AMC Transcript Friday 8/25/06

All My Children Transcript Friday 8/25/06

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[Zach barges into Tad’s house in a menacing manner.]

Tad: Ever heard of knocking?

Zach: What games are you playing with Dixie?

Tad: I'm busy.

Zach: What do you want from her?

Dixie: Hey. Major concussion. I don't care how hard your head is. You're supposed to take it easy.

J.R.: Yeah, how do I do that? I don't know where Babe is, I haven't heard from her since yesterday, no one's seen her or talked to her.

Dixie: I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, ok?

J.R.: Yeah. Yeah, there is -- something happened to her, something bad.

Krystal: Oh, thank God. Thank God, you're all right!

Babe: I am fine.

Krystal: Where have you been?

Babe: Philly, on business. I left messages for J.R. --

Krystal: I have been crazed out of my mind. Wait a minute now. You -- you left Fusion with Josh. Please, please don't tell me that he went with you.

Babe: Please don't start, Mama. I didn't have a choice. It was make-or-break time, ok?

Krystal: Oh, well, isn't that just peach pie with ice cream? Why don't you just divorce J.R. now and get it over with?

[Josh whistles as he walks into his hotel room.]

Josh: Is there a particular reason you broke into my room?

Erica: If I'm already inside, you can't slam the door in my face.

Kendall: Hmm.

[Kendall wakes up in bed next to Ryan.]

Kendall: Thank you.

Ryan: For what?

Kendall: For spending the night.

Ryan: Any time. Hmm.

Kendall: Oh, my God -- Spike. Spike.

Ryan: What? I didn't hear anything.

Kendall: That's the point. Ryan, we -- we haven't heard anything yet. Normally he's screaming, he's crying, and he's hungry by now. Normally he needs to eat by now. I haven't heard anything out of him.

Ryan: Well, shh -- look at him. He's breathing, he's drooling a little bit. He's even snoring like his old man.

Kendall: Well, he looks ok. Something -- but something's not right, Ryan. Normally he wakes up at least once in the middle of the night for a bottle. I mean, he needs to be fed, right? But nothing, not -- not even a whimper.

Ryan: Maybe he just wasn't hungry. Maybe he wasn't hungry.

Kendall: I don't know. What, do you think something's wrong, Ryan? Should we -- maybe we should call the doctor. Maybe I -- should I call the doctor?

Ryan: Wow. I got to tell you, he looks happy to me.

Kendall: I don't know, Ryan. Just -- I mean, what if something's wrong? What if he doesn't wake up? What if he's not breathing?

Ryan: I really, really, really think he's fine, Kendall. I think he's fine, ok?

Kendall: I'm going to check on him and see. Hey, baby boy.

Ryan: Oh.

Kendall: Sweet baby boy.

Ryan: You know what?

Kendall: Are you ok? Are you dreaming?

Ryan: Why don't we --

Kendall: Are you dreaming?

Ryan: Why don't we just let Spike --

[Spike cries]

Ryan: Sleep?

Kendall: See? He's screaming right now, Ryan. He's howling, ok? Something is definitely wrong with him.

Ryan: Yeah.

Kendall: I've never heard him scream like that before.

Ryan: You bet it is. You just woke him up. Welcome to Spike's first case of baby rage.

Erica: I have all your favorites. I remember from when you used to eat breakfast at your desk at "New Beginnings." Scrambled eggs, clucking, bacon extra done, wheat toast, and double espresso.

Josh: You know, if it was banana pancakes, you might've scored extra points for peanut butter. Tell you what -- you don't want it to go to waste, you eat it. The hallway would be a good place. I need to crash. What, are you going to stick around, tuck me in, read me a bedtime story?

Erica: I know you're angry at me -- I know that. I -- I understand that. I mean, it's so much to -- to take in, to process, the emotional overload alone. I want a relationship with you, Josh. I know Kendall has spoken to you about this. If we could just talk -- about anything, about your likes, your dislikes, about what you do for fun, what your plans are. Or even, I mean, just sports, headlines, and movies -- anything, anything you want, anything.

Josh: You want to talk? All right -- you want to know what do for fun, Erica? You'll never guess where I was last night.

Erica: Ok, well, I'd love to hear it.

Josh: Well, I was with one of your favorites -- Babe Chandler? Spent the night with her, and it was fantastic.

Babe: You are so totally overreacting.

Krystal: A night away from home with a guy who is crazy about you, throwing a plate wouldn't be out of line.

Babe: And I told you I can handle Josh, ok?

Krystal: By spending the night with him? That's cheating on your marriage, honey.

[Colby eavesdrops from the hallway.]

Babe: Mama, that is so not true and you know it. One more time -- I love J.R., J.R. is my husband, Josh is a friend.

Krystal: A friend who would go deep and dark to snatch you away from that husband.

Babe: Look, I know that Josh has feelings for me -- we've talked about it -- but he knows that J.R. is my one and only.

Krystal: So, all those feelings and all that talking -- anything else happen last night?

Babe: It was business.

Krystal: Clear through till the a.m.?

Babe: It's not like I sneaked out of town or something. I left messages on J.R.’s cell phone.

Krystal: And did you ever wonder why he didn't return them?

Babe: I don't know -- busy, asleep, some --

Krystal: Hospital.

Babe: What?

Krystal: While you were out handling Josh --

Babe: Oh, my God --

Krystal: J.R. ended up in the ER.

Babe: What happened? Is he ok?

Krystal: Your daddy put him there.

Adam: Good news. Winifred called -- Babe is home, she's fine.

J.R.: Thank God.

Dixie: Oh. See?

Adam: And you're free to go.

J.R.: Not soon enough.

Dixie: Oh.

David: Great. Just when we thought the world was safe, you're back out on the streets.

J.R.: What the hell are you doing here?

David: You need to put a tight leash on your son. Slightest thing sets him off.

J.R.: You're done shredding my mom.

Dixie: It's all right, J.R.

J.R.: Oh, you're going down, and I'm going to make sure of it.

David: That can't possibly be a threat, because I believe I won the last round.

J.R.: I'm going to make sure that you're put away for Greg Madden’s death.

David: All right -- points for enthusiasm. But you actually have to have evidence to bring somebody down for murder, and since you haven't noticed, there is zero evidence against me. But there happens to be a lot of evidence against your mother.

Tad: I guess I should be thankful you didn't kick my door off its hinges.

Zach: What's wrong with you? You're walking around implying to everyone that Dixie killed Madden? What is that -- your little jealous dance? Well, it stops now. You're putting her at risk.

Tad: I'd say you're doing that all by yourself.

Zach: You lost her! She's gone. And you know what? I don't think you ever deserved her in the first place.

Tad: Hey! Why don’t we talk about what you deserve?

Krystal: And then David clocked J.R.

Babe: From behind? For no good reason?

Krystal: Yeah, well, since when does David need a reason to be a jerk?

Babe: I swear to God I'm going to kill him.

Krystal: Well, get in line. But first, why don't you give J.R. a little extra TLC, honey. He's been asking about you ever since he woke up at the hospital. "Where has she been? What has she been up to?"

Babe: I get it, Mama. But I'm here now, and I'm going to go to PVH.

Krystal: No, no, no, just sit tight. Adam's with J.R. He's bringing him home.

Babe: Oh, thank goodness he's feeling good enough to come home.

Krystal: Well, grand-size concussion, I'm not sure how he's feeling, but he'll perk up when he sees you -- as long as you spare him the details of your overnighter.

Babe: Aren't we through with that whole "lying for the greater good" thing? No.

Krystal: You don't have to lie, ok? Just don't get into the nitty-gritty, ok? J.R. has been through hell. It'd be nice if you saved him another trip. Last thing he needs to hear is that while he was being knocked unconscious by your daddy, that you and Josh were out playing pajama party.

J.R.: There's no way my mother's doing time for a crime that she didn't commit.

David: Blood and fibers don't lie, kid. People do. You need to grow up, Junior. Mommy did a bad, bad thing.

Dixie: It's not worth it.

J.R.: You should let me deck him.

Adam: J.R., as much as Hayward deserves whatever he's got coming to him, you better keep your distance. You're fresh off an attempted-murder charge. Now, I understand that there's a dartboard at the DA's office with your name on it and your picture right there; so, you so much as hiccup at Hayward, they're going to jump all over themselves to press charges.

J.R.: So I stand here while he trashes her life? She goes down for his crime?

Dixie: Look, I'm not going down for anything, all right? You should listen to your father. You can't go after David again.

J.R.: I won't let you go to prison.

Adam: Hey, your mother's extremely capable of getting out of all kinds of trouble no matter how big a mess she gets herself into. Come on. Let's get out of here.

Dixie: Yeah. I think you should go, all right? I'm very proud of you. I will see you later. Ok. Kiss the baby for me. I'll come visit very soon.

J.R.: All right.

Dixie: Ok.

Tad: You don't like me interfering? Mixing things up? Wow, it must feel like déjà vu for you. You remember my friend Maria Grey? You remember rolling into town, destroying her marriage? And then after Edmund was murdered, you screwed up the investigation for your own selfish reasons. And when there was nothing left of the Greys to mess with, you moved on to the Laverys. Oh, you were a big help with Jonathan. And let's not forget your blackout scheme -- that was a little fresh hell for everybody. And now, just my luck, you've decided to move on to Dixie, point her in all the wrong directions, and the one person that could take me to my daughter is dead.

Zach: Dixie and I didn't kill Madden.

Tad: Yeah. That's right. You have an alibi -- you and Dixie were getting busy. Well, while I don't doubt you're not lacking for any sheet time, I know for a fact you weren't in any motel room the night that Madden was buried alive.

Babe: No pajamas, no party. Josh and I worked. We closed a major deal, not that you would care.

Krystal: Same deal Josh is interested in?

Babe: I'm so not going to do this with you right now, Mama. I want to go see my son.

Krystal: Just please tell me you had separate rooms.

Colby: Hmm. When'd you get home?

Babe: Hmm. Didn't you get an earful?

Colby: Why do you have to be like that? I was just going to get some breakfast.

Babe: Hmm.

Colby: J.R., cracked skull? He could've died. You must be crazed. Is he all right?

Krystal: You'll find out for yourself. Your daddy's bringing him home right now.

Colby: Ok. We'll take care of him together. I'll fluff his pillows, read to him, feed him chipped ice. I saw that in a movie.

Krystal: He has a concussion, but he can eat solid foods.

Colby: Sorry. I was just trying to help.

Krystal: Well, then stop sucking up and say what you want.

Colby: Nothing. I was just going to get some breakfast. God, you two need to chill out. Oh, did any packages come this morning?

Krystal: Oh, you mean one about this big with a little hankie about this big inside?

Colby: Yeah. That's my dress. Where is it?

Krystal: It's on its way back to the overpriced store that sent it.

Colby: What? Krystal, you can't do that. That was mine. It was addressed to me.

Krystal: Dial it down.

Colby: No, you just need to get a clue. Just because my dad sleeps with you doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.

Babe: No, you need to get a clue and shut your little mouth and never disrespect my mama ever again.

Colby: You know, that's not fair. Dad said I could get a dress.

Babe: Really? Well, you and your dress drama rate about zero right now. Your dad is bringing your brother home from the hospital, so don't you think that's a little bit more important than what you're going to wear to some stupid party?

Colby: It's not stupid.

Babe: Oh, my God.

Colby: Whoo. You really did get the crud kicked out of you.

J.R.: It's ok. I'm not going to disintegrate.

Babe: I'm so glad you're ok.

J.R.: Me? You. Didn't you get my messages, your mom's? Where were you?

Josh: One of the best nights of my life, me and Babe. Want the details?

Erica: No.

Josh: Babe really gets to you, doesn't she? How many times did you wave me off her? You even threatened to fire me from "New Beginnings" just for talking to her.

Era: I know what damage Babe can do.

Josh: "Damage"? You really want to go there? You know something? Babe accepts me. She's never lied to me. She's never tried to play me. She's taught me what a real bond is, built on a real connection and real feelings -- not blood, not guilt.

Erica: I used to do this to my mother -- your grandmother. She'd want to talk, I would just want her gone, and so I would press every single button, twice if I had to, until she'd finally just blow up and leave.

Josh: Yeah, well, spare me the whole "we're so much alike" crap.

Erica: I know you don't want to hear it, but we are, in many ways.

Josh: Except when it comes to appreciating Babe.

Erica: Look, I know I'm in no position to suggest who you spend your time with or to tell you how to live your life. I just want be part of it, on any terms you want. So, how about some breakfast?

Josh: Go ahead.

Erica: Oh, no, I have one.

Josh: No, that's all right. Taste mine in case you poisoned it.

Kendall: He seems so normal.

Ryan: Ah, he is normal. I mean, there's nothing wrong with him. He just -- you know, he slept through the night. Eventually, babies sleep through the night and eventually they get big and they learn how to walk and then talk, and then they learn how to talk back and then eventually they sneak the car out while their parents are asleep.

Kendall: Stop it, stop it. I haven't even dealt with teething yet.

Ryan: He just -- he slept through the night, that's all I'm saying. He slept -- which is good news, because then his parents can sleep through the night, and when was the last time you did that?

Kendall: Hmm, sweet boy. Well, yeah. I'm an idiot.

Ryan: You're a mom.

Kendall: If you hadn't been here to talk me down, I -- I don't know what I would've done. Thanks again for spending the night.

Ryan: It was very productive, right? Because by now, I'm sure Derek’s man has delivered the news to Derek -- the scorned Mrs. Slater has slept with the incredibly hot Mr. Lavery to get back at her cheating husband.

[Spike fusses]

Kendall: Oh, goodness.

Ryan: Hey.

Kendall: I totally forgot.

[Spike cries]

Ryan: Must be losing my touch.

Kendall: No. No, no, no, no. My Spikey.

Ryan: Shh.

Kendall: No, I mean, I'm so worried about little Spike that I -- I completely forgot about everything. Everything went out of my head right now. It was complete and total terror and fear, like the -- the cold sweats, the heart-pounding kind of fear, and I've never, ever felt anything like that.

Ryan: Because of the way you love this guy, it's a whole new ball game. What is it? What's wrong?

Kendall: I just love Spike so much. I -- I can't imagine life without him. I'm so happy we have him, Ryan.

Ryan: So am I.

David: Great. Are you the one who paged me? What? You want me to play nice with your little boy?

Dixie: I want to talk about you and me.

David: You and me?

Dixie: I'm sorry, David.                                   

Tad: I got to admit, it would've been a perfect ending if Hayward had buried Madden, but then again, we can't always get what we want, can we?

Zach: Yeah. And what do you want, hmm? How far would you go? Would you plant evidence, fingerprints, blood, some fibers? Would you give the police what they need to charge us?

Tad: I don't have to give the police anything. I don't have to do anything. I don't have to fabricate anything. Because the simple truth is you did it. You're the one that buried Madden alive in that park. I saw you.

Kendall: Sorry.

Ryan: Sorry for what?

Kendall: Well, our baby woke up, everything's fine, normal, and I freaked out and made a scene over nothing.

Ryan: Ah. Come on, you -- you know, you're a working mom. You're bound to sort of lose it over the littlest thing. It's ok. And I'm going to keep my promise. I want you to know I'm going to help out any way I can, you and Spike.

Kendall: Ok. Changing a diaper is one thing, but faking a fling? Ryan, that's not help, that's sacrifice, and I won't let you do that. You can't just keep giving and giving everything and getting nothing in return.

Ryan: Hello? Have you not seen the way Spike looks at me? I mean, like, it's -- ah, like he knows, you know what I mean?

Kendall: Yeah.

Ryan: He's like, "There's my dad. It's the man who's going to take care of me," right? Look, he's doing it right now. See?

Kendall: Hmm. Yeah.

Ryan: That's all I need. Honestly, I wouldn't change a single thing, not even the freaky mommy moments.

Kendall: "Freaky mommy moments," spit-up, and drool. There is a lot more to life than that, Ryan. And I happen to know you are a very passionate guy, so you must want something more.

Tad: I don't care if you got a flashy alibi. I don't care if the media is eating it up. It's a lie. I went to the airport that night to look for Madden. When I couldn't find him, on my way back to the parking lot, what do I see but you and Dixie putting something in the trunk of her car -- something big, bulky. It needed both of you to do it, four hands. You were so busy you never even saw me. Now I know what required so much of your attention -- Madden’s unconscious body.

Dixie: I don't blame you if you can't accept my apology.

David: I put your son in the hospital, and you're apologizing to me? I don't think I want to play this game.

Dixie: Look, I don't like that you hit my kid. But I said horrible things to you, things that I didn't mean.

David: All right, look, if this is your way of making nice, because I didn't press charges against Junior, you're welcome. Now, good-bye.

Dixie: And you have been so committed to helping me find my daughter. You've been willing to do anything, no matter how extreme, and I know when you want something you take "extreme" to a whole new level.

David: There's no way you're hanging Madden’s murder on me.

Tad: After you two left the airport parking lot I decided to tail you. Unfortunately, I lost you in traffic. So I figured I'd go back to the casino. And on my way by the park, what do I find but Dixie’s car --without you two in it. So I wait and wait and wait, and you never pop out of the bushes. So don't tell me you were busy with a quickie.

Zach: It's your story, not mine.

Tad: Yeah, you're damn right it's my story. When you two finally materialized, I tailed you back to the casino. You went inside, and I checked out Dixie’s trunk. It was empty. That's one hell of a trick, Zach -- making a body disappear? You really had me going, till an act of God gave you away. And that earthquake brought back Madden from where you stashed him -- very dead.

Josh: Well, you can't blame me, can you, Erica? That CD revealed all kinds of interesting secrets, including how you poisoned the man I thought was my dad? You tried to kill him. Makes a guy jumpy.

Erica: Josh --

Josh: Doesn't smell lethal.

Erica: Josh, this is ridiculous. I would never try to hurt you.

Josh: Don't even go there. You know that day on the set? If I hadn't been there to resuscitate my so-called dad, he would've died, and your little secret would've been safe.

Erica: You need to talk about your father. Is -- is that what this is all about?

Josh: I'm tired, and I want you to leave. You're really going to push this, aren't you?

Erica: Well, you can't scare me off.

Josh: You know, I had a hunch, Erica. That's why I tested my so-called dad's blood. And he swore he self-medicated, swore to protect you -- crazy little thing called irony.

Erica: David Hayward confirmed to the police that Greg had self-medicated.

Josh: David Hayward to the rescue. Lucky for you. Even luckier that Dixie Martin had a bigger, badder rage-on for Greg. Because if she hadn't had so many friends to help her look for her little missing daughter, I would've swore you were the one that put him six feet under.

Zach: Hmm.

Tad: How'd you do it? Huh? I mean I got to admit it's something else. In a matter of hours you get a coffin, you put him in it while he's unconscious, and you bury him in a public park, and nobody's the wiser. Huh. I don't know how you could do it with just Dixie. Or did you have some of your, you know, hired insects help you out? I've never been your biggest fan, but I got to admit this was an act of genius. You put him in that box, you scare the hell out of him, he gives up Kate’s whereabouts. I mean, it was brilliant, almost perfect, except for the fact that it didn't work. After all, he is dead.

Zach: I didn't know how much you hated Dixie until just now.

Tad: You don't know anything about how I feel about Dixie. This isn't about hate. I wish to God you never met her, I wish to God I didn't see what I saw, but I know what I know. She's J.R.’s mother. She's the mother of my daughter. Do you really think I want to be the one to put her in prison?

J.R.: So you took on Zarf the wild man?

Babe: Totally certifiable. We had to meet right then, right there, otherwise no music, no deal, no music for the campaign.

Adam: Who's Zarf?

Colby: Daddy, don't be so lame. What else happened, Babe?

Babe: Well, Colby, Zarf did my astrological chart to make sure we were compatible. Oh, and he made me do these nasty, nasty shooters.

Krystal: You did shots with Zarf?

Babe: That's why I had to stay the night.

Colby: Whoa, Babe. Just how far did you go for this deal?

Babe: Obviously one shot too many, Colby. Too tipsy to drive, but Zarf was cool enough to offer up a room.

Adam: Well, it's hardly professional to -- to get drunk during business negotiations.

J.R.: Dad?

Adam: What?

J.R.: Tokyo? The Santori acquisition? It's amazing what a quart of sake and karaoke can do for business negotiations.

[Babe laughs]

Adam: Come on, that was -- different.

J.R.: You got the deal. So did Babe. I just wish I knew where you were.

Babe: I left you messages.

J.R.: Well, I must've dropped my phone when David came at me. It's probably still in my mom's room. But we called you from the hospital. Why didn't you pick up?

Babe: Oh, I -- I drowned my phone.

Colby: How'd that happen?

Babe: I -- I threw myself in the shower to sober up. But forget about my phone.

Krystal: You thought a shower was the best way to go?

Babe: Look at your poor head, your face, sweetie.

J.R.: It looks worse than it feels, believe me.

Babe: Hmm. What got into David to make him do this to you?

J.R.: Well, you know, the usual crud. I am just glad that you're home, and I'm so proud of you. You totally scored on your trip.

Ryan: I have all the passion that I need right here. Seriously. Knee-deep in parenthood -- this is exactly where I need to be.

Kendall: Are you sure you're not just saying that to be nice?

Ryan: I can't even tear myself away. Haven't you noticed? And by the way, I'm playing hooky today. I want you to know that. Seriously, right here. I'm -- I'm right here. I mean, the office will be fine for a couple hours, because Spike and I, we have plans. We're going to the park, and we're going to cruise all those, you know, baby hotties?

Kendall: Hmm. Hmm.

Ryan: What do you say? You in?

Kendall: Hmm. Just try to stop me. Come on, let's get this party started!

Ryan: Yeah!

Kendall: Yeah!

[Music plays]

Singer: When you are around me, oh, I can hear a million symphonies. You make me feel so free. You're everywhere I want to be. Thinking 'bout you every day, and I have to say, I can't seem to get you out of my mind

Singers: Be my baby, be my baby

Singer: I'll find a way. I know I'll make you mine

Singers: Be my baby, be my baby

Singer: I'd really, really love to be your baby

Ryan: Ah! Spike!

Kendall: Thank you so much, my son!

Ryan: Wow!

[Music ends]

Babe: Stop --

Adam: Oh, somebody's asking for his mommy and daddy.

Krystal: Oh.

Babe: Come here!

J.R.: Hey, little man!

Babe: I missed you so much!

J.R.: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

Little Adam: It's this one.

Babe: I see that. You see that, how that sticker's on your glove? You see this on Daddy’s head right here? You see that? It's because -- remember that time when you fell down you had that boo-boo on your knee? That's the same type of owie that Daddy has, but he's going to be just fine.

J.R.: Yes, I will. I'm going to be great.

Babe: Because Mommy’s going to take care of him, ok? My boys.

Krystal: How about we take our grandbaby to the park like we promised, huh?

Adam: Hmm.

Krystal: Hey, hey -- double scoop, extra sprinkles? What about it? Huh?

[J.R. and Babe gasp]

J.R.: Ice cream!

Krystal: You, too, ok?

Babe: Ice cream in the park -- what fun.

Krystal: Come here, let's go to the park.

Adam: Remember what the doctor said -- no -- uh -- strenuous activity.

Babe: Oh.

J.R.: I'll try to control myself.

Babe: Mmm.

Adam: Sweetheart, Colby, why don't you come with us? A nice stroll in the park?

Colby: I can't stroll, I can't even think. I can hardly breathe.

Adam: What's wrong?

Colby: It's about my party and my dress. Krystal is being so unfair.

Krystal: You can tell your daddy all about that when we get back. In fact, I have a few things to say on the subject myself.

[Colby sighs]

Adam: Uh -- we won't be long. Hmm?

Babe: Is there anything you need? Anything I can make you?

J.R.: Oh, no, everything I need is right here. I just don't want to be apart from you ever again, not even for one night.

[J.R. and Babe kiss.]

David: I've done some pretty stupid things for you, Dixie. Killing Madden? Not one of them. Taking the rap for his death? That is definitely not going to happen.

Dixie: Ok. All right. You know, I don't want anybody to go to prison for Madden’s death, trust me. But his murder is not the point here. I know ever since I came back to town that, you know, you had some hopes for us.

David: You let me think that I had a chance. You led me on, used me.

Dixie: I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry for so many things that I've done. And if you could forgive me -- if somehow or other you and I could get some kind of friendship back, it would mean so much to me. I mean, come on, your daughter is married to my son, they have a child together. If -- no, for them, if not for anything else. Please, there's been too much pain. Let's end it.

Zach: You're lying.

Tad: Come on, Zach. You're better than that.

Zach: Yeah? You hate Dixie. You can't have her, you can't control her, so you're going to take her down.

Tad: That's the last thing I want.

Zach: That is exactly what you want. Dixie's right -- Kate’s better off with a stranger, because no child should suffer a parent like you.

Josh: Got to warn you, I'm not up on resuscitating foliage. But the day I resuscitated Greg, you couldn't keep your eyes off us. Impressed with my skill, my ability to bring someone back to life, or were you just ticked that I saved someone you wanted dead?

Erica: Josh, I would never poison you.

Josh: You didn't want me to live, either. Buy all the breakfasts you want, barge in wherever you're not wanted, refuse to leave. But you don't get a beginning with someone you tried to terminate.

Erica: Josh, please, if we –

[After Erica walks into the hall, Josh slams the door in her face.]

Babe: Let me take you upstairs, put you to bed.

J.R.: Uh-uh-uh-uh. Be gentle -- doctor's orders.

Babe: Hmm.

[Babe and J.R. chuckle]

Colby: It's totally awesome you and Josh got to hang out with Zarf. Did you get any autographs? Did he play any new tunes from his new CD?

J.R.: Josh wasn't there.

Colby: I must've heard wrong. I could've sworn I heard Babe tell Krystal that Babe spent the night with Josh.

Kendall: Ok, you know what? Spike definitely has your sense of humor.

Ryan: Yeah, he does. You're right. He's also got my aim. Here.

Kendall: Nice.

Ryan: You use it.

Kendall: Thanks. Ooh.

Ryan: Hmm.

[Phone rings]

Kendall: Oh.

Ryan: Ah.

Kendall: Ahem.

Ryan: It's the office. Hey, it's Ryan. Oh, you got to be kidding me. All right -- um -- ok, I'll handle it.

[Ryan sighs]

Ryan: So much for playing hooky.

Kendall: Hmm. Go. They need you.

Ryan: Yeah. I'd rather stay. You know that.

Kendall: Yeah.

Ryan: I got to go. I'll see you. Ok, big guy?

Kendall: Ryan? Thank you for everything. I will never forget what you've done for me, for us, and Zach will never forget, either.

Ryan: Well, it's not going to last forever, Kendall. You know that, right? I mean, Zach’s going to get off, and everything will be the way it's supposed to be, the way it was -- even better.

Tad: Don't you ever mention my daughter --

Zach: Let me give you some advice. Leave it alone, and stay away from Dixie.

Tad: What if I don't? What are you going to do? You going to make me disappear? You going to bury me alive?

[Derek walks in.]

David: I don't want to hate you, Dixie. I do care about you, I really do, and that is never going to change. So if you want to find some kind of friendship together --

Dixie: That's great. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.

David: It means a lot to me, too.

Dixie: Ok.

[After Dixie walks away, David talks to himself.]

David: Wow. That was some performance, Dixie -- almost as good as mine. Greg took little Kate away from you. I'll make sure you never get her back.

Tad: What the hell is this? Doesn't anybody knock in this town?

Derek: This is police business.

Tad: No. This is between me and Zach.

Derek: Not anymore. We had your house bugged. You gave us everything we needed, Tad. When this goes to trial, you'll be the chief witness for the prosecution.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Babe (to J.R.): Are you accusing me of hiding something?

J.R.: Yes, I guess I am.

Tad (to Derek): If you go through with this, and the DA puts me on the stand, it's going to look really bad for everybody involved. You know what I mean?

Zach (to Kendall): Dixie's coffin and my coffin have just been nailed.

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