AMC Transcript Wednesday 6/22/05

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 6/22/05


By Suzanne
Proofread by

Erica: Hey, thank you, Jessica. This is going to be a wild ride, supervising producer of my show. You think you can handle it?

Josh: Not think -- know. You know it, too.

Erica: Even with renowned guests like fertility specialists, Dr. Greg Madden, your father?

Josh: Best way for you to see me in action -- stubborn guest, lots of quirks, and I can work him. It'll set the bar sky high for our future guests.

Erica: You're hired, on trial. One wrong move --

Josh: Never happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go meet my staff.

Kendall: Cheeky.

Erica: Charming.

Kendall: Well, he'd have to be both to keep up with you. So I guess I don't have the job anymore and I am off the hook.

Erica: No, you're not off the hook until you tell me how you actually met the charmer and what's really going on between you and Josh Madden.

Ryan: Nobody threatens my wife.

Greg: So you're the husband? You're the reason why she's done all of this.

Ryan: All of what?

Greenlee: What happened to you? Are you all right?

Ryan: Some guy shows up and wants to arrest my wife -- no, I'm not all right, and if I don't get an answer, like right now, he's not going to be all right, either.

Greenlee: It's nothing. He's leaving.

Greg: He's staying. And I suggest we all step inside and discuss this -- together.

Erica: Thank you.

Kendall: Yes, mother, we're having a torrid affair, me and what's his name. He's some guy I met through Greenlee.

Erica: Well, he said you met at a bank, and you seem to be sharing some kind of an inside joke. Oh, no. Oh, don't tell me that you met at his father's fertility clinic bank. Kendall, you wouldn't be thinking of having a child with Zach Slater, would you? Say it. Say it, Kendall. Tell me that you will not think of getting pregnant with him.

Zach: You shared the joyous news. Well, she's right. We're having a blessed event.

Jack: Don't mind us.

Lily: Dad. Sam's my boyfriend again. Isn't that great?

Reggie: Yeah, that's just peachy. How about your boyfriend and I just go to have a little --

Jack: Reggie, Reggie, I'll take care of this. Sam, let's you and me have a talk. What do you say?

Di: Have you lost your mind?

Tad: J.R., wait! You don't want to do that. I do.

David: Oh --

Babe: Come on, guys. This is a shock for him, too.

David: Comes right back, doesn't it, Martin? The memories? The pain, the love, the jealousy? Are you two --

Tad: No. No, no. That was just kind of a reflex, you know? I see you inflicting yourself on somebody, and my fist just starts flying around by itself.

David: So what happened? Did I jump to the front of the line, huh? Steal the first kiss? I mean, how could she come back to town and you not --

J.R.: Hands off my mother. Or next time you go down, you won't be getting back up.

David: Your mother, huh? So you buy it, too? I mean, the face, the voice, different? But those eyes and that kiss -- come on. Come on. What is this? I mean, is this some kind of a setup or something, some kind of a con?

Babe: Tad checked the fingerprints. The whole story, the details -- it all fits.

Di: It's me, David, but please, let me talk to my son right now.

David: What? No, wait a minute. What, you just float back into my life and you want me to just what, just walk away? Where have you been? Where -- when did you get back?

Di: It's complicated.

Babe: No, actually, she's been back for a while. Little Adam's nanny, the one that I told you about?

David: You came back for your grandson. We have a grandchild together -- your son, my daughter --

Di: I know that. He's a beautiful little boy.

David: The nanny? What, you didn't tell anybody? Me? J.R.? Not even Tad?

J.R.: Oh, come on, man. She doesn't owe you an explanation.

David: You trusted me when you left. I was the only one. You could have come to me.

Di: I had other things to take care of. I still do.

David: All right, so you come back to town with a new face, new name. Why tell us now?

Di: Tad found me. Now, he can fill you in on the details.

Tad: No. I lived it once. That's enough. You take it from here.

David: I'm not letting you go again, at least not until you tell me everything.

Jack: Lily, I'd like to speak to your boyfriend alone for a minute, if I could.

Sam: That's fine. We're good.

Reggie: Yeah, let's head out and give these two time to talk.

Lily: It won't be long, will it? We still have more practicing to do.

Jack: Just a few minutes.

Erica: How can you have a fake marriage and want a real child? Oh. Are you making another grab at your father's estate? Only Cambias grandchildren can inherit, so why not have a little heir?

Zach: It's not a bad idea. Why don't we go home?

Kendall: Ok, could you enjoy this a little less, please? Thank you. Mother, listen to me. Not even Brad Pitt could convince me to crank out a rug rat, trust me, never mind my not-so-loving husband. And, you -- a casino opening is not a blessed event.

Erica: Ok, swear to me. Kendall, swear to me that you will never have a baby with that.

Kendall: No, no, no, mother, no babies, no barf, no bootees, not now, not ever.

Zach: Yeah, you got plenty of time. Your clock hasn't even started ticking yet.

Erica: Oh, will you make the man stop talking.

Kendall: Why are you even here?

Zach: I missed you last night.

Kendall: He means at the casino, not in bed.

Erica: No, I was there. I didn't see you. It actually gave me hope. Now, my daughter has done her part. Your casinos are reopened. So why don't you just pretend you have a soul and let her out of this bogus marriage?

Zach: And make her a single mother?

Kendall: No, would you please be quiet?

Erica: You heard my daughter. Now, I have a show and a staff to run, if you'll excuse me.

Greenlee: Ryan, this is the doctor that I told you about. I went to him for help.

Greg: More than once and under false pretense --

Greenlee: It was a mistake. I know that now, and it's all over.

Ryan: Except here he is in our home accusing you of what, exactly?

Greenlee: A misunderstanding. It's all my fault. The doctor and I can discuss this calmly if you would just ease up for one tiny moment.

Greg: I'd be very happy to discuss it calmly. And this time we'll include your husband as we should have done the first time we met.

Ryan: Fine by me, because I'm not about to leave you alone with this gentleman.

Greenlee: You have to. Please. Don't make me do this in front of you. You say things to your doctor you expect to stay private.

Ryan: Yeah, so much for private. I mean, the doc shows up at our door.

Greg: I'm not her doctor. I refused to take her on as a patient, so there is no confidentiality, and I will not have my ethics compromised.

Greenlee: Please, just give us a sec, let me deal with this whole ethics thing, and then you and I can enjoy our day. It's ok, really.

Ryan: Ok. Fine, I'll go and get some take-out or something. You -- you watch your accusations.

Greg: Mr. Lavery, I really think you ought to stay here and listen to what I have to say.

Ryan: Well, my wife says otherwise, so you say what you have to say and then you get out of my home. And you call me if you need me.

Greenlee: Ok.

Ryan: All right?

Greenlee: Mm-hmm.

Greg: You stole your husband's donation vial. I want it back.


Kendall: So that's why you married me -- so you can freak my mother out for a good laugh and a half.

Zach: That's not the only reason. Where the hell were you last night?

Kendall: You're kidding me, right? You're going to play the wounded husband right now, because I didn't cling to your arm and coo what a big strong casino boss you are?

Zach: This is your casino, as well. It's business, just like our marriage. Now, you're in or you're out.

Kendall: I'm in, dutifully so. How much did I make last night?

Zach: Before or after Lavery lost it?

Kendall: Lost what?

Zach: You still care about him?

Greenlee: How'd you really lose my husband's sample? It didn't just grow legs and walk away. That was all there was left.

Greg: Spare me the fake indignation. Either we resolve this now or else you can speak to the police.

Greenlee: Hmm. You're in the paternal gene business. Let's play who's your daddy? Mine's a bigtime lawyer, remember? The former DA with tons of friends on the force.

Greg: Well, then I'm sure he'll be pleased to know what both his wife and his daughter have been up to. Erica came to me, too. She pleaded your case. As a compromise, I offered to set aside your husband's sample, so it wouldn't be used by any of our other clients.

Greenlee: So you have a shred of decency. You still blew it.

Greg: Someone tampered with the doorknob of the cryobank. When someone touched it, it came off in their hand. When I went into the bank later to separate your husband's sample, it was missing.

Greenlee: You had a break-in, and all they stole was Ryan's?

Greg: No. Three vials are missing.

Greenlee: Because I care about Joe Blow's thingies?

Greg: The three vials all had similar donor profiles, all matching your husband's.

Greenlee: Someone with good taste got greedy. Why run to me?

Greg: One person had a motive -- you. One person demanded to be impregnated without their husband's knowledge -- you. One person dressed up in disguise to commit fraud -- you. Now, give me back the vials.

Greenlee: Someone snagged my husband's product, and now you use me as a scapegoat? You've lost my husband's offspring. I should put you in jail.

Kendall: Ok, first, the opening and now Ryan. When you signed our marriage license, did you read the tiny little small print? See, it says you and me, business, and dollar signs. No feelings, no affection, no emotional confessions. So if you get all he-man jealous, you can kiss wifey good-bye.

Zach: You need to calm yourself down. I'm in no way interested in your romantic life. Why would -- is it me? I mean, why do people always think that I'm saying something that I'm not?

Kendall: Because you're always very clear and to the point and rarely ask stupid questions like "Do I still care about Ryan?"

Zach: Let me try again. Last night, Ryan lost his money, and then he lost his head, and he went after Ethan.

Kendall: Well, boys will be boys.

Zach: It wasn't a boy. It was an angry man ready to destroy anything that got in its path, and if he doesn't get a handle on it, someone's going to get hurt. Now, personally, I don't really care one way or the other. Question is, do you? You care enough about Ryan to help him -- yes or no?

Greenlee: My God, Ryan could have a zillion babies out there nine months from now. Has anyone contacted the other two donors? You better watch out, Doc. Your grass is about to get mowed down to the roots.

Greg: Do you think this ridiculous cover-up will get you anywhere?

Greenlee: You so much as say "boo" to my husband, mention me and vials in the same month -- never mind the same sentence -- I will bring the mother of all scandals down to baby central. "Dr. World-renown blah, blah, blah, blah, blah" will be front-page news. You'll have to hock your clinics for your malpractice suits.

Greg: Is anyone actually afraid of you?

Greenlee: Someone broke into your clinic. Word gets out, what woman will trust her womb to you?

Greg: A ridiculous lie does not change what you have done.

Greenlee: Is it worth your life's work to take me on?

Ryan: You're still here.

Greg: You have no idea what you're in for -- either one of you.

Greenlee: Mmm. That smells yummy.

Ryan: I know that face. I've seen that guy before.

Babe: So Tad had put it all together -- that Diana was really Dixie, and she'd come home.

David: Nice work, Tad. All the research you did on Dixieís accident, and she's changing diapers in your son's house.

J.R.: And all your trust, she still doesn't want to see your face.

Di: Don't speak for me, J.R.

David: She obviously didn't run home to you either, did she, Tad? No violins, no heartfelt reunion?

Tad: I don't think she wants to have anything to do with you either, so you're just going to have to find somebody else to drug.

David: Dixie -- the baby. Tell me about the baby.

J.R.: No way. You're not going to get another word out of her. We're done. You hear me?

David: You had no faith in her. You didn't think that she could carry a child to term. Well, if you two aren't together, does that mean a custody suit? My vote goes with a mother's love.

Di: David, stop it. You don't know what you're doing. There is no baby.

David: Oh, my God. Dixie -- you risked your life for that little girl. I'm so sorry.

Di: I can't talk about this, not right now, not with you.

David: She left because of you. If he didn't push you away, your daughter could be here today right now.

J.R.: All right, you're going in.

Tad: Throw him in, and I'll hold him under.

Di: Just stop it.

Babe: Will you just give him a quick second? He just found out all of this.

J.R.: Oh, well, it looks like you want to go in, too.

Babe: Oh, come on --

David: Don't threaten my daughter.

Babe: You know, let's just go now. Come on.

David: Dixie, we have a lot to talk about. Please, come and see me, all right?

Babe: Please.

J.R.: Go away.

Di: Oh -- I -- I am sorry. I mean, David's just a -- God, I'm -- I'm so sorry.

Tad: Why? He was always twisted. You finally just bothered to notice.

J.R.: Come on, Tad. She didn't come all the way back home to get a guilt trip about Hayward. Suck it up and move on.

Tad: Yeah, I'll do that.

Di: No, no, no, not like this. Don't go, Tad.

Jack: Sam, you know that Lily is special -- from the way she works to read a face to pick up cues, the way she can't stand red, to the way she needs a schedule to feel safe. Now, my point in all this is that you don't do her any favors if you ignore her condition. It's not a matter of being PC or cool or anything like that. She has a legitimate disorder and it needs to be considered.

Sam: Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Jack: Yes.

Sam: We don't just make out. We do talk. I know all about it. I mean, what you don't seem to understand is that we talk about a hell of a lot more than that. I mean, do you?

Jack: Sam, you would do well to remember that this conversation is about you and my daughter and whether I'm going to permit you to see her.

Sam: Well, what's your other option? I mean, lock her up? Put her in a bubble? Make sure she's Daddy's special little girl that never grows up? If that's the issue, then we're set, because Lily and I never do anything she doesn't want to do.

Jack: That's exactly what has me worried, Sam.

Lily: You think they're done yet?

Reggie: I don't hear any whimpering, so, no, not yet.

Lily: Ok, well, then we have some time. You said you wanted to explain to me dating cues?

Reggie: Yeah, there are some things that guys might try to pull on you that I need you to look out for, ok?

Lily: Thanks. They don't teach that in Life Skills.

Reggie: No, they don't. All right, let's get to the big stuff, like kissing. All right, if you have to, all right, I guess it's ok. But touching --

Lily: Touching is hard for me. I have to practice that a lot.

Reggie: Ok, if you're going to touch from the neck up, that's ok. From the neck down, no way. All right?

Lily: That rhymes, ok. Easy to remember. Anything else?

Reggie: All right, your clothes -- they never come off, ever, or open. That means buttons, belts, and especially zippers. No zippers.

Lily: But you took off Daniís blouse. Remember, I took pictures of it? Reggie, did you do something bad?

Josh: Tone it down. Nothing comes near that set that takes attention from our star.

Woman: Ok.

Erica: Hmm. I think I might have found the right person after all.

Greg: Erica, we have a problem.

Erica: Oh, no. You're not pulling out of the show?

Greg: No, not at all.

Erica: Thank heavens. Ok, anything else I can handle. So what's the problem?

Greg: That favor you asked for a friend -- well, there's been a hitch. I -- Josh. What are you doing?

Josh: Trying to find a new soundboard.

Greg: This is a joke. Are you trying to annoy me?

Erica: Well, now, no one could be annoyed at my new producer on his first day.

Greg: New -- he hasn't had a day's experience in television in his life.

Erica: Which makes him very fresh and exciting and also very much on trial, which he knows. But I believe that Josh and I are on the same page, and I think Josh has the goods.

Greg: No, this is absurd. He'll play superstar for one day, then within a week, it'll be over. That's what he does.

Josh: Miss Kane was never my boss before. That changes everything.

Greg: Don't waste your time, Josh, and please don't waste the time of other people. Now, walk away now.

Josh: I'll have my girl call your girl about your segment. I have a girl, don't I?

Erica: You may hire an assistant. The gender is your choice.

Greg: I need to ask you a favor. Fire my son now.

Ryan: Hey, do you want me to report that guy to the medical board, because he's got to be some sort of a quack --

Greenlee: Ah, no.

Ryan: To show up here.

Greenlee: Ignore him. Attack of the killer ego. He went off on me, because I wasn't respecting the process. Evidently, the sharing police want to lock me up.

Ryan: Well, sometimes sharing is overrated.

Greenlee: Hmm? You bite a pepper?

Ryan: That guy's not a shrink. He's a fertility doctor.

Kendall: I care about Ryan and his wife. You happy?

Zach: I'm giddy. Look at me.

Kendall: I will talk to him. We'll sort this whole thing out.

Zach: You'll talk to him?

Kendall: Yes.

Zach: Good. Now, that'll fix what's broken. Good, you talk to him.

Kendall: No, what is your brilliant idea?

Zach: Well, it's not talking. I tried that, and it didn't work.

Kendall: Ok, what's going on with you? Since when are you save-the-world Slater? Is the tin man cruising for a heart?

Zach: My only concern in this is you. And if you keep running that big mouth of yours, maybe I'll change my mind. How about that? I'm asking you a question. Is Ryan Lavery worth saving, yes or no?

Kendall: Save him from what? What do you know?

Ryan: He's a celeb fertility doctor. I've seen him on TV. You went to him and you kept it from me?

Greenlee: It was an impulse. Ok? I needed info. I wanted to see if what you had done was reversible.

Ryan: But you know the answer to that. I mean, we've talked about it. It's irrelevant.

Greenlee: I went for me, too, to see if I was even fertile. If I'm not, then I was having all those feelings for no reason.

Ryan: But there's -- there's got to be more. I mean, the guy shows up here, and he wants to put you in prison. What did you possibly do to tick him off?

Greg: Well, you could find somebody with more experience. You see, the thing with Josh is he never digs in. He never likes to do the work. It's all flash and fun, and then he's on to the next fad.

Erica: Well, maybe he's never had a proper challenge. I assure you he will find it here with me.

Greg: Well, I would rather he found it with me in medicine. Well, Erica, you're a parent. You understand what the pull is, the need to have them close so that you can help them to flourish. It breaks my heart when I see him wandering around like this.

Erica: But what about Josh's heart? I mean, if I were to fire him --

Greg: If you do this for me, I would be prepared to overlook what your stepdaughter has done.

Erica: We've been through that already.

Greg: Yes, but she's taken it one step further. She made a very stupid mistake, the kind of mistake that could land her in jail.

Jack: Sam, Lily has no idea what it means to have a real boyfriend, and I just don't think a teenage boy should be the one to teach her.

Lily: Dani was wearing a blouse with six green buttons undone.

Reggie: Yeah. I guess I did kind of unbutton Daniís blouse a little bit.

Lily: And you were wrong to do that.

Reggie: I'm a guy, ok? And it's my manly duties as a guy to -- to be bad. It's the girl's job to stop that from happening.

Lily: So Dani was bad for allowing that to happen?

Reggie: Lily, you're killing me here. Not -- no, no, you're not killing me. Let's read them, ok?

Lily: Ok. "No clothes come off, ever, no touching below the neck, no buttons, no zippers."

Reggie: And when do you call my cell?

Lily: If Sam asks for a back rub or if I see anyone doing drugs or if the touching rule is broken.

Reggie: Yeah. That's everything. I guess. I guess you're as ready as you'll ever be.

Sam: Aren't you going to tell me you know where I live, and you know plenty of guys who'd be happy to break my legs?

Jack: I would never say that, Sam, however true it may be.

Sam: Lily is safe with me.

Lily: Reggie explained everything to me. Could we go on our date now, please?

David: Unbelievable.

Babe: I know. I mean, J.R.ís mama, the nanny? This is absolutely crazy.

David: It's fantastic. To Dixieís return.

Babe: Ok, wait, are you even ok? You got that weird, wild look in your eye.

David: Sweetheart, we just got slapped in the face with a major miracle. I mean, come on, you saw the look in Martin's eyes. He and J.R. both buy into this. Dixie is back in the flesh.

Babe: Look, Daddy, I know that you and Dixie, you guys -- are you ok with all this?

David: Babe, don't I look ok? What's the matter? You don't want in on Pine Valleyís newest miracle?

Babe: It's Mama. Is all this going to be good for her, or is she going to lose Tad?

David: Dixie go back to that slack-jawed lump of a Martin? If I have my way -- and I will -- Tad and Dixieís going to be the one thing that does stay dead and buried.

Di: I didn't want to believe that you two had drifted so far apart. Together Forever was your dream, too, not just mine.

J.R.: You left. Things change.

Di: I betrayed you, with David, with how I came back. I carry my fair share of the blame.

Tad: Is that why it took you so long to come home, because you were lugging that guilt all over Europe? Must have been a real problem getting connecting flights.

J.R.: You wanted her back just as much as I did. Either act like it or shut up!

Di: J.R., stop it. It's me you should be angry with, not Tad. Now, I can't undo everything I've done, but if I could find a way to help you guys bring --

J.R.: No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, it's never going to happen, Mom.

Tad: See what a warm, generous person he grew into when you were gone? I'm so sorry you missed it.

Di: J.R., I let you believe someone was dead, too. Now, you've hugged me, and you've called me Mom. It's forgiveness, J.R. can't you do the same for Tad?

J.R.: You fell off the side of a mountain. You went through surgery, therapy. You found your way home. He looked me in the eye and told me that my infant son was dead. He decided that I wasn't good enough to raise him and gave my son to his son, the one he really loves. That's what Tad did while you were gone.

Winifred: I'm so sorry to bring him back, but he was so fussy and he wanted to see his daddy, crying for his father.

J.R.: Aw. Well, Daddy will take of him. Oh, come here, buddy. You coming home?

Di: Yeah, just a little while longer. I'll meet you there.

J.R.: All right. This way.

Tad: Do us all a favor. Knock it off. Either that or get on a plane and go right back to wherever it is you came from. What the hell you think is going on here? What do you think this is, some kind of boo-boo you can kiss and make better? That you can send us off to father-and-son bingo night and everything was going to be just fine?

Di: You two need each other, Tad. I had to start somewhere.

Tad: Why? Why do you have to do anything? Hell, why not do it in three years. Do it in another 30. Think about all the total disasters you could swoop in and fix.

Di: I can't ask you to forgive me.

Tad: Can't or won't? Either way, it doesn't matter, because I don't think the knife twisting in my gut's going to disappear anytime soon.

Di: Just forget about me and all this --

Tad: I've tried, remember? It didn't take. But if you insist, I'll give it another shot.

Di: You love J.R., Tad. I know you do.

Tad: Doesn't matter anymore. A lot's happened since you've been gone, and God knows I could have used your help, but I didn't get it. So I tell you what. You go back to that house and you hover over your grown son. Whatever you do, you leave me out of any more of your miracles.

Di: Oh, God, you could always be such a stubborn jerk, but you have gone above and beyond.

Tad: You don't get it. Three years didn't just change you. It changed all of us. And something tells me that none of us is going back to the way we were.

Babe: Tad and Dixie -- they were bigtime true love. I mean, what makes you think that they're not just going to get back at it?

David: One of Pine Valleyís greatest fallacies -- Tad and Dixie equals forever. Please. They swung by a divorce court three separate times over the years. And even when they were together, it wasn't exactly hallowed ground.

Babe: You didn't just have an affair. You really loved her.

David: Yes, I did, very much. It was huge for both of us.

Babe: Do you love her now?

David: I love you. You're my daughter, my priority, you and my grandson.

Babe: Who's also Dixieís grandson, who's J.R.ís mama, who's the nanny. This whole thing -- it absolutely blows my mind.

David: Has Dixie -- I mean, has Diana -- has she offered to help you out in any way with Little Adam? You know, like maybe get you some extra time with him or anything?

Babe: Come on, I am your daughter, but I'm also her son's ex-wife. That woman, she came down on me like an 800-pound mama gorilla. According to her, I'm the root of all of J.R.ís evil.

David: She did what? She had no business doing that.

Babe: Oh, come on. I hijacked her grandson. You can't exactly expect her to call me sweetie and hand me my son.

David: She damn well better if I have anything to say about it. Look, don't worry, I'm going to take care of this.

Babe: Oh, no, no, no. You are not taking care of anything. Anytime you say that, it means we should all just dive and duck for cover. You mess with J.R.ís mama, he whips out his revenge handbook, and he beats me with it.

David: No, let's just relax, ok? I'll calm down, and I'm in for the night, so it's ok. Take it easy.

Babe: Really?

David: Look, why don't you just go home and go see Jamie, ok?

Babe: Are you sure?

David: Yes, I am sure. I'm perfectly fine, and you have nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be great, for all of us.

Jack: So you will take the bus to BJís, you will go to the movie, you will take the bus directly back here, and you will be in this door by 11:00, yes?

Lily: Right. We'll spend 105 minutes at the movies, 45 minutes at BJís, 13 minutes on the bus both ways. According to my schedule, we'll be done at 10:50, and that leaves 10 minutes for us to practice our kissing.

Sam: Sounds like a plan.

Jack: Have a good time -- within reason.

Sam: Back by 11:00, sir.

Lily: Bye, Dad.

Jack: Well, there goes our little girl.

Reggie: Yeah.

Jack: Reggie?

Reggie: What?

Jack: Where do you think you're going?

Reggie: It's hot out, all right? Young kids -- trust me, I'll be your eyes and ears.

Kendall: If you won't tell me what's up with Ryan, then that's it, I'm out of here.

Zach: Ryan is going to kill someone if he doesn't get help soon.

Kendall: Why, because he wouldn't listen to you, and he went off on Ethan? I mean, come on, Zach. Who can blame him?

Zach: No. Because there was a body on his living room floor.

Kendall: A body? As in dead?

Zach: No, unfortunately. It was David Hayward, and like all cockroaches, he's going to be fine. Next time, I don't know. Your ex-boyfriend's got some anger issues.

Kendall: Oh, well, I can't imagine why. He only had a psycho killer go after him and his wife, who just happened to be his own brother. If you had to put a bullet into Michael, wouldn't you have some major anger issues?

Zach: And I would like to thank the evening news for the update. Thank you. How does that help your friend?

Kendall: It doesn't, but it makes me feel better. And didn't you say I was your prime concern?

Zach: You don't want to listen, I'm not going to bother.

Kendall: Ok, wait, stop, stop, Zach. Wait a minute, please. I'm listening.

Zach: I think you need to know what it is that Ryan does when he thinks no one is looking.

Ryan: Did you go to the clinic to find a donor?

Greenlee: No. Not at first. I wanted to explore my options, so I went in with a fake name and a disguise.

Ryan: This is insane.

Greenlee: Dr. Ballistic figured it out, and I'm a snake, a fraud, an insult to the baby business. That was his polite way of warning me never to come back.

Ryan: Which you would never have done anyway, right?

Greenlee: I'm into name brands, not generics. I'm done with that place.

Ryan: Look, I know it hurts, never having a baby. I know it was your dream, and you can't expect it to go away overnight, and don't think you have to hold your feelings from me. But you know that an anonymous donor is not going to work for us. You know that, right?

Greenlee: Oh, I know that. I swear on my love, on my life for you, I don't want to have a baby with anyone but you.

Erica: So you think Greenlee stole Ryan's --

Greg: It's the only explanation. You really have to try to get through to your stepdaughter, you know. She can't keep taking things into her own hands.

Erica: But you spoke to her, and she denied it. What more can I do?

Greg: Well, you certainly have a very cavalier attitude about the creation of a life. My son says he understands you. I don't. How could he?

Erica: Exactly how did this all become about me? And why are you so determined that your son not work for me?

Jack: Look, Reggie, we cannot selectively mainstream. We can't trust Lily in one area and not in another. You understand what I'm saying? She's earned our trust. She's earned the right to live like any other teenage girl, even though it might give us nightmares and what I'm sure is the beginning of an ulcer.

Reggie: All right, I trust Lily, ok? I do. It's that Sam guy that takes all of two seconds for him to forget her schedule.

Jack: Lily does not get off schedule.

Reggie: J, there's always a first time for everything. You ever think of that?

Erica: Greg, I've been where you are -- run my children's lives, been devastated when things didn't turn out the way I planned. But no matter how much we want them to do what we want them to do, often they don't. But if we let them find their own way, they might even thank us. Greg, I won't fire your son.

Kendall: If this is true --

Zach: It's true.

Kendall: Ryan's going to get himself killed.

Zach: I think that's the point.

Greenlee: Now will you tell me what happened?

Ryan: The bike got the worst, ok? I'm going to be fine.

Greenlee: You promise? Because if you're not --

Ryan: I'm going to be fine, I am.

Greenlee: I need you to be ok, Ryan.

Ryan: Why don't we do something new, all right? Why don't I take you to a hotel, and we just have room service and in-room massages and relax? I just want to -- I want to take care of you.

Greenlee: We'll go away soon. I need time, you know, until then.

Ryan: Anything you want.

Greenlee: Anything I want.

David: Ah.

Di: You nasty SOB.

David: Here it comes.

Di: You -- you couldn't help it, could you? You just had to make Tad suffer, had to bring up the baby he lost?

David: Did they doubt me? Did they think I lied? No.

Di: Oh --

David: I played my part. I was exactly the guy they expected me to be.

Di: Mm-hmm -- rotten to the core. Now you've come back here to toast your triumph.

David: Don't get all self-righteous on me, Dixie. And what is this nonsense I hear about you sticking it to my daughter, blaming her for that piece of trash J.R.?

Di: I'm J.R.ís mother. I mean, how convincing would I be if I just grabbed his cheating ex-wife for a big hug and a kiss? I mean, everything in me said to let her have it.

David: You don't get to blow me off, sweetheart. That is not part of the deal.

[Door slams]

J.R.: What deal is that?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Kendall (to Zach): Either help me save Ryan or you stay out of my way.

Krystal (to Tad): We need to talk about Dixie.

Jamie: What are you studying, anyway?

Amanda: Anatomy. You want to tell me what you know about this body?

Ethan (to Simone): Hello, gorgeous.

David (to Di): You can thank me now. [Di slaps David.]

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