AMC Transcript Monday 12/19/05

All My Children Transcript Monday 12/19/05

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Josh: I put that call in to Teri Hatcher's people. I'm still waiting to hear back from her. And Apple's signed off on gifting the mini-Ipods to the audience on Thursday.

Erica: That's terrific. But those are not the updates I was hoping for.

Josh: I'm still waiting to hear on the other housewives.

Erica: Your father, Josh. You said that you would get to the bottom of this -- this grudge he has against me. Now, we both know that this claim he makes about meeting me once in passing and having an endless crush on me isn't true.

Greg: If you'd really like to know the truth, I'll give it to you.

Adam: Gentlemen, I -- well, really, this -- what we have here --

Krystal: My what holiday-challenged hubby is trying to say is grab a hat, grab a brewski, and let's all toast the baby Jesus! How about it? Sorry about the mess. Things got a little crazy here when we cracked open that first can of whipped cheese.

Palmer: Well, thank you for inviting us.

Krystal: Oh, help yourself to the pork rinds, Palmer.

Palmer: Mmm, mmm.

Adam: I know you're trying to humiliate me in front of my colleagues, and I'm not scared. You should be, because I give as good as I get -- better -- when you least expect it.

Krystal: Oh, but I do expect it, Adam. And I like it that way. Yeah, it keeps me on my toes, one step ahead of you at all times. Which reminds me -- Santa brought you a little present today. Problem is he didn't really say whether or not you were naughty or nice, so I guess we're just going to have to wait and see.

Adam: Krystal, don't do it. Whatever it is, don't --

Krystal: You are going to get it tonight! Floyd? Give me one of those cocktail weenies, Babe.

J.R.: You try and steal my son again, you'll be in prison before Christmas.

Babe: Who said anything about stealing? I have a real shot at getting my son back legally.

J.R.: You don't stand a chance against my legal team.

Babe: I have a respectable job, I make enough money. I can hire a top lawyer. Now, I've already lost you, J.R. I'm not going to lose my son, too. You have made it blindingly clear that you want nothing to do with me, and this whole fantasy that I had about you and me and Little Adam being this perfect family -- it's a pipe dream. Now, I've accepted that, and I've moved on, but sometimes the way -- the way you look at me or the way that you hold me -- it's all in my head, isn't it? There's no way you'll ever love me like that again. Will you?

Tad: Hey.

Jamie: Ah, another toy to keep you from working.

Tad: Au contraire. This is an office Christmas present. It's supposed to help relaxation and reduce stress. What are you smirking at? It just so happens your father has a very stressful job. Hours alone will kill you.

Jamie: Really?

Tad: Mm-hmm.

Jamie: Still warm. Must be one of those super rare, laid-back days.

Tad: I told your mother it was a mistake to teach you to talk.

Jamie: Here's something different. How about you do the talking and I actually listen? I need some advice, Dad. Amanda may have inherited more than Janetís smile. Mommy's little monster may be going completely off the rails.

[Someone in a Santa costume offers Little Adam a candy cane in his crib.]

Erin: Wow, a knock. And -- and I had just gotten used to you peering through windows.

Aidan: Is Jonathan here?

Erin: No, Jonathan is not here. Don't tell me my brother finally ditched his shadow. And here I thought you were an A-list stalker.

Aidan: You know, somebody spotted Jonathan posing as Santa Claus at the mall. Now, can you imagine the look on Mommy and Daddyís face when the man promising little Billy a shiny new bicycle is that of a three-time murderer? You know, if it wasn't for Babe and J.R. Chandler exposing him, who knows what he would've done.

Erin: Jonathan would never, ever hurt innocent children.

Aidan: Well, why did he run, then? And where did he take off to? You have all the answers, Erin. Tell me -- do you have any idea where your brother is right now?

Little Adam: This is my candy. This is my candy.

Tad: Oh, that's priceless! I would've paid cash money to see that! David Hayward, waking up in an operating theater, mask on his face, two inches away from open-heart surgery. Bet they had to change the sheets on that gurney. Oh, come on! What's wrong with you? You can't tell me you don't think that's hysterical.

Jamie: I would if it weren't for all the other not-so-funny accidents going down -- Babe falling down those stairs, the Chandlers' soup being poisoned, Kendall being strung up off a roof.

Tad: You think Amandaís to blame for all of that?

Jamie: It's possible. She says she can't account for her time, says she's having black-outs.

Tad: Well, that's not so illogical. I mean, the poor kid did suffer a head injury.

Jamie: Or not. Either way, I told her I believed her, played the good friend, even invited her to stay with me, so we could figure it out together.

Tad: Oh, daring strategy, considering you never trusted her.

Jamie: Well, I trust her less even now. I walked in and she was mouthing off about how she wanted to destroy Babe.

Tad: Ah. The plot thickens. So, how'd she weasel out of that one?

Jamie: She didnít. Even after I accused her of lying about her black-outs to cover her tracks, she stuck to her story. See, I thought I could force her to admit to what she's done, but I was wrong. And now I have no idea how to get the truth out of her.

Tad: Oh, my son. It's so clear to me now I should've stolen you at birth and taken you far, far away.

Little Adam: This -- that's a soccer ball. That's a soccer ball. Let me see.

[The mysterious Santa Claus winds up a music box.]

Little Adam: That's -- what's this?

J.R.: You think gazing at me with those lovesick puppy eyes are going to change the way I feel towards you? You know where I stand. Accept it, deal with it, and quit pushing for more.

Babe: God, I am so pathetic. After how many times you've rejected me, and still -- when you popped out that engagement ring, J.R., I have to say that I think it's probably one of the cruelest things that you've ever done to me -- to let me think even just for a minute that we could be together when you know it's the one thing I want more than anything next to being with my son. And then you go on, you tell me that it's for some other woman -- your future wife. You gutted me, J.R. Still, here I am hoping and wishing. It's lame, I know.

J.R.: Yes, it's totally lame.

Babe: And I'm not -- I can't stop you from meeting someone else and marrying her and bringing her home to this bed. But I will not let her take my place in Little Adamís life because I am his mama, his only mama, and I'll hire as many lawyers as it takes to keep it that way. I'm going for joint custody, J.R. Like it or not, we're going to have to share our son.

J.R.: I wasn't going to take him from you until you spit out that load about keeping him from me.

Babe: Because you hurt me, I wanted to hurt you back.

J.R.: Yeah, well, you went for the jugular. Nice plan of attack, Babe.

Babe: J.R., I know that I destroyed you when I took our son from you, and I can see now that it really was a big mistake, because Little Adam loves you to pieces. You're his life.

J.R.: But? Oh, come on, Babe, don't hold back. Come on, give me the big threat, the ultimatum. Tell me you're going to make me pay, you're going to make me suffer if I don't share equal rights to our son.

Babe: J.R., you suffered enough when I told you that our son was dead. Now, I never want to see you grieve like that again, even after every single thing that you've put me through. I love you too much to cause you any more pain.

Adam: Gentlemen, isn't this so funny? My wife put together this whole thing as a practical joke. She did it all herself -- the junk food, the beers, the hooligans running all over my home. Hmm? Highly-paid actors, every one. And not a -- not a dishonorable one in the bunch.

Floyd: Hang on. We're fresh out of scotch, Frosty, and Krissy said you could show us where to find a refill?

Singer: Santa Claus rocks

Adam: That's a $400 bottle of single malt, you degenerate!

Floyd: Yeah, you know where we can get some more?

Adam: No. No, I'm not going to waste another drop of my premium reserve on a man with barbecue sauce in his hair.

Krystal: Well, you can always show him where you stash the moonshine, snowflake.

Floyd: Whoa!

Krystal: Moonshine, moonshine.

Crowd: Moonshine, moonshine, moonshine.

Palmer: Moonshine, moonshine. Hey, moonshine is bathtub liquor that's made in the backwoods where Adam hails from.

Adam: Palmer, you ought to know -- the backwoods is where your ma/cousin/sister birthed you.

Palmer: You dare -- you dare malign the name of the Cooneys!

Adam: Oh, there's no problem. You're below contempt.

Palmer: All right. All right, put 'em up! Put 'em up, Adam! Put 'em up!

Crowd: Fight, fight, fight!

Krystal: Wait, wait, now. Now, hang on here. If you're really going to do this, then give me that empty scotch bottle.

Palmer: Come on, come on.

Krystal: I don't want the reindeer I hired for later to get glass in their little paws.

Adam: Reindeer?

Palmer: All right, all right, Adam. Adam, don't make me beg!

Crowd: Fight, fight, fight!

[Crowd shouts]

Krystal: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait now, sluggers here. Now, we're going to be here all night before somebody throws that first punch, so what say we just bag this slugfest, and I'll whip out the big guns, huh?

Adam: No guns.

Krystal: No -- honey, no. It's my surprise. Santa's gift?

Adam: On second thought, maybe I should have a gun.

Krystal: No, no, no. No, there's nothing to be worried about, lovey pants. It's just something that I wanted to share with all our guests, my favorite moment -- the night that you took me as your lawfully wedded wife.

[Crowd cheers]

Erin: No, no. For the 50th time, I don't know where Jonathan is right now. But he is due home in an hour and a half, so why don't you just, you know, go wait out in your little hiding place in the bushes and check back then? He will not be late.

Aidan: And what should I be looking out for, a guy in a red suit? Or do you think he'll be in another disguise by then?

Erin: You know what? I'm going to believe in my brother.

Aidan: Oh, come on. Look, just tell me -- has he called you in the last, say, hour? Well, at least clue me in on where he goes to be alone.

Erin: I will bet you 100 bucks that Jonathan comes home on time and isn't dragging any dead bodies. Deal?

Aidan: Deal.

Erin: Hmm. If you won't let me slam the door in your face, why don't you come and wait inside? It's too cold to leave the door hanging open.

Lily: He did it. Jonathan did it.

Greg: On Thanksgiving, you accused me of going after your family because of something from our past. I think it's time I cleared that up. But I'm not going to do it with an audience.

Josh: Son. "Audience."

Erica: This is my office. Josh is my friend. If he wants to hear this --

Josh: No, it's ok, Erica. I have a million phone calls I need to make. Besides, it's probably better you do this one-on-one.

Greg: You don't put much weight on my story that we met at a party years ago. That was the first and only time we laid eyes on each other until recently.

Erica: Greg, if you have come all this way just to peddle that same tired story --

Greg: On your honeymoon when I saw you with your husband, it was surreal. In an instant, I felt like a young man again spotting you across a room.

Erica: We've already established this, that you were a fan with a megacrush. I want to know what you're not telling me.

Greg: It was more than a crush. From the very instant I laid eyes on you, I fell madly in love with you.

Erica: If I had a dollar for every fan letter I get from men declaring their love for me --

Greg: I'm sure the number is staggering. And why not? You're a very beautiful woman. You're witty, you're confident, you're charming, you're a household name. I've kept telling myself all these years those are the reasons I can't get you out of my mind.

Erica: But you can't confuse a crush with true love. I mean, they're not even on the same plane.

Greg: No, you're right. Crushes fade. But when I saw you on your honeymoon, I had the same heart-stopping reaction to you.

Erica: If this extreme fixation you have on me is true, I mean, how in the world did you ever keep it from your wife?

Greg: Oh, please don't misunderstand me. I've led a very normal life, a very happy life. I was deeply in love with my wife. She wanted for nothing, including my affections. And when Josh came into the picture, why, it only made our life better for us.

Erica: So you're a functioning obsessed fan? I feel so much better.

Greg: You wanted the truth.

Erica: If this is all so innocent, what are you doing in Pine Valley taking my daughter and my stepdaughter as your patients? Please.

Greg: When my wife died, I was lost. Josh had left home. The only thing I had was my career. I had kept tabs on you over the years from a distance. When I ran into you, I was rethinking many things in my life. I'd heard you mention Pine Valley in interviews. I came to see it for myself. I felt at home. The rest you know.

Erica: And you expect me to believe that it's just that innocuous, just some kind of big cosmic twist of fate?

Greg: No. Your suspicions are right. Getting to know you these past few months -- the real woman, not just someone from the magazines -- has had a profound impact on me. So you're right. You have felt there is something else. I'm not here to harm you. I'm not here to destroy you. I'm still very much in love with you.

Babe: The engagement ring -- it really was incredible. Looks like you put a lot of time into picking it out. Does that mean you have someone in mind?

J.R.: To marry? No.

Babe: Is it Kendall? Because I heard that she and Zach are getting a divorce.

J.R.: No, I'm not marrying Kendall! I'm not marrying anyone! I'm not in any hurry to go to the altar. I'm not going to make the same mistake --

Babe: Again? You can say it. I know that you think that our marriage was a mistake. But it makes sense that you'd want to do things right. That way you won't end up hating your second wife like you hate your first.

J.R.: Let's talk about something else, ok?

Babe: Just can't help but thinking what she'll be like.

J.R.: Jeez, Babe, I haven't even met the woman, and you're already jealous.

Babe: I'm sorry, I can't help it because she's going to have everything that I want -- your attention and your affection, that little smile that you get when you wake up in the morning and realize it's the weekend. Or the way that you can't leave a room without giving a kiss good-bye, and not just on the lips, but on the -- the nose, the eyelids, the forehead. Scary movies, popcorn in bed, long road trips down the coast singing cheesy monster ballads. How can I not hate her when she's going to get all that?

J.R.: You remember those things?

Babe: Ever since you told me that you were falling for me again, those memories are all I've been thinking about -- what we had, what we were. I lied to you, J.R. I do want to marry you, so bad I can taste it.

Tad: Did you ever wonder where you get this supercharged-turbo-good-guy thing? I'll tell you. You get it from your mother. If I had been smart, I would've locked Brooke up when you were born and only let her out to feed and change you. By now you might be a little twisted, but you'd be smart enough to realize that honesty is the last way you're ever going to get the truth out of Amanda Dillon. You were better off when you were playing the concerned friend -- reeling her in, getting her to think that you trusted her. The last thing you ever should've done is confront her.

Jamie: Oh, ok, but I heard her say she wanted to trash Babe.

Tad: So what? You got to think like a detective. You can't jump from A to Z just because you hear her say -- you hear her say she wants to trash Babe doesn't equal her shoving Babe down a flight of stairs or trying to poison her soup. If she is behind it and she is anything like her mother, she is going to be brilliant at covering her tracks. You want to crack a nut like that, you got to be just as cracked as she is, which means you have to bag your mother's old-fashioned honesty or you're never going to get the proof you need.

Jamie: I will get the answer, Dad, before Babe ends up dead.

Babe: Call me crazy, total sucker for punishment, whatever. But it's what I want more than anything -- to be your wife.

J.R.: David warned me you'd pull this. And Jamie warned him.

Babe: You're right, I did want you to fall in love with me. I did want you to marry me again, but not because I had some scheme that I was cooking up to get my son back. Because I truly love you, even more than the first time and, God help me, even after everything you've done to me. But knowing that it'll never happen, that you'll never take me back -- it's got to be the cruelest joke of all.

[Krystal laughs]

Krystal: Whoo-hoo!

Willie: Is this thing on? Ladies and gentlemen, this is yours truly, the Reverend Willie Wurmwood, here at the moonshine drink-off where the contestants are falling fast. Well, we do seem to have a few competitors still going strong, however. Hiya, folks. You're on TV!

Adam: Hey.

Krystal: Hey, Willie. Hey.

Adam: Willie, Willie, come here. Come here. You're just in time to settle a debate. Is she the most "bootiful" woman --

Krystal: Aw.

Adam: You ever laid eyes on? Hmm?

[Krystal laughs]

Krystal: You're just saying that, Adam.

Crowd: Aw.

Krystal: And you know what? I like it.

[Crowd laughs]

Adam: Oh, I got to -- oh, I got to tell you, I'm just going to die a thousand deaths if I can't have you.

Palmer: Oh! Oh, Krystal, you have got to get me a copy of this.

[Crowd laughs]

Krystal: I'm kind of an old-fashioned girl, and I just don't fall into bed with -- with anybody. Ooh!

Adam: Well, then marry me.

Man: Whoo!

Adam: Marry me.

Krystal: Oh.

Adam: Hmm? You -- you say yes, and I'll be the happiest man in the world. If you say no, I'm going to die right here on this floor right in all these -- these peanut shells and cigarette butts and -- is that a tooth?

[Crowd laughs]

Adam: So, anyway -- believe me, I'm begging you. Marry me.

[Crowd cheers]

Erica: You can't be in love with me. You don't know me, not really.

Greg: You've never felt an instant connection with someone in your life? It's unexplainable. It knocks you completely off-guard, but from somewhere deep inside, you just know that your worlds are meant to collide.

Erica: But I never had that feeling with you. I don't actually even remember meeting you. No, I mean, you -- you left my mind as soon as you entered it.

Greg: Well, not completely. I have been in contact with you over the years, even though you don't know it. The bouquet of midnight-blue orchids on your birthday --

Erica: That was you?

Greg: In an old Novalis novel, the blue flower represents the man's love for a woman from afar. So what you've been picking up on all these years -- well, it's been my love for you. I'm very sorry if I've upset you, because I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. But the fact is if you were not married, I would do absolutely everything necessary to make you fall in love with me, too.

[From the other room, Josh listens in on the conversation through a bug in Ericaís office.]

Lily: Jonathan said that when he was decorating for Christmas, he wouldn't use any red lights or red ornaments so I could enjoy it, too. And there's nothing red in here. Everything is green and blue and white, just as he promised.

Erin: Lily, I'm -- I'm Erin. I'm Jonathanís sister.

Lily: Oh. I won't take your hand because I'm uncomfortable touching people, but it's good to meet you. Jonathan's told me all about you.

Aidan: Exactly how much time are you spending with Jonathan?

Lily: Exactly? Well, I'd have to calculate it. I don't --

Erin: Aidan, she clearly does not have a problem with my brother, ok? Please stop trying to make something out of nothing.

Aidan: Have you seen Jonathan today?

Lily: Yes, at the mall. I was shopping and there was so many people and it was really loud, and even though I had my sunglasses on, there was too much red and, so he offered to do my Christmas shopping for me, so I could go home.

Erin: Can I ask you what -- what you have against red?

Aidan: You know, some people saw Jonathan dressed up as Santa Claus at the mall today, and when they approached him he ran off. Do you have any idea where Jonathan may have gone?

Lily: Well, if he was Santa, maybe he's going around town giving Christmas presents to all the children that were good this year.

J.R.: Babe, come back here!

Babe: Just let me see my son, J.R.

J.R.: Babe, I think we should talk about this.

Babe: I've said too much as it is. I'm through talking, J.R. Come on.

[Babe and J.R. walk into the nursery just as Santa lays out his snowsuit.]

Babe: My God, what is all over his face?

J.R.: Is he bleeding?

Babe: Come here! I don't know. It's candy. Who would let him go to bed with something like that? He's all by himself. He could have choked. Honey --

J.R.: It's that party downstairs.

Babe: Oh, my God.

J.R.: Any one of those idiots could have came up here and given it to him.

Babe: Sweetie --

J.R.: Daddy's relieved you're ok. Mommy and Daddy are, both.

Babe: It's red candy.

Little Adam: Candy.

[Santa hides in the secret passageway.]

Erin: Jonathan playing Santa -- you know, cruising Pine Valley, shimmying down chimneys -- that's -- that's very funny, Lily.

Lily: Well, I wasn't trying to be funny. I have Autism Spectrum Disorder, and I don't know how to tell jokes. And I really don't even usually know when to laugh at them. And I don't like being touched, and I don't like the color red.

Erin: Well, so -- listen, I'm sure Jonathan is just finishing up Lilyís Christmas shopping. But if you two want to wait for him, can I talk you into lending me a hand with something?

Lily: Well, we can't lend you our hands, because they're attached to your wrists. But I suppose we could help.

Krystal: Your mission is over!

Palmer: Yeah.

Krystal: I have refreshed my drink, and I am just itching to show you the happy ending.

Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, how much of your wedding night do we get to see here, Krystal?

Adam: We didn't tape that, you pervert.

Man: Aw.

Adam: Did we?

Krystal: Oh, now, don't get your boxers in a bunch. Some things are sacred.

Adam: Marry me, Krystal, please. Please, just be my wife. Be my wife. Marry me!

Willie: Hank, here you go, this camera is all yours. Gather around, all. We going to have ourselves a wedding!

[Crowd cheers]

Willie: And I, the Reverend Willie, am honored to do the honors. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this evening on this joyous occasion to bring together --

Adam: No, no, no, no! Don't do that. I've had so many miserable weddings in my life, I just -- just all that preamble just kills my buzz. Why don't we just stick right to the vows? Krystal, I do hereby promise you that I will not only make you my wife tonight, but I will keep on making you my wife as often as possible --

Crowd: Oh!

Adam: As long as you and I find ourselves both horizontal.

Crowd: Ooh!

Adam: Be mine! I do!

Krystal: I do!

[Crowd cheers]

Erica: This doesn't make any sense. I've been horrible to you. I investigated you, I've threatened you, I accused you. You couldn't possibly still love me after all that.

Greg: I shouldnít. I don't want to. But no matter how hard I try to hate you, I -- I can't.

Erica: So everything you've done -- everything you've said since you've been in Pine Valley -- that's been out of love for me? Then will you please tell me why on earth you helped to impregnate Kendall? Was that out of love for me? Or was that to punish me, because I didn't love you back?

Erica: I made it very clear to you that my husband was dead-set against Greenlee carrying Ryanís child. The next thing I know, Kendall turns up pregnant. Did you inseminate my daughter to cause trouble between me and Jack?

Greg: Absolutely not. My professional relationship with Kendall and Greenlee is absolutely separate from my feelings for you. The two are completely unrelated.

Erica: And you seriously expect me to buy that? You just stood here and told me you've been madly in love with me for years. You moved to Pine Valley because of me. And yet meddling in my daughter's life -- that is a coincidence?

Greg: You wanted the truth. I have just given you the truth. Every single word I've told you is true. You're an exquisite woman. You're one of a kind. You're just like the flowers I've sent you every year. I'm not going to pretend any longer.

Erica: Oh, I can't listen to any more of this.

Josh: Any of that true, Pop? Or did you make it all up just to get Erica off your back?

Palmer: Krystal, Adam is a fool. And I should hope, after what we've witnessed here today, that the board would consider something that I have known for years, of course -- that Adam Chandler has lost his mind.

Man: Well, he must be missing some marbles to walk away from such a lovely woman.

Adam: No, no. Listen to me. This -- don't listen to them. They want my money. You see, they want my money. Krystal and Cortlandt are -- staged this whole thing to make me look like a fool!

Krystal: You see how he is? He's always twisting things around. I can't do anything right.

Palmer: You see, whether -- whether Adam likes it or not, Krystal owns half of Chandler Enterprises, and if you ask me, the only sane half. Now, as Krystalís official financial consultant, I would highly suggest and urge the board to back Krystal and unseat Adam before he loses all of his marbles and takes Chandler Enterprises down with him.

Adam: I am not insane. I am not insane! I am -- I am not insane!

Tad: Huh?

Jamie: Dad -- Dad, stop, ok? This is Babeís life we're talking about.

Tad: You're still in love with her?

Jamie: No, Babe and I are history. It doesn't mean I don't want to -- don't want her to get hurt, or J.R., either.

Tad: Yeah, see, there it is all over again. The good guy rearing his ugly head. How's this one, huh?

Jamie: Ok, you know, I know you dropped a couple Gs on this thing, but it kind of blows.

[Phone rings]

Tad: Don't listen to him, baby. Daddy loves you. Oh, come to Papa.

Jamie: Hello? Hey, Michelle, what's up? That could be fun. Cool, I'll see you then.

Tad: Either Gretchen changed her name to Michelle, or I'm out of the loop.

Jamie: Oh, Gretchen was last week. Michelle's a massage therapist.

Tad: Ah. Suddenly it becomes clear. No wonder you don't like my little dynamo. You got the real thing, you stud, you. Yeah, you don't get that from your mother.

Jamie: And I'm eternally grateful. So I keep on Amanda --

Tad: Play it smart. Work her. See if you can catch her off-guard.

Jamie: I got to tell you, though, this chick is weird. I walked in and she's dressed in a Santa suit, trying to look all cutesy and jolly. Only she's raging about destroying Babe.

Tad: Wait a minute. Amanda was wearing a Santa suit?

Jamie: Who knows?

Babe: All clean. Look -- clean, clean, clean, ready for bed. Oh, there you go, sweet boy. You're doing it again. You're looking at me like you do, all sweet, right before you kick me in the teeth and tell me you hate me. Haven't I suffered enough already?

J.R.: I think he's falling asleep.

Babe: You know, I used to fantasize about this, too. You and me, coming in to check on our son, all huddled over the crib. Like a real family. You know, he's never going to go to sleep with us here. We should go. Sweet dreams.

Josh: Time's up. We need an answer. Were you just snowing Erica or not?

Greg: You had no right to spy on us.

[Josh imitates buzzer]

Josh: That's not a valid answer. Try again.

Greg: Whose side are you on?

Josh: Josh's side. Now, back to the million-dollar question, Pop. Was saying you love Erica just a cover?

Greg: I never lie about love. I also didn't tell Erica how intensely you dislike her -- because of family loyalty, something obviously that doesn't matter to you. It better matter soon. Don't you ever betray me again.

[Phone rings]

Tad: Hello?

Erica: Tad, I had just had the most unreal conversation with Greg Madden. I mean, either he is the most romantic man who ever lived, or he's certifiable. He claims he's in love with me and has been for years.

Tad: Do you believe him?

Erica: He certainly seems sincere. But I know there's a bigger piece to the story. The entire time I was with him, I just had this intense intuition that he's -- he's still hiding something. So keep digging into Greg Maddenís past, please, Tad. Somehow I just have a feeling that it's really up to me to uncover whatever this deep connection is between us.

Krystal: I want to thank you all for coming, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring this party to a close.

Crowd: Aw!

Krystal: I know, I know. I hope some of you had some fun and appreciated all the hard work that I did.

[Crowd cheers]

Man: We had a wonderful time, Mrs. Chandler. It was a delightful party. And, Palmer?

Palmer: Mm-hmm?

Man: We're going to give what you said some serious consideration.

Second man: Mm-hmm. Don't you worry about a thing, Mrs. Chandler.

First man: We're on your side.

Krystal: Thank you. I appreciate that, I really do. Thank you very much, now. Thank you.

Adam: You can't seriously be falling for all this. I am sane, for Godís sakes!

Krystal: All right, see you.

Adam: Come back here!

Krystal: Go ahead, take it. Hey, you taking off, too, Winnie?

Winifred: I -- I just thought I'd give Monty a proper good-bye in his semi.

Monty: Go --

[Monty and Winifred laugh]

Palmer: Hey, Krystal, I -- I wouldn't mind a rerun of the Crow Hollow nuptials, if you wouldn't mind some company.

Adam: You'd better get out of here. I'll put you up in that monitor headfirst.

Krystal: Oh, that's all right, Palmer, you can go. I think poor Adamís a little bit too broken to give me any trouble. And if he did, I'll have him licking dirt in no time.

Palmer: No doubt you will. Good night.

Krystal: Good night. Why don't you go on up, Adam, put your poor, tired body to bed? What are you doing? What -- don't -- you stay away from me. One step closer, and I'm going to Ė

[Adam and Krystal start kissing]

Erin: Jonathan always wanted a train when we were kids, and now he's finally going to get his wish.

[Cell phone alarm beeps]

Lily: Oh. That means my time is up. I have to go.

[Train stops]

Lily: Will one of you please ask Jonathan about my family's Christmas presents?

Aidan: Sure.

Erin: Thank you for your help with the train, Lily.

Lily: You're welcome. Tell Jonathan I love his tree. Bye.

Erin: It's not late yet.

Aidan: Did I say a word?

Erin: I will not let you shake my faith in my brother.

Aidan: I'm not trying to.

[Train starts]

Aidan: Listen, Erin, who said you could drive my train? Come on, give it to me.

Erin: No way, you're hogging it! It's my turn to be the conductor.

Aidan: No, I built the track.

Erin: Whoa!

Aidan: See? Always knew you were a train wreck.

J.R.: All right, you know what? I threw that ring in your face, because I wanted you to be mad. I wanted you to feel as hurt as I did this time last year. I don't trust you, Babe. But I don't hate you.

Babe: So, what? Are you saying there's still maybe hope for us?

[In the nursery, Santa puts Little Adam in his snowsuit and gives him a candy cane.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Erica: What is this place?

Jack: My gift to us. Our new house.

Bianca: In the spirit of the season, I am back. What can I do to help?

Winifred: Little Adamís not in the kitchen.

Babe: He's not in the nursery. Oh, my God, no.

Adam: Search this house top to bottom.

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