All My Children Transcript Friday 7/28/06
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
Di: You are so dirty.
Aidan: Well, you're pretty filthy yourself.
Aidan: I think I'm going to take a shower.
Di: I think I have to join you.
Aidan: You should.
Adam: Colby Marian Chandler, you button your lip and button the rest of you. You're coming home this instant.
Colby: Yeah. I don't think so.
Erica: Jack, can't you go any faster? We have to find Josh.
Jack: Honey, I'm doing the best I can with this fog.
Erica: Oh. He was planning to leave town anyway. After what happened at ConFusion, the way he was ambushed, the way he was humiliated, I mean, he just might take off and never come back.
Babe: Stop this plane, Josh. Where do you think you're going? I'm serious, Josh. Are you listening to me?
Jack: Can you think of anywhere else that Josh might've gone?
Erica: I saw Babe Chandler go running after him. Maybe we should check the cheap motels.
Jack: Well, Jeff said he'd search the hospital. We've already looked at the Valley Inn.
Erica: Well, we just have to keep driving. Maybe we can spot his car. Oh, Jack, look. Taillights. That could be him.
Dixie: This could be her, or this. I mean, one of these beautiful babies could be my daughter, my Kate. You know, some of them actually look like me.
[Zachís car brakes screech as someone hits him from behind with a loud thud.]
J.R.: Babe? Did you come back here?
Babe's voice: Josh, wait. Look, I don't know where you're going, but you're not going by yourself. I'm coming with you.
J.R.: Just tell me you didn't get on that plane.
[Looking for his wife at ConFusion, J.R. is tempted by all the open liquor bottles.]
Babe: I mean it, Josh. Cut the engines!
Josh: Too late. We're going too fast, Babe. Better hang on. No turning back now.
Erin: Unbelievable. We're closed -- get out.
J.R.: My wife is part-time owner in this place. That makes me VIP.
Erin: No, no, try "SOB" and your wife's club, RIP. After what you pulled, our opening night and our closing night are one and the same.
J.R.: That's some pretty sad PR considering all the customers were blown away.
Erin: Yes, yes -- savagely, emotionally, thanks to you. Maybe I should refresh your memory, J.R. A few hours ago, this room was packed with fabulous people, hot music, cool vibe, and then someone -- you -- decides to play guest DJ but -- but instead of more Rihanna, no, you spin Greg Maddenís greatest hits. Yes, a dead man making murder accusations booming over our sound system. Oh, yes, here! Isnít this your prop of choice when you have a date with disaster? ĎCause, as I remember, the bubbly sure was flowing the last time you played tightrope walker up on the roof.
J.R.: I donít need to get high on loser buildings. I may have just destroyed my life and my marriage without ever leaving the ground.
Babe: What are you doing? Oh, my G -- oh, God!
Josh: This is your captain speaking. Thank you for flying Madden Airlines or is it Martin Air? You know, Babe? I sure donít.
Babe: No, but I know I didnít choose to fly anywhere with you. You kidnapped me. What are you doing in the driverís seat.
Josh: You can drive anywhere you want to go.
Babe: Thatís enough!
Josh: Iím kidding. Iím just kidding. Itís on auto pilot. Relax! Sorry, I didnít mean to scare you. Iím just a little all over the place right now. I donít know what my deal is.
Babe: Our deal was to get happy and talk about it.
Josh: Oh, I know a great place, in Bermuda!
Babe: Either you have extremely bad hearing or a super lame memory, but I have told you a million times, I am not walking away from J.R. or my little boy. You can take me to the sun and back, and I still wouldnít chance my mind.
Josh: Roger that! Look, Babe, I know youíd never turn your back on the people you love. I'm not asking you to do that. I just had to get out of there. I couldn't sit down there a second longer while my life caved in. I couldn't breathe. I had to come up for air, way up, as high and as far from being buried as I possibly could.
Jack: Ah, for Peteís -- are you all right, sweetheart?
Erica: Oh -- I'm fine, I'm fine. It's not your fault. That slowpoke up there is the one who should be sorry.
Zach: Fog like that and the guy's right on me.
Jack: What kind of idiot slows to a crawl in fog like this without even putting on their hazard lights?
Dixie: I bet it's some diva, always in a hurry.
Erica: Probably some idiot with no life and nowhere to go and thinks he's the only one on the road.
Zach: Jackson. Drive much?
Jack: Well, I did, Zach, until you wrapped my fender around my tire.
Zach: That's driving 101 -- don't tailgate anybody. Come on.
Erica: Marriage 101 -- don't drive around in the dark with a woman who's not your wife.
[Tad walks in on Aidan and Di in a compromising position.]
Tad: You hear the one about the penguin and the taxidermist? Actually, neither have I, but it's got potential, so I think I'll go work on it -- someplace else.
Aidan: Is there any leads on Kate?
Tad: No. And I -- look, I apologize, all right? I -- I just thought I'd make a personal appearance, because I've been out of the loop lately. So I'll see you tomorrow.
Aidan: Listen, Tad, hold on, man.
Tad: You can answer the phone. I promise I'll just stand here and look awkward.
Aidan: I'll just be a sec. Devane. And you're sure it's the man that's stalking Lily Montgomery?
Lily: Reggie told me that if you sacrifice sleep to finish a task, it's called "pulling an all-nighter," and that's what I want to do.
Jonathan: Well, if we do, Lily, you'll be done before morning.
Lily: I know, Jonathan. But I'm going to do everything again, maybe a few times. It'll be really good practice for when I'm head accountant here.
Jonathan: Lily, do you not want to go home?
Lily: Not until sunrise. I know that there are guards that Ryan hired out there. But I still feel a lot safer in here with you.
Colby: Here, have a beer. It'll take the edge off.
Adam: I'm going to count to three --
Man: Chill, Gramps. Go back to your rocking chair. I'll make sure she gets home.
Adam: Well, you're awful smug for somebody who just got caught manhandling an underage girl. Did she by any chance forget to tell you that I own a billion-dollar corporation and a media empire? I control the police and lots and lots of judges. She also probably forgot to tell you that she's 15. That's right. That's why they call it "jailbait." So smile, son, because all the boys at the state pen just can't wait to meet you.
Colby: No, hey! Don't -- don't go, please. Dad, Dad. Come on, don't go. He doesn't know --
Adam: Ha-ha. You want to end up in jail, too? Stealing Babeís ID card? Coming into a nightclub that you knew had served alcohol, and I catch you feeling frisky with a frat boy.
Colby: I can't believe you just did that. You know, I thought you were on my side, but I guess not. You know, you're just like Liza. I'm just trying to make new friends.
Adam: With your clothes off?
Tad: So, where exactly does that leave us?
Di: Aidan, I think you should probably tell Lily the news.
Aidan: Right. Can I drop you home on the way?
Di: No, I think I've got some unfinished business here.
Aidan: Ok. Right. Night, then.
Di: So did you hear the one about the Brit and the blonde? See, the Brit breaks up with his girlfriend or she breaks up with him --
Tad: Oh, so, wait, wait, wait. So, Aidan and Erin aren't seeing each other anymore?
Di: And the blonde didn't plan on -- it just -- she didn't plan on it.
Tad: You know what? Scratch it. Don't -- I mean, it's better, you know? It's all right. It's none of my business anyway. I practically kicked you out of my life, so I -- you don't need to explain, and I don't need to know.
Di: Well, maybe not to you, but what about to myself? How do I explain tonight to myself? I don't know what it was, why it was. It just -- it happened. And it certainly wasn't anything deep. Thank God, right? I do deep, and I end up drowning myself and everyone else in the pool.
Erica: What happened, Zach? Baby cramping your style, clouding your vision?
Dixie: Look, Zach got a lead on Kate and that's why he left ConFusion early. He's just trying to help me find my daughter.
Erica: Did it ever occur to you, Dixie, that you are not the only concerned mother on the planet? There are other missing children, and while you're out here causing car accidents, there are other people on the road who have places to be.
Dixie: We were at a storage unit in Philadelphia that belonged to Greg Madden. I would think you, of all people, would not want him to get away with another crime.
Erica: Oh, my God. It was you. You weren't at the hospital when Kendall came out of the coma, because you were busy grave digging with Dixie here. You buried Greg Madden alive and then you made that recording of him.
Dixie: What recording?
Erica: Oh. You put the most private, most intimate details of my life on a CD, and then you handed it over to that creep J.R.
Dixie: Wait a minute -- that's my son you're talking about.
Erica: Oh, my God. I don't even believe you at all. You spent years of your life guarding your own precious little secret about tossing away your child, but you have no problem playing fast and loose with a secret that I just found out?
J.R.: It might not make any sense to you or anyone else, yet, but I have no other choice. Chief Frye has been putting the squeeze on my family -- my mom, Tad, Jamie -- hoping to pop loose anything that proves that we put Madden underground. That CD was to prove to the cops that plenty of other people had motive to want to see the doc fertilized.
Erin: Ok, ok. So this was about protecting your family. What was Josh? Was he collateral damage?
J.R.: Ok, not exactly. He's been hitting on my wife for months, I wanted him gone.
Erin: Oh. How's that going?
J.R.: Josh is gone. Problem is Babeís with him.
Erin: Oh! You've got -- you got a serious impulse control problem, you know that? You're not very good at thinking things through.
J.R.: No, believe me, I thought about this move long and hard. I may have lost the love of my life, but, hey, I learned something from it -- I didn't need booze to do it. Did it all on my own. I just want Babe to come home, more than anything. You want to handicap this one for me?
Erin: You know, marketing, macchiatos -- these I know. But relationships -- not my bag. Yeah. Call me "one and done."
J.R.: You know, when I said you had spectacular eyes, I meant it. There's no way no other guys haven't noticed that.
Erin: I'm a late bloomer, J.R. I'm a very late bloomer, and I may not know much about flirty looks and smooth moves, but I do know what it's like to fumble away someone you love. .
Erin: Aidan, I -- I didn't think you would come back. Can we talk?
Aidan: I haven't got time right now. I need to see Jonathan. Do you know where he is?
Erin: Yeah, he's in the office with Lily.
J.R.: Looks like you're still fumbling.
Colby: I'm so sorry, Daddy. I -- I don't know how to make friends. The only friends I had on the run were the imaginary kind.
Adam: There's nothing imaginary about that meathead.
Colby: Mom was so paranoid. She'd freak out if she saw me talking to anyone. And forget slumber parties or school dances. I barely even got to know other girls' names.
Adam: Yeah, that's all very touching, but that doesn't excuse stripping down with a stranger on the beach.
Colby: I thought that's how you show a guy you're into him. Was I wrong? Was he wrong for kissing me?
Adam: There are laws -- there are laws against it.
Colby: Seriously? Sex?
Adam: Oh. Huh.
Colby: Liza never told me anything about sex. Now that we're together, I can learn all about my dad and sex -- from you.
Aidan: Today, Terry got on a plane, and he flew to Ireland.
Lily: Ireland has four international airports. Dublin is the busiest one. It's approximately 3,260 miles away from here.
Aidan: And if he ever comes back to the States, he's going to be arrested.
Lily: You said "if." That means he might try.
Aidan: Which is why I have a friend in Ireland that is going to be watching his every move. Anything he does, we're going to know about it right away.
Lily: Then I'd like to go home now.
Aidan: You should. You should go home, Lily, and get some sleep, ok? I'm going to work on getting this bad man arrested, so he can never hurt anyone again. Ok?
Erin: Oh, God. When I -- when I pushed Aidan away, I -- I had no idea that he would land in somebody else's bed so fast. Technically, it wasn't a bed. Still -- no transition time even. I'm so naive. I -- I had no idea I would be replaced this easily. You think Babe might've landed somewhere, too.
J.R.: I told Babe no matter what this jackass Josh wants, it means nothing to me. Her heart, her truth -- that's all that matters. I guess we'll have to find out who the real jackass is now, huh? See how well my faith in Babe really flies.
Josh: You know, when I looked around tonight, saw all those faces staring at me, getting off on the evening's entertainment, you were the only one who gave a damn about me. Hell, at this point, you're the only one on the planet. There used to be someone else -- my mom. God, what I wouldn't give to see her right now. And she's not even my mom. How pathetic is that? Come on, Josh. Enough with this self-pity BS. You can handle Wall Street, live TV, the ER. You can go life solo. Friends, family, the truth -- that's all overrated.
Babe: I know that it -- that it seems all kinds of impossible to believe right now, but you're not alone. You said that you saw the look in my eyes tonight? Well, I also saw the look in someone else's eyes -- Ericaís. She cares about you, Josh.
Josh: How could you possibly know that?
Babe: Because I have a son, too, and I know that if my little boy went through something even as close to what you went through tonight, I would have the same look in my eyes. They're a good family. Why don't you give them a chance? There's Bianca -- she's amazing, and Kendall, you -- two sisters. Oh, and believe me, they can be hell on wheels, but it can be a good thing if they're on your side. Please, Josh. Promise me that you won't leave without talking to Erica.
Erica: And then Josh just ran off, so we've been looking for him ever since.
Dixie: Where did J.R. get this CD?
Jack: He said it was planted in his sock drawer.
Dixie: Was there anything else on it, any names or addresses? Didn't Madden say anything about Kate?
Erica: How dare you.
Zach: The woman is trying to find her daughter.
Erica: And I'm trying to find my son, who is out here somewhere with his heart ripped out. How dare you, both of you, start to interrogate me about your urgent search.
Jack: Honey, honey, honey? I know how difficult this is for you, but we have to remain calm if we're going to find Josh.
Erica: Do you have any idea who planted that disc on J.R.? Zach?
Dixie: Look, Zach promised me that he wouldn't go after J.R. We have an understanding.
Zach: What do you want?
Erica: I want to find my son. What J.R. did was was such a --
Dixie: What J.R. did? What about what you did? Or should I say, didn't do? I mean, Kendallís problems didn't start with me, or Zach, or J.R., they started with Greg Madden.
Jack: Dixie, just take it easy, please --
Dixie: You know what, you knew what kind of monster Greg Madden was. You could have stopped him -- by telling everybody that Josh was your son. You knew what he was capable of. You could have protected Kendall, but you didnít. You stood by and let that man do anything that he could have thought of to your daughter while you did nothing!
Erica: And what about you, Dixie? Why didn't you step forward with your secret? You could have saved both our children.
Josh: You know, not every mother is as caring as you, Babe. When I told Erica I was leaving forever, did she throw her arms around me? Try to stop me? No. She cracked a joke. "There's no one like you, Josh." Get it? Me, the science experiment of a son she never wanted to be born, and still doesn't want.
Babe: Erica was probably dying inside. It probably caught her off-guard.
Josh: No, no. I've seen Erica dying. At the Mardi Gras Ball, we were trapped together. She had some choice words for me then, too. She said, "Thereís no way you could be my son." Yeah, that's what she said after I saved her life. She knew, for months. She just didn't care.
Babe: Well, you were also a different person back then. Mr. TV big shot. Only caring about the number one. Not exactly the guy to go to for a heart-to-heart. But you're different now. You actually care about people.
Josh: Oh, yeah, I'm a -- I'm a big star now. It all makes sense. Babe, I mean, you think Joe Martin ignored all the warnings and hired me because of my tremendous potential? Potential to be his grandkid. And what about Jeff? I mean, he just happens to show up in Pine Valley? Pick me for his training seminar? Training for father/son bonding is more like it. God knows he needs it. Where was he when Erica went to my other dad trying to get rid of me? Where -- where the hell have the other Martins been all this time?
Babe: Look, I know that everything seems to suck right now, but there -- there are some still pretty awesome things that you can grab on to.
Josh: Like what, a noose?
Babe: Like Bianca. She has the biggest heart of any single person I have ever met. And having Tad for an uncle, Jamie for a cousin --
Josh: Oh, yeah. Face them again? No chance. I'd rather dive out of this airplane without a parachute.
Babe: No -- I'm sorry, that's not going to happen. You are going to have to flip a U-ee and take me back to my son. Josh, look, I care about you. I do. And if you decide to stay in Pine Valley, I'll still be your friend. Whenever you need to talk or vent or fire off questions like Vinny firing at the bad guys, I'm down.
Josh: All right. Well, here's one for you. When you get back, what is J.R. going to do to you?
J.R.: You know what that stuff will do to you?
Erin: What? I should take a shot for every stupid assumption I made. Ugh, ugh. Where does Aidan get off taking me at my word, just because I broke up with him, huh?
J.R.: It won't work. Trust me.
Erin: Ok. You're a guy. Is this typical guy behavior?
J.R.: Kind of. Yeah.
Erin: Oh, kind of? Wham, bam, I was with you, now I'm with her?
[Aidan and Erin stare at each other as he walks out the door.]
J.R.: Or he might still love you.
Erin: No, did you catch the news flash? He's having sex with someone else!
J.R.: When a guy's hurting, he'll hop in the sack with a hot chick in a heartbeat. Has enough of this, he'll do a chick with three teeth and a mustache.
Erin: You offer me this golden nugget of wisdom why?
J.R.: Just because Aidanís getting some, doesn't mean that he's moved on. And this other chick -- she might mean nothing at all.
Di: It had nothing to do with me not loving you.
Tad: I'm sure it didnít. And like I said, I'm not your problem anymore.
Di: Problem? Tad, you've been wonderful to me, for me. You're the first person that I've ever really loved. Because of that, I was holding on to you so tight, my -- my eyes were shut. I didn't see that you were never really mine to begin with. Yeah.
Tad: Well, then I guess I had my eyes shut most of the time, too.
Di: I screwed things up. I pushed too hard. I was trying to force it. I was trying to do anything to -- to make a difference, to make it matter. To -- to -- just for me to be someone to --
Tad: It does matter. It matters a lot. You are someone. Someone very special.
Di: Yeah -- huh. A lot of someones, huh? A jailbird. A -- a fake nanny, pole dancer.
Tad: Di, you're a loving sister, a damn good friend --
Tad: And a beautiful fiancťe.
Di: It was just like my whole life, I've -- I guess I've been playing dress-up. Like I've been trying on all these costumes that didn't really fit. And the saddest part of it is, is that I didn't like any of those people I was trying so hard to be. I certainly wasn't proud of them. Especially this last year's model of Di. Trying so hard to fill myself up with Pine Valley, with you, with Dixieís old life. I have just got to stop, Tad. Got to let go, slow down. Maybe if I stop trying so hard, it'll be easier to find the real me.
Tad: Sounds like a plan.
Colby: Daddy, you're the coolest. And I have tons of questions about sex. Tons.
Adam: Let's not rush into this.
Colby: Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
Adam: Pregnant? No, don't even think about that.
Colby: Ok. So if I wanted to go on the pill, where do I get it?
Adam: No. No pills.
Colby: You just told me not to get pregnant. Ok, whatever. Moving on. How will I know if I'm a lesbian? And sex toys -- what are those?
Adam: Look, I'll buy you a book on the basics, and you can read it -- over the next few months while you're locked in your room.
Colby: What? This is bogus! I knew it. I knew you never cared about me.
Adam: Don't say that.
Colby: All those years, Mom said that we had to keep running, because I was your prize, and you wouldn't stop chasing after us until you won me.
Colby: You know something? You weren't even in the game, Dad.
Adam: That's not so. That is not so.
Colby: No --
Adam: I -- I hired world-class private investigators. It cost me a bloody fortune.
Colby: Get a refund. We never even left the continent. And you expect me to believe that cha-ching Chandler got stumped by a few phony names and a couple fake IDs? Please. You let Mom steal me. You probably didn't even notice I was gone.
Adam: That's not true.
Colby: I grew up in hell because of you. I'm going back to her.
Adam: Colby, stop.
Jack: That's enough, all right? That's enough. We're all upset. Let's just go home, huh?
Erica: And how, Jack?
Zach: I'll drive, come on.
Erica: You drive? I'd rather walk.
Zach: Suit yourself. Come on.
Dixie: I'm really sorry I went over the line with Erica, but she just infuriates me.
Zach: Try earplugs. Works for me.
Dixie: Erica really hates me. If Kendall feels the same way, I'm going to need a lot more than earplugs.
Zach: I promised to help you. Kendall understands that.
Dixie: Oh, she may understand, but I really doubt that she likes it.
Erin: Poor little tequila girl. Taking pity on me, right?
J.R.: I don't do pity. Hang in there.
J.R.: Good luck.
Erin: Yeah, you, too.
Jonathan: So? You saw Aidan?
Erin: I bombed. I choked. I blew it. Brain freeze, you know? So please, quickly, please tell me something nice? Like -- like, "It's ok, little sis, you'll get him next time."
Jonathan: Erin, next time? How many more chances do you think you're going to get?
Babe: My husband was born with a wicked streak. But violent? That's not who he is. The guy that ran down Amanda and held Mama at gunpoint and tried to take me out -- that is some Mr. Hyde that moved in when the booze and the pain were too much. Whatever J.R. thinks happened tonight, he will not hurt me.
Josh: Right. You have a kid with the guy, so I get that you have to deal with him on that. But there's nothing that says that you have to love him. I can't wrap my head around why you do.
Babe: Honestly, sometimes I can't, either. I don't know -- I -- I can't explain it. Loving J.R. is not a choice for me, it's -- it's part of who I am. And do I know if I'll make it to our next anniversary? I have no idea. But I do know that I want to try -- after I punch his lights out.
Josh: Speaking of lights -- I don't see any down there. Must be bad weather. I have to land on instruments. Damn.
Babe: What is it? What's wrong?
Josh: Not to be the guy that's trying to get you to make-out point, but we're about to run out of gas.
Adam: Colby, you can't leave now. You have no idea how much I missed you. And I do love you.
Colby: I love you, too, Daddy. You know, I had always dreamed that one day my rich, strong, handsome father would come rescue me. But I didn't think it would be from a new friend on the beach.
Colby: But it works.
Adam: I will always rescue you.
Colby: I know the perfect way for me to meet new people. Two words --
Adam: "Nun's convent"?
Colby: "Sweet 16!" I can plan the best party ever! And you could totally see the guest list.
Colby: Oh -- what?
Adam: The guest list -- will I be on it?
Colby: Don't worry, I think I can pull a few strings.
Dixie: You've been an incredible friend, Zach. But it's time for me to start looking for Kate by myself. You have your own child at home. You've done enough for mine.
Zach: Won't be enough till we find Kate.
Dixie: I just don't want it costing you.
Zach: Let me worry about that.
Tad: I'm still your biggest fan.
Tad: Which means I'll be expecting my T-shirt.
Di: Oh, yeah, the one with my -- my face on it? Big, saying "I gave the old college try with Di"? Hmm.
Tad: I'd say we did a little more than that.
Di: Tad, what you've taught me about love -- I -- I'm not going to forget that.
Jack: Sweetheart, if you'd be more comfortable out here, I'll go inside and see if I can get a ride for us.
Erica: Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Jack: Yeah, yeah.
Erica: Thank you. Just hurry, ok?
Jack: All right.
Erica: All right.
[Jack walks into the bar and hears Jonathan speaking to his sister in a normal manner.]
Erin: It doesn't even matter that I lost my nerve with Aidan. Because what I broke can't be fixed. Huh.
Jonathan: Get over yourself. What, do you want Aidan or not?
Erin: Of course, I want him.
Jonathan: Then wise up. You want someone, you do whatever it takes to get them. And that involves a little bit more than a concerted effort.
Lily: I completed 78% of my task. But I can do the other 22% in the morning.
Jonathan: Oh. Well, Erin, can you give us a lift? Because my wife and I don't like to ride our bikes in the dark. It can be dangerous.
Lily: Well, thank you.
Erica: Oh, Josh, I'm so sorry.
J.R.: Come home, Babe. Please come home to me.
Babe: What were you thinking, bringing us up here without a full tank of gas?
Josh: I wasn't thinking. Kind of had a rough night, remember? Don't worry, Babe. This is 6-5-Quebec. Experiencing navigational difficulties. I'm running low on fuel. Request position and clearance for landing at nearest airfield. The nearest airfield can't take us. Shut down because of fog.
Babe: What's happening? Where are we going?
Josh: Hang on, Babe. We're going down.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Joe (to Jamie): Tell me you had nothing to do with what happened at ConFusion.
Ryan (to Annie and Erin): And heís not safe, and neither is Lily.
Jack: Go ahead, Jonathan, here's your chance -- explain to your wife who you really are.
Tad (to Erica and Jeff): Josh's plane went down.
Man: The aircraft went down off the coast.
J.R.: They went into the ocean?
J.R. (to Erica): Your son killed my wife.
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