AMC Transcript Friday 7/8/05

All My Children Transcript Friday 7/8/05

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Proofread by Gisele

J.R.: You just don't give up, do you? You come in and you crash my sister's memorial.

Babe: J.R., I swear, this isn't a game or --

J.R.: Go ahead. Go ahead and disrespect my mother and Kate. Scream to the top of your lungs for the zillionth time that she's a fake.

Adam: All right. I'm sorry, son, but she is.

J.R.: And you're using Krystal and Babe as backup? I mean, come on, Dad, that is just pathetic. How much did you grease the warden, so she'd get a free day pass?

Jamie: So help me, Adam, if you've taken advantage of Krystal or Babe in any way --

Adam: I got the woman out of a 10-year prison sentence, for God’s sake!

Tad: In exchange for what?

J.R.: It doesn't matter. Krystal's going back to the slammer, and we're going back to the house.

Babe: J.R., Adam didn't use us. I swear. And this woman -- she's not Dixie.

J.R.: Well, if Babe the baby-stealer says so, I'm sure it is.

Krystal: It is true, J.R., and I am just as sorry for you as I can possibly be. And you. She is not your Dixie, Tad.

Tad: And your proof?

Krystal: She was in jail with me.

Val: No, no, no, no, no. No, excuse me, no. The crab claws and the tiger prawns cannot come out until all the media have arrived. Go back.

Josh: You can set up right here. Primo location. Miss Kane has not forgotten about her friends at RCW.

Erica: Be right there.

Jack: Let me tell you what, sweetheart. When you throw a launch party, you throw a launch party.

Erica: Well, hey, if you can christen a yacht with champagne, why not christen my new show with champagne?

Jack: Absolutely. And you, what do you think? You excited about the whole family being on air coast to coast, buddy?

Reggie: Yeah, check it out. Profile A or profile B? Which one the camera's going to like the most?

Erica: Oh, the camera's going to like all of you. I'm so thrilled that you're here today with me.

Josh: Danielle. Hey. How are you? It's so nice to see you.

Danielle: I didn't know you'd be here.

Josh: Is that a problem?

Danielle: No. Of course not.

Josh: Ok, good.

Zach: Hi. How long before showtime?

Erica: I am warning you. You are here for only one reason, and that's because I love my daughter.

Zach: So do I. I want all of America to know about it.

Erica: One wrong move, and I will show all of America how to bring down an arrogant sack really fast.

Ryan: How about a little help, Erica? I'd be very happy to oblige.

Erica: Thank you very much. Thank you, Ryan. But I can handle this, and I will.

Kendall: Greenlee, all of this stuff about you and news and changing lives?

Greenlee: Shh. Not here.

Jack: Erica, excuse us for just a second. Ryan, I hope I don't have to remind you how important this day is to Erica and to our whole family.

Ryan: I get it, Jack, thank you.

Jack: Well, you better get it, because last time I saw you at Slater’s casino, you made a hell of a scene.

Ryan: Well, it's not going to happen, not tonight or ever again. You have my word.

Jack: I've heard that before, haven't I?

Ryan: This time I can back it up.

Kendall: Don't leave.

Greenlee: On my way here, I stopped by the drugstore.

Kendall: An early-pregnancy test.

Greenlee: Burning a hole in my purse. I don't think I can wait until after the party. This little magic stick will confirm what I already know in my heart. That I'm pregnant with Ryan’s baby.

Kendall: Ok, I hate to rain on your test wand, but isn't it a little too early for a "baby onboard" sign?

Greenlee: I've been keeping track of my cycle with a stopwatch. Anytime before 5:02 is too early. Anytime after 5:03 is good.

Josh: Two of my three fertility goddesses. Where's the catwoman?

Kendall: Home with a bad hairball.

Greenlee: You're Dr. Madden's son.

Josh: Yeah.

Greenlee: What's he doing here?

Kendall: Josh is my mother's supervising producer on "New Beginnings."

Josh: Your generous friend Kendall helped me get the gig.

Kendall: Only because he blackmailed me into it.

Josh: Blackmail's harsh. You owed me a favor for not ratting you out at the fertility heist.

Kendall: Well, now we're even.

Josh: Unless I catch you again with your hands in the cryo cookie jar.

Kendall: Well, thanks to you, we got exactly what we came for.

Josh: Hope the stolen goods pay off for you. Joshua's a good name if it's a boy.

Greenlee: Is there a reason you're harassing us?

Josh: Just trying to keep everybody happy.

Kendall: Hmm.

Josh: They're not frozen, but enjoy them anyway.

Kendall: How does he do that? He ticks me off, and then he makes me laugh.

Greenlee: Don't know, don't care.

Kendall: Uh -- you ok?

Greenlee: Sure, I'm perfect. Ahem.

Kendall: You look a little seasick.

Greenlee: I'm fine, really.

Kendall: No, Greenlee, don't give me fine. You're about as green as this wasabi.

Greenlee: Those hors d'oeuvres --

Zach: Who launched the tiny torpedo?

Kendall: Well, it's not the hors d'oeuvres or even me that's making Greenlee hurl. I think it's morning sickness. My God, she's pregnant.

Ryan: I get it, Jack. Cameras roll, my fists will not fly.

Jack: They had better not.

Ryan: But if I feel like going psycho, then I'll just wait till they call cut.

Val: Erica, come on, baby. This way. Erica?

Ryan: Joke, Jack.

Jack: You should grow a sense of humor, Ryan.

Photographer: One more, one more.

Danielle: Oh, my goodness, Reggie, this is crazy. You know, a photographer snapped my picture on the way?

Reggie: Yeah, I saw. It'll be in the papers tomorrow.

Danielle: You think? I wish they had gotten us both together, though. Well, you'll get your time to shine here with your family.

Reggie: But, hey -- um -- who's your friend?

Danielle: Oh, just some guy from the beach party. You know my dad's still not over me staying out all night? Mom's cool, though, thanks to the fiancé. Garret's trying to score big points being super nice to me. I say bring it on. As long as it keeps Captain Mimi Reed off my case, I'm cool with it. Reggie, what -- what's up?

Reggie: Nothing. Nothing at all. All right. So when the cameras are rolling, which way should I play? Will Smith or Chris Tucker? Which way? I don't know.

Danielle: Hmm.

Reggie: Yeah. I like that, I like that.

Jack: Excuse us just -- we'll be right back.

Erica: Excuse me. Excuse me, Lily. If this is too much for you, you don't have to stay.

Lily: No, I want to stay. I want everyone to see our family and that I'm a part of it.

Erica: Oh, you are a very beautiful and very special part of it. Listen, can I tell you more, you know, to prepare you for when the press conference actually begins?

Lily: Yes. Yes, I'd like that. It helps for me to know and go over it in my head. My Life Skills coach calls it scripting.

Erica: Well, this script is very, very simple, because I am going to talk about my new TV show. Then I'm going to introduce my family. And then each one of you will say a few words about our new beginning, as a family.

Lily: Ok, I can do that.

Erica: I know you can. And I know you're going to do everything just beautifully.

Lily: Ok.

Erica: Ok.

Josh: I got Lola Matthews and her Channel 3 team warm and happy.

Erica: Oh, Lola Matthews. Should have put the shrew behind a pylon.

Josh: I'm sensing some back story.

Erica: Ah, professional jealousy -- hers, not mine.

Josh: Well, you make the news, and she reports it. Who would you rather be?

Erica: Yeah.

Jack: Sweetheart, you know, you -- are you sure you want the whole family on camera with you?

Erica: You know what? I am absolutely sure. Because I know that after all of America sees my family, they are going to love my family as much as I do.

Jack: Or they're going to wonder why we all haven't been committed.

Erica: No.

Jack: Come on.

[Jack and Erica laugh]

Kendall: Greenlee, you ok in there? Greenlee?

Ryan: Kendall, you seen my beautiful wife?

Kendall: Um -- what, you mean Greenlee?

Ryan: No, I mean the other wives in my harem.

Kendall: Um --

Ryan: Ah. Hey, you don't look so good.

Kendall: Oh, that's what every woman wants to hear.

Greenlee: I -- I'm -- I'm ok. I just got an attack of mini stage fright.

Ryan: Stage fright? You? The woman who took no prisoners at the big Fusion launch?

Greenlee: Well, this launch is a much bigger deal. It's all about family.

Krystal: Go on, tell J.R., Jamie, and Tad who you are when you're not scamming this family.

J.R.: Stop it. Stop it right now. This woman is Dixie. She is my mother.

Adam: No, she is a shameless con artist who's taken advantage of all of us.

[J.R. scoffs]

J.R.: Don't you get it, Tad? Jamie, I know you're not too dumb to see what Adam is trying to pull.

Jamie: We can find out if you're telling the truth. Mug shots, fingerprints.

J.R.: We have already matched fingerprints to my mother. Don't you see? He's jealous. He wants Dixie out of my life. He wants to rip her grandson from her. That's why he's made up this lie.

Adam: No, son. I got the truth.

J.R.: No, what you did is you worked Babe. You promised her more time with my son. And then she worked Krystal, and Krystal struck up a deal with you so she can get out of prison.

Babe: It wasn't like that.

J.R.: All she had to do was make the claim. The only competition for Tad was some lowlife prison buddy.

Krystal: J.R., I was just as shocked as you are.

J.R.: Oh, do I look shocked? I'm so used to my father running power games like this. You've really outdone yourself, Dad. Bravo. And you, Krystal, Babe -- I'd expect this out of you. So try not to trip on any more lies on your way out.

Babe: The only person lying here is the woman claiming to be your mother.

Krystal: Behind bars, her name is Di Kirby, and she was in prison for almost a year.

J.R.: No, the only criminal here is you. And whatever deal you struck up with Adam, I will send you back to your cell.

Tad: Enough. Is Krystal telling the truth or not?

Di: It's the truth.

J.R.: So what did you do to her? What did you do? Did you threaten to throw her in a padded suite at Oak Haven?

Tad: J.R., let her talk.

Krystal: What do you have to say for yourself, Di?

Tad: Did Adam pressure you? Force you to lie about who you are?

Di: No, he doesn't have that kind of power over me.

J.R.: Come on, don't cover up for him. If Dad has something on you --

Krystal: You mean other than the fact that we shared a cellblock together?

Babe: And that you've lied about just about everything -- being a nanny, my son's grandmother?

J.R.: Oh, will you shut up? You of all skank liars do not get to make that call.

Jamie: Well, you know what? Both of you shut up, until we get some facts.

J.R.: Mom, listen to me, you don't have to do this right now. If you're uncomfortable, we can go inside the house in private, and you can tell me what Adam’s got on you.

Di: He doesn't have anything on me, J.R. I'm not lying.

Krystal: Why don't you just do what Jamie says and get the prison to fax over her mug shot?

Adam: The fingerprints were doctored -- by the same piece of dirt who hid the clues in Switzerland, who worked with Di Kirby to put together this whole charade. Don't you -- don't you remember? When Tad accused me of hiding the clues to torment him? To make him think that Dixie was alive?

J.R.: And you hated him enough to do it.

Adam: Yes, and I still do! But somebody else hates him more. Think about it. Think good and hard.

Tad: Hayward. Hayward put you up to this? Paved your way into our lives?

David: Yes.

Erica: Beth, I hope that you've forgiven me for cheating you out of a wedding.

Beth: An Erica Kane wedding is an event, but so is Erica Kane launching a new television show.

Erica: Thank you. A new show and a new blended family.

Jack: Yeah, we have enough people to be our own softball team.

Beth: Congratulations to you both and --

Jack: Thank you.

Beth: Happiness.

Jack: Thank you very much.

Erica: Thank you.

Jack: Appreciate that.

Val: So --

Erica: Yes?

Val: Are you ready to sparkle and shine?

Erica: Absolutely. Is my family ready?

Val: Yeah, I rounded everyone up except Lily.

Jack: Lily? Where is she?

Erica: Oh, it's ok. I know where she is. You join the others.

Jack: Ok. Thanks.

Lily: 97, 96, 95 --

Erica: Lily, Lily, Lily -- is it the lights?

Lily: 94, 93 --

Erica: Ok, it's me. It's Erica. Did you bring the sunglasses?

Lily: Purse.

Erica: Oh, ok. I am going to reach into your purse.

Lily: 86, 85, 84, 83 --

Erica: Ok, and now I am going to put your sunglasses on you, ok?

Lily: 81 --

Erica: Ok, how's that? Is that better, honey?

Lily: Yeah.

Erica: Ok.

Danielle: Good luck.

Reggie: How do I look? I look ok?

Danielle: You look so fine, you could have your own fan club.

Reggie: Ok. I don't need them. I have you.

Danielle: Oh. Well, I'm going to go grab a spot in front of the stage, all right?

Reggie: Ok.

Ryan: You just -- you just kind of feel cold and clammy. You sure it's just nerves?

Greenlee: Yeah. Just -- maybe some water will get rid of the heave-y-jeebies.

Kendall: Ok, there is no way that Greenlee can handle the spotlight in her condition.

Zach: If she has a condition.

Kendall: Well, we won't know until she takes the test after the press show. Now, if Ryan finds out and puts it together, then losing her lunch might be the best event of the entire day.

Zach: Hey, hey, hey, you're a wreck.

Kendall: That's because I took your advice, and I tried to help Greenlee. But I -- Zach, I don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to do it.

Zach: All right. Well, just -- we'll try to keep the focus off her when she's onstage.

Kendall: Well, you don't do stand-up, and I left my accordion at home. So now what?

Zach: You play the accordion? I'll take care of it, trust me.

Kendall: That's the scariest thing you've said to me all day.

Val: People, Erica’s about to take the stage. Come on.

[Applause]

Erica: Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you and welcome. Oh, I am very happy to be here with all of you today. And incredibly excited. My new venture. Adventure. In fact, recently, I saw a video of myself as a TV weather girl.

[Laughter]

Erica: Just starting out. Young and naive and fearless. And that was actually just the first of many of my new beginnings. Everything from the -- the chat shows to the catwalk. Race car driver, skydiver. Author, cosmetics queen, waitress, showgirl. And even a short stint as a nun.

[Laughter]

Erica: No, no, no, no -- that's going to be the subject of my anniversary show.

[Laughter]

Erica: But recently, I found myself needing to shake up my life, to do something new. And that's actually the premise of my show -- "New Beginnings." Sometimes it's hard to -- to realize that something has to come to an end, something that no longer works, something that no longer supports your spirit. And sometimes a person needs a -- a gentle nudge or encouragement, or even hands-on help to get to that next adventure. And that's what "New Beginnings" will offer. I am going to join each of our guests on a personal journey, and I'm going to help them reach their personal new beginning. And you at home will join us on that journey and hopefully be inspired to find your own. I achieved my latest new beginning, and that's what I'm here to share with you and to celebrate. My new beginning. My family. My new beginning. Starting with my new husband, Jack. And our new daughter, Lily. Our new son, Reggie. And my new daughter Greenlee and her husband, Ryan.

[Applause]

Erica: And last but not least, my daughter Kendall and her husband, Zach.

[Applause]

Zach: All right. Guys, this is -- sorry -- this is -- what an amazing woman you are. You inspire me, and we love you. This is Erica Kane.

[Erica continues to smile even when Zach kisses her on the cheek.]

J.R.: Oh, no, no, no, I don't think so. Get off our property, now.

David: But I just got here, junior.

Adam: Let him stay, J.R. I think Hayward has a lot of explaining to do.

J.R.: No, I don't want to hear it from him, and I don't want to hear it from you. Or you or you! This is all a setup. You're all out to get me, hmm? Because I have our son. And because I stuck it to your baby doll. And you hate me, because I'm moving out of the house with my mom and my son. This is my mother. This is my son's grandmother, and none of you can take her away from us.

David: J.R., I never intended to take anything away from you. The first time I saw her, I was at the prison when I went to visit Krystal. I was blown away by this aura of Dixie that she had about her. Well, the next day, I went to visit her. We talked. I told her that she resembled your mother. And she told me that it was more than just a passing resemblance. That she was indeed Dixie and that she needed my help. And like a damn fool, I believed her.

Zach: So I'm wearing my French --

Erica: Unfortunately, there are two members of my family who aren't able to be with us here today. My beautiful daughter, Bianca, and her beautiful baby daughter, Miranda. They live in Paris, but they are definitely here with us today in spirit.

Jack: And they did bless our wedding with their presence.

Erica: Yes, they did, didn't they?

Jack: They sure did.

Erica: Jack --

Jack: Hmm?

Erica: Will you share some of that experience with everyone? Our new beginning? Our beautiful wedding?

Jack: Sure, honey, I'd love to. Um -- God, where do I start? It was exactly what we needed it to be. No hoopla, no fanfare, no hallelujah chorus. Just these few wonderful people underneath this amazing Banyan tree, where we exchanged our vows and pledged "Till death do us part." To each other and our family.

Reggie: My dad and Erica have been walking down that aisle forever. It's about time they finally made it to the altar.

[Laughter]

Reggie: But it took J kidnapping her to do it.

[Laughter]

Erica: Ah. Lily -- Lily, what was your favorite part of the wedding festivities?

Lily: When I went on your honeymoon boat, but not on purpose.

[Laughter]

Erica: Well, we were pretty surprised that you were on our honeymoon boat.

Lily: And then you were glad when I left so that you and Dad could have sex.

[Laughter]

Erica: Greenlee --

Josh: Are you ok?

Erica: You and Ryan --

Josh: Yeah?

Erica: You have just celebrated your first wedding anniversary. I mean, you are still virtually newlyweds.

Zach: No, wait -- sorry, Jack. I think we are the real newlyweds at this clambake. And I'm not much of a public speaker, but you're my jackpot.

Reporters: Aw.

Erica: Thank you. Greenlee, please, won't you and Ryan tell us all about your wedding? About your new beginning?

Ryan: Um -- well, I remember the first thing that Greenlee said to me after the wedding ceremony.

Greenlee: I'm going to be sick.

Ryan: Um -- excuse me. Ahem.

Kendall: Um -- my friend needs me. Excuse me, excuse me.

Zach: My wife needs me.

Lily: Are the newlyweds going to all have sex now?

Jack: Well, there you have it, or at least some of us. The Montgomery/Kane family. Maybe we're not what one might expect, but we love each other, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

[Applause]

Jack: Isn't that right, honey?

Kendall: Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan --

Ryan: Something's wrong with Greenlee.

Kendall: Look, I know what it is, all right? Greenlee made a stop on the way here for some sushi.

Ryan: Sushi? Before this spread?

Kendall: Yeah, well, you know, Greenlee’s tiny. She needs constant refueling. Anyway, the sushi looked a little off, and I -- you know, I passed on it, but she went ahead and filled up on the California rolls, and so I think she's paying for it now.

Ryan: Well, if it's food poisoning, I should call a doctor, so --

Kendall: No, it's ok. She'll be fine. Just let me take care of her.

Ryan: And what do you want?

Zach: She'll be all right.

Ryan: What are you, a doctor now? Look, I don't need your reassurance, Slater, so just back off!

Zach: How's your anger management working? Does one hand even know what the other one's doing?

Kendall: Hey, Greenlee -- Greenlee, listen, are you ok in there? Hey, come on.

Greenlee: Oh, I've never been so happy to puke my guts out. I must have morning sickness in the afternoon.

Kendall: Well, it could be. I mean, we won't know for sure until you take the test.

Greenlee: We'll know for sure in 2 minutes and 20 seconds.

Zach: Maybe you should pop another chill pill. Take the edge off.

[Ryan walks away from the confrontation.]

Zach: Erica! Did we wow them, or did we wow them, huh? I mean, we clicked in front of that camera.

Erica: Oh, those cameras saved you from being slapped silly.

Zach: Next time, don't censor yourself. Just keep it real. Do what you want to do.

Erica: "Next time"?

Zach: Yeah. I thought, you know, maybe I could be a regular on your show.

Erica: You just keep your hands and your lips off me and my daughter.

Zach: Don't be that way. Give me another chance. How about you and I have a new beginning?

[Erica scoffs]

Erica: I can't promise you a new beginning, Zach, but if you don't lay off, I can promise you a very tragic ending.

Greenlee: It worked. I'm pregnant. I'm going to be having Ryan’s baby. Ah! Yeah! I'm pregnant!

[As Greenlee hugs Kendall, Erica walks in.]

Jack: So what's going on, Ryan?

Ryan: Kendall seems to think that Greenlee ate some bad sushi.

Jack: Some bad sushi?

Ryan: Yes, Jack. What do you think I did? You think I mixed some poison in with her sashimi? Go ahead, check my pockets. Take her in for a tox screen. Look, I told you that I would never hurt my wife.

Lily: Erica's mouth was turned up when she exited the stage, but she wasn't happy, was she? I think I must have said something wrong.

Reggie: No, Lily, you were great, and very original. Have you -- have you seen Dani around?

Lily: No, but I can look for her if you want me to be on the case.

Reggie: No, no, that's ok. Ah, she's probably at the dessert table or something like that. You know, girls love anything dipped in chocolate. Can I bring you back anything?

Lily: No, thanks. It's too loud to eat.

Reggie: Ok.

Josh: Danielle, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing.

Danielle: I can handle it.

Josh: You don't have to handle it alone. Especially since I think it's got something to do with our night on the beach. Just tell me what it is. I'm a man of many talents. I could fix it.

Danielle: Can you take back that night? Make me a virgin again?

Josh: Oh, Danielle. Why didn't you tell me?

[Lily spies Danielle and Josh hugging.]

Erica: A baby! Yours and Ryan’s! Oh, you did it!

Greenlee: You could've knocked.

Erica: Well, I -- I came to check on you after you bolted from the stage. Listen, I had the worst morning sickness in the whole world with Bianca. But they say that's a good sign. It's a good sign of a healthy baby.

Kendall: Ok, Mom, right now, this is kind of a private moment.

Erica: This is amazing. I mean, the risks you took -- and not just for yourself, but for Ryan, too -- that took such strength and such courage. And a love that I didn't think that you were capable of. But you know what? I was wrong. And I'm glad that I'm wrong, because this is a whole new beginning for you and Ryan. Have you thought about how you'll break the news to Ryan?

Greenlee: I've only been sure I was pregnant for two minutes.

Erica: Well, but I know you've thought about it, because Ryan made it so painfully clear that he doesn't want to have a child.

Kendall: Ok, Mother, Greenlee doesn't need the recap.

Erica: No -- the only thing that's important now is how you tell him. Make him understand that you did it for love. Surround him with love. In fact, all of us -- the whole family -- let me just go gather everyone together right now, and you can tell Ryan.

Kendall: No, no!

Greenlee: No!

Krystal: David, what the hell are you trying to pull now?

Babe: Dad, please, you really owe everyone here the truth.

Jamie: Never get it, Babe.

David: You think it's easy for me to admit that I was taken in by this woman? That I was played for a fool, just like the rest of you? Here's the short version. She used me.

Krystal: Oh, that -- that is such a bold-faced lie. You told me your whole plot, from soup to nuts, and you warned me -- you warned me to keep my mouth shut.

David: Yes, that's true. And that's because I was the one that figured it out before all of you. But it was too late by the time I figured it out. I had to go along with it.

Babe: It's also too late to turn all this around, but please, do not make this worse.

J.R.: Man, you are so out of here, Hayward.

Di: No, let him say what he came to say. I'm interested to see how he's going to lie himself out of this.

David: Oh, believe me, I wish it were a lie. It'd be a lot easier to live with that than the truth.

Tad: Which is what? That she just walked up to you and said, "Hi, I'm Dixie"?

David: No, Tad, she was much more subtle than that. She pulled me in one visit at a time. Played on my attraction for her. Well, it hit me that it was during those visits that she had me open up about Dixie. All the while, feeding off of my memories and storing them up for future reference.

Adam: Like how she could hook J.R. with one chorus of "You Are My Sunshine."

Jamie: Same with the chocolate chip cookies, no nuts.

David: By the time Di left prison, she had everything she needed to convince anyone that she was indeed Dixie come back from the dead.

Adam: She didn't convince me.

David: Yeah, well, that's because you were hoping that she was lying. We, on the other hand -- we all wanted to believe. So when Di showed up at my cabin confessing to be Dixie, believe me, it didn't take much selling. But, hey, wait a minute -- we got to give credit where it's due. She was brilliant.

Krystal: I wish I could say the same thing for this bundle of crap.

David: You know when the first time I realized that I had been had? I showed Di some personal belongings that I had of Dixie’s. Well, it turned out, after a few days, a compact was missing. Now, I'm assuming that's what you all used to get the fingerprints? She told me that she wanted a way to see her family without anyone knowing. So I helped her. I gave her the nanny cover.

Tad: What about the phone calls from Europe? What about Diana Cole swearing she befriended a patient that could be Dixie?

David: I don't know anything about that. You're going to have to ask Di. I just helped her get the nanny job, that's it.

Jamie: You are sick, twisted, and evil.

David: I was helping who I thought was Dixie, Jamie. The woman I loved. The woman I never got over. And I would have done anything to make her happy. I mean, you know what I'm saying, don't you, Tad?

J.R.: You know, it'd be so easy for me to break your neck.

Di: No, J.R., don't. He's not worth the effort.

Krystal: David, your story has stink all over it.

Babe: Please tell me that you're not actually trying to worm your way out of this.

Jamie: Oh, he's wormed his way out of worse.

Di: Oh, David, watching you work the room -- it's nothing short of amazing.

David: No, no, no, no, no. You're the one who's amazing, "Dixie." Because you almost pulled it off.

Adam: We heard enough from you, Hayward.

Di: Yeah, damn straight. It's my turn to talk.

Josh: I care about you, Danielle.

Danielle: Please, don't.

Josh: I'm sorry. I wish I had known.

Danielle: It's -- it's not just that. It's not just the big V, it's -- I have a boyfriend.

Josh: You told me you didn't do relationships.

Danielle: I know. Another lie. I'm so sorry.

Josh: Don't apologize. I'm worried about you, Danielle. What can I do to help? Anything, name it. Is it going to be ok with your guy?

Danielle: I'm not going to tell him. I'd break his heart.

Josh: I won't say a word.

Reggie: Hey, Lily, any sign of Dani?

Lily: Yeah, I just saw her hugging Mom’s supervising producer, Josh Madden. He almost kissed her, too. Does that mean she's not your girlfriend anymore?

Zach: How you doing?

Ryan: Back off, Slater. I don't need a rage sponsor. I was worried about Greenlee.

Zach: So am I.

Greenlee: There's no way I'm going to tell Ryan about this in front of the family.

Kendall: It would feel like an ambush or an intervention.

Greenlee: Ryan only needs me, not a group hug.

Erica: You need to calm down. You need to watch your blood pressure now.

Greenlee: No, no, Erica, you really need to stay out of this. I decide when Ryan’s ready to hear about his baby. I choose how to tell him.

Erica: Ok, listen, I know that Ryan thinks he doesn't want to have a baby. That's why he took such drastic preventive measures, but I happen to believe that he behaved rashly.

Kendall: Ok, Mother, this is between Greenlee and Ryan, ok? Your opinion doesn't count.

Erica: Well, of course it does. We're family. We -- we stand by each other, in good times and bad.

Greenlee: I really think I should handle this alone.

Erica: But there's no reason for you to have to. Because with all of us around to support you and Ryan, then Ryan will see your baby -- his baby -- as the blessing it truly is.

Greenlee: I know you mean well, and you wish us the best --

Erica: I wish you the best, so then it's settled. Ok, I'm going to find Ryan, I'm going to round up everybody.

Kendall: Mom, wait. Mom, wait! We need to stop her.

Di: You all have heard kernels of the truth from Krystal, and Babe, and Adam. Even he got some of it right. I have told some lies. I -- I was in prison. And David told the truth about how we met. I did go up to his place after I got out of prison. I needed help. And David gave it to me. But he lied about why he put me in this house. It wasn't because he thought he was making "Dixie" happy. He paid me. Big bucks, too. To work on J.R., to soften him up, to ease up his grudge over Babe. And -- and the clues? He lied about them, too. He planted every last one of them -- from the real Diana Cole to the doctor friend in Switzerland. And I never told him that I was Dixie. I told him the same thing I told Krystal and everyone else that walked into that prison room. I told them that I was Di Kirby. And that was the biggest lie of them all.

Tad: We've all heard a lot about lies today. So now it's time for the truth. When you're not being Di Kirby, who are you?

Di: I'm Dixie.

Greenlee: You just can't round up the family and tell them I'm pregnant.

Kendall: Well, she already got Jack to herd the whole clan together.

Erica: Greenlee, trust me.

Kendall: Oh, there's that scary phrase again.

Erica: This is the right way to do this.

Reggie: Well, J, we got to find Dani.

Lily: To see if she's still his girlfriend.

Jack: Well, actually, Erica has something important to tell us. Honey, the gang's all here. Or at least they were. Here they are. So, what's your big announcement?

Ryan: Feeling better?

Greenlee: Not really.

Zach: What's going on?

Erica: Greenlee and I have news that will affect us all as a family.

[All eyes turn to a stunned Greenlee.]

Erica: Greenlee, would you like to tell them? Or should I?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Tad: All I want to know -- is my ex-wife alive, or did she die three years ago?

Di: Only one way to find out.

Jack: Greenlee, what's Erica talking about?

Ryan: Whatever it is, I'd like to hear it right now.

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