AMC Transcript Thursday 5/5/05

All My Children Transcript Thursday 5/5/05

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By Amanda

Proofread by Gisele

J.R.: What -- wait a minute. Wait a minute, you're not Kendall.

Woman: Oh, my God! What are doing?

J.R.: Who are you? Who the hell are you?

Woman: Hey, take it easy. I didn't hurt anything.

J.R.: Wait -- what happened to the cameras? Where are the cameras at?

Woman: What are you talking about?

J.R.: Wait a minute, this is not going to fly. There is no judge in the whole world that would buy this setup.

Woman: You're J.R., aren't you?

J.R.: Are you afraid you got the wrong guy? How much did you get paid, huh?

Woman: Hey!

J.R.: Huh? How much? How much did Babe pay you?

Woman: Pay me for what?

J.R.: What's the going rate for underage sluts? I want to know how much Babe shelled out to get you into my bed.

Babe: Hey, good morning, Jimbo. How was the shift? Was it a rough one?

Jim: Pretty quiet. I've restocked for you.

Babe: All right. Thanks. How about that guy? Has he been here long?

Jim: A while. He's got a tab.

Babe: All right, have a good one. Morning. If you're up for breakfast, we've got some peanut butter crackers.

Ryan: Peanut butter crackers won't cut it.

Di: You do know me from the mountain that night. And -- and you were here the day J.R. hired me.

Tad: That's not it. Haven't you ever felt like you know somebody even though it seems impossible?

Di: Maybe we met in another life.

Tad: You mean like gambling on a Mississippi riverboat?

Di: No, no, I think it was Paris. The French revolution. You remember the quiet evenings near the guillotine after a long day's work of rounding up the rich and selfish.

Tad: Yeah. Now, instead of disposing of them, you work for them.

Di: Or maybe it's not past lives at all. Maybe it's something completely different.

Tad: Like what?

Kendall: So, why shouldn't we get married today? We can go to Vegas. I'm sure you know plenty of chapels. Maybe an ordained Elvis. All right, I was joking about the Elvis. We could do -- any minister is fine. Or a judge -- a justice of the peace. You proposed to me. This is me accepting your proposal. So, our little courtship is over. Let's do the deed now.

[Kendall turns around and sees Maria and Ethan silently standing there.]

Kendall: Maria? Well, I'm surprised they let you come down here for breakfast. You know, Ethan’s eggs benedict -- they really are five star. Right, right. But then again, they don't let you have hot plates here in the rooms at the Valley Inn. So maybe you could just take him to Wildwind. He could poach to his heart's content.

Ethan: Some people don't need a hot plate to poach, eh, Zach?

Kendall: You know what? Why don't you two compare recipes, and I'll be right back. Don't start the wedding without me. What -- what is it?

Greenlee: I need your help.

Kendall: Ok -- I'm sorry. Well, unless we're going to a chapel or a courthouse, I can't go anywhere with you. I'm getting married. I'm getting married.

Greenlee: First we solve my crisis, then you can leap into yours. We have a huge problem, Kendall.

Kendall: Well, that's too bad.

Greenlee: Wait, did you hear me? We have a huge problem. If you value your life, you'll come with me now.

Kendall: But Zach and I --

Greenlee: Zach and Maria and Ethan can find plenty to talk about while we're gone. Come on.

Kendall: Oh, God, you –

Ethan: You all right? He didn't hurt you last night?

Maria: No, of course not.

Ethan: I wanted to burst back in there and beat the hell out of him, but I didn't want to make matters worst for you.

Zach: I should have thrown you out the window instead of the door.

Ethan: I'm right here, Zach. I'm not going anywhere.

Maria: Oh, you know what? Stop. Both of you, just stop.

Greenlee: Out of order. Anyone in here? Ryan's gone.

Kendall: How do you mean?

Greenlee: Gone, disappeared, missing. That makes two nights in a row that he's been out all night.

Kendall: Ok, for those of us who missed a few episodes, please rewind.

Greenlee: I know I really did it this time, Kendall. I've driven Ryan away for good.

Kendall: All right. But we're in the war room, so you must have a secret weapon or something.

Greenlee: You're looking at it.

Kendall: Me? No, I can't --

Greenlee: You're going to help me get Ryan back.

Maria: No, you want to marry Kendall to hurt him, and you are -- took me upstairs last night to hurt him.

Ethan: I took good care of you, Maria.

Maria: Oh, ok, well, it's a little bit fuzzy, but you didn't do anything, and you were a gentleman. Thank you very much. But you took me upstairs on purpose to make him mad. And I also was using you to make you mad, too, and you knew it. And you were very kind to me anyway, and thank you.

Zach: You're welcome.

Maria: So, I am, believe me, in no position to be able to preach to anybody. But this is -- you're both good guys, ok? Put you in the same room, and you combust. It's real -- it's crazy. Ok, I can't make the peace between the two of you, but I really think that you should probably -- I'm not going to be caught in the middle of this war anymore, ok? I am done.

Kendall: If you had only listened to me --

Greenlee: I know, ok? I wish I had.

Kendall: No, but you had to pull the whole bundle-of-joy card. How in the hell can you trick Ryan into making a baby?

Greenlee: I just wanted nature to take its course.

Kendall: Yes, well, where did that get you? And who -- who told you you should do the nonconfrontational, nonsneaky approach?

Greenlee: You. You, you, you!

Kendall: Yes, ok? And we both know what that means. Go on, say it.

Greenlee: That is so childish.

Kendall: Say it -- I know just as much about Ryan as you do.

Greenlee: I'll have "Kendall told me so" carved on my tombstone, ok?

Kendall: Ok. Ok, so Ryan left you a message, right? So why didn't you call him back?

Greenlee: I did. Only, I waited.

Kendall: You play the telephone waiting game and you call me childish?

Greenlee: It wasn't like that. All right, it was.

Kendall: That kind of stuff doesn't work with Ryan.

Greenlee: No kidding.

Kendall: That's how I lost him.

Greenlee: Whatever, just help me find him.

Kendall: Fine, ok, I will help you right after I become Mrs. Zach Slater -- I will help you.

Greenlee: No, you know what? Your joke of a wedding can wait. This is a real emergency. Help me find him. Just hold the criticism.

Kendall: Who is criticizing?

Greenlee: You come off like the high court of Ryan.

Kendall: Well, you could learn from my mistakes.

Greenlee: Well, help me find him first.

Kendall: All right, fine. Just tell me something, Greenlee. Do you honestly regret trying to trick Ryan into fatherhood? Or are you just sorry that he caught you?

Babe: I guess you're not feeling so good.

Ryan: I feel all right.

Babe: I -- I just mean you're -- you're not really in a good place.

Ryan: I've been in worse.

Babe: Look, I -- I know it's none of my business, but it's, like, 11:00 in the morning, and -- and you already have a tab going. And no offense, but you kind of look like you rode in here on the bottom of your motorcycle.

Ryan: It's been a long night.

Babe: You'd probably rather talk to anyone else besides me.

Ryan: Yeah? I'm in no position to judge anybody.

Babe: Then you wouldn't mind - if I asked you a question, you won't get mad?

Ryan: Go -- go ahead.

Babe: How's the baby doing?

Ryan: Where do you get -- don't you ever bring up a baby with me, ever. Do you understand that?

Woman: No, see, you don't get it. I am Amanda.

J.R.: Amanda, Missy, Bambi -- I really don't care. You know what? I know that this is a frame-up. If it wasn't my own house, I would assume that cops and photographers would be busting through here. How did you get in here anyway? Did Babe give you a key?

Amanda: You know what? You have no right to accuse me of what you're accusing me of!

J.R.: She's trying to get me on a morals charge. God, she's so inept! How old are you anyway, huh? 16? 17?

Amanda: I'm legal.

J.R.: Ok, "Legal." Get dressed. I'm having the cops come arrest you as an adult.

Di: Can I tell someone you're here?

Tad: If you do, they'll just have the guards throw me out.

Di: But you came to speak to someone, didn't you?

Tad: Yeah. I wanted to see how my vision from the mountaintop was doing here in the wax museum.

Di: Oh, it's -- it's not that bad.

Tad: No, it's worse. Given your notice yet?

Di: No. And I'm not going to.

Tad: Hmm.

Di: I like my job here.

Tad: Really? Even with Adam barking at everybody every day?

Di: His bark is worse than his bite.

Tad: Yeah, well, that's only because his bicuspids have been worn down from decades of gnashing and snarling.

Di: Mr. Chandler is relatively harmless.

Tad: Sure, in a mass-murdery kind of way.

Di: How do you fit in with the Chandlers?

Tad: I don't, thank God.

Di: No, I mean are you a --

Tad: I was married to J.R.’s mother, Dixie -- before she escaped from Adam.

Di: Together forever. Wow. You're upset. I'm sorry. It just came out. I didn't mean to --

Tad: Dixie and I -- some couples have Paris or a song. We used to say that to each other.

Di: I didn't mean to --

Tad: How did you know about it?

Di: J.R. -- We were talking the other night about his mom, about how she left his father, and then found someone and thought that they would be together forever. I'm -- I'm sorry.

Tad: Don't be. After all, everybody's got some baggage in their closet.

Di: Oh -- you didn't come by just to see how I was doing. You're sniffing around.

Tad: Excuse me?

Di: Babe is -- is still worried about that crazy driver who almost hit me, and you want to find out if maybe she's right, and I'm a threat to little Adam.

Tad: That's correct. That's exactly what I want to find out.

J.R.: Tad. Yeah, great. You know what? It all makes sense now. It didn't work, and it won't fly.

Tad: What won't?

J.R.: Well, first you come up with this scam about my mother surviving this crash, and now you plant a teen hooker in my bed?

Tad: That's not really my style, J.R.

J.R.: What sort of warped harassment trip are you on anyway?

Amanda: Tad, I'm so glad to see you.

J.R.: Would pay her and get her out?

Amanda: J.R., chill a second so I can explain.

Tad: Sweetheart, what are you doing here.

J.R.: You know what? That's it. That's it, I'm calling the cops.

Tad: If you do, they'll be arresting Hayley’s cousin. Amanda Dillon.

Babe: It's an "I'm sorry" offering. Just so you know, I'll never forgive myself for what I did to Bianca and Miranda. That was selfish and I was stupid, and of course, we all know that. But I do still love them and I -- and know that love them, too, so – I just -- thought you could tell me how Miranda was doing, that's all.

Ryan: Bianca and Maggie are – they're fine. And they're apparently, they're enjoying themselves over there.

Babe: Paris, I mean -- how bad could it be, right? And Miranda --

Ryan: Well, we didn't really talk much about the baby, but, you know. I'm sure she's fine.

Babe: We can't really call her that for much longer. I mean, they change so much at that little age. Little Adam -- he's such a big boy now. Like every time I see him, he changes. Every -- every visit, he just sprouts up. Look, I'm kind of new at this whole bartending thing, but I -- I do know that I have this all backwards. I'm -- I'm supposed to be the one doing -- the listening, and you're supposed to be doing the talking --

[Honky-tonk music plays]

Babe: Well, if you want. You know, I promise I can shut up and listen. I've been in all sorts of weird situations and everything.

Ryan: Yeah, you've been a busy girl. As far as weird situations goes, I got you beat. And I really appreciate the offer and everything, but this -- you just wouldn't really understand this.

Babe: Miranda in Paris -- I bet she'll speak French. Probably even more than English. I'll have to ask J.R. about getting French lessons --

Ryan: Babe. Can I just get another beer, please?

Singer: Talk to me, baby

Greenlee: I'll never be sorry for wanting a baby with Ryan.

Kendall: Yeah, but the way you went about it --

Greenlee: Don't.

Kendall: You're hopeless.

Greenlee: It's not as if I was being selfish. Ryan wanted a baby, too, until he started believing that me might be like his brothers and his father.

Kendall: That's crazy.

Greenlee: I know. But it's eating away at him, and I don't know how else to reach him. If he could just see what an amazing father he would be -- but that's shot to hell.

Kendall: Will he see someone?

Greenlee: What, like a shrink? Forget it. He's not communicating with anyone these days. He's totally shut down.

Kendall: But you must know how to get through to him.

Greenlee: All I know is that I'm terrified this is the beginning of the end for Ryan and me.

Kendall: But you won't give up.

Greenlee: Jonathan couldn't split us up. I'll die trying to reach Ryan. I just need some insight. I don't know what he's thinking or what he's feeling. If his anger is at me, or is it directed at his family, or has he stopped loving me? Whether I want the answers or not, I have to know. So, are you with me?

Kendall: Please -- I was just testing you. You had me at "secret weapon."

Maria: You used to really care about Ethan. You know, he actually denied you to protect you. And then when you went after Cambias Industries -- in the beginning anyway -- you did it to save him, not to hurt him.

Ethan: Maria, please, you don't --

Maria: And then you came to Pine Valley -- stop -- you came to Pine Valley to find your father, not to destroy your father. And now you are all -- you are all about hate and vengeance. And every single thing that you do now is actually fueled by your hate. And this is so much bigger than just the money or the power. This actually goes to who you both are. And it's cruel and it's vicious. And it's got to stop. And you know where you're both headed? Right here. And it's not pretty to be me right now, ok? Now, you can both destroy each other if you want to, but what I think maybe you should do -- come to a draw or a truce or something while you can still breathe and think -- and you can still get on with your lives.

Greenlee: Ok, step one, find Ryan. If he's still on his bike, he could be on the far side of Indiana.

Kendall: Well, he likes speed. Maybe we can check with the police. Maybe he's been pulled over and ticketed.

Greenlee: Well, that's a good place to start. Or maybe Tad can help us --

[Phone rings]

Kendall: Is it Ryan?

Greenlee: No. Hello?

Babe: Greenlee, it's Babe.

Greenlee: Good-bye.

Babe: Wait, please. Don't hang up.

Greenlee: However you got my number, lose it.

Babe: Wait, wait -- it's Ryan.

Greenlee: Ryan? What about Ryan?

Babe: Ok -- I work at the Roadside Bar, and --

Greenlee: Back to Ryan, Babe. What about him?

Babe: He's here. I came in, and he -- he was already here drinking, and he's drinking like it's 11:00 at night instead of in the morning.

Greenlee: I'll be right there.

Kendall: What? What is it? What?

Babe: He's just in a real dark place. I -- I thought you might want to know.

Greenlee: Don't let him leave. And if you can't stop him, find out where he's going. I'm on my way.

Kendall: All right. Well, what about our plan?

Greenlee: Well, I found him. Second plan -- get him home.

Kendall: Ok, all right, but you said you wanted to find out how he really feels about you.

Greenlee: I'll find out at home.

Kendall: Well, how -- do you honestly think he's even going to go home? He's been sitting at a bar drinking all morning.

Greenlee: Good point.

Kendall: Yeah, and even if he does, will he even confide in you?

Greenlee: I've just got to try and find out.

Kendall: No, wait -- hold on a second. Listen, listen -- you -- you called me. I was this close to getting married, and you lured me out here and begged me to help you.

Greenlee: I didn't beg.

Kendall: You commanded.

Greenlee: Only because you wouldn't listen.

Kendall: All right. Well, now you're going to listen to me to save future "I told you so's." You're going to listen one stupid minute.

Greenlee: But Ryan --

Kendall: No, Ryan nothing. Listen to me. Now, you can tear over there and you can drive Ryan away or you can take my advice.

Tad: It's ok, baby. There's nothing like a little hospitality, Chandler style.

J.R.: Well, why didn't you say something? I show up in my bedroom, a strange girl in there --

Tad: Yeah, and you automatically jump to teen hooker and blackmail -- sweet.

Amanda: It's just, I drove all night. And when I got in this morning, Winifred pointed to a bedroom. I was so wiped, I must have opened the wrong door.

J.R.: I'm sorry if I was rough on you.

Tad: "If"?

Amanda: No, it's ok. I mean, no wonder you freaked. It's been how many years?

J.R.: So what are you doing here?

Amanda: You know -- I'm doing the summer session thing at PVU. Hayley didn't call? She didn't write?

J.R.: Not to me she didn't.

Amanda: Hayley said it was ok if I'd stay here. I should have asked myself. So much for making a good impression. I practically broke and entered.

Tad: I really don't think it was that bad.

Amanda: You know, I'm just going to get my stuff and find a motel.

Tad: Amanda -- I think this is your cue to feign humanity and invite her to stay.

J.R.: Um -- Amanda, you are so welcome here, really.

Tad: Oh, he means it. You can tell because the servants aren't burning your luggage.

Di: Here, I'll -- I'll help you bring your things to a guest room. I'm Diana.

Amanda: You don't have to feel like you, you know, have to let me stay.

J.R.: We have plenty of room here.

Tad: You can stake out your own wing.

Di: Come on. So this -- this Hayley must be pretty busy, huh?

Amanda: Oh, talk about embarrassing --

J.R.: Jamie give you the message?

Tad: You mean the one that you delivered while he was pinned under a motorcycle?

J.R.: Yeah, still not as sick as claiming my mother's alive.

Tad: I didn't claim she was alive. I know it's a one-in-a-million shot that anything's going to --

J.R.: No, there's a zero chance. My mother died. She did not survive a car crash.

Tad: I think so, too.

J.R.: Leave it alone.

Tad: J.R., if you've got something to say to me, then be man enough to say it to me. Don't take it out on Jamie. You want to hurt me, have the decency to leave your brother out of it.

J.R.: Yeah, you're right. I should deliver the pain directly to the guy who earned it.

Tad: You can try.

Zach: Your move on Maria last night -- it was very clever.

Ethan: It was the natural reaction to your move on Kendall.

Zach: You catch on fast.

Ethan: Maria’s right. We might destroy each other. Neither of us would win, Zach. Maybe it would be better now to declare a draw, while we're both still in one piece.

Babe: These are tastier than they look.

Kendall: Hey, stranger. Long time no see.

[Music plays]

Ryan: I'll settle up.

Kendall: Looks good. I'll have one of the same.

Babe: Sure. You know, let me -- first, let me try to find Ryan's tab in here somewhere.

Ryan: Isn't that it right there on top?

Babe: Yeah, actually, it is. If it was a snake, it would have --

Ryan: You know what? This should probably cover it.

Babe: You know what? Actually, since you started on Jimbo's shift, I really need to go through and make sure everything's ok. Because if I mess up, I could lose my job. And Jimbo -- he sure writes with his feet, huh?

Kendall: Why don't you stick around? I'll buy you a drink.

Ryan: No, thanks.

Babe: He doesn't want to be bothered.

Kendall: Why don't you go stuff some olives or practice juggling your cocktail shakers?

Babe: I just try to look out for my customers.

Kendall: Well, I'll believe that when you get me my drink.

Singer: Someone in the hand if I see I know my baby

[Babe spots Greenlee hiding on the floor behind the bar.]

Babe: Sure, sure. The drink, yeah.

Tad: Jamie and I aren't conspiring to mess with your head. We're not responsible for everything that happens to you.

J.R.: Yeah, a strange girl crawls into my bed -- why wouldn't I think it's a setup?

Tad: Well, we couldn't have done it, even if we wanted to.

J.R.: Yeah, because you're such a saint?

Tad: No. Because we were at the hospital all day with Phoebe. She passed away this morning.

J.R.: What? Phoebe died?

Tad: I think that's what they call the end of an era.

J.R.: Well, you certainly bounced back fast, hitting on my nanny.

Tad: No, I was checking her out. Just not in that kind of way.

J.R.: Why do you believe every crazy thing that Babe babbles? Ok, you know what? Share with me. What did you pick up on her? That she's part of a terrorist cell? That she's really good at mind control? She's going to take over the whole town? No, you know what? She cheats at duck duck goose.

Tad: No, you got lucky this time. Apparently, Diana Cole is exactly who she says she is. And she got a five-star recommendation from her last boss.

J.R.: I could have told you that.

Tad: Still, there's something about her. If I were you, I'd have another nanny waiting on deck.

Di: Is this all the stuff you brought for the whole summer?

Amanda: I've got more in the car, but I'm not usually this sloppy, but I was asleep before I even hit the bed.

Di: I know what that's like.

Amanda: I am still so bummed Hayley didn't even call. It was like illegal entry.

Di: No, Winifred let you in. She showed you upstairs.

Amanda: And I pretty much passed out.

Di: Hmm. Talk about a rude awakening.

Amanda: Oh -- J.R. was so ballistic. I mean, I thought I was dreaming. My dad can get mad, but J.R.?

Di: Yeah. He's a had a tough time lately.

Amanda: I'm lucky he's letting me stay.

Di: You know what? Things will be fine once you guys get to know each other again. Hmm?

Amanda: Oh. Funny. I mean, even though it was a bizarre start, I feel at home here.

Di: You said you lived in Pine Valley before.

Amanda: Not the town, I mean the room. Maybe it's a cosmic connection. Maybe I was conceived in it.

Di: Your mother and father lived here?

Amanda: Oh, long story.

Di: Hmm.

Amanda: But I've thought about this place and staying here, and now I know why. It's like a perfect fit. Like home.

[Alone at Wildwind, Maria recalls.]

Ethan's voice: You've given quite a speech.

Brooke's voice: Maria, let someone help you.

Zach’s voice: Don't do this.

Erica's voice: You're going to regret this in the morning.

Maria’s voice: Oh, no, no -- this actually is not even going to make the bottom of my regret list.

[Doorbell rings]

Myrtle: I know. That's why I came. I thought you could use a friend.

Zach: Can I get some more coffee, please? Thank you. You?

Ethan: No, I'm fine.

Zach: Go on, I'm listening.

Ethan: It's like a game of chess. I move, you counter. I take one of your pieces and --

Zach: And I take one of yours.

Ethan: Right. But if we go on like this, where are we going to end up? You've lost Maria, I've lost Kendall.

Zach: You think the queens are off the table?

Ethan: Aren't they?

Zach: I offered Kendall a business deal.

Ethan: One that included marriage.

Zach: But if she still wants to be with you, I can withdraw my proposal. If.

Ethan: Last night changed things a bit. Maria is actually still on the table. I really don't care what she says. She's still in love with you. Maybe I could help you out with her.

Maria: I was just on a drunken, self-destructive tear.

Myrtle: Oh, sweetheart -- listen, darling. Everyone -- everyone goes through that at least once in their lifetime.

Maria: Well, not you.

Myrtle: Oh, yes. Oh, yes! Darling, once in the carny, you know, when I was just -- my hollering and shouting and trying to get the crowd into a certain little tent and carrying on. I had been on a very wild drunken tear the night before with Leo the Lion King.

Maria: Ok.

Myrtle: That boy -- did I give that crowd -- did I give that crowd a scene.

Maria: Oh --

Myrtle: I thought they'd never forget. And, of course, we were all rather ancient, so they forgot a couple of days.

Maria: You are so good for me, Myrtle. Thank you. Can I -- can I ask you a question?

Myrtle: Sure.

Maria: Zach Slater -- you like him, don't you?

Myrtle: Zach? Yes, yes, I like Zach very well.

Maria: Why?

Zach: The thing is the queens are secondary in your game. You want the castles, don't you?

Ethan: Cambias Industries?

Zach: Isn't that your prize?

Ethan: My grandfather willed everything to me.

Zach: I think my father would have wanted me to have it.

Ethan: You forfeited by playing dead. My grandfather left his inheritance to his grandchild. He looked for me. When he couldn't find me, he left a clause in his will, specifically, in case I turned up.

Zach: Lucky you.

Ethan: Look, I'm not greedy, Zach, ok? I'm quite happy to share the family fortune. I can offload some companies and cash on to you. We could both do very well.

Zach: You sure?

Ethan: Why not?

Kendall: You sure dropped out of sight.

Ryan: We all get busy.

Kendall: So, what have you been up to? Fill me in.

Ryan: I don't need a babysitter, Kendall.

Kendall: Who said that I'm here to babysit you?

Ryan: Greenlee sent you here. It's pretty obvious.

Kendall: Ok, first of all, I'm not one of Greenlee's flunkies. And second, why would she send someone to hang out with you when she could be here herself if she wanted to be? Whatever problems you and Greenlee are having, I'm grappling with my own, thank you.

Ryan: Well, grapple silently, because I'm not a wedding planner.

Kendall: Right. Right, you heard Maria’s little rant at the Valley Inn.

Ryan: My one word about marrying Zach --

Kendall: Mm-hmm?

Ryan: One word of advice -- don't.

Kendall: Everyone's a critic. Why shouldn't I marry Zach?

Ryan: Haven't you been hurt enough, Kendall? By Ethan by me.

Kendall: Who says my arrangement with Zach involves the heart?

Ryan: Well, Cambias isn't worth it. He's not your soul mate, Kendall. He doesn't even have a soul. You're marrying a corporation. You'll be miserable.

Kendall: Speaking of miserable -- how did you even manage to get out of bed this morning?

Ryan: I didn't get to bed last night.

Kendall: Oh. What, did Greenlee kick you out of the love nest? Get sick of her little cutesy-pooh names or her little perky wife routine?

Ryan: You know, Kendall, this conversation -- it sounds very familiar to me. I don't think you should --

Babe: She's totally ripping on you. You know, I can get rid of her for you.

Greenlee: No, get rid of yourself!

Babe: I found it.

Kendall: If your marriage is on the rocks, Greenlee will take it out on all of us at Fusion. Is that what we have to look forward to? Total hell? Are you and Greenlee really done?

J.R.: We were never really related, Tad. You only married my mother, and you screwed that up. So, stay away from me, my family and anyone else who comes into this house.

Di: Please, don't blame him, or Babe. They love your son. They want to make sure he's safe, that's all.

J.R.: No, that's not all.

Di: Tad's not going to find out any dark secrets about me. So where's the harm? J.R., please. I don't want to make anything worse between you two.

J.R.: You're not. Tad's already taken care of that all by himself. Get off my property!

Tad: You hear that?

Di: What?

Tad: The sound of the thin ice you're skating on beginning to crack.

Ethan: Is it time to hammer out a treaty? Do we have a truce?

Zach: It's possible -- if you sign Cambias over to me, all of it.

Ethan: That's not a truce, that is complete surrender.

Zach: All right, then we'll duke it out in court. I will take the prize, and you will be left with nothing. Unless Kendall changes her mind. We both know that's not going to happen. Check and mate.

Ethan: This match is far from over.

Zach: I like a challenge.

Myrtle: Zach is a challenge. Now, either he's an angel on a slow downfall, or else he's son of Satan. But I don't know which way he turns out. Either way, he's good it.

Maria: "Good it"?

Myrtle: Good it. You know -- you know, like Gable or -- or Gary Cooper. These fellows, they had it. But now -- now, Zach -- Zach is a very fascinating fellow. And I'll tell you something else. If I was the right age, I would not let him out of my sight.

Maria: Myrtle --

Myrtle: True, true. But listen, darling. What's this with you two? Things are going badly.

Maria: Yeah, and last night didn't help.

Myrtle: Oh, darling. There's no way -- no way I can think of when to show you this, but you're going to have to see it.

[Myrtle hands Maria a copy of “The Exposer” with her drunken self splashed all over the front page.]

Maria: Oh, my God.

Myrtle: I know.

Maria: Oh.

Myrtle: Yeah. The kids are going to see it.

[Phone rings]

Maria: Hello? Yes, Mrs. Bullard. No, I didn't know. I will get on it right away, though. Thank you. The kids are not at -- they're not at school. They ran away.

[Knock on door]

J.R.: Oh, come on in. You all settled in?

Amanda: Oh, you're so great for letting me stay. But it's not because you're guilting out, right?

J.R.: What guilt? I love to sic the cops on to people. Just sorry that it was you.

Amanda: I'm just so, so sorry that Hayley didn't prep you. I mean, I'd never bust in uninvited and expect to stay, you know? It's like the most embarrassing event of my life. I'm still bright red, I know. Anyway, if you've rethought things, just let me know. I'll clear out.

J.R.: Stop, Amanda. I was just a little on edge already tonight.

Amanda: And a stranger in your bed pushed you over. No surprise there.

J.R.: Listen, you are really welcome to stay here. In fact, let me make it up to you.

Amanda: Me, too -- for ambushing you.

J.R.: So then it's settled. Welcome home.

Amanda: Be it ever so unhumble. Well, after the way we kicked things off, at least I know it won't be boring.

Di: Are you trying to scare me?

Tad: No. Eventually J.R. and Adam will take care of that.

Di: I just don't understand why you two can't get along.

Tad: You haven't been around very long. Give it time. If you pour enough oil on the troubled waters around here, eventually somebody's going to walk by and throw a match on it.

Di: They're not that bad.

Tad: They're worse. You are in for one rude awakening. In the meantime, lesson one -- do yourself a favor. Don't ever defend me or Jamie or Babe to J.R. All you'll do is end up on his bad side.

Di: Can you see the future?

Tad: No. Unfortunately, that isn't one of my talents.

Di: The only ones completely without hope are the ones that are certain they know what the future holds.

Tad: Deep. Really, deep.

Ryan: I don't talk about my wife behind her back.

Kendall: Ok, so I'm sorry --

Ryan: Kendall, what happens between us stays between us.

Kendall: All right. Well, then forget about Greenlee. Tell me about you, Ryan. You seem off --

Ryan: Don't worry -- don't worry about me! God! Babe, if this isn't enough, then I'm good for it, all right?

Kendall: Wait a minute. Wait, wait, Ryan. Wait. Remember what you said earlier about Ethan completely breaking my heart? Well, you were right. He did a great job. But what hit me the hardest was it reminded me of what I threw away when I lost you.

Ryan: Well, I'm sorry you were hurt.

Kendall: Same as you're hurting now. Ryan, we were so great together. You remember, you and me. I made you happy. So if you're really done with Greenlee, why don't we try again?

>> On the next "All My Children" --

Kendall (to Ryan): If I'm what you want, I'm yours.

Greenlee: I'm so going to kill that lying, cheating husband-stealer.

Erica: You make our wedding sound like a battlefield that you have to slog through.

Jack: Well, there are similarities.

Maria (to Brooke): You stole my kids, and I want them back.

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