All My Children Transcript Friday 10/29/04
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Proofread by Gisele
Jamie: Just let us in and tell him we're here.
Guard: No one enters without clearance.
Babe: Ok, look, I'm Mrs. J.R. Chandler. My baby is inside this house.
Jamie: We have to talk to him.
Guard: They tried to push right in, sir.
Babe: Can we talk privately?
J.R.: Ok. Why not? All right. What is it?
Jamie: Babe thought we should come.
Babe: Look, you deserve to know. It's --
J.R.: Just cut the preamble and get to it already.
Jamie: There's no easy way to say it, so �
[Jamie and Babe engage in some serious liplock action.]
Tad: Hey, Doc. Right on time.
David: I'm really not in the mood.
Aidan: You recognize our pal here?
Tad: No, of course not -- he's incognito, remember? Maybe this will help.
David: The guy from the pump house?
Tad: Yeah, like I said, don't quit your day job. We were able to track him down by freezing a single frame of the "Murder for Hire" video.
David: Well, it's been a pretty lousy 24 hours, but this could turn out to be a decent day after all.
Tad: Maybe, for some of us.
Zach's voice: Do you know how much I love you? I'm never going to leave you. Trust my word.
Maria's voice: We have our little casita and all our memories and we can take it all with us.
Zach's voice: I don't want to leave here, and I don't want the memories. I want this, right here, right now -- you and me in our little house.
Bobby: How come I never knew this place existed? What is it, some high roller's theme suite or your own private place? Ahem. Um -- I got your message. Something you need?
Zach: Tear the place apart. Destroy it.
Anita: Seduce you? Bobby? My Bobby?
Greenlee: Oh, my God. Did I say -- I mean, I didn't -- what did I say?
Anita: That Kendall paid my husband to get you into bed.
Greenlee: These crazy things just tumble out.
Anita: Ok, so it didn't happen?
Greenlee: No. No, Bobby never -- we didn't do it.
Anita: Yeah, but so he --
Greenlee: No, I'm sorry I keep blurting things and doing things that I would never normally say or do. Maria, you've got to find out what's wrong with me.
Kendall: This is harassment!
Ethan: Whose idea was this, huh? Ryan Lavery? Out of town not good enough for him? How much longer are you going to be on his payroll?
Derek: As long as he pays his taxes. Haven't you heard? I'm on everybody's payroll.
Kendall: All right, Derek, this is ridiculous, ok? Just let him go.
Derek: What part of "attempted murder" don't you understand?
Ethan: Same old charge, no evidence!
Derek: We found the rifle.
Kendall: Yeah, old news. Ballistics showed that it wasn't a match.
Derek: The real rifle. The weapon used to shoot Lavery was recovered from your storage locker. That shut you up pretty good, didn't it? Come on, let's go.
Kendall: No. No, wait a minute. This can't be.
Derek: So, you rented a locker from Maxima Storage on Division Street?
Ethan: So what?
Kendall: No, Ethan, don't say anything, ok?
Derek: Are you his counsel?
Kendall: No, but he's not talking until I get him a lawyer.
Ethan: Hey, look, I haven't done anything wrong. Ok, so I shipped some things over from England. I was intending on moving here, ok? It's not like I could carry everything with me.
Derek: Well, yeah, especially not your spare rifle with a telescopic sight.
Ethan: I have one rifle, one. You already tested it, ok?
Kendall: Ethan, shut up, please?
Ethan: No, if you found anything inside that storage locker, it was planted there!
Derek: You never said that you rented a locker. It seems like you had something to hide.
Ethan: No, you never asked. That seems like lousy police work.
Kendall: Ethan, listen to me. Listen, you trust me, right?
Ethan: You and Bianca are the only two people I trust in this town.
Kendall: All right, then please, I am begging you, do not say anything more, ok? They will find a way to use it against you later. Now, I'm going to go find someone who can get you out of here. In the meantime, stay quiet. Can you do that?
Ethan: There's no intelligent conversation in here anyway.
Derek: We'll get you processed in a sec. That Kendall's a spitfire, an attractive -- I mean, very attractive -- and knows her way around. So it's no surprise that she suckered you into shooting Lavery, but what I'm really not clear on -- was getting Lavery out of the way all Kendall's idea or was Zach Slater in on it, too?
Zach: Bulldoze it, make it disappear.
Bobby: What about the furniture?
Zach: Get rid of it. Firewood, I don't care.
Bobby: But why?
Zach: Because I'm done with it. Everyone is.
Bobby: Ok. But destroy it?
Zach: Get it done. You're in charge. I'll be in Vegas.
Bobby: How long?
Zach: Permanently. Congratulations, you've been promoted.
Bobby: I don't get it. All of a sudden, you're --
Zach: If you don't want the job, you'd let me know, right?
Bobby: No, no, I do. I do. It's just something we never discussed or --
Zach: You're not used to happy news. Be happy.
Bobby: I am, I am, but -- but what happened here?
Zach: It's time, that's all.
Bobby: Uh -- my house, are you still good for the loan? I mean, are we going forward with that or --
Zach: I'm still good for it, Bobby.
Bobby: I didn't mean to imply. I know you are good for it, but -- so you will be making trips in to check up on things?
Zach: I don't want to see this place ever again. Get out of here, leave me alone.
Greenlee: I am so, so sorry, but that's it. That's the major symptom. I don't intend to do or say anything, and then the weirdest, most awful stuff pops out. Anita, please, please do not let this ruin your marriage.
Anita: At the stables, Bobby kept trying to tell me about this loan that Kendall made and -- and what she -- and her terms.
Greenlee: No, don't do this to yourself. It's meaningless. I'm having, like, brain hiccups. Bobby loves you, Anita. He is devoted to you, honestly. Maria, what is going on inside my head? I am, like, short-circuiting and I don't know why.
Maria: Ok. Um -- do you want to talk? Are you ok, honey?
Anita: Yeah, I'll -- I'll be ok.
Greenlee: Maria, I honestly think I'm losing my mind.
David: So have you told him what we're after?
Tad: Not yet. He hasn't woken up yet.
Aidan: Hey? You fell asleep.
Rod: Hey, hey, hey, get off! Where was the girl with the lost dog? I had to help her find it.
Tad: No, no, no, no, no.
Tad: There's been a change of plan, my friend. >From now on, you're going to help us.
Rod: You -- you drugged me!
David: Ah, doubtful. That's my specialty.
Aidan: You're in the presence of genius.
Tad: Evil genius, but genius nonetheless.
Aidan: And Davey here is a famous chemist.
Tad: Oh, that's an understatement. You see, my associate here could probably wipe you off the face of this planet in any number of ways if he felt like it, which he probably does because he suffers from a terrible lack of scruples.
Aidan: And there is nothing that he won't do --
Rod: I'll call --
Aidan: To get what he wants.
Rod: I'll call the cops!
Tad: Oh, no, you won't. You won't do anything, not until we get what we want.
Rod: What's that?
Tad: To take care of you, Rod. You see, we're concerned. We want to save you from the Chandlers.
Rod: I'm an upstanding citizen. I have a career --
Tad: Don't. All you've got is a stupid job because Adam and J.R. were willing to pay you off for false testimony.
Rod: I -- I don't know what you're talking about.
Aidan: You made a deal with them.
Tad: You sold your soul to the devil.
David: Keeping a baby from its mother.
Rod: No, no. No, I'm not.
Tad: Yes, you are. You're making it possible. You were also willing to send two innocent people to prison.
Rod: You got the wrong guy.
Aidan: No, we don't.
Rod: Hey, this is -- this is coercing a witness here. You're suppressing evidence. I'm out of here.
Aidan: I think he needs persuading.
Tad: Yeah, I had a feeling he might.
David: Yeah, so did I. I perfected a little recipe I think will amuse you, Rod.
Rod: No, you can't.
David: You like it here, Rod? Hmm? Rural, isolated, really isolated? We're going to conduct a little experiment.
Rod: Not on me, man.
David: You're going to help us answer the age-old question -- if Rod screams in the forest and there's no one there to hear him, does he make noise?
Rod: They're here.
Tad: You hear anything?
Aidan: No. Want a beer, Tad?
Tad: Yeah, that'd be nice.
J.R.: Hmm. And that proves -- what? Once a tramp, always a tramp? You know, I didn't need the visual aid. You should take her downtown. You both could earn some money.
Jamie: We didn't want you to hear it from someone else.
Babe: We love each other.
J.R.: Wow! Alert the media. But here's a better headline -- "No one cares. Get out!"
Babe: Look, J.R., we would if we could, but --
Jamie: You once offered me money if I got together with Babe.
J.R.: Yeah, that was just to take Babe off my hands.
Jamie: Is the offer still good?
J.R.: My brother wants to get paid for loving you. Nice, real nice.
Babe: J.R., we need money.
J.R.: Then why don't you borrow from the bank of Krystal? She swiped 10 grand out of our safe. Now, if she hasn't already scored some implants or a tattoo of the Last Supper, I'm sure there'll be a few bucks left over for you two.
Jamie: I took the 10,000, and I want a lot more before I walk out of here.
Derek: Kendall had a vendetta against Ryan, and you were the new boy in town, your eye on the Cambias prize. Kendall scratched your itch and you scratched hers.
Ethan: Hey, Kendall had no part of this! You leave her out of it!
Derek: Ooh, short fuse. You better work on that before your trial.
Ethan: This had nothing to do with Kendall.
Derek: She's awfully protective of you and she is calling the shots -- no pun intended. So, how long have you and Kendall been involved, romantically? So, you do follow Kendall's orders?
Ethan: Until she returns, you're talking to yourself.
Simone: I want this fixed now.
Lt. Perry: You're asking me to fix a traffic citation?
Simone: This -- there was no traffic! Get it through your head, ok? My car, my sweet Lola, has been violated.
Lt. Perry: Lola?
Lt. Perry: Ok, calm down, Simone.
Simone: Look, I was parked outside swell times for 10 minutes -- 10 minutes.
Lt. Perry: On the sidewalk.
Simone: The streets are too narrow there! You people ought to do something about that. Widen Pleasant Avenue.
Lt. Perry: That's not an option.
Simone: I was simply picking up a vintage "Beauty and the Beast" cookie jar for my dear, dear friends Greenlee and Ryan, ok? You know, a little gag gift because that's the type of loving friend that I am, and I come outside and I find this, all right, shoved under Lola's wiper and this huge, ugly orange thingie on her tire, all right? And whoever chose that color orange should be shot because it's absolutely horrendous.
Lt. Perry: Ok, you've been booted.
Simone: Booting is what you do to your computer, ok? Booting is what I do to a guy who thinks beer in a can in front of a ballgame on TV is a date.
[Lt. Perry whistles]
Lt. Perry: Lady --
Simone: So there's been a mistake -- I knew it.
Lt. Perry: 23 outstanding citations?
Simone: Well, that sounds like it should be something good.
Lt. Perry: Yeah. Either you pay the full amount including fines and penalties --
Lt. Perry: Or we keep your car.
Simone: Are you crazy? I want a hearing! Where is Officer Lyman? I mean, I want to see a grievance committee, right --
J.R.: Do I really have to call security?
Jamie: You won, J.R. You got all the marbles. Why not toss a few crumbs our way?
J.R.: Um -- because I don't have to?
Jamie: You've got full custody of Bess.
Babe: And you got rid of me.
J.R.: Which I celebrate every day.
Jamie: And I wasn't cut so badly that I died in jail. I guess you couldn't have wanted me gone that badly.
J.R.: It's a nice speech, but not worth a whole lot in cold, hard cash, is it?
Jamie: So what does it take -- me and Babe doing 20 years? That's Adam's plan.
J.R.: All Tad has to do is tell my dad where Liza and Colby are, and then if he says the magic words, you're both free.
Jamie: That's a lousy deal and you know it.
J.R.: That was my dad's deal, not mine.
Babe: But, J.R., you're the one that can undo this.
Jamie: Talk him out of it.
J.R.: He wants his daughter. I mean, who can blame him?
Jamie: After what happened last time, do you really want me back behind bars?
J.R.: No. I don't.
Jamie: I knew you hadn't completely morphed into Adam. Just give us enough money to start a new life. I mean, you've paid people off for less, people that never meant anything to you.
Babe: Like the video guy?
Jamie: Yeah, you must've paid him a bundle to lie that big. Is he worth more to you than I am? We're too late. Come on, Babe. You know, I used to look up to you when we were kids. You were always stronger than me and I thought you could take on anyone or anything, but I guess I was wrong. You sold out all our old memories -- every baseball card, every soccer game -- just so you could be Adam's junior clone.
Tad: To miracles -- oh, don't do that. You'll get it all over your suit -- of modern medicine, huh?
Aidan: Tell you what -- it's a lot better than that bulky old stuff, what with the iron maiden and the thumb screws.
Tad: Oh, talk to me, man. Nowadays, all you got to do is fill a guy full of chemicals, you know? Actually, it can be quite entertaining.
Rod: You -- you can't -- you can't hurt me.
Tad: Oh, the hell he can't.
David: Now, come on, Rod, I'm a doctor. "First, do no harm" -- Hippocratic oath and all that.
Tad: Hey, hey, you hear that, you know? With Rod's new career, these two are practically colleagues.
Aidan: What, with him working for Chandler's biotech company?
Tad: Oh, absolutely. You know, someday, you might even thank me.
David: I've developed a few things that Chandler might be interested in.
Tad: Yeah, yeah, see, he doesn't have to kill you. What about that nifty new castration drug -- did you sell that to anybody yet?
Aidan: Wow. Sounds like a real moneymaker --
Aidan: For some lucky company.
Rod: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
David: Well, this is perfect. I've been waiting for the opportunity to try this out properly in a controlled situation.
Tad: Ah, congratulations, Rod. You are about to go down in medical history.
Aidan: And by that, Rod, we mean "go down."
Tad: Yeah. It's kind of ironical, you know? "Rod" -- Rod, get it? See what I did there? You try this on anybody?
David: Yeah, actually, I did, but unfortunately, he died before I got to see how it worked.
Rod: Hey, what's -- what's that stuff do?
Aidan: Well, let's just say, say goodbye to your little -- down there.
Rod: What? What?
Tad: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, don't scare the man. I mean, technically, it'll still be there.
Aidan: Just out of commission.
Tad: Actually, Doc --
Rod: Well, you mean --
Tad: What are the chances that this thing will fall off?
David: Don't listen to them.
Rod: Wait -- what's going to happen?
David: Well, actually, what's going to happen is that you're going to feel a little dizzy and then rapid degeneration of the nerve endings surrounding your genitalia.
Aidan: Which is Wee Willy Winky to you, Rod.
David: In theory, you will never experience arousal ever again.
Tad: See, in theory, that's the way it works in mice and four-legged rats.
David: I think it's time for one of my assistants to help you roll up your sleeve.
Rod: No, no, no, no! You can't -- you can't do this!
David: Pick a sleeve, roll it up.
Tad: I got it.
Aidan: We are doing --
Aidan: Society a favor.
Tad: Yeah. You see, Rod, we wouldn't want scum like you to be able to procreate.
Aidan: Which means you shouldn't be allowed to father any little Rod or Rodettes.
Tad: After all, what kind of man would send two innocent kids to prison?
Aidan: Yeah, and hand over a little, innocent baby to the Chandlers?
Tad: Listen, what else did Adam offer you? I want to know.
Rod: I don't know what you're talking about, I swear!
Tad: Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, be a jerk. After your testimony, you're expendable.
Aidan: Yeah, they get the kid, they toss Babe and Jamie in prison, and then they get rid of Rod here. Oh, go for it, Doc. He's not going to need it soon anyway.
Rod: Hey, hey, hey. I wasn't part of any big plan or anything. I only did what I was told. I -- I met with the kids, and I told them I'd get them the baby back, all right?
Tad: Ah, come on. That's not what you hired on for, is it?
Rod: If I testified, there was another 100 grand coming my way. Ok?
Aidan: Go on, David. Do it and let's just toss him on the Chandlers' lawn after that.
David: In a few hours, any trace of the drug will have left your system.
Aidan: And the limp factor?
David: Will last forever.
Rod: Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'll do anything, ok? I'll do anything. I'll say anything. All right?
Babe: Look, I know that you hate me, but Jamie doesn't deserve this.
J.R.: Jamie, let's talk, ok? Alone?
Babe: J.R., do you think that I could say goodbye to Bess?
Jamie: Come on, man. She's walking out of your life.
J.R.: Yes. Bring my daughter down to my -- Ms. Carey. She's allowed to see her down in the foyer for a few minutes.
Babe: Can I hold her?
J.R.: Yes. Just don't leave them alone for any reason.
Guard: Yes, sir.
J.R.: You're wrong, you know that? It's not too late.
Jamie: So you'll help us?
J.R.: I don't want you making the same mistake that I made with Babe. I mean, you can take off. You can leave through the back door.
Jamie: No, I can't do that.
J.R.: Dump her. I'll fix it with my dad. He won't drag you through any of this. You'd be completely in the clear.
Jamie: What about Babe?
J.R.: I don't care about Babe! I care about you.
Greenlee: Test me. Take my blood. Hook me up to all the machines you've got.
Maria: That's true? About Bobby?
Greenlee: I didn't intend to tell her and obviously I wouldn't, but this -- my sensors have completely malfunctioned.
Maria: Ok, then let's talk about it. You tell me from the beginning everything -- when did it start? What kind of things trigger it?
Greenlee: No, it's out of the blue. It's -- it's very bizarre. I've told people's secrets, things that I would take to the grave. And then, if that's not bad enough, then --
Maria: Oh -- oh, no.
Bobby: Just when you thought life couldn't get any better, guess who finally got what was coming to him? Hmm? Zach promoted me. You just kissed the man in charge of operations for the entire East Coast casino. Hmm?
Bobby: You're -- you're shocked -- you're shocked. Well, so was I. So was I. Zach -- he finally got it. He knows I'm good and he knows I can make him look good. Honey, just, just -- come on, tell me -- tell me you're proud of me, huh? Huh?
Anita: How did this happen?
Bobby: Well, he's taking off.
Anita: He's leaving town?
Bobby: Yeah, for good. Who cares why. Zach's exit is good news all around.
Zach: Hey. Where have you been?
Maria: Were you worried about me?
Zach: Yeah, I -- I woke up and you were gone. There was no note.
Maria: Oh, well, I just got up early. I wanted to see the sunrise and you were sound asleep.
Zach: God. I was dreaming of you.
Maria: You were? Was it a good one?
Maria: Well, this lady on the side of the road was selling these. Kind of lovely, right?
Maria: And I remembered you said you liked guacamole, so I bought a whole mess, and I thought I would make some for you for lunch today.
Zach: Don't do that again. I -- I rolled over, you weren't there. I thought you were gone for good.
Maria: Why would you think that? I would never do that -- never.
Kendall: You are such a liar!
Zach: Hey --
Kendall: You sure as hell proved you're a Cambias. Only one of you could be so cruel. How can you -- how can you let -- I don't understand how you can let this happen!
Kendall: Listen to me. Ethan was arrested again. He was arrested again, ok? But all of this time, you left him twisting in the wind and you had the proof he needed. Why didn't you just help him? Why didn't you just tell him that you were Alex Cambias if he wasn't really your son?
Zach: Ok, why was he arrested?
Kendall: Wait a minute -- what? I mean, you -- you sit here and you -- you play your stupid games and you watch everybody else squirm, but you know what? Because of you, Ryan nearly died, and Ethan -- he could be going to prison for life.
Zach: I'm asking you a question. What happened?
Kendall: Ok, you need all the answers, but you leave the rest of us in the dark. You think you can ruin Ethan�s life and nobody cares? Well, I care about him. I care about him very much, and you are going to do something to help him whether he's your son or not.
Derek: Well, we can get you processed and stowed away. Take Mr. Ramsey through the drill.
Simone: My gosh! Ethan, what's going on? I mean, is there anything I can do to help?
Ethan: Kendall's already doing something.
Officer: Come on, Ramsey.
Simone: Wait, this has to be a false arrest! I mean, Ethan didn't try to kill Ryan! I mean, he's too nice! He's too eligible to -- oh, my gosh! I wanted to date him. I can't date an accused murderer. My father would kill me.
Babe: Look at you. Who's the prettiest girl? Yes, you are. Oh, you're Mama's big girl. Hey. I have to go away, but you're going to be with your mama real soon, I swear. I even left her a note, so -- so she knows to come and get you, ok?
Guard: Ahem. Everything ok?
Babe: Yeah, I know it seems kind of weird giving motherly advice to a baby. It's just I can barely stand to be away from her, even for a minute. Hey. Oh, your mama adores you so, so much. And you two are going to be together forever and always. I'm going to miss you so much.
J.R.: I don't want Babe doing to you what she tried to pull with me.
Jamie: Where is this coming from?
J.R.: Babe is the enemy.
Jamie: Oh, no woman's worthy of being a Chandler broodmare?
J.R.: I tell you, my life would've been a hell of a lot easier without Babe in it.
Jamie: So write a letter, burn her favorite shoes -- but prison? How are you going to explain that to your kid?
J.R.: Who says that I have to?
Jamie: You found out what your old man did to your mom. Do you think your kid's going to buy that locking up moms is a Chandler family tradition like Adam and Stuart�s fishing trips?
J.R.: I told you using the video against you for Colby and Liza --
Jamie: All right, so you didn't set phase two into motion, but you're still guilty.
J.R.: No, I made you an offer! I want you to take it because I don't want you put away!
Jamie: No, you want me to desert Babe!
J.R.: No, I want you to let her leave town because at least with her gone, we could try to get back to normal.
Jamie: Normal? Thanks to you, I got a knife in my gut!
J.R.: I'm sorry for that! I am! You have to know how sorry I am!
Jamie: Now, if you mean that, and it actually sounds like you do, let me move on, with Babe. We'll leave Pine Valley, the state, the whole country if that's the deal. You'll never have to see Babe and me again. But the question is, are you the man that I grew up thinking you'd be? Because right now, there's a shred of you that still looks human.
J.R.: And you still want me to fork over the money.
Jamie: Will you stake Babe and me a new life or are you too afraid your father will find out? Man, think for yourself. Let Adam run his businesses, his house, but not you.
Greenlee: Maybe she won't even ask Bobby. Maybe she'll let it go.
Maria: Would you?
Greenlee: If I could take it back, I would, but I can't. There's no warning and I just spew things out that could ruin people's lives.
Maria: Ok, you know what? Let's have a seat. Let's talk about this.
Bobby: I just knew this would happen if I just hung in.
Anita: Good news for you.
Bobby: No, for us. I mean, this means a big, big payroll bump for me. No more money problems, huh? Huh?
Anita: I guess now you can pay Kendall back.
Bobby: Sure, yeah. No problem.
Anita: So you didn't have to seduce Greenlee after all?
Bobby: No, I -- I didn't sleep with Greenlee.
Anita: Her choice or yours?
Bobby: I couldn't cheat on us, Anita.
Anita: You decided that after you made your move or after she had said no?
Bobby: I tried to get out of it. I wouldn't risk our marriage over money.
Anita: You know what? I'll tell you what -- why don't you make a list of all your other secrets and we'll compare notes after I'm off duty.
Bobby: Anita, please --
Anita: Just go home, Bobby. I've got work to do.
Bobby: Anita -- Anita, wait!
Greenlee: The words -- that's awful enough, but then to be standing there thinking, "Gee, it's kind of drafty and everyone is looking at me." Horrified. And then Kendall tells me that I'm naked.
Maria: What medication are you on?
Maria: No new supplements, no vitamins? No -- are you on the birth control pill?
Greenlee: No. In fact, Ryan and I thought that these were symptoms of pregnancy.
Maria: Are you trying?
Greenlee: And having fun doing it, but then the possibility turned so real so fast, and it hit us -- the fear that we'd warp a kid for life. I mean, neither of us had positive role models.
Maria: Yeah, but you guys are going to make great parents.
Greenlee: See, that's what makes you my ideal.
Greenlee: You and Edmund. I mean, all that you've been through and you're such great parents. Sam and Maddie are, like, the luckiest kids in the world. What is your secret?
Maria: Yeah, well, don't put me on any pedestals, believe me. So there are no -- no common denominators of this?
Greenlee: No. None that I can think of.
Greenlee: Am I going nuts?
Maria: No, no, you know what? It's probably just a lot of stress. Your -- Ryan just got shot, the whole Cambias mess, and then Ethan trying to take over everything.
Greenlee: So you think I'm having a nervous breakdown?
Maria: No, no, you know what? I think it's probably just -- you know what? We'll just run some tests. We'll run some simple tests, get your blood work done, and we'll try to narrow down the possibilities.
Greenlee: Do you think it could be a brain tumor?
Maria: Oh, would you stop! Come on, it's probably just a chemical imbalance or something. Come with me. I have some time right now.
David: Ah. When am I ever going to get a chance to test this on a human?
Tad: Well, I wouldn't get too depressed, doc. If our new friend here doesn't play by the rules, it might be sooner than you think.
Rod: I gave you my word.
Aidan: Yeah, as if that's worth anything.
David: You keep this in mind, Rod -- we'll know where you are, what you're up to, and if you ever try to double-cross us --
Tad: We'll find you, drag you into an alley, and have you neutered before you can say "Humane Society."
Aidan: I actually think you're a lucky guy because you get to leave here with all your plumbing in order, and you can start life fresh.
Tad: Anywhere you want, as long as it's away from Pine Valley.
Rod: I want to do the right thing.
David: Hmm. You wouldn't be trying to play us now, would you, Rod?
Rod: Oh, but -- without the 100 grand that the Chandlers had promised me, how can I go anywhere?
Aidan: Right, then, here's a 20. You stick the fuel in your tank. When it runs out, you can walk because if I ever see you around again --
[Aidan whispers in Rod's ear]
Rod: You'll never see me again. Never.
Aidan: Nice work, boys.
Tad: Yeah. So much for Adam's secret weapon.
Aidan: Well, I'd love to stay and celebrate but there's a certain woman that I need to thank.
Tad: Cheers, mate.
Tad: You know, I hate to admit it, but maybe Krystal was on to something.
David: What are you talking about?
Tad: Well, when we're not busy trying to beat each other half to death, we're actually capable of some decent teamwork.
David: Yeah, well, let's not make a habit of it.
J.R.: All right. It's time to go.
Babe: So soon? I --
J.R.: Yes, we're all done. Come on.
Babe: Hey. You remember everything that I said, ok? Ok? Hey, you're going to be -- you're going to be just fine. Remember I'll always love you. I'll always --
J.R.: All right. All right, come to Daddy. Come to Daddy. Hi. Hi. Hi! Yeah.
Babe: Goodbye, J.R.
J.R.: You know, some people you just can't help. Well, pumpkin, this is how it was meant to be. Just you and Daddy. Just you and Daddy.
Maria: So everything looks pretty good, but we'll know in a couple of hours. We'll get your blood tests back and we'll take a peek at it.
Bobby: You talked -- you spoke to Anita. What the hell's wrong with you?
Greenlee: I don't know.
Bobby: How could you do that, huh? You get off on wrecking my marriage?
Anita: This isn't -- I -- I -- I didn't expect you.
Aidan: And I would leave, but I don't think I should.
Anita: No. Stay. You should know that you were right. Bobby never stopped lying. I think my marriage is over.
Babe's voice: It just seems that -- that God's all out of miracles, especially for me.
Jamie: Listen to me. You can do it. You'll give Miranda back to Bianca. You'll have Ace and you'll keep him so far away from J.R., he'll never lay eyes on him.
Babe: It just sounds too good to be true.
Jamie: It's not. We'll kidnap Ace, and we'll run away.
Babe: Hey. So I can't believe J.R. was that generous. It's kind of a lot of cash.
Jamie: Maybe he thought it would ease his guilty conscience.
Babe: J.R. doesn't have a conscience.
Jamie: Well, I thought I saw one there for a minute. Are you ready?
Babe: I guess. It looks like we have enough cash to take off.
Tad: Take off where?
David: Any answer? Where are you going?
Tad: Don't just stand there looking busted. Say something. What's up with you two?
Babe: Do you think that we should --
Jamie: The truth will come out anyway. Might as well be now.
Maria: Ok, let's bring this over here. Greenlee did not make the mess that you're in.
Bobby: There wasn't any. I didn't do anything wrong.
Maria: Well, I don't think that Anita would see it that way.
Bobby: Ok, don't play that game with me, like you're the patron saint of marriage? Where'd you sleep last night?
Simone: Oh, Greenlee. Isn't it awful?
Greenlee: Did I do something else?
Simone: No, not you -- Ethan.
Greenlee: What about him?
Simone: Well, he's under arrest again. They can prove that he shot Ryan.
Derek: Right. Well, take him to holding.
>> On the next "All My Children" --
Bobby: Oh, no, we're not done yet. You don't just get to tank my marriage and walk away.
Kendall: When you said Ethan wasn't your son, maybe you were lying. Are you his father after all?
Babe: We're in love!
David: Stop saying that.
Bianca: I'm here to make you an offer you can't refuse.
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