AMC Transcript Friday 5/6/05

All My Children Transcript Friday 5/6/05



By Amanda
Proofread by

[Music plays]

Ryan: I had some whiskey, I had some beer. I had a few shots, but I know I'm not that drunk.

Kendall: Oh, you heard me right. I want to restart our hookup, give us another chance.

Ryan: Hardly touched, so I know it's not your beer talking.

Kendall: I am stone-cold sober. All those men in my life -- forget them. If you're really done with Greenlee, take me back. I am all yours.

Singer: See, I got a hundred-dollar bill and love on my mind, yeah

Jamie: This is better.

Brooke: I needed to get out of that house.

Jamie: All the old memories of Aunt Phoebe?

Brooke: Well, one day I know I'll be able to wrap them around me like her old mink coat, but I'm just not ready to miss her yet.

Jamie: Don't even, Mom. You miss her now.

Brooke: I do. I have to make the funeral arrangements, so --

Jamie: When's the last time you closed your eyes?

Brooke: I don't know, I think the Spital Chapel.

Jamie: Well, go up to my old room, try to get some sleep. I'll make the calls.

Brooke: Oh, sweetie, I know you want to help and I love you for it, but I have to do this. I have to try and let it sink in that -- that she's gone.

[Knock on door]

Maria: Jamie, where's your mom?

Brooke: Oh, Maria.

Maria: You stole my kids, and I want them back!

Sam: Hey. Are you trying for a look that says "runaway"? Do you want security to send us back home? Sit.

Maddie: Mom must have read the note we left by now.

Sam: Yeah, right, if she ever made it home. Anyway, a few minutes, we jet off for Paris, Mom can't touch us. When we're out of here, no one will care whose kids we are.

Erica: How dare Jack keep me waiting. It's just a power play, I know it.

Mr. Babcock: Miss Kane, we can't begin the wedding walk-through without the groom.

Erica: Oh, really? Thank you. I've never done this before.

Reggie: All right, J -- he left his office hours ago, and his cell phone goes straight to voicemail.

Erica: I hate when that happens. Well, great. He's a no-show. How wonderful.

Lily: You mean it's not wonderful. It's called sarcasm. It's saying the exact opposite of what you mean, but it's not the same as a lie.

Mr. Babcock: This is my busy season. My schedule is very tight, and we're already running late. Miss Kane, when may we expect Mr. Montgomery?

Erica: When he gets here, obviously.

Mr. Babcock: But my schedule.

Erica: Your schedule will need adjustment.

Lily: I keep a schedule, too. It keeps me focused and calm.

Mr. Babcock: I'll trade you.

Reggie: Look, J will be here any minute, ok?

Mr. Babcock: Perhaps we should reschedule.

Erica: Look, Mr. Babcock, I am getting multiple headaches without your reminding me every two seconds of your anal-retentive timetable.

Jack: Ok, everybody, let's get this show on the road.

Erica: Ok! Two weeks from today, our wedding day -- you going to breeze in this late, too?

Jack: So where's Kendall? I thought she was supposed to be here.

Erica: Kendall is my worry, not yours, as you've made it so abundantly clear.

Mr. Babcock: Any chance this wedding won't make it down the aisle either?

Kendall: You know you do. We do. We were good, Ryan. We were so good no one could touch us.

Ryan: We were done a long time ago.

Kendall: Well, it's a brief little intermission, a little time-out. Now we're back, only we're ahead of the game. All you have to do is press play.

Ryan: It's broken, Kendall.

Kendall: Ryan, you're sitting here in a bar, drinking all by yourself in the morning. That is a full-blown marriage alert. Come on. If I'm what you want, I'm yours.

Greenlee: I'm so going to kill that lying, cheating husband stealer.

[Music plays]

Babe: Shh!

Greenlee: What, what -- hey, let go of me!

Babe: Shh. You don't know Kendallís game yet.

Greenlee: She's putting major moves on my husband.

Babe: Ok, you were there when Kendall set up Ryan to dis you and, well, you were part of that, weren't you? And he didn't talk trash, so that's a good thing, right?

Greenlee: My secret weapon is seducing my husband. Try slapping a happy face on that.

Babe: Ok -- shh -- listen. It took me a sec to figure it out, but I really think this is Kendallís plan. It's just stepped up a notch.

Greenlee: Try consulting your bartender guide -- "Conclusions that suck."

Babe: Kendall does her come-on, ok? She was for a comeback from Ryan.

Greenlee: A come-on wasn't part of the plan.

Babe: Oh, God, how far is it really going to go? It's not like they're going to go do the deed on the pool table or something. Just relax, let Kendall play it out.

Greenlee: As if you know anything about it.

Babe: I know that your husband is all kinds of lost and that you want to help him. But you popping up and yelling "Surprise" -- it's not going to help anyone.

Greenlee: Wow, the things you learn reading cocktail napkins.

Babe: He'll realize that you set him up, and then what? He's going to hate that. So how about you just stay down, shut up, and then just learn to trust your friends?

Greenlee: God, you give me so my new reasons to despise you. Anyone who trusts Kendall is a fool, and I know what that makes me.

Singer: Hey, baby hey, baby whoo!

Kendall: You know -- ahem -- it's really sad when a relationship falls to pieces. But, Ryan, it happens. You just have to cut your losses. Why don't you come home with me? I'll run a shower as hot as you can stand it, get in there, and it'll just be, you, me, all that steam, and a nice little bar of soap.

Erica: Mr. Babcock, this is just our teasing way of showing affection for each other. Of course this wedding is going to happen.

Jack: Absolutely. Wedding full speed ahead.

Mr. Babcock: Forgive me. I just picked up on a smidge of tension.

Erica: Well, in your line, I'm sure you're familiar with premarital jitters?

Reggie: She means "cold feet."

Lily: But the almanac forecasts that the rest of May will be unseasonably warm.

Jack: Actually, honey, Reggie was talking about nervousness.

Erica: Doubts.

Jack: Yes, you know, that sinking feeling you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life?

Erica: Which is so not where we are.

Jack: Oh, definitely not, definitely not. I've been waiting years to make an honest woman of Erica.

Erica: What is that supposed to mean?

Reggie: What they got for free, now they're going to pay for.

Jack: Mr. Babcock, if you are sensing a bit of an edge, it's just because we are so very excited about our big day.

Erica: The happiest day of our lives.

Mr. Babcock: Then we may proceed?

Jack: Absolutely. Let's get this over with. Let's get on with this.

Mr. Babcock: Let me see. Ahem.

Lily: The ceremony begins at 2:00 p.m.

Mr. Babcock: Mm-hmm.

Lily: I'm a bridesmaid, so I'll walk down the aisle at 2:02 p.m.

Reggie: Oh, and I'm the best man. I'm in charge of the rings, the bachelor party, and making sure J gets there bright and early with his shorts on.

Mr. Babcock: Yes. Well, 2:36 p.m. -- The doves.

Jack: Oh. Excuse me, the -- the what?

Mr. Babcock: The doves. Part of the ceremony, feathered symbols of your eternal union.

Erica: I told you about the doves, darling.

Jack: Oh, I don't think you did, sweetheart.

Erica: No, I'm sure I did.

Jack: Oh, dear, I think I would remember wailing birds.

Erica: They hardly wail.

Mr. Babcock: I should say not. I've arranged for 24 milk-white doves to be released and flock through the skylight when you're introduced as husband and wife.

Reggie: You better pray those doves have been fasting.

Lily: Dad? Dad, birds are a link to the dinosaurs, especially the raptors.

Erica: It'll be breathtaking. Camera 1 will get the wide shot while camera 3 zooms in as they wing their way up the skylight.

Jack: My God, are we talking about our wedding here or an Alfred Hitchcock remake?

Erica: I'm going to videotape the doves, the whole ceremony, for my new TV show. It'll be our new beginning. I'm sure I told you about this.

Jack: Can we take 5, please, over there? Just over there.

Erica: Oh.

Lily: I thought that weddings were supposed to make the bride and groom's mouth turn up. But Dad and Erica's are turned down. Am I getting it wrong or are they mad at each other?

Reggie: No, Lily, you're not getting it wrong. I wish you were, though.

Maddie: I hate flying. My ears always pop.

Sam: Ok, I'll get you some gum. Now, watch our stuff, read your magazine, shuffle through your tunes, act bored like the suits in business class. No one will look at you twice.

Maddie: I can do bored.

Zach: Whoa. Hey, Sam.

Sam: Slater. Where are you headed?

Zach: Vegas, unfinished business. You?

Sam: Oh, um -- well, Mom's sending me and Maddie to stay with friends until we're not the town's most embarrassing headline.

Zach: Don't believe what's in that story.

Sam: Breaking stories, breaking lives. You know about that, right?

Maria: Sam, Maddie? You better get in here right now! Do you hear me?

Jamie: Maria, your kids aren't here.

Maria: Where did you hide them, Brooke?

Jamie: My mom's not hiding anyone.

Maria: No, I know they have to be here. My kids ran away and, of course, they would come to you because you're the one that they love and trust.

Brooke: You listen to me! If you drove your kids out of your house, it's your fault. You lay the blame on your doorstep and not mine. You and you alone drove them out of your house, out of your life.

Maria: Oh, and you are just loving this, aren't you?

Jamie: Does it look like my mom's loving anything right now? Two words -- back off. My mom just lost the closest thing she had to a mother. She doesn't need you in her face. I know all about the crud you pulled on her at the dinner. It stops right now, right here.

Tad: What the hell's going on? James, do me a favor. Take your mother in the kitchen and make her a cup of tea. So what did I just walk in on?

Maria: Me, at it again. I -- my kids ran away and I came over here, screamed like a banshee at Brooke for stealing them. I don't know what I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Tad: Well, if the kids are gone, aside from being scared for them and mourning Edmund, you probably have a monster hangover, from what I understand, and that's not necessarily a good combination.

Maria: Yeah, but it's out of control. I mean, it's truly out of control. I just run around town spewing unforgivable things to everybody.

Tad: Forgiveness is an inside job. If it means anything, I've found that people in Pine Valley generally have a very short memory, which is a blessing because if they didn't, I wouldn't have a friend in the world.

Maria: Well, look, don't be nice to me, because I certainly don't deserve it. I'm so sick of myself right now, as is most of Pine Valley, I'm sure. And I've just been this angry, blaming, self-pity queen, and -- and the only thing that matters right now truly is finding my kids.

Tad: I'm on the same page with you there.

Maria: I just need to -- I need to focus. I need to focus on my kids, because it's all that really matters and then just put everything else in the "To hell with everything else" pile.

Tad: Come on, you always put your children first. Everybody knows what your family means to you.

Maria: Yeah, but it's one thing to say it and it's another thing to really -- I mean, I need to take responsibility for letting these kids down. I don't want them to have to suffer for one more stupid thing that I've done. Do you -- will you help me find them, please?

Tad: You know I will.

Erica: Honestly, Jack, if I thought you were going to quibble over every tiny detail --

Jack: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Doves are not a tiny detail. Neither are camera crews or ice sculptures carved from Arctic glaciers, whatever.

Erica: Oh, I never mentioned a word about ice sculptures from the Arctic, although now that you mention it --

Jack: No, no, no. No, no.

Erica: Ok, look, I know that I told you about the camera crews. Don't you remember? The other morning you were gargling in the bathroom, and I asked for your approval and you gargled "yes."

Jack: How does one gargle "yes" exactly?

[Erica gargles]

Jack: Are you kidding?

Erica: Please, never mind. Let's not go there, let's not talk about that. Let's not debate who remembers what, ok? Let's just look towards our future -- I mean, assuming that we have one.

Jack: Oh, you bet we have one. The wedding date is set. Forward march.

Erica: There, you see what I mean? "Forward march"? You make our wedding sound like something -- like a battlefield that you have to slog through.

Jack: Well, there are similarities.

Erica: Ok, I guess you're just trying to be funny. But I wish you could be a little less combative. I mean, I want a husband, not a field marshal.

Jack: Ok, ok, ok, ok. Let's just talk, ok? Let's just talk about these doves, honey.

Erica: They are a symbol of peace and tranquility.

Jack: Ok, sweetheart, I get that, but who pays the dry-cleaning bills when these symbols of tranquility of ours dump their payloads on our guests?

Erica: Ok, I take it you don't want the doves.

Jack: I love doves, ok? What I don't want is a three-ring circus complete with animal acts and -- and camera crews and spotlights.

Erica: Jack, this is it. This is my final walk down the aisle, and I saved the best for last. And I want our wedding to be so completely unique to us. I mean, if I could hire a thousand trained fireflies to spell out "I love you, Jack" in neon, I would. If I could squeeze the Philharmonic in here to play our wedding march, I would do it in a heartbeat. With your help and with your love, I can make our day more special than anything you ever dreamed of. You wouldn't deny me that happiness, would you?

Jack: So, about this camera crew -- will they be wearing tuxedos, as well?

Ryan: You are beautiful, Kendall. You are. You're beyond beautiful. Your eyes -- they, like, glow. And your hair, this wild hair against the perfect skin, you look -- you're a goddess. You really are beautiful. You also have the most pathetic excuse of a heart that I have ever seen, and you need help, like, now. And if you don't get it soon, you're going to bend some guy so far out of shape that he will choke you to death just to stop the madness.

Kendall: You're kidding, right?

Ryan: Come on, Kendall. I love Greenlee. She owns my heart and soul, whatever soul I have left, so don't try to play me. Don't do this, ok? Just stop.

Kendall: I wasn't playing you.

Ryan: No, stop.

Kendall: I wasn't.

Ryan: I would give you the number of Jonathan's therapist but he's about as useless as you are.

Kendall: What the hell are you doing, Greenlee?

Greenlee: As soon as I break this sucker, I'm going to use the jagged edge on you!

Tad: Thanks, D. Listen, Derek's going to roll out a little extra muscle, but before we start, it would help if we knew where the kids originally cut loose from.

Maria: Uh, well, sometime after their mother defiled their father's memory and then made a complete ass of herself in front of the entire town, but -- hold on one sec -- but Anita supposedly got them off to school this morning, because their mother again was so plowed that I didn't make it even home last night.

Tad: You know, I realize how well guilt goes with a hangover, but if the kids are missing for now, beating yourself up probably isn't the answer.

Maria: Well, everybody has sort of given me a pass lately because of the grief, the stress, the whatever, but that's -- it's no excuse for behaving so badly.

Tad: Maria, everybody deserves a second chance. I mean, you know, speaking personally, I know the next time I make a village idiot out of myself -- not that that's as far as you took it. I mean, I wasn't there, so -- it was a good show. Anyway, I know that if I did something like that, I would be able to use all the slack I could get.

Maria: But everybody's been walking around me like I've got some big sign around my neck that says, "Do not disturb. Shh -- do not wake up the sleeping disaster."

Tad: What really happened last night?

Maria: Oh, God, I was the unstoppable, unshutuppable Maria Grey.

Tad: Well, you certainly seemed to find the one person in town unwilling to give you any slack. You.

Maria: I don't deserve any slack. But my kids don't deserve this.

Tad: Maria, kids get in trouble. They run away. It's what they do -- like drinking out of the carton, irritating their parents.

Maria: Yeah, but this just feels different to me, because I have let my kids fend for themselves so often that now they obviously think they can. Like Sam spent a whole semester abroad in high school, and now he thinks he's like the big, worldly man, but Maddie's just a little girl. They have no idea how dangerous it is out there.

Tad: Sam and Maddie are good kids. They're smart. I'm sure they'll be fine until we find them.

Maddie: What's he doing here?

Sam: Slater? Headed for Vegas.

Maddie: I so don't trust him.

Sam: Yeah, me either. Be cool or we'll get busted.

Maddie: Think he followed us?

Sam: Get real.

Maddie: I don't hear them calling for any flights for Vegas. What's up with that?

Sam: Do I look like an airline jockey to you? Just read your boy band magazine and chill out.

Maddie: It's not a boy band magazine!

Sam: Please. "Is Eurania the next Britney?" Who gives a rip?

Maddie: Like you read "Tempo." That's such an act. You never read that when Dad was alive.

Sam: All right, Maddie, don't act like you know me, ok? Just get back to your girl trash.

Maddie: You're not Dad. You don't make the rules. You're just my stupid brother.

Sam: If you feel that way, why don't you go home with her? I can do this on my own.

Zach: Is there a problem?

Sam: Yeah, it's you. Why don't you blow off, or I'll call security.

Maddie: Yeah, we don't need your help.

Zach: Does your mother know that you're traveling alone?

Sam: What did I tell you?

Maddie: It was totally her idea.

Zach: You know what? Let's call her so you can say good-bye before you take off.

Sam: Why don't you blow off for Vegas?

Maddie: Yeah, you're so not the boss of us.

Zach: I know that. Let's call her anyway.

PA Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Flight 1219 bound for New York will begin preboarding at gate 5. Platinum Club members, first-class passengers, those needing assistance, or children traveling alone, please have your passports and boarding passes out.

Erica: RCW is sending a full crew to videotape our ceremony, and then I plan to feature it on my first show --

Jack: Please --

Erica: As a special gift to my viewers.

Jack: Excuse me. When did our exchange of sacred vows become a reality TV show ratings grab?

Erica: Is that how you see it?

Jack: Yeah.

Erica: No, Jack. I see it as a -- as a very warm, a very intimate way to connect my fans to my family and my new husband.

Nancy: Excuse me. Hello.

Jack: Oh, hi. Hi.

Nancy: Jack, I know I'm early, but can you squeeze me in now?

Erica: Well, Jack, I certainly hope that our little wedding walk-through isn't interfering with your work.

Jack: Erica, this is Dr. Nancy Stern. She's a psychologist and an expert in domestic abuse.

Nancy: It's a pleasure, Miss Kane.

Erica: Thank you. And -- and you are meeting with Jack because --

Jack: Because she's agreed to take a meeting with Greenlee to explain to her the dangers of living with Ryan.

Erica: You're having your own daughter brainwashed?

Greenlee: Do you have any presmashed beer bottles back there?

Babe: The only thing that comes in here presmashed are the customers.

Kendall: You really want to hit me with a broken beer bottle?

Greenlee: Oh, don't worry. The alcohol residue will kill off the germs, just leave scars -- no nasty infections.

Babe: Ok, ok, girls. Seriously, if you guys want to mix it up, you're going to have to take it outside. No shoes, no shirt, no bloodshed between best friends.

Greenlee and Kendall: Best friends?

Greenlee: Ha!

Kendall: Please, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, why did you go all gangster on me all of a sudden? Were you not listening? Ryan and you are completely permabonded for reasons that might make me hurl if I even think about them. I mean, how good could you possibly be in bed? You know what? You know what? Answer that, and I will beat you.

Babe: Ok, I'll take that.

Greenlee: You want to puke? What was that come-on to Ryan all about? "You're done with Greenlee, take me. I'm yours. Come home with me, my hunky lover. I'll make a shower as hot as you can stand it -- just you, me, and Mr. Bubble"!

Kendall: You know what the hell I was doing. I was doing what we had talked about, our plan. I was trying to get Ryan to talk about his real feelings for you.

Greenlee: We never said anything about you offering yourself gift-wrapped with soap on a rope.

Kendall: Well, hello. Do I look stupid to you? I knew you were listening.

Greenlee: That's what made it so sweet. You couldn't resist trying to snag my husband if there was a chance that he'd give in so you could rub it in my face.

Kendall: No, I was working his love for you, not trying to seduce him.

Greenlee: Really? Well, what if he was so drunk out of his mind that he actually took you up on your whore/slut offer?

Kendall: I have a marriage proposal from Zach Slater, a broken engagement with Ethan, and I just hooked up with J.R. What the hell do I need with Ryan in my life?

Babe: You had sex with J.R.? Oh, Ryan was right. You are loco.

Greenlee: Who invited you into this fight?

Kendall: Yeah, there's a passed-out drunk in the parking lot just dying to meet you.

Babe: You realize you getting in bed with J.R. Chandler -- that is like signing your name in blood with the Prince of Darkness.

Greenlee: Babe, thanks for the heads-up -- you know, Ryan warming a barstool, throwing back drinks -- but if I can speak for myself and be seductress --

Kendall: Mm-hmm.

Greenlee: We still don't like you.

Babe: Go ahead. You guys can roast me on open coals for what I did to Bianca, but it is my duty as a survivor to warn people off J.R. Oh -- and tips are greatly appreciated.

Kendall: Here's a tip, Babe. Leave town!

Greenlee: What would you have done if my husband accepted your offer for a nice, hot shower?

Kendall: I don't know, I was just going for a reaction. I didn't script ahead. But, hey, you got what you wanted. He loves you and only you, even though he got a better offer.

Greenlee: You're so lucky I didn't break that bottle.

Kendall: Excuse me, hello? I put my reputation on the line, and I don't even get a thank-you?

Greenlee: What reputation?

Erica: Now you've brought in a head shrinker to come between Ryan and Greenlee?

Jack: Excuse us, Nancy, for a moment, will you please? Listen to me. Dr. Stern has testified as an expert witness in dozens and dozens of domestic abuse cases. What she doesn't know about this subject isn't worth knowing.

Erica: Oh, well, that would be great if Greenlee were involved in some sort of domestic crisis, which, thank God, she is not.

Jack: Oh --

Mr. Babcock: Miss Kane, Mr. Montgomery, when you're ready to begin a proper walk-through, call my assistant.

Reggie: No, no, wait. Hey, Doc, come here. No, we're not done yet! Get --

Lily: Dad, I -- I want to go to my safe place now, please, for a little bit.

Jack: Oh, honey, I was hoping we'd have a nice -- you know, some nice family time here.

Lily: Um, I'll be back in a little bit. You said I could go if I feel anxious or nervous?

Jack: You're -- you're nervous?

Lily: It's ok, Dad. Don't worry. I know how to take good care of myself.

Jack: I know you do. You have your cell phone with you, right? Ok, well, I love you.

Lily: Love you, too.

Reggie: It seems like you sent the wedding planner to his safe place, also.

Erica: Dr. Stern? Dr. Stern, I understand you are very good at what you do. But, as usual, Jack, as an overprotective father -- well, he has exaggerated Greenlee's domestic situation. Really, there is no need for you to get between Greenlee and her husband.

Nancy: Miss Kane, from what Jack's told me --

Jack: When did you become an expert in these matters?

Erica: Well, I certainly know that Ryan would never hurt Greenlee the way Zach is planning to hurt Kendall.

Jack: You are so wrapped up in trying to save Kendall from Zach Slater, I don't think you see the very real trouble that Greenlee is in. So maybe you're not the best judge of how to help my daughter?

Reggie: All right. Hey, Doc, listen -- we have a bit of our own domestic drama going on here right now, so what do you say you and my dad take care of this later? He'll pay you for your wasted time.

Jack: I think that might be best. Can I give you a call a little bit later, Nancy? Thank you.

Nancy: No problem.

Reggie: Ok, you two, it's my turn to talk now, ok? Afterwards, you still want to chew on each other's hearts -- go ahead, dig in.

Zach: Excuse me, I'm sorry. Hi. This is an emergency.

Agent: Sir, you want to stand back?

Zach: Ok. You've got two teenaged runaways trying to get on this plane.

Agent: I'm sorry, sir, but if they're ticketed --

Zach: Fine. Hi. Do me a favor, pull up the passenger list. Samuel and Madeline Grey -- they're traveling without parental permission. Do it. If you let them on this plane, this could be a major lawsuit.

Agent: There you go. Parental permission is on file for both passengers.

Zach: Sammy? Sammy? Did you forge your mother's signature? Don't do this, Sam. Sam!

Agent: Sir --

Zach: Ok, all right. Sammy!

Sam: You can't just yank us off the plane!

Maddie: We didn't do anything wrong!

Agent: I just need to call your mom to verify her permission for you to fly without an adult.

Maddie: You can't do that!

Sam: Listen, Zach Slater -- he's the problem. Do a background check on him, see what you find.

Agent: There's no answer at your house. I can't let you board the plane.

Zach: Let me take you home. Come on.

Sam: Hey, get away from us!

Agent: Security, we've got a situation at gate 5.

Sam: Maddie, run.

Zach: Sam?

Sam: Maddie!

Maddie: Go. I'll be ok.

Zach: Sam?

Maddie: Get off of me!

Zach: Hey. Let me take you home, Maddie.

Maddie: No, don't touch me. I hate you. I hate you! Get off.

[Door opens]

Greenlee: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you all crazy by disappearing.

Ryan: Sure you did. It was payback, and I deserved it.

Greenlee: That's not what we're about.

Ryan: Well, I did it first. You made me realize what it feels like to be the one left behind. You threw it in my face, and that's one of the reasons why I married you -- because you don't take anything from anybody.

Greenlee: Neither do you. That's why we're so great together. So, we're even now. Right?

Ryan: Right.

Greenlee: Good. So let's treat ourselves right for a change -- take the day off, surprise each other.

Babe: Kendall. You can hate me all you want. But I'm serious, you need to watch out for J.R. You think that you have an up on him, but -- but blink and you're going to be up to your curls in quicksand. He could hurt you bad.

Kendall: Same as you hurt him?

Babe: You got me there. Just watch your back, ok?

Kendall: I know what you're doing, Babe. You're trying to score mercy points, so we'll forgive and forget what you did to Bianca. I will make a pilgrimage to Graceland before I accept your forgiveness and your little sainted sister act. You're not going to get your wings pretending to be nice to me.

Babe: Ok. You stick with J.R., and how about let's have this conversation, I don't know, maybe a year from now? And we'll see who's right and who's sorry.

Reggie: Look, I love a good fight -- I do -- but not when it's you two coming out swinging.

Jack: Reggie, look, you -- you don't have to do this.

Reggie: Yes, I do. I get this wedding stuff. It's high stress -- the plans, every little detail, opinions. Important opinions. Good reason to keep the guns locked up.

Erica: Reggie, I just have a lot more experience in this.

Reggie: Then get it right, then. You and J, you're it for each other. Take the gloves off. You already forced Lily out of here, because you two were at each other's throats. Neither one of you is ever going to agree on what's best for Kendall or Greenlee, so just stay off each other's turf. You guys should know way better than to try to force your own kids to do what you want them to do.

Erica: Who needs Dr. Stern when we have our own resident expert here?

Jack: Yeah, exactly. How did you get so smart anyway, buddy, huh?

Reggie: I'm just learning from you two, all right? Me and Lily, we don't care if you have bugs with roller skates or naked ice sculptures --

Jack: Whoa, whoa, don't get any ideas with the naked ice sculpture, ok?

Reggie: Just as long as you guys get hooked up the way you're supposed to.

Maria: Ok, but you'll let me know? Thank you. Thanks. Brooke, please, please let me apologize. I am so -- I am so sorry, and not for just barging in here like an idiot just now, but also for last night and every single thing that I said. I was so -- I was so off base and I regret every single thing I said.

Brooke: Let's just forget it.

Maria: No, I can't. I really can't because today is one of those days that you wonder how you're even going to get through, and I just came in here and -- and made it worse for you and -- I mean, phoebe was truly one of a kind, and Pine Valley will not be the same without her, so please accept my -- my condolences and my heartfelt apology.

Brooke: Thank you. I know that fear when you don't know if your children are safe.

[Phone rings]

Tad: Talk to me. You found them? Ok, no, no, no. We'll be right there.

Maria: Is it Sam and Maddie?

Tad: We got them.

Erica: So the catering manager has samples of all the dishes to be served at our reception. Why don't you two try everything and then report back?

Jack: Ok, ok. Well, I certainly hope they have breast of dove on the menu. Just had to get that one in.

Kendall: Oh, mother, I am so sorry I'm late. I had an errand of mercy. Mother, you ok?

Erica: Yes. Hi, sweetheart.

Kendall: All right, no offense, but where's your glow? Where is everybody? What happened?

Erica: Kendall, can I -- can I talk to you? I mean, can I share something with you that very personal that I have never even said out loud?

Kendall: Yes, of course. Mother, you know you can tell me anything. What is it? What's wrong?

Erica: I'm not sure I can go through with this wedding.

Maria: Maddie? Oh, my God. Are you ok?

Maddie: Mom, it was horrible. He came after us. He tried to kidnap me and Sam!

Maria: Who did?

Maddie: Don't let him hurt me, Mommy. Please don't let him hurt me!

Brooke: Yes. Yeah, orchids were one of my aunt's favorites. Thank you. I will be by later this afternoon to finalize arrangements.

[Knock on door]

Brooke: All right, thanks. Bye-bye.

Adam: Brooke. You saved my life.

Greenlee: Surprise, surprise!

Ryan: Where'd that come from?

Greenlee: Ah, I pulled it out of a hat.

Greenlee: Mm-hmm. For the next time you and the bike hit the road. Cuts way down on glare. Try them on, try them on, try them on, try them on. Oh -- are you cool, or what?

Ryan: Thank you. I love them.

Greenlee: I'll totally get it if you don't have a lock on my surprise.

Ryan: No, I do. But it's not the kind of surprise that I -- you know, I can wrap up.

Greenlee: Oh. Should I close my eyes?

Ryan: No, keep them open. I want you to look right at me.

Ryan: Let's get a divorce.

>> Stay tuned for scenes from the next "all my children."

[ Male announcer ]

Denture wearers--

>> On the next "all my children" --

Ethan: I need to speak with you. Things have changed.

Greenlee: Whatever big plan you and Jack came up with, forget about it. I won't divorce you.

Maddie: Who are you going to believe, me or this man who ruined our lives?

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