AMC Transcript Friday 4/7/06

All My Children Transcript Friday 4/7/06


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Di: Tad!

Tad: Yeah. I know. What's up?

Di: Oh, I -- I just -- I wasn't expecting you.

Tad: Yeah. I know. What's up? Well, what? Did I catch you in the middle of some kind of flustered flagrante?

Di: Hey -- what kind of question is that?

Tad: Don't get upset. A guy down at the lobby, you know, next to the elevators, told me I could look for you on this floor. I thought maybe you'd conned Zach into a power office.

Di: Oh, no, no. This isn't my office.

Tad: And I can see that. But in my line of work, if somebody opens a hotel room door and gives you that look, there's some kind of secret tryst going on.

Di: No, it's -- no, it's --

Tad: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.

Di: It's a VIP suite.

Tad: Really, VIP? Who? And why do they rate a visit from you?

Di: Nobody.

Tad: Uh -- nobody VIP?

Di: No, nobody.

Tad: Really?

Di: I mean, nobody's in -- nobody's here. I was just -- I was checking the room, making sure it's -- it's ready, and it is.

Tad: It is? Shipshape and chichi and ready for your next very impressive patron?

Di: Yeah. So -- so we can --

Tad: So we can take the dime tour. Ooh, I've always wanted to play in one of these bad boys. What? Don't look at me like that. Come on. Who's it going to hurt?

[While Greg waits under the hot stage lights, Erica mixes a couple of her poison pills into a pitcher and takes it to the set of her show.]

Erica: Poor Greg. Help is on the way.

Kendall: Oh -- this can't be happening.

Jonathan: It is. I mean, it's a -- a surprise baby shower for you and -- and your baby.

Lily: Yes, it's a ritual of celebration and welcoming, usually held by the family and friends of the mother-to-be.

Jonathan: Well, we didn't have much time, so we decorated as fast as we could. Doesn't it -- doesn't it make you think of happy -- happy baby things? And these -- we -- we got all these gifts for your little boy.

Lily: Your face isn't smiling. Are you mad at us?

[From her hiding place in the bathroom, Dixie phones Zach for help.]

Zach: Slater. Hello?

Dixie: Zach?

Zach: Hello?

Tad: Aha. So this is how the swinging high rollers live.

Di: Just a room like, any other.

Tad: The hell it is. This ain't no minibar. Either I'm shrinking or these suckers are full-size.

Di: Hmm.

Tad: Not to mention filled with first-class hooch. And look at this. Come to papa, baby. Hmm-hmm. Ah, yes, just as I suspected -- designed by NASA to feel like a cloud and conform to your every curve. You know, I've heard if you do the nasty on one of these, you disappear into it. Yep. Eight hours on this sucker, I wouldn't mind losing my life savings. Speaking of which, I'll bet you 20 bucks there's a 1st-Edition Gideon’s Bible in there. [Tad opens the bedside table drawer and finds a red silk jewelry pouch.] So what's the deal? Now the casino starts supplying jewelry?

Erica: Oh, you poor man. Excuse me, Annie. I think we have to cool this man off before we can do anything else for him.

Greg: Is it always this hot in here?

Erica: The lights are murder, aren't they? Sorry. Sorry that the electricians have to set the lights while you're here in makeup, but it will save time.

Greg: Oh, whatever works for -- for you and -- of course, for your lovely show.

Erica: Well, you're a gentleman right down to the end, aren't you, even while you're melting. My goodness, I don't know if you should drink this or I should just pour it over your head.

Greg: What is it?

Erica: Oh, it's nothing very exotic. Actually, it's just some mineral water.

Greg: Oh, perfect. You think of everything.

Erica: For you, I'm willing to go the distance.

Greg: Huh.

Ryan: Erica?

[While looking for Erica in the studio, Ryan spots her and Greg on the monitor.]

Ryan: You cannot be serious.

Greg: To our success. I hope I don't embarrass you.

Erica: As if you ever could.

Greg: Hmm. What is this?

Erica: I beg your pardon?

Greg: Well, it's -- it's different. I can't quite -- I can't quite figure it out.

Erica: Well, there's a little key lime juice in there, and -- and if -- if you like, I can make it plain.

Greg: Oh, no, no, no, this is perfectly fine. It's actually -- it's very refreshing. Thank you.

Erica: Well, it should do the trick.

Di: Let me -- no, no, no, let me see that.

Tad: Not so fast. Hmm. For all I know, I just stumbled across some third-world country's crown jewels.

Di: Tad, let me take it to the front desk.

Tad: Right. You're no fun. All I can say is you're lucky I was here to check the place out, you know? God forbid your next VIP should check in and think you didn't clean the place.

Di: Huh.

Tad: Hey -- maybe I should check out the bathroom. Maybe you got one of those toilets with a shower in it.

Di: Oh, no, no, no, it's -- it's not that grand. No.

Tad: We could see if the Jacuzzi's working --

Di: Yeah --

Tad: Seats 10.

Di: No, it's -- it's really not that nice.

Tad: Oh, sure it is. It's marble, it's got gold fixtures -- you can play with them.

Di: Um -- no. You know what, Tad? Let's -- let's go to the lounge.

Tad: Let's not and say we did.

[Di laughs]

Tad: Unless I miss my guess, nobody can check into this one unless you give the say-so, right?

Di: Right, but --

Tad: Excellent. Let's enjoy ourselves, shall we?

Di: Tad, no -- we shouldn't.

Tad: Sure we should. Come on. You know you want to.

Di: Well -- no, I work here.

Tad: Yeah, and all work and no play makes --

Di: No, come on -- come on. Someone could walk in and --

Tad: Yeah, and then they'll walk out really quick.


Di: No, we're not kids. This is -- this is --

Tad: Speak for yourself. You know what? Look, if somebody walks in, I'll just pretend I'm checking in anyway, you know?

Di: Oh.

Tad: Slap down a little plastic, we can play all night -- lick, lick, lick.

Di: No --

Tad: Oh.

Di: I'm -- Tad, I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable with this!

Tad: Ah! Then I'm not doing my job correctly.

Di: Ok --

Tad: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back, back, back, back, back. Now, let's review, shall we, my little sex poodle? It's spring, we're engaged, and from where I'm kneeling, you are really fun to look at. So, if that's not an excuse to act like a rutting teenager, I don't know what is.

Kendall: Oh, well. Gosh, I -- I wasn't expecting this. How -- how did you guys put all this together?

Lily: Well, if we told, it wouldn't be a surprise.

Jonathan: Some people don't like surprises.

Lily: You don't like surprises?

Jonathan: Is it you don't like surprises or you don't like me? I was hoping that this would help you change your mind, so that you wouldn't be afraid of me.

Kendall: Um -- Lily, this -- this was really, really sweet of you, and it's always great to see you, but I --

Jonathan: It's ok, Kendall. It's ok. I'll go.

Lily: No. No, Jonathan -- Jonathan went to the mall, because I don't like to go to the mall -- I don't like all the people and the red -- and he bought you and your baby all these wonderful things. And, plus, I don't think you can have a real baby shower with just one person and the mother-to-be.

Kendall: Um -- Jonathan, thank you very much for everything, but I'm really -- I -- I'm not really ready for this right now.

Lily: Jonathan is very kind and considerate, and he's very excited about being an uncle.

Jonathan: Only I don't have to ever see you or my nephew if it's going to make you nervous. I -- I could -- I could look at photographs or -- or watch videos now and then. But Ryan, Kendall, Ryan -- he's going to be a wonderful father, and he's not guilty of the things I did. So please, please, let him be a father to his son.

Erica: My God, Ryan. Is -- is everything ok? Is it Kendall? Is it the baby?

Ryan: They're fine, Erica. They're fine.

Erica: Well, they told me downstairs that this was urgent --

Ryan: I followed you and Greg here from the hospital.

Erica: I -- I don't understand.

Ryan: And neither did I until I saw that.

Erica: What? What do you mean?

Ryan: Forget it, Erica, I know what you're doing, and I know why you're doing it. And, believe me, I would be all over it if I thought there was the slightest chance that you could get away with it, but you can't. So I'm here, and I'm telling you to stop it before it's too late.

Di: Ok, you know what? I have an idea. I have an idea. How about I play hooky for the rest of the day away from work, if you take me away from all of this?

Tad: Yeah, I know what you mean -- all this five-star luxury can really be a drag.

Di: No, no, no! You know, the casino's where I work. I want to play somewhere else.

[Tad sighs]

Tad: Fine, let me get this straight.

Di: Mm-hmm.

Tad: I get you --

Di: Mm-hmm.

Tad: For the whole day?

Di: Mm-hmm.

Tad: Wherever I want, I can do whatever I want?

Di: Mm-hmm -- within reason.

Tad: Deal. Let's go.

[Just as Tad opens the door to leave, Zach shows up.]

Zach: You found her.

Di: No, no, it's not what you think!

Zach: You found her, and you couldn't resist.

Tad: Look, before you go blowing a gasket --

Zach: Excuse me, Thaddeus, I'm talking to my employee. I gave you a break, and this is how you repay me -- bring your boyfriend up here to the VIP suite?

Tad: I knew it -- you slut. Oh, I'm sorry, you were talking about me. Oh, in case you haven't heard, I got a promotion -- we're engaged. And while I was trying to lure her into a compromising position, your "employee" was doing an impeccable job --

Di: I was here just trying to get the room ready --

Tad: And she deserves a break. You know, if anybody should be buried up to their neck in sand, it's you.

Di: You know what? And -- and the last guest left some personal items here, so -- ahem.

Tad: Yeah, why don't you go yell at some unsuspecting maid, ok?

Di: So I'll have them do another sweep.

Zach: All right.

Tad: Let's go.

[After Tad and Di leave, Dixie emerges from the bathroom.]

Zach: Why don't you put an end to this?

Ryan: Believe me, I wish I didn't have to stop you. Nothing is too bad for Madden, but I just can't -- I can't -- I can't let you do this.

Erica: Greg is here for an interview.

Ryan: Erica, you hate him as much as I do.

Erica: Business is business.

Ryan: You fought for Kendall to drop Madden and find a new Ob-Gyn. You said that he was connected to things that she should never know about.

Erica: Yes, that's true. But I certainly don't plan to ask him about these things on "New Beginnings."

Ryan: And when you found out that Madden was shoving adoption down Kendall’s throat, you said that you would handle it alone. And then when I found you in Madden's office, you told me to trust you, that you would take care of him, that you had everything under control.

Erica: And I do. So, why don't you go on back to the hospital --

Ryan: And now, Erica, all of a sudden the man that you despise is on your television show, and I'm supposed to believe that you don't have a plan?

Erica: Well, of course I have a plan -- I have a job to do.

Ryan: You're going to slaughter him on national television, and, yes, I happen to think he deserves it, and I actually think it's a very good idea, but it's going to backfire. Kendall's not going to thank you for this. She's going to see Madden as the victim, and she's going to hate you for it.

Erica: Well, you know what? Sometimes parents have to do what's best for the child even if the child hates them.

Ryan: Tell me whatever dirt you have on him. Don't expose him on national television. It's only going to amp up Kendall’s loyalty to the guy.

Erica: Ryan, I swear to you I will not air any of Greg's dirty laundry on my show.

Josh: So you finally got the goods on my father? Why don't you share, Erica? What dirt did you dig up?

Erica: You shouldn't be here.

Josh: Oh, you don't have to protect me, Erica. What terrible sins did my father supposedly commit?

Erica: Look, I'm not interested in embarrassing your father or exposing any of his deep, dark secrets -- if he has any. So you can go back to the hospital or wherever.

Josh: Well, it just so happens I'm free this afternoon.

Erica: Well, I'm not, and your father's not. We're busy.

Ryan: Am I the only one getting the message here? Erica doesn't want you here. Time to go.

Erica: You need to leave now. Ok, if you need an escort from security, I'd be happy to provide that to you.

Ryan: That was a little too easy.

Erica: Huh. Of all the days –

Kendall: So no one else is coming?

Lily: No. It doesn't have to be a long party. Just open your presents.

Kendall: Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure --

Jonathan: Hmm -- it's ok, Kendall, you don't --

Lily: No, please?

Jonathan: You don't have to open them --

Lily: Please?

Kendall: Ok, all right.

Lily: Good.

Kendall: Show me the presents, I'll open the presents.

Jonathan: Ok. Hold on.

Kendall: Oh. Right.

Jonathan: Oh --

Kendall: Oh --

Jonathan: Ok, this one. I -- I got this one so that you could put it next to his crib. When -- when you're reading to him, the little duck will -- will watch him. Ok, ok, and then this one -- I got this guy -- I got this guy, so that he'll always know that he has a friend around.

[While looking at the sweet little baby things, Kendall recalls the day she made her decision and signed away her maternal rights.]

Greg's voice: Kendall. How nice of you to come and see --

Kendall: Give me the papers. I want to sign and file and be done with it for good. I want to give my baby up for adoption.

Lily: And these -- I asked Jonathan -- I asked Jonathan to get these, because a baby's eyes can be really sensitive, and you'll both look cute.

Kendall: Oh. Oh, these are -- these are really nice, they are. You know what, though? I'm -- I'm really tired. I -- you know, pregnant women get tired quickly, so I -- I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted right now.

Lily: Aw, that's too bad -- we brought cupcakes.

Jonathan: No, that's ok. We -- we should go. You should get your rest.

Kendall: Yeah. Thank you. Thanks. Um -- you know what? Could you -- could you take the cupcakes with you, because I'm trying to stay away from sugar.

Lily: Ok.

Jonathan: Ok.

Lily: Ok.

Kendall: Thanks.

Zach: The woman I love still thinks that Madden can protect her and her child.

Dixie: I'm sorry. I can't interfere.

Zach: Right, because it would blow up your plans. What about Kendall’s plans, and her child?

Dixie: Well, you are going to have to do it. You're going to have to find a way to get them away from him.

Zach: You told me you lost your child because of Madden, but you can't tell Kendall. Ok. I can.

Dixie: No, you can't.

Zach: Why not? Because people are going to find out that you're alive? What do you want me to do? Why protect you instead of Kendall and her child?

Dixie: No. I never said that.

Zach: Well, then what is it? What -- what are we doing here? You -- you don't care about Kendall and her baby. Who do you care about? What, your family, maybe -- Di, your sister? She's in a bit of a pickle right now, too. She's engaged to your ex, the father of the baby you lost, and still you want her to keep your secret. It must've been fun, right, hiding in the bathroom. Listening.

Dixie: Yes, it was a thrill I'll never forget.

Zach: Ok, well, your secret is going to come out. People know -- Di knows, Del knows -- he's probably writing a chapter about it right now. Who else? Oh, yes, of course -- David Hayward. He's got your back, I'm sure, and now you've had to face it with Madden, but you still haven't settled anything.

Dixie: I'm going to do it. I'm going to find a way to make him tell me the truth, all right, and then I will leave. I just need time.

Zach: Why would he tell you anything? Why? He's much better off exposing you, getting -- getting you off his back.

Dixie: You know what? I've obviously imposed on your generosity long enough.

[Zach sighs]

Dixie: I'm sorry I put you in this position. I will just find another place to live, and then I will leave.

Zach: What do you think? You're going to walk out of here, and you're out of my life, out of Kendall’s life? You've told me things, I know things, now, it's not that easy. You're screwing with a lot of people's lives, including your own, and I think you know that.

Tad: Ok. This is just the beginning, right?

Di: Mm-hmm.

Tad: You start with a couple pieces of plastic, a tail, and you work your way up from there. You play your cards right, we could be talking about sterling and zirconium.

Di: Uh -- no --

Tad: No, no, I intend to shower you with riches and gifts.

Di: I like the kite. I don't need anything else.

Tad: Except me.

Di: Except you.

Tad: And a new boss. Well, how do you feel about the entertainment industry? Because I happen to be very close with a certain television goddess.

Erica: Ryan, I am not going to draw and quarter Greg Madden on "New Beginnings." It is not that kind of show.

Ryan: It hasn't been up till now.

Erica: Look, I can't stand and argue with you. Greg is waiting for me.

[Glancing at the monitor in her office, Erica is horrified to see Josh about to pour himself a drink from her poisoned pitcher.]

Erica: Oh, my God.

Josh: This is crazy.

Greg: What, that Erica is going to interview me?

Josh: No, that they're torturing you in this sweatbox.

Greg: Oh, Josh, I think millions of people would quite like to be tortured this way.

Josh: By your precious Erica? Come on, Dad, this is medically unsound. You should be at home. You know it.

Greg: Josh, I'm doing a sit-down interview. I'm not running a -- doing a triathlon. Besides, I'm hydrating.

Josh: With water. Big deal. It's probably warm.

Greg: Stop worrying, Joshua.

[Running to the stage, Erica grabs the cup of poisoned water from Josh's hands before he has a chance to drink it.]

Erica: Give me that! Excuse me, Greg. It's just that Josh and I have already spoken.

Josh: Oh, yeah, yeah. We had a little chat. She doesn't want me here, because she's afraid I'm going to interfere with your interview.

Greg: Well, it is Erica's call, Joshua.

Erica: Well, I just get this sickening sense of déjà vu -- you sitting in my chair, smiling, and -- and acting cordial, and all the while you were actually stabbing me in the back.

Greg: We understand, Erica.

Erica: Thank you.

Josh: Erica, my father shouldn't even be here.

Erica: Please leave now.

Josh: I've come in a professional capacity. I'm here to keep an eye on my cardiac patient who just so happens to be my father. And while I'm here, I'm going to keep the other eye on you, in case you have something in store for my father.

Erica: Greg, whatever you think of me, I do not pull surprise ambushes on my guests. Now, will you please leave? Do I need to call security?

Greg: Go on, please, Josh. You don't have to stay for the interview. I trust Erica. And as much as I appreciate your concern, I will be all right. Go on back to the hospital.

[Still in Erica's office, a suspicious Ryan watches the action on stage through the monitor.]

Kendall: Oh, God!

[Once alone, Kendall starts tearing down all the baby shower decorations, stuffs them into a plastic bag, and takes out the trash.]

Jack: What's going on?

Kendall: Oh. Tell my mother you can't change my mind.

Jack: Your mother?

Kendall: Yeah, she's crazy if she thinks I'll sit here and listen to you plead Ryan's case.

Jack: Whoa -- whoa, your mother didn't send me over here, and I'm certainly not here to speak for Ryan.

Kendall: Oh, really? Ok, so you're just strolling by? You thought you would just drop in?

Jack: Please, don't get upset, all right?

Kendall: Oh -- I just endured a farce of a baby shower. Don't tell me what to think or how to feel.

Jack: All right. Why don't we walk inside here and just talk --

Kendall: Stop, Jack, stop, ok? I'm not stupid.

Jack: Kendall, please calm down. What -- what did I do here?

Kendall: Why are you so worried about me? You really should be worrying about Lily.

Jack: Why should I be worried about Lily?

Kendall: Oh, you don't know? Well, she's joined at the hip to our local serial killer.

Lily: Kendall will start to like you now.

Jonathan: She didn't yell at me or anything. She didn't call me a serial killer -- nothing.

Lily: No, she said, "It was thoughtful," and she'll let someone who does thoughtful things see the baby.

Jonathan: Well, if she does, it's all thanks to you because the baby shower was your idea.

Lily: You know, this could make a big difference to you and me.

Jonathan: You could play with the baby, too!

Lily: Well, just as important, if Kendall starts to like you, then she'll tell Erica, and Erica will start to like you, and then Erica will tell my dad, and then he'll start to like you.

Jonathan: That would be great.

Lily: I know, and then he wouldn't mind that we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Jonathan: I just want everyone to be happy, and especially Ryan. Because Ryan -- Ryan's going to be a great father.

Erica: Thank you, and welcome to a very special "New Beginnings." Today I am so pleased to introduce you to a man who has given countless others their unique new beginnings. Please join me in welcoming the world's premier fertility expert, Dr. Greg Madden.

Greg: Thank you.

Erica: Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me today, Greg.

Greg: Oh, it's entirely my pleasure, thank you.

Erica: Oh, I can't even tell you all how pleased I am to have Dr. Madden as my guest. I mean, this truly is a dream come true.

Zach: You've chased Madden all over the world, and you've finally caught up with him. Congratulations. What do you think he's going to do now? Just going to fall apart and tell you the truth? Why would he do that? He's too smart for that. He's cost you your child, and he's going to want to see what you have in store for him. What, are you going to kill him or take his career -- what?

Dixie: Zach, I just have to find a way to play this out.

Zach: Play it out? Ok, you want to risk your life, that's fine. You want to risk your family's life, that's fine, too. Do not play with Kendall. She's not a bargaining chip.

Dixie: I'm not doing that. That was never my intention. Look, I'll -- I'll think of something, ok? I will -- I will do something to protect her.

Zach: What? What are you going to do? What? If you walk out that door right now, you're going to turn your back on your biggest asset, and that is my trust in you. So give me some information on Madden, I will take care of him. What did he do? What did he do to your child?

Dixie: I can't. I cannot tell you without risking too much, all right? There has to be another way.

Zach: You lost your child because of this man. Now, tell me what happened to your daughter. What is it, Dixie? What happened?

Dixie: Nothing, all right? Just stop it!

[Dixie sighs]

Dixie: I've said enough, ok? I've told you enough!

Di: Now, Zach’s not that bad. Tad, he took a huge chance on me.

Tad: He's a pompous, arrogant jerk. You could have any job, and a much better boss. Oh, sweetheart, don't tell me that lecture actually got to you?

Di: No, I'm not worried about Zach.

Tad: Well, something's bothering you.

Di: No, it's just you -- you had to challenge him. You wouldn't leave it alone.

Tad: Of course, I did. He was totally out of line.

Di: Well, you know what I think?

Tad: No, I don't.

Di: Hmm?

Tad: What?

Di: I think you should go fly a kite!

[Di laughs]

Di: If you can catch me.

[Di laughs]

Dixie: I'm sorry, ok, I'm sorry. Just -- would you let it go?

Zach: You get that there's too much at stake here, right?

Dixie: I get it, I get it. I get how you feel about Kendall and her baby, all right? I get it. I just need a little time, if you don't mind.

Zach: How much time?

Dixie: Oh. Are you kidding me?

[Turning on the TV, Dixie is shocked to see Greg on Erica's show.]

Erica: Would you like some water?

Greg: Uh -- no, no, thank you. I'm -- I'm -- where was I? I'm sorry.

Erica: Uh -- a film you saw on television as a boy.

Greg: Oh, yes -- yes, it was -- it was time-lapse photography. It was a -- a seed that sprouted and -- and it bloomed, like, all within a matter of minutes. It transfixed me. My mother -- she found me pulling at her potted plants trying to make them grow.

Erica: And this inspired your life's work?

Greg: Yeah. I doubt I understood the word "reproduction" -- I probably hadn't even heard it at the time -- but just watching that life take hold and the idea of just guiding its development, it kind of -- it captivated me.

Erica: You became obsessed with mastering the creation of life.

Greg: It was -- it was a turning point in my life, yes. Certainly just the miracle of life and the possibility of being able to control it, I -- it obsessed me, yes.

Erica: Oh, well, my goodness, it sounds as if you had a full-blown God complex.

Greg: Well, some people might view it that way.

Erica: Ah. Well, I -- I don't know what our audience sees, but I certainly do. I don't think it's over-dramatizing to say that you have the power to create life.

Greg: No, that's -- that is true. It is a great responsibility, and it's not one that I take lightly.

Erica: And you will go to any lengths to help people get children.

Greg: In some cases, yes.

Erica: "In -- in some cases"? Only in some? What makes some people more worthy than others?

Greg: There are evaluations, and there are tests.

Erica: Conducted by you?

Greg: My concern is the child's future.

Erica: And who will raise him or her properly and who will love the child the most?

Greg: No, it's not a contest. It's -- it's about the child's well-being.

Erica: Well, but some people who haven't passed your test -- they might not agree. They may not see it that way.

Greg: Well, there are two sides to every argument, of course.

Erica: Tell me something -- in the hindsight, do you ever have any remorse, any -- any regrets about the choices you've made for people?

Greg: I try not to let my emotions interfere.

Erica: And what about their emotions, their -- their pain, their loss?

Greg: Oh, my work is about -- is about fulfilling dreams.

Erica: But if you choose not to help a couple, now, aren't you destroying their dreams and -- and taking away all their hope?

Greg: Well, some people might view it that way, but, I mean, there are some women, no matter how strong their desire to be mothers, they're just -- they're not meant to be mothers.

Erica: In your opinion?

Greg: It's not opinion, it's -- it's fact. If I can prevent one child from experiencing the hardship of inferior parenting, then -- then my work is --

Erica: "Inferior parenting." Is that based on income? Ethnicity? Religion?

Greg: Of course, it's -- it's not. It's -- it's harder to adopt a pet from a shelter than it is to have a child. I mean, to -- to drive a car, you have to have a license, but with a child, you don't --

Erica: "A pet from a shelter."

[Greg sighs]

Erica: So you're saying that in just one or two interviews, you can decide who is worthy to be a parent, who deserves children?

Greg: Well, over the years, I have developed a sixth sense.

Erica: And -- and you're never wrong?

Greg: I've honed my instincts.

Erica: Through years of playing God?

Greg: Just by doing my work, by perfecting my -- my work.

Erica: Yes, and -- and all that on-the-job training, during which time you made life-and-death decisions for how many couples? How many parents?

Greg: I don't see what difference that makes.

Erica: No, of course. Of course. It doesn't matter, because although nature sometimes makes mistakes, Greg Madden never does.

Greg: I only -- I want your -- I want your audience to see how important my work –

[Erica gasps as Greg collapses on the floor.]

Lily: If Kendall hadn't have been so tired, maybe we could have stayed and invited Erica and Reggie and my dad and maybe your brother and sister over and showed them what we bought her.

Jonathan: I think Kendall really liked the lamp. Oh, I forgot to put the rope ladder up.

Jack: Get down here, Lily. Now, Lily. And, Jonathan, I want you down here, too.

Di: I mean, if we -- no, we could follow it. It'll come down, eventually.

Tad: Yeah, in the next state.

Di: I loved that kite.

Tad: Baby, it's a kite. It's not a vintage car.

Di: Yeah, but I loved it. I mean, why -- why'd the string have to break? We should sue whoever made it.

Tad: Would you forget the kite? Please? Besides, I got another gift for you.

Di: Oh, no. Well, don't give it to me. I'll just lose it.

Tad: Oh, I don't think so. This is pretty secure. I don't think the wind's going to carry this away.

Di: Well, then I'll drop it, and it'll be buried in the sand.

Tad: Well, no, then maybe the wind would blow the sand off it, and I would just have to put it right back where it belongs.

Di: What did you do?

Tad: And then, years from now, sometime around our anniversary, I'd probably go fishing. And then I'd bring the catch home, and you would find it again when you were cleaning fish.

Di: Oh -- I'm not cleaning the fish.

Tad: All right, I'll clean the damn fish, all right? And then I would find it while I was making you a delicious trout almondine. Open it. Now I know, it's not a kite, but --

Di: Oh -- it's -- oh, it's gorgeous.

[Di opens the little box and sees a sparkling diamond ring.]

Tad: Here. Now, I know this is just a formality, because I've already heard the answer. I just want to hear you say it again. Tell me you'll marry me.

Di: I can't.

Erica: I'm sure it's just the excitement, and some of the lights. Can we turn some of these lights off, please?

Josh: It's his heart condition.

Erica: Please -- please do not be alarmed. I'm sure that Dr. Madden just needs to catch his breath. And then I'm sure that he'll feel much better.

Josh: He's not breathing!

Erica: Ryan? Have you been here this whole time?

Ryan: Yeah, I have. I -- I saw the whole thing.

[Josh performs CPR on his father.]

Josh: Come on, Pop! Come on! Come on, breathe!

Kendall: Hmm.

[Sitting on her sofa, Kendall turns on the TV and watches the action on her mother's show then dashes off.]

Josh: Breathe, damn it! Come on, Pop! Breathe for me!

Ryan: Yes, yes, I need an ambulance at the "New Beginnings" studio.

[With Zach standing by her side, Dixie also watches what's happening to Greg on TV.]

Dixie: Bastard. You can't die. You can't die. You have to tell me where my daughter is.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Kendall (to Erica): Mother, what have you done to him?

Josh (administering defibrillation to his father): Clear!

Ryan (to Erica): If Greg dies, you will be guilty of murder.

Di (to Tad): I don't want to hurt you, and there's still so much you don't know.

Zach (to Di): Your daughter survived the accident in Switzerland.

Di (to Zach): Yes.

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