AMC Transcript Wednesday 1/18/06

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 1/18/06

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Julia: I know -- last face you wanted to see.

Kendall: No, not at all. Come on in. I won't bite.

Julia: I wanted to talk to you about --

Kendall: Ryan? You want to make sure you've got a clear shot, and I'm not a threat. But I am.

Ryan: Did you have an appointment?

Zach: This is very impressive -- new office, a suit. Secretary's very pretty.

Ryan: Yeah, she prefers "administrative assistant."

Zach: Mm-hmm. So now you're a big shot at Cambias again.

Ryan: Yeah. Ethan made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Zach: I see. So we're even. You have my son, and I have yours.

Amanda: Do you really have to go?

Jamie: Yeah, my dad sounded kind of intense.

Amanda: I'll go with you.

Jamie: Amanda, that's not a good idea.

Amanda: Why, he told you not to bring me?

Jamie: He didn't even mention you. You're not exactly welcome at the Chandlers'.

Amanda: He's just trying to keep you away from me, isn't he?

Jamie: Where the hell did this come from?

Amanda: Jamie, don't go. You can't. If you go, you may never come back to me.

Babe: How are we supposed to find everybody?

Palmer: Well, if I'm lucky, Adam and Krystal are off getting a quickie divorce.

Tad: I don't think so. That wouldn't account for Ma and Brooke and my father. None of them would just go AWOL.

J.R.: That doesn't mean that they're together. Your father wouldn't cross the street at the same time as mine.

Babe: Never, and there's no way Mama's having tea with Brooke and Opal, but for all of them to disappear at the same time, it's more than a coincidence.

Tad: I agree, much too big a coincidence to be random.

Di: You really think someone did this to them?

Palmer: Well, who in their right mind would put that lot together? They'd have to be insane.

[Janet hums as she adjusts the gauge on the gas tank.]

Opal: Trapped in a truck, God only knows where, only junk food and punch to eat! We're all going to die. And only one of us deserves it!

Adam: Shut up, Opal. We need to think. Why, why would someone do this?

Krystal: Practical joke?

Brooke: Criminally bad sense of humor?

Joe: My guess is ransom.

Opal: Well, the tarot would know.

Adam: Yes, if it's ransom, there will be negotiations at some point. Now, let me do the talking.

Krystal: You'll get our throats cut. No. Joe, you've got to be the one.

Adam: I look at the big picture. I negotiate fortunes every day.

Brooke: Hold it. Does anybody smell that?

Opal: Kind of sweet. What is it?

Krystal: Could be my Fusion shimmer stick.

Joe: No. It's not perfume.

Adam: My God, it's some kind of gas.

Janet: Who else treats their prisoners so well? The fun's just begun.

Krystal: Gas? Are you sure it's just not drugged-up, slept-in-a-truck morning breath?

Joe: It's definitely gas.

Opal: Oh, my God. We got to -- we got to find out where it is coming from.

Joe: Opal, no, no, no!

Adam: You have cheese for brains? You'll blow us to hell!

Opal: Oh. Oh. My poor Petey. He's going to be an orphan! Well, almost.

Krystal: Babe. Babe and my grandbaby. They need me!

Brooke: We've got to get a way out of here!

Opal: Please, somebody let us out!

[The women yell and bang on the sides of the truck.]]

Adam: Blast it!

Krystal: I feel kind of woozy.

Adam: Yeah, well, save it for yourself, keep it to yourself. You're using up my oxygen.

Opal: We're going to die! We're all going to die!

Joe: All right, everybody, listen, let's not panic. All gases rise. Now, if we get down on the floor, it'll take longer for it to affect us. Down on the floor.

Brooke: All right, all right.

Krystal: Company not good enough for you?

Adam: I'd rather die standing.

Brooke: So much for the ransom theory.

Krystal: Of all the ways that I expected to go, this wasn't it.

Joe: Well, if this is to be the end, I'm glad it's with all of you. Or most of you.

Opal: What, you want us to die with you, is that it? That's real nice.

Joe: I meant it as a compliment, Opal.

Brooke: Oh, taken as such.

Krystal: Yeah.

Opal: Well, dying doesn't feel quite like what I expected. I feel kind of floaty.

Brooke: You know, we all look kind of funny lying down here on the floor -- sort of like a slumber party.

[Laughter]

Krystal: And you. You look even funnier. What you doing up there, planning your last words?

[Everyone laughs hysterically.]

Adam: God, you've all turned into blathering idiots!

Tad: Aidanís looking at security videos at the hospital.

Palmer: Well, what good would that do Krystal if Adamís kidnapped her?

Tad: I highly doubt it. Don't get overheated on me right now. I don't need it. I have two people at the airport, and we've got the bus and the train stations covered. Now, I'm going to call up Derek, see if he can help us canvass the neighborhoods, because we're going to have to start talking to friends and coworkers.

Di: Somebody's got to find something.

Tad: They already did -- shoes -- three pairs of them at the hospital. Aidanís looking into that, too.

Di: That has to mean that they're all together.

J.R.: The Chandler jet's still in the hangar.

Babe: I found Mama's book. I'll call everyone she knows, see if they've heard anything.

Palmer: Yeah, that Adamís probably shanghaied Krystal to prevent us from taking over his business.

J.R.: As if either one of you were a threat. He wouldn't waste his time.

Babe: What if I make these calls and no one knows anything? What if we don't find her?

J.R.: Don't think like that. We'll have Krystal driving my dad crazy by dinner.

Babe: So now you care, even though she's not as important as the great and powerful Adam Chandler?

Palmer: You know, if Adamís behind this, I'm going to offer a reward, dead or alive -- and a bonus for Adam dead.

Di: It doesn't make sense, Palmer. Why would Adam want to vanish, Brooke and Opal and Joe?

Palmer: And who invited you? What would it take to get somebody to rip you out of your shoes?

Tad: Relax, P.C. She's trying to help.

J.R.: Really? Since when? You didn't give a damn when my son was taken. Why are you concerned?

Di: I was out of town when Little Adam was missing. If I had known about it, J.R., you know I would've been here.

J.R.: Oh, yeah, well, we didn't you then, we don't need you now!

Di: Ok, you need to bark at me? Go ahead, get it out of your system. But I care, J.R., all right? I'm not just going to walk out the door and pretend nothing's wrong. Deal with it.

Jamie: Ok, Amanda, reality check -- I'm going to come back here, because I live here, not just because of you.

Amanda: Ok, I get that. It's just every time you see J.R., he just spews more crud about me. He hates me so much. What if he says something so horrible you want me gone?

Jamie: What are you so afraid I'm going to hear? If it's something that horrible that I'm going to kick you out of my life, I'd kind of like to hear it from you.

Amanda: There's nothing to hear, Jamie. I haven't done anything. But he hates me, Babe hates me more. They blame me for every little thing that goes wrong in this town.

Jamie: Amanda, it's show. If you haven't done anything wrong, there's no reason for me to jump on the blame wagon.

Amanda: Promise?

Jamie: I promise.

Amanda: Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have been so great to me, Jamie. Maybe when you come back --

Jamie: You know, the funny thing about that is I actually have to leave before I can come back. I'll keep you posted.

Julia: I knew you'd go on the attack. That's why I wasn't even going to come over here.

Kendall: Yet here you are.

Julia: I'm actually here to help you avoid stress. It's not good for you or for the baby.

Kendall: Ok, any place you're not? Stress-free zone. Now you can show yourself out, please.

Julia: Better idea -- why don't you decide, Zach or Ryan?

Kendall: I love Zach.

Julia: Then get your claws out of Ryan.

Kendall: Oh, my God, that is so you. I'm running late. I don't have time for this.

Julia: You know, I know Zach pretty well.

Kendall: That's great. Well, then we'll compare notes some other time.

Julia: I know that he hates Ryan, and Ryan hates him right back. So if you really care about these guys, why don't you do them and yourself a favor and don't do anything that gives them a reason to butt heads. Don't get Zach so mad that he goes after Ryan and get Ryan so worked up that he slams Zach.

Kendall: Ok, in case you haven't noticed, these guys have minds of their own.

Julia: You can stop this before it gets out of hand. You love Zach, let Ryan go.

Kendall: And if I don't?

Julia: Then you'll deal with me.

Kendall: Oh, my God. You are falling for Ryan.

Ryan: You don't have my son. You have nothing to do with Kendallís baby.

Zach: It's up to Kendall.

Ryan: You don't even really have Kendall. I mean, yeah, she's kind of giddy in love this week, but next week or tomorrow or maybe even tonight -- you just never know where her head's going to be.

Zach: Wherever it's going to be, I'll be with her.

Ryan: Oh, that's nice. Well, whatever you guys have going on, let me make this very clear -- you will never have anything to do with my son.

Zach: "My son," huh? You keep saying that. I mean, is that the first blush of paternal feelings? Are you going to raise him in your image? Sounds like news. Does Kendall know about that?

Ryan: We haven't decided anything.

Zach: Why don't you give the kid a fighting chance, let him be raised by anyone but you?

Ryan: Is that wisdom from your own experience as a father? I mean, where do you get off telling me what's best for my child?

Zach: Where do you get off calling Maria Santos to fight your battles for you?

Ryan: What? Maria? I don't even know what you're talking about.

Zach: She called me, told me not to interfere with Kendall or your baby.

Ethan: Actually, Ryan didn't call Maria, I did.

Tad: All right, everybody take it easy. Just take it easy, please? I guarantee the more we work together on this thing, the quicker we're going to figure it out. So think. What does everybody that's missing have in common?

Di: On the face of it, not a whole lot.

J.R.: Like you know so much about them.

Di: Different careers, social circles.

Palmer: Well, Krystal's in a class all by herself.

J.R.: They have us in common. It's my dad, it's Babe's mom, Jamieís mom. Joe and Opal are Jamieís family.

Tad: You used to consider them your family, too.

Palmer: Hey, what's the motive?

J.R.: Ransom. My trust fund, Jamieís inheritance from Phoebe, Babe's new shares of Fusion. That's a lot of bling.

Tad: It's ambitious, and ordinarily I'd agree with you, but if that's the case, where's the phone call or the note? If they were snatched for cash, we would've received some kind of demand.

Di: What other motive could there be? Extortion, revenge?

J.R.: Who would get back at us by taking them?

Babe: Oh, my God. Do you think it could be Amanda?

Jamie: What about Amanda?

Amanda: Thanks for stopping by. You must have ESP. I'm sorry. I'm not so much into the cleaning up thing. I'm so busy with work and all.

Myrtle: And Jamie, huh? Listen, Amanda, you know, you only flit it and out of the boarding house these days picking up your stuff. Now, I don't want to rush you, but someone's asking about the room, and I just want to know, are you ready to give yours up permanently?

Amanda: Oh, I really wish I could say yes, but I'd really like to hold onto it a little bit longer, if that's ok with you?

Myrtle: Of course. You're not the first girl who's wise enough to hold on to her digs, especially if she's not very sure of the future.

Amanda: Well, I am sure of one thing -- I am falling so head over heels for Jamie. It is the greatest feeling in the world -- and the worst. Oh, Myrtle, I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

Myrtle: Does Jamie share your feelings?

Amanda: He is so great to me. When someone slams me, he sticks up for me, and he got me the most beautiful earrings for New Year's.

Myrtle: Hmm, beautiful. And what about the L word?

Amanda: When I was at the hospital, you said that I could change, and that is what I want to do more than anything. But how do I do it, Myrtle? How do I become a girl that Jamie could love back?

[Brooke hums]

Opal: You still alive, too?

Brooke: Well, I hope so. Because if we're not, and we're with him, we're in hell!

Adam: What in blazes is going on here? What kind of poison gas takes this long to work?

Joe: Only you would make that complaint.

Brooke: Oh. See that? See that? See these little bubbles? See, see? Like carbonation? I'm carbonated!

Krystal: Like champagne.

Adam: What's the matter with you? Come on, we're about to die here, and you're acting like teenagers.

Krystal: Oh, come on, what are we doing, ruining Chandlerís last stand?

Opal: Oh, he always was a blowhard!

Adam: This isn't hell, you know, it's worse. It's a dream, and you're all figments of something I ate!

Joe: What did he say?

Brooke: Adam tried to make a joke.

Adam: You think this is a joke? It's ridiculous. It's -- I -- I did, I did! I made a joke! And you're all in my joke!

[Everyone continues laughing as the hose continues delivering laughing gas into the truck.]

Jamie: Who the hell would take my mom?

Tad: At this point, we're not positive she was taken.

Babe: Amanda does top the list.

Jamie: Ok, that's kind of a stretch, considering my mom's never even ticked her off.

Babe: Yeah, and I know from experience it doesn't take much. Maybe she just didn't want the little tramp to marry you.

Jamie: Amanda's got issues with Adam and Krystal, but my grandfather, my grandmother? She's got zero reason to go after them.

Palmer: Well, if Amanda's as certifiable as her mother, she doesn't have to have a reason.

Jamie: Fine. Does anybody have any proof? Witnesses, fingerprints -- anything?

Babe: Ahem. Jamie, Amanda's not here. You can stop pretending to protect her.

J.R.: Maybe Jamieís not pretending.

Amanda: Is there some list of things I should do to change?

Myrtle: Well, wanting to is the first step.

Amanda: Whoo-hoo for me. Ok, but how?

Myrtle: Well, maybe you've started already. Now, six months ago, what would you have done to try to get Jamieís love?

Amanda: Well, probably pay a guy to fake harassing me, so Jamie would help me, I guess. The last time I pulled something on Jamie, he hated me. I almost lost him for good.

Myrtle: He's still around. There must be some hope.

Amanda: For how long? Myrtle, you've got to help me. I don't want to scam Jamie into loving me. He's so good. I need to be on his level.

Myrtle: Honey, you are a beautiful girl. Now, why don't you just be you?

Amanda: That'll never work. That's not enough. I mean, Jamieís got women at school and the hospital hitting on him all the time. I dropped out of PVU, I've got a gofer job, I've never done anything clever or exciting.

Myrtle: Darling, you've got a heart, despite all your conniving. Now, you're smart, you're funny.

Amanda: No, I've got it -- I'll be a nurse! No, Jamie will love me for sure. We can meet in the cafeteria for lunch, we could take our breaks together.

Myrtle: Relax, darling, relax. Look, try being yourself and see if it works.

Amanda: It'll have to work. I cannot live without Jamie.

Myrtle: Darling, you cannot force Jamie to love you, and if you try, you're just going to lose him.

Amanda: I want to share everything with Jamie. I mean, I love his smile and the way his hair's messed up in the morning. Oh, I just -- I need to be with him. It has to work.

Myrtle: Darling, this sounds more like an obsession to me than love.

Amanda: Do you think I'm like my mom?

Myrtle: No, I didn't say that, darling.

Amanda: But you were thinking it.

Myrtle: No.

Amanda: Everyone does. "Janet from Another Planet's daughter, sound the alarm, stay away." Do you think I'd put Jamie down a well? Do you think I'm crazy like my mom?

[Janet gasps as she overhears her daughter's comment.]

Zach: Congratulations on the new hire, Ethan. Who's in charge, you or this clown?

Ryan: Ethan is the CEO. I just work here. Now, if you two will excuse me, I'm going to go make us some money.

Zach: Whose idea was it to call Maria, yours or his?

Ethan: Mine. Brilliant, wasn't it?

Zach: Mm-hmm. Almost as brilliant as Lavery trying to worm his way back into Cambias.

Ethan: Actually, that was my idea, too. Took a lot of convincing.

Zach: I bet.

Ethan: Yeah, I had to offer him a really big bonus. Now -- ahem -- if you don't mind, I have a company to run, so --

Zach: I know you probably don't want to hear this, but he's taking advantage of you.

Ethan: Why would I want to hear something that's so blatantly untrue?

Zach: He's using you to get to me.

Ethan: How's he doing that?

Zach: I don't know, maybe he thinks I care what happens to you.

Ethan: Huh. Well, he's going to be disappointed then, isn't he?

Zach: Whatever's going on between Ryan and me is our problem. I don't want you tangled up in it.

Ethan: I don't know whether to be touched or offended. Has it ever occurred to you that I may be using him?

Zach: Using him for what, to get my attention?

Ethan: Worked, didn't it?

Zach: Yeah, you got it. So what do you want?

Ethan: I want you to back away from Kendall.

Kendall: This is very cute -- you with a crush.

Julia: I like Ryan. I'm not in love with him. I don't want to see him get hurt.

Kendall: Neither do I.

Julia: Then we agree. If you let Ryan go --

Kendall: "Let Ryan go"? Hello, I'm carrying his child, and he wants to be in on it.

Julia: Doesn't mean you have to keep him at the end of a string.

Kendall: Ryan is free to do whatever and whomever he wants. Doesn't mean I'm going to give you my blessing to go after him.

Julia: I don't need your blessing. I'm trying to protect him.

Kendall: Yes, so am I, and I know you a lot better than Ryan does. There's no way any man in his right mind could ever be happy with you.

Julia: What is wrong with you? You need Zach and Ryan? You just get off on the war, two men fighting over you?

Kendall: I don't want them to fight any more than you do.

Julia: Then stop putting them at each other's throats. You keep this up, somebody's going to get hurt.

Kendall: Well, I have talked to both of them together and separately. I've been honest with Ryan and Zach.

Julia: Your kind of honest.

Kendall: What happened to you helping me be stress-free? You don't care about us, you don't care about me and this baby. You just want to make sure that we don't distract Ryan away from you. I want what's best for him.

Julia: Well, according to you, no matter what it costs him.

Kendall: I don't want to keep Ryan from being happy, I want to keep him away from you. Ow! Ah!

Julia: What's wrong?

Kendall: I think the baby.

Julia: All right, lie down.

Kendall: Get your hands off me.

Julia: I'm a nurse.

Kendall: You're a bitch. I want a doctor.

Ryan: Would you just please let her help you, please?

Kendall: Ow! God.

Julia: Look, where's the pain?

Kendall: Wait. Oh, my God. It's -- it's right here. You'd better not tell me it's stress-related.

Julia: What did you eat today?

Kendall: It's none of your business what I ate.

Ryan: Well, it's not like it's a national secret, Kendall. Please just tell her what you ate.

Kendall: I had a fresh-herb omelet, bacon, grapefruit juice.

Julia: It's not the baby. It's more than likely heartburn. Take an antacid, you'll feel better.

Kendall: That's it? That's your big fat professional diagnosis?

Ryan: Look, what she means to say is thank you very much, and she appreciates your help. Here.

Kendall: Ahem.

Ryan: Well, I don't really mean to break up all the fun, because it does sound like fun, but Kendall and I have a lot to talk about. Julia, do you mind giving us a second here?

Julia: Oh, I've already been here way too long.

Ryan: Thank you.

Kendall: Ryan, I'm late for work, I have heartburn, and I'm really not in the mood to discuss anything, thank you.

Ryan: We have to talk about the future of this child.

Zach: So much concern for Kendall.

Ethan: I work with her. Her and Simone are very close. I want her to be happy.

Zach: I want the same.

Ethan: You're not capable of making anyone happy, Zach.

Zach: I love her, so I'm trying.

Ethan: See, the problem is that by doing that, you've already come in the way of an entire family.

Zach: We'll make the best of it.

Ethan: There's no room for you. You're not wanted. Maria agrees.

Zach: You shouldn't have called her.

Ethan: I didn't have a choice. You've screwed with the lives of enough children and parents. You can't help yourself. If there's a way of mucking it up, you will. I should know.

Zach: This is still about you using Kendall, isn't it?

[Joe entertains his fellow captives with hand shadows.]

Joe: Did you know that humans and spiders have the same blood pressure?

Opal: Fascinating. Your hands -- they are beautiful. They're so graceful, but manly. So gentle, yet strong. Virile, even.

Adam: You like strong hands? I've got strong hands.

Opal: When's the last time you had a manicure?

Joe: Well, I don't know.

Krystal: Here. You want those?

Brooke: Oh, no, I don't like those, either.

Krystal: Oh. Well, I guess we do have something in common besides Adam, after all.

Brooke: Yeah -- Tad.

Krystal: Well, they both sure are hot in the sack.

Brooke: Oh, yeah. Did you know that Adam tried to seduce Dixie when she was helping run our house, and then he tried to convince me to adopt her baby? I mean, what kind of nerve does that man have?

Jamie: I don't blame you for suspecting Amanda. She's pulled a lot of crud, made a lot of enemies, but making five people disappear? I really don't think she can pull that one off.

J.R.: Well, you're the expert on her now, logging in all that undercover time.

Jamie: This would take a lot of planning. Amanda's more hit-and-run. But you guys would know more about that than me.

Tad: Jamie, have you noticed anything unusual about Amanda's activities lately?

Jamie: No. And this is bigtime. I would've got a whiff of something.

J.R.: Yeah, staying on top of her day and night.

Jamie: Back off.

J.R.: You've completely conned yourself by bedding that wack job. Why don't you admit it, James -- you just want to get back in Amanda's pants.

Tad: Will you two cut it out? We're talking about our family here, people we love. Let's just try to stay focused. And I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to back Jamie up on this one. It just seems to me that Amanda's way too much of a lightweight to pull off a production this big.

Jamie: Exactly. There's no way that she could lug my grandfather anywhere.

Babe: Unless she had help.

Jamie: From what I've seen, Amanda works alone. And for something like this, I think I would look for a guy who could lift a few pounds.

Di: This isn't the first bizarre thing that's happened in Pine Valley lately.

Brooke: And that was when Adam put Dixie in the insane asylum.

Krystal: That is horrible. I'm sorry you were married to him.

Brooke: I'm sorry you still are.

Adam: Ooh, raisins! I love raisins! Mmm. How did I get so lucky as to marry two women as beautiful as you?

Krystal: You're rich.

Adam: You know, if we were Mormons, I could marry both of you.

Brooke: As if.

Adam: "As if," yeah. Or forget about marriage. Concubines or my two golden canaries. Yeah, the three of us, together at last. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Krystal: Oh, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't tell me. Are you suggesting a mťnage a trois?

Adam: Are you saying yes? Yeah?

Janet: A belated Christmas present from your father.

Amanda: Oh, they're beautiful. I'll call Daddy and thank him.

Janet: Well, with all this undercover business, thank-yous may have to wait.

Myrtle: They're lovely. Oh, and they match your mother's. How nice.

Janet: Trevor thought so. But perhaps Amanda doesn't want to match her mother.

Myrtle: Um, now, I think you two must have a lot to talk about, so I'm going to leave you to it.

Amanda: Oh, thank you so much for stopping by, Myrtle.

Myrtle: You're welcome, darling.

Amanda: Sorry you heard that.

Janet: Oh. But not sorry you said it.

Amanda: Mom, it's not the way it sounded. I didn't mean it like --

Janet: Amanda, just be honest with me. I can take it. Are you ashamed of me?

Ryan: How you feeling, any better?

Kendall: Oh, all good. Don't expect me to call and thank Nurse Julia.

Ryan: What was going on there between you two?

Kendall: She charged in here worrying about Zach going after you. Where the hell did she get that idea?

Ryan: I don't know.

Kendall: Yeah, well, keep a leash on her, Ryan, ok? Zach is not out to get you. I've talked to him. He knows how I feel about him and about you.

Ryan: Oh, I see. So the whole "can't we all just get along" speech?

Kendall: No one's walking away, so we are in this together, and it's going to be fine, but Julia needs to rein it in. It's not like this is even her problem anyway. Unless -- did you say something to her?

Ryan: No, I didn't say something to her. Look, the last thing that I want, Kendall, is trouble, ok? If somebody starts it, it's going to be Slater, not me.

Zach: You lost Kendall without my help.

Ethan: That's what you tell yourself, is it? Kendall and I were well on the way to working things out before you came along and blindsided her.

Zach: Word has it you're engaged. Congratulations. Where's the problem?

Ethan: I'm over Kendall, whatever we had, but I'm never going to know what could've been, because you came along and interfered.

Zach: "Could've beens." What a waste of time that is.

Ethan: I'm not going to let you do the same thing to Ryan and Kendall that you did to me, destroy their future.

Zach: When did you and Ryan become good friends?

Ethan: Ryan is a man who's willing to face up to his responsibilities. That makes him more a man than you will ever be.

Zach: Ryan, huh? Yeah. So I guess we're back to me abandoning you and your mother.

Tad: Derek, I know it's unofficial. I mean, we haven't got a shred of proof that anything illegal has happened yet, but you got to admit it's weird. It's just too weird. So until we know what we're dealing with, just do me a favor -- at least put out APBs with descriptions, ok? I'd really appreciate it. No. Yeah, ok. Thanks. Well, it's a start.

J.R.: All we got is shoes and weird vibes.

Babe: So what now?

Tad: Keep checking in on your mom's friends, but use a cell phone. J.R., I want you to man the house phone just in case any of our missing persons decide to check in.

J.R.: Where are you going?

Tad: I've got to pay somebody a visit.

Di: Not without me.

Palmer: I'd better make sure that some spaceship hasn't taken off with Opal. Those damn Venutians -- they may have sucked her up after all.

J.R.: So you going to keep saying that Amanda didn't do it, or do you want to help us?

Jamie: I want my mom back safe. If Amanda is behind this, I'll get it out of her.

[Door closes]

J.R.: You all right?

Babe: Yeah. Sure. No. J.R., I'm scared. What could've happened to Mama?

J.R.: We're going to find them -- all of them. I promise.

Adam: Why are you so shocked? We're all adults here. I never had any complaints about either one of you in the bedroom.

Brooke: Hey, there's two of us. We could kill him.

Krystal: Guaranteed happy ending for everybody.

Brooke: We could tie him up.

Krystal: Yeah, and then we've got him at our mercy.

Brooke: That's right, and we'll get out the whips and the feathers. You know, a man's heart can only take so much.

Krystal: Yeah, but it's the rest of him. That could take all night.

Brooke: I'm up for that. How about you?

Adam: You want to try to take me? Please do.

Opal: Your cuticles are so healthy. Not like the claws some people sport and call it class.

Joe: I can't check in with my service. I don't have any of my paperwork here with me. I can't do anything about complaints from the board, insurance companies, and lawyers. I can't be held responsible for anything.

Opal: No.

Joe: I am helpless. I am -- I'm free!

[When Joe throws his hands up in the air, he falls backward off his seat.]

Krystal: Oh, my God. Do you need a doctor?

Opal: Well, I guess there's an upside to even to being on your last breath, huh? I mean, if we die here, old Miss Krystal there won't be able to get her raggedy cuticle claws into Palmer. Thank you, kidnapper, wherever you are.

Janet: Amanda, please be honest.

Amanda: Can't we just forget it?

Janet: The truth is so important. Amanda, I have spent years struggling to become a better person, to turn the other cheek, to make amends, and if you, the -- the flower of my heart, thought that I was crazy, I couldn't stand it.

Amanda: Mom --

Janet: I heard what you said to Myrtle!

Amanda: Crazy is the poison that Babe and J.R. spread about me, you. It's not fair to either of us.

Janet: No, honey, it's not. It isn't fair. You've been enough, through enough without their slander. So, honest -- honest -- you don't think that your mother's some lunatic wack job nut case? Because if I really, truly were crazy, I would have to go away again. I don't want to. I couldn't.

Amanda: Mom, I don't want you to, either. What I was trying to tell Myrtle is that Babe and J.R., they don't understand you. I mean, they're all about the past and the bad stuff. They don't see how great you are. You love me more than anyone. I mean, you listen to me, you worry about me, help me. You are the greatest mom in the entire world.

Janet: I sure try to be, because you're the sun and the moon and the stars to me, and I hate it when people don't see you for the princess that you are. And after everything I've done for you lately, I just couldn't stand it if you thought your mom did anything wrong.

Amanda: Everything you've done for me? What do you mean?

Janet: Hold still!

Amanda: Mom, what do you mean?

Janet: You are an absolute vision! You look so beautiful. Now, where's a camera when I need it?

Amanda: Mom, Mom -- Mom, forget the earrings. What exactly have you done for me lately?

Opal: I wish I had some of my special oils. Oh, my patchouli really heats up when I get going, and my male customers clamor for it. Clamor.

Joe: Well, this is fine, thank you.

Opal: You like gin?

Joe: I tell you, I'm more of a scotch man.

Opal: No, cards! Poker! Hey, Brooke, you up for a round or two? Not you.

Brooke: Oh.

Opal: Here, I got --

Brooke: Why not?

Opal: Come on, cut for the deal.

Joe: All right.

Brooke: You know, I'm a high roller.

Opal: Well, one of your golden canaries has flown the coop.

Adam: I didn't want Brooke -- or concubines or canaries or -- I didn't want to be married to both of you. I just want to be married to you.

Krystal: Why would you say something stupid like that? Oh, because we're dying? What, are you moving toward the light?

Adam: No. You're the only light in my life, Krystal. I love you. I really love you.

Tad: Jonathan? You home?

Jonathan: What -- what do you want?

Ethan: We're not rehashing ancient history, Zach. You and I are finished.

Zach: Right back where we were.

Ethan: Ryan's a good man. He's better for Kendall and the baby than you will ever be. So why don't you walk away, go back to Vegas.

Zach: You know I'm not doing that.

Ethan: That's a shame, because there's nothing left for you here. See yourself out.

Kendall: I'd rather get more heartburn than talk about this right now.

Ryan: Kendall, we do have a lot to talk about. This is really important, ok? We have to figure out what we're going to do, who's going to raise this child.

Kendall: I'm going to need some more antacids for this.

Ryan: The sooner that we talk about this, the better it is for everybody, especially him.

Kendall: No, I don't want to talk about this -- not now, not over lunch or dinner or nonalcoholic drinks.

Ryan: This is really important, Kendall, ok? We have to guarantee the best possible future for this baby.

Kendall: I want you to leave.

Ryan: I want you to marry me.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Janet (to Amanda): Sit down, I'll tell you everything, but you have to promise not to pry.

Julia (to Zach): I came for the answer to a simple question. Do you want Kendallís baby?

Kendall: Ryan, this is our baby. You can trust me with this.

Ryan: No, I can't, and I won't.

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