All My Children Transcript Thursday 10/20/05
Provided By Boo
Proofread by Gisele
Tad: I got to hand it to you. They're all here.
Di: I can't do this more than once.
Adam: Do you intend to stand there whispering in the doorway, or are you going to go come in and explain to me why all these people are in my house again? Hmm? Could this possibly be the first annual Dixie Cooney Fan Club meeting? Forget the buffet and the open bar.
J.R.: Would you back off, already? What's going on, Mom?
Di: "Mom." Ok. I can do this.
Opal: Sugar, we're all family here. We love you. Go ahead, tell us what you got to tell.
Di: I called you all here today, because you were the first ones who welcomed me back into your lives, into your hearts. And I wanted you all here together, because I know how much you love each other, even when you don't admit it. And you're all going to need each other when you hear what I'm going to say.
Krystal: Two seconds and you're too late. Are you sure this is the way?
Tad: I'm not sure of jack. I just know this has to happen.
Di: This is harder than I thought. I thought it'd be impossible. All the love you've given me? I don't deserve one bit of it.
Kendall: There is no way that I deserve this. My husband lies to my face and keeps the truth that Ryan has been alive this whole time? You want to duck the truth? Fine, I won't push you. We're not going to talk in circles and go "aha" when you slip up. But Ryan could be spilling the whole ugly truth to Greenlee as we speak, and you have to wonder if your name will come up. I have to wonder, will you answer me straight out, did you lie to me or not?
Ryan: I hate that I hurt you, but I'm afraid that it's not over yet.
Greenlee: But I'm in your arms. We're us again.
Ryan: There's just still so much that I have to say.
Greenlee: I changed my mind. I don't want you to tell me, not yet, not tonight.
Ryan: When I was gone, I didn't have amnesia. I didn't forget who I was or where I was from. I wasn't wounded or alone with no way to contact you to tell you that I was ok.
Greenlee: Well, you're my husband, and you're home. You came back to me.
Ryan: Because I love you with everything that's inside of me, but -- but I haven't always loved you the right way. You took me back. But you have to know –
Di: I lied.
Zach: I lied.
Ryan: I lied.
Greenlee: Tonight was amazing. You're here. That's not a lie.
Ryan: I am here, but you have to know everything, Greenlee -- what's changed, what's the same. Those pictures -- not really us, not in the end.
Greenlee: It was the "us" that mattered.
Ryan: It was the only truth that mattered to you, but I didn't believe it, not in my mind.
Greenlee: You were confused.
Ryan: I was angry, Greenlee. I had all this rage. I had all this fear that I would crush your beautiful face.
Greenlee: But you didn't.
Ryan: I wanted it to end. I wanted you to be safe from me, so -- so I got on my bike and I took off, and I went as far from you as I possibly could to keep you safe -- over a cliff and into the water.
Greenlee: But you survived. I thank God for that.
Ryan: I don't thank God. I don't. I didn't cheat death. Death cheated me, Greenlee. When I opened my eyes and I realized I was alive, I knew that you would never be safe in my life. And that's when I decided I had to lie.
Di: I never wanted to hurt any of you, never. This family is so precious, I mean, to me, to all of you, even though you can't admit it sometimes. I thought it was ok to keep quiet, because what this family could be was bigger than any lie. But now I have to tell you.
Kendall: I'm honored -- your first straight answer. You admit you lied.
Zach: You asked, and I answered.
Kendall: You lied and didn't care. Who, who gave you the right?
Zach: I found Ryan at the bottom of the cliff. He seemed surprised to be alive, didn't know what was going to come next.
Kendall: So, what, so he decided to play dead? No one gave him that idea? No one who faked his own death how many years before?
Zach: You know what? It wasn't my idea, but I supported it.
Kendall: Well, what about us, the people who loved him? Didn't you think about us or try to stop him?
Zach: That's all I thought about and what he could do with one punch if I wasn't there to stop him next time.
Kendall: So he swore you to secrecy? Was that why you did it?
Zach: I don't take orders from anybody.
Kendall: Oh, so then it was your own choice. You decided to keep this from us. How could you let Ryan do this?
Zach: He raised his hand to Greenlee and raised his hand to you, and out there, in the dark, on the rocks, he made the right choice. And so did I. I helped him stay dead.
Ryan: It felt like the right thing. It was this insane idea that just made perfect sense to me. I just kept seeing your face with -- up in that suite with my fist pulled backward. When I survived the fall, I made a choice. I chose not to come back to you.
Di: I wanted so badly for this -- for this to be the right thing to do, to have the lie be the answer, so I could stay with you, try to make you happy. Yeah, I filled the places in your hearts that have been empty for three years, to show you all love the way you did for me.
Jamie: You've done all that.
Joe: And more.
J.R.: She knows that. You know that.
Di: Did I? Will you hang on to that? Will you remember it the way I will?
Babe: You know how much they need you. You changed their lives.
Di: Oh -- oh, Lord. To have you all here, it -- but -- but it's true, no matter how much I wish it weren't. I'm not Dixie. I'm her half sister.
Adam: I knew it. I sniffed you out the day you walked in here -- Diana, Di, Dixie -- liar! You're no more Dixie than I am. You're a cheap gold-digging --
Di: Ok, I'm her sister, Adam.
Brooke: The DNA test.
Joe: If we had known about a sister --
Tad: Half sister.
Joe: It would have been taken into consideration for the test.
Brooke: Tad, did you know she was out there, Dixie’s half sister?
Tad: No one knew.
Adam: I knew she was a fake.
Krystal: Oh, good for you, Adam. Why don't you take that party outside?
Palmer: But you are Dixie. We -- we all know that.
Di: My name is Di. I wish it weren't.
Jamie: No. No, wherever this came from --
Brooke: We were wrong.
J.R.: You want to lie today about this? Why? Why are you doing this?
Di: Because I had to, because everything is changed.
Ryan: I was sure that I was bad for you, that I would never bring you joy and peace again. I couldn't let myself ruin the life that you deserve. So I had to go, forever. I had the answer.
Greenlee: It was an accident. I watched. I saw when you went over the -- I thought you were -- but you're here. We're together.
Ryan: I went over that cliff on purpose, Greenlee, to end it. I did it to save you.
Kendall: I heard it in my head over and over after Ryan died -- "Go off a cliff before I let myself hurt Greenlee." The look in Ryan's eyes when he said it, the idea that Greenlee could be in pain, all his fault --
Zach: So we agree -- Ryan had to go.
Kendall: And that feeling, so low and so alone. I felt that way. I felt that way the night I shot Ryan. I went into the water, and I didn't want to come out. And that feeling of despair makes you feel like you have no choice. He loved her. He wanted to save her. But you? You let me mourn.
Zach: I had no choice either.
Kendall: Why did you lie?
Zach: It's what I do. You know that.
Kendall: To me? Why did you lie to me?
Zach: To save you.
Di: I knew I would be safe here. I was -- I was running to stay alive. With you all, I have been -- I've been so happy. I fell in love with Dixie’s family, with all of you. I needed you. I needed to be a part of this family -- its craziness, its love. And the amazing part is, is you needed me, too. I mean, you needed a daughter and a mother, a niece. I wanted to be all of that, whatever you wanted me to be.
J.R.: You are my mother. We have the proof. You did this. This smells of you. How did you get to her?
Di: No, J.R., your father had nothing --
J.R.: How did you get to her? Did you blackmail her? Did you lie to her? Did you threaten her?
Adam: Son, she readily admits she's a liar and a fraud.
Krystal: And you couldn't be happier.
Adam: Oh, yes, the prison mate. Yeah, you knew her first. And here you are, with "baby doll," showing no signs of any reaction to this astounding revelation. I can only assume that means that you knew all along and didn't bother to tell me, the same as you did with my grandson.
Babe: And you think that this is all about you, Adam? What about your son and your grandson? What drives you crazy is that a complete stranger made them happier than you ever did.
Adam: One liar defending another.
Di: Adam, stop. They came to you a long time ago. They came to you with the truth, and it got Krystal out of prison and it landed me smack in the middle of a DNA test. I had genes on my side. I crossed my fingers and hoped I had enough Dixie in me to be called the real thing.
Joe: The options presented were Dixie or a complete stranger. With enough matching genes, a sibling could be considered a match.
Di: I have Dixie’s genes. I have Dixie’s blood. I'm her half sister, your aunt, J.R.
Del: Dixie, what are you -- half sister? My sister? What the hell is this?
Adam: I'd say you were behind this, luggo, if you had any more brains.
Del: Is this because of The Dragon's crew? They're done. They can't get you. You don't have to lie about who you are to stay safe.
Tad: You make this worse for anybody, I swear I'm going to throw you out.
Del: It's ok, Dixie. You're home now.
Di: Crow Hollow was my home first.
Adam: Yeah, I went there. No one had ever heard of you. Why?
Di: It was home for one day, the day I was born. One more mouth to feed, one more body to clothe, so they handed me off to an aunt, Louise Kirby, and she took me away and called me Di Kirby and raised me as her own. Until I met Del, she was all I had. I never knew -- I never knew what family was like. I never knew it could feel like this.
Kendall: This is what our marriage means to you? You can save me from a man that I loved more than I ever even liked you?
Zach: It's a good thing we never claim to be conventional -- you, me, or your ex-lover's baby.
Kendall: This isn't about the baby. This is about you and how you lied to me.
Zach: You know, you talk about what you saw in Ryan's eyes when he said that he would never hurt Greenlee. What about his eyes at the fight club? What about his eyes when he destroyed my suite?
Kendall: Greenlee had a plan. She was going to help him. She was going to show him and remind him who he was deep down.
Zach: Well, it wouldn't work, because once he was gone, all you could see was the good parts. He was a monster that had to be stopped. And those are his words, not mine. And I was glad he was gone, because I wasn't going to let him hurt you.
Di: So when I heard about Dixie, how much you all loved her, and she heard about me, I talked to her on the phone when she was in Europe, and the warmth and the love in her voice when she spoke about you all. You meant the world to her. Now I know why.
Jamie: Your name is Di Kirby. You're saying Dixie didn't make it? Dixie is dead?
Di: I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
Kendall: You watched Greenlee grieve. How'd it feel to watch her ache and know that you could take it all away?
Zach: And replace it with what, exactly?
Kendall: You let her suffer.
Zach: And she wasn't suffering before? When her husband believes his insane brother instead of his wife? And she wasn't suffering when she thought she could save his soul, she was the only one that could save him?
Kendall: That baby might have saved him.
Zach: "That baby." Can I ask you something? Do you think knowing my son has made me a better man? Ryan left because he didn't trust himself around Greenlee and her child, and I agree with him. He never had to be around her, that baby, or you.
Kendall: And now? What about the child that I'm carrying now?
Greenlee: Dead? You saved me by being --
Ryan: You see it? Because --
Greenlee: You went in the water, you came up, you climbed out, it was a miracle.
Ryan: It was a mistake. I should have died, Greenlee. I knew that I had to go, I had to stay away and not go back, no matter what, no matter how much I wanted to. I still have the rage inside of me, Greenlee. It was still chewing me up inside, and I knew that I had to save you from me, so -- so when I came out of the water, I had the answer. I would give you back your life by taking mine away.
Greenlee: You left me?
Ryan: Yes. And I hate -- I hated the pain that I caused you, but -- but I knew that the tears would stop. I knew that you would laugh again, and you would smile again in a way that you couldn't have if you'd stayed with me the way that I was. And I knew that you had a way through it -- the child that meant so much to you, the part of me that wasn't ruined yet.
Greenlee: Our baby was a way through it, but I didn't -- I lost --
Ryan: I know.
Greenlee: How could you already? Who told you?
Ryan: You, in Nova Scotia.
Greenlee: I don't --
Ryan: When you went to see my sister, when you went to see Erin, and you told her that you lost the baby, I heard everything. I was there. I was hiding.
Greenlee: And you didn't come out and let me know you were alive?
Jamie: Dixie's gone -- again. Still.
Brooke: It all makes sense.
Babe: Dear God, help them.
Jamie: Dad, this -- this whole story -- just -- please tell me this is all just a lie.
Tad: Not this time.
Joe: How much do you know, son?
Tad: Most of it. All of it.
Brooke: Were you investigating her?
Tad: No. Di told me in a letter that was meant for me in case her past caught up with her. It did.
Brooke: So this wasn't just some noble confession? You got caught, and you didn't have any choice except to come clean?
Di: I know. Nothing about me is noble. I know that.
Brooke: Oh, my God, the lies, one after the other?
Di: It started out as a lie, but it didn't end up that way. I fell in love. That wasn't play-acting. That was me learning to love for the first time, to love you. To love all of you. And, yeah, I wanted to do what only Dixie could do. I wanted to make peace between J.R. and Jamie. I wanted Little Adam to have another person who knew he hung the sun and the moon. I wanted to do that for all of us, and it was working. Every day I felt more like Dixie. I felt like I was doing what Dixie would have been doing. I wish I were Dixie. I wish -- oh.
[Opal walks up to Di and slaps her in the face.]
Kendall: In me, Ryan's baby, a tribute to Ryan's life, a way to give Greenlee hope.
Zach: So you both said.
Kendall: Zach, you had plenty of time to stop me, but you didn't. You let me mourn. You let me ache so much for Greenlee I'd do anything to make it better, even give her a child. I didn't have to make it better, Zach. You could have done it so easily.
Zach: Ryan wanted to go.
Kendall: Where was he? What, were you hiding him in the shed? Did you shove food under the door?
Zach: He was in Canada with his sister, Erin.
Kendall: Of course. That's why you freaked out when Greenlee said she went to see Erin. You were about to be exposed as a creep yet again.
Zach: Creep, not a creep -- that makes no difference to me. But Ryan back in Greenlee's life and your life after what he's done --
Kendall: I'm carrying Ryan's child. What about what you've done to me?
Greenlee: Is that why you came back? Because I'd lost the baby?
Ryan: After I heard you, I started to realize what I'd done. I came back, because you needed me. I couldn't let you stay in that limbo, not if I could help you -- help you out of it.
Greenlee: That night when I told you I was pregnant, you wanted to hit me. And then when you knew it was over, what did you do then? Cry? Cheer? Tell me.
Ryan: I still don't know if I could be a father, Greenlee. And honestly, I don't know how I feel about the baby you carried.
Greenlee: All that quiet time to think -- you don't know?
Ryan: I'm sorry.
Greenlee: Dr. Madden says I'll never carry a child to term. If only we'd known that before you flew off on your bike.
Ryan: Greenlee, just because I'm not sure how I feel, it doesn't -- I mean, I hate what you went through. I know what that baby meant --
Greenlee: Shut up about the baby. Don't you talk about that baby! You were supposed to be dead! Dead! You were supposed to be dead! You're supposed to be dead!
Ryan: I -- I know.
Greenlee: Don't you touch me! You hear me? Never again.
Ryan: But I didn't -- I didn't want you to --
Greenlee: What -- what, you didn't want me to hurt myself?
Ryan: There's more that I have to say to you, there's more that I have to tell you, Greenlee.
Greenlee: What else can you tell me, Ryan? Wasn't that enough?
Ryan: How I changed, why I came back, and I know that you may not want to hear it, and you may never forgive me, but I have to try.
Greenlee: Try. I dare you. Try.
Ryan: All right. Greenlee, you were right. You said that it wasn't in my genes, it wasn't my dad in all of us, and you were -- you were right. Something happened in Canada that changed me --
Greenlee: How can you do it? How can you do it? How can you tell me I was right when you ripped my soul to shreds? I cried for you, I ached for you, I screamed in my head to God for you. Why, because my word wasn't enough? My faith in us wasn't enough? It was where, off a cliff in the water, in Nova Scotia with your sister?
Ryan: Yes, that's exactly where I found --
Greenlee: I was here dying inside for you just like I died for Leo, and you knew I couldn't deal with that again. You promised me I wouldn't have to. You took my choice from me, again. Again!
Ryan: I had to keep you safe, Greenlee.
Greenlee: You rip my heart out, and you tell me it's for my own good? Who the hell do you think you are?
Palmer: See, Dixie was the sweetest soul on earth.
Opal: Now she's an angel in heaven.
Brooke: You couldn't go someplace else to hide from the crime boss? I mean, go to the cops, turn state's evidence? You had to come here and lure Tad and my son into your fantasy?
Opal: You gave Tad his life back again, and then you yanked it away just as fast.
Palmer: And you called me Uncle Palmer, you looked in my eyes, and you made us believe that our prayers had been answered.
Opal: Yeah, you'll regret that.
Brooke: I can blow this story sky-high, and don't think I won't.
Palmer: The pain, humiliation --
Opal: It's too good for you.
Brooke: You're a fraud.
Opal: You're a jezebeling bitch!
Palmer: A liar, liar.
J.R.: Stop! Stop. Just leave her alone. You can't talk to her that way.
Jamie: To whom, J.R.? Listen to her -- some aunt you never knew, you never needed to know? She doesn't deserve you. She doesn't deserve this family.
Opal: She played us for fools.
Jamie: She didn't come here after your wallet or a place to crash. She came here after a piece of your heart, a place that's reserved for Dixie and only Dixie.
J.R.: You don't know her. You know nothing about her.
Di: J.R., please, please --
J.R.: No, Mom. The necklace -- you knew about the star necklace. Ok? And Little Adam’s song you sang to him? You knew our song. And my mother's eyes -- I know those eyes.
Joe: She's family, J.R., but she and your mom are not the same.
J.R.: The one kidney, all those things you knew -- no, Del was right. You know, you're just stressed out. You just think there's too much danger here, but you're safe here. I want to tell you that you're safe here, because I'll take care of you. You're my mother --
Di: J.R., please stop. I can't say it again, hurt you again.
J.R.: Oh, come on, Mom. Tell them that you made it all up.
Di: Sweetheart --
Tad: J.R., son, you've got to listen to --
Adam: He's not your son.
Jamie: Come on, J.R., let's get out of here.
J.R.: No, shut up! Shut up! Shut up, all of you. I don't know you. I don't know any of you.
Tad: J.R. --
J.R.: Save it, whatever you have to say.
Tad: I wish I could. I wish to God I didn't have to say any of this. No one ever loved Dixie more than you and me. No one grieved harder when she died. When she came back, that woman in there -- we both thought our prayers had been answered, not because we were fools or suckers, but because we both desperately needed her.
J.R.: What did you do to her? Were you in on this with Adam? With Hayward? How did you get her to turn her back on me?
Tad: She wouldn't. Dixie could never do that. I'm sorry. That woman is not your mother. It was a lie, a beautiful lie. It kept us warm, it gave us hope, and it got you to open up to all the people you shut out in your life. And if it had gone on, if I had protected her, then maybe someday we would have gotten back to where we used to be, but I can't. I lied to you once before, and I lost you, and I swear I will never do it again.
J.R.: When do you not lie to me, Tad? Every sentence, every word -- right now you're lying to me.
Tad: I'm not lying. I can't, because I love you. I always have, and I always will, and I will always be here for you.
J.R.: You couldn't make it work, you couldn't make it work. She didn't want you. She came back for me. You chased -- she came back --
Tad: She didn't. She's dead. She's gone, son. I'm so sorry. So sorry for both of us.
Di: I was wrong.
Ryan: I am sorry, Greenlee. I was wrong.
Zach: I wasn't wrong.
Kendall: Oh, my God, the brass on you. Everyone is always wrong but you. I'm pregnant with Ryan's child, Zach. Now what? For Ryan, for Greenlee, for me, for this baby? You're the master of the universe, ruler of all that's in charge. You tell me, what now?
Zach: I don't know.
Kendall: Wait. Say it again.
Kendall: You don't know?
Zach: I told you not to do it.
Kendall: Well, Ryan's alive, and I'm pregnant. You didn't try hard enough.
Zach: I did try.
Kendall: What did you do, Zach? How did you try to stop me?
Zach: It was too late. So I opted to stand behind you the way you did when Greenlee was pregnant.
Kendall: That's because Greenlee is my friend, I love her. You want to pretend that you give a damn about me? There was a way to stop me, Zach -- the truth. Or do you lie so much the truth just gets choked in your throat?
Zach: I promised to protect you, and I meant that. So here we are -- another lie, another secret. What if I had told you that Ryan was alive? That he chose life alone instead of a life with Greenlee? What then? Maybe you would have believed me, told Greenlee. And after all the pain and the grief and the misery, she would have tried to find him, tried to chase him down. Whether alive or dead, the man she's looking for doesn't exist anymore. So, tell me about your plans for your dear, dear friend. A better life you're talking about, is it? Stuffing hopes and dreams and ideas into a child's head, Ryan's child, or is it trying to find a man who doesn't want to be found?
Kendall: This is how you protect me, how you stand by me? All the grief and the misery and the pain -- those were your gifts to me and Greenlee?
Zach: Grief and misery and pain -- that's nothing compared to what comes next.
Ryan: The way that you love, nobody loves stronger than that, Greenlee, nobody. I knew that if I stayed in your life that you would never let go, and you would be sucked down. Eventually, you'd be sucked down with me for the rest of your life, but if I died --
Greenlee: Left me a widow, again.
Ryan: But you would move on. I knew that you would find a light inside of you and find hope, you would find things that I couldn't give you the way that I was. And then I heard you at Erin’s. I heard -- I heard a Greenlee that I'd never heard before. You were broken with no way out, and I realized -- it took that for me to realize that you were in the pain that I was trying to save you from, so I knew I had to come back, to make it up to you any possible way I can, just to be with you, just, please, to be with you, if you would let me. And if you won't, to give you back your choices, to give you the truth. I'll let you decide what happens next.
Zach: I said I would protect you and stand by you. I meant that. Will you let me? Can I make it up to you?
Ryan: Greenlee, with all of my heart, can you let me try to make it up to you?
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Tad (to Adam): Back off. This is J.R.’s to end. However he wants it is the way it's going to be.
J.R. (to Di): You stole my mother's life, and then you killed her all over again while I watched.
Ryan (to Greenlee): You want me or you want me out of your life, I will respect whatever you decide.
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