AMC Transcript Monday 7/4/05

All My Children Transcript Monday 7/4/05


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Greenlee: What makes you think something's going on?

Ryan: Well, I don't know. You're just acting like you're waiting for something to pop out from behind a tree.

Greenlee: Like a hungry squirrel?

Ryan: Uh, no, like something bigger than that.

Greenlee: A bear?

Ryan: There is definitely something going on here.

Greenlee: I knew it. I knew it, I knew it.

Ryan: Knew what? Give it up.

Jack: Well, Happy Fourth of July.

Derek: Good to see you, Jack.

Jack: Good to see you. Hey, everybody. Listen, first off, Erica can't be here. She's up to her beautiful brown eyes in work for a new TV show. But she sends her regrets, ok?

Lily: Yeah, it's true, too. It's not one of those little lies that adults make up when they don't want to do something.

Livia: Well -- whoo -- damn, we're glad you're here!

Brooke: Hey, everybody.

Jack: Hey, Brooke.

Brooke: You know, I forgot some of the perks of having a teenager back in the house. Sam, can you put that right there?

Sam: Yeah, sure, manual labor.

Reggie: And you better get used to it. It only comes more.

Derek: Well, you know what? There's nothing like families getting together over some of Brooke's homemade apple pie.

Brooke: Oh, the best homemade that I could possibly buy.

Livia: Yes.

Brooke: Hi, Livia.

Tom: How's my favorite ex-wife?

Brooke: Excellent. How are you, Tom?

Jack: Tell you what, let me guard that until we get a knife so we can --

Tom: Oh, yeah.

Sam: Hey, Lily, you look great.

Lily: Thank you, Sam. I spent an extra ten minutes getting ready this morning.

Reggie: Did I tell you how amazing you look today?

Danielle: Only, like, four times.

Mimi: Hello, everybody! Oh. Is that what you wear to a picnic?

Danielle: Wow, a new world record. Hasn't even been ten seconds, and you've already started.

Mimi: Ok, I just thought maybe it was a little much for the occasion. But, sweetheart, there's someone I want you to meet. My fiancé, Garret Williams.

Garret: You must be Dani, my new daughter.

Derek: Your daughter? I don't think so.

Opal: Tad?

[Knock on door]

Opal: It's me! I know you're in there, honey. You can't hide from your mama.


Tad: I can give it the old college try. I'm doing research for a major case. You have one minute.

Opal: Oh, really? Well, then you have got one minute to listen. Now, I know that you are hell-bent on throwing your future away, but I am still your mama, and I can't let you do that.

Tad: Sure you can.

Opal: Now, forget about that research and --

Tad: No. No, no, not a chance. All you're going to do is stand there and try to get me back together with Dixie.

Opal: What makes you think this has anything to do with Dixie?

Tad: The fact that you've got "matchmaker" written all over your face.

Opal: Well, can't I be concerned for you? Do I always have to be up to something?

Tad: Mama, it's me, Tad. Who do you think you're talking to? Let me save you all the time, embarrassment of failure. It ain't going to happen.

Di: Oh, I'm still a fake?

Adam: Jig is up, sweetheart.

Di: Huh.

Adam: Whoever you are, I have proof.

Di: Oh, well, you got me shaking. Really, I am. Can't you see it?

J.R.: Hey, I just saw some houses that we -- wow. Who threw the ice cubes on you two?

Di: Well, your father here has just announced to me that I'm a -- a fake, a fraud. He has proof. Apparently, I'm done.

Adam: Stick a fork in her.

Di: I don't know about you, but I am as anxious as Adam at the altar to see this proof. Aren't you?

J.R.: Yeah. Why don't you put it out there, Dad?

Kendall: No. I won't do it.

Zach: Do what?

Kendall: What you clearly want to do right now.

Zach: And what do I want to do?

Kendall: Something I don't want you to.

Zach: Tell you what. Why don't you let me do what it is that I want to do, and then you'll find out whether you want me to do it or not.

Kendall: All right. Go ahead.

Ryan: I'm dying here! Would you just tell me already?

Greenlee: I wasn't imagining things. You can tell.

Ryan: You want to clue me in?

Greenlee: Ryan, I've got an awesome surprise for you.

Kendall: So are we going to talk or get to it?

Zach: Done.

Kendall: Well, what, am I supposed to follow you?

Zach: That's up to you. I'm not going to grab you by the hair and drag you out of here.

Kendall: Ok, so, what, you're going somewhere more private?

Zach: No, I was just going to go to the --

Kendall: You're going to the casino.

Zach: No. No more casinos, not tonight. Thought I'd go to the park and watch the fireworks, remind myself what passes as normal around here.

Kendall: Oh, hello? Anyone seen my husband in there?

Zach: It's the Fourth of July, Independence Day. So what do you think about you and I being independent?

Danielle: Let's back the truck up, Mack. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, mister, but the only person I call Dad is right there.

Lily: Is he the new bad man since Zach Slater isn't anymore?

Livia: You know, maybe we've all gotten a little bit ahead of ourselves.

Derek: Yeah, well, wherever that is, I'm already there.

Sam: You got some popcorn? Because this is going to be some show.

Garret: Listen, I'm sorry if I was out of line. Your mother's just told me so much about you.

Danielle: So I'm supposed to give you a big hug and welcome a new dad?

Mimi: You could be polite.

Danielle: God forbid I don't drop everything for her, kind of like she dropped everything -- first me, then all my stuff at Dad's, and then, voilà.

Livia: Hey, Dani, why don't you just cool it.

Derek: No, she's got a point, Livia.

Danielle: Please. She's been gone for over a year now. She just wants me to say thanks?

Garret: Your mother thought we should get to know each other, that's all.

Danielle: That's my mother for you. She lives in a freaking dream world and hates it when she doesn't get what she wants.

Mimi: You have no right to speak to me that way.

Derek: Well, who has more of a right than Dani to call you on all the stuff that you did to her?

Brooke: Hey, everybody's welcome here. Mimi --

Mimi: Hi, Brooke.

Brooke: It's nice to see you. And it's Garret?

Garret: Yes.

Brooke: Yeah, Garret, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Brooke English.

Garret: Nice to meet you.

Jack: Jack Montgomery. Welcome.

Garret: Thanks.

Jack: Mimi, good to see you.

Mimi: Jack.

Jack: Could someone get the grill fired up? That'd be you.

Reggie: J, I'm on it. I'm right here.

Danielle: There's no way I'm going off to live with you and what's-his-face just because he buys you a nice handbag. For me, home is here now.

Garret: Hold on, Dani. Your mother never meant to hurt you.

Reggie: All right, new guy, back off my girlfriend, ok?

Mimi: You don't have a vote here!

Livia: Hey, Mimi, what do you think about you and I going to get some ice cream?

Tom: Well, that sounds like an excellent idea.

Livia: Yeah, come on. Let's go.

Mimi: I won't be long.

Sam: Holidays rock.

Opal: Tad, it's a holiday. We are all family. Dixie has made the effort to bring us all together.

Tad: Well, thanks to Dixie, I'm sick to death of miracles.

Opal: Well, the least you can do is show up, play nice, and tell everybody you like their potato salad.

Tad: Well, I certainly play nice a hell of a lot better than you play pool.

Opal: Well, be that as it may, I have seen you through three weddings to Dixie. Now, isn't that worth something? Isn't that worth spending a little time today with your ex-wife? I mean, look at me and Palmer.

Tad: Oh, yeah. There's something to learn from.

Opal: Well, it is something.

Tad: Yeah, something that drives the rest of the family nuts.

Opal: Yeah, of course it does. It drives me macadamia nuts. But we hold it together for Petey’s sake. I mean, the world is full of people that are crazy mixed up in spite of themselves. Just join the party.

Tad: No. I don't want to be with Dixie. I'm not going to be with Dixie.

Opal: Well, that's fine for right now.

Tad: Not for right now. I don't want to be with Dixie ever.

Opal: Ok. Just come to the picnic and be charming. You remember how to do that. You know, funny, charming. Nobody does charming better than you.

Tad: Mama, whatever you're cooking up, move away from the grill.

Opal: Please, Tad -- please, I am begging you. Now, don't miss this chance to help Jamie and J.R. come back together. Dixie is working so hard for them.

Tad: Yeah? The same way you're working me?

Opal: You know, if you don't show up, you will be committing the biggest sin of all.

Tad: Well, it won't be the worst sin I'm guilty of.

Opal: Because the rooster that will be holding this family apart -- it won't be Adam, it'll be you.

Tad: I'm over Dixie, Mama.

Opal: Well, that's fine. Over, under, upside down -- I don't give a damn. Just come to the picnic. Flip a few burgers, offer people cheese. The only thing well done will be Adam, but at least you won't have to live with the guilt of keeping Jamie and J.R. at each other's throats.

J.R.: Well? Don't keep us in suspense. I'm sure this proof that you got must be good.

Di: Go ahead, we're listening.

Adam: Whoever you are, you have gall to spare, lady.

J.R.: Where are the goods? Huh? Does anyone want a drink?

Di: Sure, I'll have some water. If I'm going down in flames, I might want to have something to put it out with.

Adam: You'll have your proof.

J.R.: And where is it? When you play with high-stakes cards, there always comes a time when you got to show them.

Di: We're all in, Adam.

J.R.: We're calling you out.

Adam: You'll have your proof when the time is right.

J.R.: Oh, come on, Dad. What, did the dog eat them?

Adam: I'll have to call out Babe to supply this proof.

J.R.: Babe? Babe's your proof? She'd tell you Winifred is my mother if that'd help her.

Adam: I can understand why you, uh, find fault with the source.

J.R.: Come on, Dad. This is like a broken record. It's the same crap over and over.

Di: When the horse is dead, it's time to dismount.

J.R.: You know, I just found three new houses that we could move into in, like, a week.

Di: Sounds great. This place is getting old.

Adam: Hold off on the down payment.

J.R.: You know, I'm just so sick of you putting the hose on my life. You know what, don't even bother coming to the picnic. Because if you do, I'm going to lose my coleslaw.

Adam: As the head of this family, I'll go wherever I damn well please.

Di: Your father loves you. He's trying to protect you. The fact that he's dead wrong shouldn't be held against him.

J.R.: Fine. But you just sealed the deal. We'll be out of here in a week or two, and you'll be in this mansion all by yourself to wander around and wonder what went wrong. I'm going to get Little Adam.

Di: I still have some influence over our son.

Adam: Our son?

Di: Oh, drop it, Adam. My goal was to bring this family together. I will do that whether you are in on it or not.

Adam: Well, is that the real or the imagined family?

Di: You can't lock me up this time. What you have done to J.R. is far worse than I dreamed. Now, you can be onboard or not. That's your choice. Heaven help you if you're not. Here's to the look on your face when I bring you down.

Greenlee: Did you forget already?

Ryan: Forget what?

Greenlee: Our daily surprises.

Ryan: Well, that's what I'm doing here. I'm trying to make up for the ones that we've missed.

Greenlee: Oh. They're beautiful. Oh.

Ryan: Ok.

Greenlee: Mmm.

Ryan: Your turn. Where's mine?

Greenlee: You will be blown out of your socks.

Ryan: This better be a hell of a surprise.

Greenlee: Oh, it is.

Ryan: You sure you couldn't get me out of something other than my socks?

Greenlee: Give it time.

Ryan: No, time is up.

[Greenlee laughs]

Ryan: Give it up. I'm ready.

Greenlee: You sure about that?

Ryan: What do you want me to do? You want me to close my eyes?

Greenlee: Not quite yet.

Ryan: This is officially torturing your husband.

Greenlee: No, torture is bad. This is very, very good.

Ryan: Ok. So is it in here?

Greenlee: Some surprises are different than others. You can't just pop it out of a bottle. Some take longer to cook.

Ryan: Ok. Well, it takes you about two minutes to order takeout.

Greenlee: This isn't like a car. You can't wrap it in a big bow.

Ryan: Do you like torturing your husband?

Greenlee: How am I doing?

Ryan: You're doing very well.

Greenlee: How about I wait a while before I tell you?

Ryan: This better be good.

Greenlee: Oh, it's the best. You trust me, right?

Ryan: Is there any reason why I shouldn't?

Di: Hi, everyone. It's so good to see you.

Ruth: Dixie.

Di: Oh, Palmer, I'm so glad you could make it.

Palmer: Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world. No, no. Hello there. How are you doing?

J.R.: Well, he's happy now that his Grandma's home.

Ruth: Thank you for putting this all together.

Di: Well, it's a time for family.

Palmer: Yes, no matter how overextended it may be.

Joe: Are you settling in now that --

Ruth: How are things living there with Adam?

Di: Well, you know Adam.

Joe: Yes, and I would watch my back if I were you.

J.R.: Where's the rest of the Martin clan?

Ruth: Oh, they'll be along.

Adam: Happy Fourth of July, everyone.

Di: Happy Fourth, Adam. I'm so glad everyone could be here.

Adam: Uh-huh.

Opal: Well, nothing like a picnic with your nearest and dearest, huh? Hello, hi there.

J.R.: Nearest exes and nearest enemies.

Opal: Well, yes.

Ruth: Opal, where's Tad? Isn't he coming?

Opal: Well, he'll -- oh, yeah, I hope so.

Tad: Have no fear, the king of salmonella is here.

Adam: Lucky us.

Tad: Ah. What's the story with the fire? We should get the coals going. Adam, you're full of hot air, aren't you? Why don't you come on over here and blow?

J.R.: Well, so far so good, little buddy. Looks like your mother must be home polishing Jamie’s wrenches.

Joe: Jamie has a job to attend to before they get here. J.R., don't use your son against his mother. Not today, huh?

Adam: Tad -- no, no, no, you're going to -- you're going to screw it up if you don't bank the coals. You need a pyramid.

Tad: Get away. You know what, I changed my mind. Leave my fire alone. If you don't want to be the main course, just go stand over there.

Di: Is there anything I can do to help?

Adam: I think you've done enough for one Fourth of July.

Ruth: Can things get any worse?

Joe: Well, I don't know. With this crew -- I mean, we're still at the deviled egg stage right now. But, yeah, I think things could get worse before we get to the apple pie.

Palmer: I'm not sure this is what the signers of the Declaration had in mind.

Opal: Yeah, well, you ought to know. You were there when they signed it.

Palmer: If I was there, you certainly were there helping them stitch the flag. Ok -- ahem -- hand it over.

Adam: What?

Palmer: Oh, you know what. Just when I thought there'd be no sunshine in this day. Aha.

Adam: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Palmer: Mmm.

Adam: Ok. How long is this thing supposed to last?

Palmer: I don't know.

Tad: Anyone care for a weenie?

Di: There always has to be at least one in every family picnic.

Kendall: You crack me up.

Zach: What's so funny?

Kendall: You.

Zach: Me, what, eating a hotdog?

Kendall: Yeah, actually. I have seen you eat quail --

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Kendall: Sushi, pheasant, but a red-hot with all the fixings? Never thought I'd see the day.

Zach: When I first became Zach Slater, it's the only think I could afford. And my vegetables were sauerkraut and relish. Uh-huh.

Kendall: Hmm. Well, at least you had a cold beer to wash it down, I hope.

Zach: I did. Relax. I'm not making the moves on you. Just had some mustard on your face right there.

Greenlee: No!

Ryan: We do it my way, or we don't do it at all.

Greenlee: Then don't do it.

Kendall: Ryan -- Ryan, don't! She had to do it! Don't touch her!

Tad: Ah, yeah --

Opal: Oh! Well, thank goodness for those day jobs, I say. Oh, never mind.

Tad: That's yours.

Opal: Cook it up.

Tad: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next Mount Rushmore -- Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Di: Well, I do believe this entire group is worthy of a new monument, representing the real American family.

Ruth: Oh, my goodness.

Tad: No, no, no, she's got a point. There are more families like us out there nowadays than there are the ones you see on prime time.

Di: Where everyone's so cute and adorable.

Opal: Well, wait, who are you calling not cute?

Tad: Oh, Mama, I'm plenty cute. Along with crazed, crazy, and resentful, just like the rest of us. But even if we're all nuts, something keeps us planted together, and I'm not talking about gravity.

Palmer: Speak for yourself.

Tad: Well, you're here, aren't you, PC? I rest my case. Yep, something brought us here together, even if we're scared to death and taking potshots at one another. It ain't easy, it ain't fun, but it seems to work.

Di: It's called love.

Ruth: Amen.

Opal: It's about time.

Palmer: Yeah, yeah.

J.R.: Well, gee whiz, family, now we won't need dessert.

Adam: I think I'm going to be sick.

Mimi: Well, I guess they'll have to live with the disappointment.

Livia: Are you still talking about the ice cream?

Mimi: Oh, Dani will be fine. Nothing a swift kick in the attitude department can't fix.

Livia: Yes, she's certainly had her share of disappointment from you.

Mimi: Well, it's all your fault. You and Derek.

Livia: What are you talking about? Our fault?

Mimi: I expected you to provide an intelligent, loving home for my daughter.

Livia: While you were what, out dating?

Mimi: Look, I needed some time to myself to try to figure things out.

Livia: You're a parent. You don't get time off.

Mimi: This was never a permanent situation.

Livia: Well, it looks like Dani wants it to be.

Mimi: And you've turned my daughter against me. And thanks to you, this will be nearly impossible.

Livia: When are you going to get it? You have done everything wrong that you could possibly do wrong.

Mimi: Look, I never applied for mother of the year. I'm doing the best I can.

Livia: And it's a good thing, because you wouldn't have gotten it. There are no violins playing for you, Mimi.

Mimi: Look, I didn't wreck her first meeting with Garret. Dani did that, and you and Derek were right behind her.

Livia: You dumped your child on us, because you couldn't cope and you had to cut and run. Now, can you just thank God that Dani has gotten over that?

Mimi: She hates me.

Livia: You did that all on your own. What did you expect, you could come back, and she would just say, "Thanks, Mom, I missed you"? Was changing your clothes supposed to change your daughter's feelings?

Mimi: Don't you lecture me on my daughter.

Livia: You don't give a nit about your daughter. All of this is designed to impress Mr. Garret Williams, Mr. Family Man back there.

Mimi: Dani is my family.

Livia: Well, you didn't want her, and now she doesn't want you.

Mimi: And now you ruined everything that we have left. This is such a Derek move.

Livia: Don't you even go there! You never even knew my brother. You never even appreciated him. You didn't even know Dani was his child until the very end. And then you didn't even want to marry him until you could prove to yourself that she was his.

[Dani is shocked by what she's just overheard.]

Derek: Why this guy has to be over here -- I don't know why she brought him here.

Tom: Well, just, you know, take it easy.

Danielle: Dad, is it all right if we go watch the fireworks someplace else?

Derek: Well, sure, sure, yeah. But don't do anything that I wouldn't do.

Reggie: Doesn't really leave too much, now, does it?

Derek: That's the point.

Reggie: Yeah, you're right.

Mimi: Hey, where are you two going? You let my daughter just walk off like that?

Derek: My daughter, Mimi. My daughter.

Greenlee: You been sniffing fireworks?

Ryan: What is the matter with you people?

Kendall: I heard you fighting.

Ryan: You know what?

Zach: Shh.

Ryan: It's none of your business. But just out of curiosity, what would my wife have done that I would have hurt her for? She had to do what exactly?

Greenlee: You have no idea what you're doing. None.

Zach: Easy. Let's just chalk it up to a misunderstanding, ok?

Ryan: No, no, wait. Stay. Stay. You burst in here, and you protect my wife from me! Now, why would you need to do that?

Kendall: Well, Ryan, look at yourself. You're not exactly the model to anger management.

Ryan: Fine, Kendall. But you said -- what you said was she had to do it. What does that mean? What did she have to do? What do you know that I don't?

Zach: Kendall cares for Greenlee. I know you got to respect that, right? And if she thinks she heard something --

Greenlee: I don't know what you think you heard, but Ryan and I were just disagreeing about something he's doing. Couples disagree sometimes.

Zach: It sounded a little more serious, that's all.

Ryan: Yeah, well, I guess it wasn't any of your business, was it?

Greenlee: You know what, right now we just want to celebrate Independence Day by being independent from overreacting people who try to save me from things that don't exist.

Kendall: Ok. All right, I'm sorry, ok? I went over the top.

Ryan: Well, I can't imagine that happening!

Kendall: Well, I -- I thought Greenlee, true to form, was doing something stupid again, so I ran over to defend her as a friend.

Greenlee: Hmm, let's see -- enemy, friend, Kendall. Hard to tell the difference. One paints your nails with one hand while the other pours polish in your drink.

Zach: I'm going to go get a funnel cake. Come on.

Kendall: Yeah, I'll join you. I thought you were supposed to stop me from screwing up.

Zach: Wasn't in my vows.

Ryan: I'm sorry, all right? I just -- I just wish that you could agree with me on this.

Greenlee: We have a habit of disagreeing lately.

Ryan: I had to do it. I had to make sure that I don't hurt anybody else.

Greenlee: You don't know if it'll work.

Ryan: David promised me that it would.

Greenlee: You're relying on some miracle drug for something that you can do yourself.

Ryan: Look, you saw me in that ring. You know that I needed to do this.

Greenlee: David's the one to help?

Ryan: It'll work. I know it'll work.

Greenlee: I don't want him treating you like some private guinea pig.

Ryan: Greenlee, I know what I'm doing.

Greenlee: If he hurts you, I --

Ryan: No, you see? You see? You see, that is what I love about you.

Greenlee: That I'm bent on cracking some skulls if anyone tries to hurt you?

Ryan: No. Actually, that you are so passionate about everything that you do, everything that you want. Right or wrong, you do it anyway.

Garret: You know, your piece in "Tempo," last year's June issue, on government-funded housing projects, was brilliant.

Brooke: Well, thank you so much.

Garret: I loved what you wrote about how subsidized units can really turn a neighborhood around.

Brooke: Well, I never thought my words would be used by a contract genius like yourself.

Jack: Especially not in the private sector.

Garret: Well, come see my work before you judge me, all right? You can do good and make money at the same time.

Brooke: Absolutely.

Lily: Hey, Dad, can me and Sam go hang out with Reggie and Dani?

Brooke: Uh, I think that would be ok.

Jack: Yeah, fine. Just remember, Lily has a curfew.

Sam: Oh, well, how could I forget?

Jack: Ok.

Brooke: All right, just be safe.

Sam: All right, see you.

Lily: Bye. Nice meeting you, Mr. Williams. I hope you're not as bad as Dani thinks.

Brooke: Oh. Ok.

Mimi: You know, I'd really like to congratulate you on the way you've raised our daughter in the last year.

Derek: I've done my best.

Mimi: Yeah, you have. And thanks to you and Livia, you've taken a nice but difficult child and turned her into a rotten diva who hates my guts.

[Soft rock plays]

Danielle: Well, I guess this will do.

Reggie: Yeah, this party look like it's going to be the spot in a couple seconds.

Danielle: Looks a little tame to me.

Reggie: Dani, are you ok?

Danielle: Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

Reggie: I'm just saying your mom -- she dropped a bomb on you back there.

Danielle: Oh, let's not talk about my mother.

Reggie: Ok. Did something else happen at the park?

Danielle: No, nothing.

Reggie: Dani, "nothing" -- "nothing" never got you this quiet before, so what's wrong now?

Danielle: Must be the music. I mean, is this a party or an elevator? I mean, I know these guys are older, but are they dead? Let's go turn this place up.

Ruth: Oh, boy. What's going to happen when Jamie and Babe get here? If things are this sour right now --

Opal: Yeah, and J.R. isn't exactly making lemonade.

Joe: Well, we're just going to have to put our trust in Dixie and hope that she can keep things down and prevent bloodletting.

Opal: Well, thank goodness there's a doctor in the house.

Tad: So --

Joe: Yeah?

Tad: Speaking as the official captain of the picnic focus group, how we doing?

Joe: Well, we give full marks to you, my friend. God knows it can't be easy.

Tad: Are you kidding? Who have I got to sleep with to get out of here?

Opal: So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Ruth: It has been known to happen.

Opal: I think a little walk to see the funnel cake man might be in order. What do you say?

Ruth: Good idea.

Di: Well, Little Adam sure is enjoying his first family picnic. Thank you. This means a lot.

Palmer: I want another wiener.

Adam: Hotdog.

Palmer: I want one. Go, go.

Adam: Better than this thing.

Joe: Ah, got some business.

Tad: Ah, here we go.

Joe: Here.

Tad: See what else you could complain about.

Adam: Did you make this last Wednesday?

[All talking at once]

J.R.: I almost forgot how incredible you are.

[Hip-hop music plays]

Lily: Um, Sam, did we -- did we lie to my dad about where we were going?

Sam: No, you said we were hanging out with Reggie and Dani.

Lily: Well, I don't see them anywhere here.

Sam: I'm sure they're here somewhere.

Lily: These people look a lot older than us.

Sam: Hey, you're fine. It's all good.

[Sam helps himself to a cold can of beer.]

Zach: Hey. Stop beating yourself up.

Kendall: Well, I almost blew it. I might as well have posted a notice in a chat room.

Zach: So what?

Kendall: "So what"? So she's my friend.

Zach: I know, and what do you think would be a good time to tell Ryan that his wife is trying to make him a father without him being aware of it?

Kendall: Well, he should at least hear it from her first.

Zach: If he doesn't hear it from anybody, he's still going to figure it out by the time she starts showing.

Kendall: You have some powdered sugar on your lip right there.

Zach: Thank you.

Kendall: So I don't know what to do. I mean, I tried to warn Greenlee about this for days, but she went through with the whole disaster. So now what? I mean, now I'm her enemy. I'm up there with bad highlights and carbs.

Zach: Are you hungry?

Kendall: Well, there's a switch.

Zach: I'm asking because you're going to have to eat your words.

Derek: Livia, can you come over here for a second?

Livia: Hit me.

Derek: I wanted you to say good night to Mimi, because we're out of here.

Livia: Police business?

Derek: Yeah. I'm preventing a homicide by leaving, so I don't strangle this woman out of her fancy new shoes.

Livia: I am right there with you. Just let me grab Tom. It's getting late. We really should be going.

Tom: Great seeing you guys. It's been fun.

Jack: Where are you guys going?

Derek: Good night, guys.

Livia: Good night, Jack, Brooke.

Derek: Good night.

Mimi: Garret, baby, I'm getting a wicked headache.

Jack: Look, just hold on a second, ok?

Brooke: Yeah. Freeze.

Jack: I know this wasn't the ideal holiday get-together here, but --

Brooke: But nobody's going to leave here with an attitude.

Jack: What she said.

[Hip-hop music plays]

Lily: I don't drink alcohol. It makes me really sick, and I'm not old enough to anyway.

Sam: Lily, no worries.

Lily: Can we go somewhere else, please?

Sam: Are you ok?

Lily: Yeah, it's just that there's a big crowd here, and in my Life Skills class I'm taught to remove myself from any situation I'm uncomfortable with.

Sam: Does that include me?

Lily: No, just --

Sam: Ok, well, let's go over here.


Reggie: Hey, whoa, whoa. Dani, slow down there, chick.

Danielle: Don't tell me what to do.

Reggie: I'm just saying you might need some food in your system with all the beer that you never drink.

Danielle: I'm not that hungry.

Reggie: Dani, I thought we were cool.

Danielle: We are.

Reggie: Well, if that were true, you would tell me what's going on with you.

Danielle: I told you I'm fine. I'm trying to have a little fun for a change!

Reggie: Ok, all right. There's no need to get all hostile with me.

Danielle: No need to be getting all up in my business, either. I'm actually feeling a hell of a lot better.

Reggie: I'm just saying with all the drama that you have going on in your life, you don't need to drink a beer and get smashed. It's not going to go away.

Danielle: Well, hopefully the next day you forget all about it. Isn't that what's supposed to happen?

Reggie: All right, Dani, I understand you're upset because your mama's new fiancé --

Danielle: Look, I'm as fine as anybody, anybody who's had a whole bunch of fun stuff dumped on them today.

Singers: Baby can't you see

[Hip-hop music plays]

Reggie: All right, all right. I'm going to be right back, all right? Just give me a second.

Danielle: Sure.

Josh and Danielle bump into each other: Excuse me.

Reggie: You got to be freaking kidding me! You actually think you was going to get away with this? Your first bad move was bringing my sister to this party. Now drop the beer.

Jack: Look, if you care about your kids, our kids, you'll find a way to work this out, because Reggie, Dani, Lily, Sam -- they don't care about our history. All they care about is right now.

Brooke: Yeah, and we're supposed to be the adults here.

Livia: Yeah, you could've fooled me.

Mimi: Well, don't look at me. I wanted this to work more than anyone.

Derek: Ok, I admit it. We can do better.

Livia: Yeah, we couldn't have done worse.


Mimi: Thank God.

Tom: Saved by the bang.

Greenlee: Some surprises are so wonderful, so special, they take careful planning. I'll tell you this one when the time is incredibly right. I promise you'll love it.

Ryan: As much as I love you.

Kendall: I ate some hotdogs and a funnel cake. I'm full. Eat your own words.

Zach: Now, whether you agree with her or not, you're going to have to tell her that she's doing the right thing and that you support her.

Kendall: Yeah, but I don't. Greenlee's going to have some bad karma for this one.

Zach: I know. But when her life blows up on her, as we know it will, she's going to need someplace to run. And that someplace should be you.

Kendall: Where did you learn this?

Zach: Well, we all need someplace to run when life blows up on us.

Palmer: Hey. I don't know what you've done now, but your mama asked me to tell you that she needs you in the pump house right now.

Tad: Let her stew in it. I've done more than any son should have to.

Palmer: Well, it's your funeral. If you don't, she'll haunt you till the end of your life. Believe me, I know.

Adam: Joe?

Joe: Yeah?

Adam: How do you do it?

Joe: Do what?

Adam: How are you so good, you know? Don't you ever -- don't you ever just want to kick back, do something self-serving and rotten?

Joe: I've tried, Adam. I'm just too damn virtuous.

Adam: Yeah.

J.R.: Well, where's the power tool? Or did you just get back from visiting Mama? Can't imagine too many fireworks in the slammer.

Babe: Jamie will be here soon.

J.R.: Good. That gives us a few minutes to settle some things.

Babe: You know, I just came to see my son. Don't you think we could actually put your issues on hold for one day?

J.R.: What proof do you have that my mother is a fraud?

Di: Are you sure we can see the fireworks better from here?

Ruth: Well, we'll have more privacy here, dear, and it'll be a little easier to hear each other talk, as well. Here, come on. Look. Look inside. See what you think.

Opal: Here. Hold tight, hold tight. Thanks. Oh. Well, our forefathers had it easy. All they had to do was found a country.

Ruth: God bless America.

[Di and Tad find themselves in the boathouse together.]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Babe (to J.R.): Your mama went through a lot of trouble to make this happen today, J.R. Don't you break her heart by doing something stupid.

Josh (to Dani): What are you thinking right now?

Danielle (to Josh): When are you going to kiss me?

Di (to Tad): You and me -- it's impossible, isn't it?

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