All My Children Transcript Thursday 6/22/06
Proofread by Gisele
PA Announcer: Dr. Forest, dial 118, please. Dr. Forest, please dial 118.
[As Julia naps at the hospital, Josh wakes her up with kisses.]
Julia: Mmm. Yeah. Keep this dream going. Oh! What the hell was that?
Josh: I was just keeping your dream alive.
Julia: Oh, it was disgusting.
Josh: Actually, I lied. I'm just conducting a little experiment. The medical community is really curious to find out if you're willing to give it up to a guy who's old enough to shave.
[Julia hauls off and slaps Josh.]
[Jamie whistles as he sits looking at the site of Gregís grave.]
J.R.: Is that necessary?
Jamie: The whistling?
J.R.: You can put a rest to that, too, but I meant the ball. You want to wear it out?
Jamie: That's a good prop, huh? For shooting hoops or pretending to. Keep it in the air, man.
[After Jamie leaves, J.R. continues the watch over Gregís gravesite.]
Babe: You can't? No, that's not possible. You have to -- of course you can't. I get it now. Thanks. So, which one of you should I thank?
Erin: Sorry. Is there a problem?
Babe: Gee, you think? Damn straight there's a big problem.
Kendall: We need the video, all right, Ryan? There's way too much to remember here. I mean, how -- how to feed him, how to -- to change him and bathe him and then -- and all of that stuff.
Ryan: It's not an exact science.
Kendall: Ok. Were you teaching the class?
Kendall: No. No, you weren't, so then don't pretend like it's no big deal, ok? By the time Spike is ready for all of this, I will have forgotten everything, and I -- we need to videotape it next time.
Ryan: Hey, hey, hey, hey --
Kendall: It's going to be a lot better. Oh, my God. Spike.
[Children play at the park as Zach plays with J.R.ís ball.]
J.R.: Ryan already launched his first sneak attack at the rooftop at Fusion. Now it's your turn? Let her rip.
Zach: If I want to bring a man down, he'll never see me coming.
[Trumpet plays "Reveille" in Gregís grave to wake him up.]
Kendall: Ryan, look at him.
Ryan: Hey. Hi, little guy. He looks so --
Kendall: He's so cute. His eyes -- his eyes aren't taped anymore. He's -- you can even see his eyes. They're -- they're beautiful. Hey, honey. See Mommy and Daddy admiring their perfect Spike?
Ryan: That must feel good, huh? It must feel so good not to have all those wires and tubes and everything.
Kendall: Oh. Wait a minute. This is good, right? Is this -- is this good? This is good?
Ryan: Of course it's good. Look at him -- he looks great. He looks fine.
Kendall: Yeah, but they -- they didn't tell us that they were going to take him off the machines and everything.
Ryan: No, but he's healthy. Look -- I mean, he looks -- he looks healthy.
Kendall: Well, yeah. I mean, he looks sort of plump -- plump for him. I mean -- do you think it's possible he gained weight since last night? Is that possible?
Dr. Mayer: Oh, it's more than possible. And your son's weight gain puts him exactly where we want him to be.
Kendall: Oh, now, you -- that's my boy. That's my boy.
Ryan: That's right. Your mom named you right.
Dr. Mayer: Well, you two are just in time.
Kendall: Yeah, for the chubby Spike unveiling.
Dr. Mayer: That's right. Time to start adjusting Spike to life outside the incubator. So, who wants to hold him first?
Ryan: His mom.
Kendall: His dad.
Zach: This is nice, out in the sun, not the fluorescent lights of the hospital. No tubes, no life support.
Zach: Yet. So keep playing these silly games to celebrate your freedom and stop hassling my wife.
J.R.: Kendall missed a lot because of me. Just figured I'd fill her in on you and Dixie.
Zach: Mm-hmm. Don't get involved in that.
J.R.: She deserves the truth.
Zach: You don't recognize the truth when it's staring you right in the face.
J.R.: You want to shoot hoops or no? Ok, I got the message.
Zach: Repeat it so we're clear.
J.R.: You'd like to slam me. If I were you, I would. What I did to Kendall and her baby I'll probably never be able to make up for. You want to take revenge, or at least try.
Zach: I either do or I donít.
J.R.: Whatever. Just don't exploit my mother anymore.
Zach: Exploiting women is your game, not mine.
J.R.: She doesn't need you complicating her life.
Zach: No, you have that covered, don't you?
J.R.: Why don't you take care of your own life and leave my mother alone?
Zach: The only reason you're still alive, Junior, is because of your mother.
Babe: Oh, come on. Don't be shy. The least you can do is take some credit.
Simone: Look, we're trying to work here.
Babe: Yeah, so was I. I had a presentation that somehow -- which one of you erased it?
Danielle: Excuse me. Is she accusing us of office espionage?
Simone: Oh, no, no, no, honey.
Babe: I sweated blood on that presentation, and it was fantastic, and one of you made it disappear.
Simone: Oh, please. "My dog erased my homework"? Why in the world would we mess with your little product blurb or whatever?
Babe: To make me look bad?
Simone: Like she needs our help for that.
Babe: To make me so mad that I would quit.
Danielle: Paranoid much?
Simone: Look, we all know that you came here better prepared to pose the question, "Do you want fries with that?" Than you are capable of writing marketing strategies or participate in R&D. So, honestly, Babe, did you realize that your little presentation was so lame that it'd be better for you to pull the plug on it yourself and then blame us?
Danielle: Brilliant deduction.
Simone: Thank you.
Babe: You guys couldn't just stop at the presentation. You had to get into the mainframe and take out the entire project file.
Erin: Hey. These are some pretty serious charges you're throwing around.
Babe: And you know what the sad part is, is that whoever did this put petty backstabbing above the good of the company. You hurt Fusion. That teen presentation was fabulous, and it could've boosted sales by millions.
Danielle: You're your biggest fan.
Simone: Her only fan.
Babe: Either you didn't read it or you decided to screw over Fusion, because you just don't care.
Simone: Oh, wait -- you just wait a minute right there. Are you accusing me? Look, honey, if you can't keep up with today's technology, don't blame your failures and your mistakes on me. We won't have that.
Babe: Hmm. I'm quaking in my Choos.
Simone: You should.
Erin: We don't want to see you angry and unhappy. That's all.
Danielle: We don't want to see you.
Babe: Then I suggest that you leave, because as long as you're all here, I'm up in your faces.
Simone: Oh. Oh. Yeah -- and look who's accusing us of not caring about the company? You know that attacking us doesn't help the company at all. If you really cared at all about Fusion, you'd just stay at home.
Babe: Gee, I would take the day off if I didn't have to reconstruct my entire presentation. Coming up with the whole campaign, the ad copy -- it was time-consuming. Streamlining "Fusion Facts for Teens" on to cell phones, product information, makeup tips, sales offers, but you know what? If I did it once, I can do it again.
Simone: Yeah, well, don't bother. You're off the project. Erin, honey, I know that you've got the teen target, so see what you can do with it. Thank you.
Babe: You can't do that.
Danielle: She just did.
Simone: Go on, Erin. It's all yours.
Babe: No, this is my idea, Simone.
Simone: Yeah, well, you blew it. You leave me no option than to reassign the presentation.
Babe: And I am a partner with a hell of a lot of stock. If you think you're just going to rip this out of my hands, you are going to have to wipe out a lot more than my computer.
Josh: What's with the face?
Julia: I hope you're bruised or get whiplash.
Josh: Oh, come on. You enjoyed it, maybe even more than I did.
Julia: You're a disgusting pig.
Josh: Five more seconds, you wouldn't have been able to stop yourself.
Julia: With you? Never, no way.
Josh: You were about to jump on me right here, which proves that you're just wasting your time with the Martin kid.
Julia: Shut up, Josh.
Josh: There's a wonderful world of adults out there -- single, available adults, Julia.
Julia: What, is this something that you've heard about? When was the last time you actually had a date?
Josh: Are you asking me out?
Julia: Go to hell.
Josh: No, seriously. You want to know if I'm single, if I'm spoken for.
Julia: Oh, don't even --
Josh: No, it's -- it's all right. Don't be embarrassed. It's perfectly natural. I mean, maybe Jamie was an appetizer. Now you're ready for the main course.
Julia: You really have no idea how obnoxious you are, do you?
Josh: Oh, you just misdirected your desire towards a kid -- Jamie.
Julia: You're supposed to be an adult? That, jumping on me?
Josh: That was more of a slow mount.
Julia: You have the mind and the mouth of a Junior high school perv. I haven't heard the "You say you hate me, but you're really hot for me" come-on since eighth grade, so --
Josh: You think I'm coming on to you?
Julia: I think your tongue in my ear was pretty much the tip-off.
Jamie: Kissing by hospital staff on hospital property? Damn. Now I got to spoil my morning by filling out a report.
Kendall: I can't believe it. I really -- I really canít. You either have nerves of steel or no nerves at all.
Ryan: Come on, it's not like it's the absolute first time I ever held a baby and it kind of comes back to you like -- like riding a bike.
Kendall: How can you compare the greatest gift humanity has ever produced to your two-wheeler? Oh, I kind of wish he did come with training wheels.
Ryan: No, you don't need them. You don't believe me. I haven't held a little baby this small since Erin and Jonathan came back from the hospital and, you know, they're all right.
Kendall: Well, well, hold on, you were so young. You're not ready for that. You weren't ready for that.
Ryan: I did fine, I did fine. My point is only if I can do it, you can do it.
[Baby stretches his little arms over his head and squeaks.]
Ryan: Right, Spike? You think Mommy can handle this? Or do you think that this is maybe just like a really special Daddy time, like male bonding sort of thing -- you and me, man? You and me, Spike -- we got it all under control.
Kendall: You know, it must be things like this that -- that make people think that moms and dads should be married. Really? Oh, munchkin.
Kendall: What is this, huh? Huh? Hmm. Oh. Daddy has the inside track, huh, because he's so brave? He's so brave, isn't he?
Ryan: Your mom is plenty brave, too, ok? It's just, well, a little education can be dangerous. I think the baby class just kind of freaked her out a little bit.
Kendall: And you can't be too careful.
Ryan: Now, that clucking might sound like chicken, but really it's -- it's more mother hen. You see, she's just trying to protect you from her.
Kendall: Would you quit warping my child? Don't warp him.
Ryan: You can thank her when you learn how to talk, ok? Because truthfully, your mom -- she's actually a pretty clumsy chick.
Kendall: I am not. I'm not, I'm not.
Ryan: Wait, I'm sorry. Wait, wait -- what?
Kendall: Take that back.
Ryan: Just -- shh, shh.
Kendall: I'm not clumsy.
Ryan: Would you be quiet? What was that? He's trying to say something.
Ryan: Ok, yeah.
Ryan: Oh. Spike says it's time. It's time for his mom to hold him.
Zach: Be a good boy, Junior. Babe and Dixie have done all they can to save you.
J.R.: I know what they've done.
Zach: You do? You sent her to see me? I thought it was her idea.
J.R.: Just stay away from her.
Zach: Hmm. Dixie thinks she can save you, so she asked me to overlook that you almost killed my wife and her son. So this is it. Because of Dixie, this is your one and only mercy pass. Don't screw it up. (Man) from the very start,
Zach: Dixie loves you so much, even you can't wreck that. I don't know, man. I feel sorry for her. She had two kids. One was taken from her and the other one -- well, the other one's you. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Anyway, my compassion for her has limits. If you as much as look at Kendall the wrong way, if you pick up her paper in the morning --
J.R.: Or you'll kill me. I got it.
Zach: Good. Why don't you try to repay your mom by being human for a while? Just pretend. Do the right thing for once. Help find your sister.
[A loud march plays in Gregís grave as he finds a framed photo of Josh.]
Greg: Josh? Oh. Oh.
Josh: So what's stopping you from running off to Grandaddy?
Jamie: I want to be sure of protocol. And who would know better than a staff physician? I mean, you're concerned with the image and welfare of the hospital, right? Well, I better get my facts straight. So, who did the ambushing and first-degree kissing?
Jamie: A doctor forcing his intentions on a nurse? Oh, that sounds like sexual harassment.
Julia: And grounds for dismissal, according to the handbook, especially when the nurse in question was asleep at the time of the lip-on-ear contact.
Jamie: Wow. Were there any extenuating circumstances, doctor? Were you sleep-deprived, on medication? I mean, he has been under a lot of pressure with his dad disappearing and all.
Julia: No, there's no excuse, and the sleazebag defense won't fly, either.
Jamie: So I guess the only question is, do I go straight to the chief of staff -- you know, my grandpa Joe -- or do I take this outrage to human resources?
Julia: Or to the media.
Jamie: Oh, yeah. They'd love this.
Julia: Wouldn't they?
Jamie: Yeah, but if you do that, then you just feed into people's beliefs that evil is inherited.
Josh: You know, you two do what you got to do. I have patients waiting.
Julia: Well, see if you can keep your lips off of them.
[Spike fusses as Ryan places his son in Kendallís waiting arms.]
Kendall: He's perfect. I'm the luckiest woman on earth. Luckiest.
Ryan: And the most confident.
Kendall: Yeah. Of course. There's a nurse in the other room. I think I just want to stay like this, just until he gets, you know, in kindergarten.
Ryan: I'm not sure that it works exactly like that.
Kendall: Yeah, but we could just rent out the hospital. They'll never even know we're here.
Ryan: Interviewing nannies. Come here.
Kendall: No, no, no, wait a minute. No, she doesn't even have any children -- your assistant?
Ryan: No, she's just doing like a screening, you know? She's going to screen them and do background checks. And then you're going to make the final decision, because I -- it's just important to me that you have all the help that you want or that you need.
Kendall: I don't want some -- some nanny. I mean, I -- I don't want Spike thinking some nanny is his mom. I am going to put in more hours than anybody. And I'm going to be the nicest and the most fun --
Ryan: And the prettiest.
Kendall: Yeah, he's smiling!
Kendall: He's cute. And definitely the best-dressed. That's for sure. No one will spend as much time with you as I do. I'm going to teach you all the animal sounds. I'll teach you in English and French.
Kendall: And I'm going to teach you how to count -- how to walk, first.
Kendall: And which girls to stay away from in the sandbox.
Ryan: And I'll just be, like, hanging out on the sidelines, I guess.
Kendall: No. No, I didn't mean that I'd raise him alone.
Ryan: I know.
Kendall: I didn't mean that.
Ryan: I know.
Kendall: You, my love, are going to be surrounded by wonderful, loving family and friends.
Ryan: Including your very hands-on dad, because it's very important that you know I'm not going to be at the office every day all day. I'm going to be around. I want to be there when you take your first steps, ok? In fact, I'm going to be holding your hand. I do, and I want to get all the reports over the phone. Like that -- yeah, holding your hair like that.
Ryan: That's right. And if I'm not right there that second, I'll be there very quickly, because it's only going to take me a little while to get from where I live to where you live.
Kendall: Well, Ryan, it's not like you live right around the corner. Zach's condo. Ryan, why don't you just buy Zachís condo?
Zach: It's too late. I accepted an offer this morning.
Kendall: Oh. Well, honey, tell them that they canít. Tell them no. I mean, the -- the roof is leaking and the bathtub has overflowed and there's mold in the bathroom.
Ryan: Whoa. The realtor should've told me that. Well, you know, I'm the buyer, so --
Kendall: Are you kidding me? Really? Oh, you're not as dumb as you look. All right. That is -- that is wonderful. Isn't it?
Ryan: I'm not going to be -- obviously, I won't be with him at the courtyard full-time, just a couple nights a week, so that I can -- I don't know, so that I can be there if Kendall needs me.
Zach: He looks great.
Kendall: He's tube-free. Hmm. You should've seen him. His beautiful eyes were open, he was looking everywhere.
Ryan: It's just -- it's very important to me that I -- I pull my weight and if I'm close, like across the courtyard, that way I can -- you know, I can relieve you in the middle of the night, so you can get some rest, that's all.
Kendall: It makes sense. It would be really good to have you across the courtyard.
Ryan: I think you two should -- should talk about it, make sure that you're both fine with it.
Zach: Talking about it won't make any difference.
Simone: Did you forget about Kendall? Once again, no business sense, no basic arithmetic skills. Babe, yes, you have stock, but when it becomes vote-wise -- well, let's see. Let's break it down for you -- here's you and here's me and Kendall. Let's count, shall we? One, two -- oh, we trump your one little vote. Capisce?
Babe: Not the finger I'd have given you, but --
Babe: Yeah, it's pretty clear.
Danielle: You're not going to call Kendall in here for a vote, are you?
Simone: Oh, wait, no. That is being left up to Babe. I mean, I am not about to be the one that would wrench Kendall away from her adorable son when he almost died for reasons we all know too well.
Danielle: Yeah, at the hands of a wealthy thug who walks free.
Erin: Uh-huh. I think -- I think interrupting Kendallís time with Spike would be a really great way to score you some points there, Babe -- force her to come down here and run interference, because you can't get along with your co-workers. I think she would sympathize. I think that she would want to give you a pep talk, maybe even take you out to lunch and discuss your bright future here at Fusion.
Simone: Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I think you're on to something.
Danielle: Maybe we've been too hasty.
Erin: Call the hospital, because Kendallís out of her class now, and she's at the Neonatal Unit looking at her baby, praying for him, hoping that he gets to come home soon. So you -- you call her, and you tell her that you got a real emergency. Poor you, poor dissed Babe. It's -- it's inhuman what's been done to you -- you, who have never hurt anyone else in your entire life. Call Kendall, because I would like to hear what she has to say, and I will, we all will. You won't even have to put her on speakerphone.
Simone: Oh, yeah.
Simone: She'll be heard in Llanview.
Danielle: In Hollywood, in galaxies far, far away actually.
Babe: Wow. So you guys are all against me, huh?
Simone: Wow, she's quick, this one.
Babe: Oh, it's not news.
Danielle: Well, it took you a little while to catch on, though.
Erin: Well, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your priorities. What are you trying to prove by staying here?
Simone: Yeah, where you're not wanted.
Erin: Yeah. You could be at home with your kid being the mother that he needs.
Erin: Just forget all this merchandising and flow charts and just -- you concentrate on being a good mom.
Babe: You know, I would -- I would love to hear you give Kendall that exact same speech. Give up business so you don't neglect your son?
Kendall: Spike needs both his parents. It's just as important for Ryan to be there as it is --
Zach: I'm all for it. Apparently, the buyer grossly overpaid.
Ryan: Huh. Well, you know, what can I say? I really wanted the place.
Zach: Now you got it.
Kendall: How about that? You are going to have Mommy, Daddy, your stepdaddy, and maybe even a nanny all looking after you, taking care of you, loving you. Hey, you guys? You guys, look. Look. He's holding on to me.
Zach: He's never going to let go.
Kendall: Ooh, my little boy. I love you. You know that. You know you're safe with me.
Ryan: You're safe with all of us. All of us are here to take care of you.
Erin: I don't think anyone is going to have to give Kendall advice on parenting. She's just so damn grateful that her little baby survived.
Danielle: No thanks to you-know-who.
Babe: I think we all know what happened.
Erin: And no thanks to the man you can't tear yourself away from, the man who you wouldn't even let go to prison for nearly killing Kendall and her baby. It's interesting, isn't it? I mean, the son that you treasure -- you want him to have Mommy and Daddy at his side no matter what the cost, but never mind the fact that Daddy wanted to murder Mommy.
Babe: You leave my son out of this.
Erin: You love Little Adam, you worship him, even. But Ryan and Kendallís baby -- doesn't matter.
Babe: That is crazy, and you know it.
Erin: Oh, so, he almost died -- so what?
Simone: Yeah, no punishment for the rat who almost killed him.
Babe: I am not having this fight again.
Simone: What kind of a moron who uses their kid's birthday for a password?
Erin: I'm sorry -- "password" -- did you -- did you erase her files?
Simone: And the problem with that would be? Erin, you can't be on two sides at once, ok? Sometimes, you have to lie.
Erin: Yeah, that's -- that's very true. I was willing to give Babe the benefit of the doubt until she helped J.R. walk.
J.R.: Hi. I'm here for a test.
J.R. Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. J.R. Chandler.
Josh: Hey, Kimberly? How would you like to take a nice, long break?
Julia: Your lips are superior.
Jamie: Stop trying others.
Julia: Why so salty?
Jamie: Hmm. Sorry about that.
Julia: No, no, it's not a criticism. I like my margaritas with salt, too. Just curious. No answer -- ok.
Jamie: A bad, kind of a rough morning.
Julia: Oh, were you up early digging ditches?
Jamie: Close enough.
Greg: Oh. More water. Energy bars. Oh. Josh's picture. Oh.
Disguised voice: This is your wake-up call, Madden. Ready for today? It's the first day of the rest of your life.
Julia: We should talk.
Jamie: What, rising interest rates, global warming?
Julia: Oh, no.
Jamie: Close calls in quarantined rooms?
Julia: That one.
Jamie: You know, I want to revisit that one, too.
Julia: Ok. I said we should talk.
Jamie: You can keep talking if you want to.
Julia: Without distractions.
Jamie: Oh. Who's distracting who?
Julia: "Whom." Jamie, we need to get a few things straight.
Jamie: You know, that doesn't sound like much fun. I have a better idea.
Julia: I'm not going to be able to fight you, am I?
Jamie: You can try if you think it'll be more fun.
Julia: I just seem to forget everything when you're around.
Jamie: Well, that's not really a serious condition. I have a surefire treatment. Want to try it?
J.R.: Look, I'm supposed to leave a sample.
Josh: Fill her up. What can I say? We're understaffed.
Greg: Oh. This picture, this -- all of this stuff. How did you get all of this here?
Disguised voice: Welcome back, Dr. Madden. Sorry this is another recording, and I'm not there in person, but when I did drop in to see you, you ignored me.
Greg: Oh -- what? What? You dug me up? You've restocked me with supplies?
Disguised voice: How's your hangover? Those barbiturates can be nasty. I'd drink a lot of water if I were you -- flush out your system.
Greg: Damn you. Damn you! You can't get away with this. You can't keep digging me up and -- damn you! Somebody will see you. Somebody will see. Somebody will get me out of here!
Disguised voice: No need to thank me. Taking care of you is my top priority. Don't worry, I won't let you die of dehydration. I'll keep you alive for as long as it takes. How do you think you'll feel after being in that cozy coffin for weeks, months? We could go on for years and years.
[As music plays, Julia and Jamie make out in the shower.]
Singer: You look into my eyes, I go out of my mind. I can't see anything 'cause this love's got me blind. I can't help myself. I can't break the spell. I can't even try. I'm in over my head. You got under my skin. I got no strength at all in the state that I'm in, and my knees are weak and my mouth can't speak. Fell too far this time
Singers: Baby, I'm too lost in you, caught in you, lost in everything about you, so deep I can't sleep. I can't think. I just think about the things that you do, you do. I'm too lost in you too lost in you, oh, I'm lost
Kendall: Hello, ladies. Ahem. Who is the most perfect child in the entire world?
Erin: My nephew, Spike?
Simone and Danielle: Spike?
Kendall: Mm-hmm. And who is officially healthy, very wealthy, and soon to be very, very wise?
Erin: Oh, my nephew!
Simone: Oh, Spike?
Kendall: Yeah! La.
Kendall: "Yum" is right. Ok, you guys, listen -- we went over there and he has no more tubes.
Simone: Oh, hey.
Kendall: He's free. My baby --
Erin: Oh, my God!
Kendall: My baby is free. My baby is free and he's just like every other little child in this entire world.
Simone: Yes, but he's perfect.
Erin: Oh, was Ryan there?
Kendall: That's true. Was Ryan there? Well, well, yeah. And I have to tell you, um, Spike saw his daddy.
Erin: Oh, my God.
Kendall: Yeah, he opened his eyes, and they're gorgeous, and they're --
Erin: Of course they are.
Kendall: Big and beautiful.
Simone: Oh. Ok, and the champagne.
Kendall: The champagne is chilled and ready for a toast.
Kendall: Of course, I can't join you, because I'm fresh from my hospital stay, so it's all to you guys.
Erin: Well, to Spike.
Kendall: To Spike and to another new business venture. Now, you guys remember the partners, they wanted to open this big club downstairs?
Kendall: Well, their big backer backed out.
Simone: Oh, no. Oh, please don't tell me we're going to be stuck with some kind of tacky --
Kendall: No, no, no, no, no, no -- us.
Kendall: We're going to open our own bar -- yes, our own bar.
Kendall: Think about it, you guys, and really see it. See it.
Simone: Oh, I am. Oh, my God.
Simone: Oh, that's brilliant.
Kendall: Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? It's us. It's modern -- it's modern, it's sleek, sort of -- "sort of stylish" -- very, very stylish and, of course, sassy.
Kendall: So, ok, wait -- check out the name, you guys. You're going to love this. What do you think of -- Confusion?
Erin: Oh. Oh.
Danielle: I love it.
Erin: Oh, that's --
Danielle: Cool with a sense of humor.
Kendall: Oh, yeah.
Simone: Oh, can you please pour me a Confusion cosmo?
Kendall: Or maybe a Confusionatini where the most elegant, fabulous people will make deals and make dates and get things on.
Erin: Can we do this?
Danielle: I'm liking it.
Kendall: "Can we"?
Babe: Not a chance in hell.
J.R.: Not a chance in hell.
Josh: Well, no sample, no test. Your sobriety is suspect. It's like refusing a Breathalyzer, but worse. I'll have to report you.
J.R.: I'll go to the john.
Josh: No, you're not going to be able to do that, either, because the men's room was flooded this morning. So you're just going to have to think of something else. Like Babe, for instance -- beautiful, amazing Babe, who deserves so much more. I'm just wondering how you got her to step up for you. Blackmail, drugs, hypno?
J.R.: Surf's up.
Ryan: I'm glad you're cool with the whole condo thing. It's just -- it was important for me to run it by Kendall before, you know, I mentioned it to you, that's all. It just made a lot of sense to me. You know, I can't be a lot closer to my kid than in your old place and that's honestly the only reason why I made the bid, you know? I want to make it clear that I have no intention whatsoever to make any trouble for you two. You don't believe me. You seem a little distracted at the moment.
Zach: Spike's an engaging kid.
Ryan: Mm-hmm. Or your mind's on Greg Madden and where you have him stashed.
Disguised voice: Death's not even a way out of it. Kate's your ticket back to the world, to fresh air and mobility. Come on back. Give up the exact location of Dixie Martinís daughter, the name of the family who adopted her, and their address. Now is the time. Spit it out, Doctor. Now is the time. Now is the time. Now is the time. Now is the time. Now is the time.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Babe: You will not open a bar in this building.
Kendall: I got two words for you, Babe -- done deal.
Ryan: Madden was alone with Kendall at the clinic during the blackout, and I just can't help but wonder if Spike could be --
Zach: Don't think it.
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