All My Children Transcript Friday 2/10/06
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
>> Hi, I'm Susan Lucci. For the first time ever, you have a chance to interact with "All My Children." You're invited to be a guest at the Mardi Gras Ball and support the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund at the same time. When you call 1-800-RED-CROSS and contribute by February 12, you will receive a callback message from me and ensure that the American Red Cross will be there to help the victims of thousands of disasters across the country each year with food, clothing, counseling, and more. Call now. Together, we can save a life.
[Music plays as Simone and Ethan giddily stroll across the dance floor and almost knock over a waitress.]
Simone: Oh, I'm sorry.
Danielle: You know what's wrong? Making a girl sit by the phone and wait for it to ring, especially when she's ready to thank you for your donation to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. So skip the latte, the greens fee, that side order of fries and give, people. That's what it's all about. Open your hearts and your wallets and make this a night Pine Valley will never forget.
[Dixie hides in the bushes and eavesdrops on J.R. talking to Adam.]
J.R.: You have the stones to use my mother's memory against me? She hated you for the jerk that you were. And if she were here right now, she would call you pathetic and walk away.
Image: Little bunny foo-foo hiding in the basement scooping up the valley mice and boppin' them on the head
Janet: You don't know what I'm thinking.
Image: My, my, my. It has a brain. But you don't have the nerve.
Janet: Little Janet foo-foo brilliant in the basement going to surprise the valley mice and rock their little heads
Jonathan: You knew that Kendall needed help with her ex-husband and you were the only one?
Ryan: Well, something like that.
Jonathan: Lily needs me.
Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You try to help her now, and you're just going to make it worse.
Zach: I meant what I said. I'm not giving up on you. We're not finished.
Kendall: We were finished when you turned out the lights and blew my free will to hell.
Zach: I did what I did for you, not to you. Look at me. Look at me. I love you. And not just today or tomorrow or the day after -- for always and nothing's going to change that. I will always love you.
Ryan: Just leave her alone until she's ready.
Announcer: The role of Lily Montgomery is being played by Portia Reiners.
Lily: You said you loved me, but -- but you want to send me away.
Jack: I just think your old school would be a safer place for you to be right now.
Lily: If you make me go, I'll run away, and then I'll be away from you forever.
J.R.: Come with me.
Babe: Ok, it's a good way to lose an arm. Why don't you loosen up on that grip next time?
J.R.: I want to give you something.
Babe: Lawsuit? Ooh, a prenup? Oh, how about a knife to the heart? Why don't you just find a new hobby, J.R.?
J.R.: My mother's necklace.
Babe: Is J.R. Chandler out of moves? I mean, you already jerked me around with the engagement ring, and I wasn't fit enough to wear your mother's necklace last time you gave it to me, so what?
J.R.: Do you want to argue about it, or do you want to wear it?
[Still hiding in the bushes, Dixie smiles appreciatively.]
Josh: Your miracle son wasn't the miracle you thought, huh? So you turn on me.
Greg: You've become spiteful and vicious. I will not stand by and watch you harm Erica.
Josh: How sick are you? You'd have me put in jail just so you could share something with Erica?
Erica: Josh Madden is my former supervising producer and ex-employee. Sometimes I even considered him to be an ally and a friend, but like a son? Never.
Tad: No, no, not like a son -- a son. Your son. You understand what I'm saying to you? You're Josh Madden's mother.
Erica: What, is it a full moon in Pine Valley? Did somebody spike your tea, too? I mean, you're not making any sense, and I have a gala to run.
Tad: Erica, look at me, ok? I'm sober. And as long as I've known you, you've always been my friend. I'm yours. I'm the guy that's had to tell you things before, things that didn't necessarily make sense but that turned out to be true, right?
Erica: Yeah. You're the one who told me that Miranda was alive and that was an incredible gift. But this? I mean, Tad, come on. This? This is just -- this is not funny.
Tad: It's not a joke. Look, you're one of the few people on this earth that's taught me what family means, how important it is. You've lived, you've died, you've been willing to go to prison for yours. I'm telling you, Josh is a part of that. He's your blood. He's your blood son.
Erica: Tad? I was there, both times, both times I gave birth. Once in terror, once in joy, I was there. I had two girls. I mean, what's wrong with you?
Tad: I know, I know, it seems crazy. I mean, it is crazy, but if you'd just hear me out, I'll tell you how --
Erica: Look, snap out of it, Tad. Really, sleep it off. Work it out. But I'm not going to listen to any more of this.
Tad: Erica, you've got to. You and Josh are family. It's a fact. And I can prove it.
Josh: So did my mother have an idea how obsessed you were with Erica Kane?
Greg: You still refuse to see that you're the only one that I care about in all of this.
Josh: Yeah. That's why you had "I heart Erica" carved in the banister over there, why you let me rot in prison over your pathetic fantasy that somehow Erica might actually want to be with you.
Greg: I don't want to see you locked up. I want to see you free, I want to see you free from Pine Valley, and I want to see you free from this grotesque idea you have in you to destroy Erica Kane. You won't be charged with drugging Erica.
Josh: Dad --
Greg: It'll be your word against Amanda's.
Josh: It's ok that you tried to ruin me. You tried to blow my career, my whole life, Dad! But, hey, I won't have a mug shot, right? How could you do this to me?
Greg: Because you don't belong here. You don't belong in TV, you don't belong around Erica. Get out of Pine Valley. Go have the life that I set up for you. I gave you that chance.
Josh: You don't think that I can give as good as I get? This is your last warning.
Greg: Listen to me, son. One day you will have a child, and you will love him very much, and he will break your heart, and he will heal it with just one look, and he will grow up and become independent as children do, and he will take his own paths, sometimes the wrong path. You won't just sit back. You will want to correct him. That's what a real father would do.
Josh: You blew my life!
Greg: I gave you life when you were born, and I gave it back to you tonight. I don't give a damn about the price -- I did it all for you.
Lily: I don't need to be protected. You only think I do because you think I'm stupid.
Jack: No, Lily. I know how smart you are. I also know how kind and how trusting you are. It breaks my heart to hear you talk like this, Lily. Sweetheart, you mean the world to me. But sometimes young people, they -- they don't see life the way it really is.
Lily: I see very well. I choose Jonathan.
Jonathan: Give me a sign, Lily. Do you want me to help or leave?
Erin: I think that we could all use some breathing room.
Aidan: I think it's time for us to go out to the ski lodge.
Jonathan: No, I'm not going to leave the woman I love.
Babe: I don't understand. If you're not trying to hurt me, then what?
J.R.: Should've been yours a long time ago.
Babe: Yeah, but your mother was a saint.
J.R.: She was beautiful and smart.
Babe: Yeah, and I'm just --
J.R.: Beautiful, sexy, and too damn smart half of the time.
Babe: Wait. "Too smart"? What -- "smart" as in, what, like I'm trying to trick you, because if that's it, why don't you just take it back?
J.R.: No -- will you shut up for a second? I want to marry you.
Babe: J.R., you've -- you've given me this necklace before, and you've said all these words. And then, bam, your handy-dandy prenup showed up.
J.R.: No, no more prenups. No more conditions, no more refusals from you. I love you, Babe. Please say yes.
[Babe answers J.R. with a kiss while Dixie smiles from behind a bush.]
Brooke: So, I happened to glance at the check that you wrote. Aunt Phoebe would be so proud.
Jamie: She would've loved this party, too. Have you seen Amanda?
Amanda: Oh, God. Mom, what are you doing?
Janet: Sweetie. You're out of jail. How wonderful.
Zach: It's going to take some time for you to see.
Kendall: You never meant to hurt me?
Kendall: And if I need time, you'll still love me?
Zach: I will.
Kendall: And wait for me?
Zach: I will.
Kendall: You don't need to wait for me, Zach, because I'm done with you and that will never change. Dance with me, Ryan.
Ryan: The stick-it-to-Zach waltz.
Kendall: We dance, he bleeds.
Ryan: So this isn't a makeup dance with me? It's more of a revenge dance to Zach?
Kendall: You know what? I hate you both. I just hate you one less dance than I hate him. So, what'll it be?
Ryan: May I have this dance?
Janet: Did you break out of jail, sweetie?
Amanda: I had to come find you.
Janet: Ding, ding, ding. That is our cosmic vibration in the universe, because it just so happens that I need you right now. You going to give me a hand with this stubborn brute?
Amanda: Mom, you're coming with me now. We're going to go get you some help.
Janet: Oh, we don't need any help. We just need our mother/daughter super powers! I'm going to put my hands right here and then if you put yours --
Amanda: Mom, stop. Listen, no lessons and no wrenches. Stop, just stop.
Janet: It is my job as your mother to teach Erica that she cannot just toss my baby in jail and cha-cha all night. This I do for you.
Amanda: Look, Mom, I'm out of jail -- no handcuffs, no charges. It's all because of Erica. She believes I didn't drug her. They all do.
Janet: Who all?
Amanda: Everybody, everybody upstairs, all of them that matter, Mom. They think that Josh did it.
Janet: He's not a very nice young man, is he?
Amanda: No, he's not. Mom, if you want to teach someone a lesson, let's teach him.
Janet: Then you're ready to help. Let's go.
Amanda: Mom, listen -- no. If we get of here and we lay low and we stay super careful, then maybe nobody has to know about everything that you've done, ok? Look, we -- we can pin this all on Josh, ok, teach him a lesson.
Josh: Big deal. You and Mom made me -- so what? People have kids every day. You're not special. You're not even interesting, Dad.
Greg: Your ambition has twisted you into someone that I won't accept.
Josh: You – you're such a hypocrite. I mean, what -- what about what happened with Kendall, huh? Are you proud of that, the way you lied to Greenlee, told her the kid was hers? How many other women have you lied to?
Greg: This isn't about my ego. This is about you, my son.
Josh: It's all the same to me, Dad -- ego, son, power, career? But this time, I'm going to run my life exactly the way I want to, and no way am I going to let you screw me over again.
Tad: Josh looks like you. I mean, it's not blatantly obvious, but it's there. You never seen it before?
Erica: Well, he has dark hair and he's attractive. That makes him look like half the people in the ballroom downstairs.
Tad: Erica, I got his blood off a handkerchief at the casino. I stole your DNA from a coffee cup at the hospital.
Erica: You did what?
Tad: I ran the test. It's a match. DNA doesn't lie -- it can't. It's proof, and it's all right there -- you are Josh Madden's biological mother.
Janet: It's such a beautiful dream and sometimes I have it while I'm awake -- all those people who betrayed you and who hurt you learn the error of their ways and then they see you for the beautiful person that you truly are.
Amanda: Ok. That's way over the top, but part of it came true. They're on my side again.
Janet: Just like that? In an instant?
Amanda: It's all it took.
Janet: And that's all it's going to take for them to turn on you again, and then you'll have the snarling and the sneering and the gnashing of teeth. J.R., Babe, Jamie, and even my former very dear friend Erica. They're fiends, darling, heartless fiends who do not deserve your forgiveness.
Amanda: Forget them.
Janet: Oh, I will, just as soon as I loosen this pipe. Gas will come out, fill the basement. Lights, camera, action, and then we will forget about these nasty people forever and ever.
Amanda: What about all those people upstairs? They never hurt me, Mom. They didn't all betray me.
Janet: Well, you know what they say -- sometimes it takes a whole village to teach a lesson.
Amanda: Oh, no one says that, Mom, no one but you, because you're insane!
Janet: What did you just say to me?
Babe: It was one of those kisses.
J.R.: What kisses?
Babe: The ones that feel real.
J.R.: Well, that's the only kind that we have to have from now on.
Babe: And no prenup? Why?
J.R.: I freaked out. My dad went all Chandler on me. Then I realized I had to drop my doubts and grab on to the life that I could have. Otherwise, I'm just going to end up miserable and bitter.
Babe: Like Adam. I know it's so hard for you to trust and that I'm a big part of that reason -- me and Di and what we did to you. We made you feel like you couldn't believe.
J.R.: But we can. Just say the word, and we can.
Babe: Yes. The word is yes, always yes. From now on, yes.
[From behind the bush, Dixie smiles and walks away.]
Ryan: That was very subtle, Kendall, subtle room scan. So has Zach’s head exploded?
Kendall: Stop pretending like you care, Ryan. I may hate you less than Zach, but not by much.
Ryan: You loved him, Kendall, but he blew it.
Kendall: No, you blew it for him.
Ryan: No, he did everything, Kendall. He did. Look, it may be raw right now, ok, but someday, someday you will understand why I did what I did.
Kendall: Just like Greenlee understands why you played dead?
Ryan: I never had the chance to explain it to Greenlee, because of what Zach did.
Kendall: You know what your biggest mistake was, Ryan? Coming back. You should've just stayed away. You should've just let us go on missing you and mourning you and loving you. You should've stayed away.
Aidan: Hey, listen to me. Lily -- Lily is a wonderful girl, ok? She's smart, she's beautiful. I mean, she's just not like anybody else.
Jonathan: That's what makes her special.
Aidan: And that's also what makes her father look out for her the way he does.
Jonathan: If he cared about her, he'd let her be happy. I make Lily happy, Aidan. She told me that herself, and Lily doesn't lie.
Lily: Jonathan didn't try to kill those people. I'll solve the mystery, and you'll see my boyfriend is innocent.
Jack: Will you please stop calling him that? Stop calling him your boyfriend. Jonathan Lavery will never be your boyfriend. As a matter of fact, if he comes anywhere near you, I will slap him with a restraining order so quick, that tumor of his will seem like a bug bite. Lily, I want you to promise me you won't go near Jonathan Lavery. I want you to give me your word, I want you to do it right now.
Erica: Proof? DNA? Josh and I are --
Tad: Are a match, a perfect match. You remember going in for the termination?
Erica: I didn't even remember the doctor's name. I didn't recognize his face.
Tad: Exactly, and you never felt comfortable around Greg Madden. Now we know why.
Erica: While I was under anesthesia, he harvested my eggs? Created a child without my permission or my knowledge?
Tad: That's what I thought at first. Erica, you better hang on, there's more. I took Greg Madden's DNA off a teacup I swiped from the sun porch. I ran the same test. It's not a match. Greg Madden is not Josh's biological father.
Erica: My goodness. I mean, Greg Madden has sperm banks all over the place. So we may never know who the actual biological father is.
Tad: Oh, but we do. It's my brother. Jeff Martin is the father of your son.
Ethan: Hey. Does your dance with Ryan mean you forgive us?
Kendall: You know what I miss? I miss the days where you hate Ryan just as much as you hate your father. Now here you are, you and Ryan -- you're all buddy-buddy just teaming up against your dad, flipping him off left and right.
Ethan: We're really concerned about you, Kendall. Ok? And I think that in time --
Kendall: You know what? I'll still think you're a complete jerk. You and Ryan -- you just do this pseudo-noble BS. "We were worried about you." In case you've forgotten, this is me, Kendall. I don't forgive quickly. And in this case, with you and Ryan, I'm going for "never."
Ethan: As long as "never" is when you forgive Zach, too.
Simone: It's weird and freaky and more than a little bizarre what you did. But I -- I get why you did it. Just like I get why Greenlee broke into the clinic in the first place. And Kendall was willing to play baby machine. It was all love. I hate that Ethan hates you. Especially because you admitted to me without any words that you don't hate him. I would fix it, Zach, if I could. But it's not up to me. It's not. It's up to you.
Erica: This is science fiction. I don't have a son. I never had a son.
Tad: I'm sorry, Erica, but you do. I wish to God I didn't have to be the one to say it --
Erica: So I went in for a termination, and you're saying that Greg Madden took my embryo instead? That -- it wasn't even possible, not back then.
Tad: Ordinarily, I'd agree with you. But then again, Madden is nothing if not a genius. He didn't get where he is by -- by being anything other than a pioneer in his field, ok? Even if he's unethical, that's what he does. He pushes the envelope, continually breaks new ground.
Erica: No, this is not ground, this is insanity.
Tad: Erica, I was able to pull Josh's birth certificate. He was born exactly seven months after your appointment. The timeline, the DNA -- it's all there.
Erica: I have guests to speak with. I have funds to raise. We are going to discuss this later.
Tad: There's one more thing. Forgive me, I know, but I've spoken with Josh. I don't think he has a clue. I didn't say anything, because I haven't gotten Jeff's DNA results back yet, but then again, I thought you should be the one to have to say something. I mean, you were the one in that room. You're the one that this was done to. It's your right. But whatever you do, you got to do it soon. Josh has got a father, he's got sisters, he's got cousins he's never met. He's got a mother he's worked with every day that he doesn't recognize.
Erica: Let me deal with this.
Tad: Just so you know, you're not alone.
Erica: As of this second, I am. Leave it to me.
Lily: I can't make you a promise I won't keep. I want to see Jonathan again.
Jack: Lily, you can't make that decision on your own.
Lily: Why? Because I'm different? Because I have Autism Spectrum Disorder?
Lily: You lied to me.
Jack: Lily, I haven't been --
Lily: You told me I was smart, that I could be anything, do anything. That my disorder couldn't stop me. You told me to dream. You lied to me.
J.R.: It's all true.
Babe: It'll work. You know, I wasn't always sure before, but I know we can do this.
J.R.: I knew it already. I guess you just finally caught up.
Babe: I have something for you, too.
J.R.: No, not a chance.
Babe: I'll be back. I'll always be back.
Krystal: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, honey! Honey, please. I'm packed in this dress so tight, you hug me again like that, I'm going to have a wardrobe malfunction.
Babe: He loves me, Mama. He loves me enough to try again.
Krystal: Just the way you want it.
Babe: Exactly the way I want it. And I'm almost scared to say it out loud, but it happened. It really happened.
Krystal: Oh, my sweet baby girl. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Janet: Sweetheart, I don't think I understood what you --
Amanda: You're crazy. You've screwed up my life so bad, I'm going to have to slink out of this town and never look back. But you are coming with me, and you will get help.
Janet: My baby -- my baby is talking to me the -- the same way as all the others? That cold, cruel tone in your voice, and that look -- you hate me? After everything I've done for you?
Amanda: I love you! And what you've done is terrible and cruel, and it will ruin our lives.
Janet: If they hadn't done this to you --
Amanda: Just shut up!
Janet: If hadn't hurt you, I --
Amanda: Just shut up! Stop! I am not your reason to go around, live, die, hurt people! Who does what you've done? Who thinks "I'll kidnap a baby or poison soup or dump a truckload of people into quicksand"? You. Only you think that way. Janet from Another Planet. You -- you're out there, Mom. You are way, way out there, and you need a lot more help than Daddy or I can give you. So this is it. You are coming with me, and we are going to get you help now.
Amanda: If you do not come with me, I will go upstairs and tell them everything. "Look, folks, it was all Janet. And she's right downstairs."
Janet: You wouldn't do that to me.
Amanda: I would, and I will.
Jamie: Have you seen Amanda?
Tad: No. Then again, I wasn't watching her.
Jamie: Something's not right.
[As Amanda is about to leave the wine cellar, Janet grabs her around the neck as she slumps to the floor unconscious.]
Janet: Mommy's so sorry. Oh, sweetie, Mommy’s so sorry.
Image: Nice one, dipstick. I mean, so what if she called you a wacko? I'm sure she meant it in the nicest possible way.
Janet: Stop it! I will not tolerate your harassment.
Image: You can't slip me a mickey, so shut up and deal.
Janet: It was not a mickey. It's a sedative. And it didn't hurt any of the people in the back of that truck. And Amanda is going to wake up and is going to be just fine, she's going to be, as if none of this ever happened.
J.R.: I've been waiting. I thought you said you had a surprise for me.
Babe: Two things, actually. First, one –
[Babe kisses J.R. passionately.]
Adam: It's all your fault.
Di: Adam, usually, parents want their kids to be happy.
Adam: No, you ripped his heart out. You left him pathetic and needy. A perfect target for that predatory little blonde --
Di: You know what? J.R. opened his heart to the mother of his child. Yeah, you know, I mean, I can see why you're so upset. You poor thing.
J.R.: Come on, let's go.
Babe: What are you doing?
J.R.: Well, I'm assuming surprise number two is going to take place at the house.
Babe: Oh, no. You get to sign this. And then I'm all yours.
J.R.: What is it?
Babe: My prenup for you.
J.R.: So when I unfold this flap, confetti's going to fly out, right? It's going to say "just kidding" with hearts all around it?
Babe: Just like you were kidding when you handed me yours.
J.R.: I took that back I realized that I was wrong. What do you expect me to do? You expect me to sign my son over to you?
Babe: The thought did cross my mind. Because by rights, you should be in jail for aggravated assault and DUI, and I should have full custody anyway.
J.R.: Is that why you covered for me? To snake my son from me?
Babe: Will you calm down for a second and hear me out? If for some reason, things don't work with us, I think joint custody is the right thing to do. Will you do the right thing with me?
Lily: If I can go to school, take the bus, and solve a mystery, you should let me choose my own boyfriend.
Jack: Lily -- Lily, listen to me. Jonathan Lavery held you at gunpoint. He threatened your life!
Jonathan: Lily needs me.
Aidan: Hey, not now, Jonathan.
Erin: Give them some time to talk.
Ryan: I got this. I got it.
Jonathan: Mr. Montgomery, I'm sorry --
Jack: This is between my daughter and me.
Jonathan: No, I'm sorry that we kept it a secret. I know -- I know how surprised you were to see me here, but please don't take it out on Lily. We never meant to care about each other, Mr. Montgomery. We -- we just do. Lily and I just want to make --
Jack: There is no Lily and you. Now, I'm going to tell you one last time. You stay the hell away from my daughter, you understand?
Ryan: Jack is right, Jonathan. You and Lily shouldn't see each other ever again.
Ethan: Kendall, Zach denied me. This great guy -- he denied his own son.
Kendall: Yes, yes, we know. Could you just obsess on the past a little more?
Ethan: When he couldn't take my birthright, he took the woman that I loved. And this blackout -- that's just the beginning. There'll be more lies, more betrayal, more pain for you. Ok? And in the end, Kendall, it will leave you with nothing. Trust me. You're lucky to be rid of this guy.
Di: Oh, Adam, what's the matter? Are you afraid J.R.’s slipping out from underneath that big old thumb? You know what, he's in love. Deal with it.
Adam: No, no, I'd rather deal with you, right now. You, now, all tarted up, and -- and sipping champagne. Shouldn't you be off somewhere choking down some slop with some old prison buddies of yours? You're a fraud, Di. Nothing but a fraud. You conned your way into my family as a nanny. You lied your way into J.R., into his heart, pretending you were Dixie come back from the dead. You're a fraud, lady. And now you claim you care about J.R., and here you stand, all smiles and cooing, while he ruins his life!
[From behind a door, Dixie listens to every word.]
Greg: You've stooped so low to get what? To get so little. And in the process, you're trying to destroy Erica. It's revolting.
Josh: What is it with you and her, huh, Dad? You act like she's your private property. The way you worship her, as if she's worth the trouble? It's a joke. You want to fixate on Erica? Fine, go ahead, do it. Whatever. But I don't owe her a thing. I mean, who is Erica to me, anyway?
[Josh turns around and sees Erica descending the staircase toward him.]
[Down in the casino cellar, Janet grunts as she succeeds in wrenching open the gas pipe.]
Janet: Finally. Oh. Patooey! Someone needs a mint. Told you I could do it.
Image: You did it, all right. So, just keep standing there and clap and suck down some more fumes. Show how smart you really are.
Janet: I was just going. You, too, my princess. And we'd better get out of here before we turn into pumpkins.
[With a sleeping Amanda all cozy in a large wheelbarrow, Janet pushes her out to safety as gas hisses out of the pipe.]
>> Next week on "All My Children" --
Janet: We are going to blow this Popsicle stand tonight.
[After Janet blows up the gala, an injured Tad calls out amidst the lifeless bodies and wreckage that was once Zach’s casino.]
Tad: Is anyone alive?
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