AMC Transcript Wednesday 5/11/05

All My Children Transcript Wednesday 5/11/05



By Amanda
Proofread by Gisele

Amanda: I am so, so sorry.

Jamie: For what?

Amanda: Don't worry. I'll take care of it. Everything will be fine.

Babe: Ahem. Care to share?

Lily: Sorry it took me longer than scheduled. I needed to get some supplies.

Sam: Maddie, chill out. I'm working on it, and I have got a great hideout.

Lily: No. They can trace calls even on cell phones.

Sam: I don't care what Brooke said. I'm not going to live with Mom. Now, give me a day or so, I'll let you know when and where. Ok, bye. Nobody saw you come up here, right?

Lily: Right, and no one would ever think that you would hide in Greenlee’s penthouse. I brought food and the next part of our plan.

Sam: Bring it on.

Lily: Do you like raw vegetables, Parmesan dip, and New Zealand?

Erica: Jack, sit down. We have to settle this now.

Jack: I have to find Lily.

Erica: Sam Grey can wait.

Jack: Sam Grey is trying to leave the country, and Lily may know where he is.

Erica: Jack, that is not the issue here. We've got to talk about us.

Jack: Tell you what, why don't you ask Kendall or Greenlee, because evidently they are the ones who get to decide if there is an us.

Greenlee: Right now, I don't give a flying bouquet if Erica and Jack get married. As much fun as all this "Brady Bunch" stuff is, I've got to get back to Ryan.

Kendall: No, no, no, don't you even think about it, Greenlee. You screwed up my mother's last wedding to your father. I will lock you in another tower before I let you do that again.

Ethan: I do hope that's not Cuban.

J.R.: A Chandler doesn't let a little thing like an embargo get in the way of a fine cigar. Help yourself to a stogy.

Ethan: I don't plan on staying that long.

J.R.: Suit yourself. I assume that you've stopped by because you realize that you've made one hell of a mistake. You regret firing me.

Ethan: Actually, I think letting you go was the best move I've made yet.

J.R.: Well, then you've come to ask me to stay away from Kendall. You're wasting your time. I think I'm in love.

Kendall: Hello? Could you not hear them fighting about you?

Greenlee: Before I even came in, Jack was angry at Erica for using their wedding as a bargaining chip with you to keep you from marrying Zach Slater.

Kendall: No, no, no, I'm not the problem. You and your marriage to Ryan, that's the problem.

Greenlee: My marriage? You've got a revolving door from your bed to diamond rings these days. Who can keep up? If my father and your mother don't vow to love, honor, and file taxes jointly, it's going to be because of you.

Erica: Jack, you have completely blown this out of proportion. When I spoke to Kendall --

Jack: I think I understand just fine, Erica. You're having second thoughts about marrying me.

Erica: I was trying to keep Kendall from ruining her life. I mean, a mother would say anything.

Jack: Don't jerk me around. You're having second thoughts, aren't you?

Erica: Yes. Yes, I am.

Lily: My favorite are the carrots. Please help yourself.

Sam: No, not hungry.

Lily: But you need your strength in order to be on the run.

Sam: So what's up with New Zealand?

Lily: I told you I came up with a much better plan.

Sam: Well, I wanted to go back to France, but you vetoed the airport.

Lily: I think that you should take a bus to an airport farther away, but I still think France is a bad idea. They'll look for you there first. I think we should come up with a new spot.

Sam: New Zealand?

Lily: It's much better.

Sam: Why?

Lily: It was in a book that my mom used to read to me when I was little. It was my favorite. There were lots of pretty pictures in it.

Sam: Well, pretty pictures are great and all, but isn't it, like, a zillion miles away?

Lily: It's very far. But there's all this wide-open land with no people and no crowds and no noise, just lots of sheep.

Sam: I'm sure I'd be hard to find among a bunch of sheep.

Lily: It's actually called a flock. I liked the sheep in the book so much, my mom took me to a petting zoo. I got to feel a real one. It felt really nice.

Sam: You know, my dad took me and Maddie to a petting zoo once.

Lily: I think the sheep and all the wide-open space would make you feel much better again.

Sam: If I go to New Zealand, will you visit me?

Lily: I'd like that.

Sam: What happened to your mom?

Lily: She was killed, just like your dad.

Jack: Well, thank you so much for finally being honest with me.

Erica: Jack, I was finally honest --

Jack: I guess I should be thankful to Kendall and Zach Slater. If you hadn't been so desperate to make sure they didn't get married, I wouldn't have heard about these second thoughts of yours until I was halfway down the aisle.

Erica: Oh, no, no, no, that's not true. It's not true. I just wanted to figure things out before I spoke to you. I hate that I'm having second thoughts.

Jack: Yeah, well, I don't particularly like it that you're waiting until now to tell me about them.

Erica: Jack, please, I want to get past this. Please sit down with me and let's -- let's talk about this.

Jack: No, Erica, we're not going to get anywhere now.

Erica: We can hash it all out. Please sit with me, sit with me and let's work this out.

Reggie: Oh, man, am I glad you guys got home. I've been trying to track you crazy kids down all night.

Erica: Reggie, uh, Jack and I just need a few minutes alone.

Reggie: A few minutes? That's all you guys need? Spare me the details. Look, you guys will have plenty of time alone once you're married, but tonight I got some plans for us.

Jack: Reggie, do me a favor, will you? Will you go into my wallet, take out some cash, go find some friends, and take them for a pizza, or go take Danielle to a movie, anything you want to do. It's my treat, ok?

Reggie: Well, you know how much I love free money, but I don't feel like going out tonight. You guys are going to be husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Ball and Chain.

Jack: Yeah, sure we are, Reggie, but --

Reggie: No, no, no, there's no "buts." Before all the wedding vows and the speeches, I just want to spend some quality time with you guys. Starting tonight. Starting now.

Kendall: Zach and I are not the reason Erica and Jackson may be canceling their doves.

Greenlee: Oh, please. It's the Kendall show 24/7 -- all Kendall, all the time.

Kendall: Excuse me, I was cementing the peace between our lovely couple when you busted in and went off on your dad about messing with you and Ryan.

Greenlee: I had every right. He won't leave us alone. Because of dear, old dad, Ryan actually considered calling it quits. It has me completely freaked out. I've never been this close to losing him, and I can't. I just can’t. My father is completely and totally to blame. At least your parent is keeping you from someone you don't actually love.

Kendall: Ok, what, so you want to punish him by ruining the one relationship that actually makes him happy?

Greenlee: Who knew your mother would actually be on my side for a change?

Kendall: Yeah, God knows why.

Greenlee: I'm going to regret saying this, but I think I like our little bridezilla more than my own father right now.

Kendall: Listen to me, they're parents, ok? They wouldn't be parents if they didn't interfere.

Greenlee: It's my life.

Kendall: What, so you're going to punish him no matter what it costs him?

Greenlee: He deserves it.

Kendall: No, Greenlee, listen to me, all right, my mother bugs me to death, ok? She would not shut up about Ethan. But I'm not going to go off on her now. I'm not going to hold that against her now.

Greenlee: No, you're holding it against Ethan instead. You're punishing him by marrying his father and sleeping with J.R. Chandler.

J.R.: We're so sorry that we missed you. Winifred said that you had stopped by while Kendall and I were sleeping. You know, you should've called first, bud, given me a chance to get my pants back on.

Ethan: You don't seriously think that you're getting to me, do you?

J.R.: Oh, I seriously think we could've stayed up, had a nightcap or something. Maybe Kendall and I could've scootched over, gave you some room in the hot tub.

Ethan: Wind it up, J.R. It's not working.

J.R.: You only have yourself to blame. You put your hatred for your old man in front of Kendall.

Ethan: You don’t know a damn thing about me.

J.R.: I know that Kendall, or a woman like Kendall, does not like to be taken for granted.

Ethan: I can assure you that she's not.

J.R.: I played fair, my friend. I warned you if you hurt her in any way, I would move in. So, here I am.

Ethan: Just don't think for a moment that you're going to be any kind of permanent fixture.

J.R.: Don't worry, Ethan. I'll take real good care of her.

Babe: Well, it's nice to meet you, Amanda.

Amanda: Forget that. It's so great to make the girl who makes this guy so happy. Wow! You look so much like him.

Babe: Huh?

Amanda: Your beautiful baby boy.

Jamie: Amanda's staying with the Chandlers. Her cousin Hayley set it up.

Babe: Oh. Well, you'd better be sure not to cross the Prince of Darkness.

Amanda: He does have a power-trip thing going.

Jamie: J.R. and Amanda and I used to hang out when we were kids.

Amanda: Yeah, we celebrated our birthdays together, went trick-or-treating. Total BFF.

Jamie: "BFF"?

Babe: "Best Friends Forever."

Amanda: Come on, Jamie, weren't you ever in the fourth grade?

Jamie: Not as a girl I wasn’t. J.R. used to try to get Amanda to play doctor, but she'd have none of it.

Amanda: I'm so excited to see you both again -- a little shocked that you're fighting.

Jamie: This is more than a fight.

Amanda: He almost blew the roof off when he found out you'd stopped by the other day.

Babe: Yeah, well, you should see him when I stop by.

Amanda: I mean, he doesn't even want you looking at his place ever again.

Jamie: Don't want him here, either.

Amanda: This is so wrong. You guys are brothers. You used to be so close.

Babe: A lot's changed since then.

Amanda: Well, you have to make up. That's all there is to it.

Jamie: That's never going to happen.

J.R.: It's such night and day after Babe. A woman like Kendall knows what she wants -- and is not afraid to ask for it, I might add. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. This must be tough for you to hear.

Ethan: Well, Kendall was upset. I mean, you were there. You were convenient.

J.R.: I gave her a lot more than convenient comfort.

Ethan: But it's going to take a lot more than that to break us up.

J.R.: Don't worry. I've got a lot more to give.

Ethan: I still love Kendall. I'm still going to marry her.

Kendall: Greenlee, I am not going to get into my personal life with you. Now, my mother's happiness is at stake and so is your father’s.

Greenlee: Their happiness comes first? How about a little of my own?

Kendall: Oh, God, would you listen to yourself? You want to punish Jack, fine, do it after the wedding.

Greenlee: Don't you get it?

Kendall: No, no, stop, shut up a minute. Listen to me. Now, as hard as it is sometimes, I love my mother, and I'm pretty sure you love your father, too. These two, they belong together.

Greenlee: It's up to them to get through it.

Kendall: Yes, well, this wedding has been derailed one too many times, ok? It's up to us to help them. If they don't make it to the "I dos" this time, they never will.

Reggie: See, isn't this cozy? One big, happy family. None of that tense stuff down at the Valley Inn. You know, for a minute there, I thought I was going to be the only one eating wedding cake all by myself. Well, it's not like I don't like eating wedding cake, because I really do. It's -- no. No, not tonight. You guys cannot be mad at each other.

Jack: Reggie, Erica and I need a little time alone, ok?

Reggie: Ok. If that's how you're going to be, I'll be in my room.

Erica: Finally, we can talk.

Jack: I don't want to talk. I'm sick of talking. You know what -- I love you, Erica. I want to marry you. If you're having second thoughts, you deal with them. If you manage to get past them, let me know before I get to the altar?

Kendall: You are going to make nice with Jack, so he and my mother stop fighting about you.

Greenlee: Then I'll be doing what he's doing to Ryan and me -- interfering.

Kendall: No, Greenlee, Greenlee, that's what they do. Families are supposed to interfere.

Greenlee: Erica and Jack have to work this out for themselves. If they don't, that's their problem.

Kendall: Oh, no, no, it becomes our problem. If they don't get married, it's our problem. Listen to me, imagine this -- Jack and Erica single? No my mother's going to do what she always does when she's not in a relationship. She's going to focus on her children.

Greenlee: So? You're not the only one.

Kendall: Bianca is thousands of miles away. I'll get all the attention -- God help me.

[Kendall imagines what her life might be like]

Kendall: What – what’s going on?

Woman: Sweetie, I need you to be still.

Kendall: But -- get off me! You've got to be kidding me.

Erica: Smile, sweetheart! You're going to be on television!

Kendall: What? Television?

Erica: Oh, no, really, Kendall, we can't possibly shoot the first segment of "New Beginnings" with such a sour puss. Come on, smile for Mommy. Hey, everybody, how do I look?

Woman: Fabulous!

Man: Great! Absolutely delicious!

Erica: Thank you.

Man: Ms. Kane, we're ready whenever you are.

Erica: Thank you so much. Oh, I'm so glad that we’re going to get to spend so much time together, sweetheart.

Man: Wait. Erica wants the daughter to have bangs.

Kendall: What? No, no, no!

Erica: Bangs are the new black.

Kendall: What?

Erica: Yes. Ok, stop hitting her. I guess it's all right. I mean, it's too late anyhow. We'll cut bangs at another time. Oh, this first segment for "New Beginnings" is going to be so much better than my original idea -- you know, taping that wedding to Jackson. Oh, thank heavens that didn't happen. This is going to speak to our core audience.

[Theme music plays]

Man: We’re rolling.

Erica: Ok.

Man: In five, four, three -

Kendall: What? What?

Erica: Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to "New Beginnings." Our first segment is on beginnings between mothers and daughters, so who best to get the ball rolling but me? And, of course, my beautiful daughter Kendall, who is in desperate need of a fresh start. Say hello to the audience, Kendall.

Kendall: Uh, "hello to the audience, Kendall."

Erica: Kendall and I are going to start over together, and our beginnings are going to be full of fun and laughter and, of course, fabulous adventures, because not only will my daughter and I be working together in our new business, but my daughter will be moving in with me, too. Won't you, Kendall

Kendall: What at? No, you're kid--

Erica: Kendall is going to give up all interest in Fusion to be my trusty little sidekick here –

Kendall: I'm not --

Erica: But first, a mother-daughter bikini wax.

Kendall: What? No!

Greenlee: What's the matter with you, huh? You look like hell.

Kendall: I've just been to hell, and I've come home with very smooth legs.

Greenlee: I think you're an olive short of a martini.

Kendall: No, no, it'll be you, too. It'll be you, too, if you don't help me get our parents back together and make this wedding happen. You think about this, think about it -- if Jackson lost Erica and he had nothing but just time to focus on his children –

Greenlee: Uh-huh?

Kendall: Especially his eldest? That's right, that's right you just wait. You think he's interfering now.

[Greenlee imagines her family in Austrian costumes as in “The Sound of Music.”

Jack: Good morning, children. Time for our daily reports. Reggie?

Reggie: Yes, sir

Jack: Homework check. Math?

Reggie: Check.

Jack: Chemistry?

Reggie: Check.

Jack: Physical education?

Reggie: Come on, there's no real need -- check.

Jack: Very good. Lily, chore check. Bed made?

Lily: Check.

Jack: Breakfast dishes done?

Lily: Check. And I even did the ones that Greenlee didn't do.

Jack: Excellent. I can always count on you. Greenlee.

Greenlee: Sir?

Jack: Divorce?

Greenlee: Check.

Jack: Get that files today.

Greenlee: Yes, sir.

Jack: Now, children. It comes to my attention we are able to spend enough quality time together here in Pine Valley, so we will be leaving. We'll be touring the world on foot.

Lily: I can bring my accordion?

Jack: Yes, of course, you may. We'll start in the mountains of Austria, and we will sing beautiful songs together wherever we go.

Greenlee: Well, we can't leave. You can't leave Erica.

Jack: Why not? Erica's not my wife, she's not my family. You, children -- you are my life. Practice time, children.

Reggie: [Off-key] Ahhhhhh


[Screaming, Greenlee comes out of her daydream or is it daymare?]

Greenlee: No! You're right. Erica and Jackson have to get married, and we have to make sure it happens.

Kendall: Good. Get going, go.

Amanda: So you get three hours a week with your boy and J.R.’s trying to keep you from that?

Babe: And the hits keep on coming.

Amanda: What's wrong with him? God, Babe, this must suck for you.

Babe: Hey, I'm not a total victim. I mean, weren't you listening? I've made more than a paper cup full of mistakes.

[Pager beeps]

Jamie: Oh. Sorry, ladies. That's me. I got an emergency call. I'll be back soon. Amanda, it's -- ok. It's great to have you back.

Babe: Bye.

Jamie: Bye.

Amanda: Everybody screws up sometimes. My mom made tons of mistakes. And for that, I spent a lot of years away from her. I missed her so much. I bet you miss your little boy, too. You know, I don't care what you did, light the whole town on fire, it's wrong to keep a mother from her child.

Babe: Can I light J.R. first?

J.R.: You know, I am amazed that you're willing to toss your pride away when it comes to Kendall. I sure as hell didn't want Babe after she played around on me.

Ethan: I hurt Kendall, she wanted to hurt me back. You? You're just a one-night slap in the face, that's all.

J.R.: She didn't seem like she was hurting to me. In fact, in fact, in fact -- just the opposite.

Ethan: A slap? I felt the sting, but only for a moment.

J.R.: I'm sorry, mate, Kendall forgot about you as soon as the skin hit the sheets.

Ethan: Oh, she's already forgotten about you, J.R.

J.R.: I'm not giving up on her, Ethan.

Ethan: Didn't expect you to right away. You told me that every man has a price, and, well, I think I know yours.

Lily: I was really sad when my mom died.

Sam: At least you didn't get stuck with a parent who's a total waste.

Lily: My dad makes me feel really good. I'm really glad he adopted me.

Sam: I didn't know that you were adopted.

Lily: I've never met my biological father, but my dad's the only dad I'll ever need.

Sam: My dad always made me feel really good, too.

Lily: My dad says that's what dads are for.

Sam: I thought being adopted was a good deal.

Lily: You were adopted, too?

Sam: Well, I've known about it forever.

Lily: Thanks for telling me that.

[Phone rings]

Lily: Hello? Hi, Reggie. Oh, ok. I'll be right there. It's time. I got to go.

Jack: Think I know where Lily could be.

Erica: Jack, stop this. Please don't go anywhere. Lily is fine.

Jack: Yeah, but Sam’s not, now, is he?

Erica: Sam ran away because he's still grieving the loss of his father, and because he's angry with his mother.

Erica: Lily.

Jack: Lily, I'm so happy to see you. Honey, I'm so sorry if Erica and I upset you.

Lily: It's ok, Dad. Don't worry about me, I'm fine.

Jack: Honey, Maria has been looking for Sam. Have you seen him?

Lily: Yes.

Erica: Where, Lily? Where is he?

Lily: I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that information.

Jack: Why not?

Lily: Because Sam is my client, and it's my job to protect his confidentiality. I have to keep him from the bad guys.

Jack: Who are the bad guys?

Lily: His mother and Zach Slater.

Jack: Sweetheart, you know you can trust me, right? Please tell me where Sam is.

Lily: I can't tell you.

Erica: Jack, if Lily saw Sam, that means that he's still here in Pine Valley, that he's safe. Sam just needs some space, some time to himself.

Jack: I see. First, you tell me what's right for Greenlee. Now you're going to tell me what's right for Maria’s kids, as well?

Erica: No, Jack, it's just that I have had a little bit more experience with older children.

Jack: Oh, I see. So now I'm the bad parent, huh?

Erica: Jack, you know I think that you're a wonderful father.

Jack: I suppose you disapprove of me keeping Lily in that boarding school for all those years?

Erica: Jack, you're blowing this all out of proportion.

Jack: I'm sorry, you know what, I forgot I was talking to Pine Valley’s parenting expert.

Erica: Jack, stop it right now!

Jack: You know what, Erica --

Erica: I'm not attacking you!

Jack: You're right, you're right. When you're right, you're right. You're right about your children, you're right about my children, and, oh, you are especially right about Maria’s kids, huh? You had all the answers when Maddie was a baby, didn't you?

Erica: Jack, don't go there.

Jack: When you decided that she belonged with you.

[Knock on door]


Reggie: Hey, what's up with nobody answering the door? Must I do everything around here?

Opal: Hello, hello, hello! Oh, you look so pretty! One would think that you were getting married for the very first time!

Myrtle: Oh, now, don't be gloomy, darling! This is your wedding shower!

All: Surprise!

Livia: I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist!

Jack: Thank you, Livia.

[Jack opens a box and pulls out a ball on a chain]

Joe: Yeah, and -- want you to get used to the weight of it, old boy.

Danielle: Looks good on you, Mr. M.

Palmer: They're all hellions, Jack. Get out of it while you can.

[Knock on door]

[When someone delivers a cake, Lily takes it and leaves]

Livia: Opal, this was a great idea.

Opal: It was, wasn't it? Well, I couldn't have done it without my partner in crime here.

Reggie: Yeah, Opal helped a little bit.

Opal: Yeah! So you were going to get the chow. Where is it?

Reggie: Give me a second, give me a second. Dani, you want to come help me in the kitchen?

Opal: Yeah, time to be passing some treats.

Myrtle: Darling, how is the bride-to-be? Is everything in order?

Opal: Yeah, well, she -- she's may be just a little overwhelmed by her surprise.

Erica: "Overwhelmed." Yes, yes, that's a good word.

Greenlee: Look at them. It's as if someone told me to marry you.

Kendall: I'm quite the catch.

Greenlee: I can't get into that. We've got to take some action.

Reggie: What the -- I could've sworn I put it in this afternoon, the veggie basket. Where'd it go?

Sam: "Here come the bride and groom." Not exactly my going-away cake, huh?

Lily: Well, Reggie said that the cake was for our friends, so you should definitely have some.

Sam: Uh, you got some --

Lily: What?

Sam: Some frosting. You want me to get it?

Lily: No. Uh --

Sam: Little more.

Lily: Ok. I brought something else, too. When my mom died, my dad put my favorite picture of her in a frame. I kept it by my bed. I didn't feel as sad when I could look over at my mom every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed. I think you should put that picture of your dad in here, keep it by your bed.

Sam: I don't need --

Lily: That way, you can look at him every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep.

Amanda: You guys look so happy there. Big family trip?

Babe: If you call being on the run with fake names and J.R. chasing after you, sure.

Amanda: Got to get your cheap thrills where you can.

Babe: You know, I remember this one time we were at this total dive of a motel, and I was trying to show Jamie how to make French toast but with a flatiron. See Mama, she's done it a million times, but I totally messed it up, and the smoke alarm went off and -- Jamie still laughs about it.

Amanda: He really does love you, it's obvious.

Babe: Yeah, well, it hasn't always just been burnt bread and giggles.

Amanda: I'm amazed how you could even do it -- live on the fly, fend for yourself.

Babe: Everything I've learned I've learned from my mama.

Amanda: She must be one smart, tough broad, as my dad would say.

Babe: She's everything I want to be. She's loyal and loving, and she'd fight the devil himself to keep me safe.

Amanda: Your mom sounds awesome. I would love to meet her.

Babe: I'm afraid that won't be so easy. Mama's a bit indisposed. She saved my butt again, and it landed her in prison.

Amanda: So let's go see her next time you visit.

Babe: You do realize that I am talking, like, a real prison? It's not like some club with bars or something.

Amanda: Babe, my mom made mistakes, too. One landed her in prison.

Babe: I didn't even realize.

Amanda: I'm not ashamed. My mom was locked up, but I still love her. I always will. She's my mom.

Babe: See, that's exactly how I feel!

Amanda: I knew from the second I met you that we had stuff in common. Dogs or cats?

Babe: Dogs.

Amanda: Boy band or when the hot one goes solo?

Babe: I am so embarrassed to admit it, but boy band.

Amanda: Hmm. Johnny Depp, Jude Law, or Colin Farrell?

Babe: None of the above.

Amanda: Yes! Congratulations. You are officially my new BFF.

J.R.: This -- this is tempting.

Ethan: All you have to do is sign. Chandler Enterprises, it's all yours. Think about this, J.R. You can succeed where your father failed. Your son? He can have his birthright.

J.R.: I'm touched. Really, I am. But you didn't attach the string. The one called Kendall Hart.

Ethan: You can have the precious family company back if you leave my fiancée alone.

[J.R. tear Ethan’s papers up]

Kendall: You know, I think this would work better if we had real alcohol.

Reggie: All right, I don't care what your delivery man says. I have no cake -- unless it had legs and just walked out of here.

Kendall: Ok. You ready to pull this off?

Greenlee: No, but we're out of time.

Myrtle: Erica? What's the trouble, darling?

Erica: Oh, Myrtle, the party is lovely.

Kendall: Everybody, please can we have your attention, please.

Greenlee: Ladies and gentlemen, Kendall and I have something to say to the bride and groom.

Kendall: Everyone, I would like to make a special toast -- a special, sparkling-cider toast. You first.

Greenlee: To Jackson and Erica.

Livia: Yes.

Opal: Yes. Hear, hear.

Greenlee: Erica, you and I have had our differences.

Opal: That's not the way I would put it, but --

Greenlee: There have been times where I've literally wanted to kill you.

Reggie: Well, my vote's with Erica.

Greenlee: And I know the feelings have been mutual. But I also know how much my father loves you, and I know that you are the only one who can make him truly happy. And once you marry him, I know you and I will grow to -- uh -- we'll find a way -- we'll --

Kendall: Out with it. Come on.

Greenlee: I know I'll grow to love my new stepmother.

Kendall: Ok, um, what I wanted to say --

Greenlee: Uh-uh, I'm not finished. And to my dad. We've been through some rough times lately, but I know it's only because you want to protect me and because you love me, and I love you for that. I can't wait to stand up for you at your wedding. I want you to be happy. I love you.

Jack: I love you, too, sweetheart.

Livia: Yes!

Kendall: Mm-hmm. Ok, you finished?

Greenlee: Yep.

Kendall: All right. Jack, I know I have caused my own sort of tension, shall we say, between you and my mother, and for that I'm truly sorry. You and my mother -- you're amazing. You show everyone here what love is all about. It's unconditional, loving, full of trust. My mother loves you and wants to have a life with you, Jack. You have to believe that. Sometimes we Kane women have a hard time embracing what we want, who we want, because sometimes we feel like we don't deserve it. My mother deserves to be happy. You deserve each other. So get married and be happy, please.

Livia: Yeah!

Kendall: And think about this amazing family that you'll gain from this marriage -- Reggie, Lily, Bianca, Miranda, me.

Greenlee: Ahem.

Kendall: Even Greenlee. One big happy family.

Opal: Whoo-hoo!

Reggie: Me and all my women.

Greenlee: Yeah, I know we've had our issues, but you're my -- you're my sister, and I love you.

Kendall: I love you, too -- sister.

Palmer: Where's the good scotch when a fellow wants one?

Greenlee: To Jackson and Erica.

All: To Jackson and Erica.

Greenlee: Hear, hear.

Kendall: So, why don't we hear a few words from the happy couple?

Lily: It looks really nice.

Sam: When I found out that I was adopted, it wasn't really crazy or anything, because I already had a real dad.

Lily: Well, now that your real dad is gone, are you going to get a new one? I'm getting a new mother.

Sam: I don't want Zach Slater, if that's what you mean.

Lily: No, I wasn't thinking of him at all.

Sam: Good, because he's --

Lily: I could use my private-investigating skills to help you find your biological father.

Sam: Don't worry about it.

Lily: You think I'm not smart enough to find him?

Sam: No, that's not what I meant.

Lily: That's what it sounded like.

Sam: Lily, I think you're really smart. The smartest girl I've ever known.

[When Sam closes in for a kiss, Lily runs off]

Lily: No. Don't touch.

Amanda: Even though things are crazy right now with J.R., I mean, I can tell that Jamie’s really happy.

Babe: I wish I could just make him happier.

Amanda: You do plenty, I see it. Ok, enough girlie "he's so great" stuff. Let's get to what's really important, like, what the hell is he thinking with that necklace?

Babe: He likes it. I --

Amanda: But, really, have you told him it's so 1997?

Babe: I know!

Amanda: Flannel shirt, hemp concert?

Babe: That's totally what I was thinking, but I was kind of thinking it was more like 1995, road trip to the beach, $5 souvenir, right?

Amanda: Don't say anything. Just take it off while he's asleep. Better yet, rip it off while you're in the middle of something-something and trash it.

Babe: You're so bad! You know, I haven't really had but one close girlfriend since I moved here, and things with that kind of --

Amanda: Well, it's not all fun and games. You're going to have to help me shop. Lacey's still have their killer holiday sales?

Babe: Oh, yeah. But you'd better plan on sticking around till at least the Labor Day one, even though you are going to have J.R. in your face.

Amanda: Don't worry. I plan on making good use of my time with J.R.

J.R.: God, does this look like your office?

Ethan: Alan? Yes. Listen, I want that Chandler deal to go through. That's right, the one that J.R. tried to kill just before his -- departure? -- Departure, departure. No, things have changed. Yeah, and would you do me a favor? Make sure you keep J.R.’s fingerprints all over it. Just get it done. Ok. Seems rather a shame, really, that you're not going to be around for the biggest deal of your career.

J.R.: I dropped that deal because Chandler Enterprises was set to lose millions of dollars.

Ethan: Too bad.

J.R.: It won't make you look too good, either.

Ethan: Well, I think it's only going to prove what a bad businessman you are and how right I was to fire you.

J.R.: Anyone who really matters will know that I had nothing to do with this.

Ethan: Yeah, but, you see, this is the first of many, many bad deals that Chandler’s going to go through in the very near future.

J.R.: You can't put the whole company down the toilet.

Ethan: Hold on to Kendall, and you will watch me flush Chandler Enterprises all the way down the drain.

Kendall: Will you two say something, please?

Lily: Sorry I'm late. I had to do something.

Reggie: Dad and Erica were about to make some speeches.

Lily: Good. I like speeches.

Myrtle: I'd like to say a few words to both.

Erica: Oh, no, Myrtle. That's ok. I have something to say. The wedding is off.

[With that, Erica removes the veil that Opal had placed on her head and departs]

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Man: I am running this show at Phoebe's request.

Brooke: Oh, Aunt Phoebe, what have you done now?

J.R. (to Jamie): You used your Aunt Phoebe to screw me over from beyond the grave.

Ryan: I have nothing that I want to say to you.

Kendall: You don't have to talk. Just take me to bed.

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