AMC Transcript Thursday 8/10/06

All My Children Transcript Thursday 8/10/06


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Babe: Josh. What are you doing here?

Josh: I -- I had nowhere else to --

Babe: Oh. Didn't go well?

Josh: Should've seen them -- Mama Erica, Papa Jeff. "Can I get you a blanket, something to drink?" They tripped all over themselves. It was a joke.

Babe: Well, it sounds like they made an effort.

Josh: Well, because they had to. I mean, the more they tried to talk to me, convince me how much they care, the more I knew I didn't belong with them, the more I knew I don't belong, period. I should've went down with the plane. Everyone would've been better off.

Babe: Not me.

J.R.: Have you seen my wife? Blonde, beautiful, about this high?

Erin: I mean, it's great that -- that she's ok. Props on the rescue.

J.R.: Oh, yeah, it's great to have her home, except she's not -- she's here. If you could just point me in the direction she is, I'll --

Erin: Yeah, she's -- she's on the roof. J.R. -- uh -- wait. Do you -- would you like a soda? You want coffee, maybe? I think Simone brought in biscotti if you want some.

J.R.: I'm not the first person you'd want to have a snack with. You're stalling. Damn it, she's up there with him, isn't she?

[Erin sighs]

J.R.: Babe's with Josh?

Adam: So Tad the cad is back on the job -- an all-out affair with a married woman. Hmm. It's not Di or Dixie. Your head is where about this?

Krystal: On more important things. Could we change the subject?

Adam: Aren't you the least bit interested?

Krystal: In what Tad does?

Adam: In whom he does.

Krystal: It's his business. Not mine, not yours.

Adam: You're sure about that? You don't have an idea or a clue? Who is this poor wife that Tad is stepping out with?

Krystal: Why are you asking me?

Adam: Hmm. Come on, Krystal. We both know why.

Tad: What's the matter, Zach? Couldn't say it with flowers?

Zach: You got it in for your ex-wife. I get it, Dixie gets it -- half of Pine Valley gets it. You're not going to put her away for murder. I won't let you.

Kendall: I'll tell you "what if" if you'll answer me straight. Are you in love with Zach or not?

Dixie: I could be. What are you going to do about it?

Kendall: I'm not going to do anything, you are. You're going to stay the hell away from my husband.

Dixie: Look, Kendall, my friendship with Zach has nothing to do with you.

Kendall: You want to fight for him? Arm-wrestle? 20 paces? Building supplies -- oh, wait a minute, that's your son's MO. Any way you want it, I will take you out before I let you make goo-goo eyes at my husband one more time.

Dixie: Kendall, as much as I care about Zach, he loves you. He's devoted to you.

Kendall: Ok, so you're so hip to Zach loving me -- why'd you come on to him, throw yourself at him?

Dixie: Did Zach tell you that?

Kendall: No, Tad couldn't shut up about it.

Dixie: Well, Tad should've minded his own business, ok? Zach is a good man, one of the best.

Kendall: Doesn't mean you get to shove your tongue down his throat.

Dixie: I didn’t. It was a kiss, a little kiss, that was it.

Kendall: Then what?

Dixie: Nothing. What is wrong with you? It happened, it's over. Whatever I was thinking, Zach turned me down, ok? Why don't you trust him?

Kendall: I do.

Dixie: Well, then why are you here? Don't you realize when Zach gives his word, that he actually means it? Don't you realize how rare that his, how lucky you are? If you don't, you don't deserve him.

Kendall: Oh, ok, and you do?

Dixie: You push him away --

Kendall: What, you'll come after him?

Dixie: Damn straight. I'm tired. I had a long time in jail, I need a shower. So don't let the door hit you.

Zach: Are we clear?

Tad: Very. You want to swing in here on your vine and your little loincloth and play hero for Dixie. I'd say they got it in the back row. Show's over, folks. Go back to your drinks. Next time we'll bring in a stuntman.

Zach: That's right, show's over. You're done, it stops here.

Tad: You know -- if I wanted to add assault to that murder-one charge, it'd be kind of hard to beat, considering all these well-tanned witnesses.

Zach: Dixie's under enough pressure without you stirring it up.

Tad: Dixie put herself under pressure, so did you when you left your fingerprint in that coffin, forgot to clean the blood out of her car -- Madden’s blood.

Zach: See that? You can take a shot at me, no problem. Not at Dixie, and sure as hell not at my wife.

Tad: So you don't think Kendall deserves to know what I saw?

Zach: You saw nothing. Leave Kendall alone and leave Dixie alone, and you concentrate on finding your daughter.

Tad: I'd love to find my daughter. Unfortunately, my last chance of doing it ended up buried in a flower bed not too long ago. You want to play hero for Dixie, you want to play wrongfully accused, you go right ahead. But you keep your fists to yourself. If you or anybody who works for you gets in my way, I swear to God I'll go right to Derek, tell him everything I know.

Singer: Go, go, go with the flow you gotta let it go get in the flow

Krystal: How am I supposed to know who Tad is tangled up with?

Adam: Well, isn't it obvious? You and Tad are very close. You spent the night with him very recently, for God’s sake. If he has an ongoing, all-out affair with another married woman, wouldn't you know? If there is another married woman? Is there?

Krystal: I don't have a clue who Tad is sleeping with.

Adam: All right, you're probably right. We should focus on our own sleeping arrangements for the evening, my darling.

[Colby screams]

Colby: She murdered them -- all of them -- in cold blood with hot water! I swear to God I'm going to kill her!

Adam: Who murdered who?

Colby: Look at what the skank did! My new wardrobe -- she washed them in hot water and put them in the dryer.

Krystal: I'm sure it was a mistake. I'll talk to Winifred.

Colby: It wasn't a mistake. It was sabotage. She did it, and she hates me. She's jealous. She ruined my new wardrobe on purpose.

Winifred: What's all this fuss about? Oh, no! Oh, dear -- Sydney?

Sydney: I didn't know they would shrink.

Colby: You're such a liar. Ever since she's been here, she's done nothing but mess with me. I hate her. I want her gone.

Adam: Colby -- Colby, now, come on. Let's just -- let's just take this down a step. All right, now, I want you two to discuss this as the adults that you almost are.

Sydney: An almost-adult would not do this.

Adam: Hmm.

Winifred: Oh --

Sydney: This is my favorite top! Colby, you totally ruined it.

Colby: I didn't do that.

Sydney: Marker stains on your hand.

Colby: Ok, let's get something straight. You dumped water on me, and then you put food in my lap, and now --

Sydney: "And -- and -- um --" you're still a beeyotch.

Winifred: Oh -- ahem.

Colby: Dad, did you not hear that? Fire her.

Adam: No, nobody's getting fired here.

Sydney: Yeah, you can't get me fired.

Krystal: All right, now --

Colby: I can do anything I want!

Krystal: Stop it, stop it, both of you, you and you! Now, you continue to act like a brat, your Sweet-16 party is history.

Colby: Uh-uh, you can't --

Krystal: Over and out -- I just did.

Colby: Daddy, do something.

Sydney: "Oh, Daddy, do something! Throw me a party and -- and buy me clothes, please." You know what, Colby? Boo-flippin'-hoo.

Colby: This is mine! You better give it to me now! You're going to rip it --

Krystal: All right, honey -- honey, they are all yours.

Colby: Let go!

Krystal: I have got somewhere to be.

Adam: Krystal --

Colby: Give it to me now! You know what? Go home!

Sydney: No. No!

J.R.: Josh crashed Babe into the ocean, she could've died. You'd think she'd clue in to what he is.

Erin: Ok. You tried to kill Babe on purpose, so do we really want to go there?

J.R.: Look, Josh -- he's a snake, he's a user. He puts on those puppy-dog eyes, and Babe totally falls for it. I tried to set her straight -- that all he wants is to get laid.

Erin: Ok, so, suggesting that she's stupid and naive did not go over well, then? What is it?

J.R.: Look, I have to do something, I have to protect her. I have to stop -- you know, just -- just stop me from going on that roof.

Erin: Excuse me?

J.R.: No, if I go up there and Babe is with Josh, I swear to God I'm going to push him over the edge.

Josh: Well, sure you're glad I survived. You'd be sleeping with the fishes if it wasn't for me. It's got to beat sleeping with J.R.

Babe: Oh. Snarky. You're definitely on the road to recovery, that's for sure. And just FYI, I'm -- I'm glad you're still breathing. Because you're my friend, one of the few -- and maybe the only. So, tell me exactly what happened with Jeff and Erica.

Josh: Oh, they -- uh -- they couldn't stop going on and on about how much they wanted to get to know me. They said I should stick around and play family.

Babe: Doesn't sound too bad so far.

Josh: Well, it's out of guilt, Babe. I mean, they knew I was their son for how long, and they sat on it? What, because it was convenient for them? "Oh, maybe if we just ignore him, he'll just go away." Like it -- me, their son -- never happened. Never would've if Erica had her way.

Babe: Well, it may have taken them a while, but it doesn't mean they don't care.

Josh: Oh, yeah, right. My psycho pseudo dad exposed as a maniac -- silence. Psycho pseudo dad dies -- silence. Could've used some family then. No one came running to help me, tell me I wasn't alone, not even Grandpa Joe. No one but you.

Babe: If you give them the chance --

Josh: You didn't need an invitation. You just showed up, without caring or worrying about the consequences. You stepped up and you stood by me. Hell, you stand by J.R., and he tried to kill you. A heart like that, wasted on a guy like him.

Babe: Oh, don't start.

Josh: Don't worry. I know when to fold. You're happily ever after with J.R. Well, I don't feel like a seat at the Martin Sunday dinners or a bunker at the Kane family battles, so I'm going to take off. That job at Geneva is still waiting for me.

Babe: No. No, I didn't go head-to-head with J.R. over you just to wave you good-bye.

J.R.: I'm trying to be cool, I'm trying to keep my head, but how much more of this can I take? I mean, if I hear "poor Josh" one more time -- Babe sees him as this guy who's been kicked around by most of Pine Valley. If I go out there, Babe’s just going to, like, assume that it's another attack.

Erin: Ok, so just do what Babe’s asking -- leave Josh alone, let them have their friendship.

J.R.: That's not going to happen. Josh is after one thing -- stealing my wife. If I do nothing, I might as well hand him my bedroom keys.

Erin: You have said that Babe is committed to you. Where's the threat?

J.R.: Josh told Babe that he loves her.

Erin: Oh, wow. Oh, he used the L word? He got out the big guns, and now you want some more payback.

J.R.: I want my marriage, I want my family, I want my wife.

Babe: No. No, you can't leave, Josh, please.

Josh: No, wait -- wait a second, back up. You and J.R. fought about me?

Babe: He asked me to stop seeing you, and I told him that I am helping you work through this stuff with Erica and Jeff. It's none of his business.

Josh: Oh, good, so we're all clear on the project? No chance of mad, passionate lovemaking for J.R. to worry about.

Babe: You want to be passionate about something? How about your life here in Pine Valley? Look, I know that this stuff with Erica and Jeff -- it's so real and so fresh. But maybe after a while once the crazy settles down, you may feel totally different about them. So stay and take some time to figure out what it is that you want.

Josh: Well, what am I supposed to do with myself while I take this time?

Babe: Go back to work. You are the hotshot number one intern.

Josh: What, at PVH? No way, not with Jamie, Jeff, and Dr. Joe Martin breathing down my neck every second.

Babe: Ok, fine, so you get another job. You have all kinds of skills, and there's -- there's other companies and there's other bosses. And I have the perfect company and the perfect boss.

Josh: Who?

Babe: Take a wild guess.

Adam: Don't book Sydney’s flight just yet, Winifred.

Winifred: I cannot have her disrupting your household, sir.

Adam: Well, maybe we can give her another chance. Take her shopping, buy her a new top.

Winifred: Thank you, sir. Thank you. Sydney -- thank Mr. Chandler?

Sydney: Thank you, Mr. Chandler. I promise it won't happen again.

Colby: Oh. Can you believe her? She is so fake. I heard her talking to her aunt. Dad, I know it doesn't look like it, but Sydney -- that girl is trouble. It was either spend the summer here working or spend some time in juvie. I mean, I should've noticed when she took my sunglasses she was trouble. Oh. I tried to be her friend, and this is what I get.

Adam: Hmm.

Colby: She is out of control.

Adam: Yeah, but it won't work, Colby. Sydney is a straight A student and a track-and-field star -- that's the reason I brought her here to work this summer. I thought she would be a good influence. You could be friends.

Colby: "A good influence"? You think I'm a loser?

Adam: Oh, no. Never. You're just -- you're just lonely. You haven't had a chance to make new friends or re-establish the old ones. I thought it would be best to start with a girl who had her priorities in order.

Colby: You're saying I don't?

Adam: No. No, I'm not saying that.

Colby: You know, Dad, maybe you're right. For so long I've only had one mission impossible. All I've wanted to do was make you proud. So when you finally saw me again, you -- you would want me. Yeah, I've totally blown it. Zero priorities and a loser? How can you even look at me?

Adam: Colby -- Colby, you look at me. I love you. I'm very proud of you. You know what you want, and you go after it. I -- I think that means a lot. And I am glad to have you home here with me, where you belong.

Colby: Hmm. For how long? Your wife totally hates me. She wants me gone.

[Music plays]

Tad: Oh, you missed the floorshow. Zach tried to turn my face into mulch. Do you see any bruises?

Krystal: How the hell did Dixie find out about you and me and our little one-night stand together? Did you tell her?

Tad: No.

Krystal: Do you have any idea what that's going to do to my marriage?

Tad: Krystal, I didn't say anything to Dixie. She saw us.

Krystal: Oh.

Tad: It's ok. Don't panic, please?

Krystal: Oh, sweet mother of pearl.

Tad: Krystal --

Krystal: Tad, we are totally and completely toast.

Tad: Come here. She's facing a murder conviction. I hardly think she's going to get busy and start running around town broadcasting it to people.

Krystal: She almost did. I could barely get Adam out of here fast enough, and when we went home, he wouldn't stop with the questions. "Who were you sleeping with? Do I have any idea?" And he wouldn't take his eyes off of me.

Tad: I'm sorry. I apologize.

[Krystal sighs]

Tad: I take it you were able to hold your lip?

Krystal: Yes, and now what am I supposed to do, wake up every morning wondering when Dixie’s going to drop her bomb and blow my marriage to bits?

Tad: You have to forgive Dixie. She hasn't quite been herself lately.

Krystal: No, you haven't been yourself, Tad. Ever since Dixie was arrested for Madden’s murder, you have been treating her --

Tad: Like she's guilty.

Krystal: Why are you being so hard on her?

Singer: Go with the flow

Tad: Well, for one thing, did you ever stop to think that maybe she and Zach did kill him?

Krystal: So? So what? I thought we both agreed whoever did Madden in deserves confetti and a ticker-tape parade.

Tad: Krystal, it's not just about Madden. There's more to it than that, a lot more.

Singer: Go with the flow

Dixie: Um -- look, Kendall, I'm tired, ok? I'm not in the mood for another round.

Kendall: Tad is convinced that you slept with Zach.

Dixie: And you're going to believe my bitter, angry, ex-husband over Zach, the man who was actually in the room with me?

Kendall: If you don't stay away from Zach, you'll be sorry.

Dixie: Is that a threat?

Kendall: No. No threats. I'm just warning you to keep your distance.

Dixie: Right. Unbelievable. You know, you are so much your mother's daughter. You have everything. You have a successful company, husband, a baby, and still you are selfish, jealous, possessive. Zach is facing murder charges, he could go away to prison for life, and all you can think about is whether or not I jumped him?

[Dixie answers the door and lets Zach into her room.]

Dixie: Oh, excellent timing. Do you want to leave or do you want to stay and watch while I seduce your husband?

J.R.: Am I crazy? Am I overreacting?

Erin: No.

J.R.: Am I some sort of psycho jealous husband?

Erin: Ok, no. Josh could definitely use a smackdown. Do avoid bodily harm, though, please.

J.R.: But how do I play it? I mean, if I do something, I could lose Babe all over again. If I don't do anything, I could lose her anyway. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

[J.R. sighs]

Babe: So this is -- J.R. What are you doing --

J.R.: Babe, I came here to check on you and see how you were feeling. I mean, most people take a day off after a near-death experience.

Babe: You didn't need to come down here, I'm fine.

Erin: Um -- why don't I show you the way out.

Josh: No, that's ok. Babe was just about to give me the full tour -- water cooler, supply closet, my own office.

Erin: Your what? I'm sorry, what are you talking about? What is he talking about?

Babe: Well, we're getting ready to crank out the full media blitz for the teen campaign. We're going where no cosmetic company has ever gone before -- cell phones. So it's heavily visual. I thought that we would need somebody with media and production experience, and who better than the former supervising producer of "New Beginnings"? I offered him the job and he accepted.

J.R.: Babe, can I have a word with you?

Babe: Maybe you could get Josh started on his employment forms?

Erin: Sure. Why not? Come on.

J.R.: Look, out of all the production people to hire in the entire world, you hire this guy? You're killing me. You know, I'm almost dead.

Babe: I am not doing this to torture you. If you would trust me, who I hire wouldn't be an issue.

J.R.: Look, I cannot tell you who you can and cannot have as a friend, I cannot tell you who you can and cannot hire. If you want to hire Josh, I'm not going to fight it. But I want something in return.

Adam: There's nothing wrong with a little discipline. That doesn't mean she hates you.

Colby: Hello? She totally took away my Sweet-16 party for no reason. That doesn't say "love" to me.

Adam: Hmm.

Colby: We've missed a whole lot of birthdays together, Dad. Remember when I was little, and you had to help me blow out my candles, because I had more spit than air?

Adam: Yes.

Colby: Well, I can do it now all by myself, and I want you there.

Adam: Along with half of Pine Valley’s 18-and-under crowd.

Colby: It -- it would totally make up for every birthday we never got to spend together. Please, Dad, don't let Krystal ruin this for us.

Adam: You definitely got the Chandler gift for negotiation.

[Colby giggles]

Adam: I'll talk to her.

Colby: Yes.

[Adam laughs as Colby hugs her dad tightly.]

Colby: Thank you. Oh, thank you. I love you, Dad. I knew you'd pull through for me. Thank you.

Adam: Yes, and I love you. I love you, I want you to do something for me.

Colby: Anything. Name it, done.

Adam: I want you to get along with Sydney.

Colby: Oh --

Adam: Make every effort.

Colby: Dad --

Adam: And Krystal. I want you here with me in my home, but Krystal is a very important part of my family. I love you both very much. I want you to get along. Ok?

Krystal: Ok, I want answers, Tad, big-picture answers. What the heck is going on?

Tad: You mean besides Dixie sleeping with Zach and trying to kill a guy? That's not enough?

Krystal: Oh, ok. That's it. That's why you're so angry at her. It's not the murder, it's the sex. Well, you know what? You don't exactly have a leg to stand on there.

Tad: I'm not angry, I am frustrated. Krystal, the Dixie I knew is gone, along with my family, along with my daughter.

Krystal: Ok. You blame her for Kate.

Tad: I don't want to talk about Dixie anymore.

Krystal: Well, you know what? You don't have a choice, Tad, because I am not nearly finished. I love Adam. Despite what happened with you and me the other night, I am totally committed to this marriage, and I do not want to lose him. But if you keep slamming Dixie long and hard enough, she is going to swing back, and the stick she is going to use is you and me in the sack.

Tad: Technically, we weren't in the sack, it was the floor --

Krystal: Oh --

Tad: Sofa --

Krystal: Ok, Don’t. Stop with the jokes, Tad.

Tad: The counter --

Krystal: Tad -- if she gets her fill of your nastiness, she is going to go straight to Adam. Why not? I mean, what does she have to lose? It could be her double-slam parting shot at you and Adam before she gets carted off to prison.

Dixie: Well, Kendall?

Zach: Not funny, Dixie.

Dixie: I'm sorry. That was totally out of line.

Kendall: No, no. Actually, I'm the one who should apologize. I didn't realize you had an appointment. She's all yours. Enjoy.

Zach: Agh. All right.

Dixie: Look, I'm really -- I'm really -- I'm very sorry.

Zach: Just try seeing it her way. Can you do that?

Dixie: I do, I do try, but I don't get it. You know, you're totally upfront with her, you're totally devoted, and she's all spun-out.

Zach: She had a tough year. She lost her best friend, almost lost her baby, almost lost her life.

Dixie: Yeah, well, she has you. She has a baby, she has a future.

Zach: It's been put on hold until after the trial. Kendall has a -- a tough time believing people, but she's trying. Give her a break.

Dixie: I will.

Zach: Thank you. I'm going to go find her.

Dixie: Ok.

Zach: The reason I came here was to tell you that I had a chat with Tad, told him to just be nicer to you.

Dixie: Lovely. That must've been fun.

Zach: It was all right. I don't know if I got through to him.

Dixie: Well, as wrong as Tad is about you and me and a lot of things, he's right about one thing -- about Madden. I am to blame. Believe me!

Tad: As much of a mystery as Dixie is right now, parting shots, revenge -- it's not her style.

Krystal: What aren't you telling me, Tad? What are you holding on to? Why are you acting like this?

Tad: I'm not acting like anything. All I'm doing is standing back and letting one domino fall into another, and another and another, until everything goes to hell and everybody gets just what they deserve -- and then some.

Krystal: What does Dixie get?

Dixie: What happened to Madden is my fault.

Zach: Why do you keep doing that? Stop. Stop listening to Tad Martin.

Dixie: Why not? Everybody else is.

Zach: Yeah, what do they know?

Dixie: You know, if you're smart, you are going to walk out that door right now.

Zach: And just leave you here like that? You're a guest at my casino.

Dixie: You love Kendall. Kendall is insanely in love with you. You don't need any more problems -- more me. I owe you enough already.

Zach: You don't owe me anything.

Dixie: Please go home. Go home to your wife.

[Door opens and closes]

J.R.: Come home with me, spend the rest of the day with Little A. I already promised him that we'd catch some fireflies.

Babe: Thank you. You make me love you more every minute. I know how big this is for you.

J.R.: So, what about that play date?

Babe: I am all over a play date with Little A -- and you. Just give me a few minutes. I'm going to go over some things, so we can get a running start, ok?

J.R.: Mm-hmm.

Erin: Hey -- pen, paper, sign. Go.

Josh: Yeah. Right.

Babe: You ready for the official tour, huh? And you don't get your own office.

Josh: Why not?

Babe: Because.

Erin: How could she hire him, huh? And -- and how is he so smug? God, did you see that look he gave you? I wanted to smack him one for you.

J.R.: Look, I trust Babe, that has to be enough.

Erin: You know what, J.R.? I'm not the president of your fan club, but a lot of guys -- when things get rough, they give up. But not you. You know what? You fight for Babe and for your marriage, and you don't just go bungee jumping with the first chick through the door.

J.R.: Well, there's more to life than -- bungee jumping.

Erin: You know what? I could help you with Josh.

[J.R. gasps]

J.R.: You'll push him off the roof for me?

Erin: No. But I will show Babe what a skeeze he is.

J.R.: Oh, yeah? And how you going to do that?

Erin: Maybe it's time I have a little meaningless sex myself.

Colby: I'm down with the whole peace thing. Sydney, Krystal -- friends forever, whatever it takes.

Adam: I'll settle for relative peace and quiet.

Colby: I'll only do my part if Krystal keeps her hands off my birthday party.

Adam: Oh, yes, this -- this party, this extravaganza -- do you want to do it here or the Valley Inn?

Colby: Pine Valley? I'd rather die, Dad. It's got to be at the hottest club in New York with the hottest stars, and I want ice sculptures everywhere -- of me. And I've narrowed it down to two designers for my dress, and I'm not really sure which one yet, but I'll let you know. And for my solo dance, now --

Adam: Oh, "solo dance"?

Colby: Yeah, I found a really good Broadway choreographer, and I'm pretty sure we can get him. And if you're wondering about my present -- for my weekend car, a black two-seater convertible. I'll give you all the specs later.

Adam: Oh -- a weekend car?

Colby: Yeah.

Adam: Ha! You got to be kidding.

Colby: Dad --

Adam: You're talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Colby: A good party takes bank.

Adam: Forget it! It isn't happening. Uh-uh.

[Adam laughs]

Colby: Hello? Is this Hollywood Records? Hi. I'm friends with Jesse -- Jesse McCartney. Actually, we were related there for a while. Anyways, I'm having a Sweet-16 party, and I would love for him to come play. Whatever it cost. Not a problem.

Tad: I give you my word, I'll take care of Dixie.

Krystal: That is what's making me perspire, Tad -- how are you going to take care of Dixie?

Tad: Let me worry about that.

Krystal: Tad -- Tad, don't you do anything -- crazy.

[Sitting on her bed, Dixie tearfully looks over each photo of little girls.]

J.R.: Thanks for the offer. You're a nice girl. There's no way that I'm going to let you hook up with a creep like Josh.

Erin: No. I hate that word "nice." I hate it. I want to -- I want to, like, stomp it with my feet, squish it between my toes, you know? What did "nice" get me? I saved myself for Mr. Freakin' Right, and -- had to be special, had to be love, had to mean something. Two seconds later, where is he?

J.R.: Bungee jumping?

Erin: If he can do it, so can I.

J.R.: But there are other choices, better choices.

Erin: This'll help you.

J.R.: But you don't like me!

Erin: Yeah, but -- well, you're trying to hold on to Babe. Maybe you're not so bad. Come on, come on, this is perfect, it's so perfect. I bust Josh as a slime, you're on the sidelines, you are completely innocent. You won't lose Babe, she'll see Josh for what he really is. Come on.

J.R.: And you'll have meaningless sex?

Erin: Exactly. Everybody wins -- except Josh. And that's --

J.R.: If this works --

Erin: When this works --

J.R.: I'll owe you.

Erin: I'll hold you to it.

Babe: All set. Let's go see our boy.

Erin: Um -- Josh? If you want to stick around, I'd be happy to bring you up to speed on some of the promotional stuff. You know, POP mockups for the new campaign?

Babe: That's a great idea. Thank you, Erin.

Erin: No problem. You interested?

Josh: Well, anything to get ahead.

Babe: Ok.

Erin: All right.

Babe: All right.

Erin: Let's get started.

Babe: See you guys in the a.m., don't work too hard.

Erin: We won’t.

[Elevator door closes]

Erin: So, are you ready for a crash course in what I do?

Josh: Bring it.

Erin: Oh, you just try to keep up.

Kendall: I love you.

Zach: And I love you. Hey.

Kendall: Hey. Oh, my God. Oh, I want more, I want more. Listen to me, listen, all of that crazy stuff that happened with Dixie -- it's done. It's over, ok? I -- I don't want to lose you, Zach. I don't ever want to lose you, especially going to prison for something I know you didn't do. So whatever you need from me, whatever it takes to drop those charges, I am with you. I will do it, Zach. I will do anything.

Zach: There's a way.

[Spike cries]

Kendall: Oh, I can't -- good. Great. Great, I'm in, I'm in.

Zach: It won't be easy.

Kendall: All right, let's hear it. I want to hear it right after I feed Spike.

Zach: Ok.

Kendall: Ok? I -- I will do this for you. Whatever you need for me to keep you out of prison and with me, I am in 100%.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Ryan (to Jonathan): You're back?

Babe (to Josh): How about you stop flirting and get back to work?

Josh: I can do both. Watch me.

Tad (to J.R.): Your mother has made her choice.

J.R.: Win her back.

Zach (to Kendall): We got to prove Tad right, that Dixie and I are having an affair.

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