All My Children Transcript Wednesday 6/15/05
Proofread by Gisele
Greg: Erica. I thought we'd left it that --
Erica: That I would call you about the show, yes, I know.
Hazel: Dr. Madden, it's time to close the office.
Greg: Hazel, you and the staff go ahead. This won't take long. Erica, I cannot possibly agree to come on "New Beginnings."
Erica: No, no, no, actually, I'm here about an entirely different matter. A couple I know really needs your help to have a baby.
Greg: Well, I'd be very happy to meet with them.
Erica: Actually, you have already met the wife.
Greenlee: The job's too big for one person.
Simone: So you really want me to be your accomplice in the great S-bank heist? I am so flattered.
Greenlee: So you're onboard?
Simone: Well, what if we don't make a clean break?
Greenlee: We will.
Simone: What if a baby doesn't help you save your marriage?
Greenlee: Simone, this is the only way to help Ryan. I'll beg you if I have to. I'll be forever in your debt. Please.
Simone: Well, how could I say no to that? Ok, mastermind, when do we break in and lift the frozen stash?
J.R.: No, it's not, it's not possible. My mother would never do something that insane. She would never survive a car accident and let me think that she was dead. It's just a sick scam that Tad cooked up to take me out.
J.R.: You got to back me up on this,
Tad: So give me something, anything that begins to make sense. Look at me. Why'd you stay away so long? Was it because you wanted to come back as somebody else? Because you wanted to watch us or just make fools of us?
Di: I can't, I can't. I can't do this right now, not yet. I -- I need some air.
Tad: No. You've had enough air. You've had three years of air. You don't get to run out on me ever again.
Di: You don't get to tell me what to do.
Tad: You don't get to go till you tell me something.
Palmer: Leave the girl alone.
Adam: Could we save this till after the DNA test when we know who she really is?
Tad: I'll know after I hear what she has to say.
Di: You mean after I say what you want to hear?
Palmer: I don't -- I don't need any tests. I -- I knew her mother, and I know her.
Adam: Palmer, you old fool. You can't let this woman off the hook, because she gave you a nitroglycerin pill.
Tad: Wait, wait, wait. I'll make you a deal. You want to get some air, you can do it, but you're going to do it with me.
Di: You are such a stubborn -- all right. Fine. Uncle Palmer? I'll call you soon, and we can meet.
Palmer: Mm-hmm. Thank you. Thank you, my dear, for everything.
Di: Please take care of yourself.
Di: Get some rest.
[Globe shatters when Palmer accidentally knocks it off the table.]
Jamie: I'll drive you to the hospital.
Palmer: No, don't need a hospital.
Adam: He needs an asylum. Your father is using that woman to torment J.R.
Jamie: Did you just see my father? He's suffering just as much as J.R. is.
Adam: Oh, come on, it's all a part of the game.
J.R.: My mother loved me. She could never do this to me.
J.R.: I obviously came to the wrong person.
J.R.: When Erica gave you up at birth?
J.R.: Yeah, including you.
J.R.: What am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to give her a big hug and then plan a family cruise to catch up?
J.R.: Yeah, you're one to talk, like you ever turn the other cheek.
J.R.: No, this is just a wild, crazy, out-there lie.
J.R.: You don't know what happened.
J.R.: Maybe? Maybe?
J.R.: But you never got one. Wow, I must be really lucky.
J.R.: Yeah, lucky you. Finally got happiness.
J.R.: I can never forgive my mother.
Erica: But Greenlee and Ryan shouldn't be made to suffer simply because he made a mistake.
Greg: Well, the mistake was Mrs. Lavery's.
Erica: Greg, I would not be here pleading their case if I didn't know them so well.
Greg: I understand how close you are to them, Erica.
Erica: And I know from personal experience how a child can just change your perspective on so many things, including yourself.
Greg: Yes, but not if you're suddenly surprised by a child who just shows up out of the blue.
Erica: Well, actually, I was surprised by a child, a child that I thought was gone forever. And I thought I didn't even want this child. But now, my goodness, I just can't even find the words to tell you how grateful, how thankful I am that this child did come back into my life -- as I said, a child I didn't even think I wanted. Can you imagine?
Greenlee: Welcome to Fusion. You will not be sorry you came.
Hazel: If this is a trick --
Simone: Oh, no, you will thank us.
Hazel: I won't discuss your insemination. Can't help you there.
Greenlee: I made a terrible fool of myself, Hazel. I don't know what got into me.
Hazel: You sounded sincere on the phone.
Greenlee: I am, I swear. Simone, the gift bags?
Simone: Oh, yes.
Greenlee: With samples of our products.
Simone: Yes, yes. There's ones that even the public won't get their hands on until the fall. One for each, from all of us.
Danielle: I have a date with Reggie. What's the 911?
Simone: Oh, your mission -- and you have no choice but to accept -- it's them.
Greenlee: Yeah, we're giving you all makeovers.
Hazel: This is more than enough.
Simone: Oh, no, but you have to stay.
Greenlee: Yeah, because we called in our top makeup artist, Francesca. She's waiting for you in our research salon.
Simone: Yes. So if you just want to give me your things, we can leave them out here. Nothing cumbersome. And Danielle and I will lead you in.
Danielle: Well, whatever you ladies did to deserve this, it's your lucky day, so follow me.
Simone: Oh, exciting. Ok. It's magic time.
Greenlee: Ok, you take care of them, and I'm going to try and make some clinic keys appear.
Simone: Oh, my gosh, if we pull this off, your frozen dreams come true!
Simone: It doesn't concern you.
Greenlee: Frozen dream is a new line of lip tints that I'm developing.
Greenlee: You hate lighter shades, and I want the frozen dream line to sparkle.
Simone: Ah, yes, like a dusting of snow.
Simone: No! Honestly. I swear on my future husband, whoever and wherever he is, Greenlee told you the truth.
Greenlee: It's a little public relations.
Simone: Greenlee wanted to give back.
Simone: You want to field that one?
Greenlee: Hey, I don't need your permission to breathe.
Greenlee: If I want to do something nice, no matter how uncharacteristic, I don't need your stamp of approval. You don't like it, snark to our big boss, your ex.
Greenlee: He's happy to discuss you.
Greenlee: I begged him to give you another chance.
Simone and Kendall: You what?
Greenlee: No, I told him I did it myself.
Simone: How could you do that and then ask me to be your accomplice?
Greenlee: Chill, Simone.
Simone: Oh, yeah, you know what, Ethan is my personal business, too. You know what, you want some proof? Proof right here. The only trophy I ever won I won with him, and then you -- you had the audacity to divert him from me to her? That is low.
Greenlee: Please be quiet.
Greenlee: Maybe I won't if you'd just get out of here.
Simone: Ugh! You know, I just hate it when we fight.
Greenlee: It took long enough to get her out of here.
Simone: Wait, wait, so that was a plan, you pick a fight?
Greenlee: I couldn't ask her to help me find these keys.
Simone: Oh. Oh, that's --
Greenlee: It says "Clinic." We're in.
Greg: I can understand how much you want to help your stepdaughter, but --
Erica: And Ryan is an amazing man, believe me. Actually, he and Greenlee had planned to have a baby.
Greg: Yes, well, obviously changed his mind.
Erica: Well, his family changed his mind for him. But Ryan is a fine man, and he'll make a wonderful father, the kind of father that many of us actually wish we had. And I know, Greg, how you believe in everything you do in your clinics and the happiness you give people. That's all I want for Ryan and Greenlee.
Greg: I cannot inseminate Mrs. Lavery without her husband's knowledge. But what I can do, I will remove Mr. Lavery's donation from the general bank. I will reserve it in case you and Mrs. Lavery can get him to change his mind.
Erica: Thank you. Thank you, Greg. And I know that Greenlee will be very grateful, and I'm quite sure you will be hearing from her very soon.
Greenlee: You said you were going to change your shoes.
Simone: I did. Don't you love them? Look at that.
Greenlee: This is what you keep in the bottom of your desk drawer?
Simone: Oh, there was this guy I met on the Internet. It seemed like a good idea.
Greenlee: To dress like Catwoman?
Simone: He was a rat.
Greenlee: Put this on.
Simone: Ooh, good idea, good idea. Oh, oh, make sure you get the equipment.
[Greenlee picks up a small cooler.]
Greenlee: Yes. Future babies, Mama's on her way.
Palmer: How is it?
Jamie: Strong and steady.
Adam: Need a lube job?
Jamie: I would still feel better if you saw a doctor.
Adam: You better listen to him. He's a mechanic, you know.
Palmer: Oh. Yeah,
Adam: You're delusional, Palmer.
Palmer: You don't want her to be
Adam: J.R., you ok?
J.R.: Where is she?
Adam: Oh, she went off with Martin. Plotting their next move, I assume.
Jamie: She needed some air.
Palmer: Yeah, well, she just couldn't take your father's attacks.
J.R.: Who broke this?
J.R.: Yeah, who the hell broke it?
Palmer: Well, I put some water down there, and I knocked it over.
Jamie: It was an accident.
[Looking through her belongings, Di picks up a beaded necklace.]
Di: Oh. J.R. said I looked like a mermaid.
[She then holds up a striped pink-and-white top.]
Di: Oh. Remember this? Remember what you said to me when I put it on, that I looked like a --
Tad and Di: Psychedelic barber's pole.
Tad: Yeah, that was without a doubt the ugliest thing you ever owned.
Di: My birthday present from him when he was, what, 7?
Di: I liked it because he picked it out.
Tad: He certainly wasn't listening to his old man.
Di: Like you had any fashion sense.
Tad: Excuse me?
Di: So many memories in these.
Tad: This whole house is nothing but memories -- of you.
Di: You shouldn't have brought me here.
Erica: Greenlee, it's Erica. Good news.
Jack: So what's the good news you have for our daughter that you don't want me to know anything about?
Simone: Almost in.
[After sneaking into the fertility clinic, Greenlee is surprised to see Dr. Madden in his office and accidentally steps on Simone’s foot.]
Greg: Who's there? Who is that?
[Unable to see Greenlee and Simone hiding behind a desk, Greg makes a phone call then leaves.]
Greg: Hey. It's me. Listen -- don't come
Greenlee: Just keep your eyes peeled for a cryogenic sperm tank.
Greenlee: Come on.
Erica: Greenlee's call, my nosy husband, is a surprise.
Jack: Oh, I love surprises. For me?
Erica: But it's personal. It's a girl thing.
Jack: Enough. I don't need to know any more then.
Erica: No, you don't. Listen, not that I'm not very, very glad to see you, but what are you doing here in my offices?
Jack: Well, honey, I was -- I was actually doing some thinking. Should I talk to Greenlee about Ryan's decision to keep them from having any kids at all or should I just keep my big mouth shut?
Erica: Oh, well, what do you think?
Jack: Well, I think maybe if you knew the facts, you'd be able to help me with this. Did you know that Ryan went and got a vasectomy?
Erica: Yes. Yes, I did know that. Greenlee actually told me.
Jack: Gee, I didn't think she'd broadcast that.
Erica: Well, I happened to run into her, and she seemed very distracted, the poor thing, and so, yes, I guess she needed someone to unload to.
Jack: Well, my opinion is she should be thanking her lucky stars.
Erica: That's archaic and wrong headed. Ryan would make a wonderful father.
Jack: Look, you, I do not want to argue. Ok?
Erica: Ok, ok.
Erica: Then we just won't discuss it.
Erica: And don't bring it up to Greenlee, because she will take your head off, and she'd be right.
Jack: So the answer would be to keep my big mouth shut and adhere to our agreement not to interfere in our children's lives, right?
Erica: Absolutely and emphatically right.
Jack: Good. Good. So you're not
Erica: Why are you dragging
Jack: Well, last time I questioned you about her, you were kind of evasive.
Erica: I didn't evade.
Jack: So no matter what happens with her and Ethan and Zach, you don't have anything to say about it, do you?
Erica: Jack, of course I have an opinion. I love my daughter.
Jack: And you want to protect her, and so do I, but you don't have any plans to, say, try to run her life, do you?
Ms. Bratten: Ms. Kane, am I interrupting?
Erica: Yes. But I don't mean that in a bad way. Please come in, Ms. Bratten.
Ms. Bratten: And is this the husband?
Erica: Absolutely, yes. Millie Martini-Bratten, this is my husband. This is Jack Mont --
Jack: AKA "The husband," exactly right. Nice to meet you.
Ms. Bratten: Don't speak too soon, Mr. Montgomery.
Erica: Ms. Bratten is here to interrogate me.
Jack: What for? Erica, what -- what have you done?
[Little Adam fusses]
Winifred: I just put him down when you called me, sir.
Adam: I'll take care of it.
Winifred: Shall I take that, sir?
J.R.: No, it's all right. I'd like to hang on to it.
Jamie: I know how hard this is for you.
J.R.: Did I ask your opinion?
Tad: You always knew where to find me. And
yet you chose to let me go. And then you chose to come back as somebody else.
That's -- what,
Di: Tad, you know, it's too soon to get into all this.
Tad: The hell it is. It's been three years. And with all due respect, I don't think those years went quickly for either one of us.
Di: I need to handle this by myself.
Tad: Yeah, well, you've been doing a
bang-up job so far. Little by little, day by day, I've watched J.R. turn into
Adam, because of the way you've been handling this. And now you have the gall
to stand in Adam's living room and throw guilt at me, because I let the cat out
of the bag, I screwed up your little charade? I thought about you every single
day. I went through the pain of remembering every morning, and every night I
fell asleep missing you. So some guy calls out of the blue and tells me there's
a chance -- a chance -- my ex-wife is still in the land of the living, what the
hell was I supposed to do?
Di: I nearly died, Tad. There were times I wish I had died, because it was so much easier than living. No, that is not a plea for pity. It's fact. My baby was gone, my body was -- was ripped to shreds. The grief was unbearable. I couldn't deal with my feelings or emotions. I couldn't deal with anything. I mean, it was just doctors and surgery and recovery, and more doctors and more surgery. I never expected it to end, and so when it finally did, there was so much to figure out, decisions to be made, and I had to learn how to take control of my life, and I still need time to figure that out now. But you, Tad, you -- you took that control away from me!
Tad: That's not what I set out to do.
Di: Well, you did it, just like you did it three years ago. I had to leave this country, because I knew you'd want me to terminate the pregnancy. You didn't want me to get pregnant again.
Tad: I didn't want you to sacrifice your life to have a baby.
Di: Well, I didn't end up doing that, did I?
Tad: No. You just let me think you did for three years.
Di: I'm sorry.
Tad: You should be. Whatever grief you went through over losing Kate, I felt for both of you. I lost everything. And I know it's not some kind of contest, but, baby, what the hell were you thinking? What did you assume I'd do? That I'd just wait for a few hours, take your stuff in boxes, and carry it out to the curb?
Di: No, I didn't think that.
Tad: Damn right. You crawled out of that wreck somehow. I didn't. I've been stuck in that stinking car for three years. Maybe you didn't die, but a big piece of me sure as hell did. You remember this? It's the last letter you ever sent me. "My darling Tad, I am so sorry for the way I left you. I hated doing it. I miss you every single moment of every single day. Tad, I have news, news I had to keep secret until now. I'm pregnant. When I first found out I was carrying your child, I couldn't face you, because I knew you wouldn't want me to go through with the pregnancy. You'd be too worried about my heart. But now most of the danger is behind me, and our baby is perfect. And, Tad? I'm having a girl. I only went through with the divorce, because I wanted to keep her, and now that I have, I want to come home. If you can forgive me. If you can take me back." You know, after the shock wore off, and the euphoria set in, I -- I promised myself something. I promised I would do anything, anything to make this work out for us, that I'd never risk losing you again, but somehow I did.
Di: But you couldn't help that.
Tad: Did you know I was on a plane when I
found out? I was strapped in, all ready to take off, and Brooke came onboard
and she broke the news. Neither of us ever got off that flight. No, she held my
hand all the way to
Di: He's still messed up.
Tad: Yeah, he is.
Di: Tad, you managed somehow.
Tad: "Managed"? Oh, yeah, hell, I managed. I mean, laugh, the whole world laughs with you. But you know what I found out? You start weeping, you make people really nervous. But you're right, eventually, you get better at it. You start fooling people, and eventually you can even fool yourself. Eventually, you can look in the mirror as you're shaving and think, "My God, I look almost lifelike."
Di: I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have.
Tad: Hell, I didn't think you could. Till somebody told me that they had found that car, and you weren't anywhere to be found. I didn't even allow myself the chance to hope. Till one thing led to another, and then another, and then another. And eventually, I went beyond hope. I started to pray. But all through it, I couldn't understand. It didn't make sense. I -- I couldn't possibly see how you would survive that crash and not come back to me. But now I do. You were just waiting to see if I would do the same thing all over again, if I would make the same mistakes.
Di: The day you were coming, I was a complete wreck. I had planned everything perfectly. But there were still doubts. Did you ever ask yourself why I went driving in the mountains that day? It was to clear my head. Tad, we had so many problems -- three divorces' worth -- and when I -- when I recovered from the accident --
Tad: You didn't think we'd make it. So you didn't have a reason to come back.
Di: I wasn't sure if I still wanted to.
Erica: Jack, I promise, I was just kidding.
Erica: Ms. Bratten is the editor in chief of "Bride" magazine.
Jack: Oh, oh.
Erica: I've agreed to give an interview
all about our very beautiful and very romantic wedding in
Ms. Bratten: Well, have I got two for one? Mr. Montgomery, will you join us?
Jack: Well, I don't know what help I would be for a thing like this. Sure, absolutely. Here you go, honey.
Ms. Bratten: Wonderful. Well, let's get started. If you had to choose one single image as a defining moment of your wedding, what would it be?
Jack: Oh, that's simple.
Erica: That's easy.
Jack: Sorry. Go ahead.
Erica: No, we're both thinking the same thing.
Jack: I think so.
Erica: You go ahead.
Jack: All right. It would have to be when Erica and I were standing before the minister --
Erica: Surrounded by our children. It just doesn't get better than that.
Hazel: I feel like a new woman!
Nurse: A glamorous woman!
Hazel: A star!
Nurse: Who's going to make my husband's night.
Hazel: Bye, Dani! You're awesome, girl!
Danielle: Rock on, angels of mercy!
Reggie: Baby, who was that?
Danielle: Oh, nurses, some clinic. Greenlee arranged a makeover, dumped them on me, split with Simone.
Reggie: Well, is Simone and Greenlee coming back anytime soon?
Danielle: Nope. Let's book.
Reggie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, what's your rush? With all that hard work, you deserve a reward.
Danielle: Hmm. Nice.
Reggie: It's real nice.
Danielle: I have to lock up.
Reggie: No, no, you don't. Look, when was the last time we were alone together?
Danielle: Good point.
[Reggie and Danielle engage in some serious kissing.]
Simone: Ok, this has got to be it. It's locked.
Greenlee: Yeah, of course. Why should it be that easy, unless -- damn.
Simone: Use the one that's marked "Top Secret."
Greenlee: Ha, ha. I'm in.
Simone: I can't believe that you said that.
Greenlee: This has to be the place.
Simone: The bank's local branch. Now, where's the teller?
Greenlee: Just think of it as an ATM. We just have to figure out how to make the withdrawal ourselves.
Mimi: Freeze! What do you think you're doing?
Reggie: Whatever the hell we want. Who are you?
J.R.: I don't know what I was doing. I should have just let Winifred take that.
Jamie: I can help you.
J.R.: Yeah, sure -- help work me over. You know, you and Babe soften me up, move in for the kill, get full custody of my son, then take Phoeb's money.
Jamie: Just let it go.
J.R.: You wish. You know, you and Babe don't stand a chance. I'm going to keep full custody of my son, and unless you kiss Babe off for the dirt that she really is, you're never going to see any of Phoebe's money. So shove off!
Jamie: We have something to settle first. Amanda told us what you did to her.
J.R.: You know, I don't really care what the hell she --
Jamie: You drugged her to get her into bed with you!
J.R.: Look, if Amanda's got a problem with me, she knows where to find me.
Jamie: Well, I told Winifred to pack her things.
J.R.: And I care why?
Jamie: Because she'll be staying with me and Babe from now on.
J.R.: Why don't you take her stupid stories and her cruddy clothes and get out!
Jamie: Stay away from her.
[Once alone, J.R. retrieves the broken snow globe from the trash can and wraps it in a napkin.]
Tad: You thought you'd just fly in low, circle a couple times, see if I measured up. If I didn't, you could take off again. Nobody would be hurt, nobody would be any the wiser? Well, I'm sorry I ruined it for you. Everybody would be better off.
[Tad holds the front door open.]
Tad: Do I really have to say it?
Jack: Here we go. After you. And you stay right here, because I have a surprise for you.
Erica: Oh, really, about Greenlee?
Jack: No, about
Erica: I can hardly wait.
Ms. Bratten: My office will be calling to check quotes.
Erica: Thank you, wonderful. You take care.
Ms. Bratten: You, too.
[Once alone, Erica phones Greenlee.]
Erica: Greenlee, it's me again. Listen, I'm sorry I had to cut out before, but the good news is I have found someone, I have connected with someone, and I'll give you all the details when I see you, but I convinced him to help you with your problem. So you call me just as soon as you can.
Greenlee: One of these three guys must be Ryan.
Simone: You know, how are you going to know? It's not like we can look into a microscope and see tiny Ryan tadpoles smiling up at us.
Greenlee: We're taking all three.
Greenlee: What are you doing?
Simone: Making sure there's no lasers or motion sensors, you know, that might trip an alarm.
Greenlee: Just open the freezer already.
Simone: It's deceptively simple, you know? There could be a combination lock.
Greenlee: No, just open it before somebody comes in here!
Simone: I'm trying to! Will you just shut up?
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Di (to David): I hate you!
David (to Di):
Jack (to Zach): I took all your casinos
away from you once. I'll take even more if you hurt
Ethan (to Erica): No matter how much of a creep you may think I am, my father is much worse.
Patrick: Bet against the house of Lavery, you'll lose it all.
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