All My Children Transcript Monday 2/13/06
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
Janet: In and out and in. Oh, Amanda, how many nights I stayed up at your bedside watching you sleep. I could get my breathing so in sync with yours, it was like we were the same person. I wish we could be in sync like that right now. Mommy so wishes you understood the reasons for this. It's all for you. Oh, I wish you could be awake for the big finish. Hmm. There's no telling how long that drug I slipped you is going to last. Just know this -- if you don't wake up in time, that all those cruel, callous morons who broke your heart, those backstabbing users who browbeat you and demoralized you and ostracized you? Mommy has taken care of every last one of them. I've covered all my bases. They're all finally going to learn, and you can thank Mommy later.
[Music plays as all the beautiful guests mill around the ballroom.]
Janet: That absolutely gorgeous ballroom, filled to the brim with all those dumb ninnies dressed up in their frou-frou outfits, tripping over one another's feet. Little do they know that their last dance tonight is going to be with Janet from Another Planet.
>> The role of Lily Montgomery is being played by Portia Reiners.
Lily: Jonathan and I are happy when we're with each other.
Jonathan: Ryan, we're really good together.
Jack: There is no "together" when it comes to you and my daughter, do you understand me?
Lily: Don't talk to him like he's dumb, Dad.
Jack: Oh --
Lily: Jonathan is my boyfriend even if you say he's not. I'm not going to stop seeing him, and I'm not going away to school, either.
Ryan: Ok, look, I know this isn't what you guys want to hear. I understand that, and you've become really great friends. I think that's nice, I do, and it's going to make it all the harder and I understand, but you have no choice. This relationship can't happen. I'm sorry, Jonathan, but it's got to end tonight, now.
Jonathan: I'm going to keep seeing Lily as long as she'll let me. And if you and Jack don't like it, that's your problem.
Ryan: Wait, just –
Babe: Don't go getting all quiet and moody on me, J.R. This doesn't change anything. I still love you, and you still love me, and I've got wedding bells on the brain 24/7. All I'm asking is if things don't work out with us I get joint custody. What's not fair about that? Any good mother would do the same. Hey, don't think so hard about it. Just sign, so we can get on with the fun part.
Kendall: Don't even think about it, J.R.
Reporter: Ahem. Good to see you up and about, Mr. Slater. You care to tell the public how you're doing?
Zach: Excuse me.
Kendall’s voice: You don't need to wait for me, Zach, because I'm done with you, and that will never change.
Derek: You look like you're having about as much fun as I am.
Zach: My condolences.
[From behind a door and her mask, Dixie listens in.]
Adam: Don't you think you'd like to maybe take your show on the road, hmm? You bled this town dry with your pretending to be Dixie, crushed a whole, nice, hefty handful of souls. Word on the street is you're no good. So if you're planning on trolling this ball for another poor, rich, grief-stricken family to scam, you might -- you might want to keep your mask on.
Tad: Sounds like good advice. You might want to keep your mask on. I swear if you don't leave her alone, I'm going to smack you so hard, Stuart will hurt.
Tad's voice: Erica, Josh Madden is your son.
Josh: Don't look at me like that, Erica. Don't buy into my father's bull.
Greg: I'm not the one who's being deceitful.
Josh: And I'm not the enemy. All those lies that my father's been feeding you, all that stuff you heard on the tape -- there's a very simple explanation.
Erica: Explain this -- who are you, Josh? Is it possible that you don't even know?
Josh: I -- I hate that you have to ask me that, Erica. You know who I am. I am the guy you hired to be your right hand, to make your show the number-one hit that it is, to make your work life easier, to make you look good. And I -- I've become a damn good producer because of you, too. I owe you everything -- absolute respect, gratitude, admiration, and, above all, loyalty.
Erica: So when you were bragging about snatching away my spotlight and predicting that I would be a semi-forgotten celebrity in just a few months, was that the admiration, the respect, or the loyalty speaking? Oh, and when you said that I was spoiled, selfish, and vain, should I chalk that up to just a slip of the tongue?
Josh: Erica, my father set me up. He manipulated me.
Greg: Have you lost your mind?
Erica: As perverse as he is, his forcing you to say these terrible things about me -- that is very difficult to fathom.
Greg: Yeah, it's totally absurd.
Josh: Well, his warped obsession has obviously reached new lows, Erica.
Erica: Oh, yes, I am finding that out.
Josh: He hates that I work so closely with you, Erica. He's always on me about it. That's why I made up all that stuff on the tape -- just to make him back off.
Erica: So you think that's what your father wanted to hear, that you were planning my demise?
Josh: Apparently so.
Erica: Greg actually seemed quite disturbed by all that on the tape.
Greg: I was. I was disturbed, and I am.
Josh: He would say anything to -- to destroy your trust in me. He's a pro when it comes to covering his own tracks. But you got to believe me, Erica, my father can be completely destructive.
Erica: That is the first thing you've said this evening that I totally believe.
Adam: It's a disgrace to her memory, you standing here standing up for this -- this wretched impostor. It's blasphemous.
Tad: No. What's blasphemous is somebody like you using the memory of somebody like Dixie to slam anybody.
Di: No one's forgiven me, Adam, for stealing my sister's identity. I haven't forgiven myself.
Adam: But here's Thaddeus Martin, the one man other than my own son most damaged by your lies, and he's defending you. He's the man who exposed you for the fraud and the crook that you are. He's the man who was supposedly Dixie’s soul mate. Now all of a sudden, he's your new best friend. What happened? Are you so hard-up for your long-lost love that you'd accept this third-rate imitation?
Tad: You bet I am. Let's get some fresh air. It's starting to smell like rotten feet around here.
Adam: Yeah, I can smell it, too. It's a good thing Dixie isn't here to see this -- the love of her life making time with her bottom-feeding half sister. She deserved more. You two, on the other hand, deserve each other.
Tad: He looks a little pink around the gills to you? If we're lucky, he might screech himself into another heart attack.
Di: Adam may be a jerk, Tad, but he also may be right.
Ryan: Yes, ultimately, it is Jack's decision. I mean, he's Lily's father. So if he doesn't want you two spending time together, Jonathan, you have to respect that.
Lily: My father didn't want Greenlee seeing you. That didn't stop you. You didn't care what my father wanted.
Jack: When Greenlee made that choice, she was an adult. You are still a minor child, all right? You're not supposed to be doing things against my wishes.
Jonathan: Mr. Montgomery, Lily and I don't want to break any rules. We -- we just want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. And we want you guys to leave us alone. I mean, no offense.
Ryan: You have to let this go, Hockett, you have to. Breaking up with Lily is best for everyone, ok? Listen, listen, you know how much I love you, right? I mean, you know that I would do anything for you in the entire world. I would never steer you wrong, ever. You trust me, don't you?
Jonathan: Don't you trust me?
Kendall: Don't you dare trust her, J.R. Don't go soft on this skank twice.
Babe: You have no idea what you just walked in on, Kendall.
Kendall: It doesn't matter. Unless you're selling your shares of Fusion, I'm telling him to run for the hills. I'm serious, J.R., just shred that puppy and sprinkle it on her grave before it's too late.
J.R.: I'm totally down with the "friends don't let friends self-destruct" thing, but I can handle Babe myself.
Babe: You want to hate me in the office, Kendall? Fine, I'm used to it. Do your damnedest to slaughter my career, but you keep your scrawny hands out of my personal life.
J.R.: I love you to death, Kendall, but I don't need you, not for this.
Kendall: No, J.R., I would've said the same thing a few hours ago. I would have said, "Thanks, I'm fine, I can handle myself, I don't need your help." But the sad truth is a snake is a snake is a snake. You can dress them up like a prom queen or a butterfly or a bunny, it doesn't matter. The truth is they're all about the bite. And this one here -- how many limbs has she bit off already? Don't do it, J.R.. Don't go back for more. Don't let your guard down. Don't end up like me.
Jamie: I'm looking for Amanda Dillon. You seen her?
Zach: Can't say that I have, but, then, I haven't been looking.
Janet: Patience never was my strong suit. You're so lucky you're asleep. Time passes so much faster when you're in dreamland. I don't want to nap myself, though. I don't want to risk missing the big fireworks. If we're lucky, the explosion will rouse you from your slumber, and you can see Mommy’s masterpiece with your very own eyes!
[In the cellar, gas hisses out of the pipe.]
Janet: Hiss. That basement ought to be filled to the brim with that deadly gas by now. No one has a clue, of course. They're too busy worrying about reapplying their lipstick and refilling their cocktails. Those naughty sinners are so caught up in their own personal dramas, they don't suspect for a second they're in danger. That's their first mistake, because the moment that hot water heater lights up or some idiot slips down to the basement to sneak a smoke -- kaboom! Fire! Don't you just love it? Makes a real statement -- burn in hell!
Janet: Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Oh, let Mommy kiss it. There, is it better? Oh, no. Well, it'll be better soon, honey.
Amanda: Mom, where are we?
Janet: You and I, my sweet angel, are together in the garden shed.
Amanda: What about the Mardi Gras Ball?
Janet: Oh, come here, come here. You can see all the party lights! Well, sort of. It's over there past the bushes and the three fat trees. You kind of have to squint a little.
Amanda: I'm going to take your word for it.
Janet: Well, the view isn't quite as good as I had hoped for, at least not yet.
Amanda: So you're sure that everyone's ok?
Janet: Oh, everyone's fine.
Amanda: And you left the gas valve alone?
Janet: Sweetheart, I told you, everyone is fine. Everyone is at the ball, it is underway, they are dancing and laughing, happy, happy, happy. There is nothing for you to worry about. Everything is perfect. Now, isn't that exactly what you were hoping to hear?
Brooke: Hey. What, what?
Jamie: Tell me you found Amanda.
Brooke: You still haven't found her? Well, this is where you tell your neurotically curious mother why you're so concerned.
Jamie: I'd love to, and I will, just later.
Jonathan: That's just it, Ryan. You -- you say that you trust me and that you believe that the surgery changed me, but then you think I could still hurt Lily.
Ryan: Ok, let me make this very clear. I do not think that you are a danger to Lily. I do think that it's wrong if you continue to see her.
Lily: Then we don't want to hear any more of what you think.
Jack: Look, Ryan wants what's best for his brother, the same way I want what's best for you.
Lily: That's the only time I've ever heard you defend Ryan.
Ryan: Come here. You know, man -- come on -- you know that you're too old for her.
Lily: Demi Moore is 15 years older than Ashton Kutcher. Almanzo Wilder was 10 years older than Laura Ingalls Wilder. Jerry Lee Lewis --
Jack: No, I don't want to hear anything about Jerry Lee Lewis. We got the picture, ok?
Ryan: It's your brain, Jon, the surgery. I mean, you're healing. You're still healing.
Jonathan: I'm better, Ryan. I'm way better. I'm not tripping on my words anymore.
Ryan: You are better, you're right, you are, but you're -- you're just a long way from being perfect, that's all. You're making calls that I know you wouldn't make if you were 100%. It's just your judgment, I know, it just needs a little bit of fine-tuning, that's all.
Jonathan: Like -- like sneaking out on Aidan and Erin.
Ryan: Bad judgment.
Jack: Like coming here tonight at all. Bad judgment.
Ryan: Ignoring Jack's decision about you staying away from Lily -- that's just bad judgment. Look, he knows Lily better than you do, and believe me, I don't agree with most of what Jack thinks about you, but I do understand some of his concerns about you being alone with Lily, I do.
Lily: We're not having sex, if that's what you're thinking.
Ryan: I was thinking how touching is tough for you. And what happens if Jonathan accidentally bumps into you, I mean, and you get upset? What happens? Would he really know how to handle that?
Lily: Jonathan knows I don't like to be touched. He's better at not touching me than anyone.
Ryan: Yeah, but it could happen, Jonathan, and what if she really freaks out? I'm sorry, but what if she does? Would you really know how to handle that? Look, I'm not saying that you're never going to have another girlfriend. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you have to get better. You have to put all your energy into proving to everybody that you're no longer a danger, ok, and that's not going to be easy. And is it really fair putting a sensitive girl like Lily through something that is that tough?
Jonathan: Would you -- would you give me a minute while I say good-bye to Lily?
Tad: Oh, Di, come on. Wait. You know as well as I do you can't listen to a wet blanket like Adam Chandler. The man hasn't been right about anything.
Di: He had my number from day one.
Tad: Even if that were true, it's only because Adam’s got the most to benefit from Dixie being gone. Take it from me, if she were to walk in here right now, miraculously in the flesh, back from the dead, he'd start screaming she was a robot. Ok, you can't go back there, please. I finally know who are you. I -- I appreciate you for who you are. You're Di Henry. You're wonderful. I'm Tad Martin, and the last I checked with the census, Adam Chandler was still a silverback gorilla with bad breath and the world's worst case of hemorrhoids.
Di: What if Dixie did come back? What if she came back and found me here with you?
Tad: How can you ask me that? I mean, that's ridiculous. If Dixie were here, things -- a lot of things would be different. I mean, I don't know how, I don't know why, and the truth is I don't really care. I stopped wondering a long time ago. Dixie is not coming back. She's dead and gone. The only thing that I want to do right now is concentrate on the beautiful woman that I'm with.
[A wounded Dixie watches Tad and Di kiss.]
Zach: I guess you hit a wall with your offer to keep Ryan out of our hair.
Julia: I never thought I would hear these words come out of my mouth, but I actually feel sorry for Kendall.
Kendall: I feel sorry for anyone who thinks they're in love.
J.R.: Did Slater do something to you? Did he break your heart? Because I'll smash him.
Kendall: What heart, J.R.? I never had one before. You think I suddenly grew one? People don't change -- not me, not Zach, not you, and not her.
Babe: It really sucks if your world came crashing down, but don't drag us down with you.
Kendall: Oh, I couldn't if I wanted to, Babe. You're already licking dust.
J.R.: Do you want me to drive you home?
Kendall: No, J.R., I don't need your pity. I don't need your pity, I don't want it. I need you to listen to me. Forget about how much she claims she loves you, or how hot she looks in your bed, or how much she thinks that she cares about you. People don't suddenly become perfect overnight just because they maybe fall in love with you. They can try to put on an act for a while, but eventually their true colors come bleeding through, and you'll find that you're stuck with the same flawed person the last sucker was stuck with. And then they'll rip your heart out of your chest, and they'll bleed it dry, and you will stand there looking like a fool, and a fool is exactly what you'll be.
Greg: That was quite a performance, Josh.
Erica: So much of it sounds unbelievable. How much of it is true?
Greg: The truth is the young man that I raised has turned into an immoral opportunist. I hardly recognize the person standing in front of me. I hope there's time for you to change back, Josh.
Josh: Change into what? Your puppet? Your tool?
Greg: My cherished, beloved son.
Erica: Your beloved son, Greg? Is he really?
Josh: Oh, I believe my father when he says he loves me. The only thing is my father's definition of love is compulsive control, raging obsessiveness.
Greg: I would never turn on you the way you're suggesting.
Josh: No matter how jealous you are?
Erica: Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me.
Lily: You don't love me anymore?
Jonathan: No -- yes, yes, I love you, Lily. You're, like, the best person I've ever met. I don't want to mess that up.
Lily: How could you?
Jonathan: It's like -- it's like Ryan said. I have a lot of stuff that I have to work on and I -- I can't bother you with that.
Lily: Well, you need to stop listening to your brother, starting now.
Jack: Thank you -- for getting your brother to listen to reason.
Ryan: You're welcome, Jack, but I didn't do it for you. I mean, I really, truly meant what I said. Jonathan is not a danger to anyone anymore -- not Lily, not anyone. He never laid a hand on her, and I truly believe he never would.
Jack: Yeah, well, let's just hope we never have to find out.
Ryan: Hey, if you ever feel like returning the favor, then keep an eye on Kendall for me? She got a look at the real Zach Slater tonight, and it wasn't very pretty.
Jack: My understanding is she and Zach are planning their second wedding.
Ryan: Yeah, a lot's changed since then. It's over.
Jack: I'm not sorry to hear that.
Ryan: Neither am I. But the point is she's hurting right now, and she's very upset, and she needs her family more than she ever has.
Kendall: You are unbelievable. You come here, you pull your magic light show, you smash my world to bits, and now you're doing damage control? No, that is not how it works, Ryan. You're a cold-blooded hypocrite, and I will never let you forget it. You stay the hell out of my life.
Zach: You've always had it in for Kendall. Don't tell me you're going soft on her now.
Julia: I probably won't ever like her. But she offered to carry Ryan and Greenlee's baby. Tell me a more selfless, generous act. Even I had to respect it. And now I find out that you took what was probably the only unselfish thing she's ever done in her whole life and turned it into a full-scale disaster. How could you do that, Zach, ruin all those lives?
Zach: I'm a monster. Disaster is my best event.
Janet: You're feeling better, sweetie?
Janet: Ok, good, here, drink up some water. You thirsty at all? You know, I just don't drink enough water, not as much as I should. Just soda is so much yummier.
Amanda: Mom, let's go home. Let's just go try and see Daddy if we can. I'm through with this town.
Janet: Yes, we are. And at the end of tonight's ball, we'll be at the next flight.
Amanda: Mom, forget the ball, forget everything about this place. Let's just ditch Pine Valley while we can.
Janet: Don't worry, gumdrop, it'll happen. There is no doubt about it. We are going to blow this Popsicle stand tonight.
Kendall: Ahem. Ok, attention! Attention, everyone! Now, those of you who thought you were going to remain anonymous this evening -- I'm afraid your plans are about to change. Despite this whole masquerade theme, this evening has become about secret truths revealed and surprises from places least expected. While illusion can be magical, reality trumps it every time. And so we have come to the point in this evening where we expose what little has remained hidden. So, ladies and gentlemen of the Mardi Gras Ball, those of you who have not dropped your masks, the time has come. Show yourselves for who you really are.
[As Kendall drops her mask, everyone else follows in succession.]
Babe: No surprises here.
J.R.: You've been full of surprises all night, Babe.
Palmer: Dear God, woman, put it back, put it back.
Opal: You know where I'd like to put it.
Erin: Nice of them to lend us a few for our donation.
Aidan: It was lovely.
David: You must be used to this -- exposing the real you.
Di: Look around, David. Even with your mask off, no one has even noticed you. No one cares. But you must be used to that.
Simone: Uh, hate to break it to you, but you're the last holdout, honey. What are you waiting for? Who's under there? Oh, I got it. Don't tell me.
[Tad watches Dixie as she keeps holding her mask while Simone pesters her.]
Simone: Oh, come on, what do I have to do to get you to drop the mask? Say the magic word? Charity. Donation. Oh, are you really, really ugly? I'm just kidding. Hey, I'm wearing this dress, you can drop the mask. I mean, Kendall just said it's time for everyone to reveal themselves. Who are you? Hey, honey.
Simone: I was just trying to get this woman, you know, to drop the mask.
Ethan: It's our favorite song. Come on.
Simone: Yeah, let's go.
[Di saves Dixie from being exposed by diverting Tad's attention.]
Di: Oh, there you are. Thought you were trying to give me the slip.
Tad: Come on. As if there's anybody else at this shindig I'd rather be with.
Babe: Don't tell me Kendall got to you.
J.R.: I was already on the "no" train long before Kendall ever got onboard.
Babe: "No," as in you won't sign the prenup?
J.R.: You catch on quick.
Babe: So that's it then? We're over?
J.R.: Babe, I'll marry you today, tomorrow, whenever, but I'm not going to sign your prenup, because you wouldn't sign mine.
Babe: You love me enough to marry me, but you don't love me enough to trust me with partial custody of our son? Fine, J.R., here's my final word. You can kiss Babe, the bride, good-bye, because from here on out, it's all about Babe, the mama, and I will do whatever it takes. I will go down and dirty, low and scheming, lying, sneaking, and I will game you like you've never been gamed before. But I won't let you keep me away from my son.
Jamie: Hey. I'm looking for Amanda. Tell me you've seen her.
Derek: No, I haven't. So why don't you stop looking? The charges against Amanda have been dropped. She's free to come and go as she pleases. She doesn't have to answer to you or me to do it.
Amanda: What are we waiting for, Mom? Let's leave already.
Janet: Oh, we will, buttercup, all in good time.
Amanda: You're stalling. Why?
Janet: I'm not stalling. I'm just enjoying the view.
Amanda: No, Mom, do not mess with me. You tell me what's happening. What did you do?
Janet: Well, all right, if you must know. Mommy has planned some real fireworks for the final number! I know you're in a hurry to leave, but I can't bear to cut out before the grand finale!
Amanda: No, Mom, please tell me that you didn't.
Janet: Oh, Amanda --
Janet: Amanda -- oh! Amanda! No, Amanda, you can't go in there! Amanda! Come back! It isn't safe!
[Gas hisses in the wine cellar as Amanda runs toward the ballroom.]
Jonathan: Maybe I should work really hard on getting better. That way your father and my brother won't have any excuse why we can't be together. It's just -- it's just going to take a little time.
Lily: How long is "a little time"?
Zach: So you've given up on your mission to distract Ryan.
Julia: Don't put words in my mouth, Zach. Did I say I gave up?
Ryan: Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. What, you're leaving?
Ryan: Let me drive you home.
Kendall: Don't come anywhere near me, Ryan. You stay the hell away from me.
Stuart: Oh. Hi. You look so pretty.
Marian: Oh, you look radiant. And why shouldn't she, with a baby on the way and a wedding in the works.
Stuart: You must be so excited. Have you and Zach set the date yet?
Erica: Josh? Will you please leave me alone with your father?
Josh: I'd rather not.
Erica: Greg and I have some things that we really do need to discuss.
Josh: Erica, whatever you have to say to my dad you can say in front of me.
Erica: You may not want to hear what I have to say, Josh. Your father has done some unimaginable things. He's a very sick man.
Greg: After all you've heard tonight, Erica, surely you believe that I'm on your side.
Josh: I thought I made it real clear -- I know my dad has lost it. So don't relegate me to the kid table while you adults determine my fate.
Erica: Maybe you're right, Josh. You do have a right to be told.
Amanda: Excuse me.
Jamie: Amanda, where the heck have you been?
Amanda: Jamie, you have to help me, please! You have to get everybody out of here.
[As Janet runs to save her daughter, the ballroom explodes in a ball of fire. Then chandeliers and all manner of debris fall on the horrified guests below, while those on the mezzanine plummet down until all is eerily quiet and still.]
Singer: Somewhere there's music how faint the tune. Somewhere there's heaven. How high the moon? There is no moon above, when love is far away, too. Till it comes true that you love me as I love you. The darkest night would shine, if you'd come to me soon. Until you will, how still my heart, how high the moon.
[Classical music plays as bodies are strewn around the rubble that was once a festive ball. Suddenly, one lone bloodied and bruised man sits up and plaintively cries out.]
Tad: My God. Anyone alive?
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Janet: Oh, Amanda! Look what you people made me do.
Tad: If anybody can hear me, let us know you're alive!
[Although Dixie is okay, she won't answer.]
Julia (to Tad): The gas. I can smell it. It's still leaking.
Janet: I'm going to bury you all!
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