AMC Transcript Wednesday 12/7/05

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 12/7/05

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Danielle: No less than an hour till the party. Ew!

Ethan: That better not be the new test fragrance.

Danielle: Oh, if you find the body, I'll call the morgue.

Simone: What? I smudged.

Danielle: Does "smudge" mean that fish rot in your desk drawer?

Simone: I purified the atmosphere with herbs and incantations, ok? The office had a horrible hate-and-pain vibe from Greenlee and Kendall’s breakup.

Ethan: Vibe's gone?

Simone: Well, we still have Kendall. And outside of her being late for her own party and not answering her phone --

[Phone rings]

Simone: It's all good -- or not.

Kendall: Leave me alone, now!

[Ringing stops]

Kendall: Oh, thank you. Just let me hurl in peace and quiet, please.

[Pounding on door]

Kendall: Go away!

J.R.: Kendall? You open up this door, or I'll break it down!

Kendall: Oh -- oh, God. Oh, God, not again. Oh, oh --

J.R.: All right! Don't say I didn't warn you!

[J.R. kicks in the condo door.]

Julia: Ok, all right! I said I'm coming.

Brooke: Not soon enough, but then last week wouldn't have been soon enough.

Julia: What's wrong?

Brooke: Come here. Come here.

Sam: What's up, Aunt Jules?

Julia: Sam, are you --

Sam: Uh, no, that's about a 10, and this is a 2. Let's go for 2.

Julia: Are you out of your mind?

Sam: Ugh.

Jamie: See, and that would be the primal part of the brain. It helps. But seriously --

Amanda: This your new bed buddy, Jamie? No strings, no commitment, perfectly sane and boring?

Jamie: I'm serious. I don't make this stuff up. It's really in this book somewhere. No, it is, I promise.

Amanda: Oh, you jerk.

Kendall: Thank you so much for kicking in my door. Do I look like I want company?

J.R.: I need your help.

Kendall: Yeah? Well, I need a box of saltines and a gallon of ginger ale. Guess we're both SOL.

J.R.: Look, you're not the only one whose life sucks right now, and what about that best-friend thing we're supposed to have?

Kendall: Don't kid yourself, J.R., I'm your only friend, and right now you are on my only nerve.

J.R.: Look, will you get over yourself for a second and stop me from thinking that I'm falling in love with Babe again?

Babe: Oh, look, look, a sled! Every little kid should have a sled, right?

Krystal: Oh.

Babe: With a DVD player? Come on.

Krystal: Oh, oh -- fire truck, with a cranked-up siren, flashing lights. Make sure Little Adam turns it on right in his grandpa's ear.

Babe: Or a robot or a pony or Mommy and Daddy back together?

Krystal: Good idea -- the pony.

Babe: Mr. and Mrs. Adam Chandler, Jr. Lucky Little A.

Krystal: Didn't you hear me? No!

Babe: You hear that? Someone's singing, "Here comes the bride"!

Kendall: That baby-stealing, brother-doing, bad dye job is not on your love list, never will be. Next topic.

J.R.: Do I look like I'm having fun? Does it look like I like saying "Babe" and --

Kendall: Oh, God, not again!

J.R.: "Love" in the same sentence? She needed my help, she was in bed, and she passed that test I set up with her and Del.

Kendall: Oh, God, J.R., J.R., please look at me a minute. Please, just shut up a second. Look, I'm green. Are people supposed to be green? No. When they are, you let them die in peace.

J.R.: Will you just stop with the whole barf drama? You're not the first woman to get knocked up and toss every single day. I mean, you're just not that special.

Kendall: I'm not the first, and I'm not that special. Hmm. How about the first woman to say she's getting knocked up with her best friend and her ex-lover's baby, but it really turns out to be her baby? That's right, folks! Her egg the whole time, not an ounce of Greenlee in there. And how about the first woman not to tell her best friend about the whole egg switcheroo, which in turn makes her best friend turn into her worst enemy, and then she leaves town, leaving the poor child, the unborn child -- a boy, by the way -- completely motherless? Unless, of course, you count me, Miss "Never wants to have children, never will." So now my phone is ringing off the hook, I got people banging down my door, I got carrier pigeons flying in telling me, asking me, "what am I going to do about the baby now?" That special enough for you?

J.R.: Wow. You really got inseminated instead of using Greenlee's egg? That is so Chandler.

Kendall: It wasn't like that at all.

J.R.: All right, so back to my Babe-and-love issue --

Kendall: That -- it's a nonissue, ok? It is not even on the radar, it's not on the list. You cannot, you will not, you won't love Babe Carey, ever.

Babe: So I go straight to J.R., "Oh, J.R., I need to tell you Del Henry has dirt on you," which, of course, was total phony. It was something that J.R. and Del cooked up to get the drop on me, but I didn't fall for it, even though I pretended like I did. Where was I?

Krystal: "Oh, J.R."

Babe: Right. So I was like, "Oh, J.R., you see, I let Del think that I need the info as a weapon or payback, but really I just wanted to look out for you. And even if, like you said, you'll never fall for me, I'll never, ever hurt you again." You could practically see the little red hearts and that chubby angel shooting them with pink arrows.

Krystal: Well, I don't know whether to give you a high-five or lock you in the bathroom till you snap out of it.

Babe: Why aren't you happy for me? Mama, I'm just -- I'm reeling J.R. in, and when I'm done I'll have my son back.

Krystal: Oh, just like that, easy?

Babe: Look at you. You married Adam so you could be eyes for me in the Chandler Mansion.

Krystal: And get you more time with your son, and it's working. So why push it?

Babe: Same reason you married Adam. I'd do anything for my child.

Krystal: Married to a rotten dog without a heart to call his own? Isn't one of us in hell enough?

Adam: Yeah, Barry, yeah, draw it up. Yeah, that's right. "I, Adam Chandler, do hereby dump the harridan Krystal --" with a K -- "and give her the rock-bottom minimum the law will allow." No, today, before the merger goes through and I'm even richer. She's not going to get a cent of that coup. No, she will sign it, because the soon-to-be ex-Mrs.. Chandler is going to run screaming from this marriage before you can bill me for this call. Oh, I can and I will scare her to death. I fall in love with her, that's how.

Krystal: You want to wear what?

Babe: Candlelight white. It's perfectly acceptable for the previously married bride, and tons of flowers and a three-tiered carrot cake, because Little Adam loves carrot cake.

Krystal: If you want to marry the wrong guy, then do it the right way in Crow Hollow like Adam and I did so nobody can see your shame!

Babe: And how is J.R. supposed to believe that this is for real if I don't act like it? I am not going to get this close to blow it. He will love me, he will marry me, and I will divorce him and take my child.

Krystal: I hate to say this, Babe, but if you mess with J.R. on purpose, you might just deserve what you get. And if that doesn't scare you, then I don't know what will.

J.R.: So Greenlee says, "Kiss mine, later, much?"

Kendall: Well, she thinks I betrayed her and Ryan and everyone else. She's broken.

J.R.: And she's trying to break you back. Forget her.

Kendall: So much sympathy.

J.R.: I sympathize, I do, but I don't get it. Look, you have the baby, you love it, you raise it. What is the problem?

Kendall: Out of my house, now.

Sam: Ah.

Brooke: Things were really, you know, ok until about a couple of weeks ago. And I feel for Sam, I know, after everything he's been through, but now it's, you know, all-nighters, and I'm finding beer cans under the bed and his grades are going down the drain.

Julia: No, back up. I've lost too many people that I love, but I'm not going to -- I'm not going to lose Sam.

Brooke: Ok.

Sam: Oh, nice one, Auntie J.

Julia: You're still drunk?

Sam: Maybe a little. Do girls get hair on their knuckles, too?

[Julia sighs]

Julia: I'm not laughing.

Sam: I can see that. All right, so I haven't really been the model ward, nephew, or friend. But come on, I'm a teenager. It'll pass, and we will look back on this special time in my life and have a really good laugh.

Julia: No, this isn't about a phase or kicking back. This is about Jonathan Lavery.

Sam: Bloody Mary, anyone?

Brooke: Knock it off.

Sam: Oh, you're right, who needs the tomato juice?

Julia: No, you're not walking away. You and I are going to talk.

Sam: I don't need you, and I don't need anyone.

Jamie: No, I'm serious, if the mid brain works without the front brain, all you get is rage, lust, panic, gluttony.

Woman: Friday nights at the Beta House.

Jamie: Actually, that's right, it's total chaos, and no one can survive like that. It'll wear you out and beat you down. You have to use the front brain. Everything in moderation. A little lust never hurt anyone.

Amanda: Lust hurt you, Jamie. You still have to make everything about me.

Woman: We're talking science.

Amanda: I am so sorry if he called you by my name the other night. It's not you, it's him. Jamie, if I could make you forget me, I would, but you just need to let me go.

Jamie: Excuse us. Come here. What was that?

Amanda: Jamie, please, we don't have to do this here.

Jamie: Oh, yeah, we do. You didn't give me a choice. You just busted in my study group with all this weirdness.

Amanda: Let me go, Jamie. You have to let me go!

Jamie: Hey, I'm not touching you.

Amanda: You are in your heart. Your arms are around me so tight, but it's not real, Jamie.

Jamie: Amanda, people can hear you.

Amanda: You need to deal with your obsession before it kills you.

[Janet fondly pours over Amanda's scrapbook.]

Janet: Oh. Oh. Oh. Such an overachiever.

Babe: Here comes the bride all dressed in candlelight white.

[Knock on door]

Babe: Who is it?

Livia: Livia Cudahy.

Babe: Sorry, no habla lawsuit! Take it somewhere else!

Livia: Babe Carey, open this door!

Babe: Ugh! I am too happy for bad news.

Livia: Which you assume I have?

Babe: Well, you and Amanda Dillon’s father are old buds, so if she's here to sue me --

Livia: No Amanda. I'm here for you.

Babe: Well, if she's not suing me, I don't need a lawyer.

Livia: Hmm. Trust me, you need to know this.

Adam: Ah! There you are.

Krystal: Winnie said you summoned me.

Adam: Yes, yes, I wanted to see you.

Krystal: Well, you've seen me.

Adam: Krystal? Please, can I -- can I offer you an orange juice, maybe a mimosa, kind of a fruity girl drink?

Krystal: I've been poisoned enough lately, thank you very much.

Adam: Oh. Well, please, I -- I have some wonderful news to share, and J.R. is out.

Krystal: And since I'm a black-hearted blonde guy, you thought that I could sub in?

Adam: Yes, clever. Yes, yes, yes, charming. Why don't you just sort of be quiet and read this.

Krystal: "Frmnpred." Well, somebody can't spell. Go ahead and get them fired, make your day.

Adam: It's an abbreviation. It means "French mining preferred." Their stocks split in two, two-for-one, and skyrocketed. We netted approximately $326,000 and change.

Krystal: Wait a minute. Say -- say that again, slower?

Adam: It's about $163,000 apiece.

Krystal: Because the French prefer mining?

Adam: No, no, the sun rose, and we woke up richer than we went to bed.

Krystal: That is a lot to wrap your head around.

Adam: Yeah, well, try this -- a vacation home in Costa Rica? Maybe 16 tennis bracelets. And 3 -- approximately 348 ounces of gold.

Krystal: Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Makes it way easier to understand.

Adam: Mm-hmm. Or 163,000 single $1 bills, crisp and new, that you can roll around in stark-naked -- in the privacy of your room, of course.

Krystal: You sneaky son of a -- I get it. You are trying to buy me off for a measly 160 K. Well, let me tell you something -- I know exactly what I've got coming to me, and I am not going to settle for a dime less.

Adam: No.

Krystal: What? What, what, your face get stuck?

Adam: Don't you get it? Don't you feel the tingle, the thrill of the score? Hmm? Don't you?

Krystal: Well, I won a couple hundred bucks on a scratch-off once.

Adam: Yes, well, there, you've got it! Do you remember the thrill, the kick of that, the neuron-jolting zap of success?

Krystal: I bought groceries for a month. Babe and I were fat and happy.

Adam: Well, good! Yes, that's it exactly. We are fat and happy. I followed this stock for two years, researched, vetted, waited, pounced. I never backed off, I never gave way to fear. I mastered this stock, and now I'm getting my just rewards.

Krystal: When you put it that way, it almost sounds a little bit dirty.

Adam: Well, it should be if you're doing it right. A stock can be a thing of great beauty.

Krystal: Playing the ponies -- without the horse poop.

Adam: It's sex, Krystal -- passion, fulfillment, loss, despair.

Krystal: And, uh, you know a lot about that kind of thing?

Adam: Mm-hmm. This page is your initial connection. This is the foreplay.

Krystal: Oh, well, now, there is your first mistake.

Adam: Well, you drink in the page, and not for just a moment. You linger. First impressions are crucial, but you know you need to go deeper. So your eyes light on an item, a single word and a few numbers, the most fragile of relationships. But you know you need to go further. You can't stop. You can't just let go. You need to know. You need to know what she's really like.

Krystal: "She"?

Adam: Or he, your potential conquest. Is she unpredictable? Hmm? Tenuous? Excitable? Ignored, just waiting for her moment to come to life, to spring to life? It's like a dance. You'll move in closer, and then you back away. Until you decide, "I have to have her. She must be mine."

Krystal: You can tell all that just by looking?

Adam: Oh, yes. That and much, much, much more.

Brooke: Sam, I loved your father. I loved Edmund. And he was murdered, and it was a terrible loss that didn't make any sense. And as bad as I feel, I know that it's so much worse for you.

Julia: And now his killer is free. Jonathan Lavery woke up this morning, and Edmund didn't.

Sam: It's disgusting. He's out there with a life, and where's my father's life? That scum Jonathan Lavery took it, and no one made him pay.

Brooke: Sam, we miss him, too, and we're angry, too.

Julia: You're not alone.

Sam: Oh, so that's supposed to make it all better, right?

Brooke: Well, does the beer make it better? You know, I mean, cruising in my car, waiting to spin out, God forbid, hitting another car and killing yourself or killing somebody else?

Julia: Listen to me, Sam. I know what it feels like to miss someone so much, you wish you wouldn't even wake up in the morning.

Sam: Oh. No, no, I don't wish I was dead. My father was murdered. So let's all just hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" and not do a damn thing about it.

Brooke: Sam, if you have a solution, please tell me, because I just want to help. You know, maybe talking --

Sam: I don't want to talk about it, I want to do what I should've done before. And Jonathan Lavery is still alive, so it's not too late. I'm going to kill that bastard.

Simone: With Greenlee taking off and Kendall missing in action, someone has to be here to kind of pull this thing together.

Ethan: Well, come on, we can coast for a little while. I mean, look the profits on the Fusion line are up over 15% on last year's.

Simone: Actually, that would be 16.4%, and the last three weeks of the holiday rush, actually it counted for the burst in sales. It was 8.75% this year. Crunch time, people!

Danielle: Did you just make those numbers up?

Ethan: No, no, she's -- she's quite right.

Danielle: Did you scribble them on a crib sheet on your own or something?

Simone: 16.4% is actually easy to remember because I had four guys that wanted to kiss me on my Sweet 16. And the holiday number, sorry to say, was the amount that a very lame ex-boyfriend spent on me for a Christmas gift -- $8.75.

Danielle: Well, at least you have a boyfriend now who can help you remember a lot bigger numbers.

Simone: Ok, let's focus. Time is running out.

[Elevator opens]

[Danielle gasps]

Ethan: Ok.

Danielle: Time's up! They're here!

Simone: Oh, Kendall, help!

J.R.: Do you mind? It's chilly. I don't understand why you're so mad. All I did was say "raise the baby."

Kendall: This is my body, J.R., my choice! And if you so much as judge me, I swear to you --

J.R.: I won't judge you. Look at me!

Kendall: That was judging. "Have the baby, it's a no-brainer"? My God, if it was a no-brainer, there wouldn't be dents in my wall from me bashing my head into it.

J.R.: I love my son.

Kendall: Yes, your son. This was not supposed to be my baby.

J.R.: The only 100% decent thing I ever did was to be Little Adam’s father.

Kendall: Oh, ok, so that's the only way I can be decent is to have a kid? It's the only way to be human?

J.R.: I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about me. I didn't plan to have Little A, just like you didn't plan to have this kid with Ryan.

Kendall: I did plan this, but it wasn't supposed to be me. This was not supposed to be like this.

J.R.: Big deal. You have the child, you raise the child, you love it, happily ever after. You're not going to give up the child, you're not going to give it up like the way Erica did you. So have the baby and care for it. It's the best thing that you can do.

Kendall: You know, it's amazing you have all the answers, considering you're not really a father. You're more like an owner, master, and CEO. Chandlers don't have children, they have stocks and bonds -- something else to trash, trade, or own.

J.R.: I love my son. You know that.

Kendall: Yeah, just like you loved your daughter, Bess, except the second you found out she wasn't yours, you didn't give a damn about her anymore. You are just like your father, J.R., and Little Adam is going to end up just like you. God help you all.

J.R.: If we stop now, maybe one day we'll be able to stand in the same room.

Kendall: What, is this hitting too close to home? Is reality too painful? Ok, well, then try this. You're a sucker, J.R. You're pathetic! You got completely played by Babe, and then again by Di Henry. You wanted Di really to be your mother, so you wanted to make Babe really worth loving. But you know what, she's not, she's complete trash, and you're a complete moron if you want to fall for her again. But fine, go ahead. I could care less. Do it. Just don't come crawling and crying to me when she hurts you again.

J.R.: You will regret this.

Kendall: I regret knowing you. Now, get out.

Babe: No, no, no, my life is on an upswing. I am really in no mood for hassle. You just take it, and you shred it for your hamster cage. I'm not interested.

Livia: Yeah, of course I will. First, you read. Are you Arabella Carey Chandler? It's just a formality.

Babe: You are tough.

Livia: Yes, I am.

Babe: But so am I. You just try and blow by me, you see what happens. You know what, maybe, just maybe, I will get my own hamster.

Livia: Read.

Babe: Oh, it is the cutest little summons I've ever had. Is it the little runt of the litter?

Livia: It summarizes what's in the entire document.

Babe: Fine. Let's see who wants all the money that I don't have. Holy --

Livia: Yeah. And for your record, that was my reaction, as well.

Babe: Is it -- is this some kind of joke? Is someone setting me up?

Livia: The "who" is in the first line, and I can assure you that there's nobody laughing.

Babe: Holy --

Livia: Yeah, God's honest and gospel truth. You are in this up to your eyeballs.

Babe: No way.

[Music plays at Fusion's party]

Kendall: Hello, hello! Isn't this a great day or what?

Simone: Oh, party hearty! Look who's here!

[Cheers]

Kendall: Thank you, thank you so much for coming today, and thank you for making Fusion the best in the business. We would be nothing without you guys. Now, grab your drinks and get ready for our spring palette, because pretty soon you'll be thinking sunshine and tulips. And have fun. Enjoy.

Simone: Whoo! Ok, you can stop smiling now. People will be too drunk to notice soon.

Danielle: Can I get you something, anything, water?

Kendall: I'm fine.

Simone: The girl just lost her best friend, business partner, former mother of her child, then got dangled off a roof. Water is so not what she needs. What she needs is a psychic smudge.

Kendall: Never mind. Greenlee is gone, but we still have Fusion. And Fusion is -- we're going to be more focused, more successful, more driven. We're going to have more -- smoked salmon. Oh, God. Get that away from me, my God! Ew!

Ethan: You see the Fusion faithful at your service, Lord Cambias, too. You know, if you know need anything, we're all there for you.

Simone: We're all here. We'll do this together. You're not alone.

Kendall: I'm fine. I'm fine, ok? I have it all under control. Fusion has what it takes to be the best ever, and so do I.

Simone: Ok, she's fine.

Danielle: Perfect, all calm and glamorous.

Simone: We're not screwed.

Danielle: Not at all.

Ethan: Well, look, here's to a prosperous future for Fusion.

Simone: God help us.

Babe: My hand is cramping.

Livia: Aw, poor baby.

Babe: So this line here -- does it really mean --

Livia: Just sign, don't read. If you read, we'll be here till New Year's. Sign.

Babe: I'll have even more reason to par-tay.

Livia: Mm-hmm.

Babe: Hello. Paper jam?

Livia: Well, I'm sorry, I'm just not as jaded as I thought.

Babe: So would "insane" describe this whole thing?

Livia: No, insane would be reversible, and this is ironclad, lockdown, no-way-out.

[Knock on door]

Babe: Oh, no way! Come back later!

J.R.: Babe, it's me.

Babe: I am taking you smell fresh ink?

J.R.: Since when do you grin around your lawyer?

Livia: She never had reason to before.

Babe: Oh, but now I do, and that is a major understatement. Can I?

Livia: If you want to.

J.R.: Holy --

Babe: That's exactly what I said!

J.R.: Is this for real?

Livia: I don't bill $300 an hour for bad jokes.

J.R.: Who knows about this?

Babe: Just you, me, Livia, and the headboard over there, and, of course, the person who started it all.

J.R.: All right, this is my deadly serious face. Tell me that this is all for real and that no one else knows.

Babe: J.R., I have never been a tease. You can trust me on this one.

Amanda: You keep doing these things to keep me around, but never too close, be with me, but not committed. I got to you when no one was supposed to. You refused to ever be vulnerable or open again, but I am under your skin and it drives you crazy.

Jamie: Amanda, I need you to think back. Did I ever say that I loved you, that we would have more than just laughs?

Amanda: I am so sad for us. But most of all, I'm done. I cannot let you drag me in again.

Jamie: Listen to yourself. What you're saying -- it's not true. You've got it all twisted up in your head. You need help, Amanda. I'll get it for you, but you have to be honest with me. Tell me about what happened when you went to the Chandlers' for Thanksgiving. Did you poison the soup? Be honest with me, and I will get you the help you need, make sure you don't take things even further.

Amanda: You mean kill for you, Jamie? How do you know I haven't already? Have you seen your pet bunny lately -- on the kitchen stove, perhaps? Boo!

Jamie: Amanda, what the hell is going on?

Amanda: Oh, what's the matter, James, upset I didn't really go crazy with love for you? You're hot, but come on, I'm as sane as you are.

Jamie: Yeah, that's obvious.

Amanda: You're never going to pass your Psych test, and you can't tell a fake nut job from a real one. I'm not crazy, just really ticked off. Now is when I'd really be afraid.

[Janet adds a newspaper clipping to the “Jamie Scrapbook” entitled “James Martin Inherits Wallingford Millions.”]

Adam: I want this pear. I need this pear. But not yet, not quite now.

Krystal: You changed your mind?

Adam: Oh, no, no, not at all. But I know that this pear is worth $1 now. But later on it'll be worth much more, $1.50 at least.

Krystal: Something to be said for waiting.

Adam: Yeah. So I'll buy this pear now, so I'll have it later. I'll even pay more than it costs. I'll pay $1.10.

Krystal: Are you sure that's a good idea?

Adam: Oh, yes. Because I know that very soon, someone is going to have to pay me $1.50 for this pear.

Krystal: Almost doesn't seem fair.

Adam: No, fair has nothing to do with it. It's inevitable. Because I know what I want, and I know what she's worth.

[Adam and Krystal start kissing.]

Sam: I mean, how sick is that guy protecting his wacko brother? Jonathan killed my dad, I kill him for my dad. There's no other way.

Julia: Stop it, Sam, just -- just stop it! Ok, this isn't a video game. You shoot that man, you're going to feel that kick into your arms and your chest and your head and your legs, and when he bleeds, it'll be real blood, not like on the TV screen. And he'll die and everything will change. Ok, you're not a kid, Sam! Just give up this fantasy, let it go!

Sam: So Noah was worth avenging, but my father isn't? You went after The Dragon, and now he's dead. Well, it's my turn now, and you can't stop me.

Brooke: You're right, Sam, we can't.

Sam: Good! Good! So back off and forget we ever talked about it. I promise not to call you when I need to make bail.

Brooke: You've been through more than any young man your age should ever have to go through, and as much as I want to fix things for you, I can't.

Julia: I don't know if anyone can, but Maria may have the best chance.

Sam: Well, it's too bad she's not here.

Julia: Well, we'll miss you. But I think you need to go back and be with your mother and Maddie.

Sam: You would send me to California to protect that scum Lavery?

Julia: No, to protect you.

Sam: Fine. You do what you need to do, and so will I.

Brooke: Sam? Sam?

[Door slams as Sam runs off.]

Adam: No, no, no, I have to stop.

Krystal: Well, what, what, did I squish your pear? I thought I felt something.

Adam: No, no, it's -- it's just wrong, it's a mistake.

Krystal: Well, I can see why it's wrong for me, but why exactly is it wrong for you?

Adam: Because it means too much to me, damn it.

Krystal: Oh, I hate when that happens.

Adam: Please, don't -- don't mock me.

Krystal: Oh --

Adam: Please don't.

Krystal: No, I wouldn't dream of it, especially when you're making so much sense.

Adam: I can't make love to you!

Krystal: Just so you know, they have these little pills now for that.

Adam: No, no, no, I feel -- I feel it in my heart. This isn't Crow Hollow. We can't just drag you off to bed here and -- and to hell with the consequences. I cannot make love to you knowing it means something to me that it doesn't mean to you.

Krystal: Ok, wait, you lost me at Crow Hollow.

Adam: Forget all the sexual connotations! I mean, you need the truth. You deserve the truth, the complete and honest truth. I want to make our marriage real.

Kendall: It's great to see you.

Woman: Oh, you, too. I'll be back in just a sec. I have to tell you who was wearing your ice mocha lip-gloss at the American Music Awards.

Kendall and Simone: Oh.

Simone: Taylor wants to do a spread on you, Women-With-It-All piece. Huh?

Kendall: I do have it all, don't I? I forgot. It is -- it's pretty damn good to be me.

Simone: Good? Honey, it's fabulous. Oh, my God.

Kendall: What? Oh, crud. Did someone invite "jerk, plus one" to this event?

Danielle: No "jerk, plus one" on the invite list. I'll escort them out.

Kendall: No, no, no, I'll take care of it.

J.R.: Aw. Look who got her head out of the toilet.

Kendall: J.R., I already threw you out once today. Now, the press is here, and since I assume you don't want your face plastered all over the tabloids, you might want to leave now. Take that with you.

Babe: No, we can't leave just yet.

Kendall: Yes, you can.

Babe: Let me put it this way -- we won't.

Amanda: Crazy girl got a job. New Beginnings -- a real job in the real world for real money, power, control, respect. Soon everyone will realize that you're messing with the wrong person.

Jamie: Yeah, we already knew that.

Amanda: You don't get it, you never got me. I'm out of here. This place reeks of losers.

Jamie: Oh, I get you, Amanda, and I'll nail you.

Krystal: Oh, no. Oh, no, Adam Chandler and honesty is a recipe for disaster.

Adam: No, no, no, Krystal, no, no, please don't. Here, feel my heart. Feel my heart, it's pounding in my chest. That's for you. I want to make you my true wife. I want to make love to you. But I need you to need me, too. Do you feel my need?

Krystal: Back off, tiger, I am not ready to feel your need.

Adam: All right, fine, fine, just run! Go ahead, put distance between us. You don't want me, you abhor me, you want me out of your sight, but I love you! Do you hear me? I love you. And I won't give up until you feel for me what I feel for you -- a love as strong and powerful as any ever felt. Then -- then will I make you my true wife, and only then will I make love to you.

Krystal: Then take me now, Adam. Take me now!

Adam: Uh -- yes.

Kendall: Here, don't say I never gave you anything. I want the bimbo out of my office now.

J.R.: Oh, your office? See, I love that. I love that. If you're not rolling, start -- and send me a copy.

Ethan: You don't give the orders around here, J.R. The lady asked you to leave.

Kendall: Yes, asked, ordered, and wants it done now. Nice dye job. You don't want to lose it strand by strand, do you?

J.R.: Hmm. Play nice, Kendall. You don't want to embarrass yourself in front of all these people. Babe, don't you have something to say?

Babe: You know, maybe now isn't the time.

Kendall: Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure Hef wants you back at the Mansion, anyway.

Simone: Oh.

Babe: Hmm. If that's the way you want play. Guess what I got for Christmas.

Kendall: Let me guess -- saline or silicone?

Babe: Greenlee gave me all of her shares of Fusion. Smile, Kendall, I'm your new partner.

[J.R. giggles while everyone else just stands there stunned.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Krystal (to Adam): You'd better take me to bed right this minute before I downright explode.

Kendall (to Babe): I will destroy this company before I share it with garbage like you.

Sam (to his friends and Jonathan): You guys up for giving not-guilty his wish?

Ryan (to Julia): The sooner we leave this town the better.

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