AMC Transcript Thursday 9/22/05

All My Children Transcript Thursday 9/22/05


Provided By Suzanne
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Adam: We're what? We're -- we're married? You are still drunk.

Krystal: Oh, quit your bellowing, you demented horse's ass! I'm trying to concentrate here! Is there any water in here? My head is just pounding.

Adam: Yeah, sure, it's in the minibar next to the moonshine. Why on earth would we be married?

Krystal: Oh, God, I cannot believe I agreed to this.

Adam: It's lies, it's all lies.

Krystal: Damn you, Adam Chandler! It's bad enough you take advantage of me, you get me in bed. Why the hell did you have to go and marry me?

[Investigating a noise in the other room, Tad pulls a gun on Amanda who's hiding under a desk.]

[Amanda screams]

Mimi: Just -- you know what? Just -- just call me with anything new, ok? Thanks.

Zach: Hi. I hear congratulations are in order. You going to honeymoon anywhere special?

Mimi: Enough of the games, Slater. I'm not in the mood. This bride wants to know one thing -- where is Julia Santos?

Julia: Oh, my God. Del.

Del: Julia Santos. Long time. What are you doing in Dixie’s room?

Julia: Where'd you come from? How -- how did you get in here?

Del: Is Dixie ok?

Julia: Dixie knows I'm here.

Del: You've been having a pretty rough go of it lately, huh?

Julia: Something like that, yeah.

Del: You ok?

Julia: Yeah, I'm fine. No one else knows I'm here, right?

Del: Oh, yeah, yeah, I got it.

Julia: Dixie's out helping me get my life back.

Di: I got your flowers -- and the little dragon.

Garret: So you got my message. Why are you still here?

Di: I need to ask a favor, for old times' sake. Let Julia Santos go.

Garret: I was wondering when you'd come back to me. It's nice to see you can still trust me after all this time. I missed you, Di.

[Still dressed in his groom's outfit, Garret kisses Di.]

Tad: Amanda, what the hell are you doing breaking into my office?

Amanda: I didn't know where else to go. I came here looking for Aidan and I -- I didn't want to wait outside.

Tad: Don't want to wait -- how did you get in?

Amanda: Easy lock.

Tad: Well, that's reassuring.

Amanda: I got scared when I heard your footsteps.

Tad: Yeah, God forbid I should be the cops.

Amanda: Or those people that killed the girl behind SOS. I was so freaked out and I hid under there.

Tad: I understand. Relax, it's just little old me.

Amanda: Yeah, this time. I mean, what if the people that killed Aidan’s source want to come after me?

Tad: Sweetheart, I don't think that's going to happen. If you want to talk to Aidan, you can write him a note, and I'll make sure he gets it. In the meantime, I'm sure you'll be ok at Myrtle's.

Amanda: Will you take me?

Tad: I -- I can't. I got a lot of work to do. Oh, Amanda, come on.

Amanda: I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be in the way this time. I just -- I can't get it out of my head -- the horrible blouse she had on, and her eyes wide open like that.

Tad: Sweetheart, you're under a lot of stress. You need to get some rest.

Amanda: You know, nobody seems to understand that I am completely freaked out here. I saw a dead body, for crying out loud. I'd never seen one before!

Tad: Stick around for a while. It may not be your last.

Garret: Almost as beautiful as you were at 17.

Di: I'll take that as a compliment.

Garret: You still shine, Di.

Di: Well, if so, I -- I owe it to you. You taught me how to get everything I wanted.

Garret: I only helped you see what was already there. Beautiful young girls need a mentor -- someone to teach them, someone to protect them.

Di: And you taught me so many things.

Garret: You were a brilliant student.

Di: Then I got too old for you, didn't I, Garret? Once a girl becomes a woman, you show them the door. That's why you passed me off to Kevin.

Garret: Well, there are so many beautiful young girls who need my attention.

Danielle: Reggie, why are you still here?

Reggie: Because I want to help.

Danielle: Help who? The cheap slut who slept with Josh? The girl who made you wait only to screw you over in the end?

Reggie: Dani, drop the act, ok? You don't have to play that with me.

Danielle: Oh. So you want to help the cruel daughter who ruined her mom's wedding. The one who hasn't learned her lesson, hasn't grown up, still trouble.

Reggie: You had to tell your mom what happened sooner or later.

Danielle: I didn't have to do a thing. I got all up in my mom's business. I said some terrible things about her fiancé, and who did it help? Not me. Not my mother. I'm not your girlfriend anymore, Reggie. You've made that perfectly clear, so you really don't need to be here.

Reggie: You know, Dani, I'm trying to talk to you. My friend -- you know, is she somewhere in there? All right, look, I am so sorry that you had to go through all that sick crap with Garret, and I'm especially sorry that you had to do it by yourself. It had to be rough.

Danielle: Spare me the pity party. You weren't invited.

Reggie: Dani, I believe you. I knew something was off about that guy, but -- but even if I didn't, your word -- your word is enough to me.

Danielle: Why? Why do you believe me? My words meant nothing since that shack on the beach.

Reggie: Because I know you. And I know you wouldn't bust up your mom's wedding just because.

Danielle: How can you be so sure? I didn't even know if I was imagining it myself. Maybe I'm just going crazy.

Reggie: Dani, this isn't spending too much money on a pair of shoes. You know deep inside you what really happened.

Danielle: How can you think it's real when my mother even -- she doesn't?

Reggie: Because I love you, and I never stopped.

Zach: How's your task force doing?

Mimi: Well, thank you, even though people like you are doing their best to interfere.

Zach: Doing my best to help.

Mimi: Yeah, well, we're moving right along.

Zach: Any closer to finding the big guy or no?

Mimi: Right now we're worried about Julia. Don't you think that she's been playing with death long enough?

Zach: Well, some might argue that she's already known death from her nine years in captivity.

Mimi: Yeah, well, she'd better turn herself in before she loses the roll of the dice, and she ends up on a slab in the morgue.

Zach: Why don't you let me worry about the odds. "Turn herself in" -- you make her sound like a criminal, and the only crime she's committed was trying to help you. Now, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job. You know how to do your job. You're a captain. Somebody made you captain. That's awesome. But don't you think it'd make more sense to go after the guy at the top?

Mimi: Oh, we will, but Julia might have some information that we need. Now, if she doesn't want to talk, she's only hurting herself, because I won't stop until I find her.

Julia: How -- how did you get in here, anyway? With a key?

Del: Well, there's people that don't believe Dixie even now. I heard something, I got worried.

Julia: Well, here's your something -- Dixie told me to stay hidden here until she got back.

Del: Any idea when she'll be home?

Julia: You're not cool with this, are you?

Del: No, no, if Dixie said she'll help you, she will. You can trust her.

Julia: Yeah, I'm hoping so. How about you, Del? After all this time, can I trust you?

Del: So just what exactly is she doing to help you?

Di: You helped so many girls in New York. You taking time off?

Garret: You could say that. You know I've never been one to stay tied down for very long.

Di: Mm-hmm. So I shouldn't offer congratulations on the wedding?

Garret: Not at all. I plan on making Mimi Reed a very happy woman.

Di: And very rich.

Garret: And very rich.

Di: Does Mimi need you, too? I bet you picked out her wedding dress, didn't you?

Garret: This relationship is different.

Di: Yeah, no one can get to you now. You married the head of the task force that's looking for you. What better way to stay one step ahead of the Feds?

Garret: Two or three, actually.

Di: Brilliant as ever.

Garret: Well, I do have my way of working things out.

Di: Which all goes to show how safe you are. Let Julia Santos live. She can't hurt you. She has no idea who you are.

Garret: Julia Santos Keefer is going to be joining her husband, and it's all her fault.

Adam: This is some stupid backwoods joke.

Krystal: Well, I'm not laughing.

Adam: Part of that inane moonshine contest.

Krystal: My head is no joke, either. Do you have any aspirin?

Adam: Don't take all of them.

Krystal: Huh. Marrying you does not call for suicide yet. Here, take a couple of these. It'll clear your head.

Adam: My head doesn't need clearing.

Krystal: Oh, yeah? Well, mine does, because I'm starting to have memories of you on both knees begging me to marry you.

Adam: Oh, never. I’d go back to Mary Smythe first.

Krystal: Where you going?

Adam: Home, where there's no plaid flannel, and they drink scotch like civilized people.

Krystal: No, no, no, no, no. No, we are not going anywhere until we get this whole thing straightened out.

Adam: There's nothing to straighten out. It's a -- it's a prank wedding certificate printed up in a dive barroom.

Krystal: I seem to remember a bit more than that.

Adam: It's a couple of drunken fools who did something very stupid last night. It won't happen again.

Krystal: Yeah, I'm also dredging up images of you begging and pleading for another couple of rounds --

Adam: Keep the images to yourself, please.

Krystal: Saying it was the best sex of your life!

Adam: Well, like I said, poster moment for alcohol poisoning. Good-bye.

Krystal: Oh, pfft.

Adam: Oh, jeez --

man: Congratulations.

Willie: Hey, hey!

Woman: How y'all doing?

Willie: Hey, you two lovebirds. How's the wedding night? You look a little tuckered out, but the lady looks like a tiger. Hey, we brought you a present.

Krystal: Oh, oh, couldn't you have burned that?

Willie: Well, not your wedding photo. We even went down to the -- to the dime store and got the frame extra-special, being that you some fancy city folks and all.

Adam: Doesn't prove anything except we drank our weight.

Krystal: Yeah, we're not very photogenic, either. Is that drool?

Willie: Well, we're all ready.

Krystal: Ready for what?

Willie: The trip. Don't you remember? After you two got hitched. And what a beautiful ceremony it was, too. We even got through it without anybody getting sick, which is pretty amazing, considering all that moonshine and everything.

Krystal: Yeah, sounds like every girl's dream.

Adam: Yeah, out with the rest of it.

Willie: Well, Daddy Warbucks here promised everybody in the bar a trip to New York City in his private aer-o-plane and a big wedding reception in Central Park.

Krystal: Huh.

Adam: I'm living in a nightmarish country song.

[Krystal sighs]

Krystal: Well, don't you worry, Adam. I'm not planning on standing by my man. So this is legit?

Willie: Yeah, as real as it gets. I'm the ordained minister who hitched you.

Adam: Just -- who in the hell are you, anyway?

Willie: I am the Reverend Willie Wurmwood, and I have been marrying people in these parts for years. It's my favorite job. It beats getting bats out of people's attics, 'cause they come at you like banshees.

Adam: I think I'm going to be sick.

Willie: No, no, that's just the moonshine talking. All you need's a little tomato juice, an artichoke, soy sauce, two raw eggs --

Adam: Oh --

Willie: And a salted prune -- clean you right out good as new.

Krystal: Wait, let -- let's just stick to the matter at hand, ok? Now, is this document legal?

Willie: Oh, it's legal as an eagle.

Adam: No, this is a setup. You took advantage of that diesel fuel we were drinking last night to get your revenge.

Willie: Oh, now, hold on, mister. Now, if there was any coercion done last night, it was done by you.

Krystal: Please. As if I wanted this any more than you did?

Willie: Yeah, you may have been drunker than old boy Johnny's bar fight grandma, but you made your position quite clear with the little lady after you won the drinking contest.

Krystal: And, you know, I was pretty sure I could drink him under the table, too.

Willie: Yeah, well --

Adam: Lies, it's all lies.

Willie: Well, you don't believe me, you're welcome to watch the videotape.

Mimi: So if you don't have anything constructive to say, why don't you get out of here so I can enjoy the rest of my wedding day?

Zach: You know why I'm here. I'm trying to keep you informed. I'm on the trail of the guy who's after Julia.

Mimi: Thanks for the memo. I'll pass it on.

Zach: Pass on to whom? The rest of your colleagues who don't know what the hell they're doing?

Mimi: Oh, I'm crushed. Why don't I have my supervisor call you for a review.

Zach: I'm going to find her, faster and without hurting her.

Mimi: You have done nothing but obstruct me from the first day I found you at Wildwind.

Zach: You call it obstructing, I call it saving a woman's life.

Mimi: Ok, then let me be absolutely clear. You get in my way, you interfere with my investigation, you so much as make a rolling stop past a stop sign, and I will be there so fast to put you in jail, and I will make sure you have a rotten time in there.

Zach: I don't want that. That's not going to happen because my focus has shifted east, far east.

Mimi: Well, have a nice time. We'll miss you.

Zach: What you're missing is a link to Kevin Sturgess. So why don't you save my men some time and tell me --

Mimi: You self-righteous son of a -- we have been trying to get Kevin Sturgess extradited for months.

Zach: Months, huh? Wheels of justice -- they just keep rolling along, don't they?

Mimi: Yeah. So if you send some of your goons over there to pressure him, they've wasted some very expensive plane fare.

Zach: Don't worry about my bank accounts. What happened to him? Is he somewhere else? Hiding somewhere else? What?

Mimi: The police in Thailand found Kevin Sturgess dead this morning.

Del: So you don't know if she's meeting with somebody, or what?

Julia: Not a clue. She told me she'd take care of things. You don't have to worry. She's a very resourceful woman.

Del: Yeah, she always has been.

Julia: Yeah, and don't worry. I'm out of here, as soon as she comes back with whatever information she has for me.

Del: I'm not worried about Dixie.

Di: You and I both have lives now. Why don't we leave Julia in peace and live them?

Garret: You've spent some time away since we last saw each other. Very classy not to rat out Kevin.

Di: Well, I knew what the alternatives were -- all worse than a year in prison.

Garret: Hmm. Classy and smart, always were. Mimi told me about Dixie’s return from the dead.

Di: That has nothing to do with you.

Garret: Well, imagine my surprise when I found out who she really was. So tell me, how did Di Kirby become Dixie Cooney Martin, complete with blond hair, new family, and an ex-husband?

Di: She's my half sister. I needed a life, hers was conveniently available.

Garret: Hmm. Very clever.

Di: I learned from the best. I swear, Julia Santos can't hurt you. She doesn't know who you are, you protect yourself too well. Kevin and I are the only ones who can hurt you. You've let Kevin live, you've let me live. Why can't you let Julia live, too?

Tad: Come on, you really -- you got to go home.

Amanda: You hate me, don't you -- because of Dixie. My mother killed Dixie’s brother. No one will ever forget that.

Tad: You're not your mother.

Amanda: You know, I didn't get it until I saw that girl lying in the alley, how -- how real, how horrible it is what my mom did, seeing her eyes open like that with that -- that smudge on her chin. Does everyone just see me as this crazy murderer's daughter?

Tad: Hardly. Speaking personally, I don't think of you that way at all.

Amanda: You don't hate me?

Tad: No, and I don't think you're crazy. But you're driving me nuts. Now, I really have to do some work.

Amanda: So if Jamie decided to get serious about me, you wouldn't trash me because of my mom?

Adam: Did you say "videotape"?

Willie: If that videotape ain't real, my name ain't Willie Wurmwood. We tape every moonshine Friday night. In fact, Bobby Joe Albright edits 'em together at the end of the year for a hoot of a Christmas reel.

Krystal: Oh, God, I'd sure hate to sample the eggnog at that one.

Willie: Well, you're welcome to view the videotape if you want to, and you'll see just how much coercion this little lady took.

Adam: I don't believe there was a lady involved.

Krystal: Oh, like you are some kind of gentleman.

Willie: Well, I tell you, you're one determined coon dog, I tell you that. So, when do we go to New York City?

Adam: My lawyers will be in touch.

Man: Oh!

Willie: Didn't I tell you folks? If you're gonna listen at the door, you gotta use a Styrofoam cup.

Adam: Yeah, my lawyer will want that videotape, so thank you, and good-bye.

Willie: Hey, hey, hey, miss, you're -- you're welcome to come back anytime, but you can leave that sour apple at home!

Krystal: Well, well, well. Tie me up and call me Suzie.

Adam: I did not.

Krystal: That's an expression, you old coon dog.

Adam: Oh. I am an idiot.

Krystal: Yes, you are. But you're my idiot.

Del: So you must be hungry. Why don't I get us both something to eat.

Julia: I am. Thanks. Um -- no one can know I'm here, right?

Del: Yeah, of course. Trust me, I want whatever Dixie wants. I owe my sister a lot.

Julia: So do I.

Del: If she's promised to help you, you've got me as part of the bargain. I just -- I want to help out.

Julia: Thank you. You know, you don't seem like the same liar I dated way back when.

Del: Oh, no worries. That Del’s long gone. I'll be back up in a bit with some sandwiches, and don't worry. If Dixie says she'll help, she will.

Zach: Somebody else just died, and you're spending all your time looking for an innocent woman?

Mimi: You have no idea what my task force is up to.

Zach: Julia's not the problem here and you know that.

Mimi: We almost had Kevin Sturgess.

Zach: And now you have his dead body.

Mimi: We had the pressure ready to put on him. He would've spilled who he worked for.

Zach: Yeah, but you couldn't keep him alive, could you?

Mimi: We did it quietly, unlike you and your friend Tad who poke your noses in places with all the subtlety and finesse of two bulls in a cattle pen.

Zach: Tad's no friend of mine.

Mimi: Well, Tad went to see Sturgess, and he wasn't very private about it.

Zach: What happened?

Mimi: My people in Thailand were watching and listening. So if the big guy thought that Sturgess was ratting him out, it was then. So why don't you and Tad and every other novice crime fighter in this town just butt out, so I can do my business?

Zach: Find him, or I will.

[Phone rings]

Mimi: Captain Reed. Finally! I'll be right there.

Danielle: Don't do this, Reggie, not now, please.

Reggie: Dani, listen, I love you, ok? That hasn't changed.

Danielle: I can't handle you telling me this. I can't handle any of this.

Reggie: Dani, listen, we -- we can talk about us later. But you shouldn't have to go through this by yourself. You have friends.

Danielle: How are my friends going to help? I've lost my mom to this slimy perv.

Reggie: Your mom will figure this out.

Danielle: Not now. I've blown any chance we had of making things right. I actually thought we could've had a real relationship.

Reggie: You and your mother will work things out, and she will eventually see what kind of guy he is.

Danielle: On top of that, no one really knows what a creep this guy is but me -- and Josh. I mean, the whole world thinks Garret is some big-shot nice guy. I'm not crazy, I'm not stupid, I didn't make this up. There's something about Garret, something underneath that nice exterior. Something so smooth yet creepy, you wouldn't even know you were trapped until it was too late.

Garret: I can't help you with Julia Santos.

Di: Please. You used to be kind and -- and generous. Go back there, be that man again. And this woman has done nothing to hurt you. Garret, she doesn't even know who you are.

Garret: She's made one mistake too many.

Di: All it would take is you put the word out on the street that she's not to be touched.

Garret: Why does this woman mean so much to you?

Di: Because she's been in a living hell for nearly a decade, all for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because she means something to the people I care about.

Garret: These people that you care about -- your family? You -- you care that much about them? Do they know you're here?

Di: No, of course not. No one does. I have a family. I'm finally happy. If Julia died, I -- I couldn't live with myself. She doesn't have anything, and I know what it's like to wander, all empty, just looking for a life, looking for anything. You've taken away her husband. Haven't you punished her enough? Just let her go. Do it for me.

Garret: And I will do this why? For your silence?

Di: No. You have that regardless.

Garret: Good. So tell me about this letter you wrote with my name in it.

Tad: Who said anything about you and Jamie getting serious?

Zach: Martin!

Amanda: Oh, my God!

Tad: Relax.

Zach: Do you have any idea how your blind idiocy is killing people?

Tad: Well, then you better back off, because my blind idiocy is starting to hate your guts.

Amanda: Ok, that's it. I cannot take any more killing talk. I'm out of here.

Tad: Well, at least you got rid of her. Who did I supposedly kill?

Zach: Kevin Sturgess, Dixie’s ex-boyfriend.

Tad: That's too bad. I just told Amanda the bodies were going to start stacking up.

Zach: So what'd you do? You went over there. Did he say something, not say something? What? Because of your carelessness, another man is dead! I'm not going to let that happen to Julia!

Tad: That's not what I want, either.

Zach: Ok. We agree. So, where's Dixie?

Di: That letter is safe.

Garret: I got your message. Or should I say threat? I was hurt, still am. Why would you need insurance against me?

Di: Well, a girl has a couple of attempts on her life, she gets a little nervous. Like I said, I learned from the master -- protect yourself at all costs.

Garret: And why would you need to protect yourself from me?

Di: Your message was pretty clear. That letter is buried deep, as long as I don't end up dead.

Garret: Are you sure you want to play this game with me?

Di: Well, we've been playing it for a while. Something happens to me, the truth comes out. If I'm fine, all's well.

Garret: You seem pretty sure of yourself.

Di: Well, I have just as much to lose as you do.

Garret: You do? So you tell on me, I tell on you? I spread the word you're not Dixie Martin? You're her half sister that I found on the streets in New York?

Di: We both have lives now. Julia deserves one, too. What do you say, Garret? Let her go. Do it for me.

Julia's voice: Oh, so I'm just going to chill out in your bedroom while you go God knows where to meet with God knows who to get my life back?

Di's voice: That's the plan.

[Alone in Di’s room, Julia imagines her life happy.]

Maitre d': Mrs. Keefer, how wonderful to see you again. Your usual table?

Julia: Yes, thank you.

Di: Oh, Julia, would you care to join us?

Julia: No, thank you. I'm having dinner with my family tonight.

[Coming out of her reverie, Julia murmurs to herself.]

Julia: My family.

Danielle: He's supposed to be family, my stepdad. Why would Garret think I would give in to him like that? Did I say something?

Reggie: No, no. It's not like you're wearing a sign around your neck, "Hit on me, Stepdaddy."

Danielle: Do I come off stupid? Needy? Pathetic? I --

Reggie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, ok? This isn't about you.

Danielle: All right, something -- he had to think that he could get away with it. I mean, something in him thought he could get away with it, otherwise he wouldn't have done it. He's not stupid.

Reggie: Stupid? No, he's sick. It's all about power with these guys.

Danielle: Then why me and not some other poor girl?

Reggie: Dani, I don't know. Honestly, I don't get a guy like that. But what I do know is you had nothing to do with the way this guy operates. So don't even think about blaming yourself. It's not you.

Danielle: Maybe it didn't used to be, but this is me now, who lost my mom for good this time, who made a complete fool out of herself by accusing a man who lunches with CEOs and senators for being some kind of pervert. This is me, who looks like a total loser now.

Reggie: Not to me.

Danielle: Thanks. It really means a lot to know you've got my back.

Reggie: I believe you, all right, about this, about everything.

Danielle: Please, Reggie. I know what you're trying to say, but I can't think past today, this minute. I can't fix this, let alone anything else.

Reggie: Dani, as long as you know where I'm at, what I'm ready for.

Danielle: I've been beat up pretty bad in the emotion department. I know I did the same thing to you.

Reggie: Well, that's not important right now.

Danielle: It'll always be important. And I want you to know that I am incredibly grateful for everything --

Reggie: Listen, listen --

Danielle: And I really appreciate your offer to help.

Reggie: Whatever you need, ok? I'm going to be here for you.

Danielle: I think I need to deal with this one on my own.

Reggie: I understand. Just, you know, call me if you need me.

Danielle: That's the best help you could give.

Reggie: I understand. You let me know, ok?

Danielle: I will. Thanks.

Zach: Well, I guess you can close this one.

Tad: Do you mind? How could I possibly be responsible for the death of a man that happened halfway around the globe?

Zach: How? You blew his cover.

Tad: My interview with Sturgess had absolutely nothing to do with Julia.

Zach: Fine! Then there's one less link to the man that's behind it. So now your ex-girlfriend's it. Dixie's our only hope of keeping Julia alive.

Garret: You were one of my great success stories. But Julia Santos represents a failure to me. Whether or not she can harm me is not part of the equation.

Di: Can't you just listen to me?

Garret: If I would do it for anyone, I'd do it for you. And -- hell, I'm feeling generous. And it is my wedding day, so I'll think about it and let you know.

Di: Thank you. I'll take what I can get. Is there a way I can keep in touch with you?

Garret: Anytime.

[Garret hands Di his business card.]

Garret: And, Di? I meant what I said. You look beautiful.

Mimi: There you are. Hello, Dixie. It's been a long time.

Di: Hey. Congratulations. Tad and I are sorry we couldn't make it to the wedding. I was just telling your new husband how lucky you are to have found each other.

Mimi: Well, thank you very much.

Di: Mm-hmm. Sorry, I have to be off. It was nice to meet you, Garret.

Mimi: Bye.

Garret: Something's up?

Mimi: Yeah, something big.

Krystal: Well! I swear, Adam, I had no idea you even cared.

Adam: I didn't. I don't.

Krystal: Well, from my fuzzy memories -- which are starting to come back faster and faster -- you pursued me like one of those laser-guided missiles. I really am flattered.

Adam: Oh, don't be. I'm sure the 5.0 blood alcohol level had something to do with it.

Krystal: No, don't blame the beer goggles on this one, mister.

Adam: We're going to have to get this thing annulled, and hope no one finds out about it.

Krystal: Well, in order to have a marriage annulled, you can't have consummated it, and -- uh -- we did that, at least twice.

Adam: Annulment, divorce -- whatever.

Krystal: Oh, yeah, there was a hell of a lot of consummating going on -- over there, on top of that, and --

Adam: Will you stop your infernal yammering, woman?

Krystal: Oh, come on, honey. You're starting to sound like a husband already.

Adam: We'll get the divorce. Trust me, I've done it before. My lawyers will handle it. You won't feel a thing.

Krystal: Sweetums, who ever said that I would want a divorce?

Adam: You wouldn't.

Krystal: Now, don't worry. I'll let you hold the scan gun when we register.

Adam: You wouldn't dare.

Krystal: Don't you ever dare me to do anything.

[After rendering Adam speechless, Krystal bursts out laughing.]

Krystal: Whoo! Yeah, for a moment there, I thought we were going to have to get you a new pair of pants.

Adam: All right, all right, enough joking, all right? The sooner we get home, the sooner this whole thing will be over.

Krystal: Oh, of course I'll give you a divorce.

Adam: Thank God! I'm getting out of here.

Krystal: As soon as you sign me over half of everything you own.

Adam: You conniving little --

Krystal: It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it, Adam?

Adam: There's no way -- for 12 hours?

Krystal: Oh, now, don't flatter yourself.

Adam: No, one night of --

Krystal: Of hedonistic bliss.

Adam: No, insanity. No way you're entitled to a dime.

Krystal: Now, hold on there. I'm asking for the jet in the settlement. So you better behave yourself if you want a ride home. I tell you what -- why don't you grab my bags, dear, and I'll -- I'll meet you in the car.

Zach: Dixie will tell me the truth.

Tad: She's got nothing to tell.

Zach: We both know that's not correct.

Tad: Slater, just let me handle it.

Zach: Let you handle it? The way you handled Sturgess? I made a promise to Julia, and one way or the other, I'm going to get that name from Dixie.

Garret: It's me. It's about Julia Santos.

Julia: Let me go.

Derek: This is for your own good.

Julia: For my own good? Why are you handcuffing me?

Mimi: Because the Feds believe you have information in an ongoing investigation.

Di: Wait -- no, let her go.

Julia: You bitch! You backstabbing bitch!

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Garret (to Danielle): Let's you and I drink to our new family, and growing closer.

Greenlee (to Zach): Divorce Kendall, tomorrow.

Kendall (to Dr. Madden): The procedure -- let's do it right now.

Julia (to Di): I should've shot you when I had the chance.

Ryan: Get a doctor in here now!

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