar puss. All those cars you borrowed? Your daddy went and bought each one of those owners a brand-new vehicle of their choice.

Colby: Boring. I don't care.

Krystal: You are still on the hook for resisting arrest, driving recklessly, and what did your daddy do?

Sydney: He should've grounded her for life.

Colby: Shut up.

Krystal: He postponed your hearing, so that you could have your party. So while you're playing Ms. Pain-in-the-tush diva, your daddy is out there making sure that you get off with just a slap on the wrist. Now, if he can do all that for you, can't you just spare a couple of hours, so that he can get your brother out of jail?

Colby: Well, I guess this does make me the "good" child.

J.R.: You need a good reason to keep us here. A tape that we know nothing about -- it's not good enough.

Derek: Try this -- that surveillance tape would compel Tad to take the stand as the DAs witness. Tape's gone, and suddenly, so is Tad, and you two jokers just happened to stop by, all on the same night.

J.R.: It's a long night. Maybe you misplaced it.

Derek: Locked it in a drawer.

Jamie: It's a big place, kind of busy. Hey, you know what? Maybe one of your men borrowed it.

Derek: Tell me what you did with the tape.

Jamie: My God, this is harassment. I mean, stop me if I'm wrong.

J.R.: It's total harassment.

Jamie: Here we are, trying to be good citizens. We come by here to stay on top of the case, offer our help, and you want to bust us with a phony charge.

Derek: You used to be a good kid.

J.R.: What, I'm the bad influence?

Derek: There's no future in getting on my bad side.

Babe: J.R., thank God you're all right. When you didn't come home, I freaked out. I called the cops, and they said you stole evidence. Are you under arrest?

Jamie: Ask him.

Derek: Not yet.

J.R.: Go home, Babe. There's no good reason for you to be here, not unless you brought some coffee.

Derek: These two jokers are obstructing a murder investigation. Stealing evidence is just one of the charges I could throw at them and make stick. Talk some sense into them. Otherwise, they're mine.

Babe: How could you do this, J.R.? We just got you out of bigtime trouble, and now you're in it all over again?

J.R.: Don't worry about it.

Babe: "Don't worry"? You didn't come home last night. I didn't know where you were. I was worried.

J.R.: It's not a cushy hotel room in Philadelphia. No shots. Better company.

Jamie: Thanks?

Babe: This isn't a joke. You could be arrested. Why didn't you call me?

J.R.: It's not that big of a deal. The cops are just messing with us, because Tadís missing, they want their witness back.

Babe: Yeah, and Derek can't wait to bury you behind bars. This isn't just about you, J.R. It's about us and our family. Don't I get a vote on whether you stay out of trouble?

J.R.: My vote doesn't matter with you anymore. You do whatever you want whether I like it or not.

Babe: Oh, don't tell me you want to make this about Josh.

Josh: Is Babe here?

Krystal: No, she's not.

Colby: She had a 911 with J.R.

Krystal: Something I can do for you?

Josh: Yeah, these -- these mockups need to be approved before noon. If it's all right with you, can I leave them for Babe?

Krystal: I tell you what, why don't you just wait a bit? I -- I'd like a word with you.

Babe: Don't even start on Josh.

J.R.: I'm just stating a fact. You had to hook a big-name musician for Fusion even if meant staying all night in a hotel room with Josh. Now it's my turn to do what I got to do.

Babe: You have no idea how much you owe him.

J.R.: For what? Not taking you to bed?

Babe: You're such a jerk.

Kendall: A cash settlement, as outlined in the document, and your promise to stay 500 feet away from my child. I will keep this casino, you can have the rest. This way you and Dixie can leave town. I hear Vegas is nice this time of year.

Zach: It's hot.

Kendall: You can fry for all I care. It's bad enough you're a cheating bastard. Now you're a murdering bastard, too. I'm done with you.

Zach: You believe Tad Martinís story.

Kendall: He's not the liar. If the police believe Tad, why shouldn't I?

Liz: Initials on the indicated pages. Signature and date on the last page.

Zach: I'm not signing anything until I talk to my wife alone.

Tad: Thank you, thank you.

Tad: Oh, my God!

[Tad groans as he uses his little flashlight to examine his prison and try to kick himself free.]

Tad: This is exactly how Madden died.

Dixie: Hey.

Babe: Do you ever stop? Do you just keep racking them up, plow ahead, next victim, because there's always another one?

Dixie: If I knew what you were talking about, maybe I could help you.

Babe: Tad, J.R., and Jamie, and that's just the first round, because everything is about Dixie -- whatever you want, whatever you need, everyone else be damned. Now, you broke up Tadís engagement to Di, Kendallís marriage to Zach, and now my marriage isn't doing so hot, either, thank you.

Dixie: Ok, if you and J.R. had a fight, maybe --

Babe: So what I'm really wondering here, Dixie, is if you think you have some extra-special reason and power to mess with people's lives just because you're back from the dead, and it's not even the real dead --

Dixie: Ok, ok, would you just hang on a second? What happened?

Babe: J.R. and Jamie got the bright idea to steal the tape of Tad busting you and Zach. Sucks for them -- it was in Chief Fryeís desk drawer. Sucks even more, he caught them.

Dixie: So, what, J.R. is in jail?

Babe: Not yet, but Derek held them all night.

Dixie: Why would J.R. and Jamie do something so crazy? I mean, Tad is going to testify against me whether they have the tape or not.

Babe: Dixie, Tad is gone! Vanished, thin air, just like the tape.

Dixie: Oh, my God. Oh, damn it.

Babe: "Damn it," really? Because, see, my first reaction would've been that you would've been thrilled. I mean, no tape, no Tad. Only good news for you. One itty-bitty problem -- the cops are ready to slam on J.R. and Jamie. J.R. especially, and with his history, they're going to tag him with years in prison, he'll lose everything, all because he'll do anything to protect a guilty mother.

Dixie: I didn't kill Greg Madden.

Babe: Right. The alibi. You and Zach forgot about that one. You know, I wouldn't get too comfy with that. Bad news is there's a new eyewitness out there who's willing to testify that your little affair is pure bull.

Josh: Colby, as soon as Krystal finishes her phone call --

Colby: I am so happy you're here. We have tons of catching up to do.

Josh: Oh, do we?

Colby: Yes. Josh totally saved me the first time I got here.

Sydney: You guys are kind of blocking my light.

Colby: Trailer rag. No manners. You have to come to my Sweet-16 party. Say you will? Be my mystery guest? You can sit at my table. And we'll dance.

[Colby gasps]

Colby: How about we'll have a special dance together, just me and you, everyone watching.

Josh: Forget it Colby, all right? Old enough to drive doesn't mean you're old enough for me.

Colby: But -- I could be a great friend.

Josh: I'll keep that in mind.

Colby: And I can help you in all kinds of ways, like shredding Babe and J.R. You know the only reason why J.R. found out about your and Babeís little sleepover in Philadelphia is me. Babe forgot that little detail. But I am all about the truth. So worth it. You should have seen J.R. He was so ticked off. You say the word, and I'll be the best friend you'll have in this house.

Krystal: Colby, why don't you go and do something a little bit more constructive in your room -- before you see me so ticked off.

Colby: But Josh and I were just catching --

Krystal: Now would be better than later.

Colby: Call me. Yes?

Sydney: Oh, my gosh. She's so immature.

Krystal: Ah, you know, why don't you move your little project, too. Why'd you really come here, Josh? Did you want to get in J.R.ís face?

J.R.: This is starting to get old, Chief.

Derek: You were the only ones in here when that tape disappeared from this drawer. The lock was picked. Something tells me Tad Martinís sons would know how to do that.

J.R.: Ok, so we picked this lock, we snagged the tape. Problem with that theory, there is no tape. You searched us.

Jamie: Twice.

J.R.: We're clean, so let us go.

Derek: You could've thrown it out the window.

Jamie: The last time I checked, those things don't fly away.

Derek: To an accomplice.

Jamie: He's good.

Derek: I hate to think Amanda had something to do with this and have to bring her down here for questioning, because she's been through so much.

J.R.: Which is exactly why you won't, because you have no proof against her or us.

Jamie: We done here?

J.R.: What, you going to arrest us for evidence that we don't have?

Derek: Yes.

Jamie: Oh, come on.

Derek: Call it an incentive program.

Jamie: Wait, wait a minute. Is this even legal?

Derek: You're lucky I don't slit you both wide open.

J.R.: Oh.

Derek: I wouldn't put it past either one of you to eat my evidence.

Liz: Mrs. Slater, being alone with your husband is not a good idea.

Kendall: Don't tell me how to handle my husband.

Liz: The settlement is very equitable. It's best for everyone concerned if you adhere to your wife's wishes. The less emotion involved in this, the better.

Zach: I'm never emotional. Patience -- now that's my problem. Here. Go play. I'd suggest table 5. Got a lawyer? Paperwork? It's impressive. You're upset, aren't you?

Kendall: You think?

Zach: Because of Martinís story? I'm not going to get convicted.

Kendall: Zach, Tad saw you and Dixie with a body. He said it all on tape.

Zach: Well, that tape's not our concern anymore. Neither is Martin. He's not available.

Kendall: Did you put Tad in a coffin, too?

Tad: No food. No water. This is either going to be a really short stay, or nobody wants me to get out. Who the -- Slater. Son of a bitch! Slater!

Zach: You're serious, aren't you?

Kendall: Shouldn't I be?

Zach: What happened since the last time we spoke?

Kendall: That famous disc with Greg Maddenís last words -- Ryan found the disc in our closet. How did you get it, Zach?

Zach: Got Ryan in our closets?

Kendall: He wasn't snooping.

Zach: Oh, it sounds like he's moving in.

Kendall: No, actually, he was taking care of me and my son, because my husband, the man who swore he would never, ever lie to me again, has been charged with murder and is getting busy with his accomplice.

Zach: Yeah, that's what the world thinks. Now, what Ryan told you --

Kendall: No, what Ryan found, Zach. It's what he found. Unlike my husband, who kept it a secret, Ryan came clean about the disc. He didn't want to, but I thought that I deserved to know if my husband really is a killer, despite what my husband swears to.

[Knock on door]

Zach: Not now.

Man: Mr. Slater, it's Jay. It's important.

Jay: There's a woman on table 5. She's cleaning up. She says you sent her. Should we cut her off?

Zach: Let her play.

Jay: Boss, she's killing us.

Zach: Let her play.

Kendall: You don't -- you don't have to lock the door. Anyone who walks in -- they'll just see me trying to get a divorce from my cheating, lying, murdering husband. Kind of pumps up the alibi. Isn't that what you want? A nice, strong alibi no one can break?

Zach: You're convinced that I'm guilty.

Kendall: All this time, playing hero to Dixie, you swore up and down that you have not risked our future for her. I hate her. I -- I hate seeing the two of you together. I hate your relationship. I hate the lie of your affair. Not that it's a lie to Dixie, because she actually wants you. But I've gone along with it, Zach. I have played my part. And I could deal because I trusted what you told me. That you didn't kill Greg. But now, I'm starting to get these cold sweats in the middle of the night again, Zach. Was I stupid? Could you bury Greg alive? Could you snatch him and put him in a coffin and bury him? Yes, of course, you were definitely capable of that. But lying to me again? After the blackout, I didn't think it was possible. Did you do it? Did you lie to me?

Tad: Slater!

[Tad repeatedly kicks the wall of his enclosure.]


Tad: Yes, yes.

Dixie: So who is this eyewitness?

Babe: Someone solid. Someone who can blow you out of the water.

Dixie: What's stopping them?

Babe: Do you realize that J.R. believes in you? He's risking everything for you, and you're guilty?

Dixie: J.R. getting himself into trouble is the last thing I want.

Babe: But it just keeps happening. Ever since you got back. You know, when you were gone, we all had the same giant prayer. "If only Dixie were here -- if only Dixie would come back, J.R.ís life would be saved." No more acting out, no more craziness. Just one word, one look, one tiny smile from his mama, and J.R.ís world would be right. It's still a crock, huh? I mean, J.R. and I -- we -- we had finally gotten things right. We'd gotten past all the bad stuff. Our marriage was working. We even talked about having another baby. J.R. finally had some peace.

Dixie: And then I came back.

Babe: And now, he's -- he's acting out, doing all these crazy things. Jumping into things he should be running away from, because he has a child -- a little boy. Don't you care about that? Right now, I really wish you'd never would've even come back.

Dixie: Look, I know you love J.R.

Babe: Of course, I do.

Dixie: Well, that's good. Because he is completely devoted to you.

Babe: And it goes both ways.

Dixie: So tell me something. Where does Josh Madden fit in?

Josh: I'm not here to cause any trouble. It's just business.

Krystal: Like Philly?

Josh: Look, Babe wasn't at the office. I thought I'd take a shot. I was wrong.

Krystal: But you were kind of hoping that J.R. would answer the door, so that you could rub your business with Babe in his face.

Josh: You know what? I didn't think about J.R. I try not to.

Krystal: You're circling my daughter way too close.

Josh: We're just friends.

Krystal: You know, Babe has helped you through one crisis after the other. Always there with a shoulder and a tissue. Can't you see it for what it is? She feels sorry for you. So stop taking advantage and back the heck off of their marriage.

Babe: Josh is a friend. We work together. J.R. knows that.

Dixie: Well, J.R. didnít know where you were the night that he was at the hospital.

Babe: Really? Because I left messages.

Dixie: Hmm. You know, you're so quick to judge me, my actions, my choices, and how I hurt my son. What about yours?

Babe: My husband knows how much I love him, Dixie.

Dixie: Really? Because I heard the night that J.R. played Greg Maddenís final words at ConFusion you ran after Josh. In front of half the town, you chose Josh?

Babe: Because what J.R. did was cruel. Josh was alone. He didn't have anyone else except me.

Dixie: Yeah, or -- or maybe you did it, because you knew it would make J.R. crazy to watch you run after another man. And afterwards, you and Josh alone on that island --

Babe: It wasn't planned, Dixie. We crashed.

Dixie: Have you ever thought what it must be like for J.R.? He's never going to really know what happened between the two of you.

Babe: Nothing.

Dixie: Right. Ever since you two got back, you have been awfully cozy. You've even hired him to work for you. Is that another act of kindness, or another dig at J.R.?

Babe: You want to slam on me, that's fine. But the only reason that the cops aren't up in your face right now is Josh. He's the witness, Dixie. He saw Zach and Kendall kissing and talking. He wanted to go to the cops. He finally had the chance to make someone pay for Gregís death, and I begged him not to, because I didn't want J.R. to lose his mama all over again, ok?

Dixie: Look, you still don't know the whole story.

Babe: Hmm. No alibi. Hmm. You know, I should have just let Josh go to the cops. I should have driven him there myself, because if he would've told the cops what he knows, J.R. wouldn't be facing charges right now for protecting you, again.

Dixie: Come on, if I had known that J.R. was going to go to the cops --

Babe: You would have what? You would have been so upset? You're so concerned. You're -- you're concerned about your son and his future? Then how about you stop being selfish, Dixie, and step it up -- plead guilty. What's that?

Colby: Isn't Josh completely hot?

Sydney: Yeah, he's all right.

Colby: You're just jealous.

Sydney: Oh, of your obvious one-way crush?

Colby: Josh and I slept together once.

Sydney: No way.

Colby: Yeah, in the hospital where all the doctors change. Oh, you should have seen his body. It was to die for. And the way he kissed me -- oh, but you wouldn't understand. But one day, when some drunk-out-of-his-skull guy actually puts his lips on yours --

Sydney: I've been kissed.

Colby: By that dog of yours? It doesn't count.

Sydney: You're making this up. Not a chance that a hottie like him would hook up with you.

Colby: Ask J.R. He and Jamie walked in on us. They were about to bust him in two.

Sydney: Huh. Colby, Josh is too old for you. If you two really hooked up, you know, he could get arrested. We should tell your dad.

Colby: Well, we didn't actually do it.

Sydney: Oh --

Colby: We just fooled around. But he wanted me.

Sydney: Sure, he did.

Colby: I know he did.

Sydney: Hmm.

Josh: I really like your daughter. And from what I've seen, she could use a friend.

Krystal: She has a husband.

Josh: Who tried to kill her. What -- what is this with you trying to stick up for him?

Krystal: They have a complicated marriage, ok? And they're finally getting back on track. The last thing they need is a distraction.

Josh: Oh, is that what I am? A distraction?

Krystal: Look, you think you might be able to handle this, Josh, but you can't. I know my daughter. So if you really care about her, why don't you take 10 giant steps back? I know what's best.

Josh: Yeah -- you know, I've -- I've learned that lately. That mothers always know best. Well, here's a question for you. Best for whom? I mean, all this flag-waving you're doing for your son-in-law -- is it what's best for Babe? Or is keeping Babe married to J.R. the only way that you can hang on to Big Daddy here?

Adam: Well, what is there about this place? You just can't stay away.

J.R.: Well, you didn't have to come down.

Adam: What, and miss one of your arraignments? The joy of posting bail?

Jamie: I have enough money now. Maybe we should just pay our bail in advance for the next few years.

J.R.: Yeah.

Adam: You shouldn't need bail. Obviously, the chief of police is working a personal vendetta.

Derek: The charges are legitimate.

Adam: No. You've targeted my son, and this is not the first time. That's harassment. I have a call in to the governor. This grandstanding is over. And if I have my way, so is your job.

Derek: Hammer? You're free for now. But I'll keep those cots fluffed and ready.

Jamie: Well, now we officially ticked him off. We might need to use the Chandler jet ourselves.

Adam: Oh, by the way, the -- the pilot called. Somebody -- uh -- reserved a flight, but somebody didn't show up. What's that about?

J.R.: The plane never took off?

Jamie: Oh, crap.

Zach: I didn't lie to you.

Kendall: Ok, so then Ryan lied to me about the disc?

Zach: No. It was in my closet.

Kendall: So then someone put it there. Someone planted it. They were trying to frame you.

Zach: I put it there.

Kendall: Ok. See, you -- you say that you didn't bury Greg, but you had the disc that was made while he was buried. So if -- if you didn't bury Greg, then how did you end up with it? Come on, Zach, talk to me. Help me. Please, just help me try to make sense of this.

Zach: Trust me.

Kendall: Don't do that. Don't hide behind that -- that man-of-few-words thing that you do. I -- I deserve to know. I'm part of this. I have done everything that you have asked me to do. I have played it to the back row. To friends, to strangers, to -- family, media. I have done whatever you've wanted me to do. You owe me.

Zach: I owe you everything.

Kendall: Except the truth.

Zach: I love you. And I swore we would have a future together, and nothing -- not even this -- is going to get in the way of that.

Kendall: So that's it? That's all I get? More promises. And I'm just supposed to trust? You were right, Zach. Cheaters always think they can beat the house. You might as well sign the divorce papers. We're through.

Dixie: Look, I can't plead guilty without hurting other people.

Babe: Dixie, what about the people that you're already hurting? Your family, J.R. -- do they not count?

Dixie: Of course, they do.

Babe: Then why are you even hesitating? Your son needs you, and you can't decide?

Dixie: No, it's not that. It's not that clear-cut.

Babe: Yes, it is, Dixie. Yes, it is. Greg Madden stole your little girl. You're a victim. You fought back, took it in your own hands. It's totally sympathetic. The jury would eat it up. You would get off with a way lighter sentence than anyone else would.

Dixie: Look, I'm not the only one that's charged.

Babe: Oh, my God. You did not just say that. Look, with -- with the tape missing, with Tad gone, the cops' case is bust. Dixie, you need to go to Derek and tell him that you did it. You can tell him that you acted alone for all I care, but you need to tell him. Cut a deal now. When your son tried to kill me, you came to me, and you begged me to keep him out of prison, and I did. I staked my life on J.R., and now he's staking his on yours, so what are you willing to do to keep your son out of prison, Dixie? Oh.

[Door opens and closes as Babe makes her exit.]

Krystal: With bills like this, nobody gets a party.

Sydney: Ok, Mrs. Chandler, please. This party means so much to us and our friends. You know, my Aunt Winnie was really excited for me, and I hate to let her down.

Krystal: I'm sure everybody will get over it.

Colby: Oh -- you can't do that. Daddy promised me.

Krystal: Oh, well, he might change his mind when he reads the fine print --

[Door closes]

Krystal: And when he finds out that you're trying to sabotage J.R.ís marriage. Oh, good, I'm glad you're here. How's J.R.?

Adam: He made bail. The charges against him are ridiculous. They'll go away by themselves.

Krystal: Well, uh, this wonít. Colby has taken it upon herself to order four more dresses.

Adam: What's wrong with the one you bought?

Colby: Daddy, nobody wears just one dress to their Sweet-16 party.

Krystal: And she bought out the yacht club terrace. She ordered a dozen limousines and commissioned an ice sculpture.

Colby: Just one. Remember? I told you about that.

Adam: Mm-hmm. Yeah, just -- it was just one ice sculpture, though, right? Maybe?

Sydney: Or we could cut it up and make some Colby cubes for drinks.

Krystal: You are going to own the most expensive puddle in history.

Colby: You just can't take it how much Daddy loves me.

Sydney: Oh --

Adam: I thought we all talked about being nice to each other.

Krystal: Adam, your daughter is out of control, and she's over the top.

Colby: Krystal's just jealous.

Krystal: If you don't do something, I will.

Colby: Go ahead, Daddy. Do something.

[On Fusionís rooftop terrace, Kendall confronts Babe.]

[Knock on door]

Derek: It's open. If you're looking for Jamie and J.R., you're too late. They made bail. They're gone.

Dixie: That's not why I'm here.

Jay: This is a private office.

J.R.: Where the hell's your boss at?

Jamie: You know where he went? Have you seen him?

Jay: You can't just barge in here.

J.R.: Yeah, well, we're already in.

Jamie: And we're not leaving until we find out where Slater is.

[Tad kicks wall]


Tad: Is somebody out there? Can you hear me?


Tad: Help me out of here! Thank God. Thank God.

[Someone helps Tad get out of the crypt.]

Tad: Oh, no.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: You mean to say that you're the evil genius behind this whole crypt-stashing scheme?

Zach (to Ryan): Whoa! What's all this? Are you afraid I'm going to bury you next?

Dixie (to Derek): I do admit it. I killed Greg Madden.

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