All My Children Transcript Thursday 1/6/05
Proofread by Gisele
Ethan: Hmm. Wow. What did I do to deserve this -- a half-naked woman and an espresso machine?
Kendall: Yes, and she's not afraid to use it, either.
Ethan: Oh, really?
Ethan: Is there no end to your hidden talents?
Kendall: Oh, honey, you have barely skimmed the surface.
Kendall: Mm-hmm. You nervous?
Ethan: Why? Is that Señor Cappuccino's first time out of the box?
Kendall: You know what I mean. The DNA test today, finding out if Zach is really your father.
Zach: Don't mind me. I'm just going to park ringside and enjoy the view.
David: Sorry, Slater. You missed the strip search. And they don't hose us down until after chow, so why don't you come back later.
Zach: No, that's ok. I like the preshow. I am a little surprised, though. With your reputation, I thought it'd be standing room only.
David: Hmm, and I'm not surprised that you're into gloating.
Zach: Do you know how I rang 2005 in?
David: Cheating at solitaire?
Zach: No. I cleaned out my desk. And guess what I found in one of the drawers.
David: A business card to your favorite male escort service.
Zach: I gave that back to you.
Zach: No, no, no, no. What I found was the disc from the casino, my security disc from the night that you were trying to exploit Adam Chandler. So I screened it for the DA, and they said to me, they said it was the first feel-good movie of the year. How about that? Your future's looking pretty dark there, Hayward.
Tad: I can't give you that kind of advice. All I can tell you is what I'm doing, and I'm not telling J.R. his son is alive.
Bianca: But how can you do that? He's like a son to you.
Tad: For the same reason I initially kept my mouth shut when I found out who this peanut really was. Because of my other son.
Babe: Why, Mr. Tucker. You look positively scrumptious.
Jamie: Yeah. Give me a pocket protector and a calculator and I'd be a regular techo-geek.
Babe: Tell me everything's going to be all right.
Jamie: Hey, it is all right, Babe. You, me, and James, we're golden. The Buchanans will not run us down. Neither will J.R.
J.R.: Did you hear what I said? Your grandson, my son, is alive.
Adam: That's remarkable.
J.R.: You think I'm cracked. But I am stone-cold sane. It's not over after all. The miracle is making its rounds. I'm going to hold them in my hands next. They're mine. Yes! This is so not over.
Tad: I love Jamie every bit as much as you love Miranda. I give you my word he is the sole reason that I didn't tell you about her the second I found out who she was.
Bianca: Because Babe and Jamie had kidnapped James from the Buchanans and the law was after them.
Tad: Bianca, as a parent, you never stop asking yourself how far you're prepared to go to protect your children. And for me, my answer was right there. You go the distance, no matter what that is.
Bianca: But you had to choose between Jamie and J.R.
Tad: Yeah, that's right. And a flip of a coin wasn't going to cut it. I mean, Jamie and Babe begged me not to tell J.R. about little James, and as much as I understood their point of view, I felt sorry for J.R. I mean, he deserved to know that his son was alive, and I was going to tell him.
Bianca: So what changed your mind?
Tad: J.R. did. It seemed to me that no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I couldn't get through to him. He just kept spiraling further and further out of control. I don't know when I failed him or when it happened, but it's perfectly obvious that the boy that I raised and loved -- still do love -- was just as capable of being cruel or cold as his father.
Bianca: Yeah, I know. I've seen it, too.
Tad: Yeah, and the final straw was when he took a lead pipe to Jamie's head, nearly split his skull open.
Bianca: Oh, my God. Wow. David had told me about that, but was it really that bad?
Tad: It was worse. I mean, as sickening and shocking as it was, the worst part was that it wasn't all that surprising. I realized without even knowing it that I'd stopped asking myself just how far J.R. was prepared to go to get what he wants. And so the only choice I had left was to stop him, to stop him from going after Jamie and Babe and using his own son to grind them into the dirt.
Bianca: So you decided that the best thing would be to let J.R. continue to believe that his son was dead.
Tad: I made a judgment call.
Bianca: But weren't you tempted to tell him after he gave Miranda back?
Tad: You'll never know how much. But in the end, I decided to keep a secret. I made my choice, my decision based on admittedly selfish reasons. You, my love, have got to make up your own mind.
Bianca: There are just so many lives involved. There are so many people that are affected by what I decide.
Tad: Ok, so break it down. If you think Babe should be punished, then you've got every right to see it through. If you don't want to see J.R. go through the kind of hell that you did, then you do what you've got to do.
Bianca: If I tell J.R. and you don't, he's going to hate you forever.
Tad: Bianca, we're halfway there already. And this may be the final push or it may be too late for J.R. and I no matter what happens. I just know one thing. I'm not going to be the father who pits one son against another, and I'm not going to be the man that hands Dixie's grandchild to Adam Chandler. If you tell J.R., then so be it. I'll understand and I'll accept it and I'll deal with whatever comes, because to be honest, a large slice of me really hates what we all did to you.
Zach: You're going to be charged and tried for kidnapping and false imprisonment. Now, those are felonies with pretty big prison time, I think.
David: If I'm convicted, and that's a big "if."
Zach: Not so big an "if." We got the DVD, and then if Adam Chandler's on the stand talking about the pain and the anguish that you caused him, I don't know, I can almost hear the gasping from a jury in horror.
Krystal: Oh, "gasping," please. They're going to be whooping and hollering. You try to poll a jury that's friendly to Adam Chandler, you're going to have to have a change of venue to Mars.
Zach: Hmm. Krystal, right?
Zach: Yeah. I bet you a dollar right now that Hayward has more enemies than Chandler does.
David: You might want to stop drooling, Slater. I'm not on a chain gang yet.
Zach: I have faith in the justice system.
Krystal: Why target David? Why all of the sudden snatch a DVD from the lost and found and jump to Adam's defense? You know what a bloodless monster he is.
David: Nah, you've got this all wrong, Krystal. This isn't about Slater defending Adam. This is payback, with interest, long-distance revenge, because I came between him and Maria all those years ago.
Zach: This is about Bianca Montgomery, about keeping a child from its parent.
David: Of course it is. And you'd be the expert on that, now, wouldn't you?
Kendall: Ethan, you are amazing.
Ethan: You haven't seen my finishing run yet.
Kendall: Well, I mean, you got regular heartbeat, no palpitations. I mean, you are on the cusp of finding out who you are, and you're not breaking a sweat. Your pulse is slow and steady.
Ethan: Well, the way I see it, whatever the DNA results, whatever my last name turns out to be, it'll still be me, right?
Kendall: Which way are you leaning, Cambias or Ramsey?
Ethan: I really don't think about it that way. If Bianca and Miranda are in some kind of danger because of the Cambias fortune, then I hope to God that I am that baby's cousin, because I will be in a position then to do everything I can to protect them.
Kendall: Well, even if your name does change, I'll still feel the same way about you.
Ethan: How's that?
Kendall: Pretty damn great.
Ethan: Oh, really? Pretty damn great?
Bianca: You are nothing like them, Tad. There is nothing of David or Krystal or Babe in your heart.
Tad: Don't kid yourself. Do you know how many times I was this close to telling you about Miranda but didn't?
Bianca: You had your reasons.
Tad: Yeah, because I was trying to stack the deck in Jamie's favor. The sad fact is by holding back the truth I jumped right off the top of the hero column and into the pool with David and Babe and Krystal, and God knows I'll probably be paying karma off for years to come.
Bianca: Look, what really matters now is that you did do the right thing. You helped to bring my daughter back to me.
Tad: After you nearly died. It was too close to call, too close for comfort.
Bianca: If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure that J.R. didn't intend to hurt me. He just couldn't give Miranda up. He kept saying that she was really his, I mean, forget about the truth. God, the look in his eye.
Tad: I know. That look that screams "what's mine is mine, and I'll do anything to anyone who tries to take it away from me." I've seen it.
Bianca: It scared the hell out of me.
Tad: It scares the hell out of me.
J.R.: My son is alive. Happy New Year.
Adam: J.R., son, you're still grieving over a horrendous loss. Now, come on, you need some rest.
J.R.: Dad, does this look like the face of a man who's grieving?
Adam: Let's call someone.
J.R.: Who? The white suits at Oak Haven and check me into a VIP padded cell? How about roll me out to the solarium, feed me some mashed-up bananas while I drool into a cup. I am not crazy! Although, that's never stopped you in the past.
Adam: Oh, come on, you just -- why don't you sit down, and we'll just talk this over calmly?
J.R.: No. Why don't you sit down, I'll fix you a drink, and I will talk you through this awesome 11th-hour gift from the gods.
Adam: All right.
J.R.: So that PI that just left -- he tracked Babe and Jamie down to a Florida motel, registered under the names Kate and Brad Anderson. He flashed their pictures around, got a positive ID from the motel manager, the maid, a store clerk. It was them, all right. They were there. Krystal, Hayward, and Tad were also there. Oh, you're going to love this. Hayward hamstrung Martin. He had him tied to a bed. The maid walked in. She thought they were playing some sort of bondage fantasy.
Adam: Oh, there's a portrait no artist could paint.
J.R.: Yes, but there was a blond. She was sniffing around Babe and Jamie. I haven't got a line on her yet.
Adam: All right, all right, so, we already knew that Jamie and Babe were down there.
J.R.: Yeah, Dad. But they weren't alone. They had a tiny traveler onboard, a 10-month-old baby boy.
Jamie: The cops on Matt's trail, we can pretty much kiss our new IDs goodbye.
Babe: Ok, so now what?
Jamie: Well, we have to find a new source, but not here. It's not safe. And we need to get gone, like today, right now.
Babe: Ok, I'll get everything packed, and I'll go get James ready.
Jamie: And I'll get some supplies for the road.
Jamie: Hey. Wipe that worry off your face, Babe. It's going to be ok.
Babe: And again, you make me believe it.
Officer: Surprise, surprise. Somebody's home after all.
Tad: If you take away all the justifications, the hard, cold fact is we all did you a tremendous wrong, and you have every right to want to see people answer for it, including me.
Bianca: You know, I'm pretty new to this whole parenting thing, but I think I'm starting to get it. It's not just putting your arms around them or telling them that you love them when they hurt.
Tad: Not even close.
Bianca: I still don't know what I'm going to do. I was kind of hoping you would have the answer.
Tad: Sorry, sweetheart. All I've got are my answers. And I'm prepared to live with them. You have to get to where you have to on your own. The good news is you're a very rare person, and you will never have to do it alone. Take good care of your mother.
David: Who the hell are you to be handing down judgments? Aren't you the same man who staged his own violent death, who forced his father into premature mourning? You've got the stones to come here and lecture me about keeping a child from its parent? Did you ever imagine what your father looked like the day he got slammed with the news that his son had been carbecued? No, you couldn't get me back for Maria or for my part in taking down your sleazoid brother, Michael. And so an opportunity availed itself to take me down, and you jumped at it. And you're saying it's all in the name of Bianca? That's pretty pathetic. Why don't you stop hiding behind women and little girls, hmm? Revenge is revenge no matter how you cut it. At least, in the end, your brother was man enough to admit that. You're nothing but a lousy coward.
Officer: I knocked on that door a while ago. Any reason you didn't answer it then?
Jamie: I was on a business call. I just thought it was a bunch of kids playing pranks. I -- is there something wrong, Officer?
Officer: Are you Bradley Anderson?
Jamie: No. The name's Harry. Harry Tucker.
Officer: Manager said he rented this place to a Bradley Anderson.
Jamie: Oh, I'm a friend of his from college. I'm in town on business. And the Bradster was kind enough to let me stay with him for a couple days. Is there some sort of problem?
Officer: Your neighbor in 3-A, Matthew Finley?
Jamie: What do you want with him?
Officer: Well, he's a forger, among other felonies. Wait, what did you say your name was?
Jamie: Tucker. Harry Samuel Tucker.
Officer: Ah. Mr. Tucker. Any idea why we found your name written on a scrap of paper in Matt Finley's apartment?
Bianca: Hello. Come on in! Yes!
Kendall: How are you feeling?
Bianca: We're great.
Kendall: You look amazing.
Ethan: Wow, you have an incredible glow about you.
Bianca: Well, that's all thanks to Miranda.
Kendall: Hello. Hello, do you have a little smooch for Auntie Kendall?
Bianca: Of course she does.
Kendall: Yes, I am going to chew you up. I can't take it. Ooh!
Ethan: I've been thinking a lot about what you said about why finding out the truth matters. I think you're right.
Bianca: Wow. Does this mean what I think it means?
Ethan: If it's still on the table, I'd like to take you up on your offer to be tested against Miranda, but only if you're sure. You realize it could mean Miranda having to give up half of her estate, and if there's a problem with that, then --
Bianca: Oh, Ethan, you know that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is you finally knowing who you are. Right?
Ethan: Well, finding out that I'm related to this --
Ethan: Lovely little lady here would be an absolute joy. Even if it means that I have to find I'm related to Mr. Slater. Hello.
Zach: Well, you can have a lot of time to analyze lives -- 24 to life, probably.
Krystal: Damn it, Slater, he did it for my daughter! Can't you see that? He did it for our child. So can't you just put aside some stupid grudge match from how many years ago and see the sacrifices he made for his kin? Or doesn't putting family first mean anything to you?
David: You're wasting your breath, Krystal. He's a Cambias. They eat their young.
Zach: So long, Hayward. Oh, and just know that I'll be thinking of you when it's lights off in your cellblock, and you're fending off the advances from your roommate. I'll see you. Excuse me.
David: Oh, great. This day just gets better and better. Guard, can I see my lawyer, please? This is cruel and unusual punishment.
Tad: Hayward, challenge yourself -- stop whining for five minutes. I'm here to see Krystal.
Officer: You mind if we go inside?
Jamie: Sure. If you're referring to the brown-haired gentleman down the hall, well, of course he has my name.
Officer: And why is that, sir?
Jamie: I'm a salesman. I met Mr. Finley on the stairs and happened to have my sample case with me. Now, my dynamic sales pitch and practical demonstration of the product resulted in a sale. I never let a live one get away. That's my motto.
Officer: What exactly do you sell?
Jamie: Only the finest in men's hairpieces for the follically challenged. Guaranteed not to shrink, shed, or molt.
Officer: Hair's kind of long for a man's toupée.
Jamie: Well, just between you and me, this is overstock from our Fab Four collection.
Officer: Are you saying this Finley wears a rug? Our make says he's got a full crop.
Jamie: Oh, that's just testimony to our fine custom weaves. Only his hairdresser and Harry Tucker know the truth. And if you don't mind me saying so, while you do have a fine head of hair, the hairline's a little in recession.
Officer: Thanks, bud. I'm fine.
Jamie: I -- oh -- hey. Be that way, but just remember, hair today, gone tomorrow.
Officer: Yeah. Whatever. Look, here's my card. Ask Mr. Anderson to call me about Finley when he gets home.
Jamie: Yes, sir. Harry Tucker at your service. You have a good day.
Babe: Harry Tucker. You put the "awe" in "awesome."
Adam: Jamie and Babe are traveling with a baby boy?
J.R.: My baby. My son.
Adam: That's unbelievable.
J.R.: Well, start believing it, because it's true.
Adam: Well, suppose it is true. Question number one -- where in the hell has the child been all this time?
J.R.: I have no idea. But if my baby didn't die and just disappear, Paul Cramer had something to do with it, cause he's the one who handed Bess -- Miranda over to me.
Adam: All right, we all know Paul Cramer's slime, but he's dead slime. We're not going to get anything out of him, not now.
J.R.: Hold on. All right. You know, a ton has been written about Paul Cramer since the chopper crash and the murder. Let's see if we can bring up any clues on the Internet.
Adam: I'm not doubting you, son. The story sounds, well, almost plausible. I -- still, I --
J.R.: Just think about it here for a second, ok? Babe has had Miranda this whole time. And she just now gave her back to Bianca. Why do you think she did that? Out of the kindness of her little black heart? I don't think so.
J.R.: Because she got her baby back.
Adam: My God! If you're right about this, if this is true --
J.R.: If it's true, that means that you're going to have another grandson. And he will live in this home. You'll be welcoming Adam Chandler, III. How does that grasp you?
Adam: Adam Chandler, III.
J.R.: I knew that you'd approve.
Adam: Yeah. Son, whatever happens, I want you to know this -- no matter how this comes out, I'm sorry about deceiving you, my part in getting Bianca's baby back.
J.R.: Forget it, Dad.
Adam: Does that mean you forgive me?
J.R.: No. But I'll let you hold your grandson when I bring him home.
Kendall: Ok, can you put a rush on that? Thank you.
Anita: I'm going to take this little mama to see her Nana Myrtle.
Bianca: Oh. Well, I will be here when you get back, ok?
Anita: Can you say "I love you"?
Anita: "I love you"!
Bianca: I love you. Say hi to Myrtle for me.
Kendall: I see you!
Ethan: You know, ladies, I'm going to go, too, just to make sure everything's ok.
Bianca: He's doing the right thing.
Kendall: I know. Now, what about you? When is your departure date? I want to rearrange my whole schedule.
Bianca: Oh, Kendall, you can stop worrying about me and start worrying about him a little. This is going to be rough on him. Hey.
Ethan: Everything's fine.
Kendall: Good. Good, good, good, good.
Ethan: It's time. It's time to put away my kid fantasies, to put away my father as a pirate king, and to find out the truth, whatever that may be.
Myrtle: Hey there, tall, dark, and dour. Come and say hello to your niece.
Ethan: Some things have no right to stay hidden. A son should know his father no matter how much of a bastard he turns out to be.
J.R.: Yeah, there's lots of hits here for Paul Cramer -- "The Sun," "Banner," "The Exposer."
Adam: We already knew he was Dorian's nephew.
Adam: Whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Who's this?
J.R.: "Kelly Cramer Buchanan reported last seeing the deceased, her half brother, the night before Paul Cramer went missing."
Adam: Does that help us?
J.R.: She's a perfect match.
Adam: A match for what?
J.R.: The lady that was looking for Babe and Jamie in Florida. "Buchanan," "Buchanan." "Newly elected Lieutenant Governor Kevin Buchanan�s joy was short-lived when he learned his 9-month-old son Ace was kidnapped out of a hotel suite during the election."
Adam: November 2?
Adam: 9-month-old baby boy? The age is right.
J.R.: "Seen here in happier times with ex, Kelly." Oh, God. It fits. It all fits, doesn't it? Kelly Buchanan in Florida, looking for her baby boy, the baby Paul Cramer took to give to his half sister, and the child that disappeared the same night that Jamie and Babe blew off the radar.
J.R.: There's your grandson. That's my boy.
Jamie: Babe, Babe, Babe, wait, wait, wait. I love the props, but all I did was stall that cop, send him into reverse. Now, he's going to be back, and we got to be gone tonight.
Babe: Great, I'll have us packed in a flash.
[Knock on door]
Babe: Was anyone there?
Jamie: No one that wants to be seen. It's addressed to Harry and Faith Tucker.
Tad: I just came from seeing Bianca.
Krystal: How is she?
Tad: We'd better prepare for the worst.
Krystal: Well, Bianca has to do what she feels is right. I understand that. It's just that I'm just so afraid for Babe and for Jamie and for that precious little baby.
Tad: You should be, because J.R. is not going to stop.
Krystal: I know. I know. Oh, God. I just cannot stand the thought of my baby doll in this place for even an hour, not to mention a whole lifetime.
Tad: The idea of Jamie throwing his life in the Dumpster doesn't exactly thrill me, either.
Adam: I want this for you, son. With every fiber of my being, I want it to be the miracle you believe it to be.
J.R.: Bianca got hers. It's my turn.
Adam: Yeah, but we can't afford to go off half-cocked. We have to be able to be as careful and methodical as Erica and Tad were in taking Miranda back.
J.R.: Don't worry. I'm strictly background as far as my PIs hunting Babe down. Don't worry, son. We'll get you back. And we'll make them pay. We'll make them pay till it hurts, then make them pay some more.
Myrtle: Miranda is your blood. Now, take an armful of God's love and God's innocence, and that will take all these off your brow. It's all right.
Zach: Oh --
Anita: It's ok.
Zach: Hi, little one. Oh, it's ok. It's a blessing --
Myrtle: Now, I didn't hear that.
Zach: I was just telling Miranda that it was a blessing that my brother died before he laid eyes on her.
Myrtle: Well, I agree with that. I didn't expect that coming from you.
Zach: What I meant was she won't have to bear the burden of the Cambias curse, handed down from father to child.
Anita: Myrtle --
Myrtle: I mean, all this nonsense about curses -- I mean, the things you used to see in the flickers on a Saturday afternoon -- witches and voodoos and living dead and -- oh, really, come on.
Zach: Well, maybe you're right. Hey, monkey -- you are your mother's daughter. And if anything can break this curse, it's the love of Bianca Montgomery.
Bianca: Whatever the results of this test today, we know that you can handle them, because you're an adult. Who you are is already formed, and it has nothing to do with your DNA.
Ethan: Go on.
Bianca: What if you were so young that your father could still shape you in his image and he was a bad guy? I mean, so bad that he could mess you up for life?
Ethan: Would Zach knowing that he had a son in his life have made a difference, for better, for worse? I don't know. Maybe finding out he had a child in his life would have led my father down a very different path.
Kendall: Well, you know, it's never too late. Erica and I -- we have the scar tissue to prove it.
Ethan: I don't think any child or parent should be denied the chance to know each other, and where they go from there is their choice and no one else's.
Tad: I just can't believe I was so stupid.
Krystal: What are you talking about?
Tad: The night of the crash, I knew Cramer was lying. I could feel it. I could feel it in every cell of my body. I just didn't do anything about it. I mean, I was so freaked out by what happened and worried about the girls, I didn't follow through. If I had, none of this ever would have happened.
Krystal: Tad, I am not going to let you do this to yourself. Do you hear me? You did, you followed through. You ordered that DNA test. And then I undid all your good work by doing what I did. I want you to listen to me. No matter what happens from here on out, wherever we end up, you did everything in your power to make things right. You never forget that. Never.
Adam: I'll work my friendship with Dorian, find out what she knows.
J.R.: And I'll have a one-on-one with Ms. Kelly Buchanan.
Adam: Forgive my doubts.
J.R.: I'll bury them with this promise. My son will be under this roof within a week, and his mother and my ex-brother will regret that they ever threw any lies in my face.
Jamie: He's got our Ids. He wants to recon later at a Café Carondelet.
Babe: Well, that's great. We can go on like we planned. It'll be Harry and Faith and the baby Gus. What?
Jamie: Well, the cops found Harry Tucker's name in Matt's place. And as brilliant as I was, that officer might not have bought my sales pitch. We may be walking into a trap.
Babe: Then there's no way we're risking it. We're just going to go on like we planned.
Jamie: Having those IDs will make our life a lot easier, not to mention a lot safer.
Babe: You've never led us wrong before, so I'm going to leave this call up to you.
Jamie: I say we risk it.
Babe: Then baby Gus and I are with you all the way.
Myrtle: The truth is there are good parents and not-so-good parents. Now, you just teach them respect, you teach them right from wrong, you fill them with heart, and you get it all back in spades. Of course, there is a bundle of heartbreak, too. But, well, that's -- that's the good Lord's way. That's the good Lord's way of making sure you walk the straight and narrow. But believe me, it's worth it. Don't let anyone ever make you think different.
Kendall: Doesn't my sister look amazing?
Kendall: I want to come back and see her and the baby later.
Anita: If you want to see Bianca, looks like she's free.
Zach: No, that's ok. I've found what I came for. Give me a kiss. Let Bianca rest. And, Mrs. Fargate, as always, a unique pleasure.
Myrtle: That's an odd duck.
Ethan's voice: Maybe finding out he had a child in his life would have led my father down a very different path.
[Remembering Ethan's sentiment, Bianca calls J.R.]
J.R.: J.R. Chandler.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Bianca: You deserve to know the whole story.
Jonathan: You're putting Kendall and Ramsey ahead of me. Do you trust them more than you trust me?
Kendall: Let's see if I can and make you forget about all of your troubles.
Adam: You deserve an equal.
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