AMC Transcript Monday 10/10/05

All My Children Transcript Monday 10/10/05

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[Techno music plays]

Simone: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Enjoy -- champagne for all. Thank you so much for coming. I enjoyed your article. Oh, my God, girl. Fusion's new line is taking off like a rocket. Look at this!

Danielle: Oh, buyers, beauty editors. I see happy, smiling faces.

Simone: Ah, spraying, spritzing, kvelling. Today, right now in stores all over the country, Fusion is taking the shelves and the shoppers by storm. Whoo!

Kendall: Girls. Is that our new fragrance or is it the sweet smell of success?

Simone: Hmm.

Kendall: You guys, you guys, check this out. This -- this rollout is sparking a ridiculous premium buzz. I mean, this is insane.

Danielle: We earned the raves. I mean, deadlines, marathon marketing sessions.

Kendall: Ok, Dani, I have to say you and Simone have done an amazing job, amazing.

Simone: Oh, please. It was fun -- in a high-pressure, maximum stress, sleep-deprived kind of way.

Danielle: Yeah, right.

Kendall: Look at us. You guys, look at us. We are the women of Fusion.

Simone: Yes, we are.

Kendall: That's right. Greenlee always said we are the little company that could kick cosmetics butt.

Simone: Yes, and this is our day to shine. So where's Greenlee? Why isn't she here to feel the love?

Greenlee: I'll never let go of Ryan, ever.

Erin: Greenlee, that's how you feel now.

Greenlee: I told you, that's how I'll always feel.

Erin: Time will pass. The pain will fade. You might wake up one morning alone on your side of the bed and realize that you need to love someone.

Greenlee: Never. That part of me is dead.

Erin: Greenlee, what if you could get a miracle? What if Ryan could come back to life?

Adam: J.R., how could you be so shortsighted, so downright stupid?

J.R.: I'm not the one who just announced it in front of Krystal. Why don't you just call her divorce lawyer? Or better yet, how about you give her the keys to the Chandler offices?

Adam: They would find out soon enough, thanks to your bad judgment! Actions have consequences.

J.R.: Oh, yeah, they sure do -- 90 proof consequences. I'm not the one who was liquored up and led down the aisle by his fly!

Adam: Oh, well, I would gladly accept drunkenness as an excuse, maybe as an alibi. Maybe a blow in the head would work. Do you have a particle of an idea what you have done?

J.R.: Yeah, Dad, I do. While you were busy slurring down vows with Krystal, I was getting our company back!

Adam: Fine. Be sure to say howdy to the lady that now owns half of the company I built from nothing -- Chandler Enterprises. Of all the idiotic, lame-brained things to do --

Krystal: Oh, would you shut up, you sorry excuse for a human being!

Adam: Stay out of this, Krystal.

Krystal: Look at your son. While you are pitching a fit over how the money pie is divvied up, J.R. may very well have lost his mother.

Di: Ok, we're wasting time already. What do we do when Garret walks through that door? How do we take him down?

Julia: I'll teach you what I know. But you have to promise me, when it comes time to kill the bastard you'll step away. I want the privilege of sending him straight to hell.

Di: Oh, no, you don't.

Tad: Mr. Williams. Good to see you again.

Garret: Mr. Martin, isn't it? You understand marriage has its privileges. One is kissing your new bride whenever the urge strikes.

Tad: Especially when she looks like that. No, as far as I recall, kissing your wife isn't a crime.

Zach: You beat that rap.

Mimi: Garret, baby, maybe this isn't a good time.

Garret: Oh, you're in a meeting. I'll wait outside.

Tad: No, no, no, don't leave on our account.

Garret: My business can wait.

Zach: Ours can't.

Mimi: Garret, you've met Tad. This is Zach Slater.

Garret: Mr. Slater I know by reputation.

Zach: You a gambling man, Mr. Williams?

Garret: All life's a gamble, Mr. Slater. It's all a matter of how you play the odds.

Zach: So how about tonight? Do you feel lucky?

Garret: Any reason I shouldn't?

Mimi: Garret, these two gentlemen have tagged you as the master criminal out to kill Julia Santos.

Julia: Hate Garret Williams all you want. He played you. He changed you into what he wanted and made you love him for it. Hate him for all of that. But he took my husband, and he took nine years of my life. He has to be stopped completely, by me. He has to see my face as he dies. I owe that to Noah.

Di: Ok, Julia, you've got me wrong. I don't want to be the one to kill Garret. I want us to spare his life.

Garret: I'd say pause for laughter, but you're serious. How do you expect me to respond to this?

Tad: Denial?

Garret: You're confronting my wife with some very serious charges against me.

Zach: Well, backed up by some very serious evidence. If I were you, I'd hear us out, tell us we're mistaken, and get back to kissing my wife.

Tad: You were seen talking to Dixie Cooney the day of your wedding. What were you talking about?

Garret: Sweetheart, this is your investigation and these are your friends. I don't know the rules. How am I supposed to handle this?

Mimi: They're no friends of mine. If I were you, I'd tell them to go to hell.

Krystal: Hit your son when he's down? Way to go, Attila Gorilla.

Adam: Why don't you hitch a hayride back to Hazzard County.

Krystal: Why don't you wipe the dollar signs from your eyes and take a look at real suffering.

Adam: Looking at you is suffering enough.

Krystal: Oh, Adam, don't be a fool. Your son is in a scary place. His mother disappeared. He needs propping up, not tearing down over some stupid company.

J.R.: Act like you care, Krystal. Yeah, you, the gold-digging tramp who's in it for everything she can't slip down her blouse. Why don't you blow out of here.

Adam: You heard him. Scram.

Krystal: There you are -- mean and meaner. What do you have to do, take some kind of Chandler oath -- "Death before compassion," never even show half a heart? Try to reach out to you and all you get is snakebit.

Adam: Why don't you reach out with something more than a calculator and an extortion plot?

Krystal: J.R.’s mama is in real trouble. She's fouled up with the wrong people. She might even be dead. Now, here I am, I'm trying to show just a little bit of human kindness. But then you'd have to be human to appreciate that.

J.R.: "Missing" is not "dead." My mother is not dead, and she's not going to die.

Stuart: Dixie's missing? Hey, that's -- that's awful. That's awful. You don't think she's --

J.R.: She's just missing, Uncle Stuart. That's all.

Stuart: J.R.? Could I talk to you, alone?

[Techno music plays]

Kendall: Ok, Dani, go circulate. Be charming, be dazzling. Go be Fusion.

Danielle: I can do that.

Kendall: Yes.

Simone: Ok, so why did you send out Dani?

Kendall: Because Greenlee is away at a spa somewhere, and no one but us needs to know that.

Simone: Oh. And Greenlee needed an herbal wrap the day of our big launch?

Kendall: She's -- she needs to de-stress, ok? She's been going gaga wondering if I'm pregnant with her and Ryan's baby, and if I'm not, how she's going to deal with her life.

Simone: Hmm. Have a little pressure with your hormones. How are you? You having any of those yucky, ucky, upchucky morning sickness feelings?

Kendall: No. So far I'm yucky-upchucky free. But it is still too early to take the test.

Simone: You know, I'm still in shock that you raised your hand to be Greenlee's surrogate.

Kendall: Yeah, you and my mother.

Simone: Yegods! Erica knows?

Kendall: Yeah, I'm pretty sure she was much happier when Greenlee and I were gay. It's a long story, and I'll tell you when I can drink again.

Simone: Ok, back up. How did Erica take the baby news?

Kendall: She was very calm -- I mean, too calm, like amazingly, suspiciously, "she has to be up to something" calm. So just be on the lookout because my mother could strike any time.

Simone: Ok, if I see her, I'll send up a flare.

Kendall: Ok, also, do not breathe a word to Jackson or Reggie. I mean, hell, if the whole family comes here, just press the down button and shove them back in the elevator.

Simone: Ok.

Kendall: All right. Now, there is someone who is welcome.

Simone: He looks like a corporate spy.

Kendall: No. It's Brandon Loder.

Simone: Hmm. Loder, right -- he's the "New York Herald's" new beauty editor.

Kendall: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I promised a reporter an interview for "Scent" magazine. Go schmooze him. Go and schmooze Loder right now. Give him the full charm treatment.

Simone: Oh, I don't know, he looks a little charm-resistant.

Kendall: Come on.

Simone: All right, I'll give it my best.

Kendall: Go. Note to Greenlee -- wish you were here. I really need you right now.

Greenlee: How can you even say that?

Erin: Greenlee? Greenlee, I'm so sorry. I take it back.

Greenlee: What if -- what if Ryan --

Erin: I -- I didn't mean it. I was just -- I wasn't thinking.

Greenlee: After the first two hours that Ryan was gone, there was a chance that he survived. "What if" kept going through my mind. Even after 24 hours, "what if" didn't seem impossible. He could've survived the crash, the freezing currents, the water. He -- then "what if" started to mean something else. What if he didn't survive? What if he doesn't come back? "What if" dragged me down to the darkest place ever. Then I had to accept it -- Ryan is dead. If by some miracle of God he had survived, he would have come back to me. Anything else would've betrayed everything that we meant to each other. I'd be devastated. Ryan would never leave me like that if he were alive, if he had a choice. So for you to throw "what if" in my face --

Erin: Greenlee, Greenlee -- please, please wait. Don't leave like this.

Greenlee: You really should see someone about that mean streak, Erin.

Erin: Please, I was -- I was just thinking out loud.

Greenlee: Did you inherit your father's sick sense of humor like Jonathan did? That twisted, sadistic SOB?

Erin: Please don't talk about my brother like that.

Greenlee: Why? What's going to happen to me?

Erin: Please, let's not do this, Greenlee. I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear.

Greenlee: My friend back home warned me. She said you might want to hurt me, because your brothers are gone. She said that you could be just like Jonathan. I guess she was right.

Erin: You came here uninvited. I apologize for making a thoughtless remark. But that doesn't mean that you get to rip on Jonathan. He wasn't well when he did all of those horrible things, ok?

Greenlee: He was psychotic. He was vicious and sadistic and evil. If he hadn't been all those things, Ryan wouldn't have had to kill him, and I wouldn't have lost my husband.

Julia: I lost my husband because of Garret. He has threatened us both in his sick, subtle, twisted way. But you say if we get a chance to take him out, to -- to back off, to let him live?

Di: If we can knock him out or get him under control to save ourselves, yes.

Julia: That was some brainwashing he put you through. After all these years, after all the death that he has ordered --

Di: Ugh.

Julia: You're still his pet, protecting her master? Do you still have a thing for him?

Di: Julia, don't be stupid. Come on, there's nothing to love about Garret. He's -- he's evil. I mean, he's covered in blood. He deserves to die. But you shouldn't be his executioner.

Julia: We're his prisoners. He came this close to killing me.

Di: Julia, you know, how many times, how many -- how many ways have you said that you want your life back? You kill Garret, your life is never going to be the same. It'll -- it'll change in ways you can't even imagine. You're not going to be the Julia you want to be. Yeah, Garret -- Garret will be gone, but you will still be in his control. You can see Garret brought to justice, be punished. But just don't -- don't destroy your soul to do it.

Garret: Is this your evidence?

Tad: Part of it. The girl -- that's Dixie. Different colored hair, a different name. You knew her as Di Kirby. The gentleman standing next to her used to be named Kevin Sturgess. Now Dixie’s missing and Mr. Sturgess is dead. Seems to me that anybody that tangles with the head of this organization enjoys a high mortality rate.

Zach: Where's Julia Santos?

Garret: Sweetheart, you told me Pine Valley was a friendly town. I'm feeling some distinctly unfriendly vibes. Maybe you and I should pack up our things and move back to New York.

Mimi: I'm right there with you.

Garret: Now, sweetheart, you're in charge here. You can ask me whatever questions you need to. Fire away.

Mimi: No questions. I know the man I married.

Tad: Ok, so I guess we're on the wrong track.

Zach: Why'd you talk me into this?

Tad: Shut up.

Zach: I'm sorry for wasting your time. What's wrong with you, man?

Tad: Just leave. Don't talk.

[Tad and Zach take their leave.]

Tad: If he's going to New York, I say we tail him the whole way.

Zach: Because criminals never look in the rearview mirror, right?

Tad: You got a better idea?

Zach: Yeah. We wait for him to walk out of here, and we'll beat it out of him.

Tad: With what?

Garret: My business in New York is almost wrapped up.

Mimi: What brought you back here?

Garret: Well, I missed my wife.

Mimi: Hold me for a minute, ok?

Garret: I can't stay long. I got to get back to Manhattan.

Mimi: Well, a minute is better than nothing, and I'm sorry they had to dump all over it.

Garret: Don't be too hard on them. I mean, if you came up missing, I'd be all sorts of desperate. I mean, I'd be out there turning over every rock and trying to connect every crazy dot to find you and bring you home safe to me. That's all that's about. Forget it.

Mimi: I love you, you know that?

Garret: I love you, too.

Mimi: And as soon as I finish and I wind up this investigation, I am right back there with you.

Tad: Ok, let's go. What the hell are you doing?

Officer: What's your hurry, boys?

Tad: What is this?

Zach: What are you arresting us for?

Tad: Hey, hey, hey, take it off.

Zach: Wait -- Mimi -- what are you arresting us for?

Officer: My mistake. I'll have you free in a jiffy, as soon as I find the key.

Greenlee: Erin, I'm sorry. I've got to go.

Erin: Greenlee? I hope you can find some peace.

[After Greenlee leaves, Erin reenters her cottage.]

Erin: She's gone.

[Car starts, drives off]

Erin: You all right? Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I -- I don't know what made me say that.

Ryan: It's all right, Erin. Do you think she meant what she said when she said she's done with love, or do you think she's -- it's just too soon and she can't let her heart go there?

Erin: I don't know, Ryan. All I do know is that -- God, her pain is deep. And it's real, as real as you are.

Ryan: Oh, my God. What have I done?

J.R.: Look, now is not a good time, Uncle Stuart.

Stuart: But it's important.

J.R.: I understand that. We'll catch up later. Right now I got some things I got to clean up.

Stuart: Adam? Can I talk to you a minute?

Adam: Not now, Stuart, please.

Stuart: But I think I have a dilemma.

Adam: Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait. It's time Barry Shire earned his damned retainer.

Krystal: Is there anything I can do to help, Stuart?

Stuart: Oh, no, no, I don't think -- I don't think so, Krystal. Thank you anyway. And -- and welcome back to the family.

Adam: Yeah, put Barry on the line.

Krystal: You are the ugliest, most hateful man I have ever known.

[Techno music plays]

Simone: We are thrilled that you could join us for our launch, Mr. Loder.

Mr. Loder: The response to your new line -- it seems enthusiastic.

Simone: Yes, it does.

Mr. Loder: But I'm afraid I'm harder to please. Let's test your powers of persuasion.

Simone: Well, I'm sure we can win you over. Is there a special lady in your life?

Mr. Loder: There might be.

Danielle: Now, this is my personal fave -- the eau de toilette roll-on and lip gloss duet. It is fabulous.

Simone: Shimmering body lotion. Have you ever felt anything so soft?

Mr. Loder: An invitation I wouldn't mind exploring further.

Simone: Well, then I'm sure you'll appreciate the subtle essence of the eau de toilette spray.

Mr. Loder: Subtle, yes, but seductive.

Simone: And the star of our lineup is our fragrance/lip gloss duet.

Mr. Loder: So much product, so many people. If you'd give me a private demonstration back at my hotel, I can guarantee a rave review -- for Fusion, too.

Simone: Mr. Loder --

Danielle: How would you like to be slapped with a sexual harassment suit?

Mr. Loder: I beg your pardon, young lady. I often conduct business in my hotel.

Danielle: Oh, you're up to all kinds of sleazy business.

Mr. Loder: You've clearly misunderstood.

Simone: No. The come-on, the looks -- Dani picked up on it and so did I. You're a slimeball, Mr. Loder.

Kendall: What's going on?

Danielle: I'm sorry, Kendall.

Simone: Sleaze-o here, who never met a breath mint, promised a rave for Fusion if I play a little slap-and-tickle in his hotel room.

Mr. Loder: These charming young women have completely misconstrued --

Kendall: I doubt it. They're smart and savvy, and I believe them.

Mr. Loder: You'll regret this.

Kendall: Oh, no, I won't. Our product is amazing, it's fantastic. We don't have to hand out party favors to push it. Now, I suggest when you write your review, you keep it fair and honest. One whiff of a smear campaign, and I will go right to the paper's editor. Now, good-bye, Mr. Loder.

Danielle: Goodbye. I'm sorry, Kendall. I didn't mean to mess this up. I wouldn't blame you, but please don't fire me.

Kendall: Fire you? What, for busting that creep? Hell, I'll give you a raise.

Danielle: But what if I was off-track, seeing Garret in every man that I meet?

Simone: Oh, Dani, don't do this, ok? You were right about Garret Williams, and you were right about this jerk.

Di: I know what I'm talking about, Julia. You get a new life the wrong way, you're going to wind up hurting yourself and the people you love. You know, I moved into Dixie’s like I had a right to it. I traded on everyone's love for my half sister, I piled lie on top of lie. And whatever trust I didn't kill, it's going to be shredded by the time this is over. You know, any hope of a family or a future, I killed. However this turns out, the people that I care about are going to be damaged. You know, don't do the same mistake I did, Julia. Don't -- don't give your life at the expense of someone else's. Let the cops deal with Garret.

Julia: You know this man better than most. I can't believe that you can be this naive.

Di: No, I'm not being naive about Garret.

Julia: He is a predator, a player, a killer. Are you really ready to trust him to the system? The system that ground Noah and me into a pulp? That didn't catch on to Garret for nine years and still doesn't have a clue about him? This will never be over for you or for me until he's dead!

Di: But we -- we can testify against him in court. He will finally be put away, Julia.

Julia: Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'll happen. His high-priced suits will charm the jury right out of the box. His magic, his connections -- he's untouchable. So if we do let him live and he takes the stand, what do you think will be the first thing that your old pal will do when he gets up there? He will announce to everyone that you're not Dixie.

Di: I know. I know. But that's the way it has to be.

Ryan: I mean, obviously, I knew that she would grieve, that she would have horrible days and horrible nights. But the point was for her to move on and get better, like she did after Leo when she fell in love with me.

Erin: She's not ready, Ryan.

Ryan: You heard her, Erin. She's never going to be ready. How did I miss that? How the hell did I miss that? How did I not see that? I mean, my God, I died to give her a life.

Erin: How close were you to showing yourself?

Ryan: You have no idea, Erin. You have no idea how hard I wanted just -- I just wanted to come out, I just wanted to hold her, but it would have hit her like a fist, and she would never have gotten up. I really don't understand. Because Greenlee has always been so strong, and she's never -- she's never let anything keep her down. Till this. I defeated her. At least when she had the child, she had something to hold on to, and now she's lost that, too.

Erin: How do you feel about that?

Ryan: I don't know. I don't. I mean, I think part of me feels like it was meant to happen, that it was probably better this way, but I think part of me -- I mean, I know how much Greenlee wanted that more than anything else in the world. And I would never want that to happen. Erin, I don't know.

[Techno music plays]

Kendall: Come on, Dani, you got rid of that creep.

Simone: Loder was way off the sleaze-o-meter.

Danielle: But he has major press creds.

Kendall: Yeah, well, thanks to you, he won't be pressing his creds where they're not wanted.

Simone: Hallelujah.

Danielle: Well, Simone could have handled it. I didn't have to jump in like that.

Simone: We women of Fusion stick together.

Kendall: Right. J.R.!

Simone: Oh.

Kendall: Ah, just what this party needs, another sassy little bad boy.

Simone: Yeah, well, Dani and I are going to cruise and schmooze.

J.R.: Tell me it's not true, Kendall. Tell me you're not working against me.

Kendall: Listen to me. I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I just put out one fire. Now, if I have to put out another, I will drown you in Fusion's new fragrance, and no one will hear you scream.

J.R.: What is this, payback? Do you hate me that much that you'd actually work with Babe and Krystal to screw me into the ground?

Tad: Ok, deputy dawg, come on, fun time's over.

Officer: Just practicing our technique, boys. It's all in the wrist.

Zach: Well, practice now. Come on, let's go.

Officer: Always the last place you look.

Tad: What do you do for your next trick, Houdini? Does this mean the engagement's over? You don't happen to have a helicopter on top of the building, too, do you?

Zach: If he was telling the truth, and he's on his way to New York, do you think that's where Dixie and Julia are? Or do you think they're already dead? Come on.

Garret: Where's the other one?

Di: She's in the bedroom. We had a fight.

Garret: You lied to me. There wasn't any letter.

Di: That can't be.

Garret: I went to the boathouse. No letter. No one made the drop.

Di: Garret, you heard me on the phone. The person holding that letter was --

Garret: Do you have any idea how deeply you cut me? I had your loyalty all these years, and now you turn on me? You were one of the best. But you lied to me. You lied to me, sent me on a fool's errand. Look closely, Di. Do I look like a fool to you? Have you ever known me to be anybody's fool?

Krystal: You want to know what's wrong with your family, Adam? You.

Adam: Fascinating.

Krystal: You are the cold, dark heart --

Adam: Oh --

Krystal: Of this funhouse. Bad karma, evil mojo -- whatever you want to call the misery that has infected this place -- it's all coming straight from you.

Adam: All right, fine. I'll call Barry, you call an exorcist. No, better yet, go call a cab.

Krystal: Stuart -- Stuart asked for one drop of your precious time. And J.R. -- J.R. is all torn up over his mother.

Adam: Did I miss the part where you and Dixie became best friends?

Krystal: I'm not a fan, ok? But her funeral is not at the top of my wish list. But you -- huh -- you could give a damn, one way or the other, live or die, because all you care about is your business and your bank account. Well, this side of marriage has just gotten a sack full of ammo. Yeah, I've got half of your precious company, and I am going to use my five-oh to stick it to you every which way I can. So you just remember that. Remember that the next time you give your brother the brush-off, or the next time you yell at J.R. when he is worried sick about his mother's life. I never thought it'd be possible, but you make David look like Father of the Year.

Garret: Did you think your lie would buy you more time? Time for what? Escape? You, Julia -- you're still my guests. And you knew I'd be back. And not --

Julia: No! Oh!

Di: Oh! Garret --

[Garret turns around just in time to stop Julia from hitting him over the head, disarms her, and knocks her down, then draws his gun on Di.]

Garret: Of all the people to betray me, I never once dreamed it would be you. My beautiful Di.

Di: No.

Garret: I'm so sorry.

Ryan: It's like it's -- it's tearing me up inside thinking about how much Greenlee wanted that baby. How -- how alone she must feel, how empty.

Erin: I think she meant it, Ryan. The only man she's ever going to love again is you.

Ryan: No, no, no, don't say that. Don't say that. God, if I truly believed that, I would have to go home.

Woman: You always were a nice girl, Monica.

Greenlee: Oh.

Woman: Is it time for my program?

Greenlee: I don't know. Maybe someone here can help us.

Nurse: May I help you?

Greenlee: Please, this nice lady stepped off the curb and almost walked straight into my car. I noticed she had a hospital bracelet on.

Nurse: Oh. Mrs. Bennett, fourth floor. Poor dear, she's an Alzheimer's patient.

Greenlee: Yes, she didn't seem to know where she was.

Nurse: I don't know how she got past security, but her family will be grateful you brought her back unharmed.

Woman: You're not Monica.

Greenlee: No, I'm not.

Woman: You're the sweetest thing in the world, my dear.

Greenlee: I'm not. I'm -- I'm really not.

Nurse: I'll take her back to her room. Would you mind waiting? I want to get your name and phone number so her family can thank you.

[As Greenlee sits down in the hallway, she sees Jonathan in a wheelchair.]

Tad: That was a total wash. It's perfectly obvious that Garret's got Mimi totally snowed.

Zach: You mean the way that Dixie has you snowed, or --

Tad: Why don't you shut up about Dixie for five minutes. What is it? Why do you have to do that? And it's not like, you know, love's ever got you going before, unless you want me to go into Maria territory. No, I didn't think so.

Zach: So what do we have?

Tad: Wait, wait, what is this "we" stuff? I don't remember inviting you to follow me home.

Zach: Hey, I thought we're a team. Worked out well together. Funny cop, bad cop --

Tad: What part of "total wash" don't you understand?

Zach: Why can't you let me talk? Maybe I can get some of that PI brilliance going.

Tad: Hey, you know what? You want to sit around and trade jokes, why don't we wait until Dixie and Julia are home and safe?

Zach: Perfect. So let's go find them. Garret, of course, is long gone, but you know what I think? His wife might know more than we give her credit for.

Tad: No, wrong. Not a chance. I've known Mimi for years.

Zach: Oh.

Tad: No, there's not a chance she's involved in something this sick. Her father was a cop. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to run a computer check on all the properties Garret owns in New York.

Zach: Yeah, see, that's what I'm talking about. It's brilliant! And it's good, yeah. Of course he's in real estate. Probably got hundreds of buildings.

Tad: Hey, why don't you make a pile of all your better ideas and leave them on the pool table.

Stuart: Tad? Uh -- could I talk to you a minute in -- in private?

Tad: Not now, Stuart, I'm busy.

Stuart: Yes! Now.

[Techno music plays]

J.R.: Oh, no, no, no, you're not going to blow me off to sell your makeup.

Kendall: Ok, listen, you have a conspiracy theory? Then lay it on me before I lay something on you.

J.R.: Chandler Enterprises -- it dropped in my lap. It couldn't have been perfect timing. It was timed by a stopwatch. The only thing is Babe and Krystal don't know how to tell time!

Kendall: Shut up a second and listen to me. What in the hell are you talking about? I worked with Bianca for months to put this wonderful thing back in your hands. I mean, you were completely grateful. You were orgasmic. Now what? It's me? Listen, whatever your problem is, you have no right to barge into my party and disrupt my guests. Now, get out before I throw you out.

J.R.: Kendall, wait, please. Help me. I think my mother might be dead.

Di: Please -- please don't kill me.

Garret: I've never killed anyone in my life. Why should I start now? I've got one package for pickup. And bring the good doctor with you. I've got to retrieve some information from one of my other guests. I'm afraid you're not going to like the good doctor very much. He has ways of getting you to open up about that unfortunate letter. What's the matter?

Di: I'm thirsty.

Garret: Thirst is the least of your problems.

Di: Please, Garret -- please, can I have a glass of water? Please? Hmm?

Garret: I could never deny you anything. I'll get it.

Garret: Ow! Ah!

[As Garret turns on the faucet, sparks fly through the kitchen. As he clutches his hurt hand, Garret drops the gun to the floor. As Di goes for the gun, Garret grabs her and flings her on to the sofa. Meanwhile, Julia wakes up and dives for the gun. As she and Garret wrestle for the weapon, a shot is fired.

>> On the next "All My Children" --

J.R. (to Jamie): You've satisfied the terms of Aunt Phoebe's will. You and Babe want to hook back up, there's nothing I can do to stop you.

Nurse: Who are you looking for?

Greenlee: Jonathan Lavery. What is he doing here?

Ryan: If I go back, it would hurt her as bad as me staying dead.

Erin: So go back to her and just don't tell her the rest.

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