All My Children Transcript Thursday 1/5/06
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
[Kendall hums as she returns home after a blissful night with Zach.]
J.R.: You didn't have to dress just for me.
Kendall: Well, well. Look what the New Year dragged in. Ah, not even you, J.R., can ruin this gorgeous, heavenly day.
J.R.: You're willing to forgive me for our fight?
Kendall: Hmm. Why not? Happy New Year.
J.R.: Not yet. But it will be.
Kendall: Ok, well, let's -- can we dance inside, please, because it's freezing, come on.
J.R.: I have a better way of warming up.
[J.R. ardently kisses Kendall.]
Babe: You don't want to help me.
Bianca: I must or I'd already be gone.
Babe: I'm surprised you didn't run when you saw me.
Bianca: We used to be pretty close. So close that all I had to do was look in your eyes and tell that something was wrong. And I'd have to be blind not to see that there's something going on between you and J.R. What are you trying to pull, Babe?
Tad: My father, my mother, my brothers. You have an entire dossier on the Martin family in your personal files. Why is that? What makes my family so interesting? Well, don't keep me in suspense, Doc. I'd like an answer. Like now.
Josh: Aren't you supposed to be filing guest logs?
Amanda: Don't blow me off with the boss routine. Are you trying to sabotage Erica?
Josh: Imagination. It's good to have in this line of work. Just don't get carried away.
Amanda: I am working with the facts here. I heard you not too convincingly deny rumors to a reporter about Erica drinking again, rumors which none of us have ever even heard, probably because we know she's sober. And now you're going to sub for Erica's big interview because somehow the first one got erased? What is going on? Are you out to get Erica?
Erica: Where's my cell? Hello? Anyone here? Anyone? I need to use your phone. Hello?
[Janet lurks in the shadows of the deserted warehouse.]
Josh: Are you kidding me? You hear something you don't understand, and you lay into me? Where do you get off?
Amanda: I just want to know what's going on.
Josh: Ok, I'll explain it to you. I'll even use small words so you understand. Erica went to go redo the interview with Geraldo Rivera. She left how long ago, and she's still not there? She's not answering her cell phone.
Amanda: It just seems a little strange that you'd sub for her.
Josh: We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you hadn't erased the tape in the first place or forgot to make a backup.
Amanda: I told you, I swear I didn't do that.
Josh: Do it, right, just like you didn't send Erica to the wrong place for the network meeting. You arranged Erica's limousine today. Are you sure you gave them the right directions?
Amanda: Of course, I did. You don't have to get so bent.
Josh: You want to see bent? Wait till Erica gets back here. That interview? Hell, my job could go up in flames, because of your screw-up, and you want to accuse me of setting up Erica?
Amanda: It's just the way it sounded.
Josh: You know, maybe Babe was right. Ever since you and your blackouts hit this show, there's been nothing but problems.
Amanda: That is not fair. I work really hard.
Josh: Fess up, Amanda. Are you trying to mess things up? Are you trying to mess me up? Your blackouts -- are they real? Or are they BS? Answer me.
Erica: Hello? Wonderful.
[Erica gasps as Janet materializes before her.]
Janet: Erica! One of my dearest, oldest friends sees me after this long and screams? Should I be hurt?
Erica: Janet. Is that you?
Janet: C'est moi! Oh, and it's been such a long time, hasn't it?
Erica: Uh-huh, yes, certainly has.
Janet: Oh, you look wonderful! Oh, you're beautiful as ever! That bone structure. Oh, gorgeous!
Erica: Thank you, thank you. What are you doing here? Oh, never mind. Do you have a cell phone?
Janet: Uh-uh, no, very annoying.
Erica: Well, did you happen to notice a pay phone nearby?
Janet: You know, I cannot get over the coincidence. I was just standing outside waiting for a bus, and all of a sudden, I think I see my old friend, Erica; and I say to myself, "Self, lo and behold, what is a glamour puss like Erica doing walking into a nasty old building like that, and why is her limo leaving?" Well, you know, I'm just a curious case, so I had to come find out for myself, and look, you're you. Oh, we're just such lucky ducks, aren't we?
Erica: Yes, yes, we certainly are.
Janet: Erica -- is there something wrong?
Erica: Janet, are you feeling better?
Janet: Oh, you have no idea. I was released a little while ago, a completely clean bill of health. No plans for any do-overs. The only planet this Janet is from is Earth.
Erica: I'm so glad. And I really wish that we could chat, but there is someplace I have to be. So, by any chance, do you have a car?
Janet: Oh. Don't I wish. I lost my license. You have no idea how people get so worked up if you hit somebody with a motor vehicle -- although, I swear, that man jumped in front of my car on purpose. He never had any time to rake his leaves, but he certainly had time to work out -- abs of steel, buns, too, although, it could've been so much worse.
Erica: Oh, so he lived?
Janet: And he did, and he took me to court. Yes, he did. And I lost -- well, I got away with just a fine. Trevor worked his magic. But they would not give me back my license, so Trevor's not really quite as clever as he thinks he is, but --
Erica: Janet, I don't have time. I'm late. I'm late for a very important meeting. I have got to get out of here.
Janet: Of course, you do.
Greg: This dossier on your family is part of some research I've been doing on a paper that I'm writing on the possibility that a person's career choice is genetically predisposed. I actually got the idea when I met your father. Like many of my colleagues, he is a successful physician, and he has children who are also in the medical field -- your brothers Jeff and Jake.
Tad: And that's why you put my family under a microscope?
Greg: Mr. Martin, if your investigation had been a little more thorough, you would've discovered that I have files on other families. The Santos family, for example. Yet another family where many of the siblings are in the medical profession. It's a very interesting hypothesis, don't you think? Environment versus genetics, nature versus nurture.
Tad: What can I say? I guess one man's interesting hypothesis is another man's load of BS.
Greg: Actually, my research is very personal. You see my son, he went to medical school to become a doctor and, for reasons that are not clear to me, he abandoned his plans.
Tad: Oh, it's tragic, isn't it, the way children tend to grow minds of their own?
Greg: Mr. Martin, I'm an analytical man. I search for the absolutes in life's many unknowns. This dossier on your family is just part of the search. I hope I've answered your questions.
Bianca: All right. It's none of my business. Just one question, though. You and Jamie -- what ever happened to you two? I mean, I would've thought after everything that went down last year that you two would be the one thing that would survive.
Babe: I guess we just weren't meant to be. I mean, his Aunt Phoebe's will did complicate things. The only way he could get what he deserved was by getting rid of me.
Bianca: Jamie would never choose money over you.
Babe: But I had already kept you from having the life that you should've had, and I wasn't about to go and do the exact same thing to Jamie. So I finally figured it out. No matter what I thought we had, he's too good for me, and I -- I wasn't about to hold him back.
Bianca: You and Jamie apart. It's almost as surprising as you and J.R. close again. I guess I'm happy, for Little Adamís sake.
Babe: Yep, J.R. and I are close again. I'm not going to lie to you again. And not that this is going to come as a shock or anything, but I am scheming another plan. But this time my target's J.R.
J.R.: For good luck.
Kendall: Happy New Year to you, too, tiger.
J.R.: You know, you look delicious.
Kendall: Ah. I do, don't I?
Kendall: Well, it's a new year, a new life, new changes. Nothing will ever be the same again.
J.R.: Look, I came to apologize about taking Babe's side at the Fusion thing.
J.R.: You know, I shouldn't have come down on you so --
Kendall: Oh, you're forgiven.
J.R.: I'm not done.
Kendall: You're sorry. I forgive you.
J.R.: Um, normally this is where you grind my face into what I've done and make me beg you for forgiveness for an hour.
Kendall: That's new year, new changes, new roles. So, do you like my hair up?
J.R.: All right, what's going on with you? What's all with all this sunshine and light? It's so not you.
Kendall: I'm happy, J.R. I am truly, madly, deliciously happy. And no sticks, no stones, not even stinky little Babe can ruin this and bring me down.
J.R.: Why don't you forget Babe, because I'm all about the future.
Kendall: Oh. Good. Now that's more like it. You unload the Babe baggage, and I think you actually have a chance.
J.R.: First step is to fix things. We've been through a lot together, Kendall, and it'd be sad if it all went away over some bad business deal.
Kendall: Our fight was about way more than business, and a lot has changed since then.
J.R.: All behind us. And I'm ready for a future that means something.
Kendall: Good. Well, then I think we're both on the same page, only I'm -- I am way ahead of you.
J.R.: We can do it together. I know who you are. I know what you want.
Kendall: You don't have a clue what I want.
J.R.: You sure about that?
[J.R. fervently kisses Kendall again.]
Janet: I mean, of all the places for us to meet, huh? What are the chances?
Erica: Oh, slim to none.
Janet: Of course, I have seen you recently, before today. I wouldn't miss your show for all the world with fudge on top. It is sensational!
Erica: Well, thank you. Then -- then certainly you can understand how important it is that I get back to my office.
Janet: "New Beginnings." I'm in the middle of one myself, so I can totally relate.
Erica: Well, listen, if we could only just find a phone --
Janet: And my daughter -- I cannot thank you enough for giving my daughter a job on your show. You're all she talks about. She says just being in your presence is inspiring.
Erica: Oh, that's very sweet.
Janet: She's crazy about you.
Erica: Thank you.
Janet: No, I don't mean crazy crazy, I just mean -- you just have no idea how important this job has been for her confidence. She came to Pine Valley with such high hopes and this wicked, little, horrid Babe Carey has done nothing but make her life miserable.
Erica: Oh, don't even get me started on Babe Carey.
Babe: So, that's it. If J.R. marries me, I'll get some dirt on him, divorce him, and get Little Adam back.
Bianca: So you're going to marry J.R. just to divorce him?
Babe: Pure Babe Carey. Sneaky to the bone. Not much has changed since you left.
Bianca: It's pure J.R. Chandler, if you ask me. I mean, it's pretty much exactly what he did to you. And he's still trying to take Little Adam away from you?
Babe: Yep. He even found a judge to take away my visitation, then they're off to Europe. I'd never see Little Adam again. So I had to go radical.
Bianca: Get desperate, but --
Babe: You know, seriously, you don't need to worry. After last night, the whole plan's pretty much toast.
Bianca: Did you really think that you could get J.R. to fall in love with you again after everything you did to him?
Babe: Want to hear crazy? I almost had him. Hmm. I was so close.
Bianca: If you keep going with this plan, and J.R. finds out about it, that's it. He'll tear you apart.
Babe: I know.
Bianca: He's dangerous.
Babe: But I want my son. I don't really have many options.
Bianca: There was a time you were so crazy about him, we had to pull that stunt, we had to get in bed together just to prove to you who J.R. really was.
Babe: I'll never forget that night. It'll forever be burned in my brain -- J.R.ís, too -- but, yes, I do know what a slime I'm dealing with.
Bianca: The Babe Carey that I knew -- you don't do anything without your whole heart and soul. I saw a connection between you and J.R. If you fell for his tricks again --
Babe: You can go ahead and say it. I know I deserve every bit of heartache I've got coming to me.
Tad: All that work. Entire folder full of Martins, and not one single word about me. So why's that?
Greg: You're adopted. You're not a true Martin, at least not in the biological sense. My research into you ended when I discovered that. Also, Mr. Martin, you might rethink your investigative technique. Not everybody will overlook breaking and entering.
Tad: Doctor, when it comes to people I care about, I'll take the risk. You can be sure from here on out I'm going to do everything and anything I can to make sure you're not a threat to Erica, or anybody else I'm close to, for that matter.
Greg: Oh, I'm not a threat. I'm just a man with a broken heart.
Tad: Yeah, speaking of which, do you want to talk about Erica's baby picture?
Greg: I'm not a stalker, Mr. Martin. I'm not a deranged fan. I don't have any delusions that Erica's going to leave her husband and run into my arms.
Tad: I got to hand it to you, you certainly say it like you mean it.
Greg: Erica and I have an understanding. I'm very happy with our relationship the way it is. My only goal now is to take care of her daughter and her daughter's child.
Kendall: We are not making love, J.R.
J.R.: Oh, come on, what better way to celebrate by making up?
Kendall: Ok, let me just -- I want to be really simple with you, all right? Things have changed.
J.R.: Oh, come on, what's changed so much that we're not already between the sheets?
Kendall: I am having this baby.
J.R.: That's fantastic!
Kendall: Yes, I am.
J.R.: Oh, I knew you were going to make the right decision. That makes it even more perfect. I am an expert at all baby things, and, as an expert, I know that it's ok to have sex when you're pregnant.
Kendall: No. J.R., no, stop, ok? Just stop. I'm in love, all right?
J.R.: Not Zach?
Kendall: Yes, Zach.
J.R.: You're coming with me.
Kendall: Wait, wait. Where are we going?
J.R.: To run your head under a cold shower till you start making sense.
Di: Ooh. Oh! Well, it's about time. What's with meeting in an igloo in the middle of Lake Siberia?
Tad: It's not an igloo. You and I are supposed to hate one another, remember? If we get caught by your new boss having coffee at BJís, we're going to have deal with a bunch of questions we don't want to have to answer. Aidan turned me on to this place.
Di: Well, remind me to thank him.
Tad: Well, it's not that bad. I think it's kind of cool. If you like to fish, we could catch a few while we're talking.
Di: No. No, no. No, no fishing. It's so cold, Tad.
Tad: Ok. Well, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that that's what the stove's for.
Di: I need to work on my powers of observation.
Tad: I think so. Come here for a sec. Yeah, you are freezing. All right, ok, I tell you what, you just sit tight and -- good -- I'll have you warmed up in a minute.
Di: Thanks for saving me back there in Madden's office.
Tad: Well, you were helping me. I guess it's part of the job.
Di: What happened after he kicked me out?
Tad: Pretty much what you'd expect. He swore up and down he wasn't stalking Erica, and that file he had on my family? He claimed that was research for some project he was working on. You know, nature versus nature, you know, genetics versus environment, yada, yada, yada, yada.
Di: Ok, I guess that's possible.
Tad: Yeah, well, so is time travel. You know, it doesn't matter. Even if the research story's legit, the way he feels about Erica isn't. She's right. There's something hinky going on.
Janet: That Babe is just pure evil. Although I am surprised that you haven't had Miss Ick-on-a-stick all tarred and feathered by now.
Erica: Oh, I've come close, believe me.
Janet: [Irish accent] The high road? Ay, the view is quite nice, but it isn't always very satisfying.
Erica: Yeah, well, the important thing is, of course, that Bianca is with Miranda, safely back together. Oh, Bianca has made a whole new life for them in Paris, and Bianca is the most wonderful mother.
Janet: [Normal voice] Well, with you as an example, of course she is. No one knows better than I the extremes to which you'll go for your daughter. In that respect, you and I are very similar.
Erica: Yes, well, now I really do need to get back to my office.
Janet: Oh, don't worry, I'll get you a ride. You'll be back in a jif.
Erica: No, that's ok, really.
Janet: I'm so proud of you, Erica. You know, seems like just yesterday we were planting bodies in your backyard. And now look at you. You are a shinier star than ever.
Amanda: My blackouts are real.
Josh: Oh, yeah, your wack blackouts. Can't remember what you did, where you were, who you talked to or pushed down the stairs.
Amanda: That is not fair. You know I didn't do that.
Josh: You know, all I have is your word, whatever that's worth. You are a walking freak show to everyone in this town but me. Do you have any idea how many times I have put my job on the line for you, and you sit there and accuse me of trying to sabotage our boss. What's next, you go to Erica, try to get me fired? The Amanda plan for moving up the ladder?
Josh: What you saw was me trying to convince that leach not to print that story.
Amanda: But now you're doing Erica's big interview. You know she would hate that.
Josh: I'm not trying to poach Erica's guests. I'm trying to solve a problem, fix somebody else's mistake. Bad enough Erica's going to come in here and breathe fire. The least I can do is air that interview that we've been promoting for the past few weeks. Any more questions, accusations, ungrateful brat moves?
Amanda: Josh, I'm sorry, ok? You've been the greatest to me, and I know you wouldn't do anything to sabotage her.
Josh: You know what? Save it. I got to get back to the studio. You find out what happened with that limousine and where Erica is. Can you handle that?
Amanda: Josh, wait. I really am sorry.
Josh: Just make sure you don't have a blackout between here and the phone.
Kendall: I don't need a shower, cold or otherwise. I'm fine. I'm better than fine. I'm in love.
J.R.: All right, all right! Let's just -- just think about this for a second, ok? There's still time.
Kendall: No. Not a chance.
J.R.: How many times is this going to have to happen? How many times does he have to screw you over, and how many times do I have to be here to kiss your tears away?
Kendall: J.R., I get it now. I can trust Zach. I always could. I was just too afraid to take the chance.
J.R.: Take it from somebody who put everything on the line -- the stakes are so not worth it.
Kendall: Oh, God. You know what, your ex is a walking Greek tragedy. Zach is nothing like Babe. She's a disgusting, conniving, selfish little pig. Don't even compare the two of them.
J.R.: You're never going to forgive Babe for what she did to Bianca, are you?
Kendall: Not a chance in hell.
Bianca: Part of me still hates you, Babe.
Babe: You have every right.
Bianca: But I know what your son means to you, because I know what Miranda means to me. I can't imagine my life without her. But I was without her for a long time. And I don't want anybody to feel that. Not even you.
Babe: Most people in the world would wish ten times the pain on me. You know, your sister wants to erase me from Fusion. Zach offered to buy me out.
Bianca: You going to sell?
Babe: Don't want to. I mean, I think about it, and I think that this could be my one opportunity to be more than this girl behind the bar cleaning glasses. I could show everyone that I'm smarter than they think I am, and I could have more than I've ever even dreamed of, and I know I can do it, I can. I've learned so much already, and I've all these cool ideas, and my brain, sometimes it won't stop cranking. I can't even go to sleep.
Bianca: So what's stopping you?
Babe: Greenlee didn't exactly give me her shares, because she saw some business whiz underneath the blonde. She gave them to me, because she wants me to rip on Kendall. But I don't want to hurt your sister, Bianca. If I hurt her, it'd be like -- it would be like me hurting you all over again. And I've done enough of that to last a lifetime. But if you want me to -- if you want me, I will take Zachís offer. You say the word, and I'll walk away.
Bianca: This is an interesting predicament.
Babe: I mean, is it me or is Fusion not the opportunity of a lifetime? Or maybe I'm just being selfish. The thing is I just want to make the right decision this time.
Bianca: I can't do it. I can't tell you to sell your shares of Fusion. I can't make this decision for you. I just have one question. You really think that you can handle Kendall?
Babe: I don't know. Maybe. I hope.
Babe: It's just that -- you should've just kick some sand in my face and kept on walking, but you're standing right here.
Bianca: Well, it's exactly what I would've done until not too long ago. I hated you. The more joy Miranda gave me, the more I hated you for taking her away from me. But then I realized that I got to try to let go of this hate. I'll never forget it. I'll never understand how my best friend could've taken my child. But it's done enough damage. I don't want to let that darkness touch the precious time that I have with Miranda. I -- I don't want to let it hurt me anymore.
Babe: If someone did to me what I did to you, I would -- I would hate them till the grave, and I would make them suffer a million times over along the way.
Bianca: Hey, but I realized that that would tear me apart just as much as you, and you're -- it's not worth it. Hmm. See? Still hurts. I guess that's always going to be there, and so's the anger. But I'm not wearing it around my neck anymore, and I'm going to try not to throw it in your face again. I don't wish you any more pain.
Kendall: Love is a wonderful thing, J.R. You should try it sometime. Just not with that skanky ho Babe.
J.R.: At least Babe made an effort. I mean, why is Slaterís demon so much holier than Babe's?
Kendall: Ok, wait a minute, if Babe made such a great flippin' effort here, then how come you're over at my house trying to get into my bed?
J.R.: No, don't change the subject. Zach is dangerous. If he says he loves you, it's because he wants something. You'd better get rid of that guy before it's too late.
Kendall: Ok, listen, why don't you just kiss me on the cheek, say you're happy for me, and then leave?
J.R.: What if Slater turns around tomorrow and hurts you again?
Kendall: No, J.R., I'm not going to do that. That's the old Kendall. I'm not her anymore, fear the worse and strike first. It's bad, it's damaging, it's completely self-destructive.
J.R.: Well, I think that's good. You need to protect yourself.
Kendall: J.R., I have just had the most magical 24 hours of my entire life. I never even thought that I would make it to this point. Now, I'm not going to let you bury me in this fear and doubt garbage.
J.R.: I only doubt when your happiness is being tossed out in the garbage.
Kendall: I am happy, J.R. I am truly happy for the first time in I don't even know when. Now, maybe it won't last forever, but right now I am going to ride this high as long as I can, and I will not you screw it up for me.
Di: You know, maybe Madden's telling the truth about everything, not just the research. I mean, he admitted to being a huge Erica Kane fan.
Di: Yeah, and I had some pretty crazy crushes on some pop stars for more years than I'd like to admit.
Tad: You sure you're over it?
Tad: Well, that's my point. I rest my case. You outgrew it. He hasn't. He's been carrying around this Erica Kane torch for way too long. I'm telling you, it's really creepy.
Di: I think it's kind of sad, the whole "longing for unrequited love" thing.
Tad: It's called stalking, and it's illegal in most states.
Di: You know, maybe Greg just wants to sweep Erica off her feet, you know, become the next Mr. Erica Kane.
Tad: No, it's more like Madden figures with Erica's track record, if he sticks around long enough, he'll probably get lucky.
Di: I think you're being too hard on him.
Tad: Oh, come on.
Di: I do. He's been open about everything -- the Erica crush, the research. Maybe he just is what he is, you know, a brilliant doctor.
Tad: Listen to me -- I've been doing this for a long time. Everything I know, everything I feel tells me that Madden is hiding something. The sad part is I may not be good enough to figure out what it is. When it comes down to it -- comes down to it, Erica may be the only person who can get to the truth.
Erica: What was I thinking, trusting that --
Janet: Miss me?
Erica: Did you find a cab?
Janet: Even better -- free ride, as long as you don't mind sharing space with a couple of dozen onions.
Erica: Pardon me? What?
Janet: Well, actually, the onions are in the back of the truck. But Durwood's got a schedule to keep, but he would be thrilled to drop you off at your studio.
Erica: I see. Ok, well, that's very kind of him and you.
Janet: Oh, no, that's all right. There's just a teensy, weensy little condition. You don't mind giving him an autograph, do you?
Erica: He's a fan?
Janet: Ha! He would be an ever bigger one if you would give me a big old lipsticky kiss and tell him how much you enjoyed "the time you shared."
Janet: Oh, one more thing.
Janet: I really think it would be better if Amanda didn't know that we had this little chat. I mean, she is all about being independent right now and having her own space, and I think she would see it as Mama Bear interfering and not two old friends catching up.
Erica: Great, no, I won't say a word.
Janet: Really, I think it would be very important for her not to know that we even spoke. She really wants to do everything on her own.
Janet: And I'm going to make sure that it happens.
Erica: Of course, ok. Well, thank you, Janet. Thank you.
[Janet enters the room where she has little scenes of Pine Valley set up.]
Image: You really screwed up this time. Now Erica knows where your hideout is.
Janet: She hasn't got a clue. I told her I was waiting for a bus.
Image: You are out there where the buses don't run, remember? Erica is so onto you.
Janet: It was just a coincidence. Her driver left her, and I was just trying to be friendly.
Image: When are you going to stop being so naive? There's no such thing as coincidence. They're all God's little joke -- on you.
Janet: This time the joke is on them.
Kendall: J.R., we've been through a lot together. We've shared secrets and long nights. We're as close as any friends could be. But it was silly of us to think that we could get along on just sex and laughs.
J.R.: But what we got is better than love. I've got your back, you've got mine. We trust each other. No one gets hurt.
Kendall: Yeah, but maybe this is where we were wrong. I mean, it's silly of us to hide out in our own little clubhouse, because we're afraid to love.
J.R.: Who's afraid? I've got all the love in the world. I get love from my son. I don't need the rest -- the hassles, the games. What we had, it kept me going. I could always count on you. I could always count on us.
Kendall: You still can. I adore you, J.R. I always will. Except when you defend Babe. But I've got to give this love thing a chance. I have to try. I have to see if it works out.
J.R.: Yeah, well, you can take a scenic route, you can hike to Machu Picchu for all I care. You're going to always end up in the same spot -- dead end.
Kendall: Ok, I get it, there's no guarantees. I'm flying without a chute, and I don't care. This is the best rush in the world, and I don't ever want it to end.
J.R.: When that rush runs out, I'll still be here.
Kendall: Ok, just do me a favor. Either support me, or go away. Better yet, fall in love. Find an amazing woman, fall in love with her. Just go for it. And when you do, don't ever, ever let anyone talk you out of it.
Babe: Why couldn't I fall in love? Look at you, you're so perfect.
Bianca: Oh, that's right, I am, aren't I?
Bianca: Too bad you're not gay.
Babe: Yeah, there is that.
Bianca: Love isn't any easier when you are.
Babe: Yeah, but I haven't exactly had the best of luck in the guy department lately. Wouldn't hurt to give it a shot.
Bianca: I guess love isn't really easy for anyone.
Babe: I haven't had a real friend since I lost you.
Bianca: Friendship like ours --
Bianca: I still have that picture you gave me, the two of us sitting on the park bench with our babies. I take it out every so often, remember.
Bianca: Miranda's going to wonder where her mommy is. Good luck, Babe, with everything.
Babe: Thank you.
Tad: It's driving me crazy. I mean, I can tell you what he likes to eat, what he likes to read, where he went on vacation. Hell, I can even tell you where he went to nursery school. But when it comes to Erica, I just keep coming up with a big, fat nothing.
Di: Except a feeling -- Erica's and yours.
Tad: Yeah, that's right, Erica's and mine. Till she remembers where it is that they met, I just -- I haven't got a clue as to where to go from here. There's got to be something I overlooked, something I'm missing. You know, there always is, like a name or a date, some kind of angle, but what? What is it I'm missing, I mean, or just failing to see? I mean, it's probably staring me dead in the face. God, come on, Dixie, say something. Help me out here.
Erica: I want an explanation.
Josh: Thank God you're back, Erica. We were so worried about you.
Erica: There had better be a really good reason why I was stranded.
Josh: Well, where were you? What happened?
Erica: The limo dropped me off at some God-forsaken warehouse. A warehouse, Josh.
Josh: Well --
Erica: And then just left.
Josh: I'll get on the phone with the limo service.
Erica: No, that is not good enough. I want the head of the owner of that company on a pole right outside my window where I can see it.
Josh: I'll check into it. In the meantime, let me get you up to speed --
Erica: Some moron just drops me off in the middle of nowhere when I have a critical interview to do, a show to put on. I mean, this is a complete -- this is an absolute disaster. Ten minutes of dead air space? Are you kidding? I mean, do I even want to hear what you came up with to replace that interview -- turn that up.
Josh: Erica, I know we had --
Erica: Turn it up.
Josh: You're truly an inspiration. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. This is Josh Madden sitting in for Erica Kane.
Erica: Amanda, leave.
[Greg eavesdrops from around a corner.]
Erica: Choose your words very carefully, Josh. How the hell did this happen?
[Kendall is surprised when her jeans don't fit right anymore.]
[J.R. spies on Babe sitting on the beach.]
[Dressed as a nun, Janet genuflects and hums some prayer.]
Janet: Freedom, freedom is calling, freedom is calling me --
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Erica (to Josh): Clean out your desk. You're fired.
Di (to Tad): So you think Dixieís never told a lie. She's told plenty of lies.
Tad (to Di): How would you know?
Kendall (to Zach): You really think you can handle this baby when you still completely hate his father?
J.R.: I'm sorry, Babe.
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