AMC Transcript Monday 10/31/05

All My Children Transcript Monday 10/31/05

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Singer: One, two, three, six, seven, one, two, three, four, seven, eight, nine

Josh: Boo!

Babe: Oh, my -- God. Careful -- mister. If I break it, I get to buy it.

Josh: Well, I'd pay for a dozen broken glasses to get your attention.

Babe: You know, "Hi, how you doing" -- it usually works pretty well.

Josh: I tried that. I waved, I whistled, I even danced on the pool table.

Babe: You did not.

Josh: And nothing. Not a blink, not a smile. Is zombie your costume of choice?

Babe: Forget the undead. I was thinking more about murder.

Josh: Is it my head you want? For slamming on you about J.R. so hard?

Babe: That hardly rates the death sentence.

Josh: Then who's your target?

Amanda: I, Amanda Dillon, take Dr. Jamie "bling-bling" Martin to be my husband, for richer and richer forever and ever. You take me, Amanda Dillon, to be your lawfully wedded wife, even though you don't want to and don't have a clue that's why we're going on this trip.

[Key turns in lock]

Julia: I want you, Zach. That's something you'll never hear from your frigid excuse for a wife.

Zach: Don't.

Greenlee: What kind of sick joke is this? Who are you?

Jonathan: It's me, Greenlee. Really, it's Jon -- Jonathan.

Ryan: What's wrong?

Erin: Jonathan? Jonathan, let me out! Let me out of here right now!

Jonathan: Is -- is Ryan with you? Big -- big surprise, huh? You happy?

Ryan: Greenlee, who is it? Who is this?

Jonathan: It's me. It's Hockett. Can -- can we come home? Is everything k -- k-o -- ok?

Ryan: Everything's ok, Jonathan.

Greenlee: Oh, my God. It really is him. He's alive, and you knew it? He's alive? Jonathan's alive? Oh, my God.

Ryan: Yes. Hockett, where are you? Is Erin with you?

Erin: Jonathan, let me out!

Jonathan: She's in the cupboard.

Ryan: "Cupboard" -- in the closet? Jonathan, let her out of the closet and put her on the phone, please.

Jonathan: O -- ok, Ryan. Ok. Hold on, ok? Don't -- don't hang -- hang up, ok?

Ryan: I won't.

Greenlee: He's alive? Your brother's alive?

Ryan: I was just about to tell you.

Greenlee: How could he possibly have gotten out of that mine? How could he have escaped? I mean, you shot him. He blew it up. I mean, I saw. How could he have survived -- it was you, wasn't it? You went in, and you saved him, and you didn't tell anyone.

Ryan: No, no, no, I didn't save him, Greenlee. I didn't even know that he was alive.

Erin: Ryan? Is that you?

Ryan: Yeah, Erin. Are you all right?

Erin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm -- Jonathan was just playing a game. I'm really sorry he called. We just got home from the hospital, and he was really excited to talk to you.

Ryan: I can't do this now, Erin. I have to call you back.

Erin: But, Ryan --

[Phone beeps]

Greenlee: You faked Jonathan's death, you faked your own death. You chose that psycho over me and your friends?

Ryan: No, Greenlee, you got it all wrong.

Greenlee: You let me believe that you were dead. You let me grieve and scream and cry -- to protect your brother? You bastard!

[When Jamie unexpectedly comes home, Amanda removes her wedding dress and hides it under the sofa.]

Jamie: Nice shoes.

Amanda: They're new.

Jamie: So is there a reason you can't keep your clothes on?

Amanda: I must be allergic. Could be contagious.

Jamie: I bet there's a cure.

Amanda: Hmm, I don't want one. So, did you have too much fun at the library?

Jamie: I completely blew off Bioethics and I didn't even crack open Neurophysiology.

Amanda: Hmm, how about we focus on my old favorite, Anatomy -- the hands-on approach?

Jamie: Not now, Amanda.

Amanda: This about me or Di Henry?

Jamie: Hey, I can deal. She's a liar, end of story. Just move on.

Amanda: You took a hit, Jamie. You can't just act like nothing happened.

Jamie: Yeah, if I don't hit these books, I'm going to be back under cars.

Amanda: You're at the top of your class.

Jamie: And I plan to stay there. That's why I need to bail on our trip.

Amanda: But the reservations are made.

Jamie: I'm sorry, but I got to catch up.

Amanda: You can catch up there. Please, Jamie, I promise I won't bug you. You'll get everything done.

Jamie: Not if that's all you're going to wear.

Amanda: I'll wear flannel the whole time. Please, I promise. You're beat up, Jamie. You need a break.

Jamie: It sounds great, but it's going to have to wait.

Amanda: We both need this, Jamie. Please? I'll do anything.

Jamie: How about you put on some clothes, so I can concentrate. I've got a hot one-on-one with Bioethics, and then I'm off to bed.

Babe: Amanda will do anything to get Jamie.

Josh: What do you care? Are you still hung up on him?

Babe: I am not trying to get him back. I know we're over.

Josh: Then let Amanda ride him off into the sunset.

Babe: I can't.

Josh: Jamie is a big boy. He can handle himself.

Babe: He can when he isn't being yanked around by some fake stepmother back from the dead. What that phony Dixie pulled on him and J.R. -- he doesn't know which way is up. Nobody should be taking advantage of that. But you know Amanda -- she's playing for keeps, and she wants Jamie. And I even heard her talking to her mom on the phone -- all these wedding bells. She even bought the stupid rings.

Josh: Wow, she works fast. Think we'll be invited?

Babe: Can you please be serious? The worst part of it was, is I saw her buy something on the down-low from this guy, and I don't know what it was, but I'll bet you anything it has to do with hooking Jamie.

Josh: Did you say anything to the groom?

Babe: Please. Last time I caught Amanda using the bank card, and he told me to butt out of her business.

Josh: Then take his advice. If Jamie doesn't see Amanda for what she is, he deserves whatever he steps in.

Babe: That is really cold.

Josh: The guy treated you like garbage, Babe.

Babe: No, he broke up with me not because he caught us in bed. He did it because I didn't trust his choices.

Josh: Babe, you gave up everything for this guy, and he didn't see that. The guy just walked. No way does he deserve you looking out for him right now. Let him -- let him run off with Amanda. Let them live miserably ever after.

Babe: Amanda will ruin his life.

Josh: So what? Forget about Jamie. Someone else needs your attention, and pronto.

Babe: Who, the drunk superhero at table six?

Josh: A bartender. Her name is Babe, and you're the only one who can save her.

Julia: What is this? You playing hard-to-get?

Zach: I'm not playing anything. I'm not going to do this with you.

Julia: Oh, please, don't pretend that you're faithful to Kendall. She doesn't deserve your loyalty. In fact, she doesn't deserve you.

Zach: This isn't about Kendall and me.

Julia: No, it's not. It's about you and me -- about everything we've been through together, everything we've survived together. You protected me, you risked your life for me. You faced The Dragon and his men. You almost got killed for me. It's over. We're free. Let's be together.

Zach: Your car is waiting.

Julia: You promised me. You promised me you'd get me my life back. Give me my life back now, here, tonight.

Zach: I don't want you, Julia.

Julia: What, is there something wrong with me?

Zach: As a matter of fact, there is.

J.R.: What are you doing here?

Kendall: I'm sorry, J.R., I know it's late. I -- I just -- I didn't know where to go. I really needed someone. Will you be that someone?

Julia: Let's hear it. Why am I so unattractive?

Zach: You're a beautiful woman.

Julia: Is it my perfume? This dress -- you don't like the color? I can take it off.

Zach: Don't do that.

Julia: Is it Maria?

Zach: I've hurt Maria and her children, and I don't want to do any more damage.

Julia: Well, there was a problem. This will be our secret. Whatever happens in this room stays in this room. No damage, nothing but pleasure.

Zach: Isn't going to happen.

Julia: Zach, I don't get it. I'm not taking advantage of you. I want this. I need this.

Zach: You lived in the shadow for nine years. Your husband was killed, you wanted revenge. So you looked the killer in the eye and you shot him. That changes a person.

Julia: And so does travel and the right haircut.

Zach: I don't believe that. And I don't believe that you having sex with me or anybody else is going to make you feel better.

Ryan: I know it's a shock, Greenlee.

Greenlee: A shock? A shock was you showing up for your own memorial service, but this -- Jonathan alive, you playing dead to take care of him -- it's sick!

Ryan: No, that's not how it happened, all right? I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.

Greenlee: Oh, you had a better way? Jonathan knocking on the door?

Ryan: No, no, no police.

Greenlee: I'm going to call them. I have to tell them that he's alive so they can arrest him for, what, how many murders?

Ryan: Just let me explain.

Greenlee: No, thanks.

Ryan: I promised you the truth. That's what I'm going to give you.

Greenlee: What's next? Braden's alive, too? Was that rotting corpse in the mine a fake, huh?

Ryan: I swear to you, I thought he was dead. I thought he was dead.

Greenlee: No. You know, we really should stop with this surprise-a-day thing. It's really gone downhill.

Ryan: Greenlee, please hear me out.

Greenlee: Maybe I don't want to hear it.

Ryan: When I went over that cliff, I was convinced that I killed my brother, Greenlee. And then I found out Erin was alive. I tracked her down. The last thing I thought I'd find is Jonathan alive.

Greenlee: How the heck did he get to Canada?

Ryan: Erin found him. She went to the cave, she found him in the woods. She took him to Canada and nursed him back to health and kept him safe.

Greenlee: He will be safe -- planted behind bars for life. We all will be.

Ryan: He's not evil, Greenlee. Jonathan saved me. He made me realize that I wasn't wired to hurt people. He gave me hope. He made me realize I could come back to you. He made me realize that I was wrong for leaving you.

Greenlee: He killed his own brother. He killed Edmund, he killed our bodyguard, he almost killed you. So don't even try and tell me that he's capable of saving anyone.

Ryan: Greenlee, he's not the Jonathan you knew. Hand to God, he's the one who brought me back to life.

Amanda: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Just as I feared, a severe case of bored-asaurus-itis. Trick or treat, Dr. Martin.

Jamie: I won't be a doctor if I don't pass my midterms.

Amanda: Hey, hey, hey, not so fast. This could be fatal if I don't take immediate action. Darn, that's a big emergency. No time to put on my doctor panties.

Jamie: I don't think my insurance covers this.

Amanda: Oh, don't worry. This one is on the house.

[Amanda exhales to warm the stethoscope]

Jamie: So there's hope for me?

Amanda: Well, only because I'm willing to make a couch call. You know, you should take better care of yourself. All work and no play -- hmm -- could be very dangerous to your health.

Jamie: So what's the diagnosis, Doc? Am I going to live?

Amanda: Hmm, it's more serious than I thought. You have no heartbeat, total code blue. I'd better start compressions and mouth-to-mouth.

Babe: Ok, why am I wearing this mask? And what was with that announcement about us closing down for an in-house Halloween? You have no idea. My boss is going to freak.

Josh: He'll never know, and it was the truth. Happy Halloween. Party for two. I didn't have time to renovate, but there's plenty of treats -- if you like mints.

Babe: Well, I have to say that you do have taste, I'll give you that. But we really shouldn't be up here. He's renovating to expand the bar. He doesn't want anyone up here, so let's go.

Josh: No, no, wait, wait. Come here, come here, come here. Look, this place is the perfect place to start renovating you.

Babe: Oh? And what's wrong with me?

Josh: Way too much clutter in the attic.

Babe: Oh, gosh.

Josh: Jamie, J.R., Amanda, the whole Di thing. Your head is about to explode. You need to start concentrating on Babe.

Babe: Well, I appreciate the concern, but really I'm fine.

Josh: Mm-hmm. When's the last time you had fun? When's the last time you laughed?

Babe: Does this count?

Josh: Stop stalling. Answer the question.

Babe: It doesn't matter, really.

Josh: It does matter. You matter. What happened to the wild woman who struck the fear into those frat boys? I want her back. Don't let Jamie and J.R. drag you down.

Babe: Well, I appreciate the pep talk, but Little Adam keeps me from sinking, too.

Josh: And your little boy -- he needs his mom happy, at peace, not in pieces over jerks who aren't worth it. Give yourself a break, Babe. Let yourself live again. I want to help you any way I can.

Ryan: It was the brain tumor and the psych meds. I mean, if that doctor who prescribed them years ago had given him a PET scan, none of this would've happened.

Greenlee: But it did. Jonathan with brain surgery is still the same Jonathan who killed people, who ruined lives -- our life.

Ryan: He's not dangerous, Greenlee. He's totally changed. I mean, he's got a lot of rehab to do, and he's got a lot of things that he's got to relearn, but he's now gentle and he's very sweet. But most of all, he wants to make amends for everything that he's done.

Greenlee: How's he going to do that? Can he bring Edmund back to life? Can he take away Lily's nightmare? Can he give us back what we had?

Ryan: He's genuinely sorry. That's why he wants to come forward, and Livia is going to help.

Greenlee: You said she came to your hospital room to clear up your legal issues.

Ryan: And Jonathan's. I want to bring him back, Greenlee.

Greenlee: To Pine Valley? Are you out of your mind?

Ryan: He wants to turn himself in, but I have to help him do it the right way. Otherwise, if word gets out, there's going to be like a lynch mob with Jackson at the helm.

Greenlee: Oh, so I should just toss out roses and give him a big welcome-home kiss?

Ryan: Of course not.

Greenlee: If I forgive him, everyone else will forgive him, too?

Ryan: After what he's done and after what I've done, I'm sure forgiveness is not an option. But, look, this is on your terms, all right? You have to do what's right for you.

Greenlee: That's exactly what I intend to do.

Ryan: When I realized that Jonathan wasn't evil, that's when I realized that I wasn't, too. Now, I got a second chance. I just want to give him one, too.

[Knock on door]

Julia: I didn't put on this dress and come on to you, because I wanted a free psych session.

Zach: You don't know what you want. That's my point.

Julia: Ok, enough already. I know exactly what I want. I've wanted the same thing that I've wanted for nine years -- my life. I've fought for it, I've killed for it, and now I want to live it. I want to hear my heart race again. I want to feel skin against skin. I want to feel something, anything. I want to know what it feels like to be alive again.

Kendall: I mean, Julia? Julia, of all people? Do you know how many times I warned him about her? I told him time and time again that she's nothing but trouble. And then I walk in there, and he's stuck to her like flippin' Velcro. It was disgusting. I hate Zach, J.R., I hate him. I -- I don't hate him, I loathe him, and I can't even stand the sight of him. That's exactly why I married him. And now I wish to God I'd never married him. I wish I'd never met him.

J.R.: This is my fault. I didn't save you.

Kendall: Save me from what?

J.R.: Save you from falling in love with Slater.

Kendall: No, J.R., stop. No, see, that's just wrong.

J.R.: Look, it's ok, Kendall. You can admit it to me.

Kendall: No, it's not ok! It is absolutely, positively not ok at all! It is not good. This is bad, J.R. God, J.R., what am I going to do? I love my husband.

J.R.: It's not too late to fix it.

Zach: If I took you to bed, if I whispered the right words to you and made love to you all night, you think that would change things? You think that would make you feel alive, and you would wake up to the life that you really want? I didn't think so.

Julia: I don't understand. I don't know why I don't feel different. I got what I wanted. I'm in control, I -- I can go anywhere, I can do anything, I can be whatever I want. Why do I still feel caged up? Why do I still feel dead inside?

Zach: It takes time to come to term with things, I mean --

Julia: I don't have time. I've lost nine years. I don't want to lose any more.

Zach: You don't have a choice. I've been where you are, and I had to kill myself off -- new name, new city. After all that time, still trying to get back.

Julia: Are you ok with that?

Zach: I'm not going to give up. I'll find my way.

Julia: After all this time, do you want your old life back?

Zach: Ah, that's the last thing I want.

Julia: What do you want, Zach?

Kendall: That was very good. You are great. Very good effort, but, yeah, you always did rise to the occasion. But sex is not going to fix this.

J.R.: Come on, it's worked before.

Kendall: No -- no --

J.R.: Just follow my lead.

Kendall: Come on, no, J.R., stop, please. I'm pathetic. I mean, I marry a man I loathe so I don't fall in love, and here I am, flat on my butt in love. And of all people, Zach? The man has lied to me more times than I can count. He's betrayed me without a flinch. I mean, he doesn't even give me the time of day -- most of the time.

J.R.: There's your problem. That soft spot. You got to let that go if you're going to get rid of Slater.

Kendall: Well, I don't even know how it got there. I mean, when he's nice to me, he probably just wants something. He played me. I got completely played. I played myself. I might as well just go to Oak Haven, or I'll join a convent, I'll convert. That would be lovely.

J.R.: I'll tell you what -- why don't you stay the night here. You'd be more rational in the morning.

Kendall: No, no, not a good idea, J.R. I'm just going to make the same mistake over and over with man after man. That's what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I mean, I finally thought that I had it all figured out, and now I blow it all over again, even worse.

J.R.: You've never blown it with me, Kendall. Isn't that why you're here?

Kendall: No, J.R., this is about me. I need a way to protect myself.

J.R.: I'll give you a way to forget your problems.

Kendall: No, no, J.R., stop -- no, don't even try to have -- I'm not going to have sex with you, ok? Get it out of your head, please.

J.R.: Well, it's hard to. You're so close to me, smelling the way you smell, all crazy and wild. You know, this'll do us both a lot of good. And it'll definitely cure your Zach problem.

Kendall: No, there is no way I'm going to have sex with you or anybody else, especially now with the baby.

J.R.: Baby? What baby?

Greenlee: I wasn't expecting you.

Jack: What are you doing here?

Greenlee: I said he could come so we could talk about some things.

Ryan: And I deeply appreciate that.

Jack: Yeah, well, it's not a good idea. From now on, you communicate only through your lawyers, ok?

Ryan: Did I miss something?

Jack: Greenlee had me draw up the papers. She's filing for divorce.

Josh: You know what's so great about you?

Babe: My appletinis?

Josh: How far you're willing to go for people, even people who don't deserve it. Like when those guys stole Jamie’s car, most people would have let the cops take care of it.

Babe: Yeah, well, most people wouldn't have gamed their fiancé into dumping them, either.

Josh: You know how much courage that took?

Babe: Well, it was a lot easier because I had you there. I mean, you understood and --

Josh: Don't white-knight me. I wanted to hook with you for real.

Babe: But you were a total gentleman.

Josh: I haven't heard that for a while.

Babe: Hey, really, you could have totally taken advantage of the situation, and you didn't.

Josh: It wasn't easy. I like you. A lot. I hate seeing you like this. You're too young and too beautiful to be weighed down by people who don't deserve you.

Babe: Well, I -- I guess I'll put that on my list of references when I get fired from this job.

Josh: You have no idea how incredible you are. I want to show you how to laugh again, how to have fun.

Amanda: You're 100% cured.

Jamie: You sure? I swear you missed a spot.

Amanda: Well, I'll get to it right after you give me first aid. I think the doctor's come down with a severe case of rug burn.

Jamie: Well, I better check that out.

Amanda: Oh. Is it terminal?

Jamie: It's nothing I can't cure.

Jamie: What's that?

Amanda: I'm terminal, remember?

Jamie: No, you're nervous. What's under the couch, Amanda?

Amanda: The machine at the boarding house broke, so I thought I'd do my laundry here. I even brought my own quarters. I hope you don't mind.

Jamie: That's why you're so afraid? Dirty laundry?

Amanda: Well, I'm not exactly a domestic goddess. I figured stinky clothes ruin the mood. And our mood was so much fun.

Jamie: The mood's over. I got to cram.

Amanda: Ok, I'll go pack our stuff, and don't say you can't go. You have to. Jamie, please, I'll let you study as much as you want to, and when you're ready for a break, I'll be there to give you mouth-to-mouth.

Jamie: You, me, and a hotel room. That's pretty distracting.

Amanda: I will make you study. I will force you to study. I'll turn your pages. I'll take notes. I'll quiz you. Whatever you want. Was that a yes?

Jamie: One condition.

Amanda: Name it.

Jamie: You pack the stethoscope.

[Amanda laughs]

Babe: Whoa. I'm sorry, I -- I can't. I'm -- I'm not ready for anything like this.

Josh: Don't -- don't apologize.

Babe: What just happened -- I -- I'm just in a really weird place.

Josh: Weird places are my specialty. Look, until you're ready, we -- we laugh, we hang out, we have a good time.

Babe: And what happens if I'm never ready?

Josh: What if I never give up? When I want something or someone, I can be relentless.

Babe: You seem like the kind of guy that doesn't lose very often. You are such a player.

Josh: Guilty as charged. But you're one of a kind, Babe, and no way I'm going to let you slip away, no matter how many wild parties I have to throw. Mint? See?

Babe: Sure.

Josh: I told you I'd get you to laugh again.

J.R.: You're pregnant with Ryan's kid? Unbelievable.

Kendall: Ok, it's Ryan and Greenlee's kid. Totally different.

J.R.: I don't know how you could do it. I could never give up my own kid.

Kendall: Again, J.R., slowly -- it's not my kid. It's Ryan and Greenlee's. I'm just carrying it for them -- or for Greenlee, at least.

J.R.: All right, well, what's the ETA on big daddy hearing the good news?

Kendall: Greenlee's still so angry, maybe never. I mean, this made so much sense, and now that Ryan's back, God knows what's going to happen.

J.R.: So is there any chance of a happy ending?

Kendall: Greenlee's still so hurt and angry that Ryan faked his death.

J.R.: Well, I don't blame her. We'd all be a lot better if people stayed dead.

Kendall: No, but she loves him. She's being stubborn and selfish. I mean, she's got a baby to think about.

J.R.: Look, as much as you are a part of this, this is Greenlee's decision. There's not much you can do. You got enough crazy on your plate to think about, and it's not easy being pregnant -- from what I've heard.

Kendall: Yeah, well, hormones I can deal with. Water retention, bring it on. But this -- this thing with Zach, this is not good. I can't -- I can't do this. I have to stop this before I'm a total goner. I mean, what is wrong with me, J.R.? I hate him, I love him, but he doesn't love me back. This is not good. It's going to kill me.

J.R.: No, no, it's not.

Kendall: I mean, I really thought that I could depend on Zach, and I can count on him in a weird Zach sort of way.

J.R.: Forget him. You can count on me.

Kendall: Even when I turned you down?

J.R.: Look, I didn't kick you out. Look, you can sleep with me, you don't have to sleep with me. It doesn't matter. We're cool. And it helps me that you're here.

Kendall: By ranting like a complete lunatic?

J.R.: That's part of your charm. Look, I need a distraction.

Kendall: I'm sorry about what Dixie’s sister did to you.

J.R.: Yeah, well, at least I've got my son and one good friend, and that makes all the difference.

Kendall: Hmm.

Greenlee: Looks pretty standard, I guess.

Jack: Yes, you just sign at the red arrows. The papers will be filed and Ryan will be served.

Ryan: It's killing me, but I won't stop you, if that's what you want.

Greenlee: You keep leaving it up to me.

Ryan: I love you, and I want a future with you. But I will not take away your choices ever again. Whatever you decide, I'll accept.

Josh: So, you need a ride home?

Babe: Um, I think I got it covered. But thank you for coming by and making me laugh and being a good friend.

Josh: Hey, what about the renovation? The new you doesn't worry about Jamie.

Babe: I can't help it. I -- I keep thinking about that guy that Amanda was with. I know something's up, like some shady deal is going down.

Josh: Babe, let it go. Let Jamie handle Amanda.

Jamie: I got to take a shower and then hit the books. And then I'll go pack.

Amanda: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You will not regret this, I swear. We are going to have the best time, I promise. Yes!

[Amanda hums "Wedding March"]

[Shower runs]

Amanda: Something old, something new, something borrowed, something -- not blue. Hmm.

Jonathan: I'm ready to go to Pine Valley.

Erin: No, we have to wait until Ryan calls us back, ok? We can't go until he says it's ok.

Jonathan: I hope it's k-o -- ok.

Erin: So do I.

Jonathan: Ryan will make Greenlee understand and sh -- she'll forgive us, and we'll all be happy, all of us together. We'll be a big happy family.

Greenlee: Do you have a pen?

Jack: Sure.

Jack: You should probably find yourself a divorce lawyer, Ryan.

Ryan: I love you.

Jack: Look, I know this is tough, but you did the right thing. You absolutely did the right thing.

Julia: I know why you're not answering, because you don't know what you want. You slam me for going after all the wrong things. At least I'm going after something. You got nothing, except that skank wife of yours, and she's not worth the dirt on the bottom of your shoe.

Zach: Get out.

Julia: Yeah, I'm going. I think my luck's coming back. I'm going to hit the tables.

Zach: You do that, and I'll have security escort you off the premises. Don't embarrass yourself.

Julia: What is with you? One minute you're protecting me from myself, and the next minute you're siccing security on me? Was it something I did? Was it something that I said? Kendall? You don't like me insulting your wife? Don't tell me that you have feelings for her.

Zach: I'm tired of you.

Julia: Oh. You're a son of a --

Zach: That's exactly what I am.

J.R.: I'd offer you a drink, but you're pregnant.

Kendall: Right. What the hell happened here?

J.R.: An impulse malfunction.

Kendall: Hmm. Yeah, well, my life's been nothing but malfunction lately.

J.R.: And worrying is not good for the kid.

Kendall: Ok. I just got to believe that Greenlee will get it through her big fat head that she and Ryan love each other, and then this little baby will have a perfect life with Mommy and Daddy.

J.R.: And incubator Kendall can go back to her way of living.

Kendall: I prefer "surrogate."

J.R.: "Surrogate."

Kendall: Thank you.

J.R.: Ok.

Kendall: I mean, what kind of life am I going to have anyway, now that I'm stuck on Zach? I mean, I married him to spare myself this pain, but -- and now I'm going through it all over again. I don't want to go through this again, J.R. I would do anything to not feel this way. Oh, my God, I got it. I know how to save myself.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Jamie (to Babe): When is going to the beach big news?

Babe: Well, it is when you're going there so you can get hitched.

J.R. (to Zach): Your days of sole protector are over. Kendall doesn't need you anymore.

Zach: And you think you're up for the challenge?

David (to Di): I am pledging that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and in my life.

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