AMC Transcript Friday 1/6/06

All My Children Transcript Friday 1/6/06

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Proofread by Gisele

Babe: J.R.?

J.R.: I'm sorry, Babe.

Di: Oh! So that's it.

Tad: What? What's it?

Di: You -- you've actually been acting humane towards me.

Tad: What did I miss? What are you going on about? I didn't ask you to solve the case.

Di: Dixie?

Tad: I just wanted you to help me brainstorm.

Di: Oh, no, you wanted Dixie, Tad.

Tad: What the hell are you talking about?

Di: You just called me Dixie.

Tad: No, I didn't.

Di: Yeah!

Tad: You're crazy.

Di: Yeah, you did.

Tad: I did not.

Di: You called me --

Tad: No, I --

Di: Dixie. You just tripped on that Freudian slip of yours and now you're falling flat on your face. I'm Di, remember? Not Dixie. The woman you can't stand to be around, the woman who conned you all? Di, Tad. Evil, rotten Di.

Krystal: Yeah, Little A, you're going to skate, too, huh, with those double-edge blades right there. Isn't that going to be fun, huh?

Adam: Don't worry, son, I'll keep her at a safe distance.

Krystal: Oh, like you need to protect my grandbaby from me.

Adam: Well, a warm wind could waft through here, and you could drop your sash and give us a dose of "Naked Grannies on Ice."

Krystal: Somebody slipped me a mickey on New Year's Eve, and the tests prove it, ok? Come on, Little A, we'll go skating. Ok, leave this brat to play by himself, huh? Yeah.

Jonathan: Ryan? Ryan, that's him. Hey, little guy! Huh? Remember me? I'm the one that rescued you

Adam: And me without my shotgun.

Ryan: Lay off him, Adam.

Jonathan: I mean, you don't need a shotgun to go skating.

Adam: I rest my case. Would you please keep this lunatic away from my grandson?

Erica: I nearly froze to death in some dismal warehouse. I had to hitch a ride, because my driver deserted me. I sat in the cab of an 18-wheeler, Josh, next to some guy who made me talk to his buddies on the phone. And while I was stuck next to that complete stranger in this unknown ring of hell, you were here, with my special guest, in my chair, ruining my show.

Josh: Erica, I tried to find you. I left a hundred messages on your cell phone.

Erica: My phone is gone. You tried to take my place. You tried to stand in for me on the air.

Josh: Geraldo Rivera showed up here to be interviewed. When you didn't show, what else was I supposed to do?

Erica: Clean out your desk. You're fired.

Zach: And this one here is chai tea. Apparently, it'll keep you and the baby calm.

Kendall: Thanks.

[Zach hums]

Zach: This a bad time, or --

Kendall: Everything was perfection and then J.R. stopped by.

Zach: Why do I care if Little Junior stopped by? Missed you all day.

Kendall: And that's a good thing?

Zach: What do you think?

[Zach and Kendall kiss.]

Zach: Hi.

Kendall: Hi.

Zach: What's going on?

Kendall: I -- I'm just -- I'm waiting for you to take it back.

Zach: No, this is yours. I'm not really a tea guy.

Kendall: No, no, not the tea. The kiss.

Zach: It's a great kiss, huh?

Kendall: I can't play games right now, Zach. I can't.

Zach: I need a little more to go on.

Kendall: No, see, I wouldn't blame you, either.

Zach: Ok. Not blaming me is always a good thing.

Kendall: You know, it was the moonlight or the setting, the circumstances, the stardust, all of it -- we think we feel things.

Zach: And we don't feel things?

Kendall: No, don't -- don't joke around right now. We're past that. Don't pretend.

Zach: All right, we're past it, then. Well, then, where are we? Because right now I'm lost.

Kendall: You don't want to hurt me.

Zach: Right.

Kendall: Yes, ok, but I can take it.

Zach: What's going on? Who got to you?

Kendall: Who got to me? God, you know, you open up to a guy for one night, and all of a sudden, he thinks he's an expert on you.

Zach: I've seen your best of times, I've seen your worst of times.

Kendall: Oh, yeah, that's what you think.

Zach: What's -- what's going on? You can't just dodge me, you can't push me away. What happened?

Kendall: This. Him.

Erica: No explanation? No excuses?

Josh: Well, the verdict's in, Erica. Why bother?

Erica: Just turn tail and slink out?

Josh: It's for the best. Better now than later.

Erica: You don't mind being fired?

Josh: Oh, I mind. I just wish I would've quit.

Erica: I treated you extremely well. What did you know about producing? What did you know about television?

Josh: You leaned on me to test Kendall to see if she was gay or straight. I even offered to spy on my own father for you. That wasn't about television, Erica.

Erica: That was about loyalty.

Josh: Loyalty. You want to talk loyalty? Ok. We've, what, promo'd the Geraldo Rivera interview for, what, three weeks now? The big moment arrives. You're nowhere to be found. I combed all of Pine Valley for you. Ok, so, I didn't check the cabs of all the 18-wheelers in all of Pennsylvania. Then Geraldo suggested tossing on a rerun. I considered it. But then I saw your credibility and "New Beginnings" taking a nosedive. Who was I supposed to trust in the interviewer's seat? Betty from Research? Yeah, Erica, I made a judgment call for the good of your show. That's what other producers do. I forgot my job was hitting on your daughter and betraying my own father, so I'm fired. Well, don't expect me to beg or cry. It's not my style.

Erica: Josh -- wait.

[Surf crashes]

J.R.: It's cold out here.

Babe: It's warmer than in town. Ahem. The ocean makes it warmer, I think.

J.R.: On New Year's Eve, I didn't think, I just reacted. I just couldn't handle you in some other guy's room, naked. Just can't deal with that rationally. I wanted to smash something.

Babe: So instead you just called me a slut.

J.R.: I hated that as much as you did.

Babe: I doubt it.

J.R.: I always feel that if I hit back, if I make people suffer, I cause them pain, I'm going to feel better. With you and Jamie, I dished out a whole heck of a lot of grief. But in the end, it never made me happy.

Babe: Then why keep the hate going?

J.R.: What is that thing they say about hate and love? Something happens and eventually you just fall over the line. Why is that?

Babe: Because it hurts more when it's someone you care about who causes it.

J.R.: Right, and you slam it back. And I couldn't stop. But you and I, we have a connection, Babe.

Babe: Thought a lot about this, haven't you?

J.R.: I keep wondering why the hell you want me back after all that.

Babe: I don't want to want you, J.R., not any more than you want to want me.

Ryan: Will do me a favor, Jonathan? Will you just – let's go. Just wait for me over there?

Jonathan: Ok.

Ryan: Ok.

Jonathan: He's a nice little boy. I would never do anything to hurt him.

Ryan: You realize, Adam, that this is a public place, and you cannot treat my brother like that.

Adam: Krystal, would you take Little Adam home?

Krystal: I brought Little Adam to skate, and I'm not going to disappoint him.

Ryan: And Jonathan will not bother you at all.

Krystal: Well, Bruno is our insurance.

Ryan: Bruno. I see. So you want to pick a fight and then hide behind Bruno.

Adam: I don't need backup for either one of you.

Ryan: Look, Krystal, Jonathan and I were at the police station for about a half a day explaining everything that happened.

Adam: Then leave him there -- for 10, 12 years -- and then get back to me.

Krystal: Nobody is talking to you, Adam.

Ryan: An old lady cleared Jonathan. They were talking in the park exactly when Little Adam disappeared.

Adam: Some senile old woman is your alibi?

Ryan: That's funny, because she was younger than you.

Krystal: Oh, oh. Winnie?

Winifred: Yes, Mrs. Chandler?

Krystal: Why don't you take Little A and go get some hot chocolate, huh?

Winifred: Yes, ma'am.

Krystal: Good idea, huh?

Winifred: Come on, sweetie. Now, do you want marshmallows or whipped cream, huh?

Bruno: Whipped cream.

Winifred: Ugh.

Ryan: The cops are not looking at Jonathan for your grandson disappearing. They are looking elsewhere.

Adam: Oh, that'll be great. Now we'll have two head cases terrorizing Pine Valley.

Jonathan: Sister? Sister. Sister? Sister?

Janet: Ooh! I ain't your sis-- oh, yes, bless you, you child. Ah, yes. Bless you. Have a nice day.

Jonathan: No, no, sister, please, please --

Janet: I've got to fly. I'm needed back at the convent San Tanco.

Jonathan: But it'll only take a second, sister. Please -- see, I was praying the other day, and I --

Janet: I'm not the complaints department. Unanswered prayers you got to take up with the big guy.

Jonathan: Hmm, no, no, no. No, God answered my prayer. He helped me find this little boy. He was lost. And I want to do something nice for other people now. So if you could take this and put it into your poor box for --

Janet: Oh -- no, I lost him.

Jonathan: Who? Who'd you lose, sister? Can I help you find him?

Janet: No, no, no! Just say a prayer for me, son.

Tad: Ok. So I misspoke. I apologize. Why don't you try to relax?

Di: Why? Why should I, Tad? You know, I am not hanging around Pine Valley, so that I can be your stand-in. You know, you know, like slip in and play Dixie for you whenever it suits you.

Tad: It doesn't suit me. I thought we'd established that, ok? I never -- no, no, nobody in my family ever wanted you to run around for the last year pretending to be your sister.

Di: Right, you're the one that screamed the loudest about that, but now you're backsliding.

Tad: I'm not backsliding! It was a mistake. So what?

Di: Oh, there are no mistakes, Tad. I mean, why? You called me Dixie. What were you feeling just then?

Tad: What was I feeling? I wasn't feeling anything.

Di: Mm-hmm.

Tad: I wasn't. No, wait a minute, ok, all right, fine. You want to take the gloves off? You're the one that kept after me months to call you Dixie, so I did. Big deal. It was a name I was used to saying, a name I used to love saying, so I got used to saying it for a while, again. What just happened was nothing. It was a -- a slip of the lip, you know?

Di: Hmm.

Tad: Nothing. Ok, all right, you know what? I thought you working with me on this case was not going to be a problem, but clearly I was wrong, because if it's going to get too personal, if it's going to be like this, then it was definitely a mistake.

Di: Ok, yeah, because it -- yeah, it's just a job, nothing personal, right?

Tad: Yeah, that's right.

Di: You know, why don't you tell me, then, on New Year's Eve, who were you kissing? Was that Dixie or were you kissing me?

Ryan: If I were you, Adam, I would look at all of your enemies, and then when you're finished with that, I would look at all your son's enemies, because one of those people are responsible for taking your grandson.

Krystal: You expect Adam to believe that? Makes too much sense. Adam's own beliefs beat everything else including fact, including science. That drug test came back positive. Somebody slipped me knockout drops on New Year's Eve, but you think he's going to believe that?

Adam: Why should I, knowing you as I do? As far as drug test results are concerned, Pine Valley hospital is a disaster. They sure missed on Di Henry, didn't they?

Di: Were you kissing Dixie or were you kissing me? Was that just another slip of the lip, too?

Tad: You know you are in serious need of medication? It's called tradition. It's called New Year's Eve.

Di: Oh --

Tad: Whoever you're with, you kiss, end of story.

Di: Well, I mean, thank God you weren't with David Hayward.

Tad: All right, fine, ok, terrific. You're killing me. Now stop, stop. You know, you're going to get gross, I'll leave.

Di: No, you know, I just want you to admit it. I want you to admit it that you were thinking of Dixie, and you let me stand in for a moment.

Tad: Let me tell you something. If I could ever think of you as Dixie -- and that is one major "if" -- that would be a big compliment for you.

Di: Oh. And I should be grateful, huh?

Tad: Yeah, if it's humanly possible, you should be grateful.

Di: Dixie Martin, the all-wonderful saint.

Tad: I never said, referred, or thought of her as a saint to you or anybody else.

Di: The most adorable, terrific, loving, fantastic --

Tad: You have no right to talk about your sister! All right, fine, terrific!

Di: Creature to ever walk --

Tad: Close enough!

Di: I'm sick of this bull. You know, you think Dixie’s never told a lie? She's told plenty of lies.

Tad: How would you know? What the hell are you talking about?

Ryan: You know what, this has been fascinating, really. But I got to go.

Krystal: Why can't you believe anybody about anything?

Adam: Ryan Lavery is an admitted con man. He covered for his lying brother. He played dead for months. Brain-damaged Jonathan snatched our grandson.

Krystal: Amanda Dillon has motive for days, Adam. She's already tried to kill my daughter twice.

Adam: Yeah, well, third time's a charm.

Krystal: That is a horrible, horrible thing to say.

Adam: Oh, come on, I was kidding.

Krystal: No, you were not kidding, and I want you to apologize right now!

Adam: All right, I apologize.

Krystal: You don't mean it. Babe thinks that Amanda could've done this.

Adam: Babe's bent out of shape, because Jamie Martin is boffing that Dillon girl again.

Krystal: Boffing? Oh, real pretty Adam.

Adam: Ooh, such delicate sensibilities from a woman who jumped out of a cake on New Year's Eve like a bada bing! Wannabe.

Krystal: I did not jump.

Adam: Your lack of inhibition is epic.

Krystal: Oh, oh, I did not hear you complaining about that on our wedding night, tiger.

Adam: Well, it was a good deal more private, as I recall. And I was blasted.

Krystal: I am telling you that Amanda Dillon slipped us those drugs.

Adam: And she also --

Krystal: Took Babe's son.

Adam: I think they should check the crèche at the church for Jimmy Hoffa while they're at it.

Krystal: All right, ask Jamie Martin, ok? She tried to drug him, too, ok, but she didn't get away with it.

Adam: Save it. Just save it. I know what happened.

Krystal: And you love the fact that all those people saw me in my naked glory. That was just one big guffaw to you, wasn't it?

Adam: Like hell! I hated every second of it.

Erica: I was angry, Josh. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, knowing that my guest was waiting for me, not knowing what was going on back here. I mean, it drove me crazy.

Josh: You're not used to feeling powerless.

Erica: No, of course not. And I just saw "New Beginnings" just going down in flames.

Josh: So did I. By the way, Geraldo wants to do another spot -- with you, as soon as it can be arranged.

Erica: Well, call Geraldo and find out his availability and schedule it.

Josh: I no longer work for you, Erica.

Erica: Look, I was angry and I -- I needed to vent and -- anyhow, you're never really fired unless I sleep on it and fire you again in the morning.

Josh: I must've missed that memo.

Erica: But if anything like this ever happens again --

Josh: Are you kidding me? I'll fire myself. I've got the car company tracking down your driver. We'll find out what happened, why he took off.

Erica: Thank you. Ok, I really need to go freshen up. That truck ride --

Josh: I'll get on the phone to Geraldo's people.

Greg: You bugged Erica's office?

Babe: If I was just some random person or a friend, I would tell you, if you cross over that line from love to hate, keep on walking.

J.R.: What if I'm just hovering above that line?

Babe: Try new scenery. Buy new friends. Take up golf.

J.R.: Why do the people in my life that I love always destruct?

Babe: Right, and you're this laid-back, easygoing guy, and the rest of us, we're just type A?

J.R.: All right, all right, stop. Point taken. But when things get ugly, I'm not always to blame.

Babe: I will give you that.

J.R.: Sure, I try to move on, but things just keep happening.

Babe: I don't get it. So you keep going on with these revenge trips even though they don't make you happy?

J.R.: Right.

Babe: So you don't like what you do -- or maybe even who you are -- but you don't know how to be anyone else.

J.R.: It shouldn't be so damn complicated is what it shouldn't be.

Babe: It's not if you just relax.

J.R.: I saw a friend today. She's been through all sorts of crud.

Babe: She's bitter.

J.R.: No, she's not. She's in love. Just flying in a plane without any wings.

Babe: Good for her.

J.R.: No, she's flying too high. She's -- she's going too fast.

Babe: So high no one can touch you. Headed straight up.

J.R.: Do you know what happens when a pilot takes too steep of an incline at full throttle? Engines start starving for oxygen. It goes into a stall. The plane starts to dive to the ground. If they can't recover it, if they can't restart those engines on the way down, nobody survives.

Kendall: I relived every perfect, wonderful detail that was -- it was beautiful, and then --

Zach: And then Junior showed up.

Kendall: J.R.? No, this has -- this has nothing to do with J.R. It's -- it's these. It's -- it's these! Those stupid things!

Zach: You're upset with your pants.

Kendall: If they were just mine, I would be wearing them right now, but I could not get the zipper up, because this baby is onboard, and he's only getting bigger.

Zach: I'm not a doctor, but I think that's supposed to happen.

Kendall: Oh, God, you think this is -- you're being funny now? You think this is humorous?

Zach: It's not unexpected.

Kendall: What, this expando me?

Zach: They make pants in all sizes.

Kendall: Oh, stop. No, Zach, this is not my idea of romantic. I did not picture us having a romance with you looking all handsome and cut, making love to a sumo wrestler in a muumuu. Well?

Zach: Thank you.

Kendall: No, I am the sumo wrestler. Me.

Zach: Yeah, but you're a beautiful, gorgeous semi-sumo wrestler who's pregnant. So you're going to gain some weight. It's good for the boy.

Kendall: Ok, it's good for the boy, but what about us, Zach? We're just starting out. I mean, don't you think three is a crowd here? I've invited an extra person to --

Zach: Can I stop you about here?

Kendall: What?

Zach: Now, you told me that you love me. Is that still cool?

Krystal: Yes, that is still cool.

Zach: Ok, then, nothing else matters to me.

Kendall: Yes, but love does not always work. There are no guarantees.

Zach: That's fine. I didn't ask for guarantees.

Kendall: You live by the odds. What would Nick the Greek say? He would say you're going to make it in 100-1 or a million to one. What would he say?

Zach: Shut up.

Kendall: What? No, you just can't face it that a baby makes three, and you can't handle that. You can't handle --

Zach: Shut up! I love you. And he's part of that. I didn't say I love you despite the baby or that I would only love you if you didn't have the baby. I love you as is. I don't want my money back.

Kendall: If you think this is going to be easy and simple, you are wrong.

Zach: No, never thought that life with you would be easy or simple.

Kendall: You like a challenge.

Zach: I do. But that's not what this is, because I like you and all the stuff that comes with it -- how you can go from happiness to anxious in just a flash. And life with you is not going to be boring, I know that.

Kendall: Ok. Well, you say you're willing to deal with this baby, but you can't be happy with it.

Zach: I'm happy with you, with or without a baby.

Kendall: You'll submit to a polygraph?

Zach: I will. Whenever you want. But the thing that really matters here is how you feel. Are you happy?

Kendall: I don't know what I'm going to do with this baby. But you don't get the other vote. And isn't dealing with me really enough for you to take? I mean, do you really think you can handle this baby when you still completely hate his father?

Ryan: You see, Adam remembers what happened before the surgery.

Jonathan: When I did horrible things.

Ryan: Yeah, yeah, and I know that you're ok now, I know you are, but other people -- it's just better if you just keep a low profile for now. You just stay away from people that you don't know. Go to the Life Skills class, hang out with me and Erin, but --

Jonathan: Aidan and Stuart know that I'm ok, too, Ryan. And Lily. Ryan, Lily's my best friend.

Ryan: That's great. I'm glad. But just don't -- don't rush up and get in people's faces, because people remember things for a very long time, Jonathan. And if anything bad happens at all, they're going to think that you did it.

Jonathan: Ok. Ok, Ryan, just my friends, ok?

Ryan: Ok.

Jonathan: Ok, and you and Erin and Kendall.

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no. No, no, no, Jonathan, you can't go anywhere near Kendall.

Tad: You met your sister once. Once. And you of all people are going to stand there and call Dixie a liar? Well, by all means, enlighten me. Is there something you know that I don't?

Di: She left you, didn't she?

Tad: Yeah, she left me. But you already knew that, didn't you? She left me, then she wrote me a letter, and we were going to hook up in Europe, but we've already been through that.

Di: But she wasn't there. Why? I mean, what did she have to get to that was so important? You must've asked yourself that a million times.

Tad: Careful, Di.

Di: You expected this perfect wife, you know, that you'd made her out in your head to be. What if she wasn't? What if she changed? What if no woman can meet up to this fantasy Dixie you had in your mind?

Tad: It's time for you to shut up.

Di: You know, what if it wasn't fate that's kept you two apart? What if Dixie did it herself?

Krystal: No, out with it, Adam. Why weren't you enjoying my naked embarrassment?

Adam: Well, because we're married, technically. For better or worse. Consistently the latter.

Krystal: Then it's all about appearances, huh?

Adam: No.

Krystal: No concern for me? That I was drugged, stuffed into that cake? Who cares if I suffocated or if I died of exposure?

Adam: Don't try to work this.

Krystal: What outraged you was the way it looked. You were embarrassed by me.

Adam: Isn't everyone?

Krystal: Why don't you just end your humiliation, then? Give me what I want.

Adam: I was right, wasn't I? Your naked welcome to 2006 was just a ploy -- to shame me into divorcing you.

Krystal: Oh, yeah, yeah. I love watching your blood pressure rise.

Adam: Your redneck Christmas extravaganza didn't work, didn't push me far enough? And neither did the videotape of our wedding night in front of my board of directors. No, you had to go all the way, didn't you? Just how low will you sink?

Krystal: I guess you're just going to have to wait and see for yourself.

Adam: I give up.

Krystal: What?

Adam: I give up.

Krystal: You give up?

Adam: I'll give you half of Chandler Enterprises. I'll sign the papers over to you. I'll sign our divorce papers. I can't do this anymore! I just want you gone.

Krystal: No. No, something is not right here. You didn't even -- you didn't even put up a fight.

Adam: Oh, yes I have. Believe me, I have.

Tad: Never look a gift jackass in the mouth. That's what they say, isn't it? You're not going to get a better offer. Take it.

Babe: Death is inevitable. I can think of a lot worse ways to go. I mean, the flames of love? Sounds good to me, don't you think?

J.R.: I think you think you can use your looks and everything to survive anything.

Babe: Use my looks? What, you think I'm some bubble-headed manipulator?

J.R.: No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you affect people. Whatever. Yeah, I came here today to -- I came here to tell you that I think you should stay far away from me.

Babe: Well, then, thank you for the advice. You are such a buzzkill.

J.R.: Look, I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to make you see who I am!

Babe: I know who you are, J.R. I know what you do to the people who hurt you. I was there, if you'd remember.

J.R.: And I know who you are, Babe, and I can't promise that I can change.

Babe: But would you be willing to try? Of course not, because I'm not worth the effort.

J.R.: You know, I knew this was going to be a mistake.

Babe: What, tracking me down, saying incredibly stupid things about planes spiraling back to earth? Yeah.

J.R.: Well, don't you see? We are that plane! We've been spiraling to the ground long before our divorce. But if we try to fly, if we try to feel again, it's going to hurt and there's going to be a lot of pain, and that's so not worth it. I think it's best if we just forget it.

Babe: I think that is the first thing that you've said today that makes sense. Try not to feel. "Forget it" is right.

Greg: What the hell is the story with the bug?

Josh: The usual. A little covert eavesdropping on La Kane.

Greg: What? You're trying to harm her?

Josh: You know I'm not one of her army of fans, Dad.

Greg: Then why didn't you just walk out and find yourself another job?

Josh: I like "New Beginnings."

Greg: Even though you hate Erica.

Josh: I don't hate Erica.

Greg: You are trying to harm her.

Josh: Dad, did you see the interview she was ranting about, the one I did on air? I'll get you a tape. I was amazing. Yeah, I want a new job, but I want it right here.

Greg: Oh, so you want to replace her?

Josh: Dad, I rocked. I finally found where I belong. What? One day she'll be remembered for giving me my big chance.

Greg: And you're going to stab her in the back.

Josh: Dad, it's television. Come on. I mean, do you realize how many talented people are out there sitting around jobless? It's not just who you know, it's how you play the game. And I play to win.

Greg: Who are you?

Josh: Come on, Dad. You don't recognize the drive to succeed no matter what the price?

Greg: Oh, even if it means betraying the finest -- of all the women in the world, why --

Josh: Dad, you're not -- are you really in love with her? Do you actually think you're going to get with Erica, be part of her life? You've lost it.

Jonathan: I did a lot of bad stuff, and it's going to take a lot of time to make up for that.

Ryan: That's right.

Jonathan: But after my nephew's born, it's going to be completely different, right, Ryan? I mean, it's going to be different after that.

Ryan: Well, that's still sort of to be determined, Jonathan, because, yes, Kendall and I decided to stick around through the pregnancy, but after that --

Jonathan: After that, you're going to have a son that you're going to have to stick around and look after.

Ryan: The thing is that neither of us are all that comfortable with parenthood.

Jonathan: You'll be a great father, Ryan.

Ryan: There's just no guarantees, Jonathan.

Jonathan: Hmm, because of our dad?

Ryan: Yes, that's part of it.

Jonathan: Ryan, you are nothing like him.

Ryan: Well, I guess I -- I just need time to figure everything out, that's all. And I'm just asking you to keep some distance between you and Kendall, ok?

Jonathan: Ok. Ok.

Ryan: Ok? You sure?

Jonathan: No, whatever you want, Ryan.

Ryan: Ok.

Jonathan: Ok.

Ryan: Ok, let's go.

Jonathan: I'm going skating.

Ryan: Well, I -- I got to go.

Jonathan: Well, you can go. Don't worry, I'll be -- I'll be fine, Ryan. I'll be ok by myself. I'll skate away from the Chandlers, I'll skate right over there by the weeping willow tree, ok? I promise I won't scare anybody, and after I'm done skating, I'm going to go right home.

Ryan: You'll keep a low profile?

Jonathan: The lowest. So low I'll be right next to the ground.

Ryan: Ok, I trust you. And none of those triple axels with the backflip things I've seen you do, all right? None of that.

Greg: There. Your plans and your ideas for hurting Erica, you can forget them.

Josh: Whatever Erica is to you, to me she's just a link in the media food chain.

Greg: You better rethink this, young man, because I will not allow it.

Josh: You know, Erica is only a deity in her own mind. Stop carrying on like she's the immaculate mother.

Erica: Greg. Hello.

Greg: I'd like to talk to you privately, Erica.

Kendall: You know, that's what keeps tripping me up is, how does Ryan figure in? I mean, what, does he come by on the odd days, and you come by on the even? Any opinions?

Zach: My opinion is we knew all that New Year's Eve.

Kendall: Yeah, but I -- I wasn't thinking about that. I -- I was different.

Zach: How is that? You were pregnant then, too.

Kendall: I forgot about it, ok? I was floating above the clouds. I forgot about all complications. All I could feel was you -- your hands and your arms and your lips. But now I'm back on earth, and I can take it. You want to take it all back?

Zach: No, I don't want to --

Kendall: Do you want to forget about it?

Zach: No, I don't want that. I have faith in your decisions.

Kendall: Then you are -- you're even crazier than me.

Zach: I don't have all the answers, you know that. But I think between the two of us, we can probably figure it out. I love you. I love you. And not even you can scare me away.

Kendall: Last chance to run.

Zach: I said no.

Kendall: Well, if you're going to go, then go now, please? Don't -- don't let me get used to you.

[As Kendall and Zach kiss, Ryan comes by.]

Josh: You need to comment on this interview mix-up in the next show's beginning.

Erica: Well, maybe I should interview you.

Josh: Oh, no, your guests will want to hear --

Greg: I won't take up much of your boss' time.

Erica: I'll -- I'll get back to you, Josh, just as soon as we're finished.

[Erica sighs]

Erica: Please.

Greg: Have you had a difficult day?

Erica: Terrible. Really, you have no idea what I've been through.

Greg: I don't want to cause you any more stress. In fact, I'd like to alleviate it. You should try to relax. That's it. You should breathe, Erica.

[Erica closes her eyes and sees Greg wearing a surgeon's mask hovering over her.]

Greg's voice: Erica, try to breathe.

Erica: You -- you. Oh, my God, I remember.

J.R.: Why can't I get rid of you, Babe? I can't get you out of my head, I feel you on my skin, in my blood.

Babe: I know. You drive me crazy, but somehow I just can't help myself.

[Babe and J.R. fall into each other's arms and kiss passionately.]

Tad: If I were you, I'd grab that bundle with both hands and kick Groucho here to the curb.

Krystal: Adam knows my terms.

Adam: Stop playing hard to lose.

Krystal: Half of the business is chump change. I want half of the house, half of all the assets -- the bank accounts, the holdings, the stocks, the real estate, the cars, the jet --

Adam: Why don't we do a compromise? Half of Chandler Enterprises and full custody of Winifred.

Krystal: Oh, whoo. No, no. No, it's half of all or nothing but more hell.

Adam: She's so much more your type, Martin. Sort of tacky and crass. Why don't you take her away from all this? Seduce her. Please. Get her off my back. I'll be with Little Adam.

Tad: You do realize he just made you a very generous offer.

Krystal: Yeah, throwing in Winifred?

Tad: It's not a joke, Krystal. Why'd you turn him down?

Krystal: It's a long story.

Tad: Yeah, I'll bet. Listen, if you want to cause him a little more pain, I'm behind you every step of the way. I just want to make sure you're not fighting him, because of some other reason, you know? Like you actually enjoy being Mrs. Adam Chandler? Or even worse, you're attracted to him in some way? Say it ain't so, Krystal.

Krystal: No, no. No! Never.

Tad: I mean it. You be careful. Don't even let yourself fall in like with him. Adam Chandler is as dangerous a man as they come. He lies, he cheats, and those are his good qualities. You can't afford to let yourself fall for somebody you can't trust.

Krystal: Kind of like some woman claiming to be your wife back from the dead?

[Di screams as someone approaches her from behind and pushes her into the water.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Krystal (to 911 Operator): A woman fell in the water! She's not breathing, and I think she might be dying.

Kendall (to Ryan): Our marriage has been legally dissolved, but we're in love.

Erica (to Greg): You are a danger to your patients, Dr. Madden.

Janet (to her mirror image): J.R. and Babe need a much harsher lesson.

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