AMC Transcript Tuesday 8/15/06

All My Children Transcript Tuesday 8/15/06

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Proofread by Gisele

[Music plays as a wild party rages with scantily-clad young people running around Erica’s house.]

Erica: Ok, that's it! Stop it!

[Music stops]

[Partygoers groan]

Erica: Whoever you kids are, you get the hell out of my house!

[Laughter]

Boy: Hey, Aunt Erica. Welcome home.

Jonathan: I'm better now, but it's not because of any blow to the head. It's because of you. You. Lily, you made me want to be a better person. You made me see that I can have a better life, this life that's full of happiness and understanding. I still understand you. It's never, ever changed. I still love you. I still want a life with you. I need you now as much as I ever did. Lily? Lily, please, can you forgive me? Please, Lily, can you give our marriage a chance?

Lily: No, I don't understand. We were best friends. We matched. How can we match if we're not the same anymore?

Jonathan: We can still help each other, like we always have.

Lily: No, I used to help you with things that you didn't understand, and now you can understand them. You can do them without me, you don't need me anymore.

Jonathan: No, Lily, that's not true.

Lily: My dad was right, I'm incompetent.

Jonathan: No. Please, Lily, don't say that, ok? That's definitely not true.

Lily: You fooled me, Jonathan, just like Terry did in New York. You said that you loved me, but you were lying. I read your face all wrong.

TV announcer: Who knows how long Mr. Slater and Ms. Cooney have been having the alleged affair, but it will definitely make their murder case the trial of the year. To think, the casino boss' wife, Kendall Hart Slater, came out of her almost-fatal coma for this.

Erin: This will kill Kendall.

TV announcer: Ms. Cooney has been a resident of Mr. Slater's casino hotel for sometime now. That is where they were spotted --

Babe: Somebody has a cruddy sense of humor.

Simone: Yeah, you know what? It was just a gag mockup that we did for an ad sampling.

Babe: About as funny as the mockup poster you made of me.

Danielle: I still like that one.

Babe: Kendall, are you ok?

TV announcer: I sure wouldn't want to be there when Zach Slater tries to explain this to his wife.

Zach: You're falling for me? Uh -- I --

Dixie: Zach, wait. Just so you understand, I'm telling you this so you understand why I'm skeptical that Kendall would be willing to play the cheated-on wife, even if it was to give you an alibi.

Zach: She didn't say anything to me.

Dixie: Well, she came here, and she asked me if I was falling in love with you. I felt like I owed her, so I said, "What if I am?"

Zach: Ok. Look, Dixie, I'm --

Dixie: You don't have to say anything, ok? Really. Really. It's ok, really. Please don't. I have laid awake at night saying to myself everything that you are probably thinking right now, right? Maybe this is just crisis-bonding. You know, maybe I'm just too stressed to know what I'm feeling or thinking. Maybe we just spent too much time together. Or maybe you're just the one person who's never judged me or let me down, unlike everybody else.

Zach: I'm in no position to judge anybody, so I'm --

Dixie: Yeah, I know. And there you go again. You're just the one person in the world who knows that you can make a mistake and not ruin your life.

Zach: Well, caring about me, that's a mistake. I have witnesses.

Dixie: I don't think so. Kendall loves you. So maybe in another world, then, without Kendall. But you love your wife, ok? I know that.

Zach: More than anything.

Dixie: Of course. And that's what probably makes you more attractive.

Zach: I don't -- but you know what? Maybe if you feel whatever, then we shouldn't do this thing.

Dixie: We kind of -- kind of have to, right? I mean, we need an alibi.

Zach: Yeah, but I don't want to take advantage.

Dixie: That's ok. We can think of it as taking advantage of each other. Right? I mean, what are the options? A fake affair with a guy that I'm crazy about or going to prison for the rest of my life? Not exactly a tossup, is it? What choice do we have?

Boy: Don't you remember me, Erica? Your nephew?

Erica: I don't have a nephew.

Boy: Sure you do. Bianca's half brother, Sean Montgomery?

Erica: You're Barbara’s son?

Sean: Now we're talking. Mom sends a big "Hi," by the way.

Erica: Did Barbara send you?

Boy: Dude, your aunt's a hottie. Can you hook me up?

Erica: Don't even try.

Sydney: Ms. Kane, would you autograph this for me?

Erica: Hey! This is my one-of-a-kind etching you're -- is this my lipstick?

Sydney: Yeah. Sorry, I couldn't find a pen. Awesome color. Oh, my gosh, and kick-ass tub you got in that bathroom. By the way, how many people do you think we could fit in there? We were thinking, like, six. Ok, maybe eight.

Colby: Excuse me, I'm sorry, Erica. She's new and a little slow.

Sydney: Who you calling slow, Colby?

Colby: I'm Colby Chandler.

Erica: Colby? Well, what is Adam Chandler’s underage daughter doing drinking in my living room? What are any of you doing here?

Colby: I got a text message! Pool party, hot guys -- I'm here. This sidekick wannabe followed me.

Sean: We got tons of beer.

Erica: Ok, this party is officially over. Colby, it's time for you to round up all your friends and get them out of here. Don't make me call your father, Colby.

Sydney: Uh-oh. Daddy's going to be one ticked-off old man.

Erica: Yes, thank you.

Colby: Can it, maid-to-order!

Erica: Maybe I should just call 911.

Boy: Dudes, let's go! I smell bacon.

Second boy: Let's get out of here, bud.

Third boy: Thanks a bunch.

Colby: Call me.

Erica: Jack didn't tell me that you were coming to visit.

Sean: Uncle Jack doesn't know.

[Jack listens from outside the room.]

Jonathan: My brain may be better, but you fixed me on the inside. Lily, I wouldn't -- before my surgery, what my father did to me? There was this enormous, this empty, this hole inside of my heart, and I tried to fill it in with a lot of things. And it -- a lot of them weren't good. I hurt a lot of people. But you, Lily, you -- you did what drugs couldn't do, what therapy, what the surgery, even my family. Lily, you filled in that hole in my heart. The way that I feel about us when we're together is more real than anything in my entire life.

Lily: But I don't feel real, because you aren't real. The way we were wasn't true.

Jonathan: Oh, Lily, no, my -- my love for you is real. That's never changed. I'm your best friend.

Lily: No, you made yourself less to be like me.

Jonathan: No. No, Lily, who said anything about you being less?

Lily: You held yourself back so that we would match. That makes me feel bad, like I did something wrong.

Jonathan: Stop. Oh, please stop. You didn't do anything wrong. Lily, you're perfect. You're more than perfect.

Lily: There's no such thing.

Jonathan: Ok, Lily, you're just right. And I still want to be with you. We can still be happy, if you just give me a chance to show you that we can do this.

Lily: No. No, I can't! I can't, Jonathan! Everything's been wrecked!

Jonathan: Lily -- Lily? Please --

Jack: Whoa, honey, hey --

Lily: Dad, you were right. We're not a match, we can't be. Dad, please take me home, please!

Jack: Ok, ok.

Jonathan: Lily --

Jack: Don't, don't. We had a deal, Jonathan. It is over -- over. Come on, sweetheart, let's go. Let's go.

Kendall: What the hell was that?

Babe: It's just some tacky gossip show, ignore it.

Simone: Speaking from experience, Babe?

Babe: Maybe it's not what it looked like.

Danielle: It doesn't look good.

Babe: You know, they do make up stuff all the time.

Simone: Are you kidding me? It's pretty much impossible to computer-crop someone's tongue down your throat. And Dixie? I mean, here he is supposed to be helping her the entire time? I mean, more like helping himself --

Babe: Ok, thank you. Simone, thank you for letting us all know just how horrible this is.

Simone: Well --

Danielle: Who do we know that can kick his ass?

Kendall: It isn't true. It can't be.

David: Oh, but it is.

Ryan: You laid it all out there. You put Lily first, even though it cost you, and I respect that, all right? You're a good man. I admire that.

Erin: We know how much you love her. Come on, let's go home.

Jonathan: I just want to be alone, thanks. Hey, relax, guys, ok? I'm not going to do anything stupid. I just want to sit here and miss her right now, ok?

Ryan: Ok, I'll tell you what -- I'm going to go check in on Kendall, all right? But I want you to check in with me.

Jonathan: Ryan, I'll call you later, ok? Thank you both. You can go now. I'll be fine.

[Door opens]

Jonathan: Guys, I said I want to be alone right now, ok?

Amanda: I'm not leaving.

Erica: No one thought to call your Uncle Jack to find out if this would be a good time for a visit?

Sean: Mom probably thought I'd call him.

Erica: Yeah, Barbara and her fabulous parenting skills.

Sean: She went to Europe with some new guy, and my big sister Molly's doing some summer internship in Tokyo.

Erica: Barbara went to Europe with a new guy?

Sean: She said maybe I should go visit Uncle Jack. Here I am.

Erica: Yeah, we're so honored. I always enjoy kids trashing my living room on a summer afternoon.

Sean: Anytime.

Erica: You're going to keep cleaning up, right?

Sean: Yeah, no problem. Man, wasting a good drink -- not cool. Yeah, you really do look great, Aunt Erica.

Erica: Well, thank you. Look, I'm sure your mother would like to know -- well, I would imagine that your mother would like to know that you got here safely, so I'll call her. What's her number?

Sean: Oh, no, here. The number's in my phone, use mine. She's paying the bill, anyway. I'll just go dump my stuff somewhere.

David: How are you doing, darling? I'm so happy to see you safe. I could've killed Josh Madden.

Babe: I'm fine. What do you know about Zach and Dixie?

David: I just left the two of them in Dixie’s room at the casino.

Danielle: Ouch.

David: Or should I say, "The room Slater gave to her so they can shack up"?

Kendall: You don't know that.

David: Yes, I do, Kendall. I would rather have had my eyes gouged out with a butter knife than see it firsthand. So now the world sees, too.

Babe: Wait, you took that picture?

David: Yes, I did, Babe, with my trusty, little camera phone.

Babe: Why would you do that?

David: I thought it was important for the world to see what Slater’s been up to. And I also did it in part for you.

Babe: For me? What does this have to do with me?

David: You don't get it? Exposing those two lovebirds proves to you that J.R. is innocent.

Babe: Since when do you care about J.R.?

David: I don’t. I care about you. And since you're determined to be with him, it's important for him to be there to provide for you.

Babe: And guess what -- I've always known that he was innocent. And why would you do something like messing with people's lives? What about Kendall?

Kendall: I have to find Zach.

David: Wait a minute. You deserve to know the truth more than anyone. Look at you -- the beautiful, devoted wife, almost killed, all that time in a coma. You just gave birth to a beautiful little boy. We've been played for fools, Kendall, you and I. Our hearts strung along, while the police are harassing us, and all the while they're sneaking around, killing and thrilling behind everyone's backs.

Kendall: You know what? I can't listen to this.

David: It's going to be over soon enough, Kendall. There's not a chump alive that would believe that they're innocent now.

Ryan: Really? How about this chump right here -- me? Come on, Kendall, let's go. The last person you need right now is Hayward.

David: That's a great idea, Kendall, run off with Ryan! Serve up a little revenge of your own with your baby's daddy!

Ryan: Don't make me hurt you, David, although I would really enjoy that.

Reporter: Ms. Hart --

Ryan: Whoa!

Reporter: Does your husband's betrayal mean the end of your marriage?

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, no comment. She's not answering any questions. What is this?

Kendall: No, listen. Actually, I do want to answer some questions. You want to find out about my marriage? Come on with me, guys, we'll find out together. Come on. It's going to be good.

Erica: Ok, Barbara. Look, you sent your son to Jack’s and my house, now you can send him a ticket home.

[Door opens]

Erica: Oh, Jack. Jack, you need to get on this phone right away. Lily, what's the matter? What happened at the hearing?

Lily: What did you do to the house?

Erica: Yeah. Well, don't worry, honey. Don't worry --

Lily: You took me from a nice penthouse to this? Everything is out of place! The couch legs aren't lined up. The legs are all wrong.

Jack: Sweetheart, listen, I don't know how this happened, but we'll fix it immediately, believe me.

Lily: How could I live here? I hate this!

Erica: Yeah, I hate it, too, Lily, believe me. I'm with you, honey. But it's ok, it's temporary. Your dad had guests, but they're gone, so don't worry. We're going to fix it. We're going to put everything back the way it was, I promise.

Lily: Well, you can't put everything back. Some things are broken, they can't come back.

Erica: I take it you won in court.

Jack: Actually, I withdrew the petition. Jonathan then admitted to Lily --

Lily: Don't talk about Jonathan!

Jack: Been lying about his condition. Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. Do you think I would've gone through with this if I didn't think it was something that had to be done?

[Lily screams]

Jonathan: You don't want to hang with me right now.

Amanda: You're hurt, and you need a friend.

Jonathan: I just need to be alone, thank you.

Amanda: I can't do it. I'm sorry. Hey, talk to me.

Jonathan: I should've known this was going to happen, that Lily would get hurt worse in the end. This is why I faked it originally. I -- I lied and pretended to be slow to be happy. I was happy. So was Lily. I mean, for the first time in her entire life, with me, she felt normal. And I never expected to feel normal again after the things I'd done. I knew that I was worth something, because Lily loved me, because she trusted me. She brought me back from all those -- all those dark places. I mean, she helped make me what I've always wanted to be. Now, I needed Lily as much as Lily needed me. Now, how -- how can I be good without Lily? And how is Lily going to get along without me?

Lily: Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away! Go away!

Sean: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

Lily: Go away. Go away.

Sean: Here --

Lily: Go away. Go away.

Sean: Here, let me help you up.

Lily: Go away! Go away! Go away!

Jack: Stop it. Don't touch her.

Lily: Go away.

Colby: God, you didn't belong at the party. Anyone could see that. I mean, don't you have some of my sheets to iron?

Sydney: God, what's the hurry? Man, that was a fun party. Some cute guys, good music, and no parents. [British accent] Not bad at all.

Colby: You know, it's a shame you'll get booted from the next one.

Sydney: [Normal voice] Hmm, keep telling yourself that. Hey, did you notice that guy whose house that was at -- Sean?

Colby: Of course. That's the coolest guy anywhere, and I have been looking coast to coast all summer. Did you take a picture of him?

Sydney: Yeah. It's my wallpaper. Check it out.

Colby: Pathetic.

Sydney: And what are you doing? What, are you sending it to your phone? Pathetic, huh? Anyway, I'm all over that.

Colby: Uh, no way.

Sydney: He's a hottie, and he's loaded -- all mine because I saw him first.

Colby: You know, call the "wha ambulance" and quit whining. A guy like that wants a woman of adventure, mystery, the kind of girl who finds dead bodies in flower beds.

Sydney: Dead guys. Yeah, honey, that makes you a keeper.

Colby: Hello? It makes me memorable and exotic.

Sydney: Oh. The only thing you do to make yourself memorable is you make yourself easy.

Colby: Well, whatever works. And now that my brother's mom has been arrested for the killing that I found in the park -- whoo, jackpot! Headlines, paparazzi, interviews. And what's Sean supposed to do? Tell his aunt, the famous Erica Kane, that he's dating a maid? Yeah, I don't think so, sweetie. You better keep that picture because it's as close as you're going to get.

Dixie: Please don't worry about me. Look, think about Kendall and the little boy and all the people that need you.

Zach: And you think we can handle this?

Dixie: Well, I think we have to. They have all this evidence -- blood and fingerprints, all this stuff that puts us at the scene of the crime, unless we were definitely someplace else. Without this little fairy tale, what are the odds we avoid a trial?

Zach: Not good.

Dixie: Right. So would you, for once, stop thinking about my best interests? Because I know what my best interests are -- they are to stay out of prison so that I can find my daughter. I know what the score is. So why don't you be the arrogant jerk everybody thinks you are and take how I feel as a compliment, which it is, and don't worry about it, ok? I can have my feelings without having to act on them.

Zach: So we can do this, whatever it takes?

Dixie: Yeah. And that's it, it doesn't go any further.

Zach: I'm sorry.

Dixie: Oh, God, please don't be.

Zach: Believe me, it's not worth it. I'm not worth it.

Dixie: Yeah, please. You know what? You actually probably are. Because for someone as selfish as Kendall, knowing how I feel, to actually go through with this -- you got to be pretty amazing. I give her credit.

[Knock on door]

Dixie: Oh.

Kendall: You should have stayed dead!

[While the camera crew tapes the proceedings, Kendall pushes Dixie then slaps her hard.]

Kendall: Couldn't decide between your loser ex-boyfriend or your loser ex-husband, so you go after my husband instead?

Ryan: Kendall, this isn't the place.

Kendall: Shut up, Ryan.

Zach: What's the matter with you?

Kendall: What's the matter with me? Well, I saw your tonsil hockey on TV. Thank you so much, that was lovely. I just about lost my lunch.

Dixie: What did you see on TV?

Kendall: Are you getting this pathetic reaction on tape? My God, this is wonderful. Come on, Dixie! We all know you've been going after Zach since you first came back to town. "Help me, Zach, help me. Please help me take off my pants."

Ryan: Ok. You made your point, Kendall.

Dixie: Look, I didn't do anything.

Kendall: You're denying it? She's actually denying this. You are more stupid than you look. Everyone's already seen it on TV. And obviously what they say about you is still true -- you are helpless after all these years.

Zach: I think that's enough.

Kendall: You don't even try to defend her. You are great at throwing yourself at some man to save you, no matter what it does to his family or your own. No wonder they don't want you anymore.

Ryan: Stop, Kendall.

Kendall: No, I'm not going to stop. I'm just getting warmed up. Now, your son almost killed me, and you're with my husband now? You're trying to steal my husband? You are a little whore.

Dixie: You want to talk about stealing husbands? Where's your best friend, Greenlee? Oh, that's right -- you stole her husband to father your child!

Amanda: I know you think it was Lily that made you good.

Jonathan: That's the kind of woman she is.

Amanda: Maybe. Or maybe she just brought out what was already there. She didn't create it. She just allowed you to feel good enough about yourself that you were able to show that side.

Jonathan: Yeah. Hidden deep beneath the tumor.

Amanda: Could be. It's kind of like my mom in a messed-up way. For years I kept thinking it was me that was making her so nuts, because everything she did was for her precious daughter. And if it weren't for me, then everything would be fine -- yada, yada, yada. The truth is my mom had issues way before me. I didn't cause them. She is who she is.

Jonathan: Yeah, well, thanks for the comparison.

Amanda: Maybe it was a bad analogy. But you are who you are, Jonathan, and you were a decent guy before you fell in love with Lily. You're still that guy, even if you are burdened with brains now.

Jonathan: I'm so smart that I -- I hurt Lily. Way to go me. Good job.

Amanda: Hey. Hey. What you did for Lily, what you were willing to do, to sacrifice for the rest of your life for her is the most amazing, romantic thing I've ever seen in my life. It's beautiful. It's the kind of thing that girls spend their entire lives looking for, and I'm sorry that Lily can't see that right now. But maybe she will someday, ok? Maybe you guys will find your way back to each other.

Jonathan: She's never going to listen to a word I say.

Amanda: I believe in you. Maybe I can get Lily to believe, too.

Erica: Say hello to the reason for the devastation downstairs. Your nephew, Sean.

Jack: Sean?

Sean: Whoa, Jack. What's the problem? I didn't do anything. She flipped out on me.

Jack: Lily doesn't like to be touched, and she doesn't like surprises.

Lily: 809 --

Sean: I was looking for the guest room. Guess I picked the wrong closet to toss my bag.

Jack: Yeah, I guess you did. Look, will you just give us a minute here, please, Sean?

Sean: Yeah. Where do you want me to go?

Erica: Home.

Lily: 802 --

Jack: Just throw your gear in Reggie’s room. It's down at the end of the hall. He's traveling with his summer basketball team, ok?

Sean: Good. No worries, then. Yell if you need anything.

Jack: Yeah.

Erica: No, we won't, thank you.

Lily: 794, 793 --

Sean: When Lily calms down, tell her I said she turned out well, if you catch me.

Erica: I told you not to do this, Jack. Look what you've done to your daughter.

Jack: You can thank Jonathan Lavery for this.

Erica: Lily was happier with him than she's ever been in her whole life, and now you've taken that away from her.

Jack: Her happiness was based on lies. Now, Jonathan confessed himself to her, and she reacted just as I knew she would.

Erica: Well, if this is the reaction you were hoping for, Jack, you've lost your mind.

Sydney: Excuse me, but maybe you didn't see the way Sean looked at me.

Colby: Oh, looked past you, maybe, to me.

Sydney: You know what? Sean's older and deeper. Maybe he wants someone who's not all about the bling and the money.

Colby: Who are you kidding? He's, like, 17. All 17-year-old guys care about is having a good time, and I can give him that good time.

Sydney: You know what? Anyone can give you money, but no one can give you class.

Colby: And nobody gave you either. Aw.

Sydney: Colby, I was reading about the looks that celebrity couples gave each other when they just knew it was going to happen, and Sean happened to give me that look.

Colby: Oh. His aunt was married to my father -- twice. So we're meant for each other, practically engaged.

Sydney: No. You're so related you're practically inbred.

Simone: Just because you're miserable and alone doesn't mean everyone else should be.

David: Who said anything about miserable? This is about the truth.

Babe: So the teen line launches soon. I'd really like to make that deadline, wouldn't you? So can we avoid the usual sabotage?

Erin: What sabotage?

David: What, are people giving you a hard time here, Babe? Maybe I can help.

Babe: How? By humiliation on TV?

Simone: Maybe Kendall’s live.

Danielle: This I got to see.

Erin: Oh, this has every shade of ugly written all over it.

[Simone changes channels]

David: I really loved her, Babe. I did more for Dixie than you will ever know. She betrayed me. Maybe you can stand by that kind of betrayal, but I can't.

Babe: Do you think that Dixie and Zach actually did it?

Simone: What, Babe? You afraid your husband's going to go psycho on you again because Mommy’s doing Zach, or are you just happy that Kendall’s a wreck?

Babe: You know what, Simone? How about you shut your freaking mouth for a change? I am not happy that Kendall got hurt, and I am not happy that Dixie is having trouble or that Zach has problems. If it were up to me, we would be done with all of this BS, and we could just get back to our lives. We could come to work, we could have great ideas, share our successes, and go home to awesome personal lives. When are you going to get it? All I want is to live my own life. I have a son to raise, and I have a marriage to work on, and I have a company to run. I am just too busy building a real life to get off on other people's pain like you do, Simone. And only someone as mean as you would think that this would make me happy. But then again, you do get off when I suffer. You know, you don't know me, and thank God that I don't need you for a friend. And I can only hope that you were different before, that maybe it's the grief that's made you so cruel. But don't think that I don't see you trying to trip me up around here -- stealing the projects and deleting files like this is some junior high instead of a company. That's why I had to hire Josh -- so something would actually get done around here. And maybe you don't care if the company fails, because you can just fall back on your cushy trusts. But this means something to me, so I am so through playing your "mean girl" games, and I am through keeping score, Simone. You are. I'm just not sure what you think that prize is.

Kendall: Why don't you get a shot of the man-eating slut in her natural habitat?

Dixie: Well, you know what? Who can blame Zach for wanting a woman of his own? How long were you going to make your own husband share you with another man?

Ryan: Don't go there, Dixie.

Dixie: No, I'm sorry, Ryan, I'm going there. One man lives with you, the other one lives across the courtyard -- isn't that just a little pathetic?

Kendall: Ok, pathetic is your attempt to make it look like I'm doing something wrong here.

Dixie: You want to talk about a whore? Does keeping a spare man around make you feel loved, Kendall, give you all the attention that you didn't get from your mommy?

Kendall: Ok. At least I didn't sink as low as to use my missing child to snare another woman's husband.

Zach: That's enough.

Dixie: No, you use your own son to keep a man around when your husband's busy.

Zach: Both of you, you're done.

Kendall: No, don't touch me. Do not touch me. You are out of my life forever.

Erica: You really expect to take away the man your daughter loves and not lose her?

Jack: She's not lost, Erica, she's upset.

Erica: She was so happy with him. She was functioning so well.

Jack: She was married to a murderer, to a man pretending to be something he was not and trying to con her into believing it.

Erica: Maybe he was lying to her, because he loves her, because he wanted her to feel good about herself.

Jack: Lily will get over this. She will.

Erica: You really think that things are going to go back to being the way they were? Jack, Lily has grown up so much this year. She's experienced love, real love.

Jack: Erica, it never would have lasted. I mean, what happened today would've happened eventually. Isn't it better that she's hurt now instead of devastated later?

Erica: She's devastated now.

Jack: Sure she is, because she just found out what Jonathan Lavery’s been doing to her all this time. She'll get over him the way she got over Aidan, the way she got over Sam. And then she'll find some nice boy, hopefully more her age who is not a homicidal maniac.

Erica: Jack, Lily is not a little girl anymore. Can't you see what you've done to her? Jack, she's suffering a major heartbreak. You broke her heart, Jack. You, the one she could always count on.

Jack: She can always count on me, she will always be able to count on me, Erica. And one day, I truly believe in my heart, she will thank me for this.

Erica: Look, Jack, all I know is that she was not sobbing yesterday. So maybe Jonathan’s way was better for her.

Jack: Well, all I know, Erica, is that if you believe that, you must be crazy.

Erica: Don't push me, Jack, not today. I have had about enough of family life for one day. First Josh goes after me, then you sabotage Lily’s life, and I am not about to play host for your cheeky nephew while Barbara’s off on some European vacation.

Jack: What would you like me to do, Erica?

Erica: I would like you to lose your nephew. Don't you think we have enough going on right now?

Jack: Yes, I believe we do, but he is family.

Erica: Well, I've had enough family. When I get back, I want Sean on a plane to anywhere, anywhere but here.

Jack: Well, I'm not going to send him home to an empty house, so I guess he stays.

Erica: Fine. You're such an expert on dealing with family no matter what happens, you deal with it. I have a show to do.

Jonathan: Lily's completely lost now. She has no one. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Amanda, what have I done?

Lily: Divided by 327 equals 42. 42. 42.

[Lily stops rocking back and forth long enough to remove her wedding ring and throw it aside.]

Colby: Wow! Check this out. Sean is going to love this. My brother's mom who killed that guy, she's totally doing it with the guy that she was married to -- you know, the one married to Erica’s daughter Kendall?

Sydney: Huh. Whoop-dee-doo. Looks like you're related again.

Colby: God, don't you get it? We have lives. You clean up after us. God, my life is dramatic. You just need to sit back and watch from the cheap seats.

Sydney: I still bet I can get him first.

Colby: Bring it.

Danielle: Here's that color chart you were looking for.

Babe: Thank you.

Erin: You still working on the press kit?

Babe: Yeah. I'm -- I'm working on the press release right now.

Erin: Need some help?

Babe: Yeah, thanks.

Simone: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starved. You guys want to get a pizza? My treat.

Babe: Yeah, I -- I could use a slice or two.

Simone: Cool.

Kendall: I am so done with you. I never should've trusted you. This right here -- this was not part of our master plan. Or was you kissing this tramp what -- what's best for me, Zach? Kind of like the black-out?

Zach: Why don't I take you home so you can cool off?

Kendall: No, you know what? I'm going to go home right now and burn everything that you own, right in front of the courtyard for the neighbors to see. I'm also changing the locks. So don't even think about showing up to beg for my forgiveness, because that's never going to happen. And our contracts? Null and void, just like the marriage contract you tossed out when you jumped into her bed. You may as well enjoy shacking up here with your little slut while you can, because you're not going to own this casino for very long. And you will never -- and I repeat -- never come anywhere near my child ever again. Your settlement is you get to keep this stupid little ho.

Dixie: "Stupid little ho"? Why don't you look in the mirror? Why do you think your husband came to see me in the first place?

Kendall: Ok, you know what?

Ryan: Whoa, whoa --

Kendall: Ryan, get me out of here. Get me out of here right now before I kill that little tramp! Get me out of here! I could kill her, Ryan!

[Zach sighs as everyone departs Dixie’s room.]

Dixie: Ok. Was it me or was your wife just a little too convincing?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

J.R. (to Erin): I'm stalking my wife. Play along. Make this act a little more believable.

Jamie: Why are you not working overtime to prove Dixie’s innocence?

Aidan: Because somebody asked me to back off.

Kendall: You're a disgusting, pathetic liar.

Zach: Keep your voice down, it's just us.

Kendall: What makes you think I didn't mean every word?

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