All My Children Transcript Monday 6/20/05
Proofread by Gisele
Aidan: So you want to hire me?
Amanda: I have money. Not much, but should be enough.
Aidan: To protect you from me?
Amanda: Heard you're the best. That's what I need.
Aidan: Huh. And I thought I was gentleman.
Amanda: The perfect gentleman.
Aidan: So how exactly am I a danger to you, then?
Amanda: You could make me fall in love with you.
Adam: Well, one hair and a phony story. You can't really believe this nanny is your mother.
J.R.: You don't want to believe it, I don't want to hear it.
Adam: Well, once again, it seems I am the sole voice of reason in this household. You will -- you'll understand, of course, we'll have to hold back on the fireworks until we have irrefutable proof, Diana.
J.R.: No. There's not going to be any
tests or any doubts. By the way, Dad, her name's
Woman: Welcome, Erica.
Erica: Thank you. Oh -- oh, no, no, no. Ok, yes, go on. It's so nice. Thank you. And thank you all for joining me in this wonderful adventure. This is not just my new beginning. This is ours.
Erica: Yes, let's make it fabulous! Val!
Erica: Oh, hi!
Val: Look at you.
Val: You look incredible.
Erica: Thank you. You, too.
Val: Hard work becomes you.
Erica: Well, thank you. Uh-oh, that sounds like a warning. How hard do you mean? Come on, I can take it.
Val: Well, you've got back to backs all day long. Clearly, your office isn't finished yet, and you cannot eat until you find a supervising producer for this show.
Erica: Eat? I won't even breathe. I mean, Val, we need a superstar producer if we're going to compete with Oprah and Barbara for guests like Dr. Greg Madden.
Greg: So you just show up unannounced? I thought we were decided.
Josh: I miss you, too, Dad. How about a hug?
Greg: That job in
Josh: Awesome, really. Other than being
incredibly boring and not my speed. I thought I'd swing to
[Greg notices the disassembled doorknob on the floor.]
Greg: Well, how did -- what's going on? Who's in there?
[Ryan stands over David's unconscious body.]
Zach: What do you say we bury him at the dump? Oh, man, he's still moving. Here I thought you finally did something right, Lavery.
David: You sick son of a bitch! You could have killed me!
Zach: Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Ryan: Will you shut up? Shut up and get out!
David: You and your brothers -- psychos, all of you. Well, at least one Lavery's going to end up doing time -- for attempted murder.
Ryan: Fine, do whatever you got to do. Go call the cops, just get out!
David: Well, look, I wouldn't start celebrating yet, Lavery, because I'm going to be back with Derek and as many cops as I can find with a record of police brutality!
Zach: I've got to ask you, do they take you seriously down at the police station? Do they?
David: You saw me lying on the floor! And with him with that lunatic look in his eyes!
Zach: Yeah, I did see that. Lavery grabbed you. But he had no choice, because you were holding that needle. And they do know you have a thing for hypos, right?
David: Oh, come on, give me a break. What the hell is this? Since when did you two become a team?
Josh: Sometimes I just don't know my own strength.
Greg: You did this?
Josh: Place was empty. You know I'm a sucker for sci-fi nitro tanks. I tried the handle. It fell apart in my hands. Hope you didn't pay too much for this place, Dad. It's bubblegum and Popsicle sticks.
Greg: This place is not a playground for your amusement, young man.
Josh: I bet there are some really fun magazines in the backroom.
Greg: You should have called me at home, not just shown up here like that. Did you disturb anything in here?
Josh: Never got the chance. You showed up too soon. Nothing says a good time like swapping labels on the frozen stash. Hilarity ensues.
Greg: I guess I will never understand
where you got that sense of humor. Come to my office. Give me the chance to
talk you into taking that job in
Josh: Can't leave the bank vault unprotected. Babies will pop up like weeds.
Simone: Oh, so -- so the cute boy didn't rat us out.
Greenlee: Yeah, well, guns, knives -- whatever they throw at us -- take one for the team and throw yourself on top of the cooler.
Simone: Do you think he likes us? I mean, because he didn't turn us in? And of course, when I say "us" I mean "me."
Greenlee: Talk to him. Ask him out. Whatever. Don't you think we should get out of here right now?
Man: New Beginnings and Erica Kane. Genius, pure genius. I mean, who's reinvented themselves more times than Madonna? Without wearing underwear as outerwear or changing her name to Esther? But you know what you need to make pure genius extra-pure genius? Me. Me and you, a team, ok? And I swear to you right now -- in front of your right-hand, Vic -- I'm going to make Erica Kane a household name. I mean, you already are a household name. But even bigger. Like Martha Stewart -- without the ankle bracelet.
Woman: All right, I'm thinking bad-ass chick smacking down the ho who stole her man, all right? Like total bitch-fight at EK Central. No warm fuzzies, no PC BS. This is your catch phrase. "You suck. Get a life." I'm thinking hats and T-shirts. And I get 50% of the take.
Second woman: Lies. My whole résumé. I never worked on TV. I work at the make-up counter down at the mall. But I saw your ad in the paper, and I had to come. You're my idol. Can I get an autograph -- here?
Man: If I take the gig, I get creative control, right? We go handheld, 16 cameras. You know what the new demo for daytime should be? Teenage boys. And what do teenage boys want? Live band, hot babes. Hot pants. Thigh-high leather boots. You want hot? That's hot. Can someone get me a beer?
Adam: It's a dream. Let it go.
J.R.: No, this -- this is my mother.
Adam: Like Miranda was your daughter? You were so sure, when the facts said otherwise.
J.R.: You're right, Dad. I lost my daughter. I got my son back. Can't trust emotions. Have to trust the facts. Well, the facts are saying that this is my mother, so here I am believing. Why do you have a problem with that?
Adam: Well, what facts? What facts? The
made-up facts from
J.R.: So you can rig it? So you can prove that she's not my mother? You didn't want me with her then. You don't want me with her now!
Adam: Son, if by some miracle your mother came back from the dead, I wouldn't stand in your way. But this stranger is an insult to your mother's memory.
J.R.: No, no, no! Don't even act like you give a damn about her.
Di: Stop it! Don't do this to each other. This is not why I came back.
Adam: Oh, yes. Stick with the plan. Pretend this isn't a con that Martin rigged up to get between me and my son.
Di: Our son, Adam. You always forgot that part -- our son.
Adam: Rubbish. Lies and rubbish.
Di: I want to explain. I want you to fully understand what I did, and why.
Adam: Will you name your price and get out of my house?
J.R.: Shut up! If you refuse to accept my mother, you can go to hell. It's all right, Mom. Welcome home.
Aidan: You know, real clients with real needs -- those, I take seriously.
Amanda: Oh, and here I thought this outfit made me look very serious.
Aidan: So me and love -- that's -- that's a threat to you how?
Amanda: I don't do love, ok? Never have and never will.
Aidan: Well --
Amanda: It's not my thing, and I don't plan on starting now.
Aidan: That's kind of cynical for a beautiful woman.
Amanda: Cynical or smart? I've seen people in love. All devoted and intense, suicide pacts. You know, what's left in the end? Tattoos to laser off, photos to shred. Love ruins perfectly good friendships and takes all the fun out of sex. Tragic side effects, especially that last one. Ooh. Tools of the trade? Aidan Devane, private dick.
Aidan: You know, you don't seem like the black-and-white movie type.
Amanda: What type do I seem?
Aidan: And we prefer "private investigator."
Amanda: Oh. Will you investigate my case, privately?
Aidan: That's not really my specialty.
Amanda: You can't just turn me away -- when I need you. Hmm. Don't you have a code or something? An oath to take my money and make me stop shivering?
Aidan: You know what? You save your money, because I can solve your problems right now.
Amanda: Hmm, so fast. I guess they were right. You are the best. Solved my case already. So, tell me, how do you plan on saving me from you and love?
Amanda: I'm waiting.
Aidan: Don't fall in love with me, and I won't fall in love with you.
Amanda: Oh, some of us aren't so strong, can't resist the urge.
Aidan: You'll manage. I have faith.
Amanda: You haven't looked in a mirror lately, have you? The full-length kind. You love your work, don't you?
Aidan: Well, yeah. It keeps me off the streets and out of trouble.
Amanda: Well, they can't all be daredevil-save-the-world assignments. You must get the smutty cases sometimes. "Snuckems is cheating on me. Nail the lying sleazoid to the wall."
Aidan: Cases are confidential. Even ones with funny names like Snuckems.
Amanda: You gather the evidence, build the case?
Aidan: Well, yeah. Surveillance is -- it's part of the job.
Amanda: Digital pictures. Maybe even movies? Tell me, Aidan, do you like to watch?
Anita: Sounds like I just missed the punch line.
Amanda: Oh. An I-guess-you-had-to-be-there moment. You must be the girlfriend. I'm Amanda.
Aidan: Yeah, Anita, Amanda.
Anita: Did I interrupt business?
Amanda: Oh, nothing that can't be taken care of later. He really is the best. Feel better already.
Adam: J.R., I understand why you want to believe this.
J.R.: Yeah. But I'm a sucker, right? And you know better. And I'm wrong.
Adam: No, no. Just -- just hold off until we have time to get some concrete proof.
J.R.: No, Dad, I've waited three years. Three years. I know everything that I need to know.
Adam: No, I was there, son, the last time you clung to a lie that cut you to the bone. And I will never let anyone hurt you like that again.
J.R.: Unless you can take the credit.
Di: Enough! From both of you. Can you just stop for a minute? J.R., you -- you're my world. You always have been, and you always will be. Now, I did not come back just to set you two at each other's throats.
J.R.: I've had it!
Di: Somewhere in that wall safe he calls a heart, your father cares about you. Give me any test you got. It doesn't matter. This is my son.
Adam: There. It's settled. Next stop, DNA test.
J.R.: He hasn't changed. You come back, he still fights like hell to come between us.
Di: Thank you. After all this time, all the hurt, you still believe in me.
Greenlee: Yo! Dr. Strangelove, it's showtime.
Simone: Ok, so he's going to tell you what vial makes baby Ryans, and then wham, bam, you're preggers, ma'am?
Greenlee: David? How can he not be here?
Simone: What, does the man have no priorities?
Greenlee: Thank you, Simone. You were incredible.
Greenlee: You did something completely over the edge, and you didn't get arrested.
Simone: I know!
Greenlee: You blossomed.
Simone: Oh, you noticed?
Greenlee: I did. And I love you.
Simone: Thank -- oh.
Greenlee: But please never wear that outfit again.
Simone: You'd be surprised. It comes in handy. So, what's next? We pop those puppies in the freezer and wait for David to come home?
Greenlee: You're off the clock, missy.
Simone: All right, then. Excuse me. I'm going to go home, freshen up. You know what? You're going to be a fantastic mom. Really. I can't wait to revel in our success. Bye.
Greenlee: I can hear it. The silence rolling off you in waves.
Greenlee: Yeah, that's what I just said. Ok. Go ahead. I can take it. You defended me to the big doc's son, but you're just dying to tell me how wrong I am.
Greenlee: I knew it. You planned to rat me out to Ryan.
David: You copped to a murder you didn't commit. And, you -- you ignored your lunatic brother until he blew himself to bits. For once in my life, I will be the guy the cops actually do believe.
Zach: Let's give it a shot. Can I use your phone? It's just a local call.
David: All right, so what happened here? When did you two guys become a buddy movie gone wrong?
Zach: What's wrong with your voice? You sound like me. You should go see a doctor maybe.
David: You've always been a chest-thumping jerk, but now you're over the edge. Well, you better get a grip on your issues before I go to my private lab and get a grip for you.
Zach: You think it's a smart idea to threaten a large angry man right now?
David: You go all Jonathan on Greenlee, and that's not going to be a threat, it's going to be a promise. Soon she's going to see you for what you really are, and she's going to run like hell.
Ryan: In my face, on my side? What is this? What's your angle?
Zach: I dislike you, but I hate him.
Ryan: Well, he's gone, and you're still here.
Zach: It's a courtesy call. Came to say you got 48 hours to make good on the marker you lost to me last night.
Ryan: Oh. Well, I'll get my checkbook.
Zach: I'm only kidding. I mean, seeing
Ryan: I don't need your charity, Zach. I pay my debts. So if that's all --
Zach: It's not. I got some advice for you. And a warning.
Aidan: All right, you want to fill me in on what's got you so mad?
Anita: The way you laugh it up when a girl comes on to you. You just love that variety, don't you, Aidan? Young and younger. Amanda and Lily. Am I leaving anyone out?
Aidan: You know what? Maybe you should just relax a little and pull back.
Anita: Or maybe I could just pull up a seat and enjoy the show. Aidan Devane and his female cast of thousands.
Aidan: Oh, come on, don't do this.
Anita: Don't what? Don't mention it? Don't notice? Don't care that a girl winks at you and you can't get enough of it? I'm just supposed to sit here and take it? Is that who you think I am?
Aidan: Well, who do you think I am? Take a good look. I'm not Bobby.
Di: You've changed your hair.
J.R.: And you've changed even more. But you're here. You're home.
Di: Wherever you are is home. Where -- where do we go from here?
J.R.: I don't know. I don't really know where to begin. It's like I just got you back. But even more.
Di: You're a man now. And you have a beautiful son. I want to get to know you both.
J.R.: I've told him about you since the day that he was born. You know how he took to you right away? It's because he knew. He knew who you were already.
Di: Hmm. Well, I think my grandson and I need a date in the park.
Di: You want to tag along?
Amanda: Aw. Cue the violins and excuse me while I puke.
Erica: I don't know, Val. Are my expectations too high? Hot pants?
Val: Smack-down hos?
Erica: Val, tell me. Tell me you have him or her just waiting right outside. The supervising producer who will take this show where we need to go. Please, tell me you've saved the best for last.
Val: I did. You just saw them.
Erica: Well, ok. Enough moaning, wallowing. Producer or no, we have got to take this show where it needs to be. We have to get this show in gear. So, I want you to tell the researchers that I want a pitch session by the end of the day. Ten show ideas and guests per person. Oh, Dr. Madden. Hello. Oh, my goodness. Val, this is Dr. Greg Madden. This is the premier fertility specialist I was telling you about.
Val: She's a big fan of yours.
Greg: Well, as I am of hers. So I take it your invitation still stands?
Erica: You'll come on the show?
Greg: I would be honored.
Erica: Oh, Doctor -- you are the answer to a woman's prayers.
Greenlee: I knew I couldn't count on you.
Greenlee: You won't tell Ryan, but you'll make me miserable every step of the way. Go on about risks and warnings.
Greenlee: That's the point -- to give my husband a miracle.
Greenlee: So you don't want to be godmother. I'll find a way to deal.
Greenlee: You want a crash course in baby science? When an egg and sperm love each other very much --
Greenlee: I love Ryan, like I thought I'd never love again. He needs help. So do I watch him lose himself, or do I do whatever it takes to remind him who he is?
Greenlee: Blows up in my face? What's worse than losing the man I love again? Nothing. I know, because I've lived it. So, yeah, it's a risk. But I know who I am and what I can handle. And so this is it. I'm in all the way.
Ryan: You tear up my marker, and I have to listen to you? I told you, Zach, I pay my debts, so you can go now.
Ryan: So you came here to flex? To tell me to back off your wife?
Zach: Ahem -- you went off on her at the casino as if she were some dog that you can kick around whenever you want. And I know she gives you a little slack for your troubles. I won't.
Ryan: So, this is the warning part of the conversation?
Zach: Next time you see her, treat her with respect.
Ryan: Now, I -- it's kind of -- it's kind of funny to me, because here they say that you have no sense of humor, and this is Zach Slater giving me advice on how to treat a lady. Hey, what's next? Are you going to write a book about father-son bonding? Are you?
Zach: The next time you see her, treat her with respect.
Ryan: I lost my temper. Yes, I hear you.
And from this point on,
Zach: I know where you go some nights. I know what you do, and I know who you do it with. I know where you go. One of my high rollers shares your taste for entertainment.
Zach: Mm-hmm. He recognized you at the casino and then after a couple of drinks, that's all he wanted to talk about.
Ryan: So -- so wait a minute. A drunk at your casino says he knows me, and you're going to listen to that?
Zach: That place you go to find a way out,
to find a release -- how's that working for you? Judging by that scene with
Erica: So was it the buzz on the streets? Was it the article in "The New York Times"? What? What convinced you to do my show?
Greg: Well, more women and couples are pursuing fertility treatments these days than ever, and there's a lot of misinformation out there about what can and cannot be done. Women are falling prey to con artists and frauds. I'd like to clear that up, and I think your show will be the perfect forum.
Erica: Thank you. You are absolutely right, truly. If you want to spread the word, New Beginnings is the place, and I assure you that our entire production staff will treat this topic with intelligence and with care.
Greg: Then I look forward to meeting with your producer very soon.
Erica: Yes, my producer -- absolutely, ASAP. Or ESP. Dr. Greg Madden, I'd like you to meet my daughter Kendall Hart.
Amanda: So, nanny was Mommy all along. "Hi, it's me" was a little too predictable, huh?
J.R.: I thought Jamie hauled you and all your stuff out of here already.
Amanda: My mom is famous for being unstable, but this stunt of yours -- oh. And I thought the glare from your halo was Day-Glo bright -- hmm. So tell me, you know, who goes on the lam for three years for a nip and tuck?
J.R.: Get out of my house -- now.
Di: You know what? I'm going to go dress Little Adam for the park.
J.R.: That woman is my mother. And I get one more smart-ass remark out of you, our deal's off. You can kiss your meal ticket good-bye.
Amanda: Oh, come on, J.R., you're loaded.
You can support Mommy and me. Oh, not that you have much of a choice -- you
know, since we're so tight in this, wrapped up together? There is no telling
where I end and you begin.
J.R.: You really want to play this game with me?
Amanda: Ooh, I know -- you be Colonel Mustard, and I'll be Miss Scarlet. It happened in the parlor with the --
J.R.: Crowbar. You know, your cute little act got real stale right after you lifted 10-K out of the safe.
Amanda: How long since you saw her? Three
J.R.: You need to keep your mouth shut -- unless you're seducing Jamie away from Babe.
Amanda: Oh, it's so hot the way you rule the world. I'll do as you say, master, but one little problem -- I want more money. Lots.
Anita: Oh, gosh. I thought I was done with her when Bobby left. That Anita that was suspicious and tense and -- I am so sorry.
Aidan: Listen, it's all right, you know? It takes a while for something like that to wear off.
Anita: No, I had no business going off on you like that and no reason.
Aidan: Anita, you're stressed out, all right? With Edmund's death, Maria leaving, you know, sometimes we just get so stressed out that we blow. You know, I'd rather you take it out on me than someone at the hospital.
Anita: It's not just today, the way I went off. You know, when Bobby would act like Bobby, you always made him back off. And then on Valentine's Day, you brought those sweet little candy hearts. You're kind and sexy and sweet, and even with all of that, I feel like my family chaos has been an excuse, we get close, but not too close, never crossing a certain point.
Aidan: If there is a problem, you'd -- you'd tell me, right?
Anita: There is. It's me. I can't keep blaming it on my family. I mean, you just saw it -- Bobby really hurt me and I wanted so badly to move on, but I did it without dealing with any of that deep-down ugly stuff.
Aidan: All right, listen. When you got a heart as big as yours, it's -- you know, it's bound to get trodden on, and it's going to take a long time for that kind of thing to heal.
Anita: I know. I just -- I have to remember how to trust and get rid of that anger; because otherwise I'm going to be one cranky, messed-up woman the rest of my life.
Aidan: Whatever it takes, ok? I'm not going anywhere.
Anita: No. But I am.
Erica: Yes, a complete mistake -- uh, my slip of the tongue.
Greg: A mother-daughter ceremony?
Val: Ahem. Excuse me -- water.
Greg: Well, my pleasure. I shall have a package of research material messengered over to you very shortly.
Erica: Wonderful. Val, will you please take our first guest down to reception, make sure that his parking is validated? And I assure you that this segment is going to be a triumph.
Greg: I look forward to speaking to you both very soon.
Erica: Thank you.
Erica: He's famous. Honey, New Beginnings
only showcases the very best, which is why I need you,
Erica: Well, supervising producer, my second in command. I am the executive producer, actually.
Erica: Oh. No one more.
Erica: Zach can come sit in the director's
booth if he wants to. No, I mean, he can't. But, no, of course not. This is
between you and me.
Erica: You mean you'll do it, then? You'll take the producer's job?
Erica: Oh, come on,
Ryan: So is this your new thing? You like to meddle in people's lives. You just can't help yourself.
Zach: I did my part.
Ryan: Is it guilt? I mean, is that why you're here? You lied about killing Edmund, you lied about who shot me, and then it all goes down to my brother and the body bags pile up. So is this your good deed? Is this to make up for that?
Zach: I'm not that kind of person.
Ryan: So why start now?
Zach: Exactly. You were right the first time. I like to meddle. I can't help myself. But that show with David -- that was with -- that was good. Let me know if there's an encore, ok?
Ryan: There's the door.
Zach: You need help, Lavery. This is going to end very badly, and not just for you.
Greenlee: David! I come bearing gifts -- not for you, for me, a million tiny gifts for me. Time to work your mojo, Doc.
David: No chance there's a six-pack in there?
Greenlee: Dry ice and three vials. I pulled a heist, broke into the by bank. Greenlee Smythe Lavery, liberator of frozen wigglers.
David: So you actually went through with it?
Greenlee: Uh-huh. I brought Ryan's toothbrush and comb, so you'll have all the DNA you need to figure out which vial is his. So, how long will it take? Come on -- come on, get cracking.
David: Slow down. We need to talk. Maybe Ryan was right about his genes. Maybe it's not such a great idea to pass them on to a child.
J.R.: Look in my eyes. What do you see?
Amanda: Ooh, I see heaven, sexy. That what you want to hear?
J.R.: No. You see dollar signs, don't you? I got to tell you, sweetheart -- bank of J.R., closed.
Amanda: Smart, sexy, and a sense of humor. You see, I know you're kidding, because if you don't pay more, I go up and tell Mommy how much you paid to tank your brother's marriage.
J.R.: You're good, Amanda.
Amanda: Hmm. Say it with hundreds.
J.R.: And you're awfully young, because you really don't understand cause and effect. You screw up one more time, it's going to bite you in the ass. See, you stole money from me, you planted it in the nanny's mattress. One small problem -- she wasn't the nanny, she was my mother, and she's not your biggest fan. So my dad, my mom, and me -- we can all tell the cops that you lifted 10 large. And that is grand theft, and you're awfully cute to be rooming with Big Betty. So you can just suck it up, move on, and honor our deal as it stands.
Amanda: Fine. You keep your closing bonus, I'll keep mine. I withdraw my offer to do you when this is over.
J.R.: That was your request, and your offer was never accepted.
Amanda: Oh, kiss my offer. I've lost interest.
J.R.: And my survival instincts say thank you. Thank you for that.
Anita: I'm leaving with Maria and Maddie.
Aidan: You're -- you're leaving? What,
Anita: Yeah. Joe gave me a leave of absence. It's just for a few months while they get settled out there.
Aidan: Wow. Well, Maria must be relieved.
Anita: Well, it's for her. And it's for me, too. I just -- I need to get my head together, figure out what comes next. Aidan, you have been so good to me, more than I ever could have expected. And if I can't get past that mess with Bobby, with you -- I mean, it's just proof that I can't get past it at all, at least not yet. I guess I'm just not ready. I am so sorry that I let us both think that I was.
Aidan: Well, I -- this is coming as a big surprise. I don't know what to say. Well, go take care of your family, ok, and you let them take care of you. And you call me if you need anything. You promise? Come here.
Josh: Hope I'm not late.
Erica: I'm sorry. You are?
Josh: Your new supervising producer. Let's get started.
Greenlee: No way, David. No take backs, no change my mind. I just pulled a B&E and broke I don't know how many laws, and now you play maybe, maybe not? You have no morals, David, so don't pretend you've had an attack of conscience and get to yank me around. Let's try this again. I have the vials, David. How long until the stick turns blue?
David: I will not help you conceive Ryan's child.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
J.R. (to Di, about Babe): You came back from the dead to defend her? I don't want to hear it.
Josh: Is this the Ryan Lavery? I've heard all about you.
Ryan: And what have you heard exactly?
Greenlee: What's in that bottle?
David: It's acid. I'm going to destroy what's in these bottles.
Greenlee: David, no, you can't!
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